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t3_jvxo0 | AskReddit | I'm just wondering if someone who is knowledgeable about cancer treatments can comment on this. | I'm going through a battle with cancer with someone close to me, and we're coming close to the date for the first chemotherapy session. I'm very much aware of the side effects associated with chemo, and, to be frank, I'm not looking forward to them. I posted the video above because, although I generally despise "alternative medicine" and the false hopes they give patients, this video is somewhat making me reconsider my stance on his treatment.
That being said, I'm very much aware of how easy it is to potentially manipulate people's opinions on certain subjects via media(ex: In Plane Sight and films like it). It just strikes me as odd that the FDA would go through so much trouble to shut him down.. but not because the drug doesn't work. I'm hoping to hear from someone who has experience with this particular treatment - be it firsthand or otherwise. We are still going to go through the chemo, however if there's a chance that this could work(see the first sentence of this paragraph) I would, of course, want to pursue the treatment.
Let's face it. Anyone who has struggled with cancer, specifically a stage four diagnosis, would want to do anything they can to potentially beat it into remission if not erase it completely. | There's an hour and a half long video above, and I'm wondering if anyone can shed some light on the validity of the treatment. I'd love to hear from an oncologist if we have any here on Reddit. |
t3_29mxdx | relationships | Me [36 F] with my _new hook-up [39 M], how to navigate the upcoming sexual relationship? | I have been chatting to a guy for 6 months, no haven't met yet, but we've discussed hooking up. He lives 3 hrs away and travels sometimes to my city, which is Down Under (NZ/Australia region.)
We were going to meet last night. He emailed me last night, but before he gave me the address of his hotel, it looked as though he fell asleep. I didn't find out till this morning, which kind of relieved me as I thought he had suddenly backed out with no reason.
He apologised this morning and explained he fell asleep - but that was at 7.30am. I could've replied but took a couple of hours, as I didn't have much sleep last night - part of wondering what happened with him and due to the early hour.
I did reply that we could still meet today, but it looks like he's not replied today as he's gone back to his home city.
I want him quite badly. How do I broach getting him to get back here earlier than his next kind of business trip in a month - or me visiting him down there in his city? | I (female, 36) need some advice on the new guy (39, male), want to meet for what will be a sexual relationship. |
t3_2f1w9k | relationships | Me [21 M] just asked girl I'm dating [19 F] to be my girlfriend. I got rejected and asked to try again | Long story short, I asked this girl I'm dating, let's call her Taylor, to be my girlfriend. She's wanted me to ask her to be my Girlfriend for a long time now [4 months] and has explicitly told me that she wants this. Today, we were making out on my bed and I whispered in her ear, "will you be my girlfriend?". She says "I'll think about it" and after we finish making out we watch some TV, and I take her home. Good vibes the entire drive back, smiling at each other and kissing at stop lights, some comedy-romance movie shit.
She then texts me later telling me how she **won't** say yes *because of the way I asked her*. Citing:
"I feel like you lured me into your bed To ask me that question",
"I want to be able to tell my friends and family a nice story of how you asked me",
"I feel like [the way you asked me] was inappropriate",
"I was expecting a 'big plan' and a 'romantic setting' to be asked that question",
"how would you feel if your sisters [14] boyfriend [non existent] asked her that way?",
"I want my mom to like you, this story wouldn't make you look good"
Am I crazy, or does it seem like my dating partner doesn't really care about what being "boyfriend and girlfriend" actually means and what it implies, but cares more about how I ask her. I'm just super confused and want someone else's insight. | asked my dating partner to be my girlfriend, didn't ask in a way she sees fit, I get rejected and told to try again with the promise of approval. |
t3_3vwb8g | tifu | TIFU By Texting my crush too much | Not so much as a today i fucked up, more of a, last few months i fucked up. Ok so im just a 16 year old high school kid, trying to get with a girl, as you do. Me, thinking it was normal, got her number i would text her (pretty much whenever i got the chance) and we would talk. I wouldnt call because she was at work a lot. She would always tell me how much she hates texting when we talked at school. Me, not thinking properly kept on texting her, not thinking about the fact i did something she hated on a daily basis. She didnt really talk to me about it so i figured she was ok with texting with me. A few days later, i text her like normal, and i dont get a response. I thought to myself, oh im sure she is just busy. i waited a day, 2 days, a week, 3 weeks. Still nothing, she just stopped talking to me. She seems like she is trying to avoid me at school, and when she does see me she seems really uncomfortable. | Texted a nice girl too much, she didnt like texting, i didnt take the hint and she stopped talking to me entirely a while later |
t3_36l83u | relationship_advice | [20/M] in love with best friend [23/M] Thoughts? | So I will keep this swift as possible, but I have had this growing crush that has turned into pure love for my closest and dearest friend. We get along well, complimenting each others weaknesses and sharing a great deal of similarities. Originally he had a boyfriend, but that ended 5 months ago. Since then he has moved on and has been looking to get into another relationship. I told him a long time ago that I love him, but since he was in a relationship, he didn't want to cheat (I told him I had no intents to homewreck). Recently he has been going out on "dates" (hook-ups) and has been talking to this one guy who lives five hours away. He told me that the guy was just a dream and wouldn't happen but is talking about having him visit. Im not sure if it's optimism on his part or if this is actually the plan. Also, when he goes on these "dates" he will sometimes lie to me. I've talked to him and he always says he doesn't want to be in a relationship because I'm the only person he trust and cares about. So he is afraid of that changing. However, I just continue getting more jealous and protective of him, as though he is mine. I don't know what I should be doing, especially since I don't want to stop seeing him (would cause both of us pain) but I keep getting hurt as I watch him texting and talking to these other guys. Any advice? Preferably not involving to cut him out of my life? | Love my best friend, but he is talking to other guys (he knows I love him). It hurts me because I love him so much but don't want to stop being his friend. Advice? |
t3_3ovhni | tifu | TIFU but not just asking the teacher | So last week wednesday, I woke up feeling pretty bad. I figured I'd be fine. First mistake, by 2nd period, I was completely out of it. Could barely think. My stats lesson went over my head. Was out the rest of the week and came back Monday still feeling pretty shitty. It's better mostly bow, but still not great.
Second mistake. Test was today, I had started but not finished basically all of the homework.
Third mistake. I didn't tell the teacher any of this.
I took that test, and despite having read through the lesson, I couldn't remember formulas. When the period finished, I was still unfinished. I go up to the teacher and ask to finish after school, she suggests a study hall, to which I kinda bumble around with excuses about the test I'm making up for my night class at the local college from last thursday before just saying ok. I go check in with the advisor, and check the formulas on the way. I get back to her and continue the test only now I'm panicking so I pull my phone out and she's suddenly standing there, just as the Dean of dicipline steps in to ask her a question about a club activity. She's understandably pissed so I measly hand her the test. And that's where I fucked up. I go to a highschool where thay is more than enough to get me straight up expelled without any prior issues. And in case it isn't obvious expulsion fucks people over. Paticularly those who are planning for college. And all because I couldn't remember a single formula. I feel horrible about the whole thing,.
I'm planning to speak with her after school, I'm going to ask her basically tear that test up and let me make up with a new test at her discretion. I hope I can at least try to make this issue better. Today, I really fucked up | Got sick. Cheated on a test in a panic. Got caught. Could have prevented by asking the teacher some questions. Hoping I can arrange a way to make up for it. |
t3_3ql888 | relationships | I [22/M] kissed my language teacher [26/F] on a night out. Both her and another language teacher [24/F] have a crush on me. What the hell do I do now? | As part of my college degree I'm studying in Spain at a foreign language school. Somehow both teachers here have a crush on me, strong enough for all the students to notice. I'm genuinely attracted to one of them and last Saturday when we were out we were dancing pretty suggestively and ended up kissing.
After a while I guess perhaps she realized the possible consequences and after a long chat said we couldn't take it any further even though she wanted to. Since then she's messaged me here and there and has invited me out to a few events. Everything's pretty normal in classes, perhaps a little bit more flirtatious. All of which makes me think she's probably still interested but didn't exactly want to make a rash decision when drunk.
Anyway, I really have no idea. I don't want her to jeopardise her job but I really want to pursue a relationship with her because I know I'd regret not trying everything I could. Moreover I don't want to completely burn all bridges with the other teacher who seems interested in me and make things awkward in school.
Any advice? | Two teachers have a crush on me, one of whom I want to pursue and have already kissed but don't want to completely mess everything up. |
t3_1g3tz0 | dating_advice | How to go from date to being FRIENDS (17/F) with him (2?/M)? | Ok, so here's what's going on:
I'm a 17 year old female who graduated from high school. He's a 20 something year old male I met at a trivia game night last Friday. He asked me to be his partner in the game (normal protocol) and we hit it off. He asked me for my number, I gave it to him awkwardly, and then he texted me today asking if I wanted to go get dinner with him this Thursday.
I don't know him. He doesn't know me. We barely talked last week, and he didn't specify how old he was when I asked, but apparently he just finished community college. He's a nice guy, I think.
I said yes to dinner, but I'm in denial about it. This is my first relationship. I don't know if he's just trying to get into my pants or if he really does want to be my boyfriend (which I find hard to believe because I don't think I'm that attractive or charismatic). And if he does, I don't know if I want to date him, although I feel like I'll need to get some dating experience for college anyways, and he's a nice guy, I think.
What I really want is to be close friends with him. I want to crash at his place and watch cool movies together, explore the city, go to the library and read, do stuff that's fun, things like that without ever even approaching sex or a non-platonic kiss.
What do I do? | I'm scared this guy who is older just wants sex, and if that's not the case, that I might just want to be close friends with him (if that's possible and please tell me it is). |
t3_2x06es | tifu | TIFU by telling an old Cherokee woman at the beer vendor that she made me hard | So I walk into my regular beer vendor, and there's this super nice maybe 60 year old cherokee woman that I always see there. She works there. And some probably 30 year old gothic chick behind the counter, also very nice. I'm chatting them both up about beer and stuff for a little while and the cherokee women and I were talking and she kept calling me handsome and feeding me compliments, and then she said
> "Ha, he's blushing!",
then I of course told her it was because lovely young women such as herself don't compliment me everyday, smooth as fuck, right? As I was leaving I kept trying to push the door that was clearly labeled pull and I had no idea why I couldn't get the door open until they laughed at me and called me an idiot, to which I responded,
> "I guess the bloods somewhere else right now",
and winked at them, and they burst out laughing as I left. I meant it was in my cheeks instead of my brain... Not my dick... Now everyone thinks I'm hot for the old Cherokee woman at the beer vendor.
Pretty much copied this verbatim from a text I just sent to a friend, so please excuse the lack of elaborate story. | Old woman at the beer vendor complimented me, I was blushing. Proceeded to push a pull door for several seconds, after which I inadvertently exclaimed that I had an erection, winked at her, and left the establishment. |
t3_1u963u | relationships | Me [21M] and my ex [21F] recently broke up.. now she's partying. | She's partying constantly been drinking every night, and going to clubs with her friends. This is all getting to me very hard, and I'm having trouble sleeping at night. It feels like my stomach is dropping, and I don't know how to cope with it. I'm not the type to go after random girls, and party every night. I don't know what to do, and every time she does something my focus is lost, and my mind is set on her.
Our break up was pretty bad, and we didn't have closure. We broke up because we wanted different things. I sent her flowers after the break up and let her know I wanted this to be respectful. She even kissed one of my friends a week later :( .. | She's partying a lot, and all I can think about is how she's with random guys every night. It hurts .. a lot .. |
t3_1l48ji | personalfinance | Need insight on credit cards | Hey guys, not sure if this is the proper subreddit to post in, if it isn't could you point me into the right direction.
Regardless, my issue is I'm 24, need to build some credit since I barely have any bills to pay. So I had a student account 2-3 years ago with HSBC that included checking, savings, debit & credit card. Due to some circumstance I had to cancel that account and merge it with my parent's HSBC account. This meant I had to cancel the student credit card and debit card. I had no outstanding balance on the credit card when I did have to cancel it.
Fast forward to around present day, I tried to apply for a Chase Freedom card, but I was denied due to something along the lines of "outstanding balance," I'm wondering if this is my student loans. Applied for another card just yesterday, since I'm going back to school for part-time. I applied for a student Citi Forward card, but was just denied again and I don't know why, person on the line said I should be reviving in the mail why in a week-ish.
I have no idea what my credit is, I had paid my student credit card bills from HSBC on time, except for one time which I was late probably 2-3 months and this was because I was away for college and my bill was mailed home and my parent didn't think to open my HSBC mail to let me know. No idea if that had an impact on my credit.
Anyway, was anybody else in this type of situation and didn't know what to do exactly? | Applied for credit card, denied both times. No idea why, was anybody in the same situation? How did you resolve it/how can I? |
t3_3lkl4o | relationships | Me [20F] with my holiday fling [22 M/F] duration, found out he has a girlfriend at home and not sure if/how I should tell her. | I'll keep as short as I can.
I just got back from a 10 day cruise where I met two boys who were friends and came on the cruise together. I ended up spending abit of time with them both.
One of the boys basically started a physical kind of relationship with me for the duration of the cruise. It was obviously only a physical thing for both of us, we got off the ship and that was that.
He happened to pop up on Facebook in the 'people you may know' and I had a stalk and saw he has a girlfriend. Not a long term one, but I feel like I should tell her so she doesn't waste her time or get STI's etc but not sure how or what to message her.
Help? | I found out my cruise fling has a girlfriend after coming home from the holiday. I should tell her but don't know how, where or what? |
t3_q9ezo | loseit | Sleep Deprived | About 6 weeks ago, I decide that it was time to stop making excuses and to start losing weight. My best friend uploaded pictures of us from her daughter's first birthday and I finally started to realize how big I was getting. I'm 5'4" and weighed 230 pounds at the time. With eating at least 1200-1600 calories and aiming to burn 500 calories a day, I've lost a total of 12 pounds since then and I can say that I'm very proud of myself.
However, I have noticed that since I've started this routine, I've been unable to stay asleep any longer than 5 hours a night. I can easily fall asleep, but I still wake up in the middle of the night. I've tried forcing myself to go back to sleep by laying in bed, doing relaxation techniques, warm milk, etc. but it doesn't work. I've gotten so desperate that I've even counted sheep. I've never had this problem before. I usually sleep like a baby, so this is driving me crazy and stressing me out!
I would also like to add that I work out every night at 7pm for an hour and fall asleep around 9pm/10pm. Sometimes I fall asleep even later...I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it.
Anyway, I just wanted to know if anyone else has this problem and if there's anything that they do that helps them stay asleep longer? | Ever since I became active, I've had trouble staying asleep for more than 5 hours. Anything I can do to change this? |
t3_gw2ci | AskReddit | Is it normal to pay $75 to disable a car alarm? | My girlfriend's 2001 Nissan Xterra's alarm started going off for no reason a few minutes after walking away so we had to disable it. I've Honestly never owned a car with an alarm so we took it to a car stereo place in town to get it disabled. Her clicker (key fob) is after-market which they said was causing the problem and that because it was a stock alarm in the car just unplugging it would also be unplugging all the lights and horn on the car. He said they would need to "reprogram" it and that it would take about an hour costing $75. I've really only owned older, mechanically simple, cars so I'm not sure what I'm talking about when it comes to alarm systems and engine computers (not even sure if the 2001 nissan xterra se has an engine computer). I seem to be failing when it comes to google research so I thought I'd try to get some help here. Thanks reddit! | 2001 nissan xterra se with stock alarm and aftermarket key fob. $75 to disable alarm sound right? |
t3_hhghz | AskReddit | I'll let the hive-mind help me out on this one. | Let me start off by giving a little background. I am 26 y/o and decided to go to college three years ago. I know I was a little late to the show, but I was motivated at the time. I majored in criminal justice and have one semester of classes left. I have wanted to be a cop for quite some time.
Now to the issue: Being a "non-traditional" student living in the dorms, I found that making friends my age would be difficult. I started hanging out with a lot of the younger crowd. I was drug free most of my life, with the exception of a little pot here and there in high school. Maybe three times in total. I got drunk at school about three weeks ago and found out the next day that I was the "life of the party." As it turns out I was told I was doing cocaine as well as extacy. This completly kills my chances of being a police officer. I have no idea what I want to do with my life anymore. The only job that seemed to fit me was that of a cop. Changing my major is not an option as I cannot afford anymore school. So, are there any suggestions for someone about to recieve a criminal justice degree later in life than most? | Wanted to be a cop. Made some bad decisions one night and need to figure out what I am going to do with my life. |
t3_2rsw7z | relationships | I think I (27f) accidentally discovered my boyfriend's (26m) secret past...(xpost from /r/sex) | We have been together for 3 years and live together. When we went through the "what is your sexual experience" conversation, he told me he had sex with one woman before me, a long term girlfriend and that was partway through college. I believed this to be true because he is shy and it fit him. He also harped on how he disapproves of people sleeping around a lot and that mentality.
However, I unintentionally overheard him talking to his friend last night and he was giving him advice about girls. He said, "Just do what you want to do. Have fun and get some while you can, whenever you can. Then when you are ready to find a nice girl to settle down with, never talk about it again." This has made me seriously second guess what he has told me about his past, because he does only tell people things on a "need to know" basis (as he sees fit), and I could see him trying to keep a seedy past away from me. I don't like to think he would outright lie to my face, but I'm not naive (read: jaded).
I know everyone will say, "talk to him!"... but you have to see my dilemma. If I just ask him and he is lying, he will surely just continue the lie. Or maybe I am reading too much into it and he will get angry. I never really cared if he did sleep around before he met me. But I despise being lied to and how it feels to not be able to trust someone anymore. How do I put my mind at ease that he hasn't just been lying to me for three years?
I guess I am looking for thoughts, opinions, advice, similar experiences... whatever you have to offer. | BF said he hasn't slept around, but advice to his friend suggests otherwise. Could this mean he actually did and just lied to me this whole time? What should I do?! |
t3_349g94 | relationships | I (22M) have a problem with my SO (21F) talking to our "friend" .. the problem is, he's flirting with her and she does nothing about it | Someone I believed to have been my "friend" (lets call him Mike) is being very flirty with my girlfriend of almost 2 years, and the rest of our friends can see it.
I won't go into too much detail, but Mike has been talking with her for about a month now since I introduced them (I've known Mike for a couple years, we weren't REALLY close friends, but the kind you'd have a beer and talk problems with) in a very flirtatious way. She acknowledges that Mike is flirting with her and she doesn't flirt back, but doesn't see anything wrong with him flirting and that if she sees he is not a threat to our relationship, that I shouldn't care that he flirts with her. Mind you, I went to Mike about this and told him to back off because he was coming onto her, so he apologized and said he'd stop, but that was for maybe a day or two until he continued again.
I've tried explaining to her that it is not because someone is flirting with her, but it is because a friend (I guess someone I believed was?) is flirting with her that I find very uncomfortable and am hurt by. They've been talking for a month and he's been flirting as of the last couple of weeks, but she refuses to even give a thought to stop talking with him or not give him as much conversation.
I don't know if I'm overreacting about this, but I thought I'd share here and hear a few opinions on the matter. | my friend is flirting with my SO, she is not flirting back, but doesn't see a problem in him flirting with her despite him being my friend |
t3_2750lw | jobs | Any thoughts on Green jobs? | I am a recent graduate and a "hippie". I want a job that matters and that is good for the earth while still making enough money to pay student loans and basic living expenses. I have no problem moving up and starting at the bottom but I have no certifications or anything other than a BA in Psychology. I speak Spanish and have management experience in the office and retail setting. I am 30 super driven and HATE my life working retail not making ends meet and am willing to sleep in ditches, shovel manure, and travel to make something of myself. I just need someone to take a chance on me. I have a strong work ethic and drive. Put self through school and have worked since I was 13 "on the books". Even the stuff I have experience in the companies only want to offer my minimum wage or the lowest level position in the company that it will be 5 years before I am making a living wage. I am willing to climb but can't acquire another mountain of debt while waiting to be paid enough to live day to day. I spend almost no money except to cook from home for every meal and gas to and from work and then rent. I am at the point of tears as I feel like nothing I do or have done amounts to anything. | I need advice on where to apply for a job making at least 12-13 per hour so I can pay rent and eat daily and would like it to be in a field either helping the world or being kind to those less fortunate. |
t3_3b2xjn | Advice | Girl from college gave me her number and I want to ask her out | First things first:
I've known this girl for about 5 years now. We finished college 3 years ago and since gone our separate ways to different Universities.
We were friends in college but little more (I had a massive crush on her but was too scared to ask her out).
A few weeks ago she sends me a facebook message saying she had a new number and I should text her so she can have mine.
Now I know that's pretty much the big hint, but we've barely spoken in the last 3 years besides the odd writing happy birthday on each other's walls etc. Plus every so often I have received messages that are obviously frapes so her sending me this put a large level of doubt into my mind. Naturally I asked if that was meant for anyone else (yeah bit of a stupid thing to ask, but we never swapped numbers before even when we hung out at college so her out of the blue giving me a new number is a bit weird).
Anyway, she said that she sent that message to lots of people and it was intentional, which sent me thinking lots of things like why would she send it to me?
Either I'm just being overly doubtful or she genuinely wants my number. I don't know, I was gonna text her and come up with some bullshit about catching up with people from college and asking if she wanted to hang.
I really like her and have always done since I met her and never known where she stood with me. I know she liked me but I don't know if she liked me in that way or does now. Plus she is insanely attractive. She shouldn't have difficulty finding guys but she's been single almost as long as I've known her. | Girl I've had a crush on for five years has given me her number out of the blue and I want to ask her out but I'm too much of a pussy to pursue. |
t3_1svxrh | relationships | [18M] broke up with me [19F] because he found long distance too difficult. He wants to stay friends but I still love him. | M 18 broke up with me F 19 because he suddenly decided long distance was too hard, he gave no warning and his reasons were bullshit. I can't suddenly stop being in love with him and it hurts not even being able to talk.
I don't know whether to just contact him and say how I don't want to break up and hopefully change his mind, or to just leave it until I think I could manage to be friends with him. He was my best friend and I still want that, but think I will always love him.
Advice needed. | He broke up with me because he found distance too hard, he wants to be friends somehow but I am still in love with him. |
t3_2ezpvv | relationships | My boyfriend [25 M] can't hold a job.....worried about our future | We've been together for a year and 3 months. In that time, he has been through over 5 jobs. The longest he has held one has been for 3 months in that time. He is 25 and I don't think he has even held a full time job. He JUST started college due to my encouragement.
Also, he hasn't had a job for almost 3 months now. Yes, he hasp plenty bills. He took out a loan to pay for them once. Then I heard he finally got a job, but now that has all died down and apparently he decided to quit it after one day of work.
He has been surviving on doing yard work on people's lawns, which isn't a real job and stresses me out. That is now all about to end. BUT lucky him, he has taken out a $1700 loan from the school plus he'll get the $600 back from pell grant. Maybe he'll get the truck he has been dying for, who knows?!
My point is, I can't stand the decisions he makes with money. What if I want to move in with him?! I can't trust him in a job. And he is happy enough to go along with his life, hardly trying to get a REAL job and when times are tough, get a loan! -_-
What should I do? I love him with a lot of other traits, but is this worth it? I'm so worried about my future with him if there is one. What if I end up having to pay for everything? | Boyfriend jobless again and taking out loans to pay bills. What should I do? Give up on him due to stress or have faith in him? |
t3_1dcowg | dating_advice | How do I (25M) find out if she (23F) is really ready for a serious commitment? | I have been out with this wonderful girl a few times now - gotten dinner and went to the movies; went to a museum, cooked her dinner, watched several movies, spent the night; a few reddit meetups.
Within the last few months, she broke up with her bf, and said at the start she didn't want to rush into anything too soon.
Well, the heart seems to have other plans. For us both. From what I can tell, her and I both really like each other - We've both said it to each other.
How do I respect her initial comment on not wanting to necessarily "settle down" (for the lack of a better phrase at the moment) while seeing if she is ready to do so?
It would be unfair to us both, emotionally, to be led on / lead each other on / etc. if that is not what we are both willing to jump into right now. We both enjoy spending the time together that we have spent so far, and want to spend more time together and do more.
She has been up front in saying that she was talking to someone else as well, but from what I have gathered, that is no more based on something that happened over the weekend. | Known her for a few months, hung out a few times, fell fast and hard. How can I tell about bringing it to the next level? |
t3_18daf0 | BreakUps | GF [22] and I [22] just broke up long-distance, we've been shaky since I last saw her. Not sure if we made the correct decision. | We were doing long distance for 6 months, dating for about 15. Things were great until I left home after Winter Break, and since there is no set date on when we'll see each other again, things are shaky. Since then, I've been hesitant about where I want to take the relationship. We've been arguing a bit more than usual, and just really haven't been clicking.
We broke up earlier today over Skype - she initiated it. I have not been doing enough to keep her happy, and I find her wanting to break up completely validated. I want her to be happy, but I just feel so powerless from this far away. And I feel like it's not fair to her. She deserves the best, and I shouldn't keep her from that. There is just so much more to a relationship working other than feelings for each other though. I want to think we're too young to deal with this kind of stress that we were putting on each other by living apart. It is just an extremely hard pill to swallow.
I just don't really know if we made the correct decision. I still love her, and she still loves me. Right now, we are on very level-headed terms, and there is no anger between us. We both seem to be content with the time we spent with each other, and that we understand why things didn't work out. It's exactly that that is keeping me from just saying screw it and move on. We do not regret a single moment with each other, so it makes me think we might have a future, even though we would be living apart for so long.
It's tough for me to explain this without writing a novel, so I hope you can see where I am torn. It feels great to write this out and get it off my chest. Thank you for reading this and for your responses. | GF and I decided we should break up, not sure if it was the right decision because we still love each other, the long distance relationship just was not working. |
t3_4fy9au | relationships | At what point do you give up trying to organise a date? | Here is the situation:
Met a guy on Tinder. A+++ banter, check. I (22F) ask him (23M) for a coffee date, check. He asks for my number, check. Fabulous in-person conversation, check. He sends a follow-up text, check. He asks for my Facebook, check. I ask him on a proper date, and we organise it.
Plot twist: he has to cancel (and had a legit reason, not flaking, which kind of explains the whole texting a little bit less over the last week too)
Since then, he hasn't really been proactive about organising another time to go out, but I'm just a little confused because I'm pretty good at reading people and he seemed interested in me in person. Do I send another follow-up to try and organise it, or do I just leave it, ball-in-his-court situation? I've only recently started dipping my toes in the waters of the dating pool again just recently after a *long* hiatus, so I'm still re-learning and navigating the etiquette.
There are two ways I see of approaching this:
1. I barely know the guy, so have nothing to lose if I try to organise it again and he turns me down.
2. If he were truly interested, he would do something about rescheduling our date, so I can take this to mean not interested.
I guess it's been a while since I felt the connection that I did with this guy with anyone (*cough cough my standards are way too high cough cough*) and I really don't want to fuck up what I see as the potential to get to know someone really interesting. | getting what I consider to be mixed signals from a new guy, and not sure whether to press the issue of reorganising a cancelled date |
t3_29g5kl | relationships | I [20F] need help in knowing if I should trust my bf [21M] and give him benefit of the doubt. | Dear reddit,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 3 years. He's always expressed, even to this day, how he's completely in love with me and how he's crazy about me etc etc. HOWEVER he is in a big party fraternity and early in our relationship, although he didn't cheat on me, he did flirt with a lot of girls for ego validation and attention.
Fast forward to yesterday- my bf is on vacation to Alaska and he hasn't had service because he's on a cruise but the few times we can talk, he tells me he has a gift for me. I wanted to reciprocate that, so I was looking for different gifts I can get for him. He is a musician so I wanted to get him something related to music. I couldn't call or text him cause he's overseas so I decided I'd maybe get some clues by going on his fb (he gave me his password himself so I thought he has nothing to hide). I briefly skimmed through a convo with his best friend whom he always talks with about music, and found recent conversations where he's obsessing about other girls and talking about "the struggle" of it. And how he hopes that the cruise he's on has unattractive people because he doesn't want to get tempted and he's extra flirtatious on vacations.
I already have trust issues with him- I used to find so many flirtatious texts with other girls in the past (not anymore), but this makes me lose all faith and hope in him. Maybe I am overreacting- but that is why I am on here asking for advice. To me, I think: Does he need to have ugly people around him to want to stay loyal to me? Is that what it really takes? I thought we had a serious relationship.
I don't want to be in a relationship where I am always on edge about whether or not my partner wants to be faithful to me. I want to know for a fact that he would love to be faithful to me just because he loves me. Please tell me your thoughts on this, and be honest- I hate constantly feeling like this with him and I am considering breaking it off. | Thought my bf of 2.5 years was serious about me, he acts like he's crazy about me but his conversations with his friend proved to be different than what I would've expected. |
t3_1j54pw | relationship_advice | [31/f] Trying not to lead a friend [30/m] on. | Here is the deal. We met through work a little over a year ago and have become good friends. Initially, I had a feelings for him and wanted a relationship but it just never happened. We have both dated people on and off but never really talk about our dating experiences with each other.
Fast forward to now. We still work together and hang out a few times a month. I became car-less about four months ago (it was stolen). I haven't replaced the car and he has been giving me a ride to work and back on the days that we have the same shift. He's also mentioned that he'll go with me and help me when I'm ready to get a new car. Recently, he's offered to let me use his car when he goes out of town.
Here is the problem. I just started dating someone new. I didn't directly tell my guy friend but he heard me talking about my dates with someone else. I know I have nothing to hide but I felt awkward talking about the new guy with my friend because it has become obvious that he has feelings for me. He's never made a move.
Should I say something to him or just leave it the way it is? He knows I'm seeing someone now and has even asked how it is going. I know I used to have feelings for him but it is one of those cases where the more you get to know someone, the more you see why dating them would never work. | Friend has recently shown interest after I started dating someone. He hasn't made a move but I don't want to lead him on. |
t3_1js9z7 | relationships | My [26m] GF [27f] loves to travel, we come from very different backgrounds | We've been together for a year and half, she comes from a prominent family in the middle eastern part of the world. She was born in the same city as me though (Boston), but has lived in Europe, Australia, and traveled ALL over the world.
So last year she had planned a trip and went away for two months. Our relationship was somewhat new at the time so I said Ok, we'll keep in touch with Skype and I'll just wait til you get back. Worked out fine.
This year, she told me she was going to be away for just a few weeks but it ended up turning into almost two months again. I've tried to keep myself busy but I flipped out at one point because she wouldn't give me a date as to when she'd return.
Our relationship hasn't been perfect, but we seem to have a deep understanding of one's ambitions. We are loyal to each other, have a lot of fun, and learn from each other. There are bunch of small things that can get on my nerves, this being the larger of them. The small things include: taking forever at restaurants, not being on time, always wanting to take pictures...well, you get the idea. I think I've come to understand that this is just the way she is, but then I have to ask myself, is it worth it?
Is there anyone else out there who tolerates being away for two months out of the year? I wish I could just leave my job and join her but I am not by any means as financially stable as she is and as much as she's willing to pay for a trip for me, I literally can't take more than a week off of work. | Girlfriend is rich as f*@k, I'm broke and stuck at my job, she loves to travel for two months out of the year. This frustrates me. Am I wasting my time? |
t3_4scv96 | relationships | I [27F] can't get over the fact that my boyfriend [24M] of 2 years never wants to get married. Please help. | So I'll start out by saying that we have been in a solid relationship now for almost 2 years although we have a longer history than that. We also have a child together that is almost 3.
My boyfriend recently has told me he doesn't see anything special about marriage. He doesn't think it actually means anything and has provided several examples of failed marriages from people we know. We were making plans to get married but my lack of planning abilities and my ability to get easily overwhelmed put it on the back burner. I asked him to propose to me officially and he said he would. Now though, he says he was only going along with it because it's what I want and it means nothing to him.
To me, I don't want to force him into something he doesn't care about. I'd like it to mean something to both of us and if it doesn't it isn't the same for me. I didn't think this was a deal breaker and told him I could get over the idea of being married one day, however I cannot seem to actually get over it.
The thing that really blows my mind is that I got married when I was a teenager and had a real wedding. I don't know why all of the sudden I feel like I'm missing out on an experience I've already had. I can only conclude that I got married for the wrong reasons before and this time I am in love and want to commit myself and my life to my partner.
Lately, whenever anyone has happy news I find myself resentful and envious. We have friends getting married next week and I'm trying anything I can to back out because the thought of going to someone's wedding is just awful. I've never been like this before. I'm usually happy for other people and their accomplishments. I've always loved going to weddings.
I'm not going to break up with my boyfriend. I do not want this to be a deal breaker for me. I love him and we have a great happy family together. We actively work on ourselves and our relationship and generally have great communication. I have talked to him about this but he's at a loss as well. How can I get over this? | My boyfriend doesn't believe in marriage and I can't get over it. Any advice on how to move on from here? |
t3_1n4bpx | relationships | My best friend (27F) is getting an abortion this week, any advice on how to be here as her friend? | Anyone that has had an abortion or been a friend of someone going through this: What was comforting to you? Is there anything that can be said or done to make this easier?
Back-story: My best friend is having an abortion this week and she's easily the most upset I've ever seen her. She is (to most of societies standards) in a stable enough position to raise a child- 27, decent job, great heart. However, her current boyfriend does not want a child at this time at he is very adamant about this. She has a 6 year old from a previous marriage who is a joy in all of our lives, but she does not want to bring another child into this world that she may be raising as a single mother.
I've told her repeatedly that I will be here no matter what she needs. All of her friends are here for her, but I know she feels alone without the support of her boyfriend which is one of the reasons she is going through with this. | best friend is having an abortion and I want to be there for her but I'm not sure the best way to comfort in this situation. |
t3_1gpj7m | relationship_advice | Is she (19/F) feeling me [18/M]? | This chick I know, who is in no way conservative about sexy times, randomly messages me from time to time. I have never had sex with her, but I do consider myself to be a friend of hers. She is always telling me how sweet I am, and how we need to chill, but she never wants to follow through wither plans. Her good friends say that she wants to fuck me and has for a while, but when I was talking to her, we never did anything. I tried to make a move, but she would just smile and say that she was on her period, for the fifth week in a row. I am not complaining because I haven't fucked her, but I am confused as to what her intentions are. I know I could man up and just ask her, but every time I try to communicate with her, she never responds.
Little more background knowledge: One of those girls that thinks all guys are pigs, hasn't been in a serious relationship in over 2 years, claims she wants a nice guy but rejects all of them (cept fo me :)) | Loose friend may want to have sex, but I am not sure if she really does, or is just being nice to me. |
t3_1tvb5o | relationships | I [22M] am thinking about reopening communication lines with ex best friend & girlfriend [22F] | A year and a half ago I had a dream come true--I asked out my best friend who was a girl and she said yes. The problem was that her being my girlfriend was nothing how I had hoped. She had been abused by her father at a young age and as such had intimacy issues that ultimately led to the demise of our relationship after 6 months. Essentially she wasnt attracted to me because mainly "assholes" turned her on (her words) and I was not an asshole.
Breaking up was very difficult and we never spoke again. A couple months later I slept with a good friend of hers because the opportunity arose, we had not dated in a long time, and my ex wasnt even attracted to me in the first place so I thought nothing of it, but apparently it made her furious.
Anyway, almost a year later (last night) we sort of ran into each other through a gathering of mutual friends. We were at the same dinner, and at one point we were in the same room alone for a short time but neither of us uttered a word, we just ignored each other like neither existed.
I dont know, I guess I sort of miss my old best friend and want to reconcile things, but after the moment last night that doesnt seem like a good idea. I sort of feel like trying to break the ice by shooting a short text message like "So yeah that was kind of awkward last night" or something idk. What would you do in this situation? | Ran into ex gf/ ex best friend last night, want to reconcile things but we ignored each other and it felt awkward. What would you do? |
t3_22u6m5 | relationships | I [22 F] cannot get over my boyfriend's [22 M] bad breath even after two months of dating. | Hey r/relationships
I recently started my first serious relationship with a guy I met at our college. Things have been going well except for his oral hygiene. I'm not too sure what he does in regards with his daily cleansing routine but his breath just reeks. I kind of danced around the subject at first, bringing up how I needed to get my teeth cleaned since I go twice a year. I then asked how many times he goes and he told me he's never gone... I didn't want to make him feel bad but on the inside I was pretty grossed out. It wasn't a shocker that his breath was stinking.
Apparently though this isn't too abnormal for him. He also rarely goes to the doctor and hasn't been in probably 7+ years. He claims that all the vitamins he takes helps him stay healthy and that he has no reason to go since he feels fine.
Now I know I can't force him to go but this is starting to become such a turn off that it really does need to be addressed. His teeth have a lot of yellow staining and even with mints, they don't last too long.
The reason why I haven't approached this topic yet is because I don't want to offend him yet I want him to realize how serious I think he should go. I don't want to be a nagging mother either and since we are new into this relationship, I'm not sure if I should be that upfront soon. Also, once when I asked him to get an STD check, he got upset since he thought I was calling him "dirty." He told me he is still a virgin but I know that some STDs can be passed around through oral sex. This made me a bit angry inside but I brushed it off since he claims he would never get in a relationship if he thought he had something. We have yet to have sex too so I guess I put that to the side for now.
Anyways r/relationships, how do I go about approaching this issue as a newbie in the dating world? Thank you! | Boyfriend has never been to a dentist. His bad breath turns me off but as a newbie to dating, I'm not sure how to approach this subject with someone who is already sensitive about medical issues. |
t3_33j6kp | relationships | Me [21F] with my live in SO [21M] of 3 years will not give me space when I need it | Sometimes when my SO and I are fighting I tell him that I need to go upstairs to the bedroom and have some space to myself. I do this so I can calm down, gather my thoughts, and to avoid the fight escalating needlessly because of me saying something rude due to seeing red or whatever.
When I do this, he insists to know when I will come back downstairs. Like every single time he demands to know exactly how long I will be upstairs. And he won't leave me alone until I answer. When I am this upset I really just need time to myself and he harasses me. Sometimes I go into the bedroom and lock the door and he just picks the lock and comes in. Then I go into the master bath and lock the door there and sit against it so he can't pick his way in but when I'm in there he just knocks and knocks on the door and says my name over and over until I eventually give. He doesn't understand that I need space and wants to talk right then.
This whole process is honestly so exhausting and makes me feel like I am losing my sanity. I want to leave the house when he is like this but I don't like driving when I am upset and there is no privacy in my neighbourhood. I told him his behaviour is abusive and he just gets mad and offended that I say that.
Honestly a lot of the time after I've removed myself I would come to conclusion that I was wrong and should apologize for a few things, but by then he has made things so much worse and is just absolutely terrible. | During fights I will remove myself to have some space/time alone and SO harasses me the entire time, makes me feel like I am going insane. |
t3_31xoyc | relationships | How would I (22M) know if I'm staying in my 3 year relationship out of familiarity? | Hey folks,
Been in a relationship for 3 years, nearly 4. We've been fighting on and off for the better part of 2.5 years, about petty things, nothing life shattering. Sex is at about once or twice a month. She's been diagnosed with depression lately, and so I try my best to ask her about her day, make sure everything going well on her end, and yet I feel like I'm doing it out of familiarity. We live together out of town for school, and summer is around the corner and I'm trying to determine whether I'm even happy. If I'm going to be frank, I'm not. But what if we can get back what we had when we were happy? It was great. I often don't like many of the qualities my GF possesses these days, but when I catch myself thinking like that I think how cutsie her personality can be once in a while, and I feel guilty. I don't know. We sometimes feel like strangers.
We nearly broke up once in the summer because I was also in limbo, and we were fighting everyday - about stupid shit, really.
I'm at a loss folks, I guess I'm looking for some wisdom. When do you know if you're in a relationship out of familiarity, and it's long time to move on and break up? | Been in a relationship for 3 years, nearly broke up once, fight all the time and we are kind of strangers at times, or so it feels. Am I here out of familiarity? |
t3_273mih | relationship_advice | I [20/f] basically have a crush like a stupid preteen ([21/m]) | Basically, I've got a typical high school crush on a guy for the first time since high school. I was in one relationship (serious and long-term) and that was initiated by my now-ex. I've been approached, but the last time I told someone I liked them was in kindergarten.
I'm friends with him, but not very close. My interest is fairly recent. I'm very introverted and I have very few friends, just because it's hard for me to warm to new people. This brings up the typical issues of, one, not wanting to lose him as a friend and, two, not making things awkward in our friend group.
We're both the same year in college, by the way. If this is relevant, I'm also openly bi, which I think might make some people assume that I'm actually a lesbian.
The other thing is, I don't know the first thing about his dating interests or history. I think he's straight, but I don't even know for sure if that's true (not because he's effeminate, just because it's a silly thing to assume with absolutely no reason).
He asked me to hang out with him several times and we've spent a few times just me and him watching movies or shows or just browsing Reddit. The problem is, I don't know if this is because he has very few friends as well or not. It could very reasonably be totally innocent, especially if he thinks I'm a lesbian.
The first thing would be to determine whether he's actually interested in dating and, specifically, interested in dating women. How do I do that tactfully? How likely is it that you guys would assume a girl would be uninterested because she said she was bi? Finally, how do I go about showing my interest? How is best for a female friend to get a guy's attention without hinting around as girls tend to do? | interested in a guy, mostly sure he's straight, not sure if he knows I'm half-straight, what steps do I take to tap dat? |
t3_32u3dh | relationships | I [34M] am an extrovert with my GF [25F] of 3 months who is an introvert. Any advice/experiences with this? | I've dated plenty of girls, but this is my first exclusive relationship with someone more introverted than I am. Things are going well so far, though the times when she is quiet/introverted make me uneasy.
We have great conversations, make each other laugh, great sex, and good communication throughout the day when we're at work (within reason, we both can't have our phones at work).
The challenge (and it's an intriguing challenge, to me, as I haven't encountered this before and I'd like to grow/learn from this situation) is when she isn't as gregarious or responsive as she can be. She will become very quiet, disengaged, and unresponsive. She'll eventually "come back" and then it's fine; however, as a chatty Cathy I have found myself having to pull information from her. I'm starting to get better at recognizing when she's in an introverted mood, so I generally wait for her to engage when that's the case.
There aren't any major issues or red flags with this relationship, so I'm seeking any advice, similar experiences, or words of wisdom from everyone. Thanks! | GF is introverted and will occasionally be in her own place for a while. Extroverted me wonders if there's anything I can do better. |
t3_telbv | relationships | HELP!! We both see that we are falling apart and if we don't change something we won't be able to fix it. | I don't know where to start. We both know that we're headed down the wrong path and we want to fix it, but we don't know where to start.
Some history: We have been dating for a little over a year and a half, 23 f & 34 m. We moved in together soon after we met. We lived together for about 4 months and then I moved out with a mutual friend. We consistently see each other every day. Neither of us are worried about infidelity. In the last year we have gone through a hell of a lot, both personally and as a couple.
When things are good, they are great. But when things are bad, they get really ugly. We go through periods of time that we get a long and times when we don't and I've noticed that a lot of the time it has to do with our personal stresses. We have both realized it. Sometimes we are both too needy and sometimes we are both too stand offish. Oh and we run a company together, which also gets involved in our relationship. We both love each other and we want to fix things. We just don't know what is wrong or what sets us off. We both can be very moody at times and it seems to be more frequent lately.
How do you fix something when you don't know what's broken? How do we stop ourselves from pushing each other away? Someone please help us because we don't know what to do. We just know something needs to be done. | We have been dating for a year and a half. Our relationship is falling apart and we don't know how to fix it? We don't even know what is causing us to push each other away. HELP?!?! |
t3_vds8h | relationships | Wife needs space and time...what to do? | Married for 12 years, together for 20. 2 kids (6 and 10). Normal marriage, not arguing, or aware of issues in the past, just the everyday stress or life. Wife says she does not feel the attraction she once did. And she feels like she does not have the opportunity to be herself. Finds joy in others (friends). She works from home part time and kids take up the rest apart from her time a gym and the nights with friends, mostly at house of one of the gym girls, they all gather there once a week.
Was not aware of how she felt, we do communicate well, but think she did not want to share this with me. Has felt for a few years, but only over the past year has she said she has started to distance herself emotionally in her head.
Longshot, but any advice? I am talking and sharing my feelings, and have said we should talk with a counsellor, which she says she can do, but I feel like all is lost, but want to work hard to keep what once (and what I thought still was) a special relationship. | Wife of 13 years has decided she needs space and time, no prior history of fighting or issues, guess I was blind to her unhappiness or incontenment...what to do? |
t3_2z7d9p | relationships | Me [22 F] with [25 M], not sure if I cut things off... | (I meant "not sure if I *should* cut things off". Oops.)
Incredibly long story short, this guy (let's call him John) and I have known each other for about three years now.
John's pretty much the ideal person I'd want to date. We always end up being extremely flirtatious and usually cuddly even, but as soon as he brings up the possibility of a relationship, I freak the flip out and run away.
This website describes philophobia (fear of falling in love) and says that "the symptoms can range from nervousness or restlessness in the presence of the opposite sex, to feelings of absolute dread at the prospect of meeting someone. In its most extreme cases, philophobia can cause full-blown panic attacks: sweating, irregular heartbeat, shortness of breath, nausea and an intense need to escape from the presence of the potential lover." It feels exactly like that. I absolutely panic.
I'm tired of hurting this guy, and I'm worried about my intense fear. If I can't figure out how to be in a relationship with someone like him, I don't know how I'm going to figure out being in a relationship with anyone at all. :( Halp. | Incredibly scared of a relationship with someone who I really like. Should I go for it despite being afraid or cut things off to stop hurting him? |
t3_3grb8l | jobs | I have been at my temp job for 3 months today, want to meet with my boss to see if I can get a timeline as to when I will know if it will be permanent, how can I word this?? | When I was hired it was for a new position just established and sort of a "try out" thing where they were wanting to see how much work would be coming in with the new changes the company was making. Basically they wanted to ensure that I would have enough work (40 hours a week) to justify keeping me on full time permanent. My boss upon hiring told me they just "didn't know yet" at the time since the changes had not yet been implemented, and it could be "about 3 months or so to see."
All good, so anyway... I'm here 3 months exactly today and I really really REALLY would like at least an idea of when I might know if this is going to be a permanent position. I just really want that security. I don't need the benefits as of yet because I am only 22 but this is possibly the best job I could ever hope to have in my industry (pays $10k more than any other similar position) and I love love love it. I've been getting great feedback and everyone treats me like a regular employee. Im invited to all events, blah blah and the other supervisor even mentioned a month or so ago that he had a feeling I'd be permanent soon.
But how can I bring this up to my boss? Im thinking I'll ask her if I can chat for a few minutes and then step in her office to start the convo. Should I just explain That it would be great to get a timeline or an idea of when I might know if this job will continue and transfer to permanent? What's the best way to ask this? | im a temp employee, been here 3 months and needs advice on how to word my request for an idea of when I'll know If i am permanent. |
t3_e7hsv | AskReddit | Reddit - can you help me create a very simple .bat file that will exit and reopen the explorer process in Windows? | So every time I take my laptop off my docking station at work Windows goes into conniptions and all my toolbars go ape shit (I have toolbars auto-hidden on the top, left and right hand side of the screen) and won't populate with their icons. The only solution I've found is manually going into the task manager and quitting explorer and then starting a new "explorer" task - this makes all the toolbars pop back up and my background resets to its normal size etc etc but it's really annoying and i figured there has to be some way to write a quick .bat file which will do the same thing. Any help? | need a .bat file capable of force-quitting explorer.exe and restarting the process. help is appreciated! |
t3_1yk1to | relationships | Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description | My boyfriend (M 22) and I (f 21)have never had problems with me going out to party. I went out with my girlfriend from my hometown to a club. For the first time ever, I drank myself a bit too silly. I puked. Anyway we got home, and I didn't make it past the front door. I literally slept there all night. My friend called my boyfriend for help. He refused to come over. Now he is angry because he said I ruined his night because he had to work in the morning. She didn't know what to do with me, and I was blacked right out. Do I have the right to think he is wrong? | Boyfriend is mad I drank and he was called to help me when they didn't know what to do? Am I wrong to think he should be concerned and want to come help? |
t3_2ph8ta | legaladvice | (US) Can He Be sued for using Character names? | Hi, I have a question about writing fan fiction and if legal action could be taken against the writer. My younger brother takes a creative writing class in school and for one of his short stories he wrote a story about a sub group in a card game (The Elemental Heroes from yugioh)
He made up just about every aspect of the story even, their human counter parts, but he is now worried that because he has become popular on the online community that he will soon run into issues with the creators of the card game. He has accepted no money for his stories nor does he claim to own the actual card game characters.
Can he be sued for using the card game characters, is what I guess I am asking? | Brother fears he can be sued for using card game characters for fan fiction, due to popularity. Is it true he would be? |
t3_2i2tfj | relationships | I [21 M] am confused on what to do with a family friend [17F] who I am attracted to and have been for 1.5 years | Okay, so first off we met 5 years ago when she joined my sisters year group at school. They became good friends and the two families became close. We've spent time together on holidays with family and have spent time hanging out at each others house, playing pc or ps3.
However, in the past year and a half I have become more and more attracted to her - I already know her very well personality wise and have known she'd get more attractive as she got older.
This is where I hit a snag - I am 4 years older than her and although that's not a big age gap, the fact I am 21 makes potentially awkward? She recently moved schools due to parent issues (divorce is messy) but I taught her sport for the last year. Because of our family history we were quite flirty jokey with each other, which upset her then boyfriend (who she has recently dumped as he turned stalkerish). I am naturally flirty with people I know who don't mind being flirty back and forth and generally know nothing would come of the flirting.
Recently though I feel like there has been a growing bond between us, more than friendship. I am also fairly sure she knows I like her. However, I am still unsure as to what to do; in part due to being very overweight (exercising more!) and having had depression for last 2 years after a series of trust issues and loss of life in family. | I am recovering from depression, overweight and confused as to how to act with a family friend who I am attracted to. |
t3_navao | AskReddit | When you were a kid, what did you do that you felt most horrible about? I'll start... | When I was little my friend had just gotten an awesome new toy (a little cat figure and its house) and I loved playing with it. I was playing with it at school and I forgot to give it back to her before she went home for the day. When I got home, my mom asked where I'd gotten it and I told her that my friend had given it to me, and never gave it back. For years I thought I was such a horrible person, that I was going to go to jail for stealing, etc. I got a huge wave of guilt every time I thought about it and I kept putting off admitting to it. Obviously years later I realize it wasn't the life-ruining crime I thought it was. | friend let me borrow her toy. told mom it was mine and didn't give it back, i thought i was basically a felon. later realized not that big a deal. |
t3_cef6b | AskReddit | Help Reddit...I'm Creating a Universe. | Before anyone gets TOO excited, I basically want to create and record a rather small corner of a fictional universe in which I can write stories. I wanted to create the universe first and then write stories around the various planets, life forms, ethics, and belief systems of these sentient, and maybe non-sentient creations.
Basically, while I'm not very versed in complex extra-terrestrial biology, I need your help in creating a universe that is somewhat believable. For example, what other molecules can form "life". I know that we are carbon based, but are there any other atoms that can serve as a basis for life? If so, what would these organisms biological cycles be like. Also, unlike in multiple Star-Trek and Star Wars depictions, most planets would have very different gravities based on their size. If so, how would that influence the size of these organisms. If the sun of a particular system is a different color than our sun, how would that influence sight in the organisms in the surrounding planets? Is it possible to have senses other than the ones that we as humans have? If so, how would I describe that to a reader/ audience if we can't perceive it. All communication would not have to be auditory. What are other ways to communicate with the same versatility or more than speech. Also, could life form on gas giants?
Basically I just want to chronicle the existence of many different forms of life under varying circumstances. The big thing that ties these worlds together would be a multi-galaxy spanning peace keeping core (For comic book fans, think something similar to the green lanterns, but with more of a focus on the diversity of various incarnations of life and problems that could arise from almost unlimited interaction between them) | I want to make a fictional universe. Suggest all possible crazy yet scientifically plausible forms of life, planets, space anomalies, other sensory inputs, etc |
t3_1dvfh2 | relationships | I [M21] got blackout drunk and screamed at my girlfriend [F23] for no reason. | Ive been dating a girl for 4 months now and we have been great together. Im not really the romantic type, but this girl is the love of my life and i would do anything to make her happy. We have had nothing but great times, but about a week ago I got wasted, (possibly the drunkest I have ever been), and eventually started yelling at my gf in her room. The yelling was viscious, I was upset over some guy that she had an extremely light relationship with, they never kissed or had any romantic encounter aside from taking a nap together, who i knew to be physically abusive towards women. However this past between them has never really bothered me, but in my blacked out mind i went off on her after she mentioned his name and that he had hit another girl. I called her pathetic for once taking a nap with him (i know its ridiculous) and other names. I woke up the next day ashamed of what i had done, and i know it is a lame excuse but i truly dont rember saying what i said. I cannot stress how perfect we have been before this 3 minute outburst. We both say we still love eachother, and i do, but i cant help but feel different around her. I feel like i ruined everything. What should I do? | I got the drunkest i have ever been and screamed at my gf about her past, we are still together and in love but I feel like I have ruined our relationship. What should I do? |
t3_1h8b16 | relationships | I [18m] have issues with control that I know I learned sub-consciously from my mother. | So basicly, my entire life my mom has needed control. She needs to know where I am and what I'm doing at all times, even if that means I'm driving across the street from where I am at. I will be moving out of the house soon, I'm not worried about this relationship with my mom. I have learned to deal with it and found ways that I can work through or around it.
The problem is that my moms habits have become my own, and by this I mean I catch myself trying to control things with people that I know, especially those who I care about as more than just friends. About a month ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. It was a very unhealthy relationship, and I'm glad that it is over and I have moved on. However, I recently met someone that I have been crushing on pretty hard and went on a date with them, and already I have this urge to text them constantly and see what they're up to or where they're at and things like that.
I am very interested in possibly developing a relationship with this person depending on how things play out over the next few days. But I do NOT want to have this urge to have control, I want to be able to not text her for a day or two, and not have a panic attack wondering what's going on, because that is absolutely ridiculous.
What can I do to stop fretting over this? Are there groups or therapies I can go to that can help me with this? | I have control and worry issues taught to me by my mother. I worry way too much and have panic attacks about little things, especially concerning people. How can I get help? |
t3_15mfj2 | AskReddit | In the hospital after two days of no answers: REDDIT: help a very sick person out: has anyone travelled abroad and come back with something they didn't know how to treat or diagnose here? | I recently returned from Thailand with my fiancé. I had what I thought was food poisoning over there. I came home a week after that with stomach pain. That pain has progressed into a stabbing pain near my right kidney and every spot in my lower abdomen feels like I'm being punched with the littlest pressure.
I'm seriously doped out on morphine and my ultrasound and bloodwork came back normal, my urinalysis had bacteria in it but no white cells. I'm on antibiotics but after 48 hours there's no change and the 4mg morphine every 6 hours only helps for about three hours before the pain is back. | I am not asking for medical advice.* I am just wondering if anyone had come back with a foreign disease/infection or parasite that they couldn't figure out how to treat here. |
t3_4t3mbg | relationships | I [16M] am apologizing to my ex [15F] and i'm not sure what to say. | I was involved in a fast and turbulent relationship with a girl who I am still in love with now about a month and a half after we broke up. I'm not sure if why I acted the way I did, but I was clingly and manipulative to her.
I wasn't justifying it in my head I just kept denying myself that I was. after she broke up with me there was lots of fighting and social media blocking and drama. Today I was looking through my previous texts with her and I came to the horrible realization that I was like one of those boyfriends on the commercials where they warn teen girls about abusive relationships. I felt so horrible I cried harder than I ever have in my entire life.
In a perfect world I would apologize to her and we would get back together and live happily ever after. I'm not saying it's not possible either but I don't expect it to happen. However I need to apologize to make sure that she understands that she was completely in the right and that breaking up with me was the right descision. If another guy acts like I did towards her I need to know that she will do something about it and not apologize and feel guilty when she shouldn't.
I came up with a draft of how to tell her this. Please give your input on how I might revise it to make my point better.
"I was looking through texts.....and i'm so sorry for what I put you through. I didn't even realize how clingy and horrible I was being, I was always asking where you were and what you were doing every second of everyday. and whenever you would say something about it I would act all sad and make you feel guilty and shitty.....I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am. Looking at the texts I feel like a criminal.....I won't try to sugarcoat it I exploited you, I used the fact that you would feel bad if I was sad and I abused it......I'm gonna be blunt and say that forgiveness would be nice, but it's an afterthought. What's important to me now is that you don't feel any guilt for breaking up with me because it was the right descision." | I'm putting a lot of thought into an apology text or maybe I might even tell her personally. please give your input on how I should revise it above. |
t3_rw7cp | relationships | When does sexual history matter? | I'm really on the fence about this one. I'm 34m dating a 30f for just over 6 months.
I used to work with her at another job (I didn't date her then). I left about 3 years ago but she still works there. She's been open about almost everything, but the other day we were texting and I flippantly said, "I don't want to know who you've banged at work". Her response was that she didn't feel comfortable talking about it. I think I had some normal feelings in response to that.
The truth is I don't want to know details and who because it doesn't matter. The past is the past and I'd just rather not know. After thinking about it however it bothers me a little because a) she hangs out with a LOT of work friends and b) there are some people there that I know fairly well.
I guess half of me wants to ignore it and the other half simply wants to tell her that if it's someone that somewhat frequently see when I hang out with them or if it's someone she hangs out with a lot then I'd rather know.
I have trust issues (cheated on repeatedly, haha) and I know there's danger that it will make me feel pretty uncomfortable. What I think would be more upsetting though is finding out down the road. I don't want to be in the dark about her previous relationships with people she frequently hangs out with (or that I do too). I don't want surprises and want to know who it is I'm with. | I am aware that sexual history is a private matter, but should some of that be disclosed when there are mutual friends? |
t3_w6376 | relationships | My boyfriend is considered the "hot/cute one" in the relationship. How do I deal with the insecurity of being publicly perceived as less attractive than him? | My boyfriend [21/m] and I [20/f] have been together for almost five months. I am his third relationship and he is my first. I say that he's considered the hotter/cuter one because numerous people have mentioned that I "did well", and some of my friends have complimented me on how attractive he is. He has a reputation for being the "hot RA" where he works on campus at our school. Family friends have mentioned to my mom about how handsome he is after seeing my profile picture on Facebook of us together. One even thought he was a mannequin/statue when she saw us dressed in Western-style clothing in an old timey picture!
As for me, I've always had trouble with my body image, having struggled with my weight nearly all my life. The first time a boy ever told me he liked me (freshman year of high school), I quite literally burst into tears because I was happy yet could hardly believe it was possible. Sometimes I look at my boyfriend and ask myself, "How in the world did I manage to catch this piece of delicious man meat???" He of course is the sweetest guy ever and always comments on how beautiful and cute I am, etc. But no matter how happy he makes me, there is that underlying feeling of insecurity because I can't help being paranoid about what other people think; i.e. "How did HE end up with HER?" As well as the fear of him waking up one day and suddenly realizing that maybe I'm not so great of a catch, because he technically could get a hotter girl.
I don't want to seem like I'm whining, but it is an underlying fear of mine, as if this happiness that I feel in finally being with someone who feels the same way towards me can only be fake--because I don't deserve it, because I'm not pretty enough. Ultimately, I just want to avoid allowing my insecurities to dampen our happiness together, because we do get along so very well. | Everyone seems to think my boyfriend is hotter than me. How do I get past my own inexperience and insecurities and just be content with only what my boyfriend thinks about my looks, and not care about everyone else? |
t3_10fo6c | relationships | I dont know how to make up my mind... | I have been dating this absolutely wonderful girl for about 2 and a 1/2 years. I am in my late 20's and she is in her early 30's. We get along really good, trust each other a lot and very rarely fight. We have set a date to move in together in a little over a month from now but I have had a lot of things on my mind that I cant seem to find an answer to. Just for the record, I do love this girl and the last thing I want to do is hurt her but my overall happiness has been declining over the past few months because these things are always on my mind... So here we go...
I have been having these consistent urges to date other woman. It's not because she doesn't make me happy but I think it's because I want to make sure she's the one I should be with for the rest of my life. I cant answer the question of is this girl I want to spend the rest of my life with or is this just a girl I could probably have a decently happy and livable marriage with. I cant remember me ever telling my self yup this is the one, no doubt about it. My friends all lover her, my family loves her, she has a great job, shes a great person and a ton of other great qualities but for some reason it seems like everyone else is sure I should marry her but me.
It has been eating me alive to the point of it's starting to effect our relationship. My desire to have sex with her has dropped dramatically, I am becoming unaffectionate and distant. On one hand I want to find out if there might be someone else who I get that feeling of yup she's def the one and on the other do I throw this away only to realize what I had was the best I am gonna find. I just don't know what to do. | Dont know if this is def. the girl I should marry and have urges to date other woman at the same time she's a great girl and am worried about throwing it away and she's the best Ill ever get. |
t3_27vfi1 | relationships | I [20M] have a date with her [18F] today. It's supposed to rain, what should I do? | I've known her for a couple of years now, and we've always had feelings for one-another, but it's always been bad timing. We're out of the awkward "getting to know each other" phase, but this will be the first time we've hung out with each other outside of work.
I originally planned on taking her to lunch, and then going on a hike. Depending on how that went, I was going to take her to see a movie, and then watch the sunset at the beach after. Now, it's supposed to rain. I want our first date to be memorable; taking her out to lunch and then inviting her back to my place to watch movies doesn't really fit the bill. We live in a small town, so options are really limited. Any suggestions on how I can make the best of it? | First date with girl today and it's now supposed to rain. I wanted the first date to be memorable, unsure of what to do now. |
t3_4zjw6n | relationships | I've [21 F] been living with my emotionally abusive boyfriend [21 M] 2 years, but can't seem to save enough money to leave. | My boyfriend and I have lived together for 2 years. We moved together to new york at 19, and then moved back to his hometown upstate (5 hours from my family) in december of last year. I have no family in this area, am going to college (can't live on campus with my three cats), share a boss with him, and am living on about 150$ per week. My parents can help me with small amounts of money - gas, a grocery gift card - but not large amounts.
My boyfriend is generally goofy and fun. We don't have sex, we don't cuddle, but we hang out and tell stupid jokes and sleep in the same bed. When the goofiness gives way to him being embarrassed, angry, disappointed i didn't do the chores 'the right way', or especially drunk, he has always been emotionally abusive. He says horrible things to me until I cry and then makes fun of me for crying. His eyes turn cold and he becomes so hateful.
I am certain he's a sociopath. I told myself that the next time this happened, I would leave, and it did. So I'm ready. I planned on my parents being able to help me with the down payment on a studio apartment, as a loan I would pay back.
Unfortunately they're unable to help me, and I can't seem to save enough to leave in time. I'm worried if I have to wait another month - even with a second job, I can't save enough yet, and I'm about to start another semester of school - I will get fooled into staying again.
I'm frightened if I don't leave now, I'll never leave. But I just don't have the means, I have to go to college every day starting in a week, and I can't abandon my animals to live on campus. My parents can't help me. Can anyone give me any advice? | My boyfriend is abusive and my family can't help me move out. How do I get out on my own before I somehow get fooled into staying again? |
t3_4fq28q | relationships | I [21F] was my FWB's [22M] other woman without knowing it | So about six months ago, I met a very attractive guy online through my university's study abroad forum (our universities are partners and we were going on exchange to each other's schools). We started chatting, quickly hit it off, skyped occasionally, and texted constantly. It was very casual and we never met in person, but we did sext quite a bit.
However, he would not accept my Facebook or Instagram requests and something felt a little fishy. After a bit of snooping, I figured out that he has a girlfriend. I was feeling pretty humiliated and upset, so I took a couple hours to think it over. After collecting myself, I told him that I had found out about his girlfriend and that I was not comfortable continuing our relationship. I cut off contact, but I still feel quite guilty about the whole situation. I never bothered to delete the kik messages and still have them on my phone. Am I responsible for telling his girlfriend or am I off the hook on this one? | Found out a guy I was casually sexting with for months has a girlfriend. It is my responsibility to contact her or can I just let this go? |
t3_36hxly | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [24M] of 5 months. I have been so irritable lately and it isn't fair to him. | I'll start by saying I am fairly confident my irritability has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with my own stress and insecurities. I've had this issue in a relationship before. After we broke up I realized it was a problem and told myself I would stop it from happening in the future.
We've always playfully picked on each other. He'll tell me I'm a bad driver or joke about my cooking because something is always undercooked or just plain gross. Silly stuff that has never bothered me before. But lately when I'm tired or just generally stressed, I'll snap at him for this stupid stuff. I can tell he is really starting to get annoyed with it. Usually I know I'm just being irrational but I can't stop it in the moment.
He has always jokingly said that he was going to "swap me out" one day which has always kind of made my insecure red flag go up, but I've always just brushed it off. Lately I've been getting upset to the point he can tell something is bothering me. I explained that it hurt my feelings and he was super understanding and said he was joking but he would stop.
I do love him and don't want to drive him away. I just can't figure out what has changed over the past few weeks that has made me so cranky with him. I know this is all something I need to work on within myself. I obviously need to learn to cope with my insecurities and stress without taking it out on him.
Do any of you have this issue? And if so, what have you done to work on yourself? | I've been irritable lately and it's getting on my boyfriend's nerves since he's done nothing wrong. Need advice to cope with stress and insecurity without taking it out on him. |
t3_4kjfjr | relationships | I [20F] Found Out My Little Brother [14M] Has a Girlfriend | I found texts between my little brother and some girl, and there were I love yous and stuff like that. He didn't tell me he had a girlfriend or anything like that, and usually he comes to me for advice about anything and I feel kind of upset that he didn't tell me he had a girlfriend. This is his first, and I don't really know what to do or how to talk to him about it. I'd want to have atleast been able to meet her before letting him date her, do you guys think I should bring this up to him and ask if she can come over some time and I could meet her or something? I care a lot about my boyfriend and I want to know that she's not a bad person, and also I'm sure it would be easier for them if our family knew of their relationship so they wouldn't have to be hiding it. I don't want him to have a girlfriend yet but I don't want to tell him that and make him upset or something. I know here in US it's maybe considered normal to date at that age but my family's from South America and are very conservative/religious. I'm also really worried about them potentially making out or doing something sexual with each other, or if she hurts him or something. What should I do? | I found out my little brother has a girlfriend and I don't know how to talk to him about it without seeming intrusive. I'm really worried about him and I don't think he's ready to have a girlfriend. |
t3_qgu1r | AskReddit | I have a LOT of BRAND NEW clothes I want to donate to other countries, where do I start? | Background story. I have my own clothing line and a screen printing business. Many times our prints wouldn't pass our quality requirements. This leaves us with a lot of unworn perfect t-shirts, jackets, sweatpants etc. with just a slight mistake in the printed design. Although we want to donate it to those who needs it the most, we decided its better for the company to not donate to local thrift stores to prevent our messed ups from appearing in public since it does have our logo/ name on it (bad rep you know?). We literally have over hundreds articles of brand new clothing just sitting around. I am also currently a full time college student and am too busy to look around. I live in US South California- Los Angeles Area. Does anyone know any charity that I can arrange pick up with? I don't have a preference in which country to donate to. | Own a clothing brand and have a lot of clothes with minor printing mistakes that can't be sold. Want to donate to other countries to protect our reputation in US. I live in SoCal Los Angeles area. |
t3_469m5d | relationships | Me [25M] Struggling with thoughts after breakup? | I just broke up with my girlfriend of over 2 years looking for advice. Im struggling with the thought of my ex being the best I could ever get. I know deep down I will be happier with someone else, but in the back of my mind i'm scared I wont find someone i'm as physically attracted to (not trying to sound shallow). The other thing on my mind is me losing my ability to be caring and trusting in future relationships. In my last relationship I was lied to and sneaky things went on behind my back this kind of stuff seems to common now days and worries me. Im not a "bad boy" i'm a sincere genuine dude, pretty easy going and it just seems the nicer or better I treat girls the shittier they treat me or walk over me? My friends told me i'm too available and don't create "want", but I don't want to change and come off as someone who has better shit to do just for girls to like me. | How can I believe there is a better person out there for me that I can trust? Can I continue to be genuine or will my heart continue to get stomped by pirate hookers and scorpion women? |
t3_1xkhxs | pettyrevenge | Online board game revenge! | I've been playing this turned-based board game on the iPad, playing against random strangers. Basically you make your move and then wait for the other player to make theirs. They may make the move immediately, or days later. Doesn't matter as you can have multiple games going at once. Sort of like "words with friends" but not a word game, and by a much smaller, indie developer.
Anyway the game is kinda rough around the edges. No way to nudge the opponent if they are taking too long. No forced forfeits. In fact if one player doesn't make a move for a week, the game automatically cancels.
Well I played this one girl (Well, her icon was female. Other than that I know nothing about her, we never exchanged chats.)
I won -- which earned me experience and I leveled up, even though levels are really pointless in the game. But she wanted a rematch. Fine.
We ended up playing 5-6 games in a row. I won them all, and she kept asking for a rematch. The last game I was ahead by 40 points or so. That is a LOT in this game.
So she stopped playing. No moves for days on end.
Assuming she was going to let the game forfeit, I sent another game request.
Today, the last game auto-forfeited and she finally accepted the new match.
I could have easily won the game. I played like a moron, keeping the game artificially close until the last few moves where I let her gain a massive 30+ point lead.
When we got to the last few tiles, I stopped playing. This was about 10 mins ago.
I think I'll be back in a week or so. After the match auto-forfeits.
Muahajahahjahahhahaah | girl allows an online game against me to forfeit instead of taking a loss, so I pretended to let her win a rematch and have now stopped the game. It will auto-forfeit in a week. |
t3_53hedm | relationships | Me [15M] think I might have some sort of OCD due to abusive father. | Sorry if this is the wrong sub, wasnt sure where to post it.
My father has been emotionally and physically abusive for as long as i can remember, my mother left him 3 years ago and I refuse contact with him.
After we moved we started going to this mental health hospital regularly as my brother, sister, mum and myself were all diagnosed with anxiety due to the abuse. A psychologist also said I showed some symptoms of PTSD.
I feel the need to always be chewing something, whether it be plastic bottles, pens, gum, or even my mouth which then develops into ulcers. I did a bit of research and what I found said it could stem from anxiety and feeling lie i need to regain control, which i think could be correct.
I don't know who to talk to about this, it really is worrying me as I am chewing my cheeks and lips a lot now and they usually bleed and I chew my nails non stop. We had a coucillor at school that just retired and we now dont have one, would the coucillor of been the right person to talk to? | I think i may of developed some sort of oral form of OCD from abusive father, who do i talk to or how can i control it? |
t3_34kqfd | relationships | Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] 3 years, moved into my childhood home | My girlfriend and I were living together in a college town 45 mins from where we currently live. We lived downtown and were surrounded by other young people.
We recently moved into my childhood home with the intention of buying after 6 month, if we liked it, else it will go on the market to someone else.
Ever since we moved in she has complained how she hates it here and is unhappy here. She also complains that my parents are always over here, though this is rarely the case and only to do landlord things (e.g. fixing electrical issues, relighting the pilot light, etc.) Though other days she'll say how the house is growing on her.
She is depressed (clinically?) and has said that she isn't sure if moving back would really make her happy about everything. | Girlfriend is unhappy with the where we are living now and wants to move back, but if we did and she was still unhappy I would be incredibly resentful for giving up my childhood home just so she could be unhappy somewhere else. |
t3_395a0r | relationships | My crush [21f] invited me [20m] out to a movie and dinner alone but she's in a relationship... Should I go or call it off? | * | My crush invited me out to dinner and a movie alone but she's in a relationship. I don't know if I should go or not. |
t3_xbxkk | relationship_advice | GF is letting herself go hardcore, how do i convince her to take better care of herself? | basically this is my situation:
when i first started dating my gf 3 years ago she was about 80lbs lighter that she currently is. She was beautiful, and i loved going out in public and showing her off, but alas, that is not so now.
What happened was she went away to college and we survived for 2 years on a long distant relationship (fairly well might i add), but she didnt take very good care of herself while she was there. Now that she is back she has super low self esteem, and cant doesnt put any effort to get back into shape and lose weight. I am at my wits end reddit... I love this girl, what we have goes beyond a physical connection, but the problem is, me as a person needs that physical connection. I love my GF but im not attracted to her anymore, and im not sure what to do. I would love to get her to work out more and whatnot but im not sure how to do it
any advice? | GF went away to college, came back 80lbs heavier, with little to no self-esteem, and no desire to lose weight, although i love her emotionally im not attracted to her physically anymore |
t3_l03yx | AskReddit | What would you do in this situation? | First off, I'm only 17, so I'm not old by any standards. Last year, when I was a junior, I met a girl. I'll leave names out due to privacy but Lets call her Sally. At first I didn't really think I liked her but within a month we both knew we really did. We dated for a while but were lacking a certain kind of spark, at the time. We hung out on New Years Eve and we were alone for a while and the only thing that got kissed was my dog on the nose. That was like 6 weeks into the relationship. We didn't feel like it was working so we decided to break it off. But neither of us felt it was really over. From there we proceeded to on and off like each other at the wrong times. Then came a large series of mistakes that I made. It started with when we were getting close, I had sex with another girl. It was wrong and I shouldn't have done it, but I did. Even after that, she was willing to take me back at one point. It just happened to be the exact point in time where I decided maybe it wasn't a good idea. From that point on she really had a tough time even being my friend. And then over the summer, we had a couple flings and never anything serious. By the time school came around, she had tried moving on completely. I've decided that she's the only girl I want right now and don't know how to even begin to start getting her back. We talk frequently but she's tentative to hang out and talk alone. I've asked for advice from almost everyone I can go to, so I figured Reddit might be able to help. | I've been in love with a girl for a long time and I messed up enough that she's really tentative to begin even a new friendship. What do I do? |
t3_mgfj0 | AskReddit | What kind of things do you love about your SO/child/friend that you should probably actually be worried about | Tonight I was going to meet my boyfriend at a coyote ugly style bar near our house after I got out of class at 730. He was up there meeting a client which he does every other Thursday, but this particular client thinks it's fun to get me and him and his assistant to drink as much as possible.
So I call him when I'm headed that way. No answer. Call again. No answer. Call the bar, "hey this is Derpina, is Derp there?" "No, the manager drove him home. He got a little rambunctious."
I get home and he's passed out drunk. So I take off his jeans and jump in bed with him to cuddle. ^_^ he's so cute when he's wasted. | boyfriend got wasted at a dinner meeting and had to get driven home before 7 pm. Possibly a sign of alcoholism, but it's so damn cute when he's drunk! |
t3_2gd7wi | relationships | I [19 M] messed up and missed a great opportunity to ask out my crush [17F], not sure what to do now | So I've been into this girl for like 5-6 months now and until this past month she had a boyfriend. I'm not really good at reading people but we do have some really nice, long conversations and she has made the effort to hit me up or invite me places lately so I think there may be at least a little interest there
Yesterday I spent a really awesome day with her and one other friend and at the end of the night had the opportunity to driver her home alone. Not entirely sure how to ask her out (sometimes when I talk plans go out the window and I start rambling like an idiot) and I guess fear of rejection had me clam up and just get lost in our normal conversation. Next thing I know we're at her house and she's gone.
The next morning I'm kicking myself hard cause I'm not sure if she thinks that was a missed opportunity and thinks I don't like her. I'm definitely not going to see her again for at least a week so I'm not sure whether I should cop out and ask her out via text and have it come out exactly how I want or just wait until next time I see her and hope she's still interested and that I have more courage next time. | Had the perfect opportunity to ask out crush but clammed up, not sure whether to ask her out via text or wait until the next time I see her. |
t3_3cme2q | tifu | TIFU by dodging at champ select so my friend can join. | So I play this rageful game which is called League of Legends. In a normal match you can have 5 people on your premade team. I asked all my friends to come and play, I only got three to join (4 total). So I went into champ select and then my friend messaged me that he wanted to play. Yay! a full 5 team. So I dodged at champ select to invite hime (where you pick your champs and you'll be penalize if you leave the game.). I tried to rejoin but it was now FULL. Earlier in the lobby I asked this girl to join but she was like NOOOOO. But because my friend joined she joined. So now I have a 10min penalty time and now I have no one to play with. | left a game so i can have all my friends to play a video game, a dumb bitch took my spot and now I play alone T_T |
t3_tihpv | AskReddit | What's the worst thing you've ever done to a significant other that haunts you to this day? | I was casually dating an awesome woman right around the time I turned 24. She's my age, very attractive, has her Master's, six-figure salary, and working towards her PhD. Before I knew it, things turned serious between us.
Around the same time, she had an opportunity come up for a promotion out of state and she was going to take it. I had some thinking to do: follow the catch of a lifetime and leave everything I know, or stay where I am and wonder what might have happened?
She took the promotion and moved. I decided to vacation with her to see how I liked it. I'm falling for this woman, she's awesome in every conceivable way. The city is great for a bunch of different reasons. I can easily have another job lined up with equal or greater pay. I was pretty much sold.
One problem: I am half retard; completely retarded, actually. I cheated on her. More than once, and more than I care to admit. She found out; relationship is done.
Two years running this still haunts me. She's in my dreams roughly every other day; dreams that fuck up my sleep. I can't get over what I did to her. | Had the catch of a lifetime, but cheated on her more times than I can count. She still haunts my dreams two years later and I can't get it out of my head. |
t3_31a415 | relationships | crying whenever boyfriend is a little snappy | me (23f) bf (26m)
I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over 8 months now. He's always been incredibly sweet and kind but lately he seems a little snappy. It often makes me tear up a bit, though I have yet to let him see because he often seems very sad when he realizes that he's does something that hurts my feelings.
I've asked him recently if there is anything I could work on and he said that no, I'm perfect. We are VERY open with each other, so this leads me to believe that he's telling the truth. We've never fought or argued and I really want to keep it that way.
His snappiness just really worries me because I love him and don't want our relationship or happiness to degrade. I'm going to try and talk about it with him soon. Am I being over sensitive with tearing up from him just being a little snappy? I guess I'm just scared. My ex was incredibly mean and I don't want him to turn out the same.
Another thing is that we almost NEVER have sex...we used to a lot and now it's maybe once or twice a month I think | I cry whenever my boyfriend is a little snappy. It's a sudden change in his demeanor. I'm really scared of the relationship going badly. |
t3_cc672 | books | I need to diversify my reading. I'm looking for a list of books to catch up to the level of someone who can talk about literature and not feel like an idiot. | I am a huge geek, but I have recently come to realise that I cannot talk to people about literature or films, because I focus my attention on tiny portions of each.
Can someone point me towards a list of great books, which will give me a valuable experience? By that I mean, I don't like reading books for the sake of reading them. Many people I know go on and on about how they love X Y and Z, but that means they have watched or read it once just so they can say they have. I want to be one of those people who talks about books and films in an honest and intelligent way.
I don't want to fight with the language or have to go and read explanations after the fact. I just want to read some damn good classics. I hate having the choice between looking like an uneducated moron and being a charlatan.
It might be worth mentioning that I didn't attend any school where reading was encouraged, and my family think reading is for fags. I have honestly never read books that many of you would consider school assignment classics. I have escaped through shit pipe and now find myself surrounded by well-read and intelligent people for the first time in my life. I thought it would be great until I realised that all through my life I have been taught how to be a lazy, lying son of a bitch. I literally have nothing to offer in conversation, unless it is about a handful of book or films. | I was brought up a charlatan and now I want to actually read the books I was told to claim I had read. |
t3_2ekxkd | relationships | Me [19 F] gf broke up with me [22 M] and wants to just be friends. | We met just over 4 months ago and had officially been dating for 2 and a half months (went on quite a few dates the first month and a half). Things had been going well or so I thought. Last week she told me she was to busy with school and didn't want to be in a relationship any longer and wanted to take "a break".
She kept saying it was nothing I did but that she didn't have the same feelings for me as I did for her and she wants to just focus on school. She also said I annoyed her by always asking her if she wanted to do anything. I didn't expect us to hangout everyday but whenever there was a chance she might be free I would usually ask her if she wanted to hangout.
She mentioned she would love for us to remain friends and when I asked her if we could ever be more than friends she said "Yes maybe in the future but I can't promise anything". Over the weekend we texted each other as if nothing had change. I haven't texted her today as I know she is pretty busy with school and want to give her some space. I still have strong feelings for her and don't want to give up on her because she did say she could see us being more then friends again in the future.
This was the first adult relationship for the both of us and that's why I think I feel so strongly about her since I had never really had someone like her in my life before. I think she just wasn't ready for a relationship at the moment since she is still younger and I don't want to give up on her at least not until after trying to get back to where we were. | GF broke up with me (she called it "taking a break") to focus on school and work. She wants to remain good friends at least for now. What should I do. |
t3_nnabc | AskReddit | Why don't we have a tab to sort threads by those with the most daily comments? | There are a lot of great threads and great conversations that never see the light of day by 90% of Reddit because they simply aren't voted high enough. I could be wrong, but I suspect most people are upvoting on the quality of the link or post and not or rarely on the quality of the converstion. I don't know about you guys, but the discussion here is my favorite part of the site. If we had a tab up with Hot, New and Controversial, something like What's Buzzing, for threads with lively discussion based on comment count, it'd be easy for everyone to find these great threads. I think it'd be a great add to the site. | What do you guys think about adding a tab for threads with the most comments, to easily find tabs with great discussion? |
t3_47n662 | relationships | I'm [33M] no longer enjoying being intimate with my sensitive gf [28F], how do I breakup? | I [33M] have a great relationship with my girlfriend [28F] on an emotional level, however I don't enjoy being intimate with her at all any more. We've been together for 18 months. Recently I've started to feel very guilty about my lack of desire for intimacy with her.
She is quite sensitive and I know she would be devastated if I told her I no longer find her attractive in that way. I know I need to break up with her, but I will feel like an asshole if I tell her exactly how I'm feeling. What is the best way to break it to her? Do I have to just have to suck it up and be completely honest? | Need to break up with my emotionally sensitive gf since I no longer feel sexually attracted to her; but unsure if I should be honest about my reasons or make it softer somehow? |
t3_4jg5fg | legaladvice | Husband has kiddie porn. Need to end marriage and get sole custody. | My husband and I have a 16-month-old son. Ever since he was born, our marriage has been awful. I've been waiting for my husband to become a father but he's proven to be completely incapable of raising a child. He's loving when he's around our son, but he does nothing to help care for him and when he's been left alone with him he has been damn near neglectful (not changing his diaper in 6 hours, letting him sleep on the couch in nothing but a diaper even though he's cold, not feeding him at all, etc.) I pay for everything for our son, and my husband has never been to a pediatrician appointment, despite the fact that our son has had a serious ongoing health issue.
I hate how he's treating me. I have to constantly beg for some help caring for our son, and my husband seems to think that I'm just a constantly unhappy person and he has told me he has "stopped trying to make me happy." He rarely listens to me when I speak, or flat out ignores me when I ask him questions.
I've been contemplating divorce for almost a year now -- I have often thought it would be easier to do this on my own at this point -- but I can't bare the thought of him having any kind of custody because of how unsafe and neglectful he is around our son.
Yesterday I discovered an SD card with several hundred photos of young girls. I know there are sites that use 18-year-olds and dress them up to appear younger, but I'd say that at least half of the images are of girls who are undeniably younger than 14.
I don't know what to do other than find a lawyer and get out. I'm debt free, but I don't make all that much. We live in a house he owns and his mother watches our son for free three days a week. I'm scared that I don't make enough to afford rent and childcare. And I'm scared to live in the same city as my husband if I am able to get sole custody.
What do I do. | My husband is a neglectful parent and I found a bunch of kiddie porn on an SD card. Help me get my son away from this guy. |
t3_2xzv43 | tifu | TIFU by telling a blind person to follow a colourful laneway to his destination | This just happened 10 minutes ago and fuck I feel like a massive dick. So university just started up again and my body isn't quite used to study mode yet. My classes just finished for the day and I was super ready to go home and just nap. Unfortunately, there is construction happening around my uni this year and to help people get around, my university has put down a coloured laneway sticker thing so people can find their way around the detour routes. On my way down the stairs on the colourful detour I came across a blind person. He asked an elderly couple in front of me where the Library was. They didn't know. As the friendly person I am, who did register that this person was blind, kindly said; 'Just keep following this coloured pathway that you're on and you'll get there easy.'
Instant regret.
Realising the stupid thing that just came out of my mouth and being the also awkward person I am said; 'Oh, wait, don't worry!' and continued my way down the stairs, covering my mouth in disbelief of my stupidity. I then looked behind me and noticed about 2 to three other people looking at me in disapproval.
Fucking kill me. | Told a blind person with a cane to follow a colourful laneway that he obviously can not see, embarrassment follows. |
t3_269ws3 | relationships | Got brotherzoned and made her angry...? | I confessed my feelings to this girl over Facebook and she said that she saw me as a brother. At first, I was kinda depressed for a few minutes, but I grew as a person.
The first few days, it was super awkward but we became closer friends and I'm glad we did.
~Fast forward a a week
We went to a few parties and I (normally) would stay close to her and talk to her (before confession). Now, I just choose a girl, and hang with her the entire party (kind of ignoring my crush).
A few days later, we were on Skype and I asked about a girl (not from the girls i partied with). She told me to shut up for 10 times. I asked why and she said I made her angry. I tried to ask for more info but she told me to shut up.
Confused??? | Confessed to a girl, brother zoned me, everything back to normal, went to a few parties, partied hard with girls at the party while crush is there. |
t3_170lx2 | relationships | How can I [19F] avoid/stop hanging out with somebody [18M] I don't really want to be friends with? | I am a freshmen in college. There is this one guy who I've kind of ended up being friends with who has ended up sort of in my circle of friends, that I really don't like. I feel like an awful person because theres nothing specifically wrong with him, he just does a lot of annoying things. He's heavily extroverted and always wants to hang out and chatters endlessly when we're all eating together, but as an introvert I tend to find this annoying and exhausting. He doesn't do anything specifically bad, its just little things like never shutting up, chewing with his mouth open, waking me up with text messages, being generally immature, etc.
I find myself preferring to be alone rather than hanging out with him (my circle of friends is neutral on him but agree that he can be annoying) but I don't want to hurt his feelings. I just don't know how to avoid him. For example, he just texted me asking if I want to have dinner in the dining hall with him. I'm really tired already and he's tiring enough to be with that really don't want him to completely deplete my energy and ruin my mood. But I don't know what to text back. | I'd really rather not be friends with this guy, but I don't know how to gently get him to leave me alone because I don't want to hurt his feelings. |
t3_uffxe | AskReddit | I was 'The Other Woman', how do I apologize? | Two years ago I got out of a relationship, at that time my ex from a long time ago contacted me. He was my first love from high school and he disappeared (I never really got over it). When he contacted me he was living alone by himself and wanted to catch up with me and smooth things over. Turns out at that time his wife was living in another state and was her family.
When I found out he was married I tried to friend zoned him. We still spoke on the phone and his wife found out and they had a big fight over it. He tells me after wards that they were getting a divorce.
He came to my state to visit his family and we saw each other. We did NOT have sex, but we did mess around. It was stupid, I should of waited till he was officially divorced. We kept talking and talked about out ex's (well his soon to be) and we were in love blah blah blah
One day he stopped replying to my emails and phone calls. I thought he vanished again. Three months later his wife emails me. Turns out there NEVER was going to be a divorce and he was just using me since he wasn't 'getting attention'. In her email his wife told me to never ever try to contact him or his family. I stopped all contact and blocked him on FB and such. Six months later she emails me again telling me to stop talking to her husband. (I wasn't, I guess he found another girl)
SO! It's been over a year and I still feel terrible for messing around with a guy who was still married (I knew he was still married and 'wasn't divorced yet') I want to apologize to his wife for being a scum bag but don't know if I should email her or just go die in a fire. I don't even know what to say to her that would ever make her feel some what better. | Hooked up with my ex, turns out he was NOT getting a divorce, wife told me to go jump off a cliff, should I apologize and how? |
t3_4s95bu | relationships | I [20M] have been seeing a lovely [20F] girl. Mutual interest in dating ... and she has a sugar daddy. How do I approach this? | Hey there r/relationships,
Hope you all are having a lovely day. I met a girl that I find to be very interesting and compatible with me. Similar interests, views, pretty much all the good stuff I look for in a girl I'd like to date. We have been on two 'real' dates now, and they have gone great! She even told me the first date was the best first date she'd ever been on! (we ended up skinny dipping which was pretty steamy :D )
I was introducing her to my dogs the other day after going fishing with her, and setting off some fireworks in the lake. Pretty fun. As you can see, we are getting along super well. Then she let me in on a secret.
She confided in me that she has a sugar daddy. Actually, a few. She apparently finds them on some website. These guys are married. I really HATE the kind of guy who looks to pay for this sort of thing, looking to fuck younger girls behind their respective wive's backs. Seriously, FUCK those guys.
I know that the girl I have been talking to attends an expensive private college, so I see how she may need to do this to procure tuition. Obviously, it does make me uncomfortable. But then I think: I would be doing the same thing if I were some young pretty girl; the potential monetary gains are surely worth the morally unsound activity.
Would it be unreasonable to ask her to stop? I guess I could be OK with it given time, but the reality of the situation is that I am a jealous guy. I don't like it one bit.
For the time being, I have told her that I am not judgemental towards this at all, and that I would do the same thing. It just does make me uncomfortable. I believe that she has hinted at stopping talking to those guys.
Do you all think this says anything about her character? Do you think she would be faithful in the future? I was cheated on in a previous relationship, and I am now a little paranoid about this. | Been seeing a girl who I am super duper compatible with, but she has a *few* sugar daddies |
t3_510yut | relationships | How do I [22/F] tell my FWB [24/M] that I want to stop because I have feelings for him? | r/relationships, I need your advice..
(I posted this to r/askmen but it was removed because new and/or throwaway accounts can't post apparently)
I've been in an FWB situation for about 3 months and it's been going well. We met because we work in the same industry and have quite a few mutual friends. We hang out, go to dinner, go to bars and sleep with each other. However, I think its time for me to end things because I am starting to have feelings for this guy. I have found a lot of advice on how to confess your feelings and try to make the transition into an actual relationship, but in my case, it is clear to me that he does not feel the same way I do. So, I'd like to just go back to being friends because I feel like continuing as FWBs will eventually make me feel jealous, unrequited love blah blah blah.
My question to you all is, how do I do this?
1.) I don't particularly want to embarrass myself by confessing all my feelings when I already know he doesn't feel the same way. Do I even need to tell him why I want to stop?
2.) I don't want to make him feel like this has anything to do with his personality, sex performance, etc. I don't have any problems with him.
3.) I want to ultimately remain friends. I think he is a good guy and we have a lot of mutual friends so I will have to see him around in the future anyway.
Thanks, all :) | I'm in a FWB situation where I am developing unrequited feelings and I want to stop the sex part without drama and the loss of my friend. |
t3_2v3c10 | relationships | Me [21M] feeling uncertain after first unofficial date with [21F] | So I have been talking to this girl over Facebook over the last month and regularly this past week and decided to ask her out to coffee.
I was really nervous before seeing her and was afraid that I wouldn't know what to say or hold a conversation with her.
Anyway I picked her up we went to coffee and it was really nice, we had heaps to talk about and the conversation flowed much better than I thought.
I think we both discovered that we have a few things in common but also a few differences in our likes and dislikes. I find her attractive but I am just uncertain after dropping her home.
I though I would be feeling really happy driving home but I felt so weird, almost like I didn't feel great but didn't feel bad. I was in a trance.
I've never had a serious relationship either so I'm not sure if that has anything to do with what I'm feeling.
I sort of sense that she might have a crush on me, as she texted me when I got home from dropping her off.
Are my feelings normal or what the hell is wrong with me? I guess I built up my emotions way to high before seeing her, it was nice but I just don't know how I feel.
Also this is a bit different to how I usually become attracted to women as I've developed this crush over texting (she went to my high school, we never talked and it's been 3 years since that). Does that have something to do with it?
Any advice would be great | Went out with this girl but unsure of how I feel (this could be my first relationship) is it all in my head? |
t3_3vky8c | tifu | TIFU by Rocking Out to The Killers as 4:45 a.m. | This happened like 10 minutes ago (It's 5 a.m. where I am), so just to set the mood, my day hasn't been too stellar, in fact, it might be the most shittiest day I've had during Winter Break. Anyways, so it was time for me to watch my daily, Xmas, charity livestream. They have a break in the middle of it so I open Spotify and listen to The Killers, my favourite band at the moment.
Now, just to be clear, Mr. Brightside is not my favourite Killers song, and after I tell the whole story you'll probably think I'm a fucking idiot and well, you're right.
I listen to Mr. Brightside and I'm really getting into it because it's really powerful and shit. I'm putting both headphones in and just silently singing the song, making sure no one wakes up.
I start to get really pumped and pull out my mic and start singing like I'm a 16 year old girl with my hairbrush in the shower like, super fucking energy. I even pull out my guitar and all is super ecstatic!
Now usually, I'll hear if my mum has waken up (I've developed good listening ears for this purpose) but this time I don't because both headphones are in, blasting Mr. Brightside at full volume. I'm like singing the song in my head, playing my guitar and then out of nowhere, scaring the living fucking soul out of me, my mum taps me on the shoulder asking me what the fuck I was doing with a mic and guitar out at 4:45 a.m. I immediately clean up and go to bed. Well, not yet anyways...
I'm gonna dread talking to my mum tomorrow, she'll probably tell my brother as well. Life just knows how to shit in your face doesn't it. Mhmm... | Was rocking out to The Killers at 4:45 a.m., my mum catches me in the act, feel like an absolute idiotic jackass. |
t3_cylbq | relationship_advice | 2nd month in our relationship, she has already mentioned twice that she doesn't love me... why? | I didn't bring it up at all. She is pretty withholding about her feelings sometimes so occasionally when we are talking about more personal stuff, I want to hear her share something more personal about herself, not just tell her what I think. Anyway I asked her, "did you know you are kind of withholding about your feelings? You should tell me more about yourself," and her answer to that was that she doesn't "love" me yet, that is why. I never expected her to say she loves me so early on the relationship, nor have I mentioned "love", so this was a little hurtful to hear, and confusing: did she really mean it that way? It was the second time she said that. Also she mentioned that I haven't said that I loved her yet, as if to explain her comment...? Its hard to get her to explain why she would say such a thing, maybe you guys can help interpret? | when I suggested she doesn't share a lot of her feelings with me, she explained it was because she doesn't love me yet, and I never mentioned love nor do I expect using the "L" word so early on. |
t3_2uclj5 | offmychest | I wished I was a Girl | Since I was about 12 I always fantasized about being a Girl, for a strange reason I am actually very ashamed about. I have always been a Sub Person, someone that, in my personal and sexual life, doesn't take the upper hand. Turns out being a Sub Male is very VERY frowned upon. All the Answers I could sneak out of my friends where sth similar to "That's not manly". Being a Female, having this mindset wouldn't really be THAT weird (compared to a male having it). Some might say "Well its only in your personal life, no one will know", ye you are right, but it seriously damage with my self-esteem ... I thought about switching Gender at one point but that would never work out the way I want it to. Finally I could get that off my Chest. | I want to be a Girl, because being submissive to your partner as a male is considered weird and unmanly in this society. |
t3_2xrlwu | askwomenadvice | Why is my best female friend [19] suddenly ignoring me [M/20]? | So for a little bit of background. We've known each other since we were six years old and became really good friends our final year of high school and into college.
Now, for what's actually annoying me. Back in mid January when we came back to school from winter break, she received her second underage drinking ticket. So when she told me, I comforted her for hours that day and then two days later, she asked to hang out again because she was still upset, except this day, she completely broke down and told me something that was really troubling her; she was sexually assaulted when she was 16 and had never really told anyone before. So for weeks, I was there for her. We'd spend a lot of time together hanging out or studying together. About a week or two ago, things started to go back to normal with her emotionally. Last Saturday she texted me with what started as a normal conversation and then she just never responded or looked at my text until the next day and responded and started another short conversation before ignoring my text for the entire day and just never responded. I saw her today briefly and she barely acknowledged me at first and then she skipped one of the classes we had together. I had to text her about a class today and she initially responded but ignored what I asked afterwards because I was still confused. By ignore, I mean not even open so I couldn't even see read. Typically she's rather fast at responding to my texts so by me saying ignore, I'm not assuming she is, I'm near certain she is based on how she usually is.
I just want if I am over thinking this or what it actually is. I just find it weird that she'd push me away from her since I'm one of her closest friends. | I'm pretty certain my best female friend has started to ignore me out of the blue and I can't figure out why exactly. |
t3_26gfuf | dating_advice | She won't initiate | So a little background I guess. I'm 22m and its been 3 years since my last relationship and 1 year since pursuing one, so you could say I'm a little rusty on this whole thing.
Last weekend I went out with some friends and ending up meeting this girl [19]. We talked on and off for the night and at the end I asked for her number. I've texted her a couple times this week and she responds, but sometimes the texts are hours between each other and she doesn't really initiate any conversations. I kinda feel like I'm doing all the work, and its really had to interpret the situation from texts. When I met her she was pretty quiet and I had to initiate most of the talking as well, so maybe she is just shy or an introvert. As an introvert myself I can kind of sympathize, but I also don't want to confuse shyness for a genuine lack of interest.
I guess my main question here is, is this just standard girl behavior? or should I expect someone to put in more effort?
Its been about a day and a half since last talking, should I try keep trying to text her or just give up? | do girls just never text the guy out of the blue? I've been out of the game for so long, is it really this much work? |
t3_52mxt2 | relationships | My husband (27M) and I (26F) are having cultural conflicts over the name of our future child | My husband Sean and I have been together for 7 ish years now, and we got married 4 years ago. My parents are immigrants from India, and he can trace his lineage to Ireland but it's back several generations.
When we were in college, Sean and I went abroad to Dublin. He fell in love with the culture, the environment, everything. He always wanted a culture and felt that he finally knew where he came from. After this trip, he became enamored with Irish first names. Think Aoife, Nora, Ciaran, etc.
My culture is important to me as well. Being Indian, I've grown up realizing that most Indians will choose to whitewash if given the opportunity. As a kid, if my name had been Nikita, you better believe I would've been Nicki. Thankfully my name was hard to anglicize and I grew to love it. I was never insulted for my name either, and it was phonetically pronounced.
Now that I'm expecting a baby, we're at odds when it comes to the name. Although I kept my maiden name, the baby will have Sean's last name, which is very obviously Irish. My husband also wants an Irish first name. I feel like giving our child an Irish first and last name just negates the Indian side too. I personally want an Indian first name, Irish middle, and Irish last name. I feel that's a fair compromise. My husband disagrees.
Is there anything we can do to settle this? Who is right here? Is there even a solution? | Irish-American husband wants kid to have Irish first and last name. I want an Indian first name to balance things out. |
t3_4yq8he | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] 3 months, had a misunderstanding and broke up? | Ok so TIFU, 3h ago. Well I have a girlfriend (3 months), we are from different cultures and there is some sort of a language barrier between us. Of course this most definitely leads to conflicts.
Well it did, I wont stress the content of the argument, but we did have one, she freaked out, I freaked out. First I have to mention that all this happened over a messenger, as it is a LDR we are having. So towards the end of the argument, it is getting late and she had to wake up early tomorrow. So we ended our fight and she was trying to make it good again. She was saying something like, we are more like friends (in Chinese), and I read it as "lets just be friends", as I was skimming through her messages and only picked up the keyword **friend**. So me, still in the heat of the fight said - "yeah lets just be friends". She was totally surprised and said she did not want this, but if I do, than she will go along. She then just said she was going to bed and ignored the rest. I did tell her I want to sort things out tomorrow, but I'm not sure how things will end.
So yeah I'm not sure how she will react tomorrow and whether I can fix this. I mean just telling her all this will definitely not fix this all, I mean things will still get awkward and I don't know how we can just "forget" this all.... I'm sure she is going to be pissed or at least really upset and I don't want to lose her because of this. I mean I just put the thought - that I was about to break up with her- on the table and she might be full of it all. I don't know what to do... | misunderstood a message from her and broke up. Now I willingly put the option of breaking up on the table and she is going to be really upset tomorrow. How can I fix this..................... |
t3_28c3om | relationships | Me [21 M] has a crush, [20 F], when do I tell her? We've been slowly getting closer, but not in a relationship type away. (More Below) | I have had a crush on this girl for about the past 6 months. We went to the same high school together (although I wasn't interested at the time) and we currently go to the same University and share a mutual friend who we are very close with so we see each other quite often.
Now that it's summer, we don't see each other around campus but we also live in the same hometown for this summer. We talk at least once every 2 days about random things and we always get along well and share the same kind of humor.
Now I know what you may already be thinking, "you're her friend man, you are friend zoned." There are 2 reasons why I wouldn't say that is so:
1) As also indicated by our mutual good friend, she NEVER speaks about guys. Not that she saw a cute guy at a party, not that she is looking to date, and she also doesn't have random hook-ups.
2) There was never a point where I was denied (mainly because I never tried to move anything to the next level)
Point is, I like this girl, I really like her. Right now, we are close, she trusts me, and we have fun. I suppose my question is, do I just keep this going? Will there be a point where maybe she just realizes that I like her and that we should try things out? Or does there have to be a decisive move where I make it clear to her that I want to date her?
Extra notes: We've gotten Froyo once as a mini date but never talked about what it meant. She's also joining me and 2 friends to go do Zumba and a workout class tomorrow. | I am close with a girl I have had a crush on, do I let it form into something over time or do I make it clear that I'd like to date her? |
t3_2u0gt3 | relationships | I [21 F] was an asshole to my friend [21 M] of over a year (a few years ago), see him sometimes, should I say sorry? | I was friends with this guy "Charlie" since the beginning of college, he was really the first person to go out of their way to talk to me and be a true friend to me. When other people were assholes, he stuck up for me.
Halfway through sophomore year, Charlie said something to me about my boyfriend "John" that really unsettled me, and I kinda stopped responding to him. I won't go into too much detail but he suggested I break up with my boyfriend because John didn't want me going to frat parties (John and I went to different schools). Cue me telling my bf this, him hating Charlie, and me starting to question whether Charlie thought I was letting John tell me what to do. For the record, I think John was justified. I go to a party school and excessive drinking/hooking up is the norm. It's really not healthy for a new relationship when only one half of the new couple is at such a party.
Anyway, I stopped talking to Charlie, he tried contacting me a few times, but eventually I kind of "chose" John over him. (No, Charlie was not interested in dating me. He is gay. He might have said what he said because he was going through a bad breakup at the time?)
Long story short, I see Charlie on campus at least once a week now, and we have avoided eye contact and kind of hurried along without saying anything, but I feel bad for alienating him when he was most likely hurting from his breakup. It's been over two years since we last hung out, though, so I'm wondering if it would be appropriate to just send him a text saying, "Hey, sorry I stopped talking to you because of John, I was an asshole." Does this make any sense? I don't want to necessarily rekindle a friendship, I just don't want to be that bitch for the rest of the semester that he has to avoid/I have to avoid him. Am I trying to absolve myself of something I have no right to try to fix? | Broke up" with a friend a few years ago, now see him regularly on campus. Do I say sorry just so it isn't awkward, or does that make it more awkward at this point? |
t3_2kekg0 | relationships | Me [26M] with my SO [23 F] dated for two months, she was sleeping with her FWB. Now is trying to get me back. Should I stay strong or cave in and give it another shot? | Earlier this year I was dating a girl. Things were going great, we two really liked each other and loved spending time with each other. We had been dating for about two months when I found out that she was still sleeping with her FWB.
There had been a at least one time where she told me she was hanging out with her room mates but was actually over at her FWB. I was really hurt to find this out. I wanted to give her benefit of doubt that as we had never discussed exclusivity so it was okay for her to do whatever she wanted. But I was not okay with the fact that the she lied to me. That and the intrusive thoughts got to me and I ended up breaking up with her.
I told her the reason that I was breaking up with her was that because she preferred to go have sex with her FWB rather than spend time with me. The break up happened about 4 months ago and I have been NC with her ever since. She has tried to get in touch with me a few times but I was still hurting and didn't want to talk to her.
Fast forward to this week, she sends me a text apologizing for her actions and saying that she wished "that event" had never happened. From what I know about her, I feel like she is regretting the decision to sleep with her FWB and wants me back now.
I really liked and still have feelings for her. But those intrusive thoughts still haven't died down. I don't know whether I should take her back because her action can be justifiable as it was a gray area while the relationship wasn't clearly defined. Or stay strong and not take her back because she also knew she was crossing the line when she lied to me about whom she was hanging out with. | SO of two months was still sleeping with her FWB. I broke up 4 months ago. She apologized for her actions and seems to want me back. Do I take her back? |
t3_2p4mv4 | relationships | I [17 M] got some advice from a close friend [16 M] of mine and I need your guys opinion | Hi so my friend always get mad at me when I don't follow his advice, sometimes I think he's trying to get me to rush things. So here's what he recently told me.
Okay so the scenario is that I went up to this girl after school and started talking to her. We had a short convo and I walked her to her block, I asked her if she would be interested in going on a date with me, she said "let's get to know each other a little bit". Keep in mind this was 4 days ago, and we've been texting each other everyday, we don't have class together but I've talked to her in person twice.
Yes, I know I did nothing wrong, yes maybe she might have just wanted to reject me in a nice way, yes I understand I should move on. Some people might think that, "She really just wanted to get to know you a bit". Which I agree, it's understandable.
I told my friend this, and he started telling me that "Well that's what you do on a date, you get to know each other. It's not like you're asking her to be your girlfriend immediately". I kind of agreed on this, but that's why I'm asking for your guys opinion on this.
So today while I was with my friend, he was telling me "When you start being in the comfort zone AS JUST FRIENDS, she won't want to leave that. It's like starting a new relationship over again. She'll just stick to you as a friend."
He wants me to ask her out again but explain to her that going out on a date is like getting to know someone but in a more romantic way. I really need some more opinions on this. Thanks. | Friend of mine keeps telling me that if I don't get the girl to go out with me on a date soon I'll just be stuck in her comfort zone of a friend. So should I ask her out again or not? |
t3_3e5a3n | relationships | My [19 M] SO [21 F] is telling me we need to breakup for "my own good". | Okay, made a post yesterday I think, turns out nothing was going on that I thought was, but rather something much more serious.
Here was my other post for reference:
My SO has started telling me that it is best for me, that the next months of my life will be much better without her, that she is a burden and doesn't deserve me. But she will not give any further explanation. She is just expecting me to walk away from her based on trust. Me trusting that her making this decision for me is best for me.
Do I continue to try to get through to her that it no matter the circumstance, this isn't something I want? Or do I just walk away and let her think she is making the right decision?
She seems to be in an incredibly bad spot in life right now and I don't know whether I should just walk away without an explanation, or try to help her. I love this girl to death and leaving her is the last thing I want to do. | SO expects me to walk away from our relationship because it is "best for me" without any further explanation. Do I walk, or fight? |
t3_eelhp | self | Dear Redditors that post images... | I thoroughly enjoy looking at the pics you post but not all of us have the latest equipment that can load images of great resolution. Because of current financial difficulties, my current computer is a 6 year old Dell tower I bought off of Craigslist for $30. My friend suggested I install Ubuntu as it would help avoid viruses and crash less, and so I did. Much to my chagrin, many images over 2048 x 1080 (or sometimes less) will cause Ubuntu to crash and force an automatic OS restart or even a hard reset.
And so I implore you image posters, unless the image depicts exquisite scenery or something that needs to be posted in a large format, please consider resizing the image. This can even be done in Microsoft Paint. | There are still people that use older machines which sometimes cannot handle the very large resolutions with which you post your pics. Please consider resizing your images. |
t3_2vi8y6 | relationships | Hey Reddit. I've (23 F) been dating a guy (27 M) for almost a year and we still haven't had sex...? | Hey guys.
So as stated, we still haven't had sex. I really like him and he likes me. In the beginning of our dating relationship, I told him I wanted to have sex with someone I was in love with and could see myself with for the rest of my life. He said he was okay with that and didn't mind. I took his word for it.
Now it's been almost a year and he keeps trying to have sex. He started to get upset about it. I like him a lot and I'm debating whether or not I should have sex with him. I might regret it but I also want him to be happy.
Lastly, I'm a virgin. He knows this. He's tried to fuck me twice...and it hurt a lot. I was scared and sometimes I get nervous to give him blowjobs because of what happened. I told him that I was scared because I thought I was going to get raped, so he stopped. But he still wants to have sex. I do, too, but I'm afraid of the consequences (I don't want to get too attached to him like most girls do after having sex/losing virginity to SO).
Please help. I need some advice. | dating a guy who keeps wanting sex and even tried to without my consent. Thinking whether or not I should since I like him a lot. |
t3_1flqlj | relationships | I'm (28m) having no conversation/sex with my live-in girlfriend(29f) of 4 years and no idea how to fix it. | **W**e've been together for 4 years this past may, lived together for just about as long:
**W**henever it's just us we have little to nothing to say to each other:
Our jobs are repetitive so "how was work," is answered pretty much the same every day and then the conversation stops.
**W**e hung out at a bar, just the two of us, for my birthday, in near silence mostly either of us saying "well, where do you want to go, what would you like to do today"
**I**t feels like we've exhausted all investigative questions (we both have similar political/social views and know each other so well), so there's seemingly nothing to talk about any more.
**W**e're planning on taking up rock climbing at the local gym to have a hobby together, but haven't yet as other priorities get in the way (she also hurt herself and has to wait to heal)
**T**his is her longest relationship to date and has also stopped initiating sex, her kisses have devolved into simple pecks and has informed me that she doesn't really feel that sexual desire for me like she used to. (which I'm assuming happens in a long term relationship, though my sex drive for her remains unchanged)
**I**'ve looked for books/games online but found mostly sex-play oriented things and less in the "play this and learn new things about each others personalities" department
**W**e've talked about it, we're still in love, don't wish to break up, everything is simply waning. Mostly we watch tv shows together. | 4 years into the relationship we have nothing to say to each other and she's lost her ladyboner for me: How do y'all keep the long term relationship conversation/spark going? |
t3_vcu2l | dating_advice | In need of advice about a girl I recently met. | Alright so here it is. I am an 17 year old male with minimal dating experience. I met a girl (18) a week or so ago and we have been talking on facebook/texting ever since (she initiates most of the conversations). She seems to be interested in me based on her language and tone but I am not an expert on this.
We have a lunch planned in a few days and I feel like at that point we will know enough about each other to make an informed decision. There are a couple problems however: first, I have NO IDEA how to convey to her that I am interested during said lunch. I really need her to know because I do not want to miss an opportunity to have something great.
Basically, I need to know what I can say or do to tell her I am interested/ask her out officially. I really do feel like she is interested as well but I want to make sure we are on the same page. I would really appreciate any and all advice I can get. If anyone needs more details I am more than willing to provide. Thanks! | Met a girl, we have been talking and I need to know how to tell her I am interested/ask her out officially. |
t3_369739 | relationships | My [27 M] girlfriend [27 F] is sharing a bed with her ex boyfriend.. | My girlfriend of two years is currently studying abroad. I am going to visit her next month, but already the time spent apart has been tough. Well now a couple days ago a group of her friends (including an ex-boyfriend of hers) who happened to be travelling near where she is came to visit her in the small village in which she is staying with a host family. Her host parents said it was alright if they stayed in the house, but there aren't enough beds so it will be two-to-a-bed for the few days in which they are there.
I was already feeling a bit funny that she would be hanging out and partying with an ex-boyfriend of hers on the other side of the world, but today when talking she just casually dropped that THEY are sharing a bed together. She had mentioned the shortness of beds before but I had just assumed she would be sharing with one of the girls in the group. When I said that I was absolutely NOT okay with them sleeping in a bed together (I mean, come on!) she seemed *shocked* that it bothered me. She says that they are just good friends and that I should have more faith in her, she seemed genuinely upset that I didn't trust her to be in that situation. Reddit, am I actually out of line here? I mean I do love her and trust her completely but I still find it bizarre that they couldn't have found a better sleeping situation, and even more bizarre that she expected me to just be completely cool with it. | GF is currently overseas and sharing a bed (platonically, I'm assured) with her ex for a few days, gets mad at me for questioning her about it |
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