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yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivx442a | ivv7yjk | 1,668,149,032 | 1,668,115,050 | 561 | 462 | Email/cc all 3 in the same email explaining that you were told to not come to work (by manager 1) due to your blond hair color and ask if you are to come to your shift while you are waiting for clarification, since the answer didn’t come in time for your next shift. That way the other two people will get your side of the conversation before you have a no show on your record, while also highlighting what manager 1 said to you, in writing. | Not a lawyer. Long shot, but is your employer located in Austin? If so this could be prohibited under the CROWN act. As others have said, follow up in writing to request your supervisor clarify their request in an email so you have a paper trail for HR documentation. | 1 | 33,982 | 1.214286 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivv1wkc | ivx442a | 1,668,112,652 | 1,668,149,032 | 436 | 561 | This is sticky. You should ask HR directly for clarification. Let them know what’s going on. | Email/cc all 3 in the same email explaining that you were told to not come to work (by manager 1) due to your blond hair color and ask if you are to come to your shift while you are waiting for clarification, since the answer didn’t come in time for your next shift. That way the other two people will get your side of the conversation before you have a no show on your record, while also highlighting what manager 1 said to you, in writing. | 0 | 36,380 | 1.286697 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivv8t3g | ivx442a | 1,668,115,390 | 1,668,149,032 | 196 | 561 | This also could be a form of discrimination, so look on the EEOC’s website as to what you need to do to document it should you decide to file a claim. Because this is all kinds of wrong. | Email/cc all 3 in the same email explaining that you were told to not come to work (by manager 1) due to your blond hair color and ask if you are to come to your shift while you are waiting for clarification, since the answer didn’t come in time for your next shift. That way the other two people will get your side of the conversation before you have a no show on your record, while also highlighting what manager 1 said to you, in writing. | 0 | 33,642 | 2.862245 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivx442a | ivx07zk | 1,668,149,032 | 1,668,146,170 | 561 | 115 | Email/cc all 3 in the same email explaining that you were told to not come to work (by manager 1) due to your blond hair color and ask if you are to come to your shift while you are waiting for clarification, since the answer didn’t come in time for your next shift. That way the other two people will get your side of the conversation before you have a no show on your record, while also highlighting what manager 1 said to you, in writing. | This is a supervisor, not the top of the hierarchy or representative of the medical corporation they work for. The supervisor's bosses likely have no idea this person made this request, especially if you have had the same hair color without incident for a year. The real bosses don't want liability like this, and this is who you need to talk to. First, if possible, ask for the request in writing and text is fine, especially if it's from the supervisor's personal cell. If you can't, proceed anyways by contacting human resources. As some have said, HR protects the company over the individual. The individual in this circumstance causing issues for the company is your supervisor. The supervisor is opening the company to potential discrimination lawsuits and creating issues for the company unnecessarily. This is who HR will want to correct. | 1 | 2,862 | 4.878261 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivvuda3 | ivx442a | 1,668,124,685 | 1,668,149,032 | 94 | 561 | It will help you to document every instance you are being asked to make these changes and your White colleagues are not. If you or a group of people who are people of color are the only people against whom these codes are being enforced, then it can be a case for racial discrimination. Speaking to HR is a good start, but don’t count on them to protect your interests- they are company employees. You may be able to file with the state and federal departments of labor and the EEOC, who will investigate. https://www.justia.com/employment/employment-discrimination/race-discrimination/ | Email/cc all 3 in the same email explaining that you were told to not come to work (by manager 1) due to your blond hair color and ask if you are to come to your shift while you are waiting for clarification, since the answer didn’t come in time for your next shift. That way the other two people will get your side of the conversation before you have a no show on your record, while also highlighting what manager 1 said to you, in writing. | 0 | 24,347 | 5.968085 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivwra8o | ivx442a | 1,668,140,553 | 1,668,149,032 | 49 | 561 | If it’s not in writing I would be worried that maybe your supervisor is trying to tell you not to show up to work to get you fired because you missed your shifts because you listened to her. She could even go as far as lying about the whole hair colour thing and say she never spoke to you. So getting you fired on a totally different and legit reason to let someone go. Get an email out ASAP about what she verbally told you and the reason why you aren’t showing up for work | Email/cc all 3 in the same email explaining that you were told to not come to work (by manager 1) due to your blond hair color and ask if you are to come to your shift while you are waiting for clarification, since the answer didn’t come in time for your next shift. That way the other two people will get your side of the conversation before you have a no show on your record, while also highlighting what manager 1 said to you, in writing. | 0 | 8,479 | 11.44898 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivx442a | ivw6pe3 | 1,668,149,032 | 1,668,130,435 | 561 | 37 | Email/cc all 3 in the same email explaining that you were told to not come to work (by manager 1) due to your blond hair color and ask if you are to come to your shift while you are waiting for clarification, since the answer didn’t come in time for your next shift. That way the other two people will get your side of the conversation before you have a no show on your record, while also highlighting what manager 1 said to you, in writing. | If you give any push back you need another job lined up because if your boss is forced by HR to allow this then they will just wait a month then fire you for some obscure reason. Since it's been allowed for a long time my suspicion is someone above your boss who you don't normally come in contact with, saw you and pushed this down to your boss. Can't think of any other reason your boss would allow it for over a year then all the sudden say something. | 1 | 18,597 | 15.162162 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivv7yjk | ivv1wkc | 1,668,115,050 | 1,668,112,652 | 462 | 436 | Not a lawyer. Long shot, but is your employer located in Austin? If so this could be prohibited under the CROWN act. As others have said, follow up in writing to request your supervisor clarify their request in an email so you have a paper trail for HR documentation. | This is sticky. You should ask HR directly for clarification. Let them know what’s going on. | 1 | 2,398 | 1.059633 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivx07zk | ivvuda3 | 1,668,146,170 | 1,668,124,685 | 115 | 94 | This is a supervisor, not the top of the hierarchy or representative of the medical corporation they work for. The supervisor's bosses likely have no idea this person made this request, especially if you have had the same hair color without incident for a year. The real bosses don't want liability like this, and this is who you need to talk to. First, if possible, ask for the request in writing and text is fine, especially if it's from the supervisor's personal cell. If you can't, proceed anyways by contacting human resources. As some have said, HR protects the company over the individual. The individual in this circumstance causing issues for the company is your supervisor. The supervisor is opening the company to potential discrimination lawsuits and creating issues for the company unnecessarily. This is who HR will want to correct. | It will help you to document every instance you are being asked to make these changes and your White colleagues are not. If you or a group of people who are people of color are the only people against whom these codes are being enforced, then it can be a case for racial discrimination. Speaking to HR is a good start, but don’t count on them to protect your interests- they are company employees. You may be able to file with the state and federal departments of labor and the EEOC, who will investigate. https://www.justia.com/employment/employment-discrimination/race-discrimination/ | 1 | 21,485 | 1.223404 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivwra8o | ivx07zk | 1,668,140,553 | 1,668,146,170 | 49 | 115 | If it’s not in writing I would be worried that maybe your supervisor is trying to tell you not to show up to work to get you fired because you missed your shifts because you listened to her. She could even go as far as lying about the whole hair colour thing and say she never spoke to you. So getting you fired on a totally different and legit reason to let someone go. Get an email out ASAP about what she verbally told you and the reason why you aren’t showing up for work | This is a supervisor, not the top of the hierarchy or representative of the medical corporation they work for. The supervisor's bosses likely have no idea this person made this request, especially if you have had the same hair color without incident for a year. The real bosses don't want liability like this, and this is who you need to talk to. First, if possible, ask for the request in writing and text is fine, especially if it's from the supervisor's personal cell. If you can't, proceed anyways by contacting human resources. As some have said, HR protects the company over the individual. The individual in this circumstance causing issues for the company is your supervisor. The supervisor is opening the company to potential discrimination lawsuits and creating issues for the company unnecessarily. This is who HR will want to correct. | 0 | 5,617 | 2.346939 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivw6pe3 | ivx07zk | 1,668,130,435 | 1,668,146,170 | 37 | 115 | If you give any push back you need another job lined up because if your boss is forced by HR to allow this then they will just wait a month then fire you for some obscure reason. Since it's been allowed for a long time my suspicion is someone above your boss who you don't normally come in contact with, saw you and pushed this down to your boss. Can't think of any other reason your boss would allow it for over a year then all the sudden say something. | This is a supervisor, not the top of the hierarchy or representative of the medical corporation they work for. The supervisor's bosses likely have no idea this person made this request, especially if you have had the same hair color without incident for a year. The real bosses don't want liability like this, and this is who you need to talk to. First, if possible, ask for the request in writing and text is fine, especially if it's from the supervisor's personal cell. If you can't, proceed anyways by contacting human resources. As some have said, HR protects the company over the individual. The individual in this circumstance causing issues for the company is your supervisor. The supervisor is opening the company to potential discrimination lawsuits and creating issues for the company unnecessarily. This is who HR will want to correct. | 0 | 15,735 | 3.108108 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivxoqwa | ivwra8o | 1,668,166,483 | 1,668,140,553 | 90 | 49 | Do not miss a shift without a written instruction from hr. That will be their excuse to can you. | If it’s not in writing I would be worried that maybe your supervisor is trying to tell you not to show up to work to get you fired because you missed your shifts because you listened to her. She could even go as far as lying about the whole hair colour thing and say she never spoke to you. So getting you fired on a totally different and legit reason to let someone go. Get an email out ASAP about what she verbally told you and the reason why you aren’t showing up for work | 1 | 25,930 | 1.836735 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivxoqwa | ivw6pe3 | 1,668,166,483 | 1,668,130,435 | 90 | 37 | Do not miss a shift without a written instruction from hr. That will be their excuse to can you. | If you give any push back you need another job lined up because if your boss is forced by HR to allow this then they will just wait a month then fire you for some obscure reason. Since it's been allowed for a long time my suspicion is someone above your boss who you don't normally come in contact with, saw you and pushed this down to your boss. Can't think of any other reason your boss would allow it for over a year then all the sudden say something. | 1 | 36,048 | 2.432432 |
yrqpo1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Is it legal for my employer to ask me, and only me, to change my hair color? [Texas] I have had blonde hair for 1 and 1/2 of the 2 years that I have been employed by my company. Today a supervisor told me that my hair color was inappropriate, and that I would not be allowed to return to work until I changed it. This caught me by surprise because our official policy vaguely says “no unnatural hair colors” which I, and many others interpreted to mean no colors such as blue, pink, green etc. I have many coworkers who have dyed their hair blonde and other various shades of naturally occurring colors with no issue. The only difference I can see between me and my other coworkers is that they are all white and I am African American (female). My company employee makeup is about 99.5% white, (I did the math), and I can’t help but feel there is racial undertones to why it is inappropriate for me to have blonde hair, but not others. My response to my supervisor was that I was unaware my hair color choice was inappropriate, and I asked why I had never received any sort of notice that it was inappropriate in the 1+ year of having the hair color. My supervisor did not acknowledge my response, and said that I would have to dye my hair to a “naturally dark” shade before being allowed to return to work. I did not want to misinterpret what she said, and so I asked for photos of acceptable hair color for clarification which I am still waiting to receive from her. She said she would need to discuss an appropriate hair color for me with her boss before she got back with me. Her boss is a white woman with naturally dark hair who bleaches her hair to a similar shade of blonde as I do. I also would like to add that in my time with this company I have never had any disciplinary actions taken against me, and I was under the impression - up until this point - that I was in very good standing with my company. | ivw6pe3 | ivwra8o | 1,668,130,435 | 1,668,140,553 | 37 | 49 | If you give any push back you need another job lined up because if your boss is forced by HR to allow this then they will just wait a month then fire you for some obscure reason. Since it's been allowed for a long time my suspicion is someone above your boss who you don't normally come in contact with, saw you and pushed this down to your boss. Can't think of any other reason your boss would allow it for over a year then all the sudden say something. | If it’s not in writing I would be worried that maybe your supervisor is trying to tell you not to show up to work to get you fired because you missed your shifts because you listened to her. She could even go as far as lying about the whole hair colour thing and say she never spoke to you. So getting you fired on a totally different and legit reason to let someone go. Get an email out ASAP about what she verbally told you and the reason why you aren’t showing up for work | 0 | 10,118 | 1.324324 |
cylntb | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | [OH] My Wife is attempting to interfere with child custody exchanges with co-parent I have a shared parenting agreement with a woman over our son. We meet a few times a week to exchange, normally everything goes smooth. Occasionally though, the schedule goes awry because of normal complications (traffic, work, etc). However, my wife flips her shit each time and starts harassing me and threatening to harass the other woman. Tomorrow morning I needed to go get my son early in the morning bc the other woman is working, so tonight my wife blocked my car in the garage with her car and is threatening problems if I try to go for my son without her. However, my wife has caused issues in the past and the co-parent has made it clear she doesn’t want my wife there at the exchanges (nor do I, I don’t want any drama, I just want to get my kid and go). Things like this happen all the time with my wife and I’m getting tired of it. Long-term, divorce is looking like the only route out of this, but short-term, do I have any legal recourse against my own wife if she’s continually harassing me and trying to interfere with me raising my other child? | eytr08x | eyty0v0 | 1,567,443,548 | 1,567,448,184 | 3 | 7 | Is your wife aware that if you spend less time with your child the child support could be increased, likely cutting into whatever money (I assume) you are providing to your wife? | If the roles were reversed and the mother of your child, had a spouse who behaved in this way, would you feel comfortable with handing over your child? If your child's mother realises the full severity of the situation, she would be most sensible to stop whatever your arrangements are . Assumably your wife knew you had a child when they married you, whatever is fueling her insecurities and behaviour, you must make sure she does not have access to your child again. Until she has left permanently, explain to your ex you cannot have your child at the house, and will have to arrange some other arrangements, stay in a hotel, with friends, family, just do not put your child in harms way. | 0 | 4,636 | 2.333333 |
4rv4cs | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | [WI] Ex Wife is attempting to move children from agreed upon school district for daughters (12 and twin 10) without my agreement. The facts of this one is that I have three daughters that are middle school age and the divorce agreement has a school district directly listed as where they are required to attend. There is no "radius" agreement and the school district is firmly stated. I live approx 125 miles from my children and have joint custody, but she has primary placement for the school reasons. She has unilaterally decided to move the children from the agreed upon school to a new school 45 miles from their current school in a very rural area and the children are not happy and neither am I. They are moving from a suburban area into a very rural area. I was not consulted on a major life issue, she went against an agreement and is stating she can do what she wants, because I moved, but my job location was listed in the divorce judgement, so it hasnt changed since the agreement was finalized. My question is what can I do from here to prevent this? | d54gfhf | d54gbqc | 1,467,996,742 | 1,467,996,610 | 154 | 9 | It is Friday during business hours. You should be on the phone to your divorce lawyer, not here on reddit. Also, many kids go to school based on where they live. Your ex is moving from Waukesha to Mazomanie and you want the girls to stay in a particular district? Are they moving closer towards you or farther away? Regardless, it is your divorce lawyer who will know, not a bunch of anonymous people on reddit. | >They are moving from a suburban area into a very rural area. Wait, is your wife moving to a new area and as such enrolling them in a new school or are they living in the same place but are now going to a different school? | 1 | 132 | 17.111111 |
4rv4cs | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | [WI] Ex Wife is attempting to move children from agreed upon school district for daughters (12 and twin 10) without my agreement. The facts of this one is that I have three daughters that are middle school age and the divorce agreement has a school district directly listed as where they are required to attend. There is no "radius" agreement and the school district is firmly stated. I live approx 125 miles from my children and have joint custody, but she has primary placement for the school reasons. She has unilaterally decided to move the children from the agreed upon school to a new school 45 miles from their current school in a very rural area and the children are not happy and neither am I. They are moving from a suburban area into a very rural area. I was not consulted on a major life issue, she went against an agreement and is stating she can do what she wants, because I moved, but my job location was listed in the divorce judgement, so it hasnt changed since the agreement was finalized. My question is what can I do from here to prevent this? | d54so2g | d54gbqc | 1,468,012,444 | 1,467,996,610 | 19 | 9 | Do this quickly and try for emergency court hearing. A similar thing happened to my friend but by the time he got a court date the kids were 3 months into the school year and the judge said he did not want them disrupted again and totally did hold the ex in contempt nor make the kids switch back. Move swiftly and aggressively. | >They are moving from a suburban area into a very rural area. Wait, is your wife moving to a new area and as such enrolling them in a new school or are they living in the same place but are now going to a different school? | 1 | 15,834 | 2.111111 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0a6wgv | i09ore1 | 1,647,029,090 | 1,647,021,992 | 901 | 226 | You need to inform yourself based on the laws in your state. Because of the length of time they have lived there depending on the laws it can be a 30-day notice or a 60-day notice. You may also want to have a conversation with an attorney to determine the best course as it looks like you may have to do a legal eviction. Your mother had already thrown out that she is not beyond suing you, so your relationship is already severely damaged. At this point you want to minimize your damage and that is by speaking to an attorney specializing in evictions in your state. Good luck 🍀 | What’s your current location? Wisconsin? Georgia? Regardless, they're going to be considered tenants. Generally that means a 30 days notice and you’ll have to start eviction proceedings if they don’t voluntarily leave by then. You can verify the state specific requirements with a Google search. I’m sorry you’re going through this. | 1 | 7,098 | 3.986726 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0a6wgv | i09tf5s | 1,647,029,090 | 1,647,023,766 | 901 | 142 | You need to inform yourself based on the laws in your state. Because of the length of time they have lived there depending on the laws it can be a 30-day notice or a 60-day notice. You may also want to have a conversation with an attorney to determine the best course as it looks like you may have to do a legal eviction. Your mother had already thrown out that she is not beyond suing you, so your relationship is already severely damaged. At this point you want to minimize your damage and that is by speaking to an attorney specializing in evictions in your state. Good luck 🍀 | As others have stated legally they are entitled to 30 days written notice then eviction in court if they still do not leave. The process can take a long time. From a non-legal standpoint court should be your last resort. You and they both need to understand what suing a child/parent means for your relationship. You should sit down and explain that yes they are legally tenants but if they want to reduce the relationship into a business (tenant-landlord) relationship it will have serious repercussions on your personal relationship with them. Win or lose, suing a parent/child never turns out well. | 1 | 5,324 | 6.34507 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0a6wgv | i09nx4z | 1,647,029,090 | 1,647,021,676 | 901 | 66 | You need to inform yourself based on the laws in your state. Because of the length of time they have lived there depending on the laws it can be a 30-day notice or a 60-day notice. You may also want to have a conversation with an attorney to determine the best course as it looks like you may have to do a legal eviction. Your mother had already thrown out that she is not beyond suing you, so your relationship is already severely damaged. At this point you want to minimize your damage and that is by speaking to an attorney specializing in evictions in your state. Good luck 🍀 | You need to give them whatever notice is required by tenancy law in your state. Generally, it doesn't matter that they don't have a lease or that they aren't paying anything. They have lived their for four years, that affords them rights. | 1 | 7,414 | 13.651515 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09n6s7 | i0a6wgv | 1,647,021,408 | 1,647,029,090 | 6 | 901 | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | You need to inform yourself based on the laws in your state. Because of the length of time they have lived there depending on the laws it can be a 30-day notice or a 60-day notice. You may also want to have a conversation with an attorney to determine the best course as it looks like you may have to do a legal eviction. Your mother had already thrown out that she is not beyond suing you, so your relationship is already severely damaged. At this point you want to minimize your damage and that is by speaking to an attorney specializing in evictions in your state. Good luck 🍀 | 0 | 7,682 | 150.166667 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09ore1 | i0a7rvy | 1,647,021,992 | 1,647,029,454 | 226 | 260 | What’s your current location? Wisconsin? Georgia? Regardless, they're going to be considered tenants. Generally that means a 30 days notice and you’ll have to start eviction proceedings if they don’t voluntarily leave by then. You can verify the state specific requirements with a Google search. I’m sorry you’re going through this. | Without your state, information is limited. Some states recognize a difference between EJECTMENT and EVICTIONS. If your state is one of those, you need an ejectment action. Your parents aren’t tenants. They’re non tenants. They never paid rent or had a lease. Generally it starts with giving them notice to vacate the premise. Without knowing whether your state recognizes ejectment actions, I can’t be sure. | 0 | 7,462 | 1.150442 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0a7rvy | i09tf5s | 1,647,029,454 | 1,647,023,766 | 260 | 142 | Without your state, information is limited. Some states recognize a difference between EJECTMENT and EVICTIONS. If your state is one of those, you need an ejectment action. Your parents aren’t tenants. They’re non tenants. They never paid rent or had a lease. Generally it starts with giving them notice to vacate the premise. Without knowing whether your state recognizes ejectment actions, I can’t be sure. | As others have stated legally they are entitled to 30 days written notice then eviction in court if they still do not leave. The process can take a long time. From a non-legal standpoint court should be your last resort. You and they both need to understand what suing a child/parent means for your relationship. You should sit down and explain that yes they are legally tenants but if they want to reduce the relationship into a business (tenant-landlord) relationship it will have serious repercussions on your personal relationship with them. Win or lose, suing a parent/child never turns out well. | 1 | 5,688 | 1.830986 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0a7rvy | i09nx4z | 1,647,029,454 | 1,647,021,676 | 260 | 66 | Without your state, information is limited. Some states recognize a difference between EJECTMENT and EVICTIONS. If your state is one of those, you need an ejectment action. Your parents aren’t tenants. They’re non tenants. They never paid rent or had a lease. Generally it starts with giving them notice to vacate the premise. Without knowing whether your state recognizes ejectment actions, I can’t be sure. | You need to give them whatever notice is required by tenancy law in your state. Generally, it doesn't matter that they don't have a lease or that they aren't paying anything. They have lived their for four years, that affords them rights. | 1 | 7,778 | 3.939394 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09n6s7 | i0a7rvy | 1,647,021,408 | 1,647,029,454 | 6 | 260 | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | Without your state, information is limited. Some states recognize a difference between EJECTMENT and EVICTIONS. If your state is one of those, you need an ejectment action. Your parents aren’t tenants. They’re non tenants. They never paid rent or had a lease. Generally it starts with giving them notice to vacate the premise. Without knowing whether your state recognizes ejectment actions, I can’t be sure. | 0 | 8,046 | 43.333333 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09nx4z | i09ore1 | 1,647,021,676 | 1,647,021,992 | 66 | 226 | You need to give them whatever notice is required by tenancy law in your state. Generally, it doesn't matter that they don't have a lease or that they aren't paying anything. They have lived their for four years, that affords them rights. | What’s your current location? Wisconsin? Georgia? Regardless, they're going to be considered tenants. Generally that means a 30 days notice and you’ll have to start eviction proceedings if they don’t voluntarily leave by then. You can verify the state specific requirements with a Google search. I’m sorry you’re going through this. | 0 | 316 | 3.424242 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09ore1 | i09n6s7 | 1,647,021,992 | 1,647,021,408 | 226 | 6 | What’s your current location? Wisconsin? Georgia? Regardless, they're going to be considered tenants. Generally that means a 30 days notice and you’ll have to start eviction proceedings if they don’t voluntarily leave by then. You can verify the state specific requirements with a Google search. I’m sorry you’re going through this. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 584 | 37.666667 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09nx4z | i09tf5s | 1,647,021,676 | 1,647,023,766 | 66 | 142 | You need to give them whatever notice is required by tenancy law in your state. Generally, it doesn't matter that they don't have a lease or that they aren't paying anything. They have lived their for four years, that affords them rights. | As others have stated legally they are entitled to 30 days written notice then eviction in court if they still do not leave. The process can take a long time. From a non-legal standpoint court should be your last resort. You and they both need to understand what suing a child/parent means for your relationship. You should sit down and explain that yes they are legally tenants but if they want to reduce the relationship into a business (tenant-landlord) relationship it will have serious repercussions on your personal relationship with them. Win or lose, suing a parent/child never turns out well. | 0 | 2,090 | 2.151515 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09tf5s | i09n6s7 | 1,647,023,766 | 1,647,021,408 | 142 | 6 | As others have stated legally they are entitled to 30 days written notice then eviction in court if they still do not leave. The process can take a long time. From a non-legal standpoint court should be your last resort. You and they both need to understand what suing a child/parent means for your relationship. You should sit down and explain that yes they are legally tenants but if they want to reduce the relationship into a business (tenant-landlord) relationship it will have serious repercussions on your personal relationship with them. Win or lose, suing a parent/child never turns out well. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 2,358 | 23.666667 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09nx4z | i0alq9b | 1,647,021,676 | 1,647,035,123 | 66 | 119 | You need to give them whatever notice is required by tenancy law in your state. Generally, it doesn't matter that they don't have a lease or that they aren't paying anything. They have lived their for four years, that affords them rights. | One other option is called "keys for cash". Essentially talk with your husband and figure out what it is 'worth' to have them out of the house, literally tomorrow. If it's $8,000 offer them $5,000 say we will help you pack, you sign this agreement and you leave. Immediately. (Just figure out what your 'max' is, and then negotiate up from a number less than that. If they don't bite, immediately move to evict. Give notice, whatever. You MAY wish to hire an attorney to be present and draft the cash for keys notice/eviction. It takes some of the emotion out of it for you, and can certainly help them to realize you're not kidding around. Figure $500 for a lawyer, 1-2 hours and the preparation of paperwork. The advantage also would be then that they need to talk to your attorney regarding anything as well, once again removing you from the middle. That *is* legal, but they have to agree to it. Otherwise, you will have to file for eviction (give notice etc). Most people don't want an eviction, so cash for keys may be attractive. Tell them the money will be paid IN CASH. But they must sign the paperwork before the cash crosses the table. Edit to add, I would in your case only give the cash (or have them pick it up a the attorney office) once they are OUT of the house. Don't want to give it over, then they 'reconsider' or want to renegotiate. | 0 | 13,447 | 1.80303 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0admrl | i0alq9b | 1,647,031,835 | 1,647,035,123 | 28 | 119 | Not a lawyer. You need a lawyer that specializes in landlord/tenant law, immediately. Not tomorrow, not next week, right now. Most of this family relationship stuff you're describing is entirely irrelevant to giving you \*legal advice\*. Another reddit sub can help with that, none of the "they moved here, then here, then cheating happened, then.... blah blah blah" -- not relevant here. Your parents need to be served with an eviction notice ASAP. Any delay in this will screw up your ability to move out of your current house and into your new house. No-one wants to buy a home that has squatters living in it that will delay the time-frame for them to move in. And generally, moving into your new home is contingent on being able to sell your current home. You could draft up some kind of eviction notice with an online document, but you also need to make sure this is being handled properly through the courts. Maybe you offer a "cash for keys" situation where you give your deadbeat parents some money in order to encourage them to find a different place to rent ASAP. Either way, you need to get them out of your house #1, and then deal with the rest of your relationship issues once that part is settled. | One other option is called "keys for cash". Essentially talk with your husband and figure out what it is 'worth' to have them out of the house, literally tomorrow. If it's $8,000 offer them $5,000 say we will help you pack, you sign this agreement and you leave. Immediately. (Just figure out what your 'max' is, and then negotiate up from a number less than that. If they don't bite, immediately move to evict. Give notice, whatever. You MAY wish to hire an attorney to be present and draft the cash for keys notice/eviction. It takes some of the emotion out of it for you, and can certainly help them to realize you're not kidding around. Figure $500 for a lawyer, 1-2 hours and the preparation of paperwork. The advantage also would be then that they need to talk to your attorney regarding anything as well, once again removing you from the middle. That *is* legal, but they have to agree to it. Otherwise, you will have to file for eviction (give notice etc). Most people don't want an eviction, so cash for keys may be attractive. Tell them the money will be paid IN CASH. But they must sign the paperwork before the cash crosses the table. Edit to add, I would in your case only give the cash (or have them pick it up a the attorney office) once they are OUT of the house. Don't want to give it over, then they 'reconsider' or want to renegotiate. | 0 | 3,288 | 4.25 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0abajc | i0alq9b | 1,647,030,896 | 1,647,035,123 | 19 | 119 | Check to see if there is a difference in your state between tenants and lodgers. | One other option is called "keys for cash". Essentially talk with your husband and figure out what it is 'worth' to have them out of the house, literally tomorrow. If it's $8,000 offer them $5,000 say we will help you pack, you sign this agreement and you leave. Immediately. (Just figure out what your 'max' is, and then negotiate up from a number less than that. If they don't bite, immediately move to evict. Give notice, whatever. You MAY wish to hire an attorney to be present and draft the cash for keys notice/eviction. It takes some of the emotion out of it for you, and can certainly help them to realize you're not kidding around. Figure $500 for a lawyer, 1-2 hours and the preparation of paperwork. The advantage also would be then that they need to talk to your attorney regarding anything as well, once again removing you from the middle. That *is* legal, but they have to agree to it. Otherwise, you will have to file for eviction (give notice etc). Most people don't want an eviction, so cash for keys may be attractive. Tell them the money will be paid IN CASH. But they must sign the paperwork before the cash crosses the table. Edit to add, I would in your case only give the cash (or have them pick it up a the attorney office) once they are OUT of the house. Don't want to give it over, then they 'reconsider' or want to renegotiate. | 0 | 4,227 | 6.263158 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09n6s7 | i0alq9b | 1,647,021,408 | 1,647,035,123 | 6 | 119 | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | One other option is called "keys for cash". Essentially talk with your husband and figure out what it is 'worth' to have them out of the house, literally tomorrow. If it's $8,000 offer them $5,000 say we will help you pack, you sign this agreement and you leave. Immediately. (Just figure out what your 'max' is, and then negotiate up from a number less than that. If they don't bite, immediately move to evict. Give notice, whatever. You MAY wish to hire an attorney to be present and draft the cash for keys notice/eviction. It takes some of the emotion out of it for you, and can certainly help them to realize you're not kidding around. Figure $500 for a lawyer, 1-2 hours and the preparation of paperwork. The advantage also would be then that they need to talk to your attorney regarding anything as well, once again removing you from the middle. That *is* legal, but they have to agree to it. Otherwise, you will have to file for eviction (give notice etc). Most people don't want an eviction, so cash for keys may be attractive. Tell them the money will be paid IN CASH. But they must sign the paperwork before the cash crosses the table. Edit to add, I would in your case only give the cash (or have them pick it up a the attorney office) once they are OUT of the house. Don't want to give it over, then they 'reconsider' or want to renegotiate. | 0 | 13,715 | 19.833333 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09n6s7 | i09nx4z | 1,647,021,408 | 1,647,021,676 | 6 | 66 | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | You need to give them whatever notice is required by tenancy law in your state. Generally, it doesn't matter that they don't have a lease or that they aren't paying anything. They have lived their for four years, that affords them rights. | 0 | 268 | 11 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0admrl | i0ao81w | 1,647,031,835 | 1,647,036,153 | 28 | 40 | Not a lawyer. You need a lawyer that specializes in landlord/tenant law, immediately. Not tomorrow, not next week, right now. Most of this family relationship stuff you're describing is entirely irrelevant to giving you \*legal advice\*. Another reddit sub can help with that, none of the "they moved here, then here, then cheating happened, then.... blah blah blah" -- not relevant here. Your parents need to be served with an eviction notice ASAP. Any delay in this will screw up your ability to move out of your current house and into your new house. No-one wants to buy a home that has squatters living in it that will delay the time-frame for them to move in. And generally, moving into your new home is contingent on being able to sell your current home. You could draft up some kind of eviction notice with an online document, but you also need to make sure this is being handled properly through the courts. Maybe you offer a "cash for keys" situation where you give your deadbeat parents some money in order to encourage them to find a different place to rent ASAP. Either way, you need to get them out of your house #1, and then deal with the rest of your relationship issues once that part is settled. | The relationship histories are not legally relevant. Your parents are your tenants, and you have the duties of a landlord. >My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. I understand his emotional desire to do so. He should not. >My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. She is very probably correct. Not only do you owe her written notice, you cannot remove or exclude her without a court order. Start by posting what state you live in. Despite evidently never paying rent, your parents may be entitled to advance notice that won't end their tenancy until some time in May, let alone give you time to get a court order to evict them. When you have a contentious family relationship with a tenant, it is often best to hire an attorney to handle the eviction. Not only do they know the mechanics and paperwork, but they can't be coerced by guilt. | 0 | 4,318 | 1.428571 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0abajc | i0ao81w | 1,647,030,896 | 1,647,036,153 | 19 | 40 | Check to see if there is a difference in your state between tenants and lodgers. | The relationship histories are not legally relevant. Your parents are your tenants, and you have the duties of a landlord. >My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. I understand his emotional desire to do so. He should not. >My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. She is very probably correct. Not only do you owe her written notice, you cannot remove or exclude her without a court order. Start by posting what state you live in. Despite evidently never paying rent, your parents may be entitled to advance notice that won't end their tenancy until some time in May, let alone give you time to get a court order to evict them. When you have a contentious family relationship with a tenant, it is often best to hire an attorney to handle the eviction. Not only do they know the mechanics and paperwork, but they can't be coerced by guilt. | 0 | 5,257 | 2.105263 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0ao81w | i09n6s7 | 1,647,036,153 | 1,647,021,408 | 40 | 6 | The relationship histories are not legally relevant. Your parents are your tenants, and you have the duties of a landlord. >My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. I understand his emotional desire to do so. He should not. >My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. She is very probably correct. Not only do you owe her written notice, you cannot remove or exclude her without a court order. Start by posting what state you live in. Despite evidently never paying rent, your parents may be entitled to advance notice that won't end their tenancy until some time in May, let alone give you time to get a court order to evict them. When you have a contentious family relationship with a tenant, it is often best to hire an attorney to handle the eviction. Not only do they know the mechanics and paperwork, but they can't be coerced by guilt. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 14,745 | 6.666667 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0abajc | i0admrl | 1,647,030,896 | 1,647,031,835 | 19 | 28 | Check to see if there is a difference in your state between tenants and lodgers. | Not a lawyer. You need a lawyer that specializes in landlord/tenant law, immediately. Not tomorrow, not next week, right now. Most of this family relationship stuff you're describing is entirely irrelevant to giving you \*legal advice\*. Another reddit sub can help with that, none of the "they moved here, then here, then cheating happened, then.... blah blah blah" -- not relevant here. Your parents need to be served with an eviction notice ASAP. Any delay in this will screw up your ability to move out of your current house and into your new house. No-one wants to buy a home that has squatters living in it that will delay the time-frame for them to move in. And generally, moving into your new home is contingent on being able to sell your current home. You could draft up some kind of eviction notice with an online document, but you also need to make sure this is being handled properly through the courts. Maybe you offer a "cash for keys" situation where you give your deadbeat parents some money in order to encourage them to find a different place to rent ASAP. Either way, you need to get them out of your house #1, and then deal with the rest of your relationship issues once that part is settled. | 0 | 939 | 1.473684 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i09n6s7 | i0admrl | 1,647,021,408 | 1,647,031,835 | 6 | 28 | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | Not a lawyer. You need a lawyer that specializes in landlord/tenant law, immediately. Not tomorrow, not next week, right now. Most of this family relationship stuff you're describing is entirely irrelevant to giving you \*legal advice\*. Another reddit sub can help with that, none of the "they moved here, then here, then cheating happened, then.... blah blah blah" -- not relevant here. Your parents need to be served with an eviction notice ASAP. Any delay in this will screw up your ability to move out of your current house and into your new house. No-one wants to buy a home that has squatters living in it that will delay the time-frame for them to move in. And generally, moving into your new home is contingent on being able to sell your current home. You could draft up some kind of eviction notice with an online document, but you also need to make sure this is being handled properly through the courts. Maybe you offer a "cash for keys" situation where you give your deadbeat parents some money in order to encourage them to find a different place to rent ASAP. Either way, you need to get them out of your house #1, and then deal with the rest of your relationship issues once that part is settled. | 0 | 10,427 | 4.666667 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0abajc | i09n6s7 | 1,647,030,896 | 1,647,021,408 | 19 | 6 | Check to see if there is a difference in your state between tenants and lodgers. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 9,488 | 3.166667 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0b4r6q | i09n6s7 | 1,647,043,544 | 1,647,021,408 | 9 | 6 | The landlord / investor secret is lowball cash for keys. You offer them cash to leave. The issue with family is they generally know a lot about your finances so they could try to ask for more. You need to structure the incentive such that they're willing to leave immediately and are completely out of your property. Some ideas: offer minimal cash, like 2k, but also offer to move all their things into a storage locker and pay a months rent etc. The trick is you use this to get them out, and don't pay any more than 1-2mo storage. In any case they are squatting and combative, and liable to the sale of your house. Do not bend over backwards for them, start eviction today and tell them if they accept cash for keys it'll not reflect their permanent record. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 22,136 | 1.5 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0b4r6q | i0arnij | 1,647,043,544 | 1,647,037,617 | 9 | 6 | The landlord / investor secret is lowball cash for keys. You offer them cash to leave. The issue with family is they generally know a lot about your finances so they could try to ask for more. You need to structure the incentive such that they're willing to leave immediately and are completely out of your property. Some ideas: offer minimal cash, like 2k, but also offer to move all their things into a storage locker and pay a months rent etc. The trick is you use this to get them out, and don't pay any more than 1-2mo storage. In any case they are squatting and combative, and liable to the sale of your house. Do not bend over backwards for them, start eviction today and tell them if they accept cash for keys it'll not reflect their permanent record. | Offer "cash for keys" with a date not more than a week away. If they refuse, find a company that serves notices to people (preferably one that has been around for a while), and have both parents served separately with eviction notices. This will ensure that there's a legit record & time stamp of them getting served to prevent an attempt to bring you to court at a later date over illegal eviction due to no notice being received. | 1 | 5,927 | 1.5 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0b88v4 | i09n6s7 | 1,647,045,225 | 1,647,021,408 | 7 | 6 | Not your lawyer. Not licensed in your state. Not giving legal advice. You need a lawyer to properly evict them. Landlord-Tenant laws have become very complicated, especially post-covid. This situation is also complicated by determining their status as defined in your state - Are they tenants? Are they squatters? Are they licensees? Their status will likely determine the notice to which they are entitled and the type of action you will need to file. Choosing incorrectly could get your petition dismissed. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 23,817 | 1.166667 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0b88v4 | i0arnij | 1,647,045,225 | 1,647,037,617 | 7 | 6 | Not your lawyer. Not licensed in your state. Not giving legal advice. You need a lawyer to properly evict them. Landlord-Tenant laws have become very complicated, especially post-covid. This situation is also complicated by determining their status as defined in your state - Are they tenants? Are they squatters? Are they licensees? Their status will likely determine the notice to which they are entitled and the type of action you will need to file. Choosing incorrectly could get your petition dismissed. | Offer "cash for keys" with a date not more than a week away. If they refuse, find a company that serves notices to people (preferably one that has been around for a while), and have both parents served separately with eviction notices. This will ensure that there's a legit record & time stamp of them getting served to prevent an attempt to bring you to court at a later date over illegal eviction due to no notice being received. | 1 | 7,608 | 1.166667 |
tbvu0v | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | My parents have lived in my home rent free for 4 years. I've asked them to move out. My parents lost their home due to foreclosure in 2010. Since then they have moved around a lot: \- they spent the first winter in an RV parked at a friends house. I don't know why they left, but they don't talk to that friend anymore. \- they spent the next winter at my aunt's house in GA, living in a room in her house. They left suddenly, telling me that my aunt and uncle didn't like them being there. My aunt has said they left without notice and never told her why. \- they lived in their RV for the summers at a campground. Since we lived in WI at the time, the campground closed in winter. \- they moved the RV to a piece of property owned by a friend. It stayed there for the next 7 years. \- they bought a really shitty trailer in a mobile home park. They were gonna "fix it up." \- my dad lived with another woman for awhile. He says it was only friendship. My mom says that woman told her it was sexual. \- my dad then stayed permanently at the camper in the woods, with no running water, sewer or electric. \- my mom moved in with me and my husband just before our daughter was born, 6 years ago. \- my dad moved in with us when we bought a larger house to accomodate everyone. The friend sold the land the camper was on and my parents sold the camper. Since they have lived with my husband, my daughter and I, things have been tense. Our relationships have all deteriorated. My husband and I have been seeing a counselor, me individually and us as a couple, for over a year. Finally, I decided that this couldn't continue. I'm miserable, so stressed and don't like being at home. I told my husband we could sell our house, tell my parents they had to find a new place to live. I also talked to my brother, asking him to help our parents find a place to live. He said he would. I told them in January that we would be listing the house in May. Since then, we have found a new house and are closing on it on April 6. We plan to list our house earlier than we thought, more like end of April. I wrote this down on a list of Spring dates and things to do to get the house ready to sell. I gave this to my mom and she read it. She didn't say much, but handed it back to me. I hung the list on the fridge. This past weekend, while my parents were away, we cleaned our yard (which had lots of my mom's things in it) in order to prepare for landscapers. I did not tell her we did this (I should have) and when she got home she was mad. Last night, while I was sleeping, she moved it all back in the yard and it is totally destroyed now. Today, we argued about it. My husband wants us to throw them out immediately. My mom says we have to give her at least 30 days written notice. If we don't, she'll file a claim in small claims court and put a lien on our house. My question is this: how is our relationship catecorized? We have no written lease agreement and the house is only in my and my husband's name. What rights do we have as far as asking and enforcing them to leave (should it come to that) and what rights do they have? TLDR: My parents live in my home. I am selling my home and they need to move out. What rights do we each have in this situation? | i0b9g0b | i0bgcbn | 1,647,045,818 | 1,647,049,249 | 3 | 4 | They are almost certainly legal tenants who you will need to provide an eviction notice to. While you probably could do it without a lawyer, I would recommend one as well to ensure that it's easier for the process to go smoothly. A lawyer can handle a lot of the family drama for you as a neutral third party that doesn't have to worry about guilt trips. You will most likely need to give 30 or 60 days, depending on your state, and may have to go to court if they don't leave at the end. | Whatever you do, even with the short time left in this home, have a locksmith retained to change all your locks right after your parents are gone. We had to do something similar and a friend advised it. It’s a good thing - someone tried to break in our home the day after we changed the locks - to the point there was damage to the door. Luckily the locks held. Never underestimate what people will do. Edit: correction | 0 | 3,431 | 1.333333 |
8mvt5g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Florida] Police officer came to my house saying a neighbor identified me damaging city property Throwaway, sorry if this doesn’t belong here. Please let me know if anything is amiss and I will update/delete the post. About a month ago, city contractors came by and put up a huge, 2 post construction sign at the edge of my neighbor’s lawn - one of those “Road Construction Ahead” type of orange diamond traffic signs. After about 3-4 days, it was taken down by somebody (assuming it wasn’t the city). About 3-4 days afterwards, a new sign was put back up in its place. These neighbors live behind me. My backyard faces a street that houses a row of houses, with their front lawns facing my back lawn. Fast forward to today and I’m in my driveway cleaning out my car. A police officer pulls up, asks to see my ID, what I’m doing, and if my backyard connects to the street the sign was put up. I explain that it does. He then proceeds to ask me about the sign, specifically saying “Why’d you do it?” I asked him to explain, and he said “the sign isn’t even in your yard, why would you take it down?” I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, that the sign was up, then down, then up again. He went on to tell me that a neighbor (he didn’t specify which neighbor) said he could specifically identify me out of a lineup. I told the officer that perhaps the neighbor was mistaken, or perhaps there’s something else going on as I am the only renter in the neighborhood, which has caused some of my neighbors to get miffed (no clue why, but they seem to take issue with it). Before the officer left my driveway he said he would have to follow up with the neighbor for another description of the person who took the sign down. I didn’t say much of anything to the officer, but after he left I started getting a bit worried/anxious. Do I have anything to be concerned about? Do I need to sit down with an attorney? I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them (I know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bag, but I am wary of the entire institution). Basically, do I need to be concerned? And if so, what should I do? | dzqw3m2 | dzr1ikg | 1,527,566,875 | 1,527,574,790 | 56 | 100 | Sounds like cop could be acting like he knows it was you to get you to confess if it had been you. He might try the tactic with the other neighbor(s) to see if someone confesses because they think he cop already knows. | The cop was lying. There's no neighbors IDing you. He was hoping you'd confess like a dumbass. Don't talk to police. Refuse to answer questions. | 0 | 7,915 | 1.785714 |
8mvt5g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Florida] Police officer came to my house saying a neighbor identified me damaging city property Throwaway, sorry if this doesn’t belong here. Please let me know if anything is amiss and I will update/delete the post. About a month ago, city contractors came by and put up a huge, 2 post construction sign at the edge of my neighbor’s lawn - one of those “Road Construction Ahead” type of orange diamond traffic signs. After about 3-4 days, it was taken down by somebody (assuming it wasn’t the city). About 3-4 days afterwards, a new sign was put back up in its place. These neighbors live behind me. My backyard faces a street that houses a row of houses, with their front lawns facing my back lawn. Fast forward to today and I’m in my driveway cleaning out my car. A police officer pulls up, asks to see my ID, what I’m doing, and if my backyard connects to the street the sign was put up. I explain that it does. He then proceeds to ask me about the sign, specifically saying “Why’d you do it?” I asked him to explain, and he said “the sign isn’t even in your yard, why would you take it down?” I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, that the sign was up, then down, then up again. He went on to tell me that a neighbor (he didn’t specify which neighbor) said he could specifically identify me out of a lineup. I told the officer that perhaps the neighbor was mistaken, or perhaps there’s something else going on as I am the only renter in the neighborhood, which has caused some of my neighbors to get miffed (no clue why, but they seem to take issue with it). Before the officer left my driveway he said he would have to follow up with the neighbor for another description of the person who took the sign down. I didn’t say much of anything to the officer, but after he left I started getting a bit worried/anxious. Do I have anything to be concerned about? Do I need to sit down with an attorney? I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them (I know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bag, but I am wary of the entire institution). Basically, do I need to be concerned? And if so, what should I do? | dzrjslz | dzrircz | 1,527,604,250 | 1,527,603,223 | 22 | 4 | > (I know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bag, but I am wary of the entire institution) Just commenting to say that you seem to be mistaken; the saying is precisely that "one bad apple *does* spoil the [bag|bunch|barrel]," and the saying is indeed applicable to the institution of law enforcement in the US, despite what people try to say. | He's fishing ha | 1 | 1,027 | 5.5 |
8mvt5g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Florida] Police officer came to my house saying a neighbor identified me damaging city property Throwaway, sorry if this doesn’t belong here. Please let me know if anything is amiss and I will update/delete the post. About a month ago, city contractors came by and put up a huge, 2 post construction sign at the edge of my neighbor’s lawn - one of those “Road Construction Ahead” type of orange diamond traffic signs. After about 3-4 days, it was taken down by somebody (assuming it wasn’t the city). About 3-4 days afterwards, a new sign was put back up in its place. These neighbors live behind me. My backyard faces a street that houses a row of houses, with their front lawns facing my back lawn. Fast forward to today and I’m in my driveway cleaning out my car. A police officer pulls up, asks to see my ID, what I’m doing, and if my backyard connects to the street the sign was put up. I explain that it does. He then proceeds to ask me about the sign, specifically saying “Why’d you do it?” I asked him to explain, and he said “the sign isn’t even in your yard, why would you take it down?” I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, that the sign was up, then down, then up again. He went on to tell me that a neighbor (he didn’t specify which neighbor) said he could specifically identify me out of a lineup. I told the officer that perhaps the neighbor was mistaken, or perhaps there’s something else going on as I am the only renter in the neighborhood, which has caused some of my neighbors to get miffed (no clue why, but they seem to take issue with it). Before the officer left my driveway he said he would have to follow up with the neighbor for another description of the person who took the sign down. I didn’t say much of anything to the officer, but after he left I started getting a bit worried/anxious. Do I have anything to be concerned about? Do I need to sit down with an attorney? I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them (I know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bag, but I am wary of the entire institution). Basically, do I need to be concerned? And if so, what should I do? | dzrjslz | dzrc07t | 1,527,604,250 | 1,527,595,214 | 22 | 3 | > (I know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bag, but I am wary of the entire institution) Just commenting to say that you seem to be mistaken; the saying is precisely that "one bad apple *does* spoil the [bag|bunch|barrel]," and the saying is indeed applicable to the institution of law enforcement in the US, despite what people try to say. | > I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them Surprised you IDd and spoke to him while on your own property. I'd just decline the interaction and go inside and I'd recommend you do that going forward unless officially arrested or served with some sort of papers. | 1 | 9,036 | 7.333333 |
8mvt5g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Florida] Police officer came to my house saying a neighbor identified me damaging city property Throwaway, sorry if this doesn’t belong here. Please let me know if anything is amiss and I will update/delete the post. About a month ago, city contractors came by and put up a huge, 2 post construction sign at the edge of my neighbor’s lawn - one of those “Road Construction Ahead” type of orange diamond traffic signs. After about 3-4 days, it was taken down by somebody (assuming it wasn’t the city). About 3-4 days afterwards, a new sign was put back up in its place. These neighbors live behind me. My backyard faces a street that houses a row of houses, with their front lawns facing my back lawn. Fast forward to today and I’m in my driveway cleaning out my car. A police officer pulls up, asks to see my ID, what I’m doing, and if my backyard connects to the street the sign was put up. I explain that it does. He then proceeds to ask me about the sign, specifically saying “Why’d you do it?” I asked him to explain, and he said “the sign isn’t even in your yard, why would you take it down?” I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, that the sign was up, then down, then up again. He went on to tell me that a neighbor (he didn’t specify which neighbor) said he could specifically identify me out of a lineup. I told the officer that perhaps the neighbor was mistaken, or perhaps there’s something else going on as I am the only renter in the neighborhood, which has caused some of my neighbors to get miffed (no clue why, but they seem to take issue with it). Before the officer left my driveway he said he would have to follow up with the neighbor for another description of the person who took the sign down. I didn’t say much of anything to the officer, but after he left I started getting a bit worried/anxious. Do I have anything to be concerned about? Do I need to sit down with an attorney? I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them (I know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bag, but I am wary of the entire institution). Basically, do I need to be concerned? And if so, what should I do? | dzrsps2 | dzrircz | 1,527,612,235 | 1,527,603,223 | 10 | 4 | "I am the only renter in the neighborhood, which has caused some of my neighbors to get miffed (no clue why, but they seem to take issue with it)" Some property owners assume that since they own and you rent, that they are more invested in the neighborhood, and thus you are more likely to be a problem. It is a fairly common bias. Source: My renter neighbors are just the worst. :) | He's fishing ha | 1 | 9,012 | 2.5 |
8mvt5g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Florida] Police officer came to my house saying a neighbor identified me damaging city property Throwaway, sorry if this doesn’t belong here. Please let me know if anything is amiss and I will update/delete the post. About a month ago, city contractors came by and put up a huge, 2 post construction sign at the edge of my neighbor’s lawn - one of those “Road Construction Ahead” type of orange diamond traffic signs. After about 3-4 days, it was taken down by somebody (assuming it wasn’t the city). About 3-4 days afterwards, a new sign was put back up in its place. These neighbors live behind me. My backyard faces a street that houses a row of houses, with their front lawns facing my back lawn. Fast forward to today and I’m in my driveway cleaning out my car. A police officer pulls up, asks to see my ID, what I’m doing, and if my backyard connects to the street the sign was put up. I explain that it does. He then proceeds to ask me about the sign, specifically saying “Why’d you do it?” I asked him to explain, and he said “the sign isn’t even in your yard, why would you take it down?” I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, that the sign was up, then down, then up again. He went on to tell me that a neighbor (he didn’t specify which neighbor) said he could specifically identify me out of a lineup. I told the officer that perhaps the neighbor was mistaken, or perhaps there’s something else going on as I am the only renter in the neighborhood, which has caused some of my neighbors to get miffed (no clue why, but they seem to take issue with it). Before the officer left my driveway he said he would have to follow up with the neighbor for another description of the person who took the sign down. I didn’t say much of anything to the officer, but after he left I started getting a bit worried/anxious. Do I have anything to be concerned about? Do I need to sit down with an attorney? I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them (I know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bag, but I am wary of the entire institution). Basically, do I need to be concerned? And if so, what should I do? | dzrsps2 | dzrc07t | 1,527,612,235 | 1,527,595,214 | 10 | 3 | "I am the only renter in the neighborhood, which has caused some of my neighbors to get miffed (no clue why, but they seem to take issue with it)" Some property owners assume that since they own and you rent, that they are more invested in the neighborhood, and thus you are more likely to be a problem. It is a fairly common bias. Source: My renter neighbors are just the worst. :) | > I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them Surprised you IDd and spoke to him while on your own property. I'd just decline the interaction and go inside and I'd recommend you do that going forward unless officially arrested or served with some sort of papers. | 1 | 17,021 | 3.333333 |
8mvt5g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Florida] Police officer came to my house saying a neighbor identified me damaging city property Throwaway, sorry if this doesn’t belong here. Please let me know if anything is amiss and I will update/delete the post. About a month ago, city contractors came by and put up a huge, 2 post construction sign at the edge of my neighbor’s lawn - one of those “Road Construction Ahead” type of orange diamond traffic signs. After about 3-4 days, it was taken down by somebody (assuming it wasn’t the city). About 3-4 days afterwards, a new sign was put back up in its place. These neighbors live behind me. My backyard faces a street that houses a row of houses, with their front lawns facing my back lawn. Fast forward to today and I’m in my driveway cleaning out my car. A police officer pulls up, asks to see my ID, what I’m doing, and if my backyard connects to the street the sign was put up. I explain that it does. He then proceeds to ask me about the sign, specifically saying “Why’d you do it?” I asked him to explain, and he said “the sign isn’t even in your yard, why would you take it down?” I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, that the sign was up, then down, then up again. He went on to tell me that a neighbor (he didn’t specify which neighbor) said he could specifically identify me out of a lineup. I told the officer that perhaps the neighbor was mistaken, or perhaps there’s something else going on as I am the only renter in the neighborhood, which has caused some of my neighbors to get miffed (no clue why, but they seem to take issue with it). Before the officer left my driveway he said he would have to follow up with the neighbor for another description of the person who took the sign down. I didn’t say much of anything to the officer, but after he left I started getting a bit worried/anxious. Do I have anything to be concerned about? Do I need to sit down with an attorney? I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them (I know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bag, but I am wary of the entire institution). Basically, do I need to be concerned? And if so, what should I do? | dzruiu9 | dzrircz | 1,527,613,780 | 1,527,603,223 | 7 | 4 | What the cop did is pretty much Standard Operating Procedure for them: They ask you a leading question to get you to confess. As in "Do you know why I pulled you over?" \-\- they want you to confess by saying "Yes, I did this or that." Then they write you a ticket for this or that. So this cop asked "Why'd you do it?" so that you'd come out and confess, "I did it cuz of reason." But good for you, you did not confess. Now he's got to go back and do more legwork. And since they are fishing for a criminal, you are a bit of a suspect. So yea, don't talk to them. Especially don't let yourself be taken down to the station for questioning. | He's fishing ha | 1 | 10,557 | 1.75 |
8mvt5g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Florida] Police officer came to my house saying a neighbor identified me damaging city property Throwaway, sorry if this doesn’t belong here. Please let me know if anything is amiss and I will update/delete the post. About a month ago, city contractors came by and put up a huge, 2 post construction sign at the edge of my neighbor’s lawn - one of those “Road Construction Ahead” type of orange diamond traffic signs. After about 3-4 days, it was taken down by somebody (assuming it wasn’t the city). About 3-4 days afterwards, a new sign was put back up in its place. These neighbors live behind me. My backyard faces a street that houses a row of houses, with their front lawns facing my back lawn. Fast forward to today and I’m in my driveway cleaning out my car. A police officer pulls up, asks to see my ID, what I’m doing, and if my backyard connects to the street the sign was put up. I explain that it does. He then proceeds to ask me about the sign, specifically saying “Why’d you do it?” I asked him to explain, and he said “the sign isn’t even in your yard, why would you take it down?” I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, that the sign was up, then down, then up again. He went on to tell me that a neighbor (he didn’t specify which neighbor) said he could specifically identify me out of a lineup. I told the officer that perhaps the neighbor was mistaken, or perhaps there’s something else going on as I am the only renter in the neighborhood, which has caused some of my neighbors to get miffed (no clue why, but they seem to take issue with it). Before the officer left my driveway he said he would have to follow up with the neighbor for another description of the person who took the sign down. I didn’t say much of anything to the officer, but after he left I started getting a bit worried/anxious. Do I have anything to be concerned about? Do I need to sit down with an attorney? I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them (I know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bag, but I am wary of the entire institution). Basically, do I need to be concerned? And if so, what should I do? | dzrircz | dzrc07t | 1,527,603,223 | 1,527,595,214 | 4 | 3 | He's fishing ha | > I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them Surprised you IDd and spoke to him while on your own property. I'd just decline the interaction and go inside and I'd recommend you do that going forward unless officially arrested or served with some sort of papers. | 1 | 8,009 | 1.333333 |
8mvt5g | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | [Florida] Police officer came to my house saying a neighbor identified me damaging city property Throwaway, sorry if this doesn’t belong here. Please let me know if anything is amiss and I will update/delete the post. About a month ago, city contractors came by and put up a huge, 2 post construction sign at the edge of my neighbor’s lawn - one of those “Road Construction Ahead” type of orange diamond traffic signs. After about 3-4 days, it was taken down by somebody (assuming it wasn’t the city). About 3-4 days afterwards, a new sign was put back up in its place. These neighbors live behind me. My backyard faces a street that houses a row of houses, with their front lawns facing my back lawn. Fast forward to today and I’m in my driveway cleaning out my car. A police officer pulls up, asks to see my ID, what I’m doing, and if my backyard connects to the street the sign was put up. I explain that it does. He then proceeds to ask me about the sign, specifically saying “Why’d you do it?” I asked him to explain, and he said “the sign isn’t even in your yard, why would you take it down?” I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, that the sign was up, then down, then up again. He went on to tell me that a neighbor (he didn’t specify which neighbor) said he could specifically identify me out of a lineup. I told the officer that perhaps the neighbor was mistaken, or perhaps there’s something else going on as I am the only renter in the neighborhood, which has caused some of my neighbors to get miffed (no clue why, but they seem to take issue with it). Before the officer left my driveway he said he would have to follow up with the neighbor for another description of the person who took the sign down. I didn’t say much of anything to the officer, but after he left I started getting a bit worried/anxious. Do I have anything to be concerned about? Do I need to sit down with an attorney? I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them (I know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the bag, but I am wary of the entire institution). Basically, do I need to be concerned? And if so, what should I do? | dzrc07t | dzruiu9 | 1,527,595,214 | 1,527,613,780 | 3 | 7 | > I already have a fear of police and do not trust many of them Surprised you IDd and spoke to him while on your own property. I'd just decline the interaction and go inside and I'd recommend you do that going forward unless officially arrested or served with some sort of papers. | What the cop did is pretty much Standard Operating Procedure for them: They ask you a leading question to get you to confess. As in "Do you know why I pulled you over?" \-\- they want you to confess by saying "Yes, I did this or that." Then they write you a ticket for this or that. So this cop asked "Why'd you do it?" so that you'd come out and confess, "I did it cuz of reason." But good for you, you did not confess. Now he's got to go back and do more legwork. And since they are fishing for a criminal, you are a bit of a suspect. So yea, don't talk to them. Especially don't let yourself be taken down to the station for questioning. | 0 | 18,566 | 2.333333 |
j06q7u | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Bought a car over a week ago from a dealership. Everything was signed, I got insurance for it, and then I got a call from the dealership last night saying I owe them an additional $2,600....... So like the title says, I've been driving the car for over a week now. I paid $2,500 down, and the rest was financed through the credit union I bank with. The car salesperson was in direct contact with my credit union, faxing info to them and speaking with them on the phone the day I bought the car. I was told that everything was approved, and I signed all the papers and happily drove home in my new car. Last night, the dealership calls me and says that actually the full amount was NOT covered and we owe them an additional $2,600. I am panicking because I worked so hard to build my credit and be financed through my credit union. I do not have an extra $2,600. He quickly said that he already found a different bank we could go through, but I told him I would need to speak with my bank tomorrow(now today) and that I would call him back. I don't understand how I could sign all the papers and be driving the car all week if it wasn't fully financed..... Something feels very off here. I sent an e-mail directly to the salesperson I had been working with asking for an explanation. She did not reply, but instead her boyfriend(who also works there, but is not the same person who called me) sent me an email back. This is what it said: "We have a approval for the same payment that you signed up at it is just with a different bank. Columbia Credit union. Just need you sign a membership application. We can e-mail it to you if you do not want to come to the dealership. Thanks Jason " So not only was my question dodged completely, but they are trying to push me to another credit union. Something feels off here. Should I just return the car to them? Is there something they aren't telling me? Any insight is very much appreciated. My stomach has been in knots over this. | g6p5s6h | g6pr492 | 1,601,139,061 | 1,601,149,394 | 2 | 5 | This kind of thing comes up on /r/legaladvice more often than you would think. There are some some rare cases where the dealership can modify the terms of the sale after the fact, but those usually involve provisional financing approval that could fall through several days after the completion of the sale. Since you brought your own financing to the table, this seems pretty unlikely. The best practice in any situation like this is to ignore the dealership, communicate only in writing if you have to communicate at all, and of course consult an attorney if you feel the need. Lawyers are not exactly cheap, but paying for an hour or two of time can often save you lots of money and frustration in the end. Often you can get a consultation for little to nothing depending on the details of your case and the state you reside in. | Check the total at the bottom of the sales receipt. Check the amount outstanding on your loan. If they match then the dealer is trying to sucker you in to using their (shittier) financing where they usually receive a substantial, likely near $2600, kickback. | 0 | 10,333 | 2.5 |
yz0oez | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | Mother wants my older brother to move in my house which I do not agree to Sorry if there's bad grammar, English is my second language. The house, in Texas where my mother and I lived, is currently under my name, my mother did help with the down payment, but ultimately only my name is under the house. My brother is apparently struggling ( I do not have empathy for his situation because his past made me hold a deep grudge against him), and my mother wants him to move in with us. I express my displeasure and continuously said "NO. I do not want to live under the same roof with that man". She still express an interest in letting him move in with us even after all the conversations we had. What can I do to prevent him from moving in? thank you | iwy80c4 | iwxdvoo | 1,668,841,152 | 1,668,823,016 | 157 | 46 | You need to have a direct conversation with your mother about how she lives in the house as your tenant and you can evict her if it’s not working out. Her inviting your unwanted brother into the house would be a reason for you to start the eviction process on her. Don’t mince words. If this is important to you, set a firm boundary. | It is in your name. You have the complete right to say who lives there. Do not let him stay under any circumstances. Don’t feel guilty because your mother helped you buy it. She has no say in the matter. | 1 | 18,136 | 3.413043 |
yz0oez | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | Mother wants my older brother to move in my house which I do not agree to Sorry if there's bad grammar, English is my second language. The house, in Texas where my mother and I lived, is currently under my name, my mother did help with the down payment, but ultimately only my name is under the house. My brother is apparently struggling ( I do not have empathy for his situation because his past made me hold a deep grudge against him), and my mother wants him to move in with us. I express my displeasure and continuously said "NO. I do not want to live under the same roof with that man". She still express an interest in letting him move in with us even after all the conversations we had. What can I do to prevent him from moving in? thank you | iwytfm6 | iwz5h4s | 1,668,859,649 | 1,668,867,258 | 11 | 31 | Info: Is your mom still living with you? If so, she would be able to invite him over | Tell her that you have eviction papers for HER already prepared. If he shows up, the papers get dated. | 0 | 7,609 | 2.818182 |
yz0oez | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | Mother wants my older brother to move in my house which I do not agree to Sorry if there's bad grammar, English is my second language. The house, in Texas where my mother and I lived, is currently under my name, my mother did help with the down payment, but ultimately only my name is under the house. My brother is apparently struggling ( I do not have empathy for his situation because his past made me hold a deep grudge against him), and my mother wants him to move in with us. I express my displeasure and continuously said "NO. I do not want to live under the same roof with that man". She still express an interest in letting him move in with us even after all the conversations we had. What can I do to prevent him from moving in? thank you | iwz5h4s | iwytx1u | 1,668,867,258 | 1,668,860,017 | 31 | 11 | Tell her that you have eviction papers for HER already prepared. If he shows up, the papers get dated. | If your mother no longer lives there, change the locks and do not let him in. That way she does not have keys, and if he breaks in you can call the police to remove him. If your mother does live there she is a tenant and is allowed guests. Tell her if she moves him in you will evict both of them. Find out your local laws on eviction and include them in the discussion with your mum. E.g., Say something along the lines of "if you move JNBro in, I will evict both of you. The law is I need to give you x days notice, before beginning eviction proceedings. Once you have an eviction on your record it will make it much harder for you and JNBro to rent in the future, as that can come up in any search a prospective landlord does." | 1 | 7,241 | 2.818182 |
yz0oez | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | Mother wants my older brother to move in my house which I do not agree to Sorry if there's bad grammar, English is my second language. The house, in Texas where my mother and I lived, is currently under my name, my mother did help with the down payment, but ultimately only my name is under the house. My brother is apparently struggling ( I do not have empathy for his situation because his past made me hold a deep grudge against him), and my mother wants him to move in with us. I express my displeasure and continuously said "NO. I do not want to live under the same roof with that man". She still express an interest in letting him move in with us even after all the conversations we had. What can I do to prevent him from moving in? thank you | iwz8bzf | ix03vv3 | 1,668,868,734 | 1,668,882,698 | 2 | 5 | Once he does move in - good luck with eviction | >What can I do to prevent him from moving in? Kick you mother out. Really. Otherwise you run into the legal issue that your mother, as a tenant lawfully residing in your house (even if there's no lease, even if she's not paying rent) would generally have the right to invite others into the space she resides in as she sees fit, unless there is some lease prohibiting her from doing that. | 0 | 13,964 | 2.5 |
7x78re | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | I [f25] sent my father [56] to jail for beating my mother [57] senseless tonight. I'm afraid of the legal consequences, retaliation and shared assets. I have no money, they are on the deed to my house. Cross post First posted in r/relationship. My parents are both bad alcoholics and have been staying with my for the past few days to visit. tonight my father beat my mother for a good 30 minutes. I tried to get him off her, using force and then he came after me. I took my dog and ran into my back yard where he locked me out of the house. As I called 911 I had to hear my mother scream, cry and get beat as I helplessly stand outside in the rain. Cops show up. There's a bit of a resistant with my dad, he's finally arrested and off to jail. My mother is a mess, saying "she fell". He's such a good father. Don't take him to jail. Tell them, coffeeandstuff, tell them everything's okay. I told the police the truth. Was questioned left a statement. My mom refused medical treatment even though she couldn't walk. She started to blame me. Said I was a shitty daughter for doing this to them. I packed a bag, too my dog and left to go to my best friend's house an hour away. My father is a vindictive and vengeful man. When he is released from jail I fully expect him to come after me and ruin everything I own. I have a co-signed loan with my mom on the house. My name is also in the deed along with her and my father. Everything in that house is mine and I've worked so hard to build up a life for myself. In fact, this fall I was planning on having everything soley in my name. I expect to finally come home to absolutely nothing and even vandalism. I expect him to fully retaliate. I semi fear for my well being and my dogs, but mostly I'm worried about my assets and my mother. I'm going to see a lawyer first thing. The police recommended a restraining order. Things have gotten bad on the past. Never this. I'm not sure what to do. I feel so lost. I'm worried I won't have a house tomorrow. Or parents. Or anything. [TL;DR] dad beat my mom senseless and I called 911 fearing for her life. Father is very revengeful and I'm afraid of a full retaliation again me, my house and my assets. I'm not sure what steps to take. I want to protect myself, my mom and my dog | du63xfb | du6mobj | 1,518,503,505 | 1,518,536,804 | 25 | 28 | Contact a woman's shelter or domestic abuse support group in your area. They should be able to provide you with local resources and a list of lawyers experienced in this area. Some of those people will have been through very similar experiences and can help you navigate this. | Extending on your stuff. While your dad is in jail use your phone camera and do a full walkthrough your house. Video record everything, brief description of everything/anything of reasonable value (you decide what's reasonable). If you're nervous about your dad showing up while recording at a minimum have a friend or two with you, better would be an officer if they're willing. Take this recording and make at least 2 copies in addition to the one on your phone. Give one copy to a friend, a second copy somewhere secure (safety deposit box, hidden in the trunk of your car, etc.). So now if your dad comes back and breaks anything you'll at a minimum have something to show your homeowners insurance company; better would be an attorney that would be able to go after him for destruction of property; best would be the police for vandalism. | 0 | 33,299 | 1.12 |
7x78re | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | I [f25] sent my father [56] to jail for beating my mother [57] senseless tonight. I'm afraid of the legal consequences, retaliation and shared assets. I have no money, they are on the deed to my house. Cross post First posted in r/relationship. My parents are both bad alcoholics and have been staying with my for the past few days to visit. tonight my father beat my mother for a good 30 minutes. I tried to get him off her, using force and then he came after me. I took my dog and ran into my back yard where he locked me out of the house. As I called 911 I had to hear my mother scream, cry and get beat as I helplessly stand outside in the rain. Cops show up. There's a bit of a resistant with my dad, he's finally arrested and off to jail. My mother is a mess, saying "she fell". He's such a good father. Don't take him to jail. Tell them, coffeeandstuff, tell them everything's okay. I told the police the truth. Was questioned left a statement. My mom refused medical treatment even though she couldn't walk. She started to blame me. Said I was a shitty daughter for doing this to them. I packed a bag, too my dog and left to go to my best friend's house an hour away. My father is a vindictive and vengeful man. When he is released from jail I fully expect him to come after me and ruin everything I own. I have a co-signed loan with my mom on the house. My name is also in the deed along with her and my father. Everything in that house is mine and I've worked so hard to build up a life for myself. In fact, this fall I was planning on having everything soley in my name. I expect to finally come home to absolutely nothing and even vandalism. I expect him to fully retaliate. I semi fear for my well being and my dogs, but mostly I'm worried about my assets and my mother. I'm going to see a lawyer first thing. The police recommended a restraining order. Things have gotten bad on the past. Never this. I'm not sure what to do. I feel so lost. I'm worried I won't have a house tomorrow. Or parents. Or anything. [TL;DR] dad beat my mom senseless and I called 911 fearing for her life. Father is very revengeful and I'm afraid of a full retaliation again me, my house and my assets. I'm not sure what steps to take. I want to protect myself, my mom and my dog | du6mobj | du6h48v | 1,518,536,804 | 1,518,530,648 | 28 | 17 | Extending on your stuff. While your dad is in jail use your phone camera and do a full walkthrough your house. Video record everything, brief description of everything/anything of reasonable value (you decide what's reasonable). If you're nervous about your dad showing up while recording at a minimum have a friend or two with you, better would be an officer if they're willing. Take this recording and make at least 2 copies in addition to the one on your phone. Give one copy to a friend, a second copy somewhere secure (safety deposit box, hidden in the trunk of your car, etc.). So now if your dad comes back and breaks anything you'll at a minimum have something to show your homeowners insurance company; better would be an attorney that would be able to go after him for destruction of property; best would be the police for vandalism. | This isn't legal advice exactly, but if you have a place to stay elsewhere, then anything that's in that house that is legally yours, you might be want to put into a storage unit, assuming you could afford one(or, see if I friend has a she'd you could store some things in, maybe?). That should protect them from being vandalized by your parents, if you're really concerned they'll retaliate like that. And, if you're consulting a lawyer, they can outline exactly what you're allowed to move, if there's *any* concern there. I suspect the other posters here can probably give you a good idea to start with too, and they've already outlined a lot of other resources and options for you. | 1 | 6,156 | 1.647059 |
7x78re | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | I [f25] sent my father [56] to jail for beating my mother [57] senseless tonight. I'm afraid of the legal consequences, retaliation and shared assets. I have no money, they are on the deed to my house. Cross post First posted in r/relationship. My parents are both bad alcoholics and have been staying with my for the past few days to visit. tonight my father beat my mother for a good 30 minutes. I tried to get him off her, using force and then he came after me. I took my dog and ran into my back yard where he locked me out of the house. As I called 911 I had to hear my mother scream, cry and get beat as I helplessly stand outside in the rain. Cops show up. There's a bit of a resistant with my dad, he's finally arrested and off to jail. My mother is a mess, saying "she fell". He's such a good father. Don't take him to jail. Tell them, coffeeandstuff, tell them everything's okay. I told the police the truth. Was questioned left a statement. My mom refused medical treatment even though she couldn't walk. She started to blame me. Said I was a shitty daughter for doing this to them. I packed a bag, too my dog and left to go to my best friend's house an hour away. My father is a vindictive and vengeful man. When he is released from jail I fully expect him to come after me and ruin everything I own. I have a co-signed loan with my mom on the house. My name is also in the deed along with her and my father. Everything in that house is mine and I've worked so hard to build up a life for myself. In fact, this fall I was planning on having everything soley in my name. I expect to finally come home to absolutely nothing and even vandalism. I expect him to fully retaliate. I semi fear for my well being and my dogs, but mostly I'm worried about my assets and my mother. I'm going to see a lawyer first thing. The police recommended a restraining order. Things have gotten bad on the past. Never this. I'm not sure what to do. I feel so lost. I'm worried I won't have a house tomorrow. Or parents. Or anything. [TL;DR] dad beat my mom senseless and I called 911 fearing for her life. Father is very revengeful and I'm afraid of a full retaliation again me, my house and my assets. I'm not sure what steps to take. I want to protect myself, my mom and my dog | du6mobj | du6c1h9 | 1,518,536,804 | 1,518,522,387 | 28 | 7 | Extending on your stuff. While your dad is in jail use your phone camera and do a full walkthrough your house. Video record everything, brief description of everything/anything of reasonable value (you decide what's reasonable). If you're nervous about your dad showing up while recording at a minimum have a friend or two with you, better would be an officer if they're willing. Take this recording and make at least 2 copies in addition to the one on your phone. Give one copy to a friend, a second copy somewhere secure (safety deposit box, hidden in the trunk of your car, etc.). So now if your dad comes back and breaks anything you'll at a minimum have something to show your homeowners insurance company; better would be an attorney that would be able to go after him for destruction of property; best would be the police for vandalism. | You did the right thing, and the alternatives, in the long run, would have been much worse. For your safety, a restraining order. It also doesn't hurt to voice your concerns to the police. For your economy, lawyer up. | 1 | 14,417 | 4 |
7x78re | legaladvice_train | 0.92 | I [f25] sent my father [56] to jail for beating my mother [57] senseless tonight. I'm afraid of the legal consequences, retaliation and shared assets. I have no money, they are on the deed to my house. Cross post First posted in r/relationship. My parents are both bad alcoholics and have been staying with my for the past few days to visit. tonight my father beat my mother for a good 30 minutes. I tried to get him off her, using force and then he came after me. I took my dog and ran into my back yard where he locked me out of the house. As I called 911 I had to hear my mother scream, cry and get beat as I helplessly stand outside in the rain. Cops show up. There's a bit of a resistant with my dad, he's finally arrested and off to jail. My mother is a mess, saying "she fell". He's such a good father. Don't take him to jail. Tell them, coffeeandstuff, tell them everything's okay. I told the police the truth. Was questioned left a statement. My mom refused medical treatment even though she couldn't walk. She started to blame me. Said I was a shitty daughter for doing this to them. I packed a bag, too my dog and left to go to my best friend's house an hour away. My father is a vindictive and vengeful man. When he is released from jail I fully expect him to come after me and ruin everything I own. I have a co-signed loan with my mom on the house. My name is also in the deed along with her and my father. Everything in that house is mine and I've worked so hard to build up a life for myself. In fact, this fall I was planning on having everything soley in my name. I expect to finally come home to absolutely nothing and even vandalism. I expect him to fully retaliate. I semi fear for my well being and my dogs, but mostly I'm worried about my assets and my mother. I'm going to see a lawyer first thing. The police recommended a restraining order. Things have gotten bad on the past. Never this. I'm not sure what to do. I feel so lost. I'm worried I won't have a house tomorrow. Or parents. Or anything. [TL;DR] dad beat my mom senseless and I called 911 fearing for her life. Father is very revengeful and I'm afraid of a full retaliation again me, my house and my assets. I'm not sure what steps to take. I want to protect myself, my mom and my dog | du6h48v | du6c1h9 | 1,518,530,648 | 1,518,522,387 | 17 | 7 | This isn't legal advice exactly, but if you have a place to stay elsewhere, then anything that's in that house that is legally yours, you might be want to put into a storage unit, assuming you could afford one(or, see if I friend has a she'd you could store some things in, maybe?). That should protect them from being vandalized by your parents, if you're really concerned they'll retaliate like that. And, if you're consulting a lawyer, they can outline exactly what you're allowed to move, if there's *any* concern there. I suspect the other posters here can probably give you a good idea to start with too, and they've already outlined a lot of other resources and options for you. | You did the right thing, and the alternatives, in the long run, would have been much worse. For your safety, a restraining order. It also doesn't hurt to voice your concerns to the police. For your economy, lawyer up. | 1 | 8,261 | 2.428571 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i06jb7p | i065d19 | 1,646,960,132 | 1,646,953,853 | 385 | 159 | > If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. A criminal no-contact order is pretty default with parolees, if he contacts or attempts to contacts his victims then it's a parole violation. Not sure if your state has an indefinite no-contact order but worth talking to the prosecutor about it and attaching it to the plea deal if available. In states which have this he wouldn't be able to contact your children without a court agreeing (and your children consenting) for the rest of his life. | >Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? Because the United States Constitution requires it. >The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? I've never heard of allowing the victim (or the victim's parent when it comes to children) to make an OFF the record statement at sentencing. ON the record, sure, off the record never. | 1 | 6,279 | 2.421384 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i077bz8 | i065d19 | 1,646,971,411 | 1,646,953,853 | 215 | 159 | I am a prosecutor who handles these types of crimes. However, judging by your terminology, I am NOT an attorney in your state/jurisdiction and am not qualified to give legal advice here, so this is NOT legal advice. Reading what you wrote felt like reading the same exact conversation I have with victims every single day. Down to the "ultimately it's up to me to decide and that burden is not on you." And especially the balancing act between trying to get a high sentence and not wanting to retraumatize victims. You are an AMAZING parent to be processing this the way that you are. Talk to the prosecutor about your concerns! There may be a restraining order or other no contact order to alleviate your concerns about parole. As a victim's guardian you may have the right to address parole board hearings - get that info now. Be upfront with the prosecutor about 2 things - what your ideal amount of time is, and what your bottom line is. The bottom line is the point at which your rather go to trial, have your kids testify, and know that you could lose, rather than him getting below x. Maybe that number is 20, maybe it's 30, maybe it's 5. Then trust the prosecutor to fight like hell for the largest number they can get. This prosecutor sounds like they are looking out for your kids' best interest and knows what they are doing. If they are recommending a number, they have a reason. | >Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? Because the United States Constitution requires it. >The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? I've never heard of allowing the victim (or the victim's parent when it comes to children) to make an OFF the record statement at sentencing. ON the record, sure, off the record never. | 1 | 17,558 | 1.352201 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i06vixq | i077bz8 | 1,646,965,683 | 1,646,971,411 | 88 | 215 | Attorney. not licensed in your state and not providing legal advice. I have interned briefly in the DA’s office of a big city so I will share what I can. 1. Yes they will. The constitution guarantees defendants the right to confront opposing witnesses at trial. In this case, that includes your girls because they will be subpoenaed by one side or the other to testify. This is a great constitutional right in many circumstances because it means someone wrongfully prosecuted for a crime has the ability (through her/his lawyer) to poke holes in a witness’s story. In this case, and in many assault cases, it is a tragedy. I can’t imagine the bravery of victims who have to look their assailant in the face and subject themselves to an attorney on cross-examination. I’m sorry. 2. In various states/districts, judges can choose to listen to victims after entering a sentence. I imagine this is what is being discussed. In the only example of this I can think of, a kid was shot and killed and his family got to speak to the judge after she entered a sentence of 20 years for his killer. The family basically took the stand and talked to the judge about the kid and cried to her and told her the sentence wasn’t enough. The defendant was in the courtroom at the time. This was not part of the trial. It was basically a way for the victim’s family to vent and have their stories heard (and with no cross examination by the defense). But obviously given that it was post-sentencing it had no other practical impact. The defendant sat there with a blank look on his face the whole time. I do not remember what this was called. As a side note, this strongly influenced my desire to no longer work in criminal law. I don’t have the stomach for it. I’m happy to answer any other questions I can. You’re a good mom and I’m so so so sorry you and your girls are going through this. | I am a prosecutor who handles these types of crimes. However, judging by your terminology, I am NOT an attorney in your state/jurisdiction and am not qualified to give legal advice here, so this is NOT legal advice. Reading what you wrote felt like reading the same exact conversation I have with victims every single day. Down to the "ultimately it's up to me to decide and that burden is not on you." And especially the balancing act between trying to get a high sentence and not wanting to retraumatize victims. You are an AMAZING parent to be processing this the way that you are. Talk to the prosecutor about your concerns! There may be a restraining order or other no contact order to alleviate your concerns about parole. As a victim's guardian you may have the right to address parole board hearings - get that info now. Be upfront with the prosecutor about 2 things - what your ideal amount of time is, and what your bottom line is. The bottom line is the point at which your rather go to trial, have your kids testify, and know that you could lose, rather than him getting below x. Maybe that number is 20, maybe it's 30, maybe it's 5. Then trust the prosecutor to fight like hell for the largest number they can get. This prosecutor sounds like they are looking out for your kids' best interest and knows what they are doing. If they are recommending a number, they have a reason. | 0 | 5,728 | 2.443182 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i077bz8 | i06vtlz | 1,646,971,411 | 1,646,965,820 | 215 | 2 | I am a prosecutor who handles these types of crimes. However, judging by your terminology, I am NOT an attorney in your state/jurisdiction and am not qualified to give legal advice here, so this is NOT legal advice. Reading what you wrote felt like reading the same exact conversation I have with victims every single day. Down to the "ultimately it's up to me to decide and that burden is not on you." And especially the balancing act between trying to get a high sentence and not wanting to retraumatize victims. You are an AMAZING parent to be processing this the way that you are. Talk to the prosecutor about your concerns! There may be a restraining order or other no contact order to alleviate your concerns about parole. As a victim's guardian you may have the right to address parole board hearings - get that info now. Be upfront with the prosecutor about 2 things - what your ideal amount of time is, and what your bottom line is. The bottom line is the point at which your rather go to trial, have your kids testify, and know that you could lose, rather than him getting below x. Maybe that number is 20, maybe it's 30, maybe it's 5. Then trust the prosecutor to fight like hell for the largest number they can get. This prosecutor sounds like they are looking out for your kids' best interest and knows what they are doing. If they are recommending a number, they have a reason. | I did not see what state the case is in. States have different statues as based on age how testimony is given. The prosecutor will prepare the witness for court. Ask as many questions as you can. If there is a victim's advocacy resource, ask about that. Judges will usually ask for a no contact order. Make sure that you are on the notification system (they will notify if a parollee is released).you may also ask to be notified when the parole hearing is, so you can argue against that (depending on state, ask about that). Ask also if CCTV can be used, what options are available. If the victim is up for it, wants to testify, every measure will be taken to prepare them. Working with a therapist (play therapy, etc) can help. | 1 | 5,591 | 107.5 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i08ckbf | i08rvrp | 1,647,000,839 | 1,647,008,921 | 8 | 10 | Some places allow child victims to testify over closed circuit TV, with just the judge, the prosecutor, and the defense attorney in the room, and the proceedings being broadcast to the courtroom. Maybe see if your jurisdiction has something like that? If not, and you want to go to trial, contact your local BACA chapter (Bikers Against Child Abuse). They'll come meet with you, meet your kids, be available for them, and the biggest, burliest, most intimidating bikers (who your kids will see as giant teddy bears) will come to the trial and sit in the front row so your daughter can look at them instead of her abuser while being questioned. https://bacaworld.org/ | I want to talk to you a bit from the other side of the coin on parole in 10 years: 1.) There's no guarantee he will get parole in 10 years, or at all. There are so many ways that prisoners screw themselves out of parole. In the case of people accused of sexual abuse, talking about revenge/seeing your daughters again could be enough alone. It depends greatly on your state, their actions, and who is on the parole board. 2.) Your state's parole board may allow you to petition against his release and again request a no-contact order as part of the process. That would also give you a chance to gauge what your risks are. 3.) It's important to understand that the calculus of a plea deal is that the defendant will actually accept it. Demanding 10 more years has a decent risk that he doesn't accept the deal, goes to trial, forces your daughters to testify, ***and potentially beats the charge completely.*** I wish you and your daughters the best, and they are lucky to have a parent fighting so hard for them. | 0 | 8,082 | 1.25 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i08qaqo | i08rvrp | 1,647,008,205 | 1,647,008,921 | 7 | 10 | I am a prosecutor and judging by everything you’ve written I am pretty confident I’m a prosecutor in the same state. As such I don’t want to overstep but I’ve had these exact same convos many times and just want to add a couple things. The allocution is completely off the record and there shouldn’t be any examples or recordings for you to watch/read. But this is your chance to get the last word. You can’t direct it at the judge, attorneys or the legal system but as far as toward him, you pretty much have free reign. I’ve read them before for victims that didn’t feel comfortable. You can write it or just get up and speak from the heart. Another thing, if I’m correct in thinking you’re from Texas, if there isn’t a lifetime protective order already in place, it’s mandatory for the prosecutor to file for and for the judge to grant a lifetime protective order for the girls once he’s convicted so just one small additional layer. Violating that is, in itself, a new offense. | I want to talk to you a bit from the other side of the coin on parole in 10 years: 1.) There's no guarantee he will get parole in 10 years, or at all. There are so many ways that prisoners screw themselves out of parole. In the case of people accused of sexual abuse, talking about revenge/seeing your daughters again could be enough alone. It depends greatly on your state, their actions, and who is on the parole board. 2.) Your state's parole board may allow you to petition against his release and again request a no-contact order as part of the process. That would also give you a chance to gauge what your risks are. 3.) It's important to understand that the calculus of a plea deal is that the defendant will actually accept it. Demanding 10 more years has a decent risk that he doesn't accept the deal, goes to trial, forces your daughters to testify, ***and potentially beats the charge completely.*** I wish you and your daughters the best, and they are lucky to have a parent fighting so hard for them. | 0 | 716 | 1.428571 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i080fid | i08rvrp | 1,646,991,346 | 1,647,008,921 | 4 | 10 | Parole is a variable term. One person's parole can be different from someone else's. Make sure that parole includes a no contact order. Make sure that parole includes a stay in the state order and move to a different state yourself. I do think it's a good thing if your kids can avoid court. It's a horrible thing to put kids through. | I want to talk to you a bit from the other side of the coin on parole in 10 years: 1.) There's no guarantee he will get parole in 10 years, or at all. There are so many ways that prisoners screw themselves out of parole. In the case of people accused of sexual abuse, talking about revenge/seeing your daughters again could be enough alone. It depends greatly on your state, their actions, and who is on the parole board. 2.) Your state's parole board may allow you to petition against his release and again request a no-contact order as part of the process. That would also give you a chance to gauge what your risks are. 3.) It's important to understand that the calculus of a plea deal is that the defendant will actually accept it. Demanding 10 more years has a decent risk that he doesn't accept the deal, goes to trial, forces your daughters to testify, ***and potentially beats the charge completely.*** I wish you and your daughters the best, and they are lucky to have a parent fighting so hard for them. | 0 | 17,575 | 2.5 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i08rvrp | i06vtlz | 1,647,008,921 | 1,646,965,820 | 10 | 2 | I want to talk to you a bit from the other side of the coin on parole in 10 years: 1.) There's no guarantee he will get parole in 10 years, or at all. There are so many ways that prisoners screw themselves out of parole. In the case of people accused of sexual abuse, talking about revenge/seeing your daughters again could be enough alone. It depends greatly on your state, their actions, and who is on the parole board. 2.) Your state's parole board may allow you to petition against his release and again request a no-contact order as part of the process. That would also give you a chance to gauge what your risks are. 3.) It's important to understand that the calculus of a plea deal is that the defendant will actually accept it. Demanding 10 more years has a decent risk that he doesn't accept the deal, goes to trial, forces your daughters to testify, ***and potentially beats the charge completely.*** I wish you and your daughters the best, and they are lucky to have a parent fighting so hard for them. | I did not see what state the case is in. States have different statues as based on age how testimony is given. The prosecutor will prepare the witness for court. Ask as many questions as you can. If there is a victim's advocacy resource, ask about that. Judges will usually ask for a no contact order. Make sure that you are on the notification system (they will notify if a parollee is released).you may also ask to be notified when the parole hearing is, so you can argue against that (depending on state, ask about that). Ask also if CCTV can be used, what options are available. If the victim is up for it, wants to testify, every measure will be taken to prepare them. Working with a therapist (play therapy, etc) can help. | 1 | 43,101 | 5 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i07lozf | i06vtlz | 1,646,979,940 | 1,646,965,820 | 11 | 2 | I am a lawyer but I am not your lawyer. The specific questions you posed have largely been answered; I just want to add something regarding your concern about parole. There is no parole in the federal system. If there is anything your child experienced that may suggest your ex committed a federal crime — federal child pornography charges are common with child sex abuse cases — that (1) should be referred to federal prosecutors, who do the same work in a system where there is no parole, and (2) could function as additional leverage in getting him to plea to a greater term of years than what your prosecutor has suggested. | I did not see what state the case is in. States have different statues as based on age how testimony is given. The prosecutor will prepare the witness for court. Ask as many questions as you can. If there is a victim's advocacy resource, ask about that. Judges will usually ask for a no contact order. Make sure that you are on the notification system (they will notify if a parollee is released).you may also ask to be notified when the parole hearing is, so you can argue against that (depending on state, ask about that). Ask also if CCTV can be used, what options are available. If the victim is up for it, wants to testify, every measure will be taken to prepare them. Working with a therapist (play therapy, etc) can help. | 1 | 14,120 | 5.5 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i08ckbf | i0925il | 1,647,000,839 | 1,647,013,245 | 8 | 10 | Some places allow child victims to testify over closed circuit TV, with just the judge, the prosecutor, and the defense attorney in the room, and the proceedings being broadcast to the courtroom. Maybe see if your jurisdiction has something like that? If not, and you want to go to trial, contact your local BACA chapter (Bikers Against Child Abuse). They'll come meet with you, meet your kids, be available for them, and the biggest, burliest, most intimidating bikers (who your kids will see as giant teddy bears) will come to the trial and sit in the front row so your daughter can look at them instead of her abuser while being questioned. https://bacaworld.org/ | Parent here who unfortunately has experience. 10 years is a long time. Especially since he will go in with a chomo label. It’s no where near enough, but it is a lot. Jury trials are a roll of the dice, and both daughters will be dragged through hell. The plea spares then the trial. For me, that was enough. Consider asking for: * A restraining order that can be extended or is permanent for all of the children. * A no contact order while they are minors. * The no contact and ro included third party contact on his behalf * Do you need to squash grandparents rights? Last thing kid needs is Granny guilt tripping her for sending Granny’s precious baby to jail. * Permanent sex offenders registration * Can provisions for child support be placed into the plea? Maybe call it restitution. Both girls will need therapy. You *want* him to rot in prison. But if you can be cold and calculating and turn off the emotions you can get what you *need* to protect your children now, allow them to protect themselves in the future and make sure that anyone who takes the time to look will know what he is. \*Edited for formatting after I got back to the big keyboard. | 0 | 12,406 | 1.25 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i08qaqo | i0925il | 1,647,008,205 | 1,647,013,245 | 7 | 10 | I am a prosecutor and judging by everything you’ve written I am pretty confident I’m a prosecutor in the same state. As such I don’t want to overstep but I’ve had these exact same convos many times and just want to add a couple things. The allocution is completely off the record and there shouldn’t be any examples or recordings for you to watch/read. But this is your chance to get the last word. You can’t direct it at the judge, attorneys or the legal system but as far as toward him, you pretty much have free reign. I’ve read them before for victims that didn’t feel comfortable. You can write it or just get up and speak from the heart. Another thing, if I’m correct in thinking you’re from Texas, if there isn’t a lifetime protective order already in place, it’s mandatory for the prosecutor to file for and for the judge to grant a lifetime protective order for the girls once he’s convicted so just one small additional layer. Violating that is, in itself, a new offense. | Parent here who unfortunately has experience. 10 years is a long time. Especially since he will go in with a chomo label. It’s no where near enough, but it is a lot. Jury trials are a roll of the dice, and both daughters will be dragged through hell. The plea spares then the trial. For me, that was enough. Consider asking for: * A restraining order that can be extended or is permanent for all of the children. * A no contact order while they are minors. * The no contact and ro included third party contact on his behalf * Do you need to squash grandparents rights? Last thing kid needs is Granny guilt tripping her for sending Granny’s precious baby to jail. * Permanent sex offenders registration * Can provisions for child support be placed into the plea? Maybe call it restitution. Both girls will need therapy. You *want* him to rot in prison. But if you can be cold and calculating and turn off the emotions you can get what you *need* to protect your children now, allow them to protect themselves in the future and make sure that anyone who takes the time to look will know what he is. \*Edited for formatting after I got back to the big keyboard. | 0 | 5,040 | 1.428571 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i080fid | i0925il | 1,646,991,346 | 1,647,013,245 | 4 | 10 | Parole is a variable term. One person's parole can be different from someone else's. Make sure that parole includes a no contact order. Make sure that parole includes a stay in the state order and move to a different state yourself. I do think it's a good thing if your kids can avoid court. It's a horrible thing to put kids through. | Parent here who unfortunately has experience. 10 years is a long time. Especially since he will go in with a chomo label. It’s no where near enough, but it is a lot. Jury trials are a roll of the dice, and both daughters will be dragged through hell. The plea spares then the trial. For me, that was enough. Consider asking for: * A restraining order that can be extended or is permanent for all of the children. * A no contact order while they are minors. * The no contact and ro included third party contact on his behalf * Do you need to squash grandparents rights? Last thing kid needs is Granny guilt tripping her for sending Granny’s precious baby to jail. * Permanent sex offenders registration * Can provisions for child support be placed into the plea? Maybe call it restitution. Both girls will need therapy. You *want* him to rot in prison. But if you can be cold and calculating and turn off the emotions you can get what you *need* to protect your children now, allow them to protect themselves in the future and make sure that anyone who takes the time to look will know what he is. \*Edited for formatting after I got back to the big keyboard. | 0 | 21,899 | 2.5 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i0925il | i06vtlz | 1,647,013,245 | 1,646,965,820 | 10 | 2 | Parent here who unfortunately has experience. 10 years is a long time. Especially since he will go in with a chomo label. It’s no where near enough, but it is a lot. Jury trials are a roll of the dice, and both daughters will be dragged through hell. The plea spares then the trial. For me, that was enough. Consider asking for: * A restraining order that can be extended or is permanent for all of the children. * A no contact order while they are minors. * The no contact and ro included third party contact on his behalf * Do you need to squash grandparents rights? Last thing kid needs is Granny guilt tripping her for sending Granny’s precious baby to jail. * Permanent sex offenders registration * Can provisions for child support be placed into the plea? Maybe call it restitution. Both girls will need therapy. You *want* him to rot in prison. But if you can be cold and calculating and turn off the emotions you can get what you *need* to protect your children now, allow them to protect themselves in the future and make sure that anyone who takes the time to look will know what he is. \*Edited for formatting after I got back to the big keyboard. | I did not see what state the case is in. States have different statues as based on age how testimony is given. The prosecutor will prepare the witness for court. Ask as many questions as you can. If there is a victim's advocacy resource, ask about that. Judges will usually ask for a no contact order. Make sure that you are on the notification system (they will notify if a parollee is released).you may also ask to be notified when the parole hearing is, so you can argue against that (depending on state, ask about that). Ask also if CCTV can be used, what options are available. If the victim is up for it, wants to testify, every measure will be taken to prepare them. Working with a therapist (play therapy, etc) can help. | 1 | 47,425 | 5 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i08ckbf | i080fid | 1,647,000,839 | 1,646,991,346 | 8 | 4 | Some places allow child victims to testify over closed circuit TV, with just the judge, the prosecutor, and the defense attorney in the room, and the proceedings being broadcast to the courtroom. Maybe see if your jurisdiction has something like that? If not, and you want to go to trial, contact your local BACA chapter (Bikers Against Child Abuse). They'll come meet with you, meet your kids, be available for them, and the biggest, burliest, most intimidating bikers (who your kids will see as giant teddy bears) will come to the trial and sit in the front row so your daughter can look at them instead of her abuser while being questioned. https://bacaworld.org/ | Parole is a variable term. One person's parole can be different from someone else's. Make sure that parole includes a no contact order. Make sure that parole includes a stay in the state order and move to a different state yourself. I do think it's a good thing if your kids can avoid court. It's a horrible thing to put kids through. | 1 | 9,493 | 2 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i06vtlz | i08ckbf | 1,646,965,820 | 1,647,000,839 | 2 | 8 | I did not see what state the case is in. States have different statues as based on age how testimony is given. The prosecutor will prepare the witness for court. Ask as many questions as you can. If there is a victim's advocacy resource, ask about that. Judges will usually ask for a no contact order. Make sure that you are on the notification system (they will notify if a parollee is released).you may also ask to be notified when the parole hearing is, so you can argue against that (depending on state, ask about that). Ask also if CCTV can be used, what options are available. If the victim is up for it, wants to testify, every measure will be taken to prepare them. Working with a therapist (play therapy, etc) can help. | Some places allow child victims to testify over closed circuit TV, with just the judge, the prosecutor, and the defense attorney in the room, and the proceedings being broadcast to the courtroom. Maybe see if your jurisdiction has something like that? If not, and you want to go to trial, contact your local BACA chapter (Bikers Against Child Abuse). They'll come meet with you, meet your kids, be available for them, and the biggest, burliest, most intimidating bikers (who your kids will see as giant teddy bears) will come to the trial and sit in the front row so your daughter can look at them instead of her abuser while being questioned. https://bacaworld.org/ | 0 | 35,019 | 4 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i080fid | i08qaqo | 1,646,991,346 | 1,647,008,205 | 4 | 7 | Parole is a variable term. One person's parole can be different from someone else's. Make sure that parole includes a no contact order. Make sure that parole includes a stay in the state order and move to a different state yourself. I do think it's a good thing if your kids can avoid court. It's a horrible thing to put kids through. | I am a prosecutor and judging by everything you’ve written I am pretty confident I’m a prosecutor in the same state. As such I don’t want to overstep but I’ve had these exact same convos many times and just want to add a couple things. The allocution is completely off the record and there shouldn’t be any examples or recordings for you to watch/read. But this is your chance to get the last word. You can’t direct it at the judge, attorneys or the legal system but as far as toward him, you pretty much have free reign. I’ve read them before for victims that didn’t feel comfortable. You can write it or just get up and speak from the heart. Another thing, if I’m correct in thinking you’re from Texas, if there isn’t a lifetime protective order already in place, it’s mandatory for the prosecutor to file for and for the judge to grant a lifetime protective order for the girls once he’s convicted so just one small additional layer. Violating that is, in itself, a new offense. | 0 | 16,859 | 1.75 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i06vtlz | i08qaqo | 1,646,965,820 | 1,647,008,205 | 2 | 7 | I did not see what state the case is in. States have different statues as based on age how testimony is given. The prosecutor will prepare the witness for court. Ask as many questions as you can. If there is a victim's advocacy resource, ask about that. Judges will usually ask for a no contact order. Make sure that you are on the notification system (they will notify if a parollee is released).you may also ask to be notified when the parole hearing is, so you can argue against that (depending on state, ask about that). Ask also if CCTV can be used, what options are available. If the victim is up for it, wants to testify, every measure will be taken to prepare them. Working with a therapist (play therapy, etc) can help. | I am a prosecutor and judging by everything you’ve written I am pretty confident I’m a prosecutor in the same state. As such I don’t want to overstep but I’ve had these exact same convos many times and just want to add a couple things. The allocution is completely off the record and there shouldn’t be any examples or recordings for you to watch/read. But this is your chance to get the last word. You can’t direct it at the judge, attorneys or the legal system but as far as toward him, you pretty much have free reign. I’ve read them before for victims that didn’t feel comfortable. You can write it or just get up and speak from the heart. Another thing, if I’m correct in thinking you’re from Texas, if there isn’t a lifetime protective order already in place, it’s mandatory for the prosecutor to file for and for the judge to grant a lifetime protective order for the girls once he’s convicted so just one small additional layer. Violating that is, in itself, a new offense. | 0 | 42,385 | 3.5 |
tbbldn | legaladvice_train | 0.88 | My pre teen daughter's abuser is likely getting offered a plea deal of 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years My ex husband who I have 2 daughters with (ages 9 & 10). We got a divorce a few years ago. I found out December 2021 he has been sexually abusing the 10 year old. Inappropriate things happened with my 9 year old too but nothing like my older daughter. He's been charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, and 2 counts of indecency with a child- one for sexual assault & the other for exposure. Before he was arrested he threatened suicide, sent me a long text asking to talk to the girls one last time (absolutely not!) & he emailed me a loooong confession. My daughter's forensic interview and his confession pretty well aligned according to several people (like the prosecutor, the CPS worker, detective, etc). A bit more was mentioned in the interview by my daughter. He's been in jail since late December; he does not have a bond amount set so he's stuck there thank god. Yesterday I met with the prosecutor. I didn't know going into the meeting that it was about a plea deal. The prosecutor explained that in cases like these they never want it to actually go to trial bc my daughter will have to testify WITH HIM in the court room. So not only would she have to face him, she would have to testify & be asked a ton of awkward questions in a room full of adults/strangers. As an adult, I wouldn't want to do that, I can't imagine a pre-teen having to do that. So I do understand why they'd present these monsters with plea deals like this. Also, the prosecutor has no control over parole. So even if the plea deal ends up being 20 years, he could be out on parole in just 10 years. The prosecutor told me to take a few days, think about if I'm okay with that plea deal, and let her know what I decide. She said ultimately it's her decision what she offers him, but she always takes the victims family's opinion into consideration. My husband and I spent pretty much all yesterday evening & night talking about it. If he got parole, the girls would only be 20 & 21 when he's released! Still basically a kid in my opinion. I was a mess at that age! Still trying to figure out who I am. At that age they still might not quite understand just how awful what he did is. If I knew there was no chance of parole, I would be okay with 20 years, not happy, but at least the girls would be in their 30s. I want to ask her to increase the plea deal to 30 years. I have a couple questions. 1. Why do they make these innocent children face their abuser like that? It doesn't seem fair or like justice at all that they offer him a good plea deal simply bc his victim was a child. I originally thought the forensic interview was used as her testimony but unfortunately that's not true according to the prosecutor & I confirmed this with employee at the interview place. Why can't they just have the child, an adult they trust (for ex, their parent and/or counselor perhaps?), throw in a therapy dog for good measure, and have the judge & attorneys come talk to the victim in a kid friendly room/environment? It could be recorded for the jury, defendant, and other people who would hear her do the testimony in person. 2. The prosecutor also said I'd have a chance to make a statement to my ex husband at his plea deal (if he takes it). She said my statement is completely off the record and it is different than a victim impact statement. I think it starts with an "A"?? Anyone know what word I'm talking about? I'd like to read some examples and watch videos of this so I can prepare myself the best I can. Thanks in advance! | i080fid | i06vtlz | 1,646,991,346 | 1,646,965,820 | 4 | 2 | Parole is a variable term. One person's parole can be different from someone else's. Make sure that parole includes a no contact order. Make sure that parole includes a stay in the state order and move to a different state yourself. I do think it's a good thing if your kids can avoid court. It's a horrible thing to put kids through. | I did not see what state the case is in. States have different statues as based on age how testimony is given. The prosecutor will prepare the witness for court. Ask as many questions as you can. If there is a victim's advocacy resource, ask about that. Judges will usually ask for a no contact order. Make sure that you are on the notification system (they will notify if a parollee is released).you may also ask to be notified when the parole hearing is, so you can argue against that (depending on state, ask about that). Ask also if CCTV can be used, what options are available. If the victim is up for it, wants to testify, every measure will be taken to prepare them. Working with a therapist (play therapy, etc) can help. | 1 | 25,526 | 2 |
t3h0sv | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | Step daughter is missing on opportunities because biological father "doesn't want to drive" I (34M) married my wife (38 F) 8+ years ago and met my now stepdaughter (12F) one year before that and have been in her life ever since. We have a "standard" visitation court order in Texas where he gets her every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of the month + some time during vacation periods. My wife always lived very close to her to ex partner, even after separation. Even after we got married we stayed around there, because we couldn't afford anywhere else to live (we were staying at her sister's garage) and I want making great money. My wife and I had a son, and after some years of struggling with money (and our marriage hurt because of it), we finally started making good money, and after being in couples therapy for a bit, we decided that we needed a fresh start. We looked for places to move. We checked the court order to make sure that we were not violating it and decided only based on what we believed was best for everyone in our family. Bio dad is understandably upset, since now it's a 40+ min drive vs 5 min walk but he's making things very difficult... Mainly for her. Step daughter started playing Rugby 2 years ago and has been kicking butt. She's with a great team that are in the top 10 (highschool) I'm the country, or so I've heard. Most seniors are already getting awesome scholarship offers, etc. I've been paying for everything and taken her to all if her practices and games. Sometimes driving 3-4hr to other cities and stood there in freezing weather all day to watch her kick ass. Unfortunately he says he doesn't like to drive and she's staying to miss practices and games that fall on bio dad's weekend. He won't go see her play (even when the games are close to him), practice, or support her in almost any way. We've offered to drop her off after games if he can't drive/won't drive, but he refuses. This is also affecting other school related activities. She's missed cross country practice and choir performances because the events occurred during "dads time". I believe he's just trying to use her as a weapon because he believes we moved just to make him upset. He when won't sign to get a passport so we can travel as a family (he says he's concerned about safety, or that we won't come back to the country (I'm originally from Mexico, now a US citizen). He's never want to discuss any safety concerns, just won't sign to get a passport. Is there anything that can be done so she doesn't miss so much? | hys5z9b | hys5yhm | 1,646,059,206 | 1,646,059,196 | 186 | 11 | The only option is to go back to court and see what a judge thinks about it. | >Is there anything that can be done so she doesn't miss so much? Your wife can go to the court and ask for full custody. | 1 | 10 | 16.909091 |
t3h0sv | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | Step daughter is missing on opportunities because biological father "doesn't want to drive" I (34M) married my wife (38 F) 8+ years ago and met my now stepdaughter (12F) one year before that and have been in her life ever since. We have a "standard" visitation court order in Texas where he gets her every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of the month + some time during vacation periods. My wife always lived very close to her to ex partner, even after separation. Even after we got married we stayed around there, because we couldn't afford anywhere else to live (we were staying at her sister's garage) and I want making great money. My wife and I had a son, and after some years of struggling with money (and our marriage hurt because of it), we finally started making good money, and after being in couples therapy for a bit, we decided that we needed a fresh start. We looked for places to move. We checked the court order to make sure that we were not violating it and decided only based on what we believed was best for everyone in our family. Bio dad is understandably upset, since now it's a 40+ min drive vs 5 min walk but he's making things very difficult... Mainly for her. Step daughter started playing Rugby 2 years ago and has been kicking butt. She's with a great team that are in the top 10 (highschool) I'm the country, or so I've heard. Most seniors are already getting awesome scholarship offers, etc. I've been paying for everything and taken her to all if her practices and games. Sometimes driving 3-4hr to other cities and stood there in freezing weather all day to watch her kick ass. Unfortunately he says he doesn't like to drive and she's staying to miss practices and games that fall on bio dad's weekend. He won't go see her play (even when the games are close to him), practice, or support her in almost any way. We've offered to drop her off after games if he can't drive/won't drive, but he refuses. This is also affecting other school related activities. She's missed cross country practice and choir performances because the events occurred during "dads time". I believe he's just trying to use her as a weapon because he believes we moved just to make him upset. He when won't sign to get a passport so we can travel as a family (he says he's concerned about safety, or that we won't come back to the country (I'm originally from Mexico, now a US citizen). He's never want to discuss any safety concerns, just won't sign to get a passport. Is there anything that can be done so she doesn't miss so much? | hys60xg | hyso8x0 | 1,646,059,226 | 1,646,066,720 | 20 | 52 | Is he preventing you and your wife from picking up the child to take her to practice/games? | It's very common once kids hit middle/high school to have activities that become a pain for custody. Some parents are capable of being adults and adapting, some are not. Courts tend to take the child's wishes into account, as well as their extracurricular schedules. The fact he refuses to go to games and refuses to take her to events will work against him. I would suggest, from this point forward, keeping a calendar log of events, so you can show that she had X # of events, he only went to Y # of events, and he caused her to miss Z # of events. You might also get a note from the coaches and teachers about how the missed time is affecting her. While you're doing that, your wife needs to get a lawyer and file for custody modification. It doesn't necessarily have to be full custody (though that is cleaner). One reason a lawyer is important isn't just to help file paperwork, but because they'll know the local court and judge's preferences for handling this issue. That will help you avoid accidentally sabotaging your request by going too far, for example. | 0 | 7,494 | 2.6 |
t3h0sv | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | Step daughter is missing on opportunities because biological father "doesn't want to drive" I (34M) married my wife (38 F) 8+ years ago and met my now stepdaughter (12F) one year before that and have been in her life ever since. We have a "standard" visitation court order in Texas where he gets her every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of the month + some time during vacation periods. My wife always lived very close to her to ex partner, even after separation. Even after we got married we stayed around there, because we couldn't afford anywhere else to live (we were staying at her sister's garage) and I want making great money. My wife and I had a son, and after some years of struggling with money (and our marriage hurt because of it), we finally started making good money, and after being in couples therapy for a bit, we decided that we needed a fresh start. We looked for places to move. We checked the court order to make sure that we were not violating it and decided only based on what we believed was best for everyone in our family. Bio dad is understandably upset, since now it's a 40+ min drive vs 5 min walk but he's making things very difficult... Mainly for her. Step daughter started playing Rugby 2 years ago and has been kicking butt. She's with a great team that are in the top 10 (highschool) I'm the country, or so I've heard. Most seniors are already getting awesome scholarship offers, etc. I've been paying for everything and taken her to all if her practices and games. Sometimes driving 3-4hr to other cities and stood there in freezing weather all day to watch her kick ass. Unfortunately he says he doesn't like to drive and she's staying to miss practices and games that fall on bio dad's weekend. He won't go see her play (even when the games are close to him), practice, or support her in almost any way. We've offered to drop her off after games if he can't drive/won't drive, but he refuses. This is also affecting other school related activities. She's missed cross country practice and choir performances because the events occurred during "dads time". I believe he's just trying to use her as a weapon because he believes we moved just to make him upset. He when won't sign to get a passport so we can travel as a family (he says he's concerned about safety, or that we won't come back to the country (I'm originally from Mexico, now a US citizen). He's never want to discuss any safety concerns, just won't sign to get a passport. Is there anything that can be done so she doesn't miss so much? | hys5yhm | hyso8x0 | 1,646,059,196 | 1,646,066,720 | 11 | 52 | >Is there anything that can be done so she doesn't miss so much? Your wife can go to the court and ask for full custody. | It's very common once kids hit middle/high school to have activities that become a pain for custody. Some parents are capable of being adults and adapting, some are not. Courts tend to take the child's wishes into account, as well as their extracurricular schedules. The fact he refuses to go to games and refuses to take her to events will work against him. I would suggest, from this point forward, keeping a calendar log of events, so you can show that she had X # of events, he only went to Y # of events, and he caused her to miss Z # of events. You might also get a note from the coaches and teachers about how the missed time is affecting her. While you're doing that, your wife needs to get a lawyer and file for custody modification. It doesn't necessarily have to be full custody (though that is cleaner). One reason a lawyer is important isn't just to help file paperwork, but because they'll know the local court and judge's preferences for handling this issue. That will help you avoid accidentally sabotaging your request by going too far, for example. | 0 | 7,524 | 4.727273 |
t3h0sv | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | Step daughter is missing on opportunities because biological father "doesn't want to drive" I (34M) married my wife (38 F) 8+ years ago and met my now stepdaughter (12F) one year before that and have been in her life ever since. We have a "standard" visitation court order in Texas where he gets her every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of the month + some time during vacation periods. My wife always lived very close to her to ex partner, even after separation. Even after we got married we stayed around there, because we couldn't afford anywhere else to live (we were staying at her sister's garage) and I want making great money. My wife and I had a son, and after some years of struggling with money (and our marriage hurt because of it), we finally started making good money, and after being in couples therapy for a bit, we decided that we needed a fresh start. We looked for places to move. We checked the court order to make sure that we were not violating it and decided only based on what we believed was best for everyone in our family. Bio dad is understandably upset, since now it's a 40+ min drive vs 5 min walk but he's making things very difficult... Mainly for her. Step daughter started playing Rugby 2 years ago and has been kicking butt. She's with a great team that are in the top 10 (highschool) I'm the country, or so I've heard. Most seniors are already getting awesome scholarship offers, etc. I've been paying for everything and taken her to all if her practices and games. Sometimes driving 3-4hr to other cities and stood there in freezing weather all day to watch her kick ass. Unfortunately he says he doesn't like to drive and she's staying to miss practices and games that fall on bio dad's weekend. He won't go see her play (even when the games are close to him), practice, or support her in almost any way. We've offered to drop her off after games if he can't drive/won't drive, but he refuses. This is also affecting other school related activities. She's missed cross country practice and choir performances because the events occurred during "dads time". I believe he's just trying to use her as a weapon because he believes we moved just to make him upset. He when won't sign to get a passport so we can travel as a family (he says he's concerned about safety, or that we won't come back to the country (I'm originally from Mexico, now a US citizen). He's never want to discuss any safety concerns, just won't sign to get a passport. Is there anything that can be done so she doesn't miss so much? | hys60xg | hys5yhm | 1,646,059,226 | 1,646,059,196 | 20 | 11 | Is he preventing you and your wife from picking up the child to take her to practice/games? | >Is there anything that can be done so she doesn't miss so much? Your wife can go to the court and ask for full custody. | 1 | 30 | 1.818182 |
t3h0sv | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | Step daughter is missing on opportunities because biological father "doesn't want to drive" I (34M) married my wife (38 F) 8+ years ago and met my now stepdaughter (12F) one year before that and have been in her life ever since. We have a "standard" visitation court order in Texas where he gets her every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of the month + some time during vacation periods. My wife always lived very close to her to ex partner, even after separation. Even after we got married we stayed around there, because we couldn't afford anywhere else to live (we were staying at her sister's garage) and I want making great money. My wife and I had a son, and after some years of struggling with money (and our marriage hurt because of it), we finally started making good money, and after being in couples therapy for a bit, we decided that we needed a fresh start. We looked for places to move. We checked the court order to make sure that we were not violating it and decided only based on what we believed was best for everyone in our family. Bio dad is understandably upset, since now it's a 40+ min drive vs 5 min walk but he's making things very difficult... Mainly for her. Step daughter started playing Rugby 2 years ago and has been kicking butt. She's with a great team that are in the top 10 (highschool) I'm the country, or so I've heard. Most seniors are already getting awesome scholarship offers, etc. I've been paying for everything and taken her to all if her practices and games. Sometimes driving 3-4hr to other cities and stood there in freezing weather all day to watch her kick ass. Unfortunately he says he doesn't like to drive and she's staying to miss practices and games that fall on bio dad's weekend. He won't go see her play (even when the games are close to him), practice, or support her in almost any way. We've offered to drop her off after games if he can't drive/won't drive, but he refuses. This is also affecting other school related activities. She's missed cross country practice and choir performances because the events occurred during "dads time". I believe he's just trying to use her as a weapon because he believes we moved just to make him upset. He when won't sign to get a passport so we can travel as a family (he says he's concerned about safety, or that we won't come back to the country (I'm originally from Mexico, now a US citizen). He's never want to discuss any safety concerns, just won't sign to get a passport. Is there anything that can be done so she doesn't miss so much? | hyu17wm | hytg8wb | 1,646,085,559 | 1,646,077,422 | 6 | 2 | Look, honestly, this sounds crappy for the kid but it’s not the kind of thing a court is going to intervene in. It’s his prerogative not to drive four hours on a weekend to take his kid to a game. It’s his prerogative not to allow her to leave the country with you. By all means talk to a family lawyer but it’s likely to cost you a lot of money for an unsatisfying outcome. Your best bet is to either placate bio-dad somehow, maybe by working in him through family members or talking about potential scholarship money, or to just show up at the house on Saturday morning to drive her to practice and see if he lets her go if she gives him big puppy dog eyes. | Things vary state to state and judge to judge, but you will have to get a lawyer and go to court to amend the custody agreement. I as a step father just went through a custody fight and we ended up settling out of court and things like how to pay for extracurriculars and ensuring that she’s there on time were clearly spelled out and included because her bio dad is horrendous with punctuality (uses being late to things as a form of control) and we didn’t want to deal with it anymore. You will likely have to get in front of a judge to either get compliance to her extracurriculars or full custody. The most important piece of advice I can give is to get everything in writing. Send him schedules via email and ask him to confirm that he will or won’t take her, offer to take her and get his rejection in writing. If something happens in a phone call, immediately send him a summary text. Screenshot every relevant text and have it all available to give to a lawyer and present in court. Good luck. | 1 | 8,137 | 3 |
t6p5kj | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Got injured at work, boss wants to pay for the X-ray out of pocket and bypass workers comp- is this insurance fraud? In CT: yesterday I (25) hurt my hand at work, it wasn’t bad at first but overnight it swelled and bruises appeared. I didn’t report it to the office right away because it seemed minor, just informed my direct field supervisor. Today it was worse so I called my doctor and they advised an X-ray, which I scheduled. I then told the office/upper management and asked what the policy was for being injured at work. They offered to write me a check for the cost of the X-ray and not report to workers comp. I told my parents this, as I am on their insurance. My mom called her lawyer and her friends that work in insurance and now believes my boss is trying to commit insurance fraud. She is worried if I accept the check and not go through workers comp then she might get in trouble for fraud as she in the primary holder. Is this fraud? If so, What is the likely hood of the insurance company finding out and going after those involved? Thanks | hzcilog | hzcotl4 | 1,646,418,574 | 1,646,420,988 | 38 | 60 | Not on the part of the employer. They (and you) aren't required to go through workers' compensation for on the job injuries. Workers' compensation protects the employer. However, you do need to let your primary insurance company know that you were injured on the job so that they can subrogate any costs that they pay to the employer's insurance company. | I handle comp cases (not your attorney, probably not your state). It's not fraud, but it doesn't help you if you ultimately need more treatment or disability benefits. | 0 | 2,414 | 1.578947 |
t6p5kj | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Got injured at work, boss wants to pay for the X-ray out of pocket and bypass workers comp- is this insurance fraud? In CT: yesterday I (25) hurt my hand at work, it wasn’t bad at first but overnight it swelled and bruises appeared. I didn’t report it to the office right away because it seemed minor, just informed my direct field supervisor. Today it was worse so I called my doctor and they advised an X-ray, which I scheduled. I then told the office/upper management and asked what the policy was for being injured at work. They offered to write me a check for the cost of the X-ray and not report to workers comp. I told my parents this, as I am on their insurance. My mom called her lawyer and her friends that work in insurance and now believes my boss is trying to commit insurance fraud. She is worried if I accept the check and not go through workers comp then she might get in trouble for fraud as she in the primary holder. Is this fraud? If so, What is the likely hood of the insurance company finding out and going after those involved? Thanks | hzcikgi | hzcotl4 | 1,646,418,560 | 1,646,420,988 | 3 | 60 | Not a lawyer. They could simply be trying to avoid a claim. If you're still being paid and they are covering your bills, and you accept this. This is probably okay. | I handle comp cases (not your attorney, probably not your state). It's not fraud, but it doesn't help you if you ultimately need more treatment or disability benefits. | 0 | 2,428 | 20 |
t6p5kj | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | Got injured at work, boss wants to pay for the X-ray out of pocket and bypass workers comp- is this insurance fraud? In CT: yesterday I (25) hurt my hand at work, it wasn’t bad at first but overnight it swelled and bruises appeared. I didn’t report it to the office right away because it seemed minor, just informed my direct field supervisor. Today it was worse so I called my doctor and they advised an X-ray, which I scheduled. I then told the office/upper management and asked what the policy was for being injured at work. They offered to write me a check for the cost of the X-ray and not report to workers comp. I told my parents this, as I am on their insurance. My mom called her lawyer and her friends that work in insurance and now believes my boss is trying to commit insurance fraud. She is worried if I accept the check and not go through workers comp then she might get in trouble for fraud as she in the primary holder. Is this fraud? If so, What is the likely hood of the insurance company finding out and going after those involved? Thanks | hzcikgi | hzcilog | 1,646,418,560 | 1,646,418,574 | 3 | 38 | Not a lawyer. They could simply be trying to avoid a claim. If you're still being paid and they are covering your bills, and you accept this. This is probably okay. | Not on the part of the employer. They (and you) aren't required to go through workers' compensation for on the job injuries. Workers' compensation protects the employer. However, you do need to let your primary insurance company know that you were injured on the job so that they can subrogate any costs that they pay to the employer's insurance company. | 0 | 14 | 12.666667 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwlu6wo | iwlhrb0 | 1,668,616,088 | 1,668,610,931 | 1,053 | 496 | 1- Make sure you actually fully own the house (this happens at some point after the will has been reviewed, debts have been paid, etc). You'll sign some stuff to transfer the deed and the house will be registered as yours. If there's a mortgage on it, you'll need to be approved for your own mortgage in order to close the old one. If you can't get approved for the mortgage, you'll be forced to sell. 2 - Look up your local eviction laws. Follow all proper procedures with written notices and everything. It should be a straightforward process legally but she's obviously in a bad situation while also grieving so it might get tense. If you're in contact with the probate lawyer, you can always try asking them for help as they might have already explained to her that she cannot stay. | Who inherited the house? What is the current state of that probate? Does the estate control the house or whomever inherited it? Whomever controls the house gives her notice to end her tenancy and then evicts her if she won’t go. | 1 | 5,157 | 2.122984 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwlu6wo | iwloxgm | 1,668,616,088 | 1,668,613,950 | 1,053 | 238 | 1- Make sure you actually fully own the house (this happens at some point after the will has been reviewed, debts have been paid, etc). You'll sign some stuff to transfer the deed and the house will be registered as yours. If there's a mortgage on it, you'll need to be approved for your own mortgage in order to close the old one. If you can't get approved for the mortgage, you'll be forced to sell. 2 - Look up your local eviction laws. Follow all proper procedures with written notices and everything. It should be a straightforward process legally but she's obviously in a bad situation while also grieving so it might get tense. If you're in contact with the probate lawyer, you can always try asking them for help as they might have already explained to her that she cannot stay. | Take some pics and videos of your property before notifying her so that she doesn't damage the property further | 1 | 2,138 | 4.42437 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwltqwy | iwlu6wo | 1,668,615,909 | 1,668,616,088 | 3 | 1,053 | You can evict her. | 1- Make sure you actually fully own the house (this happens at some point after the will has been reviewed, debts have been paid, etc). You'll sign some stuff to transfer the deed and the house will be registered as yours. If there's a mortgage on it, you'll need to be approved for your own mortgage in order to close the old one. If you can't get approved for the mortgage, you'll be forced to sell. 2 - Look up your local eviction laws. Follow all proper procedures with written notices and everything. It should be a straightforward process legally but she's obviously in a bad situation while also grieving so it might get tense. If you're in contact with the probate lawyer, you can always try asking them for help as they might have already explained to her that she cannot stay. | 0 | 179 | 351 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwlvtyb | iwm5muz | 1,668,616,762 | 1,668,620,727 | 56 | 70 | Has the property gone through probate and the title changed to your name? If so, you can evict her following the laws of your state. Until then the house is owned by the estate, not you. | GET A LAWYER. Speaking from experience if a tenant wants to they can stretch the process out for months and months. If you file a single piece of paper incorrectly it can mess up the whole process. Even with a lawyer depending on where you live it can still take months. Take photos and extensively document every aspect of the property so your lawyer can sue her for damages if she intentionally destroys anything. GET A LAWYER. | 0 | 3,965 | 1.25 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwlzmph | iwm5muz | 1,668,618,294 | 1,668,620,727 | 35 | 70 | She's been living there, but you own the house. You are a landlord and she is your tenant. You need to evict her, following the process appropriate to where you live and how long she has been there. | GET A LAWYER. Speaking from experience if a tenant wants to they can stretch the process out for months and months. If you file a single piece of paper incorrectly it can mess up the whole process. Even with a lawyer depending on where you live it can still take months. Take photos and extensively document every aspect of the property so your lawyer can sue her for damages if she intentionally destroys anything. GET A LAWYER. | 0 | 2,433 | 2 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwm5muz | iwlyz2u | 1,668,620,727 | 1,668,618,027 | 70 | 27 | GET A LAWYER. Speaking from experience if a tenant wants to they can stretch the process out for months and months. If you file a single piece of paper incorrectly it can mess up the whole process. Even with a lawyer depending on where you live it can still take months. Take photos and extensively document every aspect of the property so your lawyer can sue her for damages if she intentionally destroys anything. GET A LAWYER. | You need to formally evict them under the laws of your state and city. You can’t just kick them to the curb, this is their home and they are legally entitled to proper notice of eviction in order to make the proper arrangements in finding new housing. | 1 | 2,700 | 2.592593 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwm4qs3 | iwm5muz | 1,668,620,366 | 1,668,620,727 | 16 | 70 | Get a lawyer. It will be far quicker and cheaper to hire a lawyer to properly evict her. If you fuck up an eviction in a state with tenants rights, you could end up paying quite significantly for it | GET A LAWYER. Speaking from experience if a tenant wants to they can stretch the process out for months and months. If you file a single piece of paper incorrectly it can mess up the whole process. Even with a lawyer depending on where you live it can still take months. Take photos and extensively document every aspect of the property so your lawyer can sue her for damages if she intentionally destroys anything. GET A LAWYER. | 0 | 361 | 4.375 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwm5muz | iwltqwy | 1,668,620,727 | 1,668,615,909 | 70 | 3 | GET A LAWYER. Speaking from experience if a tenant wants to they can stretch the process out for months and months. If you file a single piece of paper incorrectly it can mess up the whole process. Even with a lawyer depending on where you live it can still take months. Take photos and extensively document every aspect of the property so your lawyer can sue her for damages if she intentionally destroys anything. GET A LAWYER. | You can evict her. | 1 | 4,818 | 23.333333 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwltqwy | iwlvtyb | 1,668,615,909 | 1,668,616,762 | 3 | 56 | You can evict her. | Has the property gone through probate and the title changed to your name? If so, you can evict her following the laws of your state. Until then the house is owned by the estate, not you. | 0 | 853 | 18.666667 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwlzmph | iwlyz2u | 1,668,618,294 | 1,668,618,027 | 35 | 27 | She's been living there, but you own the house. You are a landlord and she is your tenant. You need to evict her, following the process appropriate to where you live and how long she has been there. | You need to formally evict them under the laws of your state and city. You can’t just kick them to the curb, this is their home and they are legally entitled to proper notice of eviction in order to make the proper arrangements in finding new housing. | 1 | 267 | 1.296296 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwlzmph | iwltqwy | 1,668,618,294 | 1,668,615,909 | 35 | 3 | She's been living there, but you own the house. You are a landlord and she is your tenant. You need to evict her, following the process appropriate to where you live and how long she has been there. | You can evict her. | 1 | 2,385 | 11.666667 |
ywvpa1 | legaladvice_train | 0.96 | Late dad’s girlfriend won’t leave house. What are my options? Hello all. To make this short, my(26)father passed away and left his home to me under his will. In this house, we used to live as 4. My dad, his girlfriend, her son, and me. She’s been living here for about 5 years, but I do not have a good relationship with her as I have never had a liking to her. (Destroyed my late mother’s property when she moved in) I want her out, but she is refusing saying I can’t because she is a resident here now and her son is also in her care. What are my options to get her out? I don’t know the situation arrangement of how my late father and her split the bills previously, but since it is under my name now, that shouldn’t matter right? Thank you for your advice and I really do appreciate it and looking for help and guidance.. | iwlyz2u | iwltqwy | 1,668,618,027 | 1,668,615,909 | 27 | 3 | You need to formally evict them under the laws of your state and city. You can’t just kick them to the curb, this is their home and they are legally entitled to proper notice of eviction in order to make the proper arrangements in finding new housing. | You can evict her. | 1 | 2,118 | 9 |
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