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vcyu3q | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Landlord keeps entering backyard/garage without permission. Can locks be changed on a rental property? California Currently renting a duplex where the landlord is the neighbor. The landlord lied and said an older couple lived next door, when it was actually him. Didn't find out until the lease was signed and the neighbor conversation was verbal. Since then the landlord would occasionally enter the backyard without permission. The backyards are fenced off, however there is a door which he uses to enter. He told me that it was so the gardeners can tend to both backyards. Gardeners come once a week. Yesterday, the landlord and another person were talking by the front door. It honestly looked like he was about to enter. I think he figured out I was home, he didn't knock or need to talk to me. Today I notice that the landlord would enter the backyard. Then he went directly into the garage which can be accessed through the backyard. By the looks of it, he seemed confident and strolled right in. Then leaving he then looked into the bedroom window where I was. When the property was rented he left no belongings in the garage so he has no reason to enter. Long story short, I do not feel safe, can I legally change the garage locks and front door locks? Thanks! | ich44o0 | ich4v9h | 1,655,312,040 | 1,655,312,343 | 7 | 16 | Are there two garages or just one? | Does your lease give you exclusive use of the yard and garage? | 0 | 303 | 2.285714 |
vcyu3q | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Landlord keeps entering backyard/garage without permission. Can locks be changed on a rental property? California Currently renting a duplex where the landlord is the neighbor. The landlord lied and said an older couple lived next door, when it was actually him. Didn't find out until the lease was signed and the neighbor conversation was verbal. Since then the landlord would occasionally enter the backyard without permission. The backyards are fenced off, however there is a door which he uses to enter. He told me that it was so the gardeners can tend to both backyards. Gardeners come once a week. Yesterday, the landlord and another person were talking by the front door. It honestly looked like he was about to enter. I think he figured out I was home, he didn't knock or need to talk to me. Today I notice that the landlord would enter the backyard. Then he went directly into the garage which can be accessed through the backyard. By the looks of it, he seemed confident and strolled right in. Then leaving he then looked into the bedroom window where I was. When the property was rented he left no belongings in the garage so he has no reason to enter. Long story short, I do not feel safe, can I legally change the garage locks and front door locks? Thanks! | ich379b | ich44o0 | 1,655,311,665 | 1,655,312,040 | 6 | 7 | What did your landlord say when you told them not to enter the property you are renting absent permission or a documentable emergency? | Are there two garages or just one? | 0 | 375 | 1.166667 |
cfrkqj | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Neighbor's encroaching bamboo is ruining my property. WA state. We've been here two years and I've spent most of my time trying to turn our home into a lush cottage garden. Parts of it are doing better than others. One big issue I have is that our neighbors have unconstrained bamboo along the fence line. We asked them to try to do something about it and they refused. The bamboo has been churning up our brick patio which is original to our 1927 house. Its gotten into our sewer and into the downspouts of our rain gutters. Its even gotten into our plumbing. This spring, I dug a 4.5' trench along the property line. I trimmed off all all the rhizomes. I trenched out the stubs and tied them off with cloth towels soaked in high concentrate vinegar and tied on with copper wire. I nailed the highest thickness landscape paper I could find to our fence. Now that we are deep into the summer - the bamboo has found its way around the barrier I put on. Its encroached under our patio again. Its coming through the fence. No matter what I plant, its getting destroyed. We hired an attorney last summer but they really didn't do much. Our neighbors attorney (a relative and I'm sure someone who works for free) basically came back and said that bamboo on our side must be ours and they are responsible. We want to take them to court. I don't see why we should have to put up with their destroying our property. Am I on the right track? | eucbumk | eucauul | 1,563,670,692 | 1,563,669,893 | 632 | 555 | My understanding is that basically the only thing that can contain a "running" bamboo is trimming it back and then digging a trench two or three metres deep and at least 20cm wide, and filling it with concrete (to and slightly above surface level), so the bamboo cannot spread underground. If you are able to sue them for the damages caused by the bamboo, you should also try and get them to pay for any works necessary to isolate the bamboo from your yard. If you're due for a fence replacement soon, having the underground concrete barrier installed next time the fence is replaced might be the most cost effective way to deal with it. | You might try contacting your local noxious weeds board. I did check their online list, but it doesn't look like bamboo is on it. | 1 | 799 | 1.138739 |
cfrkqj | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Neighbor's encroaching bamboo is ruining my property. WA state. We've been here two years and I've spent most of my time trying to turn our home into a lush cottage garden. Parts of it are doing better than others. One big issue I have is that our neighbors have unconstrained bamboo along the fence line. We asked them to try to do something about it and they refused. The bamboo has been churning up our brick patio which is original to our 1927 house. Its gotten into our sewer and into the downspouts of our rain gutters. Its even gotten into our plumbing. This spring, I dug a 4.5' trench along the property line. I trimmed off all all the rhizomes. I trenched out the stubs and tied them off with cloth towels soaked in high concentrate vinegar and tied on with copper wire. I nailed the highest thickness landscape paper I could find to our fence. Now that we are deep into the summer - the bamboo has found its way around the barrier I put on. Its encroached under our patio again. Its coming through the fence. No matter what I plant, its getting destroyed. We hired an attorney last summer but they really didn't do much. Our neighbors attorney (a relative and I'm sure someone who works for free) basically came back and said that bamboo on our side must be ours and they are responsible. We want to take them to court. I don't see why we should have to put up with their destroying our property. Am I on the right track? | euc752e | eucbumk | 1,563,666,913 | 1,563,670,692 | 264 | 632 | Not a lawyer - but I do have some experience in situations similar to this. *Generally* the legal response to this type of thing is if it’s on your property then it’s yours. Did this particular neighbor plant it? They may have inherited it. Have you spoken to them about if they want it or not? If they don’t want it or are indifferent see if there are companies that can come get rid of it ALL, maybe they’d be willing to share in that cost. It’s a crappy situation for sure, but legally I can’t imagine the costs would ever end up being worth it, even in the small chance you would win. Try to engage the neighbor in a way that you work together instead of as adversaries. | My understanding is that basically the only thing that can contain a "running" bamboo is trimming it back and then digging a trench two or three metres deep and at least 20cm wide, and filling it with concrete (to and slightly above surface level), so the bamboo cannot spread underground. If you are able to sue them for the damages caused by the bamboo, you should also try and get them to pay for any works necessary to isolate the bamboo from your yard. If you're due for a fence replacement soon, having the underground concrete barrier installed next time the fence is replaced might be the most cost effective way to deal with it. | 0 | 3,779 | 2.393939 |
cfrkqj | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | Neighbor's encroaching bamboo is ruining my property. WA state. We've been here two years and I've spent most of my time trying to turn our home into a lush cottage garden. Parts of it are doing better than others. One big issue I have is that our neighbors have unconstrained bamboo along the fence line. We asked them to try to do something about it and they refused. The bamboo has been churning up our brick patio which is original to our 1927 house. Its gotten into our sewer and into the downspouts of our rain gutters. Its even gotten into our plumbing. This spring, I dug a 4.5' trench along the property line. I trimmed off all all the rhizomes. I trenched out the stubs and tied them off with cloth towels soaked in high concentrate vinegar and tied on with copper wire. I nailed the highest thickness landscape paper I could find to our fence. Now that we are deep into the summer - the bamboo has found its way around the barrier I put on. Its encroached under our patio again. Its coming through the fence. No matter what I plant, its getting destroyed. We hired an attorney last summer but they really didn't do much. Our neighbors attorney (a relative and I'm sure someone who works for free) basically came back and said that bamboo on our side must be ours and they are responsible. We want to take them to court. I don't see why we should have to put up with their destroying our property. Am I on the right track? | eucauul | euc752e | 1,563,669,893 | 1,563,666,913 | 555 | 264 | You might try contacting your local noxious weeds board. I did check their online list, but it doesn't look like bamboo is on it. | Not a lawyer - but I do have some experience in situations similar to this. *Generally* the legal response to this type of thing is if it’s on your property then it’s yours. Did this particular neighbor plant it? They may have inherited it. Have you spoken to them about if they want it or not? If they don’t want it or are indifferent see if there are companies that can come get rid of it ALL, maybe they’d be willing to share in that cost. It’s a crappy situation for sure, but legally I can’t imagine the costs would ever end up being worth it, even in the small chance you would win. Try to engage the neighbor in a way that you work together instead of as adversaries. | 1 | 2,980 | 2.102273 |
hbaaxl | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | (Oakland, CA) Mentally unstable/violent housemate refuses to move out. Says the new moratorium protects his rights. Is constructive eviction a possibility? Scared and desperate. I am not the landlord but I am the master tenant/lessee in a "relaxed" bay area household with three other 20somethings. My grandfather owns the building and has given me the right to essentially control the space and evict people. There is one new roommate in the house of four, and he has been a nightmare from essentially day one of move in about three months ago. He is clearly emotionally and mentally unstable and has been having violent screaming fits in his room where he smashes and bangs things, as well as screaming threats such as "I want to kill someone." As well as constantly stealing food, drinks, breaking tons of house rules written on his month to month roommate agreement, and being a generally nightmarish person to live with. We've been trying to stick out lockdown with him but we are all now working from home and essentially stuck with this guy 24/7. There are many instances of these things happening and the rest of the tenants (myself included) all feel very uncomfortable around him. So I asked him to move out and he initially agreed and we seemed to be fine. Later he asked for a written notice. I gave him an eviction notice, but did not file it with a court. He later suddenly retaliated saying he is taking me to court, saying I invaded his privacy by listening to him scream, "emotionally baiting" him (whut) and painting his as a villain, causing him to be opressed and victimized. He started blowing up my phone saying he's being displaced, and that I'M the one that needs to go. The thing is the Oakland moratorium protects tenants from being evicted UNLESS they pose a threat to the healthy or safety of others. He feels like a ticking time bomb and the girls in the house especially do not feel safe near him. However, because of the moratorium, and because of his general ignorance I know this will never be taken to court. However, he is winning through way of simply NOT MOVING. He's started locking himself in his room, refusing to speak to anyone unless it's something like "just wait until you see the justice I serve" so my question is what can we legally do here to get this guy out in a time when no court will take this case? Everything in the house belongs to me and the other tenants are willing to leave. Can I move everything from the shared spaces in the house? This includes: router, washer, dryer, microwave, kitchen ware, all furniture, etc. There's nothing in the signed agreement that says he has a right to use any of this stuff. He's been an unbelievable nightmare and I have never felt so much stress over a housemate before. How do I get this abusive and scary guy out? | fv7xcf1 | fv87ali | 1,592,476,624 | 1,592,484,593 | 20 | 45 | I would talk to a lawyer, they might have some ideas. But next time he gets violent call the police. And get any reports from the police on this issue it will help you with getting him out of the house. | Not a lawyer When he starts his screaming call 911. That is what I would have done. He needs help. Would go to the Police too ask your roommates to give their statements too. Everytime he screams and throws his temper tantrums I would call 911. | 0 | 7,969 | 2.25 |
hbaaxl | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | (Oakland, CA) Mentally unstable/violent housemate refuses to move out. Says the new moratorium protects his rights. Is constructive eviction a possibility? Scared and desperate. I am not the landlord but I am the master tenant/lessee in a "relaxed" bay area household with three other 20somethings. My grandfather owns the building and has given me the right to essentially control the space and evict people. There is one new roommate in the house of four, and he has been a nightmare from essentially day one of move in about three months ago. He is clearly emotionally and mentally unstable and has been having violent screaming fits in his room where he smashes and bangs things, as well as screaming threats such as "I want to kill someone." As well as constantly stealing food, drinks, breaking tons of house rules written on his month to month roommate agreement, and being a generally nightmarish person to live with. We've been trying to stick out lockdown with him but we are all now working from home and essentially stuck with this guy 24/7. There are many instances of these things happening and the rest of the tenants (myself included) all feel very uncomfortable around him. So I asked him to move out and he initially agreed and we seemed to be fine. Later he asked for a written notice. I gave him an eviction notice, but did not file it with a court. He later suddenly retaliated saying he is taking me to court, saying I invaded his privacy by listening to him scream, "emotionally baiting" him (whut) and painting his as a villain, causing him to be opressed and victimized. He started blowing up my phone saying he's being displaced, and that I'M the one that needs to go. The thing is the Oakland moratorium protects tenants from being evicted UNLESS they pose a threat to the healthy or safety of others. He feels like a ticking time bomb and the girls in the house especially do not feel safe near him. However, because of the moratorium, and because of his general ignorance I know this will never be taken to court. However, he is winning through way of simply NOT MOVING. He's started locking himself in his room, refusing to speak to anyone unless it's something like "just wait until you see the justice I serve" so my question is what can we legally do here to get this guy out in a time when no court will take this case? Everything in the house belongs to me and the other tenants are willing to leave. Can I move everything from the shared spaces in the house? This includes: router, washer, dryer, microwave, kitchen ware, all furniture, etc. There's nothing in the signed agreement that says he has a right to use any of this stuff. He's been an unbelievable nightmare and I have never felt so much stress over a housemate before. How do I get this abusive and scary guy out? | fv838or | fv87ali | 1,592,481,662 | 1,592,484,593 | 13 | 45 | Since it looks like someone posted this same issue two days ago, I suggest you read my responses there. For anyone interested, here is a direct link is the Oakland moratorium on evictions. | Not a lawyer When he starts his screaming call 911. That is what I would have done. He needs help. Would go to the Police too ask your roommates to give their statements too. Everytime he screams and throws his temper tantrums I would call 911. | 0 | 2,931 | 3.461538 |
hbaaxl | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | (Oakland, CA) Mentally unstable/violent housemate refuses to move out. Says the new moratorium protects his rights. Is constructive eviction a possibility? Scared and desperate. I am not the landlord but I am the master tenant/lessee in a "relaxed" bay area household with three other 20somethings. My grandfather owns the building and has given me the right to essentially control the space and evict people. There is one new roommate in the house of four, and he has been a nightmare from essentially day one of move in about three months ago. He is clearly emotionally and mentally unstable and has been having violent screaming fits in his room where he smashes and bangs things, as well as screaming threats such as "I want to kill someone." As well as constantly stealing food, drinks, breaking tons of house rules written on his month to month roommate agreement, and being a generally nightmarish person to live with. We've been trying to stick out lockdown with him but we are all now working from home and essentially stuck with this guy 24/7. There are many instances of these things happening and the rest of the tenants (myself included) all feel very uncomfortable around him. So I asked him to move out and he initially agreed and we seemed to be fine. Later he asked for a written notice. I gave him an eviction notice, but did not file it with a court. He later suddenly retaliated saying he is taking me to court, saying I invaded his privacy by listening to him scream, "emotionally baiting" him (whut) and painting his as a villain, causing him to be opressed and victimized. He started blowing up my phone saying he's being displaced, and that I'M the one that needs to go. The thing is the Oakland moratorium protects tenants from being evicted UNLESS they pose a threat to the healthy or safety of others. He feels like a ticking time bomb and the girls in the house especially do not feel safe near him. However, because of the moratorium, and because of his general ignorance I know this will never be taken to court. However, he is winning through way of simply NOT MOVING. He's started locking himself in his room, refusing to speak to anyone unless it's something like "just wait until you see the justice I serve" so my question is what can we legally do here to get this guy out in a time when no court will take this case? Everything in the house belongs to me and the other tenants are willing to leave. Can I move everything from the shared spaces in the house? This includes: router, washer, dryer, microwave, kitchen ware, all furniture, etc. There's nothing in the signed agreement that says he has a right to use any of this stuff. He's been an unbelievable nightmare and I have never felt so much stress over a housemate before. How do I get this abusive and scary guy out? | fv89lqe | fv838or | 1,592,486,090 | 1,592,481,662 | 18 | 13 | If he is saying that he wants to kill someone and is mentally unstable, you could try to 5150 him. If he is suicidal, homicidal, or has a grave disability, those are grounds for a 72 hour psych hold. At the least, you should be calling 911 for every violent outburst and press charges for anything he damages. You and the other tenants can also request an order of protection. It seems excessive to remove furniture and restrict his access to wifi and laundry and it could backfire. You and your other roommates are entitled to quiet enjoyment of your home. If nothing else works, I have seen people suggest the option of money for keys. Would you consider paying him to move? I would only attempt this as an absolute last resort. A psych hold seems like it may work. | Since it looks like someone posted this same issue two days ago, I suggest you read my responses there. For anyone interested, here is a direct link is the Oakland moratorium on evictions. | 1 | 4,428 | 1.384615 |
hbaaxl | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | (Oakland, CA) Mentally unstable/violent housemate refuses to move out. Says the new moratorium protects his rights. Is constructive eviction a possibility? Scared and desperate. I am not the landlord but I am the master tenant/lessee in a "relaxed" bay area household with three other 20somethings. My grandfather owns the building and has given me the right to essentially control the space and evict people. There is one new roommate in the house of four, and he has been a nightmare from essentially day one of move in about three months ago. He is clearly emotionally and mentally unstable and has been having violent screaming fits in his room where he smashes and bangs things, as well as screaming threats such as "I want to kill someone." As well as constantly stealing food, drinks, breaking tons of house rules written on his month to month roommate agreement, and being a generally nightmarish person to live with. We've been trying to stick out lockdown with him but we are all now working from home and essentially stuck with this guy 24/7. There are many instances of these things happening and the rest of the tenants (myself included) all feel very uncomfortable around him. So I asked him to move out and he initially agreed and we seemed to be fine. Later he asked for a written notice. I gave him an eviction notice, but did not file it with a court. He later suddenly retaliated saying he is taking me to court, saying I invaded his privacy by listening to him scream, "emotionally baiting" him (whut) and painting his as a villain, causing him to be opressed and victimized. He started blowing up my phone saying he's being displaced, and that I'M the one that needs to go. The thing is the Oakland moratorium protects tenants from being evicted UNLESS they pose a threat to the healthy or safety of others. He feels like a ticking time bomb and the girls in the house especially do not feel safe near him. However, because of the moratorium, and because of his general ignorance I know this will never be taken to court. However, he is winning through way of simply NOT MOVING. He's started locking himself in his room, refusing to speak to anyone unless it's something like "just wait until you see the justice I serve" so my question is what can we legally do here to get this guy out in a time when no court will take this case? Everything in the house belongs to me and the other tenants are willing to leave. Can I move everything from the shared spaces in the house? This includes: router, washer, dryer, microwave, kitchen ware, all furniture, etc. There's nothing in the signed agreement that says he has a right to use any of this stuff. He's been an unbelievable nightmare and I have never felt so much stress over a housemate before. How do I get this abusive and scary guy out? | fv8ktf3 | fv8n4ow | 1,592,492,394 | 1,592,493,574 | 3 | 6 | File a police report and get housing authorities involved. There are programs in cities to help with this sort of thing. You are all being threatened and harassed. Get professional help in to have him removed. Call social services, 911, etc. he needs to be removed, and evaluated and until that happens youre all at risk. Do not try to annoy him or frustrate him into leaving. He will escalate. The safest thing is to have him removed by professionals. | Protect yourself first. You wrote " He is clearly emotionally and mentally unstable and has been having violent screaming fits in his room where he smashes and bangs things, as well as screaming threats such as "I want to kill someone." and " abusive and scary guy out" You live together and he communicated the threat ""I want to kill someone." and causes a ruckus. Get your other roommates and ALL of you go file a restraining order. You need to detail that you feel threatened by his behavior and give examples of his behavior that you feel threatened by. To convince the judge, have proof of damages, such as holes in walls, broken furniture, and a witness. The judge will grant a restraining order to you. That prevents him from being with in so many feet of you, or cohabitation with you. In protecting yourself, you will get this person out of your domicile. | 0 | 1,180 | 2 |
bpnsxm | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | My Grandma passed away, left a rather large inheritance to her kids/grandkids evenly split, but then it comes to light that my grandmother isn't my grandmother but actually my great grandmother. So my grandma passed away a couple months ago and left a sizable inheritance. Basically $500,000 to each of her children (6 total including my mom) and $250,000 to each grandchild (15 total). Her total assets were over $8million but after lawyer fees and everything, that is what was decided. It was all supposed to be well and good except this whole family secret came out. Basically my Aunt told the lawyer that my mother is actually my aunt's daughter therefore my grandmas grandchild. So my mom's portion of the inheritance should be $250,000 while me and my siblings get nothing. That would leave an extra 1.25 million to be split between the remaining 5 of my grandmas children. The lawyer told my mom he would handle it but I don't want to see her get screwed because of this. I am unsure if a legal adoption ever went through, this was the 60s and my aunt would have been 16 so it was still pretty taboo to be a single parent at that age. We think that while in the hospital giving birth my grandfather paid the doctor to put his and my grandmothers name on the birth certificate. My grandmas will basically says $250,000 to each grandchild and the rest is to be split between her children. She never named her children directly but based on the relationship my mom had with my grandma, I am certain that she considered my mom to be hers. We already got pictures/keepsakes that are important to us so as much as I would like to say it's not about the money, it really is. My question is, should we hire our own lawyer? Or just trust the estate lawyer? Is there anything we should prepare for ahead of time and what exactly is likely to happen? Location is AB, Canada | enviaoo | envfgpk | 1,558,076,864 | 1,558,075,217 | 190 | 56 | They put their name on her birth certificate. This is going to help a lot to show they considered her their daughter. | Who does the lawyer work for, the estate? You might want to get your own attorney. Legally, as far as the government is concerned, is your mother's mother your aunt or the grandmother? Was she adopted by the grandmother? | 1 | 1,647 | 3.392857 |
bpnsxm | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | My Grandma passed away, left a rather large inheritance to her kids/grandkids evenly split, but then it comes to light that my grandmother isn't my grandmother but actually my great grandmother. So my grandma passed away a couple months ago and left a sizable inheritance. Basically $500,000 to each of her children (6 total including my mom) and $250,000 to each grandchild (15 total). Her total assets were over $8million but after lawyer fees and everything, that is what was decided. It was all supposed to be well and good except this whole family secret came out. Basically my Aunt told the lawyer that my mother is actually my aunt's daughter therefore my grandmas grandchild. So my mom's portion of the inheritance should be $250,000 while me and my siblings get nothing. That would leave an extra 1.25 million to be split between the remaining 5 of my grandmas children. The lawyer told my mom he would handle it but I don't want to see her get screwed because of this. I am unsure if a legal adoption ever went through, this was the 60s and my aunt would have been 16 so it was still pretty taboo to be a single parent at that age. We think that while in the hospital giving birth my grandfather paid the doctor to put his and my grandmothers name on the birth certificate. My grandmas will basically says $250,000 to each grandchild and the rest is to be split between her children. She never named her children directly but based on the relationship my mom had with my grandma, I am certain that she considered my mom to be hers. We already got pictures/keepsakes that are important to us so as much as I would like to say it's not about the money, it really is. My question is, should we hire our own lawyer? Or just trust the estate lawyer? Is there anything we should prepare for ahead of time and what exactly is likely to happen? Location is AB, Canada | enviaoo | envf7nk | 1,558,076,864 | 1,558,075,063 | 190 | 2 | They put their name on her birth certificate. This is going to help a lot to show they considered her their daughter. | ---
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Author: /u/physicslover69
Title: **My Grandma passed away, left a rather large inheritance to her kids/grandkids evenly split, but then it comes to light that my grandmother isn't my grandmother but actually my great grandmother.**
Original Post:
> So my grandma passed away a couple months ago and left a sizable inheritance. Basically $500,000 to each of her children (6 total including my mom) and $250,000 to each grandchild (15 total). Her total assets were over $8million but after lawyer fees and everything, that is what was decided. > > It was all supposed to be well and good except this whole family secret came out. Basically my Aunt told the lawyer that my mother is actually my aunt's daughter therefore my grandmas grandchild. So my mom's portion of the inheritance should be $250,000 while me and my siblings get nothing. That would leave an extra 1.25 million to be split between the remaining 5 of my grandmas children. > > The lawyer told my mom he would handle it but I don't want to see her get screwed because of this. I am unsure if a legal adoption ever went through, this was the 60s and my aunt would have been 16 so it was still pretty taboo to be a single parent at that age. We think that while in the hospital giving birth my grandfather paid the doctor to put his and my grandmothers name on the birth certificate. > > My grandmas will basically says $250,000 to each grandchild and the rest is to be split between her children. She never named her children directly but based on the relationship my mom had with my grandma, I am certain that she considered my mom to be hers. > > We already got pictures/keepsakes that are important to us so as much as I would like to say it's not about the money, it really is. My question is, should we hire our own lawyer? Or just trust the estate lawyer? Is there anything we should prepare for ahead of time and what exactly is likely to happen?
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bpnsxm | legaladvice_train | 0.94 | My Grandma passed away, left a rather large inheritance to her kids/grandkids evenly split, but then it comes to light that my grandmother isn't my grandmother but actually my great grandmother. So my grandma passed away a couple months ago and left a sizable inheritance. Basically $500,000 to each of her children (6 total including my mom) and $250,000 to each grandchild (15 total). Her total assets were over $8million but after lawyer fees and everything, that is what was decided. It was all supposed to be well and good except this whole family secret came out. Basically my Aunt told the lawyer that my mother is actually my aunt's daughter therefore my grandmas grandchild. So my mom's portion of the inheritance should be $250,000 while me and my siblings get nothing. That would leave an extra 1.25 million to be split between the remaining 5 of my grandmas children. The lawyer told my mom he would handle it but I don't want to see her get screwed because of this. I am unsure if a legal adoption ever went through, this was the 60s and my aunt would have been 16 so it was still pretty taboo to be a single parent at that age. We think that while in the hospital giving birth my grandfather paid the doctor to put his and my grandmothers name on the birth certificate. My grandmas will basically says $250,000 to each grandchild and the rest is to be split between her children. She never named her children directly but based on the relationship my mom had with my grandma, I am certain that she considered my mom to be hers. We already got pictures/keepsakes that are important to us so as much as I would like to say it's not about the money, it really is. My question is, should we hire our own lawyer? Or just trust the estate lawyer? Is there anything we should prepare for ahead of time and what exactly is likely to happen? Location is AB, Canada | envfgpk | envf7nk | 1,558,075,217 | 1,558,075,063 | 56 | 2 | Who does the lawyer work for, the estate? You might want to get your own attorney. Legally, as far as the government is concerned, is your mother's mother your aunt or the grandmother? Was she adopted by the grandmother? | ---
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Author: /u/physicslover69
Title: **My Grandma passed away, left a rather large inheritance to her kids/grandkids evenly split, but then it comes to light that my grandmother isn't my grandmother but actually my great grandmother.**
Original Post:
> So my grandma passed away a couple months ago and left a sizable inheritance. Basically $500,000 to each of her children (6 total including my mom) and $250,000 to each grandchild (15 total). Her total assets were over $8million but after lawyer fees and everything, that is what was decided. > > It was all supposed to be well and good except this whole family secret came out. Basically my Aunt told the lawyer that my mother is actually my aunt's daughter therefore my grandmas grandchild. So my mom's portion of the inheritance should be $250,000 while me and my siblings get nothing. That would leave an extra 1.25 million to be split between the remaining 5 of my grandmas children. > > The lawyer told my mom he would handle it but I don't want to see her get screwed because of this. I am unsure if a legal adoption ever went through, this was the 60s and my aunt would have been 16 so it was still pretty taboo to be a single parent at that age. We think that while in the hospital giving birth my grandfather paid the doctor to put his and my grandmothers name on the birth certificate. > > My grandmas will basically says $250,000 to each grandchild and the rest is to be split between her children. She never named her children directly but based on the relationship my mom had with my grandma, I am certain that she considered my mom to be hers. > > We already got pictures/keepsakes that are important to us so as much as I would like to say it's not about the money, it really is. My question is, should we hire our own lawyer? Or just trust the estate lawyer? Is there anything we should prepare for ahead of time and what exactly is likely to happen?
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LocationBot 4.6319918 & 17/64ths | Report Issues | 1 | 154 | 28 |
c2opjn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NC] Grandmother passed away 6 years ago and I just found out I was in her will My aunt, we'll call her A, informed me less than a month ago that I am entitled to 1/6th of my grandmother's single wide trailer in a retirement community. She said I can either sign the paperwork or have my share bought out. In the conversation she says it's only fair that I sign it away because my other aunt, B, has been living there for the past 6 years and has been paying the taxes. She also stressed multiple times that the home is maybe only worth about $6,000 because it's only the trailer, no land. I told her I needed to think about it because this was very sudden and not a decision I was going to take lightly. I have some emotional debt with this family as my father passed away 10 years ago and they did some shady things to make sure all of his belongings went to them as I was under 18 and my parents were divorced. Due to this, I'm not willing to just sign away my share. My grandmother wouldn't have wanted them to pressure me into it either. I advised A that I would like to see the appraisal (during the phone call, she insinuated they were already getting one, my guess is because A also owns a share in the home.) She then tells me that I owe 6 years of taxes as well as I need to pay my share of the roof that was installed since B moved in. I am also responsible for the cost of the appraisal. What rights do I have? Is there a law that says I am or am not responsible for the taxes and roof even though I wasn't aware I had inherited anything until last month? Any advice is appreciated. If it helps, the home is located in Henderson county, North Carolina. Thanks! | erm1ot7 | erljzlq | 1,561,003,151 | 1,560,989,223 | 1,686 | 581 | Get a lawyer. If you owe 6 years of taxes B also owes you 6 years of rent... | I wonder about 1/6 the rent owed to you the past six years? Has something happened recently that they are now actually feeling the obligation to let you know about your inheritance? Are they thinking of selling? | 1 | 13,928 | 2.901893 |
c2opjn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NC] Grandmother passed away 6 years ago and I just found out I was in her will My aunt, we'll call her A, informed me less than a month ago that I am entitled to 1/6th of my grandmother's single wide trailer in a retirement community. She said I can either sign the paperwork or have my share bought out. In the conversation she says it's only fair that I sign it away because my other aunt, B, has been living there for the past 6 years and has been paying the taxes. She also stressed multiple times that the home is maybe only worth about $6,000 because it's only the trailer, no land. I told her I needed to think about it because this was very sudden and not a decision I was going to take lightly. I have some emotional debt with this family as my father passed away 10 years ago and they did some shady things to make sure all of his belongings went to them as I was under 18 and my parents were divorced. Due to this, I'm not willing to just sign away my share. My grandmother wouldn't have wanted them to pressure me into it either. I advised A that I would like to see the appraisal (during the phone call, she insinuated they were already getting one, my guess is because A also owns a share in the home.) She then tells me that I owe 6 years of taxes as well as I need to pay my share of the roof that was installed since B moved in. I am also responsible for the cost of the appraisal. What rights do I have? Is there a law that says I am or am not responsible for the taxes and roof even though I wasn't aware I had inherited anything until last month? Any advice is appreciated. If it helps, the home is located in Henderson county, North Carolina. Thanks! | erm1crv | erm1ot7 | 1,561,002,852 | 1,561,003,151 | 27 | 1,686 | I saw quite a few mobile homes in real estate web sites. Maybe you could check it out and see if you can find recent sales records? In California, it can still worth $100-300k depending on location. | Get a lawyer. If you owe 6 years of taxes B also owes you 6 years of rent... | 0 | 299 | 62.444444 |
c2opjn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NC] Grandmother passed away 6 years ago and I just found out I was in her will My aunt, we'll call her A, informed me less than a month ago that I am entitled to 1/6th of my grandmother's single wide trailer in a retirement community. She said I can either sign the paperwork or have my share bought out. In the conversation she says it's only fair that I sign it away because my other aunt, B, has been living there for the past 6 years and has been paying the taxes. She also stressed multiple times that the home is maybe only worth about $6,000 because it's only the trailer, no land. I told her I needed to think about it because this was very sudden and not a decision I was going to take lightly. I have some emotional debt with this family as my father passed away 10 years ago and they did some shady things to make sure all of his belongings went to them as I was under 18 and my parents were divorced. Due to this, I'm not willing to just sign away my share. My grandmother wouldn't have wanted them to pressure me into it either. I advised A that I would like to see the appraisal (during the phone call, she insinuated they were already getting one, my guess is because A also owns a share in the home.) She then tells me that I owe 6 years of taxes as well as I need to pay my share of the roof that was installed since B moved in. I am also responsible for the cost of the appraisal. What rights do I have? Is there a law that says I am or am not responsible for the taxes and roof even though I wasn't aware I had inherited anything until last month? Any advice is appreciated. If it helps, the home is located in Henderson county, North Carolina. Thanks! | erm3hib | erm1crv | 1,561,004,837 | 1,561,002,852 | 198 | 27 | Ask for your portion of six years rent. | I saw quite a few mobile homes in real estate web sites. Maybe you could check it out and see if you can find recent sales records? In California, it can still worth $100-300k depending on location. | 1 | 1,985 | 7.333333 |
c2opjn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NC] Grandmother passed away 6 years ago and I just found out I was in her will My aunt, we'll call her A, informed me less than a month ago that I am entitled to 1/6th of my grandmother's single wide trailer in a retirement community. She said I can either sign the paperwork or have my share bought out. In the conversation she says it's only fair that I sign it away because my other aunt, B, has been living there for the past 6 years and has been paying the taxes. She also stressed multiple times that the home is maybe only worth about $6,000 because it's only the trailer, no land. I told her I needed to think about it because this was very sudden and not a decision I was going to take lightly. I have some emotional debt with this family as my father passed away 10 years ago and they did some shady things to make sure all of his belongings went to them as I was under 18 and my parents were divorced. Due to this, I'm not willing to just sign away my share. My grandmother wouldn't have wanted them to pressure me into it either. I advised A that I would like to see the appraisal (during the phone call, she insinuated they were already getting one, my guess is because A also owns a share in the home.) She then tells me that I owe 6 years of taxes as well as I need to pay my share of the roof that was installed since B moved in. I am also responsible for the cost of the appraisal. What rights do I have? Is there a law that says I am or am not responsible for the taxes and roof even though I wasn't aware I had inherited anything until last month? Any advice is appreciated. If it helps, the home is located in Henderson county, North Carolina. Thanks! | erm1crv | erm7z0a | 1,561,002,852 | 1,561,009,611 | 27 | 72 | I saw quite a few mobile homes in real estate web sites. Maybe you could check it out and see if you can find recent sales records? In California, it can still worth $100-300k depending on location. | Get a lawyer. Something tells me that they are hiding something. Maybe you were left the whole trailer, but they are trying to downplay it so it seems like you got something worthless. I would also say to get your own appraisal on the trailer, as they might lie about it to. | 0 | 6,759 | 2.666667 |
c2opjn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NC] Grandmother passed away 6 years ago and I just found out I was in her will My aunt, we'll call her A, informed me less than a month ago that I am entitled to 1/6th of my grandmother's single wide trailer in a retirement community. She said I can either sign the paperwork or have my share bought out. In the conversation she says it's only fair that I sign it away because my other aunt, B, has been living there for the past 6 years and has been paying the taxes. She also stressed multiple times that the home is maybe only worth about $6,000 because it's only the trailer, no land. I told her I needed to think about it because this was very sudden and not a decision I was going to take lightly. I have some emotional debt with this family as my father passed away 10 years ago and they did some shady things to make sure all of his belongings went to them as I was under 18 and my parents were divorced. Due to this, I'm not willing to just sign away my share. My grandmother wouldn't have wanted them to pressure me into it either. I advised A that I would like to see the appraisal (during the phone call, she insinuated they were already getting one, my guess is because A also owns a share in the home.) She then tells me that I owe 6 years of taxes as well as I need to pay my share of the roof that was installed since B moved in. I am also responsible for the cost of the appraisal. What rights do I have? Is there a law that says I am or am not responsible for the taxes and roof even though I wasn't aware I had inherited anything until last month? Any advice is appreciated. If it helps, the home is located in Henderson county, North Carolina. Thanks! | erm1crv | erm92j5 | 1,561,002,852 | 1,561,010,898 | 27 | 62 | I saw quite a few mobile homes in real estate web sites. Maybe you could check it out and see if you can find recent sales records? In California, it can still worth $100-300k depending on location. | First thing to do is get a copy of the testamentary documents. The easiest way to do that is to hire an attorney who will then get to work forcing compliance from your relatives. It is not possible to intelligently analyze this situation until you have the testamentary documents in front of you. Whoever was named/acting as executor has bungled this immensely; you were entitled to notice six years ago. I don't trust a single thing that they've told you, and neither should you. In any event, it's quite likely a court would award you back-rent and deny them reimbursement for the accumulated damages they've caused by not promptly notifying you of your rights. My guess is that they tried to sell it and found out they couldn't because of some sort of cloud on title that they are trying to erase by having you sign away your rights. | 0 | 8,046 | 2.296296 |
c2opjn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NC] Grandmother passed away 6 years ago and I just found out I was in her will My aunt, we'll call her A, informed me less than a month ago that I am entitled to 1/6th of my grandmother's single wide trailer in a retirement community. She said I can either sign the paperwork or have my share bought out. In the conversation she says it's only fair that I sign it away because my other aunt, B, has been living there for the past 6 years and has been paying the taxes. She also stressed multiple times that the home is maybe only worth about $6,000 because it's only the trailer, no land. I told her I needed to think about it because this was very sudden and not a decision I was going to take lightly. I have some emotional debt with this family as my father passed away 10 years ago and they did some shady things to make sure all of his belongings went to them as I was under 18 and my parents were divorced. Due to this, I'm not willing to just sign away my share. My grandmother wouldn't have wanted them to pressure me into it either. I advised A that I would like to see the appraisal (during the phone call, she insinuated they were already getting one, my guess is because A also owns a share in the home.) She then tells me that I owe 6 years of taxes as well as I need to pay my share of the roof that was installed since B moved in. I am also responsible for the cost of the appraisal. What rights do I have? Is there a law that says I am or am not responsible for the taxes and roof even though I wasn't aware I had inherited anything until last month? Any advice is appreciated. If it helps, the home is located in Henderson county, North Carolina. Thanks! | ernp9h1 | erm1crv | 1,561,057,937 | 1,561,002,852 | 39 | 27 | CPA here.. if you dont own the land, then what taxes are they talking about? That doesn't sound right to me. | I saw quite a few mobile homes in real estate web sites. Maybe you could check it out and see if you can find recent sales records? In California, it can still worth $100-300k depending on location. | 1 | 55,085 | 1.444444 |
c2opjn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NC] Grandmother passed away 6 years ago and I just found out I was in her will My aunt, we'll call her A, informed me less than a month ago that I am entitled to 1/6th of my grandmother's single wide trailer in a retirement community. She said I can either sign the paperwork or have my share bought out. In the conversation she says it's only fair that I sign it away because my other aunt, B, has been living there for the past 6 years and has been paying the taxes. She also stressed multiple times that the home is maybe only worth about $6,000 because it's only the trailer, no land. I told her I needed to think about it because this was very sudden and not a decision I was going to take lightly. I have some emotional debt with this family as my father passed away 10 years ago and they did some shady things to make sure all of his belongings went to them as I was under 18 and my parents were divorced. Due to this, I'm not willing to just sign away my share. My grandmother wouldn't have wanted them to pressure me into it either. I advised A that I would like to see the appraisal (during the phone call, she insinuated they were already getting one, my guess is because A also owns a share in the home.) She then tells me that I owe 6 years of taxes as well as I need to pay my share of the roof that was installed since B moved in. I am also responsible for the cost of the appraisal. What rights do I have? Is there a law that says I am or am not responsible for the taxes and roof even though I wasn't aware I had inherited anything until last month? Any advice is appreciated. If it helps, the home is located in Henderson county, North Carolina. Thanks! | ernp9h1 | ermpfkn | 1,561,057,937 | 1,561,033,053 | 39 | 21 | CPA here.. if you dont own the land, then what taxes are they talking about? That doesn't sound right to me. | You should never end up owing money overall because of an inheritance. You always have the option of disclaiming anything to do with an inheritance. It sounds like that would be the best option here as the cost of a lawyer the straighten this out and the issues with taxes and maintenace and selling costs and overall headache will likely outweigh the paltry ammount you stand to inherit. | 1 | 24,884 | 1.857143 |
c2opjn | legaladvice_train | 0.98 | [NC] Grandmother passed away 6 years ago and I just found out I was in her will My aunt, we'll call her A, informed me less than a month ago that I am entitled to 1/6th of my grandmother's single wide trailer in a retirement community. She said I can either sign the paperwork or have my share bought out. In the conversation she says it's only fair that I sign it away because my other aunt, B, has been living there for the past 6 years and has been paying the taxes. She also stressed multiple times that the home is maybe only worth about $6,000 because it's only the trailer, no land. I told her I needed to think about it because this was very sudden and not a decision I was going to take lightly. I have some emotional debt with this family as my father passed away 10 years ago and they did some shady things to make sure all of his belongings went to them as I was under 18 and my parents were divorced. Due to this, I'm not willing to just sign away my share. My grandmother wouldn't have wanted them to pressure me into it either. I advised A that I would like to see the appraisal (during the phone call, she insinuated they were already getting one, my guess is because A also owns a share in the home.) She then tells me that I owe 6 years of taxes as well as I need to pay my share of the roof that was installed since B moved in. I am also responsible for the cost of the appraisal. What rights do I have? Is there a law that says I am or am not responsible for the taxes and roof even though I wasn't aware I had inherited anything until last month? Any advice is appreciated. If it helps, the home is located in Henderson county, North Carolina. Thanks! | ermv0qz | ernp9h1 | 1,561,037,829 | 1,561,057,937 | 20 | 39 | Not legal advice but instead financial advise. Trailer homes are not good investments and lose value much like a car. I would negotiate a buyout and wash your hands of the whole situation. | CPA here.. if you dont own the land, then what taxes are they talking about? That doesn't sound right to me. | 0 | 20,108 | 1.95 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edufqag | eduez2x | 1,547,245,377 | 1,547,244,914 | 371 | 11 | Start getting your documents together, then leave. If you are an immigrant you need your passport and residency documents, at a minimum. If you are a citizen you need a certified copy of your birth certificate, and presumably you have your driver's license. Leaving won't be easy. You will need financial aid, a job, and to find somewhere new to live, but it can be done. | They can't legally stop you from going your own way. They could try to initiate legal action if they claim you took their property, like money in their bank account. But they can't make you stay somewhere. That would be unlawful detention and possibly kidnapping depending on the circumstances. | 1 | 463 | 33.727273 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edur974 | edugq6o | 1,547,253,077 | 1,547,245,993 | 336 | 80 | This is personal advice, and hopefully it helps. In no particular order: 1) get all important documents, social security card, birth certificate, passport, medical information off the premises (like a safe deposit box). 2) start stashing money away. Discreetly. If you have an extra $5 on you, put it in the bank. Don’t keep it on you. Get a bank account at a bank where your parents don’t have money. For example, if they’re at Wells Fargo, go to Bank of America (not endorsing these banks) and don’t tell them. 4) put a freeze on your credit. It ensures your parents can’t open accounts without your permission. 5) password protect everything. Use a double authentication wherever possible. Protect your Online school records, banking information, medical services online. For security questions ‘what was your first car?’ Answer with ‘dog’ or ‘chair’ just not your first real car. 6) alert the local authorities that you are not missing and your parents may try to report as such. Do this only when you are ready to leave the house. 7) check into what your college offers for health care and other legal services, you might be able to get a low to no cost plan 8) get a part time job if you can 9) DO NOT tell your parents, siblings, extended family, family friends, or anyone connected to your family what you are doing. Once they catch wind of it, they’ll do whatever they can to get you back in their control. 10) be prepared to pay for your own insurance, phone and all other bills that come with being an adult, be prepared for paying for your own schooling. 10) don’t put your parents down as next of contact, take them off all of your medical records, financial services and power of attorney. Do not tell anyone what you are planning to do. Keep as much a secret as possible. Head over to /r/JNFAMILY, they deal with narcissistic/controlling families and can offer a lot of support and more advice. Good luck. | Aside from personal documents (ID, passport, Birth Certificate, etc), you will need a bank account *in your name only, not shared with your parents*. You may find some helpful resources for income and housing through women's shelters or domestic violence assistance groups. Don't give up, at first things will be scary and difficult, but it will get better. | 1 | 7,084 | 4.2 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | eduhyqo | edur974 | 1,547,246,785 | 1,547,253,077 | 65 | 336 | If you are currently a student, there should be an office on campus that can help you work through this. Ask your advisor or a trusted professor. It could also be a way to get your hands on your documents- if you “need” to show them to one of the offices at school for documentation. Are you a citizen? Were you born here? These are important in terms of getting your paperwork and keeping it safe. If you were born here you can get your birth certificate. Please do not leave the country with your family for any reason. Not a wedding or funeral- nothing. | This is personal advice, and hopefully it helps. In no particular order: 1) get all important documents, social security card, birth certificate, passport, medical information off the premises (like a safe deposit box). 2) start stashing money away. Discreetly. If you have an extra $5 on you, put it in the bank. Don’t keep it on you. Get a bank account at a bank where your parents don’t have money. For example, if they’re at Wells Fargo, go to Bank of America (not endorsing these banks) and don’t tell them. 4) put a freeze on your credit. It ensures your parents can’t open accounts without your permission. 5) password protect everything. Use a double authentication wherever possible. Protect your Online school records, banking information, medical services online. For security questions ‘what was your first car?’ Answer with ‘dog’ or ‘chair’ just not your first real car. 6) alert the local authorities that you are not missing and your parents may try to report as such. Do this only when you are ready to leave the house. 7) check into what your college offers for health care and other legal services, you might be able to get a low to no cost plan 8) get a part time job if you can 9) DO NOT tell your parents, siblings, extended family, family friends, or anyone connected to your family what you are doing. Once they catch wind of it, they’ll do whatever they can to get you back in their control. 10) be prepared to pay for your own insurance, phone and all other bills that come with being an adult, be prepared for paying for your own schooling. 10) don’t put your parents down as next of contact, take them off all of your medical records, financial services and power of attorney. Do not tell anyone what you are planning to do. Keep as much a secret as possible. Head over to /r/JNFAMILY, they deal with narcissistic/controlling families and can offer a lot of support and more advice. Good luck. | 0 | 6,292 | 5.169231 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edur974 | edufvrb | 1,547,253,077 | 1,547,245,469 | 336 | 34 | This is personal advice, and hopefully it helps. In no particular order: 1) get all important documents, social security card, birth certificate, passport, medical information off the premises (like a safe deposit box). 2) start stashing money away. Discreetly. If you have an extra $5 on you, put it in the bank. Don’t keep it on you. Get a bank account at a bank where your parents don’t have money. For example, if they’re at Wells Fargo, go to Bank of America (not endorsing these banks) and don’t tell them. 4) put a freeze on your credit. It ensures your parents can’t open accounts without your permission. 5) password protect everything. Use a double authentication wherever possible. Protect your Online school records, banking information, medical services online. For security questions ‘what was your first car?’ Answer with ‘dog’ or ‘chair’ just not your first real car. 6) alert the local authorities that you are not missing and your parents may try to report as such. Do this only when you are ready to leave the house. 7) check into what your college offers for health care and other legal services, you might be able to get a low to no cost plan 8) get a part time job if you can 9) DO NOT tell your parents, siblings, extended family, family friends, or anyone connected to your family what you are doing. Once they catch wind of it, they’ll do whatever they can to get you back in their control. 10) be prepared to pay for your own insurance, phone and all other bills that come with being an adult, be prepared for paying for your own schooling. 10) don’t put your parents down as next of contact, take them off all of your medical records, financial services and power of attorney. Do not tell anyone what you are planning to do. Keep as much a secret as possible. Head over to /r/JNFAMILY, they deal with narcissistic/controlling families and can offer a lot of support and more advice. Good luck. | You can open a bank account of your own, and if you are currently enrolled in college you can step back to part time and get a job. A local shelter can help you gather resources as well. Your parents cannot just call the police and have you returned if you leave. | 1 | 7,608 | 9.882353 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | eduez2x | edur974 | 1,547,244,914 | 1,547,253,077 | 11 | 336 | They can't legally stop you from going your own way. They could try to initiate legal action if they claim you took their property, like money in their bank account. But they can't make you stay somewhere. That would be unlawful detention and possibly kidnapping depending on the circumstances. | This is personal advice, and hopefully it helps. In no particular order: 1) get all important documents, social security card, birth certificate, passport, medical information off the premises (like a safe deposit box). 2) start stashing money away. Discreetly. If you have an extra $5 on you, put it in the bank. Don’t keep it on you. Get a bank account at a bank where your parents don’t have money. For example, if they’re at Wells Fargo, go to Bank of America (not endorsing these banks) and don’t tell them. 4) put a freeze on your credit. It ensures your parents can’t open accounts without your permission. 5) password protect everything. Use a double authentication wherever possible. Protect your Online school records, banking information, medical services online. For security questions ‘what was your first car?’ Answer with ‘dog’ or ‘chair’ just not your first real car. 6) alert the local authorities that you are not missing and your parents may try to report as such. Do this only when you are ready to leave the house. 7) check into what your college offers for health care and other legal services, you might be able to get a low to no cost plan 8) get a part time job if you can 9) DO NOT tell your parents, siblings, extended family, family friends, or anyone connected to your family what you are doing. Once they catch wind of it, they’ll do whatever they can to get you back in their control. 10) be prepared to pay for your own insurance, phone and all other bills that come with being an adult, be prepared for paying for your own schooling. 10) don’t put your parents down as next of contact, take them off all of your medical records, financial services and power of attorney. Do not tell anyone what you are planning to do. Keep as much a secret as possible. Head over to /r/JNFAMILY, they deal with narcissistic/controlling families and can offer a lot of support and more advice. Good luck. | 0 | 8,163 | 30.545455 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edugq6o | edufvrb | 1,547,245,993 | 1,547,245,469 | 80 | 34 | Aside from personal documents (ID, passport, Birth Certificate, etc), you will need a bank account *in your name only, not shared with your parents*. You may find some helpful resources for income and housing through women's shelters or domestic violence assistance groups. Don't give up, at first things will be scary and difficult, but it will get better. | You can open a bank account of your own, and if you are currently enrolled in college you can step back to part time and get a job. A local shelter can help you gather resources as well. Your parents cannot just call the police and have you returned if you leave. | 1 | 524 | 2.352941 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | eduez2x | edugq6o | 1,547,244,914 | 1,547,245,993 | 11 | 80 | They can't legally stop you from going your own way. They could try to initiate legal action if they claim you took their property, like money in their bank account. But they can't make you stay somewhere. That would be unlawful detention and possibly kidnapping depending on the circumstances. | Aside from personal documents (ID, passport, Birth Certificate, etc), you will need a bank account *in your name only, not shared with your parents*. You may find some helpful resources for income and housing through women's shelters or domestic violence assistance groups. Don't give up, at first things will be scary and difficult, but it will get better. | 0 | 1,079 | 7.272727 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edufvrb | eduhyqo | 1,547,245,469 | 1,547,246,785 | 34 | 65 | You can open a bank account of your own, and if you are currently enrolled in college you can step back to part time and get a job. A local shelter can help you gather resources as well. Your parents cannot just call the police and have you returned if you leave. | If you are currently a student, there should be an office on campus that can help you work through this. Ask your advisor or a trusted professor. It could also be a way to get your hands on your documents- if you “need” to show them to one of the offices at school for documentation. Are you a citizen? Were you born here? These are important in terms of getting your paperwork and keeping it safe. If you were born here you can get your birth certificate. Please do not leave the country with your family for any reason. Not a wedding or funeral- nothing. | 0 | 1,316 | 1.911765 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | eduhyqo | eduez2x | 1,547,246,785 | 1,547,244,914 | 65 | 11 | If you are currently a student, there should be an office on campus that can help you work through this. Ask your advisor or a trusted professor. It could also be a way to get your hands on your documents- if you “need” to show them to one of the offices at school for documentation. Are you a citizen? Were you born here? These are important in terms of getting your paperwork and keeping it safe. If you were born here you can get your birth certificate. Please do not leave the country with your family for any reason. Not a wedding or funeral- nothing. | They can't legally stop you from going your own way. They could try to initiate legal action if they claim you took their property, like money in their bank account. But they can't make you stay somewhere. That would be unlawful detention and possibly kidnapping depending on the circumstances. | 1 | 1,871 | 5.909091 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edufvrb | eduez2x | 1,547,245,469 | 1,547,244,914 | 34 | 11 | You can open a bank account of your own, and if you are currently enrolled in college you can step back to part time and get a job. A local shelter can help you gather resources as well. Your parents cannot just call the police and have you returned if you leave. | They can't legally stop you from going your own way. They could try to initiate legal action if they claim you took their property, like money in their bank account. But they can't make you stay somewhere. That would be unlawful detention and possibly kidnapping depending on the circumstances. | 1 | 555 | 3.090909 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edv6qc2 | eduez2x | 1,547,265,315 | 1,547,244,914 | 12 | 11 | I forgot: change your name as soon as you can and open your new accts with your new name. No phone contracts! | They can't legally stop you from going your own way. They could try to initiate legal action if they claim you took their property, like money in their bank account. But they can't make you stay somewhere. That would be unlawful detention and possibly kidnapping depending on the circumstances. | 1 | 20,401 | 1.090909 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edut2kz | edv6qc2 | 1,547,254,312 | 1,547,265,315 | 7 | 12 | It might be advisable to contact your local police department and the department where they live and let them know that you’re planning on breaking ties with your parents so they don’t waste time and resources trying to track you down. Also doing a little research on this and found an organization called 1800runaway .org (I don’t know if this sub allows links) I wish you the best of luck. | I forgot: change your name as soon as you can and open your new accts with your new name. No phone contracts! | 0 | 11,003 | 1.714286 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edvaju1 | edvbkxl | 1,547,268,830 | 1,547,269,792 | 10 | 11 | If you’re in college go to the legal department. They usually have free services. | Your family is currently being financially and emotionally abusive towards you. ​ I would seek out your local women's shelter and see if you could obtain housing there as you get a job and get on your feet because it is a safe place away from your parents. You can contact your local women's shelter by obtaining the phone number or office location from your local library or police station. If you choose police station, only call the non-emergency line or go visit there in person. | 0 | 962 | 1.1 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edut2kz | edvbkxl | 1,547,254,312 | 1,547,269,792 | 7 | 11 | It might be advisable to contact your local police department and the department where they live and let them know that you’re planning on breaking ties with your parents so they don’t waste time and resources trying to track you down. Also doing a little research on this and found an organization called 1800runaway .org (I don’t know if this sub allows links) I wish you the best of luck. | Your family is currently being financially and emotionally abusive towards you. ​ I would seek out your local women's shelter and see if you could obtain housing there as you get a job and get on your feet because it is a safe place away from your parents. You can contact your local women's shelter by obtaining the phone number or office location from your local library or police station. If you choose police station, only call the non-emergency line or go visit there in person. | 0 | 15,480 | 1.571429 |
af0os0 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | I'm (20F) planning on "running away" from my family and cutting them off forever. What should I know/do before leaving so I don't get in trouble with the law? I am a college student living in America, but my parents are from Pakistan. They are extremely strict and very controlling. They are the stereotypical immigrant parent. They are mostly using me to get a well paying job so they can live off of my money till they die. I was not allowed to hang out with other people. I get in trouble for even texting other people. I was made to believe life is only about going to school, getting A's, being married off, and getting a well paying job. I do not own ANYTHING. Literally my parents own everything I have. My car is in their name, I have a bank account that's in their name, my phone contract is in their name, I do not have ANY personal documents. I'm also not allowed to get a job. This is so embarrassing and ridiculous that I seem to be the only 20 year old going through this. I feel so pathetic and stupid. I absolutely cannot tell my parents I want to leave and never contact them again because they might do something extreme.... how can I leave ? | edvaju1 | edut2kz | 1,547,268,830 | 1,547,254,312 | 10 | 7 | If you’re in college go to the legal department. They usually have free services. | It might be advisable to contact your local police department and the department where they live and let them know that you’re planning on breaking ties with your parents so they don’t waste time and resources trying to track you down. Also doing a little research on this and found an organization called 1800runaway .org (I don’t know if this sub allows links) I wish you the best of luck. | 1 | 14,518 | 1.428571 |
1p0m59 | legaladvice_train | 0.75 | If I'm getting sued for custody of my kid by my daughters moms parents under "grandparents rights" laws in PA. Can I just move out of the state or country to keep my daughter safe? Thank You! | ccxj1f2 | ccxpbwi | 1,382,490,379 | 1,382,508,845 | 11 | 20 | If you all live in PA, no, you can't. PA has jurisdiction. Is the child's mother in the picture? If yes, in what way? In what way have the grandparents been in the child's life? | Hey, you've gotten some great advice so far. Now, from the heart of Schuylkill County, in the middle of a sleep deprived night while I'm working on a brief to the Commonwealth Court, let me toss in my view here. To answer your main question first, no. Pennsylvania has adopted the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, both relating within and outside of the Commonwealth. If you leave the state with the child, the action can be brought in her "home jurisdiction," which will be the jurisdiction she last lived in for six consecutive months prior to the filing of the action. You leave the state, the court still maintains the jurisdiction damn near automatically, as the home jurisdiction almost always has precedence in these matters. Now, on to the real issue, which is what can happen. A little history: In 2011, the sections of the PA statutes which specifically related to the rights of the grandparents to full or partial custody were repealed and replaced with "third person custody" statutes that specifically mention grandparents. These statutes are split into two sections: Full and Partial Custody claims. To explain the difference, Full custody means that the grandparents are seeking to have primary legal custody of your daughter, superior to any grant of custody given to you or her mother. Partial custody, in layman's terms, is "visitation." So...which are they requesting? Because the requirements are different. See, to even bring an action that isn't subject to dismissal, the grandparents must have statutory standing. In PA, standing is determined based on what form of custody the grandparents are seeking, full or partial. For full custody, there are several requirements...essentially that there must be a relationship which was originally established by the consent of the parents, but more importantly that the child must be either (1) a dependent, (2) in danger if custody remains with either of the parents, or (3) have made their primary residence with the grandparents for 12 or more months prior to being removed from the home, and that the action be brought no more than 6 months after the removal. To explain dependency, and to very very quickly summarize what it means, it would generally be found where the child is not receiving proper care or guidance at home (parents are unfit), the child is a delinquent, truant, etc etc etc. Absent a finding of dependency by the court, there will be no standing for full custody. As long as neither you nor her mother are, essentially, engaging in abuse or neglect with the child, there's likely to be a lack of standing on the second factor. Finally, if the child did not reside with the grandparents (or in their home) primarily for more than 12 months, or if such residence ended more than 6 months prior to the filing of the action, there is no standing for full custody. You will hear some attorneys, especially those that have been in practice for a bit but haven't done this sort of thing often, scoff at the concept of standing based on a 2000 case which implied grandparents always have standing...at for a while, they were somewhat right. However, the repealing and issuance of a new statute in 2011, now in effect, eliminated that loophole and now requires the grandparents meet the standing requirements given above (in essence, they no longer have standing simply by virtue of being the grandparents). Partial Custody has a separate set of requirements, namely: (1) the grandparents seeking partial custody be the parents of a parent of the child that is deceased. Unless her mother is dead, don't worry here. (2) you and your daughter's mother have been separated for six months or more, and have commenced with or been granted a divorce. We'll hit more on that in a second. (3) The same primary residence factor as we looked at under full custody. Again, if the child never made her primary residence with the grandparents, did so for less than 12 months, or it ended more than 6 months ago, no standing. Now, let's take a look at Number 2 for the Partial Custody again. Here's a fun fact: until recently (and by recently, I mean roughly 3 months ago), it was generally ruled that you and the child's mother had to have been married in order to seek partial custody where the first and third factors did not apply. That has changed now, of course, with a recent ruling in the Superior Court...the times, they do move on. So, yeah, they'll probably have standing under that. So, to sum up right now, here's where we are: If they are seeking full custody of your daughter, they'll need to show dependency, risk of harm (generally speaking), or some primary residence simply to pass the bar of showing they have the standing to bring the action. Absent one of these, your attorney can and should seek to dismiss for lack of standing. This is, of course, assuming that all of the facts you've given so far are true, complete, and there are no other factors in consideration here. If they are seeking Partial Custody (visitation) with your daughter, they will lack standing on the residential factor and the death of a parent factor...but will likely have standing if you and the child's mother ended your relationship more than six months ago and have not reconciled. So, they have standing to seek visitation...but will they get it? Completely different question. The court in PA will apply a "best interest of the child" test to determine whether visitation (or full custody) for the grandparents is "good." For partial custody in grandparent actions, especially those based in the simple end of the relationship, the factors considered by the Court would be: (1) Degree and nature of the relationship between child and grandparents prior to current; (2) impact of visitation on the parent-child relationship; and (3)if the award is in the best interest of the child in general. So, on the barest of details provided here, this is what I could see happening: IF they are seeking full custody, and IF your child has not (and is not likely to be) adjudged as a dependent, and IF there has been no primary residence with the grandparents at all, and IF there is no threat to the child if she remains in the primary custody of you or her mother, then it is highly likely an appropriate motion will result in the dismissal of their action for lack of standing. If they are seeking Partial Custody (visitation) either solely or in the alternative (coupled with a full custody claim), then you will likely have to still deal with that, as they are likely to have standing so long as you and the mother have been separated or ended the relationship six months ago or longer. However, primary physical and legal custody will remain with her mother or you, with the grandparents at best being able to seek visitation. The court will assess the relationship between the child and her grandparents, the effect granting visitation will have on the child's relationship with you and her mother, and, as in all custody matters, weigh factors regarding the best interests of the child. As always, however, don't just take my word for it. Retain counsel in your area, if necessary through a pro bono or legal aid provider (who, to be honest, have some flat out awesome family law attorneys...it's a big part of public interest work these days). Provide ALL details to your attorney, so they can determine the validity of the grandparents' action and take appropriate action. But above all, just love on your daughter and be the best damn dad you can. In PA, the parents are presumed to be the best place for a child absent a showing or recommendation to the contrary. It is unlikely you'll lose your daughter fully. But still...consult local counsel. Now, since I hate leaving on a down note, how about them Flyers, eh? | 0 | 18,466 | 1.818182 |
1p0m59 | legaladvice_train | 0.75 | If I'm getting sued for custody of my kid by my daughters moms parents under "grandparents rights" laws in PA. Can I just move out of the state or country to keep my daughter safe? Thank You! | ccxpbwi | ccxj1t7 | 1,382,508,845 | 1,382,490,410 | 20 | 3 | Hey, you've gotten some great advice so far. Now, from the heart of Schuylkill County, in the middle of a sleep deprived night while I'm working on a brief to the Commonwealth Court, let me toss in my view here. To answer your main question first, no. Pennsylvania has adopted the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, both relating within and outside of the Commonwealth. If you leave the state with the child, the action can be brought in her "home jurisdiction," which will be the jurisdiction she last lived in for six consecutive months prior to the filing of the action. You leave the state, the court still maintains the jurisdiction damn near automatically, as the home jurisdiction almost always has precedence in these matters. Now, on to the real issue, which is what can happen. A little history: In 2011, the sections of the PA statutes which specifically related to the rights of the grandparents to full or partial custody were repealed and replaced with "third person custody" statutes that specifically mention grandparents. These statutes are split into two sections: Full and Partial Custody claims. To explain the difference, Full custody means that the grandparents are seeking to have primary legal custody of your daughter, superior to any grant of custody given to you or her mother. Partial custody, in layman's terms, is "visitation." So...which are they requesting? Because the requirements are different. See, to even bring an action that isn't subject to dismissal, the grandparents must have statutory standing. In PA, standing is determined based on what form of custody the grandparents are seeking, full or partial. For full custody, there are several requirements...essentially that there must be a relationship which was originally established by the consent of the parents, but more importantly that the child must be either (1) a dependent, (2) in danger if custody remains with either of the parents, or (3) have made their primary residence with the grandparents for 12 or more months prior to being removed from the home, and that the action be brought no more than 6 months after the removal. To explain dependency, and to very very quickly summarize what it means, it would generally be found where the child is not receiving proper care or guidance at home (parents are unfit), the child is a delinquent, truant, etc etc etc. Absent a finding of dependency by the court, there will be no standing for full custody. As long as neither you nor her mother are, essentially, engaging in abuse or neglect with the child, there's likely to be a lack of standing on the second factor. Finally, if the child did not reside with the grandparents (or in their home) primarily for more than 12 months, or if such residence ended more than 6 months prior to the filing of the action, there is no standing for full custody. You will hear some attorneys, especially those that have been in practice for a bit but haven't done this sort of thing often, scoff at the concept of standing based on a 2000 case which implied grandparents always have standing...at for a while, they were somewhat right. However, the repealing and issuance of a new statute in 2011, now in effect, eliminated that loophole and now requires the grandparents meet the standing requirements given above (in essence, they no longer have standing simply by virtue of being the grandparents). Partial Custody has a separate set of requirements, namely: (1) the grandparents seeking partial custody be the parents of a parent of the child that is deceased. Unless her mother is dead, don't worry here. (2) you and your daughter's mother have been separated for six months or more, and have commenced with or been granted a divorce. We'll hit more on that in a second. (3) The same primary residence factor as we looked at under full custody. Again, if the child never made her primary residence with the grandparents, did so for less than 12 months, or it ended more than 6 months ago, no standing. Now, let's take a look at Number 2 for the Partial Custody again. Here's a fun fact: until recently (and by recently, I mean roughly 3 months ago), it was generally ruled that you and the child's mother had to have been married in order to seek partial custody where the first and third factors did not apply. That has changed now, of course, with a recent ruling in the Superior Court...the times, they do move on. So, yeah, they'll probably have standing under that. So, to sum up right now, here's where we are: If they are seeking full custody of your daughter, they'll need to show dependency, risk of harm (generally speaking), or some primary residence simply to pass the bar of showing they have the standing to bring the action. Absent one of these, your attorney can and should seek to dismiss for lack of standing. This is, of course, assuming that all of the facts you've given so far are true, complete, and there are no other factors in consideration here. If they are seeking Partial Custody (visitation) with your daughter, they will lack standing on the residential factor and the death of a parent factor...but will likely have standing if you and the child's mother ended your relationship more than six months ago and have not reconciled. So, they have standing to seek visitation...but will they get it? Completely different question. The court in PA will apply a "best interest of the child" test to determine whether visitation (or full custody) for the grandparents is "good." For partial custody in grandparent actions, especially those based in the simple end of the relationship, the factors considered by the Court would be: (1) Degree and nature of the relationship between child and grandparents prior to current; (2) impact of visitation on the parent-child relationship; and (3)if the award is in the best interest of the child in general. So, on the barest of details provided here, this is what I could see happening: IF they are seeking full custody, and IF your child has not (and is not likely to be) adjudged as a dependent, and IF there has been no primary residence with the grandparents at all, and IF there is no threat to the child if she remains in the primary custody of you or her mother, then it is highly likely an appropriate motion will result in the dismissal of their action for lack of standing. If they are seeking Partial Custody (visitation) either solely or in the alternative (coupled with a full custody claim), then you will likely have to still deal with that, as they are likely to have standing so long as you and the mother have been separated or ended the relationship six months ago or longer. However, primary physical and legal custody will remain with her mother or you, with the grandparents at best being able to seek visitation. The court will assess the relationship between the child and her grandparents, the effect granting visitation will have on the child's relationship with you and her mother, and, as in all custody matters, weigh factors regarding the best interests of the child. As always, however, don't just take my word for it. Retain counsel in your area, if necessary through a pro bono or legal aid provider (who, to be honest, have some flat out awesome family law attorneys...it's a big part of public interest work these days). Provide ALL details to your attorney, so they can determine the validity of the grandparents' action and take appropriate action. But above all, just love on your daughter and be the best damn dad you can. In PA, the parents are presumed to be the best place for a child absent a showing or recommendation to the contrary. It is unlikely you'll lose your daughter fully. But still...consult local counsel. Now, since I hate leaving on a down note, how about them Flyers, eh? | Is your daughter's mother still in the picture? Have your daughter's maternal grandparents been a part of your daughter's life? If so to what extent? | 1 | 18,435 | 6.666667 |
b2yz6e | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Neighbor claiming squatters rights to a fence on our property I'm in Colorado in an urban area. We are in the process of replacing a fence in the back and the front of our house. Our neighbor agreed that the fence in back needed to be replaced but couldn't pay for it, that's fine we were willing to pay for it all because it was about to fall down and it was full of holes. In the front we have no fence enclosing the property. However there is a 4 ft wrought iron fence that extends from our front stoop to the sidewalk, it does not connect to anything else and is well within our property by about 18" (we have a property survey that is on file with the city and show the fence inside of our lines). Our plan is to remove this old fence and enclose our property with a new 4 ft fence that is a different style. The city didn't even require a permit to remove it because it doesn't enclose anything. We informed our neighbor that we were doing this and she told us that the fence has been there for 40 years (since before she moved in about 30 years ago) and she doesn't want us to remove it. We showed her the property line survey which shows it on our land and claimed she has squatters rights to it since it's been there so long. She demands that if we take it out we have to pay to replace it next to our new fence. We are already paying for the back fence, we can't afford to move this old fence over 4" (still on our property). She has said she'll take us to court, not sure if she'll follow through, but also from what I can research her case seems pretty flimsy. Can we just remove it and wait to see what she does? | eiwt03c | eiwlqnk | 1,553,031,139 | 1,553,026,475 | 5 | 2 | If she can't afford to pay for her part of the fence, how is she going to pay a lawyer to take you to court? | You can remove your fence with no problem, and from what you've said it seems like you'd easily win a court case regarding the property line. However, you should see whether you can force her to pay for the fence (or for half of it) since she doesn't want to, she can just say she doesn't want a fence there in the first place in which case you'd have to choose between being fenceless or keeping the fence that's inside your property. I'm not a lawyer btw, but this might be the decision you would have to make | 1 | 4,664 | 2.5 |
b2yz6e | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Neighbor claiming squatters rights to a fence on our property I'm in Colorado in an urban area. We are in the process of replacing a fence in the back and the front of our house. Our neighbor agreed that the fence in back needed to be replaced but couldn't pay for it, that's fine we were willing to pay for it all because it was about to fall down and it was full of holes. In the front we have no fence enclosing the property. However there is a 4 ft wrought iron fence that extends from our front stoop to the sidewalk, it does not connect to anything else and is well within our property by about 18" (we have a property survey that is on file with the city and show the fence inside of our lines). Our plan is to remove this old fence and enclose our property with a new 4 ft fence that is a different style. The city didn't even require a permit to remove it because it doesn't enclose anything. We informed our neighbor that we were doing this and she told us that the fence has been there for 40 years (since before she moved in about 30 years ago) and she doesn't want us to remove it. We showed her the property line survey which shows it on our land and claimed she has squatters rights to it since it's been there so long. She demands that if we take it out we have to pay to replace it next to our new fence. We are already paying for the back fence, we can't afford to move this old fence over 4" (still on our property). She has said she'll take us to court, not sure if she'll follow through, but also from what I can research her case seems pretty flimsy. Can we just remove it and wait to see what she does? | eix4bta | eiwlqnk | 1,553,038,994 | 1,553,026,475 | 3 | 2 | Take it down and give it to her. It seems to hold sentimental value (which makes sense if you see it every day for 40 years). Then she can put it somewhere on her property! | You can remove your fence with no problem, and from what you've said it seems like you'd easily win a court case regarding the property line. However, you should see whether you can force her to pay for the fence (or for half of it) since she doesn't want to, she can just say she doesn't want a fence there in the first place in which case you'd have to choose between being fenceless or keeping the fence that's inside your property. I'm not a lawyer btw, but this might be the decision you would have to make | 1 | 12,519 | 1.5 |
b2yz6e | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | Neighbor claiming squatters rights to a fence on our property I'm in Colorado in an urban area. We are in the process of replacing a fence in the back and the front of our house. Our neighbor agreed that the fence in back needed to be replaced but couldn't pay for it, that's fine we were willing to pay for it all because it was about to fall down and it was full of holes. In the front we have no fence enclosing the property. However there is a 4 ft wrought iron fence that extends from our front stoop to the sidewalk, it does not connect to anything else and is well within our property by about 18" (we have a property survey that is on file with the city and show the fence inside of our lines). Our plan is to remove this old fence and enclose our property with a new 4 ft fence that is a different style. The city didn't even require a permit to remove it because it doesn't enclose anything. We informed our neighbor that we were doing this and she told us that the fence has been there for 40 years (since before she moved in about 30 years ago) and she doesn't want us to remove it. We showed her the property line survey which shows it on our land and claimed she has squatters rights to it since it's been there so long. She demands that if we take it out we have to pay to replace it next to our new fence. We are already paying for the back fence, we can't afford to move this old fence over 4" (still on our property). She has said she'll take us to court, not sure if she'll follow through, but also from what I can research her case seems pretty flimsy. Can we just remove it and wait to see what she does? | eixagfj | eiwlqnk | 1,553,043,421 | 1,553,026,475 | 3 | 2 | Can you uproot the fence and just give it to her? She could do what she wants with it then. | You can remove your fence with no problem, and from what you've said it seems like you'd easily win a court case regarding the property line. However, you should see whether you can force her to pay for the fence (or for half of it) since she doesn't want to, she can just say she doesn't want a fence there in the first place in which case you'd have to choose between being fenceless or keeping the fence that's inside your property. I'm not a lawyer btw, but this might be the decision you would have to make | 1 | 16,946 | 1.5 |
ts72js | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My Ex Has Ignored us for 10 years, now She wants to give me money, what do? My ex has given me no child support for 10 years. I moved my daughter and myself to a different state 4 years ago and have not gone after her for money in any way to avoid putting us through legal hell across states. She recently contacted my daughter again and the two have been talking on and off. That's fine with me it's relatively harmless and my kid is pretty smart she won't fall for any bullshit her mother tells her. Today her mom texts me out of the blue and says she wants to send me money. "I can't repay you for everything but I want to try." If I accept this money, what are the legal ramifications? Does it count as child support? If I tell her I don't want her money (what I want to do) does that count as legally exonerating her of child support obligation? Can't find anything on this specific situation I doubt it happens much. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. | i2q60gg | i2qjr6s | 1,648,654,580 | 1,648,660,054 | 916 | 1,064 | Actually paying CS does not give her rights to see the children. She can still take you to court for that anyway at any time. If you could use it then take it and help make a better life for the kids, if you don't really need it put it in a fund for them for later in life like school etc. | People who can answer this question: family law attorneys in your state. People who cannot: anyone else. Source: I am a family law attorney and it is a very fact-specific field and the law changes drastically by state. Yes, even compared to many other areas of law. | 0 | 5,474 | 1.161572 |
ts72js | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My Ex Has Ignored us for 10 years, now She wants to give me money, what do? My ex has given me no child support for 10 years. I moved my daughter and myself to a different state 4 years ago and have not gone after her for money in any way to avoid putting us through legal hell across states. She recently contacted my daughter again and the two have been talking on and off. That's fine with me it's relatively harmless and my kid is pretty smart she won't fall for any bullshit her mother tells her. Today her mom texts me out of the blue and says she wants to send me money. "I can't repay you for everything but I want to try." If I accept this money, what are the legal ramifications? Does it count as child support? If I tell her I don't want her money (what I want to do) does that count as legally exonerating her of child support obligation? Can't find anything on this specific situation I doubt it happens much. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. | i2qf4a1 | i2qjr6s | 1,648,658,232 | 1,648,660,054 | 357 | 1,064 | You do not have the legal ability to relieve her of her child support obligations. | People who can answer this question: family law attorneys in your state. People who cannot: anyone else. Source: I am a family law attorney and it is a very fact-specific field and the law changes drastically by state. Yes, even compared to many other areas of law. | 0 | 1,822 | 2.980392 |
ts72js | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My Ex Has Ignored us for 10 years, now She wants to give me money, what do? My ex has given me no child support for 10 years. I moved my daughter and myself to a different state 4 years ago and have not gone after her for money in any way to avoid putting us through legal hell across states. She recently contacted my daughter again and the two have been talking on and off. That's fine with me it's relatively harmless and my kid is pretty smart she won't fall for any bullshit her mother tells her. Today her mom texts me out of the blue and says she wants to send me money. "I can't repay you for everything but I want to try." If I accept this money, what are the legal ramifications? Does it count as child support? If I tell her I don't want her money (what I want to do) does that count as legally exonerating her of child support obligation? Can't find anything on this specific situation I doubt it happens much. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. | i2ptf60 | i2qjr6s | 1,648,649,466 | 1,648,660,054 | 319 | 1,064 | >If I tell her I don't want her money (what I want to do) does that count as legally exonerating her of child support obligation? No. You can still go to court and request support. There is a calculator each state has that will determine what she owes. | People who can answer this question: family law attorneys in your state. People who cannot: anyone else. Source: I am a family law attorney and it is a very fact-specific field and the law changes drastically by state. Yes, even compared to many other areas of law. | 0 | 10,588 | 3.335423 |
ts72js | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My Ex Has Ignored us for 10 years, now She wants to give me money, what do? My ex has given me no child support for 10 years. I moved my daughter and myself to a different state 4 years ago and have not gone after her for money in any way to avoid putting us through legal hell across states. She recently contacted my daughter again and the two have been talking on and off. That's fine with me it's relatively harmless and my kid is pretty smart she won't fall for any bullshit her mother tells her. Today her mom texts me out of the blue and says she wants to send me money. "I can't repay you for everything but I want to try." If I accept this money, what are the legal ramifications? Does it count as child support? If I tell her I don't want her money (what I want to do) does that count as legally exonerating her of child support obligation? Can't find anything on this specific situation I doubt it happens much. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. | i2q60gg | i2ptf60 | 1,648,654,580 | 1,648,649,466 | 916 | 319 | Actually paying CS does not give her rights to see the children. She can still take you to court for that anyway at any time. If you could use it then take it and help make a better life for the kids, if you don't really need it put it in a fund for them for later in life like school etc. | >If I tell her I don't want her money (what I want to do) does that count as legally exonerating her of child support obligation? No. You can still go to court and request support. There is a calculator each state has that will determine what she owes. | 1 | 5,114 | 2.871473 |
ts72js | legaladvice_train | 0.97 | My Ex Has Ignored us for 10 years, now She wants to give me money, what do? My ex has given me no child support for 10 years. I moved my daughter and myself to a different state 4 years ago and have not gone after her for money in any way to avoid putting us through legal hell across states. She recently contacted my daughter again and the two have been talking on and off. That's fine with me it's relatively harmless and my kid is pretty smart she won't fall for any bullshit her mother tells her. Today her mom texts me out of the blue and says she wants to send me money. "I can't repay you for everything but I want to try." If I accept this money, what are the legal ramifications? Does it count as child support? If I tell her I don't want her money (what I want to do) does that count as legally exonerating her of child support obligation? Can't find anything on this specific situation I doubt it happens much. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. | i2ptf60 | i2qf4a1 | 1,648,649,466 | 1,648,658,232 | 319 | 357 | >If I tell her I don't want her money (what I want to do) does that count as legally exonerating her of child support obligation? No. You can still go to court and request support. There is a calculator each state has that will determine what she owes. | You do not have the legal ability to relieve her of her child support obligations. | 0 | 8,766 | 1.119122 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyadvde | cyadtrl | 1,450,992,249 | 1,450,992,161 | 859 | 55 | This is what bars are for. As a Scotsman, I give you formal permission to be hammered before 11am tomorrow. In all seriousness, thank you for the update. It's a shitty situation to be in, and there are no great outcomes, but this at least is one there'll be no major issues from. (touch wood) | I'm glad you got her out. You've got no friends or family to spend Christmas with? | 1 | 88 | 15.618182 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyaeftf | cyaeizy | 1,450,993,413 | 1,450,993,592 | 70 | 110 | Regular advice, not legal advice... Make a mental note specifically for future drunk you that reminds you not to call or text her. You will probably miss her at some point. Do you best to remember that the small amount of happiness she might bring you will be paid for with far more of your own future anguish. Speaking from experience... | Glad her mother is an adult. If you're alone for christmas you might want to consider calling around to some soup kitchens/shelters or hospitals to see if they need volunteers or visitors. Before you go out and get hammered of course. | 0 | 179 | 1.571429 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyadtrl | cyaeizy | 1,450,992,161 | 1,450,993,592 | 55 | 110 | I'm glad you got her out. You've got no friends or family to spend Christmas with? | Glad her mother is an adult. If you're alone for christmas you might want to consider calling around to some soup kitchens/shelters or hospitals to see if they need volunteers or visitors. Before you go out and get hammered of course. | 0 | 1,431 | 2 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyadwe4 | cyaeizy | 1,450,992,307 | 1,450,993,592 | 18 | 110 | I wouldn't give her an excuse to come back. If you are on good terms with the parents, pack up all the stuff and ask them when you can drop of her stuff when she isn't there. Don't give her a chance to come back. If she moved out, which is sounds like, you can also change the locks, I believe. | Glad her mother is an adult. If you're alone for christmas you might want to consider calling around to some soup kitchens/shelters or hospitals to see if they need volunteers or visitors. Before you go out and get hammered of course. | 0 | 1,285 | 6.111111 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyagwij | cyaeftf | 1,450,998,555 | 1,450,993,413 | 110 | 70 | Link to first post: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/3xyrvz/my_girlfriend_cheated_on_me_but_is_now_refusing/ | Regular advice, not legal advice... Make a mental note specifically for future drunk you that reminds you not to call or text her. You will probably miss her at some point. Do you best to remember that the small amount of happiness she might bring you will be paid for with far more of your own future anguish. Speaking from experience... | 1 | 5,142 | 1.571429 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyagwij | cyadtrl | 1,450,998,555 | 1,450,992,161 | 110 | 55 | Link to first post: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/3xyrvz/my_girlfriend_cheated_on_me_but_is_now_refusing/ | I'm glad you got her out. You've got no friends or family to spend Christmas with? | 1 | 6,394 | 2 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyaf9j0 | cyagwij | 1,450,995,101 | 1,450,998,555 | 47 | 110 | If you haven't already done so, please change the locks ASAP. | Link to first post: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/3xyrvz/my_girlfriend_cheated_on_me_but_is_now_refusing/ | 0 | 3,454 | 2.340426 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyadwe4 | cyagwij | 1,450,992,307 | 1,450,998,555 | 18 | 110 | I wouldn't give her an excuse to come back. If you are on good terms with the parents, pack up all the stuff and ask them when you can drop of her stuff when she isn't there. Don't give her a chance to come back. If she moved out, which is sounds like, you can also change the locks, I believe. | Link to first post: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/3xyrvz/my_girlfriend_cheated_on_me_but_is_now_refusing/ | 0 | 6,248 | 6.111111 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyadtrl | cyaeftf | 1,450,992,161 | 1,450,993,413 | 55 | 70 | I'm glad you got her out. You've got no friends or family to spend Christmas with? | Regular advice, not legal advice... Make a mental note specifically for future drunk you that reminds you not to call or text her. You will probably miss her at some point. Do you best to remember that the small amount of happiness she might bring you will be paid for with far more of your own future anguish. Speaking from experience... | 0 | 1,252 | 1.272727 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyadwe4 | cyaeftf | 1,450,992,307 | 1,450,993,413 | 18 | 70 | I wouldn't give her an excuse to come back. If you are on good terms with the parents, pack up all the stuff and ask them when you can drop of her stuff when she isn't there. Don't give her a chance to come back. If she moved out, which is sounds like, you can also change the locks, I believe. | Regular advice, not legal advice... Make a mental note specifically for future drunk you that reminds you not to call or text her. You will probably miss her at some point. Do you best to remember that the small amount of happiness she might bring you will be paid for with far more of your own future anguish. Speaking from experience... | 0 | 1,106 | 3.888889 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyadwe4 | cyaf9j0 | 1,450,992,307 | 1,450,995,101 | 18 | 47 | I wouldn't give her an excuse to come back. If you are on good terms with the parents, pack up all the stuff and ask them when you can drop of her stuff when she isn't there. Don't give her a chance to come back. If she moved out, which is sounds like, you can also change the locks, I believe. | If you haven't already done so, please change the locks ASAP. | 0 | 2,794 | 2.611111 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyahkj7 | cyaj1gt | 1,451,000,015 | 1,451,003,407 | 25 | 31 | If you're in SoCal, you're welcome to spend it with me and mine. Plans involve dressing like Star Trek personnel and seeing Star Wars. | Are you near Boston? Go hit up the Matzah Ball at Royale. There will be a bunch of single Jewish women with nothing to do on Christmas Eve/Day either. Good Luck! | 0 | 3,392 | 1.24 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyadwe4 | cyaj1gt | 1,450,992,307 | 1,451,003,407 | 18 | 31 | I wouldn't give her an excuse to come back. If you are on good terms with the parents, pack up all the stuff and ask them when you can drop of her stuff when she isn't there. Don't give her a chance to come back. If she moved out, which is sounds like, you can also change the locks, I believe. | Are you near Boston? Go hit up the Matzah Ball at Royale. There will be a bunch of single Jewish women with nothing to do on Christmas Eve/Day either. Good Luck! | 0 | 11,100 | 1.722222 |
3y49t7 | legaladvice_train | 0.95 | [Update] My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. A number of people told me to give an update, so here it is. I gave her written notice last night like everyone suggested and then left her alone. I talked to her mother and told her what happened. She called me this morning and said she was coming over. She walked in and started packing her stuff pretty much straight away. The whole time my ex was literally just crying and stomping around like a child. I have never seen her look that defeated before. After everything that's happened I thought it would be satisfying to see her like that but it was actually really sad. After grabbing some of her stuff, her mom dragged her out the door and that was it. Ten minutes, in and out. Fairly anticlimactic really. I assume that she will come by another time to get the rest of her stuff. I've always really liked her mom. She's a no-nonsense type of woman. Her mom apologized on her behalf, but I still haven't received any sort of heartfelt apology from her unfortunately. I am glad that she's gone, but it's pretty sad that I'm going to have to spend Christmas alone. I think the eviction notice was the main reason her mother came over, so Thanks /r/legaladvice! | cyahkj7 | cyadwe4 | 1,451,000,015 | 1,450,992,307 | 25 | 18 | If you're in SoCal, you're welcome to spend it with me and mine. Plans involve dressing like Star Trek personnel and seeing Star Wars. | I wouldn't give her an excuse to come back. If you are on good terms with the parents, pack up all the stuff and ask them when you can drop of her stuff when she isn't there. Don't give her a chance to come back. If she moved out, which is sounds like, you can also change the locks, I believe. | 1 | 7,708 | 1.388889 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy8y1fu | cy928cs | 1,450,881,255 | 1,450,888,763 | 130 | 383 | Does she have a lease? She just moved in with you two weeks ago? You can try calling the non-emergency line and asking if the police will remove her, but I think there's a good chance they won't since she moved in with you and it will be a "civil" matter. You will have to follow the normal procedures in your state to evict someone. Absolutely under no circumstances should you remove her with force. If things become heated, leave, and call the police right away. | Do you have her parents phone number? Maybe call them and explain what she did and that you're going to have to involve the police unless she moves out? They may help persuade her to leave? | 0 | 7,508 | 2.946154 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy928cs | cy927wn | 1,450,888,763 | 1,450,888,743 | 383 | 93 | Do you have her parents phone number? Maybe call them and explain what she did and that you're going to have to involve the police unless she moves out? They may help persuade her to leave? | A lot of people here are saying to evict her or to contact a lawyer... I was in a similar situation a few years ago and I paid my ex $300 to leave that Friday (I think I gave her like 4 days?). Was nice to be rid of her and the headache. Try to offer her money to make her go away - it may work easier than other things posted here. | 1 | 20 | 4.11828 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy928cs | cy8y7l3 | 1,450,888,763 | 1,450,881,607 | 383 | 15 | Do you have her parents phone number? Maybe call them and explain what she did and that you're going to have to involve the police unless she moves out? They may help persuade her to leave? | Serve your ex-gf with a notice to quit and give her 30 days to move. Here is an example of a form you can use: http://www.bostonapartments.com/rentips-noticetoquit.htm However, in MA you have to allow the non-lease tenant at least one full rental period. For example, if your ex-gf pays rent monthly and you serve her a 30-day notice to quit now, you have to give her until 31 January to move. If by the end of the notice period she doesn't move, go to your local courthouse and start eviction proceedings. | 1 | 7,156 | 25.533333 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy8xwjt | cy928cs | 1,450,880,965 | 1,450,888,763 | 13 | 383 | If you can't convince her to leave on her own you have to go through the required eviction process. | Do you have her parents phone number? Maybe call them and explain what she did and that you're going to have to involve the police unless she moves out? They may help persuade her to leave? | 0 | 7,798 | 29.461538 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy8y1fu | cy8xwjt | 1,450,881,255 | 1,450,880,965 | 130 | 13 | Does she have a lease? She just moved in with you two weeks ago? You can try calling the non-emergency line and asking if the police will remove her, but I think there's a good chance they won't since she moved in with you and it will be a "civil" matter. You will have to follow the normal procedures in your state to evict someone. Absolutely under no circumstances should you remove her with force. If things become heated, leave, and call the police right away. | If you can't convince her to leave on her own you have to go through the required eviction process. | 1 | 290 | 10 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy8y7l3 | cy927wn | 1,450,881,607 | 1,450,888,743 | 15 | 93 | Serve your ex-gf with a notice to quit and give her 30 days to move. Here is an example of a form you can use: http://www.bostonapartments.com/rentips-noticetoquit.htm However, in MA you have to allow the non-lease tenant at least one full rental period. For example, if your ex-gf pays rent monthly and you serve her a 30-day notice to quit now, you have to give her until 31 January to move. If by the end of the notice period she doesn't move, go to your local courthouse and start eviction proceedings. | A lot of people here are saying to evict her or to contact a lawyer... I was in a similar situation a few years ago and I paid my ex $300 to leave that Friday (I think I gave her like 4 days?). Was nice to be rid of her and the headache. Try to offer her money to make her go away - it may work easier than other things posted here. | 0 | 7,136 | 6.2 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy927wn | cy8xwjt | 1,450,888,743 | 1,450,880,965 | 93 | 13 | A lot of people here are saying to evict her or to contact a lawyer... I was in a similar situation a few years ago and I paid my ex $300 to leave that Friday (I think I gave her like 4 days?). Was nice to be rid of her and the headache. Try to offer her money to make her go away - it may work easier than other things posted here. | If you can't convince her to leave on her own you have to go through the required eviction process. | 1 | 7,778 | 7.153846 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy9agop | cy932lf | 1,450,901,721 | 1,450,890,082 | 26 | 21 | Legal answer: head down to district court/housing court and ask to have an order for possession entered. They will require you give her 3 days notice. That puts you right after Xmas. Actual answer: tell her she can go home and live with her parents on her own, or you can go over to her parents and tell them everything that happened and ask them to step in an help her act like an adult. My experience suggests she will move out of you time it correctly. Do it today so she has to spend Christmas feeling judged by her parents if she fails to back down. | You can call the police and explain the situation. Whatever you do, don't touch her or her things. Do start the legal eviction process for your state. Do move your valuables out and make plans to have a place to stay if things start to get crazy. Do not talk about this anywhere on social media. Take pictures of the place now. That way you can have some sort of proof of damages if she gets crazy on the place. | 1 | 11,639 | 1.238095 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy9agop | cy8y7l3 | 1,450,901,721 | 1,450,881,607 | 26 | 15 | Legal answer: head down to district court/housing court and ask to have an order for possession entered. They will require you give her 3 days notice. That puts you right after Xmas. Actual answer: tell her she can go home and live with her parents on her own, or you can go over to her parents and tell them everything that happened and ask them to step in an help her act like an adult. My experience suggests she will move out of you time it correctly. Do it today so she has to spend Christmas feeling judged by her parents if she fails to back down. | Serve your ex-gf with a notice to quit and give her 30 days to move. Here is an example of a form you can use: http://www.bostonapartments.com/rentips-noticetoquit.htm However, in MA you have to allow the non-lease tenant at least one full rental period. For example, if your ex-gf pays rent monthly and you serve her a 30-day notice to quit now, you have to give her until 31 January to move. If by the end of the notice period she doesn't move, go to your local courthouse and start eviction proceedings. | 1 | 20,114 | 1.733333 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy9agop | cy8xwjt | 1,450,901,721 | 1,450,880,965 | 26 | 13 | Legal answer: head down to district court/housing court and ask to have an order for possession entered. They will require you give her 3 days notice. That puts you right after Xmas. Actual answer: tell her she can go home and live with her parents on her own, or you can go over to her parents and tell them everything that happened and ask them to step in an help her act like an adult. My experience suggests she will move out of you time it correctly. Do it today so she has to spend Christmas feeling judged by her parents if she fails to back down. | If you can't convince her to leave on her own you have to go through the required eviction process. | 1 | 20,756 | 2 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy8y7l3 | cy932lf | 1,450,881,607 | 1,450,890,082 | 15 | 21 | Serve your ex-gf with a notice to quit and give her 30 days to move. Here is an example of a form you can use: http://www.bostonapartments.com/rentips-noticetoquit.htm However, in MA you have to allow the non-lease tenant at least one full rental period. For example, if your ex-gf pays rent monthly and you serve her a 30-day notice to quit now, you have to give her until 31 January to move. If by the end of the notice period she doesn't move, go to your local courthouse and start eviction proceedings. | You can call the police and explain the situation. Whatever you do, don't touch her or her things. Do start the legal eviction process for your state. Do move your valuables out and make plans to have a place to stay if things start to get crazy. Do not talk about this anywhere on social media. Take pictures of the place now. That way you can have some sort of proof of damages if she gets crazy on the place. | 0 | 8,475 | 1.4 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy932lf | cy8xwjt | 1,450,890,082 | 1,450,880,965 | 21 | 13 | You can call the police and explain the situation. Whatever you do, don't touch her or her things. Do start the legal eviction process for your state. Do move your valuables out and make plans to have a place to stay if things start to get crazy. Do not talk about this anywhere on social media. Take pictures of the place now. That way you can have some sort of proof of damages if she gets crazy on the place. | If you can't convince her to leave on her own you have to go through the required eviction process. | 1 | 9,117 | 1.615385 |
3xyrvz | legaladvice_train | 0.93 | My girlfriend cheated on me but is now refusing to leave my apartment. I found out that she cheated on me yesterday. She was my first kiss, sex and relationship so it's crushing. I asked her to leave but she refused and eventually I just locked myself in my study and went to sleep. She lives with me and is dependent upon me. I just got home from work and she's still here. She's convinced that we can work it out. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don't want to put my hands on her in any way because I don't want to be accused of assault or anything like that. She only moved in two weeks ago from her parents place. I don't know what to do. Can the police legally remove her? MA | cy8y7l3 | cy8xwjt | 1,450,881,607 | 1,450,880,965 | 15 | 13 | Serve your ex-gf with a notice to quit and give her 30 days to move. Here is an example of a form you can use: http://www.bostonapartments.com/rentips-noticetoquit.htm However, in MA you have to allow the non-lease tenant at least one full rental period. For example, if your ex-gf pays rent monthly and you serve her a 30-day notice to quit now, you have to give her until 31 January to move. If by the end of the notice period she doesn't move, go to your local courthouse and start eviction proceedings. | If you can't convince her to leave on her own you have to go through the required eviction process. | 1 | 642 | 1.153846 |
km9z4v | legaladvice_train | 0.89 | I (30m) share custody of my son (9m) with my ex wife (30f) and I’m just fed up with her lifestyle and habits and I am able to provide a much more suitable life for him growing up. What is my best course of action? She’s always been a poor decision maker and bad with money and dependent on others but it’s really come to a climax at this point and I feel the need to do something about it right now. So we’ve been divorced since our son was 3 years old. Ever since then we have shared physical and legal custody week-to-week. He stay with her and then me week on/week off. She was married again after me and then divorced and now she’s with another guy. They live in a 1br apartment on a really rough side of town. Our son always comes back reeking of cigarette smoke. She’s been acting especially weird lately and I’m suspecting hard drugs are involved even though I’ve never known her to have a history with them and I don’t have any true evidence of it and here’s why. She’s been sleeping through everything. A couple months ago our son had a dentist appointment at 8am and I had told her about it and she agreed to let me pick him up and take him there but when I get to her house and call, she doesn’t answer. And then she doesn’t get back with me until noon and says they overslept. And then a few weeks after that she was supposed to pick him up at 5:30pm for her week and he’s all set to go with his shoes and jacket on and she doesn’t show and doesn’t answer her phone. She doesn’t get in touch with me until 9:00pm and says she overslept. Then last Monday we had agreed that I would pick him up at 5:30pm for my week and I get to her house and she doesn’t answer and I wait 30 minutes, calling repeatedly. No answer. I went and followed through with my plans that night which were supposed to include him, and calling intermittently, and I start to get concerned. Finally, 9:00pm rolls around and I decided to call the police non-emergency line to do a wellness check. The police told me to meet them there and they would help me figure it out. So I arrive at her place again that night and the police are supposed to be coming soon, but I call her one more time, and she finally answers, sounding really fatigued. She said she will send him down and so I call the police back and tell them never mind and I’ve got it handled. She said that she overslept. So that night after all that, I bring him home and he shares that he was looking out the window and he says he could see me out front and he tried to wake her up but she wouldn’t wake up. And that he told her I was out front and she told him, “no, it’s probably somebody else.” And that also her and her boyfriend are constantly fighting (but not physically) and screaming at each other day in and day out, and that they stay in their room quite a bit with the door always locked. And he told me that sometimes he hears his mom in the bedroom screaming “help me!” And then when he goes to check on her she tells him to go back to bed. He also shared that his mom’s grandmother passed away a couple weeks ago and he wanted to go to the funeral and they were expected to be there but his mom overslept and his moms mom was furious about them missing the funeral. He also shared that he often has to make his own food when his mom is sleeping. Our son says that he would rather stay with me at my place. I’ve got a good relationship with my live-in fiancée and we also have 2 children (8f and 6m) who were our foster children and now we have guardianship over them. Everyone here get along, there is no fighting or screaming, other than sometimes between the kids but it’s resolved rather quickly and growing up with siblings I feel that’s pretty normal. There is plenty of space for everyone and we keep it clean and we’ve got plenty of resources to provide a happy stable life. We live in a nice neighborhood where the kids can go outside and ride their bikes around and they’ve got lots of neighbor friends who they are all close with. My fiancée thinks that we need to call CPS on my son’s mom and let CPS do their investigation and take it from there. My mom thinks I need to file a motion or and exparte with the court. And so I was just trying to think of the right way to handle this all week and then I went to drop him off tonight. I never knew exactly which unit they lived in so I thought I would walk him up to their apartment door and maybe peek inside and see what it’s like in there. So I go up and knock on the door and some older, rough looking guy who I haven’t seen before answers the door and gathered who I was and invited me inside. First thing you see when you walk in is a sink overflowing with dirty dishes, the apartment reeks of cigarette smoke, and they’ve got 4 huge bags of trash just sitting in their kitchen. The mom’s boyfriend sees me and immediately runs away and doesn’t say hi or anything. My son shows me his “room” which is really supposed to be a dining room and there’s just a loveseat, a blanket, and a tv. No dresser, no things of his. Just that. And that’s where he’s living every alternate week. This is not how I ever envisioned my child would be growing up. Just imagining him sorting through that mess of trash and dirty dishes trying to find himself something to eat while his mom is sleeping the day away doesn’t sit right with me at all. I am ready to do something about it. She’s not prioritizing being a parent. This is not the environment I want my son spending time in. I didn’t see any drugs or anything truly incriminating when I went in there though. And the apartment is above a smoke shop and I’ve seen lots of shady people going in and out of there while sitting out there waiting for her to answer her phone. And he says that sometime the smoke shop workers watch him and he hangs out there without his mom. And then to make things even more complicated, at the beginning of this moth she asked me to have him an extra week because they needed to move because they were getting evicted for not paying rent. And so I had him an extra week and they didn’t move and now they say they’re going to try to stay there for a few more months without paying the rent, or so I’ve gathered. And their only option currently is moving in with the boyfriend’s mom who lives 40is minutes away from the school he goes to. His school is currently online but it’s going to be trouble for her to get him to school and back living that far away and with only one working vehicle. All in all, he’s just a lot better off living with me where things are stable and secure. This is in Grand Rapids, MI, by the way. Any help or advise is sincerely appreciated! Thank you and thanks for reading!!! I’m happy to provide any more details you may need. | ghed7a1 | ghejl6c | 1,609,255,665 | 1,609,259,098 | 9 | 10 | Just to back up what other people are saying about getting a lawyer - these conditions your son is in sound like an emergency to me. And the legal process is not quick. So I would just agree with the top commenters and urge you to contact your lawyer ASAP. Before taking photos or writing anything down, contact them to get that process started. Good luck | Not a lawyer but it sounds like you need one, YESTERDAY Get a notebook and start chronologically documenting. If you’re able to enter the apartment for pick up or drop off again, take photos to go with that day’s documentation and, most importantly, get a family law attorney ASAP. Also, I’m not trying to be a jerk here but I was a kid with a parent that manipulated the system so I hope you receive this that way, if there are pro-bono or family lawyers in your local courts that either help people file ex-parte or represent them for no fees, consult with them, whether you use them or not, because then they can’t represent her. Best of luck and love across the miles to your son | 0 | 3,433 | 1.111111 |
au5b9t | legaladvice_train | 0.9 | [MA] Girlfriend's Ex claimed her as a dependent on his taxes after they broke up and she moved out of state, now IRS is after her for >10k My girlfriend told me tonight that her Ex she broke up with years ago has been claiming her as a dependent on his taxes (at least until 2017). The IRS is now after her for over 10k in owed taxes and told her she could fight it and to contact a lawyer. She says she contacted multiple lawyers and they all told her it would be cheaper to just pay than fight it. She's been paying it back for months and just told me. Is there any recourse here? If he's been claiming her shouldn't HE owe these taxes? | eh5q66j | eh5v74n | 1,550,991,299 | 1,550,998,102 | 3 | 6 | Has your GF been filing taxes? | He should owe the taxes and she probably got crappy advice from a collection agent that works for the IRS. I would call them up and get in touch with their fraud department and let them know that he was illegally claiming her as a dependent and that he shouldn't have been joint filing or using any of her personal information. | 0 | 6,803 | 2 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im6qsrm | im6qdcn | 1,661,727,076 | 1,661,726,883 | 123 | 2 | She's your tenant and you're her landlord. Yes, without anything in writing or her paying. You have to give her 30-day written "notice to vacate" specifying exactly when her tenancy terminates, so give it today and say 9/28 @ midnight. Be sure to be able to prove in court you gave that notice, if it comes to that. If she's not out by the date, then you take her to court to evict. A sheriff with a court order will come to remove her. However, if she's violent, call the police. Get a restraining order and don't mess that up again. She'll have to leave, presumably. (Is the old one still active?) Then you can go through the termination process in safety. Her not having anywhere to go is her problem. And that's why the law requires the 30-day notice, to give someone time to figure that out. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 193 | 61.5 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im8gpqc | im7fnxg | 1,661,763,962 | 1,661,738,921 | 34 | 20 | call the police immediately after she hits you. get another protection order, and then start the eviction process immediately after the PO goes into effect | Please record on video all interactions with her for your protection. | 1 | 25,041 | 1.7 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im8gpqc | im80v78 | 1,661,763,962 | 1,661,750,935 | 34 | 12 | call the police immediately after she hits you. get another protection order, and then start the eviction process immediately after the PO goes into effect | Please contact a local domestic violence agency. They can help you navigate this process. | 1 | 13,027 | 2.833333 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im70iaq | im8gpqc | 1,661,731,629 | 1,661,763,962 | 14 | 34 | Restraining order seems like a good start | call the police immediately after she hits you. get another protection order, and then start the eviction process immediately after the PO goes into effect | 0 | 32,333 | 2.428571 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im7t457 | im8gpqc | 1,661,745,958 | 1,661,763,962 | 12 | 34 | A restraining order. That’s basically the only way unless you want to legal evict her. | call the police immediately after she hits you. get another protection order, and then start the eviction process immediately after the PO goes into effect | 0 | 18,004 | 2.833333 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im8gpqc | im6qdcn | 1,661,763,962 | 1,661,726,883 | 34 | 2 | call the police immediately after she hits you. get another protection order, and then start the eviction process immediately after the PO goes into effect | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 37,079 | 17 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im7fnxg | im70iaq | 1,661,738,921 | 1,661,731,629 | 20 | 14 | Please record on video all interactions with her for your protection. | Restraining order seems like a good start | 1 | 7,292 | 1.428571 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im6qdcn | im7fnxg | 1,661,726,883 | 1,661,738,921 | 2 | 20 | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | Please record on video all interactions with her for your protection. | 0 | 12,038 | 10 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im6qdcn | im80v78 | 1,661,726,883 | 1,661,750,935 | 2 | 12 | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | Please contact a local domestic violence agency. They can help you navigate this process. | 0 | 24,052 | 6 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im70iaq | im6qdcn | 1,661,731,629 | 1,661,726,883 | 14 | 2 | Restraining order seems like a good start | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 4,746 | 7 |
x08fr7 | legaladvice_train | 0.91 | How do I (25 M) evict my girlfriend (24 F)? I moved into a house about a year ago, I own it and only my name is on the mortgage and I pay for all utilities and home related costs outside of some food and decorations/furniture. My girlfriend moved in with me immediately and has stayed since outside of an instance where she assaulted me and had a protection order placed for almost a month where she stayed at her own place until I took her back. Things have not gotten better as my girlfriend has been violent with me multiple times, twice the last two days even where she has struck me multiple times and has emotionally abused me by calling me an “autistic freak” when I do actually have autism. I have tried to let her know I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore and she should leave but she doesn’t listen and refuses to leave saying I will have to shoot her to her to leave. She also says she has nowhere to go as her family won’t let her stay with them most likely due to how psychotic she is and she doesn’t have a job to pay rent. TL;DR: How can I evict my girlfriend who doesn’t pay any expenses outside of food and her own personal items from my house that I only own? Additional info: I live in Iowa We do not have any children, just 3 cats | im7t457 | im6qdcn | 1,661,745,958 | 1,661,726,883 | 12 | 2 | A restraining order. That’s basically the only way unless you want to legal evict her. | Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1* | 1 | 19,075 | 6 |
ybqpy0 | legaladvice_train | 0.78 | My wife is pregnant and we are facing eviction Location: NH, USA My wife and I received an eviction notice from our landlord/rental agency this past Friday afternoon at 4:15 pm. My wife was home, but they just stuck it in our door. I found it when I arrived home from work later that night. This has nothing to do with anything we have done or have not done. We are model tenants—quiet and clean and pay our rent on time every month. We have one cat, don’t throw parties, or play loud music, or have people over really ever. The reason for eviction cited on the notice is “Landlord plans to renovate unit.” Our lease says the landlord is an LLC. After some digging, we found our building is owned by an individual who is known for evicting tenants, “renovating” the units, then jacking up the rent. There is apparently nothing in NH law preventing him from doing this. The thing is, our unit was renovated before we moved in, and we’re only 5 months in to a 12-month lease. On top of this, my wife is almost 6 months pregnant so an eviction is literally the last thing we need, especially since we \*finally\* just finished fully unpacking everything and making it feel like home. We already plan on fighting this. We know we don’t actually have to leave until a judge rules in favor of the landlord. We’re just trying to look ahead and see if we have a leg to stand on—if a judge could potentially side with us in a state where these “renovictions” seem to be perfectly legal and common practice. Or if any of you fine people can point us in the direction of any resources or individuals that could help, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance. | ithwmfy | ithw4b1 | 1,666,554,202 | 1,666,554,017 | 42 | 10 | > The reason for eviction cited on the notice is “Landlord plans to renovate unit.” There is apparently nothing in NH law preventing him from doing this. Sure there is. Contract law. If you have a lease, they have to honor the lease for the full 12 months. So check your lease to make sure that this isn't allowed by your *lease* since that's all that matters. | Unless the lease states otherwise, you can not be told to vacate while you still have a valid lease agreement. | 1 | 185 | 4.2 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hos2vbm | hos2aog | 1,639,662,643 | 1,639,662,361 | 546 | 19 | Choking a child is child abuse. What is the context here? Does the parent intend to be joking around and the kid doesn’t like it or is the parent intending to hurt the kid? | If you feel very unsafe i would say it’s okay to fight back to ensure you are safe, your safety should be your top priority over other things. I hope you are okay? And yes this is child abuse! | 1 | 282 | 28.736842 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hos83wx | hosg1c8 | 1,639,665,097 | 1,639,668,472 | 269 | 479 | That's assault, possibly attempted murder, not just child abuse. You need to reach out to an adult you trust. Trusted teacher? Coach? Something like that? | If you're thinking about responding physically to this situation, you need to think long and hard about your safety. An adult choking you at 15 can *easily kill* you. It would be a much better decision to find some place safe, don't go back to the house, file a police report as soon as you can. | 0 | 3,375 | 1.780669 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hosg1c8 | hos2aog | 1,639,668,472 | 1,639,662,361 | 479 | 19 | If you're thinking about responding physically to this situation, you need to think long and hard about your safety. An adult choking you at 15 can *easily kill* you. It would be a much better decision to find some place safe, don't go back to the house, file a police report as soon as you can. | If you feel very unsafe i would say it’s okay to fight back to ensure you are safe, your safety should be your top priority over other things. I hope you are okay? And yes this is child abuse! | 1 | 6,111 | 25.210526 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hos83wx | hos2aog | 1,639,665,097 | 1,639,662,361 | 269 | 19 | That's assault, possibly attempted murder, not just child abuse. You need to reach out to an adult you trust. Trusted teacher? Coach? Something like that? | If you feel very unsafe i would say it’s okay to fight back to ensure you are safe, your safety should be your top priority over other things. I hope you are okay? And yes this is child abuse! | 1 | 2,736 | 14.157895 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hosjqkj | hos2aog | 1,639,669,956 | 1,639,662,361 | 65 | 19 | It is 100% child abuse to choke your kid, doesn't matter what age. No it wouldn't be disrespectful, it'd be self defense and a natural reaction to being choked is to fight back. Are you alright? If you need someone to talk to I'm here. | If you feel very unsafe i would say it’s okay to fight back to ensure you are safe, your safety should be your top priority over other things. I hope you are okay? And yes this is child abuse! | 1 | 7,595 | 3.421053 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hoskrl0 | hos2aog | 1,639,670,366 | 1,639,662,361 | 29 | 19 | Its child abuse. Let a school official know or call CPS when you're some place safe. Self defense would be allowed if it's within reason. Meaning if you're being choked you fought to break free. This doesnt mean that once you're free you can just keep beating this person or use a weapon. You have to use a reasonable amount of force necessary. No gun or no knife when only hands being used Google your states stand your ground laws. Always when in self defense you try to free yourself then escape the situation not just fight until they're down or unresponsive. | If you feel very unsafe i would say it’s okay to fight back to ensure you are safe, your safety should be your top priority over other things. I hope you are okay? And yes this is child abuse! | 1 | 8,005 | 1.526316 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hos2aog | hoswec6 | 1,639,662,361 | 1,639,674,897 | 19 | 23 | If you feel very unsafe i would say it’s okay to fight back to ensure you are safe, your safety should be your top priority over other things. I hope you are okay? And yes this is child abuse! | Absolutely. I’m a mandated reporter and would absolutely have to report this. You legally can use self defense. Do whatever you can that makes you feel less in danger. Please seek help from a child advocate, or someone at school, etc. This should never happen. Parents should face consequences for this. Even being threatened to be choked by a parent is something a mandated reporter would have to report because it’s illegal. Keep in mind that any of your school or therapeutic providers are probably mandated reporters, and so child services will get involved if you tell them. It doesn’t mean you’re going into foster care automatically, it just means your parents will be investigated. | 0 | 12,536 | 1.210526 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hoswec6 | hossnen | 1,639,674,897 | 1,639,673,451 | 23 | 11 | Absolutely. I’m a mandated reporter and would absolutely have to report this. You legally can use self defense. Do whatever you can that makes you feel less in danger. Please seek help from a child advocate, or someone at school, etc. This should never happen. Parents should face consequences for this. Even being threatened to be choked by a parent is something a mandated reporter would have to report because it’s illegal. Keep in mind that any of your school or therapeutic providers are probably mandated reporters, and so child services will get involved if you tell them. It doesn’t mean you’re going into foster care automatically, it just means your parents will be investigated. | Choking anyone in my state is a felony. A child would also be a child abuse. If someone is choking you in a domestic violence situation (ie partner or parent, etc) they are very likely to kill you in the future. Choking is a major escalation in the level of violence and control. You need to get medical help now! Choking can have serious medical consequences appear days after the incident. | 1 | 1,446 | 2.090909 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hossnen | hotgnfw | 1,639,673,451 | 1,639,682,765 | 11 | 14 | Choking anyone in my state is a felony. A child would also be a child abuse. If someone is choking you in a domestic violence situation (ie partner or parent, etc) they are very likely to kill you in the future. Choking is a major escalation in the level of violence and control. You need to get medical help now! Choking can have serious medical consequences appear days after the incident. | Choking as domestic violence is the number one red flag for death due to domestic violence. If you have been choked by a family member (or a partner) in an act of non consensual violence it is time to get out. At 15 or 16 you are old enough to go to a women's shelf alone (boys under 18 should be welcome at most shelters too). Standard domestic violence advice: do not tell your abuser, get you identity documents if you can easily get them otherwise leave them, get a new phone & phone number if you can. Pack what you need if you can without raising suspicion, put it in your school bag maybe or if your abuser works leave school and get your stuff while they are gone, if you cannot get stuff without them noticing then leave it, your life is more important. If so far it has just been threats of choking then much less likely your life is in immediate danger. In that case go down the police / teacher / child protective services route. | 0 | 9,314 | 1.272727 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hotgnfw | hot0x7u | 1,639,682,765 | 1,639,676,617 | 14 | 4 | Choking as domestic violence is the number one red flag for death due to domestic violence. If you have been choked by a family member (or a partner) in an act of non consensual violence it is time to get out. At 15 or 16 you are old enough to go to a women's shelf alone (boys under 18 should be welcome at most shelters too). Standard domestic violence advice: do not tell your abuser, get you identity documents if you can easily get them otherwise leave them, get a new phone & phone number if you can. Pack what you need if you can without raising suspicion, put it in your school bag maybe or if your abuser works leave school and get your stuff while they are gone, if you cannot get stuff without them noticing then leave it, your life is more important. If so far it has just been threats of choking then much less likely your life is in immediate danger. In that case go down the police / teacher / child protective services route. | Yes, it is child abuse. No, it is not disrespectful to fight back against anyone choking you, parents included. | 1 | 6,148 | 3.5 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hotgnfw | hot6mnx | 1,639,682,765 | 1,639,678,829 | 14 | 3 | Choking as domestic violence is the number one red flag for death due to domestic violence. If you have been choked by a family member (or a partner) in an act of non consensual violence it is time to get out. At 15 or 16 you are old enough to go to a women's shelf alone (boys under 18 should be welcome at most shelters too). Standard domestic violence advice: do not tell your abuser, get you identity documents if you can easily get them otherwise leave them, get a new phone & phone number if you can. Pack what you need if you can without raising suspicion, put it in your school bag maybe or if your abuser works leave school and get your stuff while they are gone, if you cannot get stuff without them noticing then leave it, your life is more important. If so far it has just been threats of choking then much less likely your life is in immediate danger. In that case go down the police / teacher / child protective services route. | It is child abuse to choke your child, regardless of their age. It is NEVER disrespectful to try to protect yourself against an attack like that. | 1 | 3,936 | 4.666667 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hossnen | hotarpp | 1,639,673,451 | 1,639,680,452 | 11 | 14 | Choking anyone in my state is a felony. A child would also be a child abuse. If someone is choking you in a domestic violence situation (ie partner or parent, etc) they are very likely to kill you in the future. Choking is a major escalation in the level of violence and control. You need to get medical help now! Choking can have serious medical consequences appear days after the incident. | Choking is the last "step" before murder. If a parent or partner chokes their child or partner, the likelihood of that person being murdered skyrockets. If that happens to you again, do everything and anything to get out of the house and RUN. Then call 911 immediately. I know you probably won't want to see your parent(s) get in trouble, but you need to look at the most important thing here: protecting your own safety. Do you have anyone in your life that you trust to have an uncomfortable conversation with? A neighbor? Your pediatrician? Anyone at school? A friend's parent? Please please please go right now and explain what's going on. | 0 | 7,001 | 1.272727 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hotarpp | hot0x7u | 1,639,680,452 | 1,639,676,617 | 14 | 4 | Choking is the last "step" before murder. If a parent or partner chokes their child or partner, the likelihood of that person being murdered skyrockets. If that happens to you again, do everything and anything to get out of the house and RUN. Then call 911 immediately. I know you probably won't want to see your parent(s) get in trouble, but you need to look at the most important thing here: protecting your own safety. Do you have anyone in your life that you trust to have an uncomfortable conversation with? A neighbor? Your pediatrician? Anyone at school? A friend's parent? Please please please go right now and explain what's going on. | Yes, it is child abuse. No, it is not disrespectful to fight back against anyone choking you, parents included. | 1 | 3,835 | 3.5 |
rhr07i | legaladvice_train | 0.87 | is it child abuse to choke your kid? even if they are 15 or 16? and would it be disrespectful to fight back if your parent is trying to do that to you? | hotarpp | hot6mnx | 1,639,680,452 | 1,639,678,829 | 14 | 3 | Choking is the last "step" before murder. If a parent or partner chokes their child or partner, the likelihood of that person being murdered skyrockets. If that happens to you again, do everything and anything to get out of the house and RUN. Then call 911 immediately. I know you probably won't want to see your parent(s) get in trouble, but you need to look at the most important thing here: protecting your own safety. Do you have anyone in your life that you trust to have an uncomfortable conversation with? A neighbor? Your pediatrician? Anyone at school? A friend's parent? Please please please go right now and explain what's going on. | It is child abuse to choke your child, regardless of their age. It is NEVER disrespectful to try to protect yourself against an attack like that. | 1 | 1,623 | 4.666667 |
Subsets and Splits