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I am a failureMy relationship with my parents are failing apart. I just had the biggest fight with my mom yesterday. I feel that I've failed to be a good child and that I am a loser. It's just unfair to be born in this world without me asking for it. I kind of forced to live another - years in this unhappiness and uncertainty. I just wished theres a button to erase my existence. Like there wasnt me in the first place. Or if I could die peacefully cos im afraid of suiciding. I know other people have it worst, and people keep telling me that im still young, but being young doesnt mean i cant be sad and miserable. I just dont want to face my problems anymore. I wish I could be done. | suicide |
Im just so tired of being so tiredIm ready to go. | suicide |
Afraid to postIm sure Im being overly sensitive but I thought the reason people posted here was to possibly find someone to talk to or to get something off of their chest. My last post ended with someone telling me to just do it since I had it all planned out so well. Maybe Im just not tough enough for the internet as well as not being strong enough for life or suicide. Im sure there are plenty of you out there feeling trapped. Cant live, cant die. Ive been sleeping all day but my sleeping pills rarely work any more. Im just laying here alone now wishing I had the strength to do something. | suicide |
considering offing myself as of late.lately, i've just been really unhappy and i feel stuck. i always dread tomorrow, i can't sleep, and i can't tell anyone because then i'll just be inconveniencing them. if i tell my girlfriend, she'll just think she's not being a good s/o and i don't want to worry her with that. if i tell my parents or family, they'll see me differently and will possibly put me on a suicide watch (ironic). i practically have no friends to turn to, online or offline. my IRLs already dealt with a mutual friend wanting to off themself, i can't just do that to them again. i'm not too sure if i will or not, but every passing day i'm only being more convinced to do it. i have some ideas as to why i'm unhappy- mostly relationship issues, personal life issues, school, and other stresses are the cause. i don't know anymore. another day, another dread. | suicide |
Exhausted with the struggle and just so tiredIm just so tired of it all and dont know what to do anymore. I know Im not actually brave enough to do anything but Im just so tired of being miserable and lonely. I cry constantly and feel like I have no one. I cant even muster up the will to do my hair or bathe half the time. My kitchen is a mess. I just feel like I have lived feeling like crap for so long and Im just so tired of it. Im tired of wanting to cry all the time. Im tired of being angry. Im tired of feeling unhealthy and undesirable. Im tired of feeling like I am failing at life even when by a lot of standards Im not. Im tired of feeling like I cant even get help because I dont want to be red flagged. I just want to be ok. I cant fathom doing this forever and feel so stuck in a permanent hell. Sometimes it gets marginally better and then it always just goes back to hell. | suicide |
My girlfriend left and so did my will to liveSo a couple of months ago I got blindsided by the love of my life breaking up with me and I had to move out of her place. It wasn't that I did anything wrong just for her "the feels just aren't there" which I am really struggling to come to terms with. Since then I have lost all my motivation and interest in life. We used to work together too but I couldn't bear seeing her so I quit my job. The only thing that gives me any kind of focus is researching ways to kill myself (which I have done a lot if). I have now got a very well thought through plan which leaves a tidy body and is peaceful and has a back up built in to increase the chance of completion. Knowing this has brought me some level of piece having an exit when/if I need it. At this stage I am not about to do anything because of the effect it would have on my family. Everyday though I regret not having already done it and wish that I had. I don't want a future that doesn't involve her and spend most of my day thinking about how I would do it and what letters I would write. No idea what I am trying to achieve by posting but since I spent the whole day here I thought I should post. | suicide |
I keep waiting for someone to save me.Because I no longer want to save myself. I feel like the only way to survive is to give up my free will and let someone else control my life for me. I just fucking hate myself so much. And its eating at me from the inside out. It repeats over and over in my brain, i hate myself, I want to die. You can tell me over and over that Im not a burden or that I should ask for help, but how many times are people going to be willing to help me? I shouldnt rely on them being there. I should be able to take care of it all myself. None of this is supposed to happen. | suicide |
Is the Joker movie actually good ? I dont really know, I watched the movie and I thought it was good, then not so long ago, some dudes on Twitter say it wasnt actually that good and that movie sucks ass. Whats your opinion about the movie ? | non-suicide |
There's no toga top in the avatar editor / wouldn't recommend | non-suicide |
Interesting day if I do as so myself So today, I went to go check on a girl that I had a crush on last year who ghosted me completely after telling her I liked her. She was nice to me before and I found out she had a boyfriend the hard way. But once I told her, everything went to shit I found her IG that was publicized and had pictures up; followed her, and she removed me as a follower, privatized her account, and took down the photos. I follow request and she accepts. Then, requests to follow me. I come back and she just completely blocks me. I can tell by using my nd account for Tech, send her profile account to me via DM, and if it says cannot find user, Ive definitely been blocked. Funny thing is that I followed her from the beginning. Lmaoo | non-suicide |
Shoplifting is not UwU quirky Seriously. Stop. It only hurts the employees because of this wonderful thing called shrinkage. Even if you steal from *big companies*, the employees will be the ones who are mostly affected. They already have to deal with enough bs, so please just pay with your own money. Thanks for coming to my ted talk. I might get hate for this but idc | non-suicide |
Animal tier list. S+: raccoons, cats, possums A: all the other ones. F: those creepy ass mfs in the ocean. | non-suicide |
Utterly Defeated...Anyone else just feel completely defeated, broken and lost? I'm , my life is shit, I have no life experiences and I'm too fucked up to do anything about it. I have self confidence and desirability and only one real friend. I have extreme social anxiety and can't be around a large number of people or even know what to say or how to behave. I don't think I can go on like this anymore, I have achieved almost nothing in my life. Tonights plan is to lie here in bed and cry until either no more tears come out or I fall asleep, only to start the same shit cycle again tomorrow. I can't fucking don't this anymore. I've tried to turn my life around, believe me I have tried but I've just become a burden to myself and everyone around me. I am extremely self destructive, have trouble controlling my feelings and emotions and I am really really struggling mentally. My head is fucking killing me right now. I'm at my wits end, I just can't do this anymore, I fucking hate myself, my life, I'm so lost and broken and I just can't fucking do it anymore, I just want to give up :( | suicide |
Main character for whatever im calling this game  | non-suicide |
Socializing makes me want to dieI wish I was just being dramatic right now Its just that Ive never fit in anywhere before. I havent had an irl friend in years. People tend to dislike me because Im extremely unattractive and socially awkward. Tonight I got invited to a voice call and I had a panic attack and left. There were a lot of people I recognized who werent necessarily that friendly to me before and it just triggered my fight or flight. Im used to people hating me so I had to yeet outta there. Sad thing is, this made me want to self harm but I didnt. Its stupid but stuff like this gives me suicidal thoughts. Its insignificant, but after years and years of being rejected and made fun of Im just exhausted from it all | suicide |
I'ma go to sleep. You Americans behave now... Now now, how it may be fun to wake up to a whole country on fire, literally and metaphorically, i would prefer that you remain in one piece after the results conclude within the next hours or so. Goodnight, and good luck. | non-suicide |
Yall know those pajama hats that you see in movies and shit? Like theyre shaped like a cone with a fluff ball at the end. Who wears those? I doubt anyone here has seen someone irl wear it. | non-suicide |
Who is up to chat? My interests pokemon, star wars, minecraft. . Would like to talk to anyone who needs someone to talk to. Dm me if interested. | non-suicide |
After four years of bullshit, I finally have a real chance at this suicide thingI'm fairly certain that I can't get into the methodology of my suicide here, but after two failed attempts, I made a plan that I believe to be foolproof. I can't be bothered to go into extreme detail about why, but in summation: . My parents don't accept me for who I am and I want to hurt them for hurting me for so long. (**!!!**) . I am borderline obese (Found that out two days ago). . Given all my mental health issues, I know that no woman would ever love me. . I am ugly. . I am way too impatient with myself to change the multitudinous things about myself that I don't like. (**!!!**) . Like my body, my mind is weak and undisciplined. . I can't ever commit myself to anything (see # and #). Also, I can't seem to do anything right. . I haven't had a good night's sleep in a few weeks. . The mere sound of woman's voice fills me with trepidation. Wherever I see an attractive woman (read: *most of you people*), I get that good ol' mortal fear and later beat myself up for freaking the fuck out. (**!!!**) I'm going to play Dark Souls and try to beat it today before I die. Adios, compaeros! | suicide |
I want to kill myself and have everything ready, but I'm not planning on killing myself because I don't want to die...Having everything put in place just makes me feel a little better for some reason. But I could never hurt my family like that, on the other hand there are some nights when I really really want to die. Should I be in a hospital? I hate the psych ward, and I don't really like the suicide hotline people, and if you talk with friends about it they freak out. Anyways, that's all. | suicide |
i really want to overdose after finals are doneme and my boyfriend of months are probably about to break up. he's my lifeline, my best friend, the only real connection i've really made in college. if this actually happens i think i'm finally going to attempt suicide... i'm just broken, everyone leaves and as an autistic bisexual woman who's suffered trauma and abuse i'm not meant to have friends or be cared about. i just want everything to end. years is too long | suicide |
My dad has tasked me with driving expensive objects Little does he know all i do is race and drift I feel bad for whoever is getting this | non-suicide |
A kid in the next class over's Dad just died. This kid, Mason, his Dad just died. I don't know Mason very well, but it was a bit of a shock. He died of an aneurysm. | non-suicide |
is it normal to have suicidal thoughts and dreams every day at the age of ?as you may have seen in title whenever my mind goes a little unoccupied (eg bored in lessons) i always think of grabbing a kitchen knife and stabbing myself and always daydreaming (not very pleasant) of my mother clutching my corpse with blood all over it. this happens at least once or twice a day and it really isnt helping. i tell my mother(asian) and she said"wow youre so cool arent you" and dismissed me and tells me to study and no hopes for father at all. for schoolmates no because they would tell my year leader believe hes absolutely retarded. i had a friend who did counselling and she said its worse as you need to recall everything you are trying to forget. any help?? | suicide |
loopbeen depressed since years ago, i know it's not long but still. i've been wanting to pull the trigger long time ago too, but i just can't find the courage to do it. god i'm hopeless at everything. i have friends which are caring and such, but i feel weird opening up to them about depression. being an introvert makes it worse too. texted one of my close friend just now, and he asked whether am i ok or not, i really really want to open up, but depression just takes over my mind and saying that i'm fine. didn't even bother speaking about it to my family, as i'm trying to distance myself away from them since years ago. i keep having suicidal thoughts over and over and over again even though on days where i'm fine. i don't know what to feel. i seriously don't know what to feel anymore. i'm sorry. | suicide |
I dont know what to do anymoreI dont know how to keep living. I dont want to anymore. recently the thoughts have been constant and intrusive. I just feel so horrible all the time | suicide |
Anyone wanna do that number game or truth or dare im pretty bored Im m and gay dm me Have a nice day | non-suicide |
bruh why do new accounts have to have a day wait before being able to post like i just want to post without anyone knowing me | non-suicide |
When I'm driving, all I can think about is running face first into the next semi truck I see.We moved into a house with a garage, something we haven't had in quite some time. Every time I pull in, I imagine how easy it would be to duct tape the door and just let the car run. My mom takes Tramadol for her migraines. She leaves the bottle out and open on the kitchen counter on a regular basis; Usually within arms reach of a bottle of whiskey; I can hear her opening the bottle right now. If I could afford help, I'd probably get it. I know how this all started. It was when I bought her that fucking cent donut. damn it, I should have just stood my ground. Things would have been so different. One god damn lapse in judgement sets forth a series of events that leads me to my current mental state. That fucking donut. I hope she enjoyed it. ...Why do I bother. | suicide |
i hate talking to successful people it makes me so irrationally angry lol i just wanna sob like stop making me feel so pathetic its not even their fault like . but eat the rich yea | non-suicide |
I'm so tiredSpent the last years of my life watching my father wither away. I'm mediocre at my mediocre job. I'm mediocre in my college degree that I don't actually care about. My girlfriend of years whom I'm madly in love with is slipping away from me. I have no days off, no time to do anything. I've been depressed since the age of , and it never gets better I don't think I've ever felt more worthless. | suicide |
I baked a cake for my mom's th birthday! Today was my mom's th birthday and I baked her a cake. It as my first time and it probably wasn't the best, but I'm proud of my work. This is the picture of the cake: [ | non-suicide |
The "Why did I do that" -> "What the fuck is wrong with me" -> "I should kill myself" cycle of social anxietyI understand feeling this way as an awkward teenager, but I'm in my thirties. I should've grown out of this a long time ago. Anytime I do it, my go-to is distance. I cut off that person for a little while until I feel better. It's ruined relationships, friendships, jobs, you name it. Anyone have any advice for handling this other than therapy or "just think about something else"? Neither of those have helped. Neither has actually talking about it with the people in question. That usually makes it worse. | suicide |
Girlfriend tried to cheat on me with one of my best friendsFeels like it's all the same old same old and I feel that I knew that this was too good to be true. There's no real good people out there, everyone's got some kind of selfish motive to either fill their pockets or inflate their ego. There's always gonna be backstabbing people and I'm always gonna be lonely. I don't wanna deal with this anymore, I want to hang myself. | suicide |
Its my birthday todayI just feel so tired I dont want to be alive anymore. The sad thing is Im too lazy to actually do anything about it and finally off myself. Ill settle for sleep I guess. Planning on killing myself soon. | suicide |
Maladjusted for this worldI recently realized that all this time I've worked for years, the skills I obtained were never useful to any company, and now I'm getting rejection after rejection. So basically, I'm useless now. Despite me being , I always thought I never matured enough, or at least on par with my peers. Whenever I get to an interview, after introductions, I really notice the change in their voice whenever I honestly answer their questions. Was it of disappointment? I don't know, but I certainly feel it, and I always end up being disappointed with myself. Today I've started to make little efforts to desensitize my survival instincts, so when the time comes, it wouldn't kick in as much. I've been establishing a plan. I plan to withdraw all my life savings and put them where my parents could see it, record some farewell videos for my close friends and my girlfriend, and end it. For the longest time, I've been looking at my peers and wonder why I can't achieve what they have or why can't I be as strong and intelligent as them, and now I can understand. Maybe I'm really not meant for this world. | suicide |
How long to wait?Hi Reddit. Never posted, browsed occassionally, but this seems like the right place to temper my own understandings. To be brief, i have a very long history, and attempts. Had a year good stretch, then the last have been worse than any other part of my life. The trouble i went through as a teen has been the only real life raft for me; without it, surely attempt would have happened years ago. But even that only got me so far, hence why i'm here. I'm ready. My family isn't. I love them dearly. I wish it were simple enough that i could sacrifice myself for their happiness- as i am sure many others in my position feel. I understand the pain they will feel, and of course I dont want to inflict that, but i cant live life. Living isn't a matter of want and do not want. You can imagine my exasperation at others' accusations of selfishness; I hardly feel this is even my choice. The worst outcome is I live, but was discovered. This would make an already untenable situation become a prison of unholy proportions. The best outcome is that i wake up into godhood and tell my god-friends about this crazy dream i had about "humans" and how awful and wonderful and loving and hateful they were. Such contradictory creatures we are. I've thought enough on the subject, and i have what i need in place. I have several tan ABG 's, not for the event, but to keep me alive for the time being (without them, idk that i'd have cared enough to post this). They're also responsible for this, likely atrocious-to-read post being so verbose; i sincerely apologize. How long should I wait? | suicide |
What are you supposed to do when life honestly feels like its not worth living anymore?I feel so alone and afraid. I'm so tired of having motivation for anything. I'm so tired of having no passions in life. I'm tired of feeling ugly, worthless, and replaceable. I am tired of living. | suicide |
debate me capitalism doesnt cause innovation black people are disproportionately targeted by the police and this blm is good fascism is cringe trump is lowkey fascististics legalise drugs dollar minimum wage is kinda based anarcho monarcho bidenism is cool | non-suicide |
saw a tiktok saying the mask donald trump wore was actually panties for the pussy on under his chin and when i tell you i laughed i shoulda saved the video | non-suicide |
Craving and desire.Today has been like most days. Perfectly normal. My life has been looking up recently. Grades doing good. Starting to flirt with this girl. She seems to like me. Yet still I'm an idiot. I want to die. It isn't this overwhelming desire. It's this silent I'm not talking nothing's going on and I feel it would be great to die tonight. To feel that relief. The desire ebbs and flows. It gets stronger and weaker my wrist feeling alone and occupied. I don't know why. In all places I'm doing good. But still my body is stupid and I'm a piece of shit. I have no concept as to why. It just feels like a good thing. This very well might be the first suicidal thoughts I have as opposed to just attempting it. I have no idea why I'm like this. | suicide |
How many of yall are on spring break? I know I am :) | non-suicide |
I am too weak to even try properly. I cant even do it right. Please help.My attempt was pathetic. Just as pathetic as i am. | suicide |
Why do you hate chemistry I found it very interesting bit it seems like it's a very unpopular subject and I would like to know why. | non-suicide |
Im having a hard timeIts been a few years since Ive been at the edge, but I feel it again. The call of the void I like to cal it. Im having a hard time. Im just really having a fucking hard time. I want it to get better. | suicide |
I am a terrible person.I just want to die. | suicide |
When friend zoned Lmao filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
It feels good knowing I can end my life, nowI made a promise to myself that if I wasnt happy by May of , I would give myself permission to commit suicide. Well, Im nowhere near happy. As a matter of fact, I think I have developed PTSD from the last couple of years. Life holds us down and tortures us. Everything we have, we lose at some point. Every loving relationship we have eventually goes away, or devolves into hatred. Your own body degrades and your mind goes. And thats if youre lucky. Life is not a gift. It is a curse. And when we question why not kill ourselves instead, life replies, Hah! You dont know what its like to experience nothing! Youre too scared to do it! And I am scared of death. Im scared of experiencing nothingness. Thought I think we may possibly have a soul, I dont think these souls will experience anything once we die. Itll all probably just scatter in different directions, never to form again. But honestly? There are moments in life where I would gladly call the bluff of life, and kill myself. I dont care about hurting those who care, because I know theyll all go away one day. One day well *all* just go away. And life says to deal with it, because the alternative is nothing. Well I think Im ready to call life out on that. Because once I die, life will have nothing left to torture me with. It will be a sort of morbid victory over entropy and pain. | suicide |
AT THIS POINT I JUST WANNA KILLMYSELFIm just tired of being stuck in my mind. Im tired of letting everybody down and im tired of being a disappointment. I honestly been thinking about numerous different ways I could kill myself but im too weak to actually do it. I just wanna go away. | suicide |
Why does no one use the email function of reddit It's kinda sad, so underappreciated | non-suicide |
Want to die but don't want to kill myself.I feel like a useless hopeless piece of shit failure. Im not doing good enough in school that my parents are paying for. I feel if i drop out of college everyone will look down on me and my parents. I feel like i'm a waste of money and time. I just want to die but i dont want to kill myself. I don't want to hurt my mom or my dad or my brother by killing myself. I wish I could just die in a car accident or something. | suicide |
I visit the bridge everyday.I wait. Ive dealt with suicide my entire life. Starting from year , I've tried to commit times. Even when I was young, I didn't feel apart of anything. I saw and see a world of users and fucked up measures of success, love, friendship. I, want none of this. Night after night, I sob to myself and wonder why I'm here. I hate me & you. So now, I take a stroll along golden gate everyday. So many eyes, resting toward me, and I can't do it. I can't have someone see that. In childhood, I witnessed the death of a man, and I couldn't help but think "I wish that was me." No more sadness or happiness in its fleeting nature, just outside my grasp, unattainable in my mind. One day I will jump. One day, I'll be free. Edit: I want to thank everyone who has been kind to me. Z, I still love you, and I'm so glad you found someone to share your life with. You are an amazing person, and I haven't been able to love someone like I loved you, ever. Mom, you did the very best you could. I'm sorry I have no children. Sorry about a ton of things. To my sperm donor dad, thank you. I've never had high expectations, so I've never been dissatisfied with you.. My siblings, you are awesome, and I wish I wasn't decades apart from you. Keep on keeping on, do right by each other, and goodbye. You have my respect, and envy. | suicide |
M. I need friends to play games with  Hi, Im M. I want friends to play Ames with. I would prefer girls just because my male friends are jerks. Plus all my friends are guys so yeah. The games I mainly play are Apex legends, Minecraft(java edition), Valorant, And, among us If youre interested PM me | non-suicide |
How can I make conversations flow a little easier There have been times where I talk to someone and there arent that many awkward silences but that doesnt happen that much tbh. I just dont even know if its me or the other person thats making it awkward. Like well just stop talking and well have no idea what to say to each other. I REALLY hate when that happens. It also annoys me when the other person doesnt give me the opportunity to speak. I have a friend that I really like talking to but I gotta admit she talks so much about her own ideas and her own life, she doesnt really give me the opportunity to speak. Every time I try to talk I have to interrupt to get a word in, its exhausting. Then shell ask me why I dont talk much. The opposite is kind of annoying too(I know I get annoyed easily.) Someone who just expects me to take control of the conversation puts too much pressure on me. It has to be even both ways if that makes sense. Id like to know if you have any ideas how I can be better at talking to people. I realized that I try the conversation moving too fast so I just dont really understand what the other person is saying that much. I finish other peoples words for them which probably isnt a good thing. I accidentally interrupt them and Ive been called annoying before so I really dont want to come off that way. At the same time, I dont want to be shy because Ive been called that too. I wish I could just talk to people better | non-suicide |
Convince me before my set dateMy severe anxiety doesn't permit me to learn any essential skills. I have no friends because of my anxiety. A majority of my family hates me. We're poor as hell too. I can never experience true happiness because of my chronic depression. I can't get a job because I can't drive and because of the severity of my disorders. Therapy isn't working. And even if I wanted to continue I won't be able to afford it in a year. Convince me that someone with my ridiculous impairments should stay alive. | suicide |
Does anyone else feel like their not normal? I feel like Im missing out on being a teenager and this has nothing to do with quarantine. Lately Ive realised that I dont really have an interesting life I have maybe two friends that I occasionally hangout with otherwise I just do sports. I have no friends where I live and no one to talk to at school. Ive also never hooked up with anyone and no ones ever expressed a slight interest in me. I feel like I have to have a life like a tv show or a movie even though I know thats unrealistic, its like Ive been left behind. Anyway, have a good night guys and thanks for listening fellow kids. | non-suicide |
I had it all and lost it within a few months.I had my dream woman, beautiful kids, my own successful business, a big house, all the electronics and games I ever wanted as a kid and more... When my wife and I first started dating I begged her to always be faithful to me. That was the ONE thing I wanted from her. She would look me in my eyes and cry and tell me how much she loved me and that she would never hurt me like that. Every person I ever dated longer than a month cheated on me(). My ex wife cheated on me regularly. months ago, my wife cheated on me. Im so beyond destroyed I can not explain it. Many tell me Im being dramatic but this pain is worse than anything Ive ever felt and I lost my y/o brother when I was and then my mother - years later. Those pains pale in comparison for some reason. She is the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen in a weird way. When I used to look at her it was like all I could see was beauty and love. Now I see her deceit and destruction every time I look at her. We are trying to reconcile and work through this, but then a month ago my house burned down and I lost every material possession I cared about. I feel worthless after being on top of the world for the first time in my life. The fall being from so high is what makes it hurt so bad I believe. I cant sleep with out drinking and even then it only keeps me asleep for about - hours tops. Im awake at am almost every night and I have to drink - more beers to try to sleep another hour or two. Ive never had anxiety in my life but now if Im not drinking it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest and its hard to breath. I have constant intrusive thoughts and triggers from the stupidest things. I cant enjoy anything about life anymore. I pray to just not wake up every night. I do not want to be here anymore. My kids are the only thing that keeps me here and I wonder how long that will be enough of a reason. | suicide |
I am tired (and drunk a bit)Currently I'm sitting in my chair, listening to music, drinking, but I just can't get drunk. What has my life become? Drinking alcohol whenever there is a chance. I don't think I will kill myslef, I just don't want to feel anything. It's just these emotions that I can't get rid of, alcohol is just a temporary solution, but when it's not enough, what should I do? Drugs? Suicide is probably better solution than drugs... I don't even remember what I wanted to say, thank you for reading I guess. | suicide |
I think I'm gonna overdoseThings get worse. | suicide |
Gone But Not Forgtottem Rip u/globgirl, - Filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
Im tiredIm tired, so tired. | suicide |
My wedding is on Saturday and I want to kill my self the night before.Title pretty much explains it all but I intend to ramble more. I first tried to commit suicide when I was twelve and the thoughts have never diminished. I am a year old (female) now and this is the absolute worst I have ever felt. Ive been extremely depressed since I was and ridden full of anxiety since before pre school. Ive gone through some therapy but never quite found the right therapist so I would eventually quit going. I recently have became so paranoid to the point where I truly believe I am losing it. I have begun to hear footsteps, voices, people knocking on my door, things crawling in my hair, when none of these things are actually happening. not to mention I literally overthink every little thing. This has only been happening for about six months. I feel as if life is absolutely pointless and no matter what kind of good I come across, I am always left to be ultimately disappointed. Im tired of the system, capitalism, humans, school, work, society, my family, and friends. Every little thing stresses me out and every single day its something new. My wedding is this Saturday and I dont even want to go anymore. I want to go far, far away from here. I want to commit but I know both families will be left devastated and confused. I dont think I could do that to them, but I still dont want to go. I also dont know why I hope to gain from this, Im kind of just venting as I feel I have no one else to talk to.. Theres just something about typing something out and tapping post. Whoever and wherever you are, I hope youre doing well, and I thank you for taking the time to read my stupid post. | suicide |
Video games dont cause violence, they make memories... ...Today I went to my cousins house, a couple years ago when my I bought a Xbox one I decided since he didnt have a console Id give him my Xbox and some games. One of those games was Minecraft, my step father got it for me when I was about -ish and I fell in love with ever since I touched it. When I first got it My brother, my friend and I made a world. The worlds name being . This world was the only one we played on, its the only one we needed. We started off in a desert biome and started building a giant cobblestone tower. Sure it looked ugly but we didnt care, we had fun. Other neighbour hood kids would come over and join the world and make accounts on the and help build this tower. Other than Lego Starwars and Halo Reach Minecraft was the only game we played. We stopped playing on this world a couple years before I gave away the Xbox . So today when I went to my cousins house I saw that Xbox I gave him in his closet, I asked if I could boot it up and check something. He let me. I proceeded to dig through a pile of discs until I found Minecraft. I signed into my old account and there it was untouched since I dont even know when. I walked up and down the stairs of that cobblestone house and saw all our old rooms. I just started to cry, I guess I was a bit nostalgic. This world was a relic, a museum of memories that me and people I havent talked to since elementary school made. Its just crazy, things are moving so fast. Im now a grade student who doesnt know what the fuck he wants to do with his life. Its crazy to think this summer will be my last one in school. I dont know what Im getting at here, Im just scared of the future I guess and this is something thatll be with me and Ill hold on to forever. TL;DR : me and some old friends used to have a Minecraft world, I hadnt touched it since we quit playing the game. My cousin now owns the old Xbox and he let me look at the world and I got emotional. | non-suicide |
The emotional pain I have to fight through everyday is inhumane and unfairIf you google what is the most painful mental illness? The answer is borderline personality disorder. I hurt so much, I have to try so hard to not keel over and bawl my eyes out. It feels like my eyes are constantly brimming with tears and my heart is being pummelled relentlessly. Ive already been through enough. I lost my best parent in late . My BPD symptoms resurfaced and here I am. Feeling rejected and hurt everyday because of a relationship that I cant accept will never be romantic. I attempted in the beginning of January. Im at high risk for completed suicide. My life is worthless, no achievements to my name. I also have a sibling that is the fucked up warden of my house, so my pets stay in our (large) basement. Too depressed to leave my bed because my life is too painful and worthless. I cant get anything right. I keep failing. I just want to go. Its cruel to force me to be alive. Just let me go. Im a failure in every area of my life and Im tired of the shame and the guilt. I want to be with my dad. | suicide |
Hello people sorting by new I have come to join you | non-suicide |
I have a massive fucking smile on my face rn I used to have a fish tank with a koi in until I built him a pond with my dad and I was told I could use the tank as an enclosure for a pet and I was talking to my best mate about me getting a hognose snake and it made her really happy when I asked her if she could name it | non-suicide |
low key thinking about getting my noise perced but feel that might just be a phase lmao like i think itd be cool and really awesome and i can do it myself most likly my freind did but id get BEAT lmao | non-suicide |
Gn friends Sleep well | non-suicide |
Moving away for university and dont think Im going to cope Sorry if this is the wrong place Im moving and a half hours away to a completely new city where I dont know anyone at all in weeks. On top of this Im expected to manage a university degree having done nothing but be in an anxious depressed coronavirus slump for the past months. My teachers predicted me shit grades (coronavirus means they just decided them for me) which were well below what I could have achieved so now Im going to a university I didnt really want to go to stuck in bad accommodation because I joined late. Ive spoken to my flat mates and they seem nice enough but I was badly bullied in my first years of secondary school and it took me forever to find the amazing friends I have now that Im going to be ripped away from forever. Im so scared I wont make friends and Ill get bullied or isolated again in some form. I have random panic attacks daily and extreme depersonalisation and stress problems. Ive been taking medication for months and nothing has changed. I literally just got accepted into therapy after a month waiting list and now I only get two sessions before I move away. The only reason Im going is because its what my parents always wanted from me and I have no idea what Id do with my life instead. Im too stressed to get a job and cant rely on my parents anymore now Im an adult. I really dont think Im going to make it past the first week let alone years Im going to miss my family and friends and everything that makes me feel vaguely normal so much. Honestly fuck this I just want to pause time forever or just end it all now so I dont have to deal with the stress of all of this. | non-suicide |
What to do when the anger grows?I have collected so much anger and frustration i can literally feel it tearing my chest apart. I can't even sit still when those waves of fear roll over me of dying alone. Never feel what it'slike been takingcare of. A kiss, a good morning. I'm not a bad person and I've never hurt anyone. I want to make people laught. I don't know what to do or what is happening:( | suicide |
Life is Ilussion and lost hope.Power feeds the soul. But not all of us have it within our reach. Desolation. Loneliness. powerlessness. Lacking. Dissociation. Dissatisfaction. All that posseses your body at times might feel all bad. Only darkness. Only void. Then there are those of us who have fallen even deeper into the pit. Our bodies husked with horns of death, rejection, abuse, lies, and hate. There is no "sometimes." The will breakers are with you always. "Why can't I make someone care?" "Why does darkness chose me?" "Am I just not worth anything?" Life is here to bring us pain. And it has made that very clear. Hope is a distant dream locked behind doors to which there is no key. No amount of sacrifice. No amount of mourning. No amount of forgiveness nor predisposition for suffering will help you find it. The will broken's resolve is thin. But so is the foundation of this reality. That is why so many of us with to escape it, and why others stand at laugh at your pain. Destiny has not favored you. Nor have the ones you loved most. The pangs of reality crush your heart, mind, and would one by one. A future would be a luxury. So would a spec of hope. No more suffering, there would be. No more lies. No more hate. No more disappointment. No more tears. No more punishment. No more void. Noore laughing at my pain. No more frowning upon me. Death is fresh, death is pure. Death greets and never abandons. Death doesn't lie, and it doesn't feel. Life steals, cheats, lies, corrupts, and tortures. More pain is more life. Less life is more peace. | suicide |
I'm gonna say something so controversial... ^(I'm probably gonna get killed for this, but...) cats > dogs | non-suicide |
What do you do with one word replies? I think its a sign to dead the conversation there and then. No point chasing because theyre clearly not interested. But thats just me. What about you guys? | non-suicide |
all you fucking do is say you love me and like thats cool but maybe show it with your actions i dont want to feel like an afterthought anymore filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler | non-suicide |
You realize it when you stop days ago I was in the lowest place of my life, I had a porn addiction without realizing it. I hadn't felt anything towards anybody in my life and I couldnt gave a shit to anyone, that day I also decided to stop watching porn. days have passed and I just realized how addicted I was, I have never felt this depressed in my whole life. I know im probably overreacting but I couldnt keep it in my head so I had to at least write it somewhere... | non-suicide |
Yeah sex is cool That's it. Filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler. I wouldn't know though. | non-suicide |
How do I use schoology ima cry Help me HELP ME. I have an assignment due tomorrow but my god i can't use the platform for my lifeeeeee | non-suicide |
People suck.I wish you could just be like Im thinking about killing myself. Like I dont think Im going to but Im thinking about it. just thought someone should know Im not sure why though. I am in so much pain without people wanted to know why or people being like you cant what about me? I just fucking sucks. | suicide |
I wish someone beat me to deathmy existence in this world is so miserable, i just cant make a bond with anyone, nobody enjoys my presence or my care. it fucking hurts when everyone around you is having a great time with their significant others and you're just there, sitting alone because not only you look like a battle scarred goblin, but your personality and social skills are the one of a rock and you're incapable of getting your miserable ass to anything good. It hurts even more when you're young but you still feel like you have lost it already i don't learn. I can't seem to accept the way I look and behave. I wish someone just fucking kicked my brains out | suicide |
I made a video game today It's just a copy of angry birds and I followed a tutorial, but it's still pretty cool | non-suicide |
This is very epic So today in health we were all talking in the back of the classroom and my crush pulled up snap and said and showed me half way across the room: You look cute (My name). Her friend then said the same thing basically but I just brushed it off because I had never been complimented by a girl in my school. And the first one to FRICKIN DO IT WAS MY CRUSH!!!!!!!!! I just realized how awesome this was!!!!!!!! | non-suicide |
can somebody help me with the prompt for this assignment u dont need to to know anything about the document tbh i just wanna know if my understanding of what it's asking is correct so i know if im on topic "In his protest against the British trade in opium, Lin Zexu implicitly levies a critique of the liberal doctrine of 'free trade.' Choose at least two quotes from this document and describe Lin's critique of the British." so basically it's just askin me to analyze two quotes ? or is it asking me to analyze the two quotes in relation to britain and free trade. please help | non-suicide |
Gonna have to stretch my arms for this but.... *hugs everyone* | non-suicide |
Hi how are ya doing? Hopefully you have a great weekend. | non-suicide |
Considering it again.The truth is I usually come here and read other people's posts about there lives and how my problems are not as severe. But in fact they are. I just don't feel happy with my life, my ex girlfriend who I am very much in love with won't try and work things out with me. It's like torture for me because I still love her and I love her more than I do myself. I got kicked out of my mums house in may weeks before my A level exams. Which had a knock on effect to them. I hate it, I feel so unloved and that nobody cares I wish I could just disappear, rather than having to actually die. My mother has picked her boyfriend over me and I can't move back into my home because if I do so he will move out. I don't want to upset my mother but its upsetting me that she would choose him over her only son. At this point I just feel unwanted by my family. I feel like nobody cares anymore and it's so difficult to try and stay happy I don't think about suicide often but I often think that I won't have more than I year left on this planet. I can't tell my friends because they would think I'm weak or something. I wish I had enough money to just get up and leave and never come back. But I dont have a job so I have no funds to do so I don't feel like I've acomplished anything in my life, I often feel lonley because my friends rarely ask me to go out or do anything and when I ask them it's always the same answers. I think to my self that someone has to be lonley so why not me? Atleast that way someone else isn't and they are happy? Maybe that's a bit strange but it's the way I think of things. | suicide |
cave man rp starts now ooo grug make fire | non-suicide |
Testing [removed] [View Poll]( | non-suicide |
I've been thinking lately that I want to kill myself.I woke up last night and couldn't get back to sleep for a couple hours. All I could think was how much I didn't want to be here. I feel like the only reason I'm living is because of the few people that would be sad if I died. My family and my boyfriend. I know it's really fucked up of me to be complaining about how much I hate life when there are people who care about me. Honestly though, my boyfriend is only into me because he's also suicidal and I'm emotional support for him. He doesn't know I've been like this. And my family are just good people so they naturally care about me. They're the main reason I haven't gone through with it. Just because I feel like I'd be selfish to them if I did. There was a girl, who was a friend of a girl I go to school with, who killed herself earlier this month. I've been creeping on this girl's Facebook. And this girl was crazy popular. She was a humanitarian who was involved in a bunch of charities and she was super involved in her school. She was athletic and really pretty. She just seemed like she would probably had the kind of life I would want. But even she had her own demons. It made me think. I always think that the reason I'm depressed is because I feel like most people don't pay much attention to me. I've always tried to be outgoing and talkative. But for some reason I don't have friends. I don't know what I am doing wrong. But I just feel unimportant. I feel like I'm always left out. But I think even if I did have these things, I'd still be depressed. There's just something in my brain that is fucked up. I wish my boyfriend wasn't suicidal. I mean mostly cause I love him and don't want him to feel that way. But then I wouldn't feel guilty about breaking up with him so he can move on from me. Then one day I would just run away. Or do something horrible to make my family hate me. And then I could just do it. I could just end it all and be done with this world. | suicide |
As lame as it is, the only thing keeping me from killing myself is the fact that Brockhampton is releasing Saturation III sometime this year.For the past few months, I have felt completely hopeless and have basically given up. I'm failing several classes at college and I'm staying in the loft of my mom's disgusting, filthy house because I am completely broke. I have zero friends due to my autism, and I push away everyone who tries to enter my life. I feel like there's no reason to continue living. I hate being alive and I don't see an end to it. I've tried receiving help and I've tried medication and I've tried improving my life but nothing has worked. The only positive thing in my life is the fact that Brockhampton has released two of the most incredible hip-hop albums I've ever heard in the span of two and a half months, and they're currently working on the third in this trilogy. Their work ethic is absolutely insane, and they are so musically gifted. These albums have been keeping me going and delaying my suicide, and I'm ashamed to say that I'm only alive for Brockhampton. I don't want to kill myself until I've heard the completed trilogy in its entirety. Once Saturation III drops, I will likely end my life. | suicide |
i want to give up so badlychrist, covid has certainly made my life difficult with school. i am a pretty good student under normal, regular terms as i get good grades and do somewhat well. but something about working from home has absolutely destroyed everything in me. i cant focus and the voice inside me telling im not good enough is just so loud and i feel absolutely zero motivation to keep going. i am beyond behind and everyone has given me shallow advice that does absolutely nothing to encourage me, and my parents as well have started to threaten me if i dont get this done, even if they say im doing fine. i get so many mixed signals. i just am so overwhelmed and along and ive tried to reach out and nothing. i dont have a plan exactly but i have an idea and i think i might just od when my parents go to sleep. i dont know if i will because i have absolutely no guts and will probably just cry all night because ill have to wake up to another day of this bullshit. | suicide |
Just made a song that might be hip with the kids. It'd be pretty POG if you checked it out. I'm not years old. Quit assuming things. Fuck you bro. | non-suicide |
Everyone keeps attacking me for something I didn't doAs the title says, I've been getting harassed for something that I didn't do. Someone who's mad at me, an ex friend, started saying that I called my ex a slut and bragged about how I was gonna sleep with her. This wasn't true, I didn't even sleep with her at all. Of course, she believed him and now she's pissed at me. She told all her friends that this happened too, and now I'm getting messages and threats about it. I still really care about this girl, and I'd still literally die for her. She doesn't realize that she's really hurting me. She's blocked me on everything, her friends won't listen. I'm starting to think that a well written suicide note will leave a message. I haven't felt this bad in years, I want it all to be over. Nobody will listen to me. | suicide |
i am going to describe myself and judge you by your comments my name is \[REDACTED\], but just call me DoorAMii I am a year old girl I like Eddsworld, Danganronpa, Ojamajo Doremi, Mixels, and The Lego Movie. of course, I like playing with legos and playing videogames I have a steam account. I have minecraft accounts I am subscribed to such youtube channels as TimTamTom, Chris Cross, Iilluminaughtii, Schaffrilas Productions, The Living Tombstone, Vivziepop, Eddsworld, and Rebeltaxi I play roblox, I have premium I simp for fictional characters here is a picture of my face | non-suicide |
I don't think any of us actually wanna stop living but just wanna go back to a time where we didn't wanna die..Being in such a fragile state for so long can lead us to believe some things our conscious know isn't true.. | suicide |
My existence in this earth wont last that much longer and Im very happy.My brother secretly got a gun. Without my parents knowing. He told me because he tells me everything he does that my parents shouldnt know. I know where he puts it and I have access to die a quick and easy death. | suicide |
Mom saw me take a thing pic and now I'm in trouble wtf I was showing my boyfriend my new thigh highs when she had me delete it and took away my phone for the rest of the day like BRUH | non-suicide |
Help? I don't know how to continueI don't know I have some time thinking about it, I'm searching for help, my life is getting worse. only one thing, lie... two things keep me alive. the first one? I have fear of doing it. the other one? single life project that I'm going to fail really soon. pls | suicide |
I can't handle any kind of stressThe title sums it up really. Anything bad that happens, irrespective of magnitude or impact, really throws me into a downward spiral of anxiety and depression. I don't even want that bad thing to get better at this point cause I know I'm going to get back here when something else goes wrong in my life. And I keep fucking up so that's not too far away. I have people who love me and that's guilting me into not doing it. I just don't know if it's worth my sanity anymore. There are kids who die of cancer man. They'd give anything to not die. And on the other hand there's me.. I have everything but not the will to live. I'm such an ungrateful pos. I'm sorry for the poorly formatted rant. Just needed to say this to somebody. | suicide |
I cant let myself suffer this much anymoreAt this point , I want to kill myself out of mercy, kinda like euthanasia. Its not even motivated by self hatred or whatever which makes it even more final for me. This is a means of emotions that will pass, this is a means of the reality that I have suffered way too much , more than I was ever meant to and that I simply cannot let myself continue to suffer this badly, it is I humane and I dare to say almost evil to witness myself suffer this much and to not off myself out of mercy. Its like watching someone die and slow and torturous death, just kill the poor guy so he wont have to endure more pain than he already has. | suicide |
disneyland really said lets stuff a hotdog inside of a pickle, deep fry it, and then serve it with a side of peanut butter like wtf | non-suicide |