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How to Be a Good Boss
|
1. Have an open door policy.
Make yourself available to your employees.
Open door doesn’t mean that your office door is literally always open. Rather, it means that your employees can come to you with any issues or suggestions that they have, and you will be receptive.
If you’re very busy, you can specify times when your employees can filter in or out of your office, or you can make rounds to visit your employees in their workspace.
Actively listen to your employees to make sure they feel like they're being heard.
Give serious consideration to employees' suggestions about how to improve productivity—after all, they're the ones on the ground each day!
2. Respect and value your employees.
Let them know you see their hard work.
Every employee in your organization contributes to making your business a success. If you acknowledge their contributions, they'll feel appreciated, and they'll be more likely to keep doing good work in the future.
Say, “I don’t say it often enough, but we couldn’t keep this place running without your hardwork. Thanks for all you do.”
3. Create a positive atmosphere in the workplace.
This can help motivate your staff to do their best work.
Make your office a pleasant place to work by providing good lighting, encouraging a friendly attitude, and allowing employees to bring in a personal touch, such as family photos or a fun poster. Provide your employees with rewards and incentives for good work, such as a pizza party or a monthly certificate.
Set up a bulletin board to post about employee’s achievements. You can also create a section for photos of employees and company events.
Try instituting a casual Friday.
Make a point to celebrate holidays and birthdays.
4. Stay involved in the day-to-day activities of the office.
Work alongside your employees regularly.
It’s easy for a boss to become out of touch with the job tasks of lower level employees. This can create resentment from employees whose jobs you don’t understand, and it prevents you from spotting areas that could benefit from change. Instead, spend some time each week helping your employees with their regular tasks so you'll always know what's going on.
Sit in on a planning meeting.
Join the sales team on the floor.
Spend a few minutes sorting mail in the mailroom.
5. Assign tasks that help your employees stretch and grow.
Challenge your employees by giving them new assignments.
Trust them to get the job done right, even if it's outside of their normal workload. For example, allow junior employees to work on committees alongside senior employees.
If you don’t allow your staff to grow, they may seek other opportunities.
Letting employees try new things can lead to innovation. You can also use it as a strategy to increase the number of people on your staff who are able to complete certain tasks.
Try to support the career goals of your employees when you can. For instance, if you know an employee is interested in leading a team one day, you might assign them the lead role on a project.
6. Help your employees when they’re struggling with a task.
Create a collaborative, supportive culture.
It’s normal for people to hit roadblocks, especially if you’re assigning tasks that stretch your employees. If an employee seems to have hit a barrier that they can’t cross, work with them to get the job done.
Don’t take over for your employee. Instead, provide them with assistance, whether it’s from you or another employee who can mentor them.
7. Provide your employees with the training they need.
Offer training sessions, guest speakers, or training videos.
Provide ongoing training for current employees in addition to the training you give to new hires. If you have the resources, you could even send your employees to a conference or seminar.
Monitor your employees to see if they are struggling to meet their work demands, especially if you work in a rapidly changing industry.
8. Delegate responsibility to avoid micromanaging.
Assign someone to a job and then let them handle it.
Delegating helps you get more work done and creates a well-trained workforce. Once a task has been assigned, trust that employee to complete it without you hovering over them.
For example, allow problems to work their way up a hierarchical chain before they reach you. This will empower your employees to make more of the day-to-day decisions.
Stepping in to help an employee who truly needs direction is not the same as micromanaging.
9. Provide your employees with regular feedback.
Good bosses keep their employees well-informed.
Employees need to know if you’re happy with their work performance, so tell your employees how they’re doing. You don’t have to have formal evaluations. Instead, incorporate feedback into your workplace operations.
Give positive feedback during meetings, right after an employee gives a presentation, or while you walk around the office.
Meet with employees for a few minutes each week to discuss their projects.
If an employee is expecting feedback on a project, get back with them ASAP so they don't feel frustrated or anxious.
10. Give your constructive criticism in private.
Don’t criticize or chastise your employees in front of others.
While you may think that it creates teaching opportunities, it actually inspires negativity and stress in your employees, who will fear being embarrassed by you in the future. Instead, meet with employees in private.
Try to give positive praise at least as often as you offer criticism.
11. Reply thoughtfully to emails.
Short emails can seem curt.
Read all of your emails, and send a timely acknowledgment of receipt. Avoid sending dismissive notes like “Thanks” or “Got it.” Instead, acknowledge what was said.
Say, “Thanks for letting me know that the deadline has shifted. I appreciate your hard work.”
12. Ask for help when you need it.
Even bosses need assistance sometimes.
Your employees will recognize it as a sign of strength because your aren’t afraid of admitting that you don’t know everything.
Say, “I’m mulling over how to approach this merger decision, and I’m open to your suggestions. If you’d like to talk about your ideas or concerns, drop by my office between 2:00 and 5:00 p.m. today.”
13. Be open to criticism.
Use it as an opportunity to grow.
Don’t be defensive when your employees criticize your decisions or performance. Instead, consider their comments and decide if they make sense. If they do, consider it an opportunity for growth.
Don’t punish people for giving you negative feedback.
No one is perfect, not even you. It’s normal to make mistakes.
If you do make a mistake, admit the error and apologize for it.
14. Give credit to your team for their hard work.
Acknowledge them instead of taking the credit.
Consider the organization’s accomplishments to be a group effort. Bad bosses often hog the credit, but good bosses spread it around.
Acknowledge the contributions of others.
Congratulate your employees for a job well done.
When people give you praise, mention the employees who helped you make the accomplishment happen.
15. Treat your employees equally.
Some employees may be better performers than others.
Perhaps some even remind you of yourself. Keep these opinions to yourself. Showing favoritism is damaging to the workforce. It can discourage workers who don’t feel favored, and it can cause stagnation in favored employees.
If you find yourself focusing your attention on a fraction of your employees, make a point to shift your attention to include others.
If you go out to lunch or happy hour with employees, make sure everyone is invited.
16. Maintain some distance from your employees.
Engage with them, but keep it professional.
When you’re the boss, you have to separate yourself from your employees. While you can still grab lunch or join them for the occasional happy hour, you need to behave professionally the entire time. If employees see you as a peer, you will lose your authority.
Maintain strong boundaries around your personal life. Don’t overshare personal details, such as what you did over the weekend or the issues you’re having with a relative.
Keep your conversations centered on the workplace or your professional experiences.
Also, avoid engaging in office gossip. Spreading gossip will destroy your credibility as a boss immediately.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Have an open door policy.\\nMake yourself available to your employees.\\nOpen door doesn’t mean that your office door is literally always open. Rather, it means that your employees can come to you with any issues or suggestions that they have, and you will be receptive.\\nIf you’re very busy, you can specify times when your employees can filter in or out of your office, or you can make rounds to visit your employees in their workspace.\\nActively listen to your employees to make sure they feel like they're being heard.\\nGive serious consideration to employees' suggestions about how to improve productivity—after all, they're the ones on the ground each day!\\n2. Respect and value your employees.\\nLet them know you see their hard work.\\nEvery employee in your organization contributes to making your business a success. If you acknowledge their contributions, they'll feel appreciated, and they'll be more likely to keep doing good work in the future.\\nSay, “I don’t say it often enough, but we couldn’t keep this place running without your hardwork. Thanks for all you do.”\\n3. Create a positive atmosphere in the workplace.\\nThis can help motivate your staff to do their best work.\\nMake your office a pleasant place to work by providing good lighting, encouraging a friendly attitude, and allowing employees to bring in a personal touch, such as family photos or a fun poster. Provide your employees with rewards and incentives for good work, such as a pizza party or a monthly certificate.\\nSet up a bulletin board to post about employee’s achievements. You can also create a section for photos of employees and company events.\\nTry instituting a casual Friday.\\nMake a point to celebrate holidays and birthdays.\\n4. Stay involved in the day-to-day activities of the office.\\nWork alongside your employees regularly.\\nIt’s easy for a boss to become out of touch with the job tasks of lower level employees. This can create resentment from employees whose jobs you don’t understand, and it prevents you from spotting areas that could benefit from change. Instead, spend some time each week helping your employees with their regular tasks so you'll always know what's going on.\\nSit in on a planning meeting.\\nJoin the sales team on the floor.\\nSpend a few minutes sorting mail in the mailroom.\\n5. Assign tasks that help your employees stretch and grow.\\nChallenge your employees by giving them new assignments.\\nTrust them to get the job done right, even if it's outside of their normal workload. For example, allow junior employees to work on committees alongside senior employees.\\nIf you don’t allow your staff to grow, they may seek other opportunities.\\nLetting employees try new things can lead to innovation. You can also use it as a strategy to increase the number of people on your staff who are able to complete certain tasks.\\nTry to support the career goals of your employees when you can. For instance, if you know an employee is interested in leading a team one day, you might assign them the lead role on a project.\\n6. Help your employees when they’re struggling with a task.\\nCreate a collaborative, supportive culture.\\nIt’s normal for people to hit roadblocks, especially if you’re assigning tasks that stretch your employees. If an employee seems to have hit a barrier that they can’t cross, work with them to get the job done.\\nDon’t take over for your employee. Instead, provide them with assistance, whether it’s from you or another employee who can mentor them.\\n7. Provide your employees with the training they need.\\nOffer training sessions, guest speakers, or training videos.\\nProvide ongoing training for current employees in addition to the training you give to new hires. If you have the resources, you could even send your employees to a conference or seminar.\\nMonitor your employees to see if they are struggling to meet their work demands, especially if you work in a rapidly changing industry.\\n8. Delegate responsibility to avoid micromanaging.\\nAssign someone to a job and then let them handle it.\\nDelegating helps you get more work done and creates a well-trained workforce. Once a task has been assigned, trust that employee to complete it without you hovering over them.\\nFor example, allow problems to work their way up a hierarchical chain before they reach you. This will empower your employees to make more of the day-to-day decisions.\\nStepping in to help an employee who truly needs direction is not the same as micromanaging.\\n9. Provide your employees with regular feedback.\\nGood bosses keep their employees well-informed.\\nEmployees need to know if you’re happy with their work performance, so tell your employees how they’re doing. You don’t have to have formal evaluations. Instead, incorporate feedback into your workplace operations.\\nGive positive feedback during meetings, right after an employee gives a presentation, or while you walk around the office.\\nMeet with employees for a few minutes each week to discuss their projects.\\nIf an employee is expecting feedback on a project, get back with them ASAP so they don't feel frustrated or anxious.\\n10. Give your constructive criticism in private.\\nDon’t criticize or chastise your employees in front of others.\\nWhile you may think that it creates teaching opportunities, it actually inspires negativity and stress in your employees, who will fear being embarrassed by you in the future. Instead, meet with employees in private.\\nTry to give positive praise at least as often as you offer criticism.\\n11. Reply thoughtfully to emails.\\nShort emails can seem curt.\\nRead all of your emails, and send a timely acknowledgment of receipt. Avoid sending dismissive notes like “Thanks” or “Got it.” Instead, acknowledge what was said.\\nSay, “Thanks for letting me know that the deadline has shifted. I appreciate your hard work.”\\n12. Ask for help when you need it.\\nEven bosses need assistance sometimes.\\nYour employees will recognize it as a sign of strength because your aren’t afraid of admitting that you don’t know everything.\\nSay, “I’m mulling over how to approach this merger decision, and I’m open to your suggestions. If you’d like to talk about your ideas or concerns, drop by my office between 2:00 and 5:00 p.m. today.”\\n13. Be open to criticism.\\nUse it as an opportunity to grow.\\nDon’t be defensive when your employees criticize your decisions or performance. Instead, consider their comments and decide if they make sense. If they do, consider it an opportunity for growth.\\nDon’t punish people for giving you negative feedback.\\nNo one is perfect, not even you. It’s normal to make mistakes.\\nIf you do make a mistake, admit the error and apologize for it.\\n14. Give credit to your team for their hard work.\\nAcknowledge them instead of taking the credit.\\nConsider the organization’s accomplishments to be a group effort. Bad bosses often hog the credit, but good bosses spread it around.\\nAcknowledge the contributions of others.\\nCongratulate your employees for a job well done.\\nWhen people give you praise, mention the employees who helped you make the accomplishment happen.\\n15. Treat your employees equally.\\nSome employees may be better performers than others.\\nPerhaps some even remind you of yourself. Keep these opinions to yourself. Showing favoritism is damaging to the workforce. It can discourage workers who don’t feel favored, and it can cause stagnation in favored employees.\\nIf you find yourself focusing your attention on a fraction of your employees, make a point to shift your attention to include others.\\nIf you go out to lunch or happy hour with employees, make sure everyone is invited.\\n16. Maintain some distance from your employees.\\nEngage with them, but keep it professional.\\nWhen you’re the boss, you have to separate yourself from your employees. While you can still grab lunch or join them for the occasional happy hour, you need to behave professionally the entire time. If employees see you as a peer, you will lose your authority.\\nMaintain strong boundaries around your personal life. Don’t overshare personal details, such as what you did over the weekend or the issues you’re having with a relative.\\nKeep your conversations centered on the workplace or your professional experiences.\\nAlso, avoid engaging in office gossip. Spreading gossip will destroy your credibility as a boss immediately.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re the boss, you want to do your best to effectively run your organization. But how do you motivate the people who are working for you while still seeming approachable? Whether you’re new to the job or just want to improve your performance, we can help you develop the qualities you need to be a great boss!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have an open door policy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make yourself available to your employees.\", \"描述\": \"Open door doesn’t mean that your office door is literally always open. Rather, it means that your employees can come to you with any issues or suggestions that they have, and you will be receptive.\\nIf you’re very busy, you can specify times when your employees can filter in or out of your office, or you can make rounds to visit your employees in their workspace.\\nActively listen to your employees to make sure they feel like they're being heard.\\nGive serious consideration to employees' suggestions about how to improve productivity—after all, they're the ones on the ground each day!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respect and value your employees.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them know you see their hard work.\", \"描述\": \"Every employee in your organization contributes to making your business a success. If you acknowledge their contributions, they'll feel appreciated, and they'll be more likely to keep doing good work in the future.\\nSay, “I don’t say it often enough, but we couldn’t keep this place running without your hardwork. Thanks for all you do.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a positive atmosphere in the workplace.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This can help motivate your staff to do their best work.\", \"描述\": \"Make your office a pleasant place to work by providing good lighting, encouraging a friendly attitude, and allowing employees to bring in a personal touch, such as family photos or a fun poster. Provide your employees with rewards and incentives for good work, such as a pizza party or a monthly certificate.\\nSet up a bulletin board to post about employee’s achievements. You can also create a section for photos of employees and company events.\\nTry instituting a casual Friday.\\nMake a point to celebrate holidays and birthdays.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay involved in the day-to-day activities of the office.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work alongside your employees regularly.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easy for a boss to become out of touch with the job tasks of lower level employees. This can create resentment from employees whose jobs you don’t understand, and it prevents you from spotting areas that could benefit from change. Instead, spend some time each week helping your employees with their regular tasks so you'll always know what's going on.\\nSit in on a planning meeting.\\nJoin the sales team on the floor.\\nSpend a few minutes sorting mail in the mailroom.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Assign tasks that help your employees stretch and grow.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Challenge your employees by giving them new assignments.\", \"描述\": \"Trust them to get the job done right, even if it's outside of their normal workload. For example, allow junior employees to work on committees alongside senior employees.\\nIf you don’t allow your staff to grow, they may seek other opportunities.\\nLetting employees try new things can lead to innovation. You can also use it as a strategy to increase the number of people on your staff who are able to complete certain tasks.\\nTry to support the career goals of your employees when you can. For instance, if you know an employee is interested in leading a team one day, you might assign them the lead role on a project.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Help your employees when they’re struggling with a task.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a collaborative, supportive culture.\", \"描述\": \"It’s normal for people to hit roadblocks, especially if you’re assigning tasks that stretch your employees. If an employee seems to have hit a barrier that they can’t cross, work with them to get the job done.\\nDon’t take over for your employee. Instead, provide them with assistance, whether it’s from you or another employee who can mentor them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Provide your employees with the training they need.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer training sessions, guest speakers, or training videos.\", \"描述\": \"Provide ongoing training for current employees in addition to the training you give to new hires. If you have the resources, you could even send your employees to a conference or seminar.\\nMonitor your employees to see if they are struggling to meet their work demands, especially if you work in a rapidly changing industry.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Delegate responsibility to avoid micromanaging.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assign someone to a job and then let them handle it.\", \"描述\": \"Delegating helps you get more work done and creates a well-trained workforce. Once a task has been assigned, trust that employee to complete it without you hovering over them.\\nFor example, allow problems to work their way up a hierarchical chain before they reach you. This will empower your employees to make more of the day-to-day decisions.\\nStepping in to help an employee who truly needs direction is not the same as micromanaging.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Provide your employees with regular feedback.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Good bosses keep their employees well-informed.\", \"描述\": \"Employees need to know if you’re happy with their work performance, so tell your employees how they’re doing. You don’t have to have formal evaluations. Instead, incorporate feedback into your workplace operations.\\nGive positive feedback during meetings, right after an employee gives a presentation, or while you walk around the office.\\nMeet with employees for a few minutes each week to discuss their projects.\\nIf an employee is expecting feedback on a project, get back with them ASAP so they don't feel frustrated or anxious.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Give your constructive criticism in private.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t criticize or chastise your employees in front of others.\", \"描述\": \"While you may think that it creates teaching opportunities, it actually inspires negativity and stress in your employees, who will fear being embarrassed by you in the future. Instead, meet with employees in private.\\nTry to give positive praise at least as often as you offer criticism.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Reply thoughtfully to emails.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Short emails can seem curt.\", \"描述\": \"Read all of your emails, and send a timely acknowledgment of receipt. Avoid sending dismissive notes like “Thanks” or “Got it.” Instead, acknowledge what was said.\\nSay, “Thanks for letting me know that the deadline has shifted. I appreciate your hard work.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Ask for help when you need it.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Even bosses need assistance sometimes.\", \"描述\": \"Your employees will recognize it as a sign of strength because your aren’t afraid of admitting that you don’t know everything.\\nSay, “I’m mulling over how to approach this merger decision, and I’m open to your suggestions. If you’d like to talk about your ideas or concerns, drop by my office between 2:00 and 5:00 p.m. today.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Be open to criticism.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use it as an opportunity to grow.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t be defensive when your employees criticize your decisions or performance. Instead, consider their comments and decide if they make sense. If they do, consider it an opportunity for growth.\\nDon’t punish people for giving you negative feedback.\\nNo one is perfect, not even you. It’s normal to make mistakes.\\nIf you do make a mistake, admit the error and apologize for it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Give credit to your team for their hard work.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge them instead of taking the credit.\", \"描述\": \"Consider the organization’s accomplishments to be a group effort. Bad bosses often hog the credit, but good bosses spread it around.\\nAcknowledge the contributions of others.\\nCongratulate your employees for a job well done.\\nWhen people give you praise, mention the employees who helped you make the accomplishment happen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Treat your employees equally.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Some employees may be better performers than others.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps some even remind you of yourself. Keep these opinions to yourself. Showing favoritism is damaging to the workforce. It can discourage workers who don’t feel favored, and it can cause stagnation in favored employees.\\nIf you find yourself focusing your attention on a fraction of your employees, make a point to shift your attention to include others.\\nIf you go out to lunch or happy hour with employees, make sure everyone is invited.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Maintain some distance from your employees.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Engage with them, but keep it professional.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re the boss, you have to separate yourself from your employees. While you can still grab lunch or join them for the occasional happy hour, you need to behave professionally the entire time. If employees see you as a peer, you will lose your authority.\\nMaintain strong boundaries around your personal life. Don’t overshare personal details, such as what you did over the weekend or the issues you’re having with a relative.\\nKeep your conversations centered on the workplace or your professional experiences.\\nAlso, avoid engaging in office gossip. Spreading gossip will destroy your credibility as a boss immediately.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
|
4,416 |
How to Be a Good Boxer
|
1. Practicing Your Punches
1-1. Join boxing classes.
Taking boxing classes can help you improve your technique by receiving expert instruction. Check online, your local newspaper, and local gyms to find classes. You can train on your own, but you will become a better boxer if you are being formally trained. Formal training will also help you meet other boxers that you can train with.
Do your research on the schools that are out there, and see if you can take a class at each facility you're interested in. Then you can determine whether the instructor, atmosphere, and structure are right for you and your own way of doing things.
For instance, some people prefer to train in a way where they want to get into a ring, and there are schools for those trying to be professional fighters. Other schools are more focused on winning tournaments.
1-2. Practice on a punching bag.
A heavy punching bag can be used to practice all of your punches. Exhale as you throw each punch and tighten your body and fist as you throw the punch. Always return to your fighting stance after each punch. Always protect yourself with your non-punching hand.
If you are not a member of a boxing gym, you can purchase a punching bag online or at a sporting goods store.
1-3. Hit the speed bag.
A speed bag will help you with rhythm, timing, hand-eye coordination, and endurance. The speed bag will go back and forth 3 times for every one time you hit it. Hit the bag with your right hand twice and then hit the bag with your left hand twice. Use the front of your fist for your first hit and the bottom of your fist for your second hit.
Stand directly in front of the bag; not in your boxer's stance. You should also be eye level with the bag.
Start by practicing a single punch. Complete 3 sets of 10 punches.
1-4. Get in boxing stance.
In the orthodox boxing stance, your left foot is in the lead. Keep your chin down with your rear hand (usually your right hand) guarding your chin. Your lead hand should be about 6 to 8 inches from your chin, and your elbows should be tucked in. Stand slightly sideways so your entire chest is not facing your opponent. Your knees should be slightly bent, and your feet should be a little wider than shoulder width.
If you are left handed, you will lead with your right food instead. Your rear hand will be your left hand, and your lead hand will be your right hand. This is called the southpaw stance.
1-5. Throw a jab.
A jab is the most important punch. It help keep your opponent away from you and sets up your other punches. A jab is a quick punch that you throw with your lead hand. Keep your chin down and protect your chin with your rear hand as you punch. Extend your arm fully and quickly and then bring your arm back to the original stance position.
You should never lean in or lunge to jab your opponent. If you feel the need to do this, you are not in a good position to throw a jab.
1-6. Throw a cross.
A cross is a punch thrown with your rear hand and is more powerful than a jab. Guard your chin with your lead hand and then fully extend your rear hand. As you throw your cross, pivot your rear foot so that your heel is up and your toes are still on the ground. Rotate your body counter clockwise as you extend your arm and lean forward just a little bit. Rotate your fist as you punch so that the palm of your hand is facing the floor.
Bring your hand back to protect your chin after you throw the punch.
Remember to keep your knees bent so you do not lose your balance.
1-7. Throw a hook.
A hook is a punch that is used to punch your opponent in the side. You can use your rear or lead hand to throw a hook. Bend your arm to a 90 degree angle and rotate your body in the direction that your punch is going. Pivot your foot as you throw the punch as well and bend your knees. Protect your chin with your opposite hand as you throw a hook.
If you throw with your lead hand, pivot your lead foot. If you throw with your rear hand, pivot your rear foot.
1-8. Throw an uppercut.
You will usually throw an uppercut if your opponent puts his or her head too low. This is a power punch that you throw from your waist. You can throw one with your lead or rear hand. To throw with your lead arm, dip your head to the outside of your lead foot, twist your hips, and rotate your body in an upward motion as you throw the punch. An uppercut with your rear hand usually follows a jab by your lead hand.
1-9. Throw an overhand punch.
Use your rear hand to throw an overhand punch. Arch your rear elbow to a 90-135 degree angle and lean to the outside of your lead foot. Bend your knees as you throw and aim for your opponent's head. Pivot your back foot as you throw this punch as well.
This punch takes a longer time to reach your opponent than the other punches. Do not wind up too much or your opponent will know what is coming.
1-10. Throw combinations.
Once you are able to do all five punches, practice throwing combinations. You should practice these punches until they become second nature to you. The more you practice them, the faster and more efficient you will become. You can also begin to string together multiple combinations. The basic combinations are:
The 1-2 (jab -right cross)
The 1-1-2 (jab-jab-cross)
The 1-2-3 (jab-cross-left hook)
The 1-2-3-2 (jab-cross-hook-cross)
The 1-2-5-2 (jab-cross-left uppercut-cross)
The 1-6-3-2 (jab-right uppercut-left hook-right hand)
2. Working on Your Defensive Skills
2-1. Practice getting hit.
Getting hit during a fight will take a lot of energy out of you and cause you to become fatigued. When you get tired, it will be harder to keep your hands up. To prepare your body for this, train with 3 or 5 pound weights around your arms and ankles.To prepare for body shots, have someone drop a medicine ball on your stomach while you are doing crunches. The ball should drop in between each repetition.
2-2. Move your head.
In addition to protecting your head with your fists, you must learn to move your head to avoid getting hit. A good way to move is to practice making letters with your head. Try the following letters:
"T" - move your head side-to-side and then duck down
"V" - move your head down and then slip
"C" - move your head backwards and then around
2-3. Spar with another boxer.
Sparring is a time for you to have a practice your skills and test your conditioning. Punching bags are fine, but they cannot prepare you to box with an opponent in the ring. Spar with people who are a different size than you and that have different abilities (e.g. faster, more advanced, better jab, slower than you, etc.) Remember that sparring is about practicing and getting better, not beating up your partner.
2-4. Interrupt your opponent's punches.
When your opponent throws a punch, your first instinct will be to protect yourself. However, you do not have to wait for your opponent to finish throwing punches before you start punching back. Counter your opponent's punches instead of focusing on blocking.
Always keep your eyes on your opponent as you take a punch and try not to lean back.
2-5. Shadow box to practice your skills.
Shadow boxing allows to you to visualize different opponents and scenarios. Practice throwing punches, moving your head, and moving your feet. Practice different combinations. Focus on your technique and quickness as you throw your punches as well.
Do not wear gloves or use weights when you shadow box.
It is helpful to shadow box in front of a mirror or in front of a trainer so that you can get feedback on your movements.
You can shadow box for an allotted time period. Try focusing on a specific skill (e.g. uppercut, pivoting your foot) during each round.
3. Conditioning Your Body
3-1. Jump rope to improve your footwork.
Jump roping develops your endurance, coordination, agility, quickness, and footwork. Use small wrist rotations instead of your entire arm to swing the rope around. Jump high enough so the rope slides right under your feet. You do not want to jump too high. Your landing is one of the most important parts of your jump roping. Stay on the balls of your feet and keep your knees slightly bent as you land.
Once you can have mastered basic jump roping, you can try more advanced techniques like jump roping side-to-side and crossing your arms.
Get a jump rope that is long enough for your body. You should be able to step in the middle of the rope and pull the handles to your shoulder.
Start by jumping rope for 20 seconds without tripping. Build up your endurance until you can jump rope for 1, 2, or 3 minutes (rounds) without stopping. Take a 30-60 second break between each round.
3-2. Jog
Jogging will build your endurance so that you can last through 12 rounds of boxing. Run at an easy pace where your heart rate does not go higher than 150 beats per minute. Try to run for at least 60 minutes, 5 times a week. If you are unable to run for 60 minutes without stopping, run for shorter periods of time and work your way up. If you have not been jogging regularly, work your way up to 5 times a week as well.
If you are a beginner, start with running for 10 or 20 minutes, 3 times a week.
You eventually want to build up to running for 2-3 hours, 5 times a week.
3-3. Be flexible to improve your performance.
Stretching before and after your workouts will improve flexibility, lower your risk of injuries, and increase your range of motion. Stretch all of the major muscle groups in your body (e.g. legs, arms, chest, shoulders, back, abdominal). Hold each stretch for 30 seconds. Try to stretch for at least 15 minutes every time you stretch.
Never stretch cold muscles. You can stretch after you warm up (e.g. jump rope or light jog) or after your workout.
Focus your stretching on areas that you use the most when you are boxing. These include your chest, hip flexors, calves, biceps, and abdominals.
3-4. Lift weights to increase strength.
Weight lifting can improve your power and speed. Olympic style weightlifting is particularly helpful in your boxing training. Back squats, clean and jerks, dead lifts, and snatches are all great exercises. Lifting should not be done on the same days that you are doing your boxing training. For example, if you are in the boxing ring Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, then you would lift weights on Tuesday and Thursday.
If you do not want to do Olympic style weightlifting, you can do more traditional exercises. Do exercises for your hips and legs (e.g. lunges, squats, mountain climbers), core (e.g. planks, back extension, etc.), and upper body (e.g. pull ups, push ups, chest press, shoulder press, etc.)
Avoid strength training the week before your boxing match.
3-5. Do interval running.
Boxing requires a lot of stopping and starting. Interval training mimics the stopping and starting that your body will go through during a boxing match. Run for 200, 400, 600, or 800 meters as fast as you can, and then rest for 1 minute between each interval. Do interval running 2 or 3 days a week and never on consecutive days.
For example, do intervals on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday instead of Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.
Adjust the amount of intervals you are doing based on the length of your fight. If you are training for a 5 round fight, run 6 intervals to prepare.
Tips
Practice your mobility so you can jump around and take punches.
Get plenty of sleep.
Have someone help you exercise.
Warnings
Don't punch or fight with people simply. Use them when required
Avoid punching people on sides of their foreheads, noses and chins
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Practicing Your Punches\\n1-1. Join boxing classes.\\nTaking boxing classes can help you improve your technique by receiving expert instruction. Check online, your local newspaper, and local gyms to find classes. You can train on your own, but you will become a better boxer if you are being formally trained. Formal training will also help you meet other boxers that you can train with.\\nDo your research on the schools that are out there, and see if you can take a class at each facility you're interested in. Then you can determine whether the instructor, atmosphere, and structure are right for you and your own way of doing things.\\nFor instance, some people prefer to train in a way where they want to get into a ring, and there are schools for those trying to be professional fighters. Other schools are more focused on winning tournaments.\\n1-2. Practice on a punching bag.\\nA heavy punching bag can be used to practice all of your punches. Exhale as you throw each punch and tighten your body and fist as you throw the punch. Always return to your fighting stance after each punch. Always protect yourself with your non-punching hand.\\nIf you are not a member of a boxing gym, you can purchase a punching bag online or at a sporting goods store.\\n1-3. Hit the speed bag.\\nA speed bag will help you with rhythm, timing, hand-eye coordination, and endurance. The speed bag will go back and forth 3 times for every one time you hit it. Hit the bag with your right hand twice and then hit the bag with your left hand twice. Use the front of your fist for your first hit and the bottom of your fist for your second hit.\\nStand directly in front of the bag; not in your boxer's stance. You should also be eye level with the bag.\\nStart by practicing a single punch. Complete 3 sets of 10 punches.\\n1-4. Get in boxing stance.\\nIn the orthodox boxing stance, your left foot is in the lead. Keep your chin down with your rear hand (usually your right hand) guarding your chin. Your lead hand should be about 6 to 8 inches from your chin, and your elbows should be tucked in. Stand slightly sideways so your entire chest is not facing your opponent. Your knees should be slightly bent, and your feet should be a little wider than shoulder width. \\nIf you are left handed, you will lead with your right food instead. Your rear hand will be your left hand, and your lead hand will be your right hand. This is called the southpaw stance.\\n1-5. Throw a jab.\\nA jab is the most important punch. It help keep your opponent away from you and sets up your other punches. A jab is a quick punch that you throw with your lead hand. Keep your chin down and protect your chin with your rear hand as you punch. Extend your arm fully and quickly and then bring your arm back to the original stance position. \\nYou should never lean in or lunge to jab your opponent. If you feel the need to do this, you are not in a good position to throw a jab.\\n1-6. Throw a cross.\\nA cross is a punch thrown with your rear hand and is more powerful than a jab. Guard your chin with your lead hand and then fully extend your rear hand. As you throw your cross, pivot your rear foot so that your heel is up and your toes are still on the ground. Rotate your body counter clockwise as you extend your arm and lean forward just a little bit. Rotate your fist as you punch so that the palm of your hand is facing the floor. \\nBring your hand back to protect your chin after you throw the punch.\\nRemember to keep your knees bent so you do not lose your balance.\\n1-7. Throw a hook.\\nA hook is a punch that is used to punch your opponent in the side. You can use your rear or lead hand to throw a hook. Bend your arm to a 90 degree angle and rotate your body in the direction that your punch is going. Pivot your foot as you throw the punch as well and bend your knees. Protect your chin with your opposite hand as you throw a hook. \\nIf you throw with your lead hand, pivot your lead foot. If you throw with your rear hand, pivot your rear foot.\\n1-8. Throw an uppercut.\\nYou will usually throw an uppercut if your opponent puts his or her head too low. This is a power punch that you throw from your waist. You can throw one with your lead or rear hand. To throw with your lead arm, dip your head to the outside of your lead foot, twist your hips, and rotate your body in an upward motion as you throw the punch. An uppercut with your rear hand usually follows a jab by your lead hand.\\n1-9. Throw an overhand punch.\\nUse your rear hand to throw an overhand punch. Arch your rear elbow to a 90-135 degree angle and lean to the outside of your lead foot. Bend your knees as you throw and aim for your opponent's head. Pivot your back foot as you throw this punch as well.\\nThis punch takes a longer time to reach your opponent than the other punches. Do not wind up too much or your opponent will know what is coming.\\n1-10. Throw combinations.\\nOnce you are able to do all five punches, practice throwing combinations. You should practice these punches until they become second nature to you. The more you practice them, the faster and more efficient you will become. You can also begin to string together multiple combinations. The basic combinations are: \\nThe 1-2 (jab -right cross)\\nThe 1-1-2 (jab-jab-cross)\\nThe 1-2-3 (jab-cross-left hook)\\nThe 1-2-3-2 (jab-cross-hook-cross)\\nThe 1-2-5-2 (jab-cross-left uppercut-cross)\\nThe 1-6-3-2 (jab-right uppercut-left hook-right hand)\\n2. Working on Your Defensive Skills\\n2-1. Practice getting hit.\\nGetting hit during a fight will take a lot of energy out of you and cause you to become fatigued. When you get tired, it will be harder to keep your hands up. To prepare your body for this, train with 3 or 5 pound weights around your arms and ankles.To prepare for body shots, have someone drop a medicine ball on your stomach while you are doing crunches. The ball should drop in between each repetition.\\n2-2. Move your head.\\nIn addition to protecting your head with your fists, you must learn to move your head to avoid getting hit. A good way to move is to practice making letters with your head. Try the following letters:\\n\\\"T\\\" - move your head side-to-side and then duck down\\n\\\"V\\\" - move your head down and then slip\\n\\\"C\\\" - move your head backwards and then around\\n2-3. Spar with another boxer.\\nSparring is a time for you to have a practice your skills and test your conditioning. Punching bags are fine, but they cannot prepare you to box with an opponent in the ring. Spar with people who are a different size than you and that have different abilities (e.g. faster, more advanced, better jab, slower than you, etc.) Remember that sparring is about practicing and getting better, not beating up your partner.\\n2-4. Interrupt your opponent's punches.\\nWhen your opponent throws a punch, your first instinct will be to protect yourself. However, you do not have to wait for your opponent to finish throwing punches before you start punching back. Counter your opponent's punches instead of focusing on blocking.\\nAlways keep your eyes on your opponent as you take a punch and try not to lean back.\\n2-5. Shadow box to practice your skills.\\nShadow boxing allows to you to visualize different opponents and scenarios. Practice throwing punches, moving your head, and moving your feet. Practice different combinations. Focus on your technique and quickness as you throw your punches as well.\\nDo not wear gloves or use weights when you shadow box.\\nIt is helpful to shadow box in front of a mirror or in front of a trainer so that you can get feedback on your movements.\\nYou can shadow box for an allotted time period. Try focusing on a specific skill (e.g. uppercut, pivoting your foot) during each round.\\n3. Conditioning Your Body\\n3-1. Jump rope to improve your footwork.\\nJump roping develops your endurance, coordination, agility, quickness, and footwork. Use small wrist rotations instead of your entire arm to swing the rope around. Jump high enough so the rope slides right under your feet. You do not want to jump too high. Your landing is one of the most important parts of your jump roping. Stay on the balls of your feet and keep your knees slightly bent as you land.\\nOnce you can have mastered basic jump roping, you can try more advanced techniques like jump roping side-to-side and crossing your arms.\\nGet a jump rope that is long enough for your body. You should be able to step in the middle of the rope and pull the handles to your shoulder.\\nStart by jumping rope for 20 seconds without tripping. Build up your endurance until you can jump rope for 1, 2, or 3 minutes (rounds) without stopping. Take a 30-60 second break between each round.\\n3-2. Jog\\nJogging will build your endurance so that you can last through 12 rounds of boxing. Run at an easy pace where your heart rate does not go higher than 150 beats per minute. Try to run for at least 60 minutes, 5 times a week. If you are unable to run for 60 minutes without stopping, run for shorter periods of time and work your way up. If you have not been jogging regularly, work your way up to 5 times a week as well.\\nIf you are a beginner, start with running for 10 or 20 minutes, 3 times a week.\\nYou eventually want to build up to running for 2-3 hours, 5 times a week.\\n3-3. Be flexible to improve your performance.\\nStretching before and after your workouts will improve flexibility, lower your risk of injuries, and increase your range of motion. Stretch all of the major muscle groups in your body (e.g. legs, arms, chest, shoulders, back, abdominal). Hold each stretch for 30 seconds. Try to stretch for at least 15 minutes every time you stretch. \\nNever stretch cold muscles. You can stretch after you warm up (e.g. jump rope or light jog) or after your workout.\\nFocus your stretching on areas that you use the most when you are boxing. These include your chest, hip flexors, calves, biceps, and abdominals.\\n3-4. Lift weights to increase strength.\\nWeight lifting can improve your power and speed. Olympic style weightlifting is particularly helpful in your boxing training. Back squats, clean and jerks, dead lifts, and snatches are all great exercises. Lifting should not be done on the same days that you are doing your boxing training. For example, if you are in the boxing ring Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, then you would lift weights on Tuesday and Thursday.\\nIf you do not want to do Olympic style weightlifting, you can do more traditional exercises. Do exercises for your hips and legs (e.g. lunges, squats, mountain climbers), core (e.g. planks, back extension, etc.), and upper body (e.g. pull ups, push ups, chest press, shoulder press, etc.)\\nAvoid strength training the week before your boxing match.\\n3-5. Do interval running.\\nBoxing requires a lot of stopping and starting. Interval training mimics the stopping and starting that your body will go through during a boxing match. Run for 200, 400, 600, or 800 meters as fast as you can, and then rest for 1 minute between each interval. Do interval running 2 or 3 days a week and never on consecutive days.\\nFor example, do intervals on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday instead of Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.\\nAdjust the amount of intervals you are doing based on the length of your fight. If you are training for a 5 round fight, run 6 intervals to prepare.\\nTips\\nPractice your mobility so you can jump around and take punches.\\nGet plenty of sleep.\\nHave someone help you exercise.\\nWarnings\\nDon't punch or fight with people simply. Use them when required\\nAvoid punching people on sides of their foreheads, noses and chins\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to become a good boxer? Boxers must have a combination of endurance, strength, agility, and speed to excel. Becoming a good boxer requires dedication and hard work. You can train on your own, but joining a gym and training with other boxers can take your skills to the next level.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practicing Your Punches\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join boxing classes.\", \"描述\": \"Taking boxing classes can help you improve your technique by receiving expert instruction. Check online, your local newspaper, and local gyms to find classes. You can train on your own, but you will become a better boxer if you are being formally trained. Formal training will also help you meet other boxers that you can train with.\\nDo your research on the schools that are out there, and see if you can take a class at each facility you're interested in. Then you can determine whether the instructor, atmosphere, and structure are right for you and your own way of doing things.\\nFor instance, some people prefer to train in a way where they want to get into a ring, and there are schools for those trying to be professional fighters. Other schools are more focused on winning tournaments.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice on a punching bag.\", \"描述\": \"A heavy punching bag can be used to practice all of your punches. Exhale as you throw each punch and tighten your body and fist as you throw the punch. Always return to your fighting stance after each punch. Always protect yourself with your non-punching hand.\\nIf you are not a member of a boxing gym, you can purchase a punching bag online or at a sporting goods store.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hit the speed bag.\", \"描述\": \"A speed bag will help you with rhythm, timing, hand-eye coordination, and endurance. The speed bag will go back and forth 3 times for every one time you hit it. Hit the bag with your right hand twice and then hit the bag with your left hand twice. Use the front of your fist for your first hit and the bottom of your fist for your second hit.\\nStand directly in front of the bag; not in your boxer's stance. You should also be eye level with the bag.\\nStart by practicing a single punch. Complete 3 sets of 10 punches.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get in boxing stance.\", \"描述\": \"In the orthodox boxing stance, your left foot is in the lead. Keep your chin down with your rear hand (usually your right hand) guarding your chin. Your lead hand should be about 6 to 8 inches from your chin, and your elbows should be tucked in. Stand slightly sideways so your entire chest is not facing your opponent. Your knees should be slightly bent, and your feet should be a little wider than shoulder width. \\nIf you are left handed, you will lead with your right food instead. Your rear hand will be your left hand, and your lead hand will be your right hand. This is called the southpaw stance.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Throw a jab.\", \"描述\": \"A jab is the most important punch. It help keep your opponent away from you and sets up your other punches. A jab is a quick punch that you throw with your lead hand. Keep your chin down and protect your chin with your rear hand as you punch. Extend your arm fully and quickly and then bring your arm back to the original stance position. \\nYou should never lean in or lunge to jab your opponent. If you feel the need to do this, you are not in a good position to throw a jab.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Throw a cross.\", \"描述\": \"A cross is a punch thrown with your rear hand and is more powerful than a jab. Guard your chin with your lead hand and then fully extend your rear hand. As you throw your cross, pivot your rear foot so that your heel is up and your toes are still on the ground. Rotate your body counter clockwise as you extend your arm and lean forward just a little bit. Rotate your fist as you punch so that the palm of your hand is facing the floor. \\nBring your hand back to protect your chin after you throw the punch.\\nRemember to keep your knees bent so you do not lose your balance.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Throw a hook.\", \"描述\": \"A hook is a punch that is used to punch your opponent in the side. You can use your rear or lead hand to throw a hook. Bend your arm to a 90 degree angle and rotate your body in the direction that your punch is going. Pivot your foot as you throw the punch as well and bend your knees. Protect your chin with your opposite hand as you throw a hook. \\nIf you throw with your lead hand, pivot your lead foot. If you throw with your rear hand, pivot your rear foot.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Throw an uppercut.\", \"描述\": \"You will usually throw an uppercut if your opponent puts his or her head too low. This is a power punch that you throw from your waist. You can throw one with your lead or rear hand. To throw with your lead arm, dip your head to the outside of your lead foot, twist your hips, and rotate your body in an upward motion as you throw the punch. An uppercut with your rear hand usually follows a jab by your lead hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Throw an overhand punch.\", \"描述\": \"Use your rear hand to throw an overhand punch. Arch your rear elbow to a 90-135 degree angle and lean to the outside of your lead foot. Bend your knees as you throw and aim for your opponent's head. Pivot your back foot as you throw this punch as well.\\nThis punch takes a longer time to reach your opponent than the other punches. Do not wind up too much or your opponent will know what is coming.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Throw combinations.\", \"描述\": \"Once you are able to do all five punches, practice throwing combinations. You should practice these punches until they become second nature to you. The more you practice them, the faster and more efficient you will become. You can also begin to string together multiple combinations. The basic combinations are: \\nThe 1-2 (jab -right cross)\\nThe 1-1-2 (jab-jab-cross)\\nThe 1-2-3 (jab-cross-left hook)\\nThe 1-2-3-2 (jab-cross-hook-cross)\\nThe 1-2-5-2 (jab-cross-left uppercut-cross)\\nThe 1-6-3-2 (jab-right uppercut-left hook-right hand)\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Working on Your Defensive Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice getting hit.\", \"描述\": \"Getting hit during a fight will take a lot of energy out of you and cause you to become fatigued. When you get tired, it will be harder to keep your hands up. To prepare your body for this, train with 3 or 5 pound weights around your arms and ankles.To prepare for body shots, have someone drop a medicine ball on your stomach while you are doing crunches. The ball should drop in between each repetition.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Move your head.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to protecting your head with your fists, you must learn to move your head to avoid getting hit. A good way to move is to practice making letters with your head. Try the following letters:\\n\\\"T\\\" - move your head side-to-side and then duck down\\n\\\"V\\\" - move your head down and then slip\\n\\\"C\\\" - move your head backwards and then around\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spar with another boxer.\", \"描述\": \"Sparring is a time for you to have a practice your skills and test your conditioning. Punching bags are fine, but they cannot prepare you to box with an opponent in the ring. Spar with people who are a different size than you and that have different abilities (e.g. faster, more advanced, better jab, slower than you, etc.) Remember that sparring is about practicing and getting better, not beating up your partner.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Interrupt your opponent's punches.\", \"描述\": \"When your opponent throws a punch, your first instinct will be to protect yourself. However, you do not have to wait for your opponent to finish throwing punches before you start punching back. Counter your opponent's punches instead of focusing on blocking.\\nAlways keep your eyes on your opponent as you take a punch and try not to lean back.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Shadow box to practice your skills.\", \"描述\": \"Shadow boxing allows to you to visualize different opponents and scenarios. Practice throwing punches, moving your head, and moving your feet. Practice different combinations. Focus on your technique and quickness as you throw your punches as well.\\nDo not wear gloves or use weights when you shadow box.\\nIt is helpful to shadow box in front of a mirror or in front of a trainer so that you can get feedback on your movements.\\nYou can shadow box for an allotted time period. Try focusing on a specific skill (e.g. uppercut, pivoting your foot) during each round.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Conditioning Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Jump rope to improve your footwork.\", \"描述\": \"Jump roping develops your endurance, coordination, agility, quickness, and footwork. Use small wrist rotations instead of your entire arm to swing the rope around. Jump high enough so the rope slides right under your feet. You do not want to jump too high. Your landing is one of the most important parts of your jump roping. Stay on the balls of your feet and keep your knees slightly bent as you land.\\nOnce you can have mastered basic jump roping, you can try more advanced techniques like jump roping side-to-side and crossing your arms.\\nGet a jump rope that is long enough for your body. You should be able to step in the middle of the rope and pull the handles to your shoulder.\\nStart by jumping rope for 20 seconds without tripping. Build up your endurance until you can jump rope for 1, 2, or 3 minutes (rounds) without stopping. Take a 30-60 second break between each round.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Jog\", \"描述\": \"Jogging will build your endurance so that you can last through 12 rounds of boxing. Run at an easy pace where your heart rate does not go higher than 150 beats per minute. Try to run for at least 60 minutes, 5 times a week. If you are unable to run for 60 minutes without stopping, run for shorter periods of time and work your way up. If you have not been jogging regularly, work your way up to 5 times a week as well.\\nIf you are a beginner, start with running for 10 or 20 minutes, 3 times a week.\\nYou eventually want to build up to running for 2-3 hours, 5 times a week.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be flexible to improve your performance.\", \"描述\": \"Stretching before and after your workouts will improve flexibility, lower your risk of injuries, and increase your range of motion. Stretch all of the major muscle groups in your body (e.g. legs, arms, chest, shoulders, back, abdominal). Hold each stretch for 30 seconds. Try to stretch for at least 15 minutes every time you stretch. \\nNever stretch cold muscles. You can stretch after you warm up (e.g. jump rope or light jog) or after your workout.\\nFocus your stretching on areas that you use the most when you are boxing. These include your chest, hip flexors, calves, biceps, and abdominals.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Lift weights to increase strength.\", \"描述\": \"Weight lifting can improve your power and speed. Olympic style weightlifting is particularly helpful in your boxing training. Back squats, clean and jerks, dead lifts, and snatches are all great exercises. Lifting should not be done on the same days that you are doing your boxing training. For example, if you are in the boxing ring Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, then you would lift weights on Tuesday and Thursday.\\nIf you do not want to do Olympic style weightlifting, you can do more traditional exercises. Do exercises for your hips and legs (e.g. lunges, squats, mountain climbers), core (e.g. planks, back extension, etc.), and upper body (e.g. pull ups, push ups, chest press, shoulder press, etc.)\\nAvoid strength training the week before your boxing match.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do interval running.\", \"描述\": \"Boxing requires a lot of stopping and starting. Interval training mimics the stopping and starting that your body will go through during a boxing match. Run for 200, 400, 600, or 800 meters as fast as you can, and then rest for 1 minute between each interval. Do interval running 2 or 3 days a week and never on consecutive days.\\nFor example, do intervals on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday instead of Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.\\nAdjust the amount of intervals you are doing based on the length of your fight. If you are training for a 5 round fight, run 6 intervals to prepare.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Practice your mobility so you can jump around and take punches.\\n\", \"Get plenty of sleep.\\n\", \"Have someone help you exercise.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't punch or fight with people simply. Use them when required\\n\", \"Avoid punching people on sides of their foreheads, noses and chins\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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How to Be a Good Boy
|
1. Being a Good Boy at Home
1-1. Listen to your parents.
The best thing you can do to be a good boy at home is to listen to what your parents tell you to do. If they ask you to help out, to turn down your music, or to join them for dinner with your aunt and uncle, then you should do as they say as much as possible. Of course, if their demands are completely unreasonable, then you should have a nice, open conversation with them, but as a rule of thumb, you can be a good boy and make your parents happy by listening to what they tell you to do.
If your grandparents or other adults live in your home, then you should listen to them, too.
When your parents are talking to you, make sure you look them in the eye and that you put away your phone. Make them see that you really care.
1-2. Help out around the house.
If you want to be a good boy, then you should help clean up messes instead of creating them. Work to clean up after yourself, do your own laundry, and help your parents with daily tasks like throwing out the trash, taking the dog for a walk, wiping down the kitchen table, or anything else that you can do to lighten the load. If you have required chores, then you should do them without grumbling and even go above and beyond when it comes to housework.
You shouldn’t have to ask if you need to help or what you can do. Instead, be observant and look around to see what really needs to be cleaned up or fixed, from a sink of overflowing dishes to a hamper of clean laundry that needs to be folded.
1-3. Respect your siblings.
Another way to be a good boy is to be nice to your siblings, whether they are older or younger. If you’re the older sibling, you should serve a role model for your siblings and should help them grow more mature and reasonable as they get older. If you’re a younger sibling, then you should be nice and avoid taunting or teasing your older siblings too much and let them have their own space. Being a good sibling is an important part of being a good boy, and you should try to get along with your siblings as much as you can.
You should also help your parents out by spending time with your siblings so they don’t always have to watch over them. If your siblings are upset, help them sort their problems out when you can so your parents can have some time to themselves.
Avoiding fights with your siblings will help you be a good boy because you’ll be helping make things easier around the house.
1-4. Obey the rules.
Another thing you can do to be a good boy is to obey the rules your parents have set forward. This can mean sticking to your curfew, waking up at a certain time, doing the chores you were meant to do, cleaning up after yourself, only spending a certain amount of time on your phone or computer, and so on. If you want to be a good boy, then you should obey the rules you are given and only question them if you really think you need to talk to your parents about it.
Disregarding your parents’ rules shows them that you don’t respect or care for them as much as you could. You have to show them how much you appreciate their parenting by listening to them.
If you have siblings, it's important to follow your parents’ rules so that you set a good example for your brother or sister.
1-5. Apologize when you have made a mistake.
Being a good boy doesn’t mean being perfect all the time. It does, however, mean that you should apologize when you feel like you’ve made a mistake. If you want to be a good boy, then you have to learn when you have done something wrong and be ready to admit it. To truly apologize, look your parents and siblings in the eyes and give them a sincere and honest apology to show that you’ve put a lot of thought into what you’ve done and that you won’t do it again.
Don’t just say you’re sorry while you’re doing something else or heading out the door. Take the time to sit down with your parents and take the time to let them know you really messed up.
1-6. Make your parents’ lives easier.
The best thing you can do as a good boy is to make your parents’ lives easier. This can mean doing extra chores when you’re not asked, being extra obedient on days when you can see that your parents are extra tired, spending time with your siblings to give your parents more time off, or even giving your parents space when they’re tired and want to lie down. Most parents are overwhelmed by their parenting duties, and if you try to make their lives easier instead of creating problems, then they will be grateful to you for it.
As you get older, you can help them run more errands, like picking up a few groceries, washing the car at home, shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, or helping get your younger siblings ready for school. If you are good at snow shoveling, you can even make legitimate money by doing it for your neighbors.
If you see that your parents come home upset, try helping cook dinner or ask if you can pick up some pizza to make things easier.
1-7. Learn more skills to help out around the house.
You may think that there’s only so much you can do because you’re too young to really help out, but you can always learn more ways to help. If your parents do your laundry or wash your dishes for you, learn to do it yourself. If your parents always take care of the dog or cat, you should learn when they need to be fed and when to take out the dog. You can even learn to cook simple things, or to make yourself sandwiches for lunch so your parents don’t have to do it.
Don’t think that you can’t really help because you’re too young; instead, be a good boy and always look out for new ways to help out.
1-8. Find hobbies that help you improve yourself.
Another way to be a good boy is to work on becoming a smarter, more interesting person. This can mean spending more time reading and writing, teaching yourself a foreign language, learning a skill such as soccer or playing guitar, and generally caring about self-improvement. Though watching TV or playing games online can make for a fun break, you should attempt to grow as a person as much as you can if you want to be a good boy.
Part of being a good boy means becoming more mature and growing as a person. Learning new skills and educating yourself can help you become a more thoughtful, well-rounded individual.
1-9. Don’t disobey your parents in public.
Another way to be a good boy is to make sure to listen to your parents in public. Avoid contradicting them, ignoring them, openly disregarding their rules, throwing tantrums, or doing anything that would make them feel embarrassed and disappointed in you. If you disagree with them about something, bring it up later, when you’re alone at home, so you can have a productive conversation with them instead of throwing a fit.
Even if you really, really want something your parents won’t give you right then, you should avoid embarrassing or making them feel bad. This will make them upset and can hurt your relationship with them. Instead, do the mature thing and avoid throwing a tantrum and ask if you can talk about it later.
2. Being a Good Boy at School
2-1. Listen to your teachers.
One of the best ways to be a good boy is to listen to your teachers. You should respect them and recognize that they’re just people, too, and that it’s rude and unkind to ignore them, be mean to them, or question their authority. Pay attention, stay calm, and show that you are engaged in whet they are saying. Make an effort to do as your teachers say and not to cause problems in the classroom. Not only will listening to your teachers make them happier, but it will make your parents happier, too.
If you really struggle with listening to your teachers or think they are being completely unreasonable, then you should be as nice as you can to them and talk to your parents to discuss next steps.
2-2. Do as well as you can in school.
You don’t need to get perfect grades to do well in school. However, you should make an effort to do as well as you can, to study for your exams, to do your homework, and to generally be a dedicated student. When you need help, come to your teachers or your parents for help, and make an effort to always improve. Good boys tend to do well in school, because they know that success in the classroom is important.
Make an effort to study for your exams well in advance so you get the best results.
What’s most important is that you respect the idea of education and come in to school on time and are happy to be there.
2-3. Be kind to your classmates.
If you want to be a good boy, then you have to be nice to your classmates, whether you’re with your lab partner or talking to some kids on the bus to school. Treating other people with kindness and respect is one major way to be a good boy. Don’t put down students who don’t do as well in school as you or make fun of people for their clothes or their general appearance. Work to truly treat others as you’d like to be treated and you’ll be on your way to being a good boy.
You may think that putting down other people will make you look better, but really, the best thing you can do is be friendly to everybody and most especially those who are being bullied by other students. In addition to feeling great about yourself, people like you and feel comfortable around you.
If someone in class doesn’t know something, don’t make fun of that person and help him or her understand the material instead.
You can also be friendly and provide a positive voice in non-academic situations such as when eating lunch in the cafeteria or peeing in the boys' bathroom.
2-4. Participate in class.
Another way to be a good boy is to participate in class. This shows your teachers that you’re listening and that you care. When your teacher asks questions, you should make an effort to answer them while giving other people a chance to answer, too. If you’re interested in or confused by something, then you should ask your teacher questions when it’s appropriate. If you’re engaged in class and participate often, then you’ll be making learning more fun for yourself while being a good boy in the process.
If your teacher asks for a volunteer, help her out by participating in whatever activity she has planned.
Make sure to participate in group work, too. You should always be active and engaged with the material.
2-5. Follow the rules.
In order to be a good boy in school, you should avoid having conflicts with your teachers and your administrators. Follow all of the rules at your school, from any dress code rules you have to follow to coming to school on time and acting respectful in the school cafeteria. If you have broken a rule, be honest about it and apologize and show that you won’t do it again. If you want to be a good boy, then listening to the rules is important.
If you want to be a good student, then it’s important to follow the rules in your school. You don’t want to develop a bad reputation with your teachers; if you do that, then it’ll be hard for them to take you seriously.
2-6. Don’t be arrogant.
Good boys don’t try to act like the smartest person in the room or question their teachers' authority for the sake of causing problems. Whether you’re hanging out with your friends during recess or listening to your teacher talk about George Washington, you should avoid acting like a know-it-all, or you’re likely to annoy the people around you. Though it’s important to be curious and to question things in order to reach your own conclusions, you shouldn’t show off or brag or act like you know more than other people if you want to be a good boy.
Trying to outsmart your teachers is one of the worst things you can do if you want them to like you. If you try these antics, they’ll be making a fast phone call to your parents.
Of course, if you have a legitimate concern, you can still bring it up to your teacher. Just make sure you do so in a respectful manner.
Showing off in front of your friends isn’t a good idea, either. They’ll quickly get tired of your act.
2-7. Be honest.
It’s important to be honest if you want to be truly good in school and outside of it. If you’re in trouble for breaking the rules, then be honest about what you did instead of lying and trying to cover it up. When it comes to tests, you should avoid cheating or engaging in other dishonest behavior and work on getting good grades honestly, through studying and hard work. If you’re dishonest in school, then that will make you dishonest in other parts of your life and will lead you to not be a good boy.
Though it’s okay to tell an occasional white lie to save a person’s feelings (such as telling your friend you like his bad haircut), it’s important to have integrity when it comes to the important stuff. Make sure to tell your teachers and parents the truth, or you’ll make a lifelong bad habit.
It’s not always easy to be honest. If you’re honest about something that is difficult to share, then you should be proud of yourself for opening up.
2-8. Be organized.
Good boys tend to be organized in school, so that they can focus on their studies without making a mess. Have an organized backpack, school and home desk, notebook, and anything else you use for school. Work on separating your school subjects by folder and always knowing where everything is. If you want to succeed in school and be a good boy, then it’s important to be on top of your organizational skills.
Being organized goes hand in hand with being. Make sure that your desk at home, your desk at school, and your locker or backpack are neat and organized. Taking just 10-15 minutes a day to clean your things can help you stay on top of your studies.
It is very helpful to keep a planner with all things you have to do and due dates.
3. Being a Good Boy with Others
3-1. Be respectful.
If you want to be a good boy, then it’s important to treat other people with respect. Whether they are your parents’ friends or your dentist, it’s important to be nice and respectful to the people around you and to treat them with basic kindness. Respect their space, ask them how they’re doing, and avoid asking overly personal questions. Being respectful is an important quality of a good boy as well as a good man.
Good boys are respectful, especially of their elders. Make sure to treat people who are older than you with the utmost respect, even if you may disagree with them sometimes.
When you’re in public, make sure you’re not too loud and avoid not cleaning up your mess. A restaurant or movie theatre isn’t your bedroom, and you need to be aware of the people around you.
3-2. Be nice to your neighbors.
Another way to be a good boy is to be nice to your neighbors. Avoid making too much noise, accidentally getting on their property, ignoring them, or generally not treating them kindly. Your parents will want you to be nice to them to help make a good impression for your family, and being nice to them will make your living situation much easier. Even if you feel like you don’t have a lot in common with them, it’s always important to be nice.
Just making polite small talk can make a big difference. When you see your neighbors, just say, “Hi, how are you?” You don’t have to get wrapped up in a long conversation with them, but take the time to acknowledge them.
3-3. Be kind to girls.
One of the most important parts of being a good boy is treating girls with the kindness and respect they deserve. Be nice to them, make an effort to get to know them, and only tease them if you’re both being playful. Don’t ever make demeaning or nasty comments to a girl or make her feel bad about her looks or who she is. Even if the other boys around you aren’t mature enough to be nice to girls yet, it’s important that you break this mold and make an effort to treat them with care and kindness.
When you see a girl, be friendly and ask how she’s doing. You can even compliment her new haircut or a piece of jewelry she’s wearing.
If you’re shy about talking to girls, you don’t have to force it. The more you talk to girls little by little, the more comfortable you’ll feel about opening up to them.
3-4. Be polite.
Being polite is an important part of being a good boy. Being polite means treating others with kindness and respect, avoiding being vulgar, and showing a kind interest in people. It also means avoiding any offensive topics or being rude to the people you don’t like. While you don’t have to be best friends with everyone, it doesn’t take any effort to be polite, and it can help make your social situations easier.
Being polite also means having good manners. Avoid burping in public and excuse yourself if you do. Don’t chew with your mouth full. Ask people how they’re doing when you see them. If you’re introduced to a new person, stand up to say hello. Let people pass in front of you instead of butting in in front of them.
3-5. Help out in your community.
If you want to be a good boy, then you should work on volunteering in your community to help make the world a better place. You can volunteer with your parents, or jump on your bicycle to go by yourself or with some friends if you’re old enough to do that. You can help clean up a local park, help people learn to read at the library, or volunteer in a soup kitchen to help people have access to food. To be a good boy, you have to know that it’s about more than just being good at school or at home, but in the world at large.
Make an effort to give at least a few hours of your time to others a month, whether you’re volunteering through your school, church, or another community organization.
If you help out with your parents, then this will also be a great bonding activity.
3-6. Spread your positive energy.
To be a good boy out in the world, it’s important to spread your positive energy and to make the people around you feel happier and better about the world. You should avoid complaining or being overly negative and should work on talking about all of the good things in your life, smiling, and complimenting people instead of being negative or only focusing on the bad things in life. If you want to be a good boy, then you want to work on spreading good in the world.
Work on complimenting people instead of criticising them. It’s a better people to make people feel good about themselves than to put them down.
Work on smiling more often too. It’ll make you and the people around you feel happier.
Warnings
Do not resort to physical violence against a bully except when it is the only thing you can do to stop him from physically hurting you or someone else. Avoid taking this further than necessary.
Truth will win all the time. Never tell lies.
If you are caught in a lie, the consequences will be worse than if you had told the truth.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being a Good Boy at Home\\n1-1. Listen to your parents.\\nThe best thing you can do to be a good boy at home is to listen to what your parents tell you to do. If they ask you to help out, to turn down your music, or to join them for dinner with your aunt and uncle, then you should do as they say as much as possible. Of course, if their demands are completely unreasonable, then you should have a nice, open conversation with them, but as a rule of thumb, you can be a good boy and make your parents happy by listening to what they tell you to do.\\nIf your grandparents or other adults live in your home, then you should listen to them, too.\\nWhen your parents are talking to you, make sure you look them in the eye and that you put away your phone. Make them see that you really care.\\n1-2. Help out around the house.\\nIf you want to be a good boy, then you should help clean up messes instead of creating them. Work to clean up after yourself, do your own laundry, and help your parents with daily tasks like throwing out the trash, taking the dog for a walk, wiping down the kitchen table, or anything else that you can do to lighten the load. If you have required chores, then you should do them without grumbling and even go above and beyond when it comes to housework.\\nYou shouldn’t have to ask if you need to help or what you can do. Instead, be observant and look around to see what really needs to be cleaned up or fixed, from a sink of overflowing dishes to a hamper of clean laundry that needs to be folded.\\n1-3. Respect your siblings.\\nAnother way to be a good boy is to be nice to your siblings, whether they are older or younger. If you’re the older sibling, you should serve a role model for your siblings and should help them grow more mature and reasonable as they get older. If you’re a younger sibling, then you should be nice and avoid taunting or teasing your older siblings too much and let them have their own space. Being a good sibling is an important part of being a good boy, and you should try to get along with your siblings as much as you can.\\nYou should also help your parents out by spending time with your siblings so they don’t always have to watch over them. If your siblings are upset, help them sort their problems out when you can so your parents can have some time to themselves.\\nAvoiding fights with your siblings will help you be a good boy because you’ll be helping make things easier around the house.\\n1-4. Obey the rules.\\nAnother thing you can do to be a good boy is to obey the rules your parents have set forward. This can mean sticking to your curfew, waking up at a certain time, doing the chores you were meant to do, cleaning up after yourself, only spending a certain amount of time on your phone or computer, and so on. If you want to be a good boy, then you should obey the rules you are given and only question them if you really think you need to talk to your parents about it.\\nDisregarding your parents’ rules shows them that you don’t respect or care for them as much as you could. You have to show them how much you appreciate their parenting by listening to them.\\nIf you have siblings, it's important to follow your parents’ rules so that you set a good example for your brother or sister.\\n1-5. Apologize when you have made a mistake.\\nBeing a good boy doesn’t mean being perfect all the time. It does, however, mean that you should apologize when you feel like you’ve made a mistake. If you want to be a good boy, then you have to learn when you have done something wrong and be ready to admit it. To truly apologize, look your parents and siblings in the eyes and give them a sincere and honest apology to show that you’ve put a lot of thought into what you’ve done and that you won’t do it again.\\nDon’t just say you’re sorry while you’re doing something else or heading out the door. Take the time to sit down with your parents and take the time to let them know you really messed up.\\n1-6. Make your parents’ lives easier.\\nThe best thing you can do as a good boy is to make your parents’ lives easier. This can mean doing extra chores when you’re not asked, being extra obedient on days when you can see that your parents are extra tired, spending time with your siblings to give your parents more time off, or even giving your parents space when they’re tired and want to lie down. Most parents are overwhelmed by their parenting duties, and if you try to make their lives easier instead of creating problems, then they will be grateful to you for it.\\nAs you get older, you can help them run more errands, like picking up a few groceries, washing the car at home, shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, or helping get your younger siblings ready for school. If you are good at snow shoveling, you can even make legitimate money by doing it for your neighbors.\\nIf you see that your parents come home upset, try helping cook dinner or ask if you can pick up some pizza to make things easier.\\n1-7. Learn more skills to help out around the house.\\nYou may think that there’s only so much you can do because you’re too young to really help out, but you can always learn more ways to help. If your parents do your laundry or wash your dishes for you, learn to do it yourself. If your parents always take care of the dog or cat, you should learn when they need to be fed and when to take out the dog. You can even learn to cook simple things, or to make yourself sandwiches for lunch so your parents don’t have to do it.\\nDon’t think that you can’t really help because you’re too young; instead, be a good boy and always look out for new ways to help out.\\n1-8. Find hobbies that help you improve yourself.\\nAnother way to be a good boy is to work on becoming a smarter, more interesting person. This can mean spending more time reading and writing, teaching yourself a foreign language, learning a skill such as soccer or playing guitar, and generally caring about self-improvement. Though watching TV or playing games online can make for a fun break, you should attempt to grow as a person as much as you can if you want to be a good boy.\\nPart of being a good boy means becoming more mature and growing as a person. Learning new skills and educating yourself can help you become a more thoughtful, well-rounded individual.\\n1-9. Don’t disobey your parents in public.\\nAnother way to be a good boy is to make sure to listen to your parents in public. Avoid contradicting them, ignoring them, openly disregarding their rules, throwing tantrums, or doing anything that would make them feel embarrassed and disappointed in you. If you disagree with them about something, bring it up later, when you’re alone at home, so you can have a productive conversation with them instead of throwing a fit.\\nEven if you really, really want something your parents won’t give you right then, you should avoid embarrassing or making them feel bad. This will make them upset and can hurt your relationship with them. Instead, do the mature thing and avoid throwing a tantrum and ask if you can talk about it later.\\n2. Being a Good Boy at School\\n2-1. Listen to your teachers.\\nOne of the best ways to be a good boy is to listen to your teachers. You should respect them and recognize that they’re just people, too, and that it’s rude and unkind to ignore them, be mean to them, or question their authority. Pay attention, stay calm, and show that you are engaged in whet they are saying. Make an effort to do as your teachers say and not to cause problems in the classroom. Not only will listening to your teachers make them happier, but it will make your parents happier, too.\\nIf you really struggle with listening to your teachers or think they are being completely unreasonable, then you should be as nice as you can to them and talk to your parents to discuss next steps.\\n2-2. Do as well as you can in school.\\nYou don’t need to get perfect grades to do well in school. However, you should make an effort to do as well as you can, to study for your exams, to do your homework, and to generally be a dedicated student. When you need help, come to your teachers or your parents for help, and make an effort to always improve. Good boys tend to do well in school, because they know that success in the classroom is important.\\nMake an effort to study for your exams well in advance so you get the best results.\\nWhat’s most important is that you respect the idea of education and come in to school on time and are happy to be there.\\n2-3. Be kind to your classmates.\\nIf you want to be a good boy, then you have to be nice to your classmates, whether you’re with your lab partner or talking to some kids on the bus to school. Treating other people with kindness and respect is one major way to be a good boy. Don’t put down students who don’t do as well in school as you or make fun of people for their clothes or their general appearance. Work to truly treat others as you’d like to be treated and you’ll be on your way to being a good boy.\\nYou may think that putting down other people will make you look better, but really, the best thing you can do is be friendly to everybody and most especially those who are being bullied by other students. In addition to feeling great about yourself, people like you and feel comfortable around you.\\nIf someone in class doesn’t know something, don’t make fun of that person and help him or her understand the material instead.\\nYou can also be friendly and provide a positive voice in non-academic situations such as when eating lunch in the cafeteria or peeing in the boys' bathroom.\\n2-4. Participate in class.\\nAnother way to be a good boy is to participate in class. This shows your teachers that you’re listening and that you care. When your teacher asks questions, you should make an effort to answer them while giving other people a chance to answer, too. If you’re interested in or confused by something, then you should ask your teacher questions when it’s appropriate. If you’re engaged in class and participate often, then you’ll be making learning more fun for yourself while being a good boy in the process.\\nIf your teacher asks for a volunteer, help her out by participating in whatever activity she has planned.\\nMake sure to participate in group work, too. You should always be active and engaged with the material.\\n2-5. Follow the rules.\\nIn order to be a good boy in school, you should avoid having conflicts with your teachers and your administrators. Follow all of the rules at your school, from any dress code rules you have to follow to coming to school on time and acting respectful in the school cafeteria. If you have broken a rule, be honest about it and apologize and show that you won’t do it again. If you want to be a good boy, then listening to the rules is important.\\nIf you want to be a good student, then it’s important to follow the rules in your school. You don’t want to develop a bad reputation with your teachers; if you do that, then it’ll be hard for them to take you seriously.\\n2-6. Don’t be arrogant.\\nGood boys don’t try to act like the smartest person in the room or question their teachers' authority for the sake of causing problems. Whether you’re hanging out with your friends during recess or listening to your teacher talk about George Washington, you should avoid acting like a know-it-all, or you’re likely to annoy the people around you. Though it’s important to be curious and to question things in order to reach your own conclusions, you shouldn’t show off or brag or act like you know more than other people if you want to be a good boy.\\nTrying to outsmart your teachers is one of the worst things you can do if you want them to like you. If you try these antics, they’ll be making a fast phone call to your parents.\\nOf course, if you have a legitimate concern, you can still bring it up to your teacher. Just make sure you do so in a respectful manner.\\nShowing off in front of your friends isn’t a good idea, either. They’ll quickly get tired of your act.\\n2-7. Be honest.\\nIt’s important to be honest if you want to be truly good in school and outside of it. If you’re in trouble for breaking the rules, then be honest about what you did instead of lying and trying to cover it up. When it comes to tests, you should avoid cheating or engaging in other dishonest behavior and work on getting good grades honestly, through studying and hard work. If you’re dishonest in school, then that will make you dishonest in other parts of your life and will lead you to not be a good boy.\\nThough it’s okay to tell an occasional white lie to save a person’s feelings (such as telling your friend you like his bad haircut), it’s important to have integrity when it comes to the important stuff. Make sure to tell your teachers and parents the truth, or you’ll make a lifelong bad habit.\\nIt’s not always easy to be honest. If you’re honest about something that is difficult to share, then you should be proud of yourself for opening up.\\n2-8. Be organized.\\nGood boys tend to be organized in school, so that they can focus on their studies without making a mess. Have an organized backpack, school and home desk, notebook, and anything else you use for school. Work on separating your school subjects by folder and always knowing where everything is. If you want to succeed in school and be a good boy, then it’s important to be on top of your organizational skills.\\nBeing organized goes hand in hand with being. Make sure that your desk at home, your desk at school, and your locker or backpack are neat and organized. Taking just 10-15 minutes a day to clean your things can help you stay on top of your studies.\\nIt is very helpful to keep a planner with all things you have to do and due dates.\\n3. Being a Good Boy with Others\\n3-1. Be respectful.\\nIf you want to be a good boy, then it’s important to treat other people with respect. Whether they are your parents’ friends or your dentist, it’s important to be nice and respectful to the people around you and to treat them with basic kindness. Respect their space, ask them how they’re doing, and avoid asking overly personal questions. Being respectful is an important quality of a good boy as well as a good man.\\nGood boys are respectful, especially of their elders. Make sure to treat people who are older than you with the utmost respect, even if you may disagree with them sometimes.\\nWhen you’re in public, make sure you’re not too loud and avoid not cleaning up your mess. A restaurant or movie theatre isn’t your bedroom, and you need to be aware of the people around you.\\n3-2. Be nice to your neighbors.\\nAnother way to be a good boy is to be nice to your neighbors. Avoid making too much noise, accidentally getting on their property, ignoring them, or generally not treating them kindly. Your parents will want you to be nice to them to help make a good impression for your family, and being nice to them will make your living situation much easier. Even if you feel like you don’t have a lot in common with them, it’s always important to be nice.\\nJust making polite small talk can make a big difference. When you see your neighbors, just say, “Hi, how are you?” You don’t have to get wrapped up in a long conversation with them, but take the time to acknowledge them.\\n3-3. Be kind to girls.\\nOne of the most important parts of being a good boy is treating girls with the kindness and respect they deserve. Be nice to them, make an effort to get to know them, and only tease them if you’re both being playful. Don’t ever make demeaning or nasty comments to a girl or make her feel bad about her looks or who she is. Even if the other boys around you aren’t mature enough to be nice to girls yet, it’s important that you break this mold and make an effort to treat them with care and kindness.\\nWhen you see a girl, be friendly and ask how she’s doing. You can even compliment her new haircut or a piece of jewelry she’s wearing.\\nIf you’re shy about talking to girls, you don’t have to force it. The more you talk to girls little by little, the more comfortable you’ll feel about opening up to them.\\n3-4. Be polite.\\nBeing polite is an important part of being a good boy. Being polite means treating others with kindness and respect, avoiding being vulgar, and showing a kind interest in people. It also means avoiding any offensive topics or being rude to the people you don’t like. While you don’t have to be best friends with everyone, it doesn’t take any effort to be polite, and it can help make your social situations easier.\\nBeing polite also means having good manners. Avoid burping in public and excuse yourself if you do. Don’t chew with your mouth full. Ask people how they’re doing when you see them. If you’re introduced to a new person, stand up to say hello. Let people pass in front of you instead of butting in in front of them.\\n3-5. Help out in your community.\\nIf you want to be a good boy, then you should work on volunteering in your community to help make the world a better place. You can volunteer with your parents, or jump on your bicycle to go by yourself or with some friends if you’re old enough to do that. You can help clean up a local park, help people learn to read at the library, or volunteer in a soup kitchen to help people have access to food. To be a good boy, you have to know that it’s about more than just being good at school or at home, but in the world at large.\\nMake an effort to give at least a few hours of your time to others a month, whether you’re volunteering through your school, church, or another community organization.\\nIf you help out with your parents, then this will also be a great bonding activity.\\n3-6. Spread your positive energy.\\nTo be a good boy out in the world, it’s important to spread your positive energy and to make the people around you feel happier and better about the world. You should avoid complaining or being overly negative and should work on talking about all of the good things in your life, smiling, and complimenting people instead of being negative or only focusing on the bad things in life. If you want to be a good boy, then you want to work on spreading good in the world.\\nWork on complimenting people instead of criticising them. It’s a better people to make people feel good about themselves than to put them down.\\nWork on smiling more often too. It’ll make you and the people around you feel happier.\\nWarnings\\nDo not resort to physical violence against a bully except when it is the only thing you can do to stop him from physically hurting you or someone else. Avoid taking this further than necessary.\\nTruth will win all the time. Never tell lies.\\nIf you are caught in a lie, the consequences will be worse than if you had told the truth.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good boy is not always easy, especially if you are having trouble being good at both home and school. The most important thing is that you treat your family members, teachers, and the people around you with kindness and respect. Being a good boy doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, but it does mean that you should show compassion and understanding toward others.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being a Good Boy at Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to your parents.\", \"描述\": \"The best thing you can do to be a good boy at home is to listen to what your parents tell you to do. If they ask you to help out, to turn down your music, or to join them for dinner with your aunt and uncle, then you should do as they say as much as possible. Of course, if their demands are completely unreasonable, then you should have a nice, open conversation with them, but as a rule of thumb, you can be a good boy and make your parents happy by listening to what they tell you to do.\\nIf your grandparents or other adults live in your home, then you should listen to them, too.\\nWhen your parents are talking to you, make sure you look them in the eye and that you put away your phone. Make them see that you really care.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Help out around the house.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good boy, then you should help clean up messes instead of creating them. Work to clean up after yourself, do your own laundry, and help your parents with daily tasks like throwing out the trash, taking the dog for a walk, wiping down the kitchen table, or anything else that you can do to lighten the load. If you have required chores, then you should do them without grumbling and even go above and beyond when it comes to housework.\\nYou shouldn’t have to ask if you need to help or what you can do. Instead, be observant and look around to see what really needs to be cleaned up or fixed, from a sink of overflowing dishes to a hamper of clean laundry that needs to be folded.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respect your siblings.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be a good boy is to be nice to your siblings, whether they are older or younger. If you’re the older sibling, you should serve a role model for your siblings and should help them grow more mature and reasonable as they get older. If you’re a younger sibling, then you should be nice and avoid taunting or teasing your older siblings too much and let them have their own space. Being a good sibling is an important part of being a good boy, and you should try to get along with your siblings as much as you can.\\nYou should also help your parents out by spending time with your siblings so they don’t always have to watch over them. If your siblings are upset, help them sort their problems out when you can so your parents can have some time to themselves.\\nAvoiding fights with your siblings will help you be a good boy because you’ll be helping make things easier around the house.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Obey the rules.\", \"描述\": \"Another thing you can do to be a good boy is to obey the rules your parents have set forward. This can mean sticking to your curfew, waking up at a certain time, doing the chores you were meant to do, cleaning up after yourself, only spending a certain amount of time on your phone or computer, and so on. If you want to be a good boy, then you should obey the rules you are given and only question them if you really think you need to talk to your parents about it.\\nDisregarding your parents’ rules shows them that you don’t respect or care for them as much as you could. You have to show them how much you appreciate their parenting by listening to them.\\nIf you have siblings, it's important to follow your parents’ rules so that you set a good example for your brother or sister.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apologize when you have made a mistake.\", \"描述\": \"Being a good boy doesn’t mean being perfect all the time. It does, however, mean that you should apologize when you feel like you’ve made a mistake. If you want to be a good boy, then you have to learn when you have done something wrong and be ready to admit it. To truly apologize, look your parents and siblings in the eyes and give them a sincere and honest apology to show that you’ve put a lot of thought into what you’ve done and that you won’t do it again.\\nDon’t just say you’re sorry while you’re doing something else or heading out the door. Take the time to sit down with your parents and take the time to let them know you really messed up.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make your parents’ lives easier.\", \"描述\": \"The best thing you can do as a good boy is to make your parents’ lives easier. This can mean doing extra chores when you’re not asked, being extra obedient on days when you can see that your parents are extra tired, spending time with your siblings to give your parents more time off, or even giving your parents space when they’re tired and want to lie down. Most parents are overwhelmed by their parenting duties, and if you try to make their lives easier instead of creating problems, then they will be grateful to you for it.\\nAs you get older, you can help them run more errands, like picking up a few groceries, washing the car at home, shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, or helping get your younger siblings ready for school. If you are good at snow shoveling, you can even make legitimate money by doing it for your neighbors.\\nIf you see that your parents come home upset, try helping cook dinner or ask if you can pick up some pizza to make things easier.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Learn more skills to help out around the house.\", \"描述\": \"You may think that there’s only so much you can do because you’re too young to really help out, but you can always learn more ways to help. If your parents do your laundry or wash your dishes for you, learn to do it yourself. If your parents always take care of the dog or cat, you should learn when they need to be fed and when to take out the dog. You can even learn to cook simple things, or to make yourself sandwiches for lunch so your parents don’t have to do it.\\nDon’t think that you can’t really help because you’re too young; instead, be a good boy and always look out for new ways to help out.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Find hobbies that help you improve yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be a good boy is to work on becoming a smarter, more interesting person. This can mean spending more time reading and writing, teaching yourself a foreign language, learning a skill such as soccer or playing guitar, and generally caring about self-improvement. Though watching TV or playing games online can make for a fun break, you should attempt to grow as a person as much as you can if you want to be a good boy.\\nPart of being a good boy means becoming more mature and growing as a person. Learning new skills and educating yourself can help you become a more thoughtful, well-rounded individual.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don’t disobey your parents in public.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be a good boy is to make sure to listen to your parents in public. Avoid contradicting them, ignoring them, openly disregarding their rules, throwing tantrums, or doing anything that would make them feel embarrassed and disappointed in you. If you disagree with them about something, bring it up later, when you’re alone at home, so you can have a productive conversation with them instead of throwing a fit.\\nEven if you really, really want something your parents won’t give you right then, you should avoid embarrassing or making them feel bad. This will make them upset and can hurt your relationship with them. Instead, do the mature thing and avoid throwing a tantrum and ask if you can talk about it later.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being a Good Boy at School\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to your teachers.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to be a good boy is to listen to your teachers. You should respect them and recognize that they’re just people, too, and that it’s rude and unkind to ignore them, be mean to them, or question their authority. Pay attention, stay calm, and show that you are engaged in whet they are saying. Make an effort to do as your teachers say and not to cause problems in the classroom. Not only will listening to your teachers make them happier, but it will make your parents happier, too.\\nIf you really struggle with listening to your teachers or think they are being completely unreasonable, then you should be as nice as you can to them and talk to your parents to discuss next steps.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do as well as you can in school.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to get perfect grades to do well in school. However, you should make an effort to do as well as you can, to study for your exams, to do your homework, and to generally be a dedicated student. When you need help, come to your teachers or your parents for help, and make an effort to always improve. Good boys tend to do well in school, because they know that success in the classroom is important.\\nMake an effort to study for your exams well in advance so you get the best results.\\nWhat’s most important is that you respect the idea of education and come in to school on time and are happy to be there.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be kind to your classmates.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good boy, then you have to be nice to your classmates, whether you’re with your lab partner or talking to some kids on the bus to school. Treating other people with kindness and respect is one major way to be a good boy. Don’t put down students who don’t do as well in school as you or make fun of people for their clothes or their general appearance. Work to truly treat others as you’d like to be treated and you’ll be on your way to being a good boy.\\nYou may think that putting down other people will make you look better, but really, the best thing you can do is be friendly to everybody and most especially those who are being bullied by other students. In addition to feeling great about yourself, people like you and feel comfortable around you.\\nIf someone in class doesn’t know something, don’t make fun of that person and help him or her understand the material instead.\\nYou can also be friendly and provide a positive voice in non-academic situations such as when eating lunch in the cafeteria or peeing in the boys' bathroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Participate in class.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be a good boy is to participate in class. This shows your teachers that you’re listening and that you care. When your teacher asks questions, you should make an effort to answer them while giving other people a chance to answer, too. If you’re interested in or confused by something, then you should ask your teacher questions when it’s appropriate. If you’re engaged in class and participate often, then you’ll be making learning more fun for yourself while being a good boy in the process.\\nIf your teacher asks for a volunteer, help her out by participating in whatever activity she has planned.\\nMake sure to participate in group work, too. You should always be active and engaged with the material.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Follow the rules.\", \"描述\": \"In order to be a good boy in school, you should avoid having conflicts with your teachers and your administrators. Follow all of the rules at your school, from any dress code rules you have to follow to coming to school on time and acting respectful in the school cafeteria. If you have broken a rule, be honest about it and apologize and show that you won’t do it again. If you want to be a good boy, then listening to the rules is important.\\nIf you want to be a good student, then it’s important to follow the rules in your school. You don’t want to develop a bad reputation with your teachers; if you do that, then it’ll be hard for them to take you seriously.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t be arrogant.\", \"描述\": \"Good boys don’t try to act like the smartest person in the room or question their teachers' authority for the sake of causing problems. Whether you’re hanging out with your friends during recess or listening to your teacher talk about George Washington, you should avoid acting like a know-it-all, or you’re likely to annoy the people around you. Though it’s important to be curious and to question things in order to reach your own conclusions, you shouldn’t show off or brag or act like you know more than other people if you want to be a good boy.\\nTrying to outsmart your teachers is one of the worst things you can do if you want them to like you. If you try these antics, they’ll be making a fast phone call to your parents.\\nOf course, if you have a legitimate concern, you can still bring it up to your teacher. Just make sure you do so in a respectful manner.\\nShowing off in front of your friends isn’t a good idea, either. They’ll quickly get tired of your act.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be honest.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to be honest if you want to be truly good in school and outside of it. If you’re in trouble for breaking the rules, then be honest about what you did instead of lying and trying to cover it up. When it comes to tests, you should avoid cheating or engaging in other dishonest behavior and work on getting good grades honestly, through studying and hard work. If you’re dishonest in school, then that will make you dishonest in other parts of your life and will lead you to not be a good boy.\\nThough it’s okay to tell an occasional white lie to save a person’s feelings (such as telling your friend you like his bad haircut), it’s important to have integrity when it comes to the important stuff. Make sure to tell your teachers and parents the truth, or you’ll make a lifelong bad habit.\\nIt’s not always easy to be honest. If you’re honest about something that is difficult to share, then you should be proud of yourself for opening up.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be organized.\", \"描述\": \"Good boys tend to be organized in school, so that they can focus on their studies without making a mess. Have an organized backpack, school and home desk, notebook, and anything else you use for school. Work on separating your school subjects by folder and always knowing where everything is. If you want to succeed in school and be a good boy, then it’s important to be on top of your organizational skills.\\nBeing organized goes hand in hand with being. Make sure that your desk at home, your desk at school, and your locker or backpack are neat and organized. Taking just 10-15 minutes a day to clean your things can help you stay on top of your studies.\\nIt is very helpful to keep a planner with all things you have to do and due dates.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being a Good Boy with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good boy, then it’s important to treat other people with respect. Whether they are your parents’ friends or your dentist, it’s important to be nice and respectful to the people around you and to treat them with basic kindness. Respect their space, ask them how they’re doing, and avoid asking overly personal questions. Being respectful is an important quality of a good boy as well as a good man.\\nGood boys are respectful, especially of their elders. Make sure to treat people who are older than you with the utmost respect, even if you may disagree with them sometimes.\\nWhen you’re in public, make sure you’re not too loud and avoid not cleaning up your mess. A restaurant or movie theatre isn’t your bedroom, and you need to be aware of the people around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be nice to your neighbors.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be a good boy is to be nice to your neighbors. Avoid making too much noise, accidentally getting on their property, ignoring them, or generally not treating them kindly. Your parents will want you to be nice to them to help make a good impression for your family, and being nice to them will make your living situation much easier. Even if you feel like you don’t have a lot in common with them, it’s always important to be nice.\\nJust making polite small talk can make a big difference. When you see your neighbors, just say, “Hi, how are you?” You don’t have to get wrapped up in a long conversation with them, but take the time to acknowledge them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be kind to girls.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most important parts of being a good boy is treating girls with the kindness and respect they deserve. Be nice to them, make an effort to get to know them, and only tease them if you’re both being playful. Don’t ever make demeaning or nasty comments to a girl or make her feel bad about her looks or who she is. Even if the other boys around you aren’t mature enough to be nice to girls yet, it’s important that you break this mold and make an effort to treat them with care and kindness.\\nWhen you see a girl, be friendly and ask how she’s doing. You can even compliment her new haircut or a piece of jewelry she’s wearing.\\nIf you’re shy about talking to girls, you don’t have to force it. The more you talk to girls little by little, the more comfortable you’ll feel about opening up to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be polite.\", \"描述\": \"Being polite is an important part of being a good boy. Being polite means treating others with kindness and respect, avoiding being vulgar, and showing a kind interest in people. It also means avoiding any offensive topics or being rude to the people you don’t like. While you don’t have to be best friends with everyone, it doesn’t take any effort to be polite, and it can help make your social situations easier.\\nBeing polite also means having good manners. Avoid burping in public and excuse yourself if you do. Don’t chew with your mouth full. Ask people how they’re doing when you see them. If you’re introduced to a new person, stand up to say hello. Let people pass in front of you instead of butting in in front of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Help out in your community.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good boy, then you should work on volunteering in your community to help make the world a better place. You can volunteer with your parents, or jump on your bicycle to go by yourself or with some friends if you’re old enough to do that. You can help clean up a local park, help people learn to read at the library, or volunteer in a soup kitchen to help people have access to food. To be a good boy, you have to know that it’s about more than just being good at school or at home, but in the world at large.\\nMake an effort to give at least a few hours of your time to others a month, whether you’re volunteering through your school, church, or another community organization.\\nIf you help out with your parents, then this will also be a great bonding activity.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Spread your positive energy.\", \"描述\": \"To be a good boy out in the world, it’s important to spread your positive energy and to make the people around you feel happier and better about the world. You should avoid complaining or being overly negative and should work on talking about all of the good things in your life, smiling, and complimenting people instead of being negative or only focusing on the bad things in life. If you want to be a good boy, then you want to work on spreading good in the world.\\nWork on complimenting people instead of criticising them. It’s a better people to make people feel good about themselves than to put them down.\\nWork on smiling more often too. It’ll make you and the people around you feel happier.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not resort to physical violence against a bully except when it is the only thing you can do to stop him from physically hurting you or someone else. Avoid taking this further than necessary.\\n\", \"Truth will win all the time. Never tell lies.\\n\", \"If you are caught in a lie, the consequences will be worse than if you had told the truth.\\n\"]}]}}",
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wikihow
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How to Be a Good Boyfriend
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1. Expressing and Sharing Feelings
1-1. Be honest.
In any relationship, and with only very rare exceptions, honesty is the best policy. If you're honest from the beginning of your relationship, then you'll be less likely to run into trouble down the line.
You should tell them what they need to know without overwhelming them with the truth. For example, if you had a serious past relationship, you can let them know without revealing every little detail about your ex.
Temper your honesty with kindness. Don't feel as if you have to make every response seem like a compliment. Instead, offer an alternative. For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on, let her know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favorite so far because it shows off their great eyes and their stunning personality.
You should not only be comfortable with being honest, but you should be accepting of their honesty as well. If you want to be a good boyfriend, you should be able to handle the truth.
1-2. Trust them.
Trust your partner and give them reason to trust you. Trust should form the foundation of your relationship. This will allow you to create a more open relationship toward each other, as well as creating a very good understanding in what your mate wants, feels, and needs.
You can show that you trust your partner by telling them something that a lot of people don't know about you.
You can secure their trust in you by showing that you care and are concerned if they tell you something personal and important to them.
1-3. Contribute equally to conversations.
When you talk, try to seek some amount of balance in the flow of conversation. If you're too quiet, they may think you're losing interest in them. If you're too talkative, they may think you're self-obsessed or plain impolite.
Conversations are about give and take. The same is true for relationships. They never succeed when they're one-sided.
Obviously, there will be occasions when you do talk a lot (such as when something exciting or important happens) or when you retreat a bit (such as when something bad happens). On the whole, though, aim for a balance of conversation.
1-4. Be a good listener.
Instead of thinking about the next thing you want to say, or something else entirely, focus on listening to them. Think about what they are saying. Always seem interested and fully engaged in their presence.
Remember, a conversation with your partner isn't just acknowledging, it's also about remembering. If your partner is telling you about an important experience, make a mental note of it.
If they've told you something twice before and you have no idea what they're talking about because you weren't really listening, they"ll know and they won't be happy about it.
"Listen" to their non-verbal "conversations" as well. Learn to tell when something is bothering them even when they won't say it. What does their expression, their body language, or even the way they keep twirling their hair tell you?
1-5. Learn to compromise.
Compromise is a big part of successful communication. If you and your partner can't disagree without getting into a big fight or without one person immediately giving in to the needs of the other, then you have a problem. To be good at compromising, you should be able to talk about your needs and wants while understanding where your partner is coming from, instead of ignoring their side of the story.
After you and your partner discuss your thoughts on a certain situation, you can work together to make a pros and cons list, and decide what will be best for both of you.
Sometimes, you and your partner will have to give in to one another. That's okay, as long as you're taking turns. If they pick the movie for date night, for example, you should pick the dinner location and where to go for dessert afterward.
Part of learning to compromise is using a calm, even voice when you have a disagreement. Never yell, swear, or (under any circumstances, ever) hit them, no matter how angry you become. Walk away for awhile if you have to, and come back when you can talk rationally.
1-6. Be supportive.
You can show support by being available, listening attentively, and showing interest in the things they tell you. When you spend time together, make an effort to be present and attentive to their needs. By being supportive, you'll help to strengthen the sense of security and reciprocity in the relationship. And if you support their goals and dreams, then they'll support yours in turn.
Be there when they have to study for a big exam or finish college applications, or when they're stressed about anything else that can affect their future.
If they're having a busy week or month, you should be there to help them out by doing small favors, like picking up lunch or giving them a ride to class, to make their days easier.
1-7. Be sympathetic.
If it means something to them, it should mean something to you. It doesn't matter that you wouldn't be interested in the issue if it weren't for them––a relationship is about sharing experiences and being supportive. When they're upset, try to put yourself in their shoes and understand where they're coming from. Don't just dismiss their feelings because you think it's "not that big of a deal."
Always confirm that you are listening and sound sincere when you comfort them. If you don't feel like you are genuinely sorry, try to change the way you think. Think about things from their perspective.
Sometimes, they may just want to cry and to be comforted. Don't try to fix their problems right away. Instead, wait for them to deal with all of their emotions before being practical. If they're upset, it's important to ask, "Do you want to talk about it?" Make them see that you really care. And if they're not ready to talk about it yet, don't pry.
2. Showing Affection
2-1. Show affection often.
Show your partner that you love them by being affectionate. Small touches, hugs, a kiss, and maybe a little public display of affection (PDA) are just some of the ways of connecting through affection.
Don't overdo it––you don't want to make them uncomfortable. Remember to read their signs, and if they're not in the mood, don't kiss them.
Many times, even a light touch is appreciated. If your partner is a romantic, upon seeing them for the first time in a couple of days, say, "I missed you..." and weave your arms around their hips then give them a loving hug.
Depending on their preferences, also try giving a light kiss on their lips/cheek/forehead/neck just to show that you really appreciate their presence. Or just kiss their hand by clasping and bringing it up to your lips.
If you're not sure how your partner feels about public displays of affection, be discreet at first. Believe it or not, not every person is into holding hands.
2-2. Appreciate their beauty.
Give them extra compliments when they make extra efforts to look beautiful, but also make sure they know they can relax and be themself with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. You should let them know that they look pretty whether they've spent an hour getting ready or if they've just woken up.
If they get a new haircut or a new outfit, let them see that you've noticed and let them know that they look amazing.
Truly appreciating someone's looks isn't as superficial as it may seem, though. When you truly care about someone, they will look beautiful to you no matter the situation. When you feel this way about your partner, let them know.
2-3. Compliment them sincerely.
You should compliment your partner as often as you can without making them feel smothered. Compliment them not only on how they look, but on how they are. That way, they'll know that you care about their appearance and what's on the inside. They are more likely to be confident about themself when you give them reasons to be confident through your compliments.
Go beyond the ordinary statements. For example, don't just say, "You look nice." Instead, say "That really makes your eyes shine," or "Your haircut really suits the shape of your face." The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.
Even small, seemingly silly compliments can be meaningful. Saying things like "you really have beautiful handwriting" or "you're awesome at parallel parking" can be confidence-builders, when spoken with sincerity. The also show that you are paying attention to them.
2-4. Give gifts, at special times and anytime.
No healthy relationship can survive on gifts alone, no matter how fancy or expensive they are. However, giving gifts thoughtfully and purposefully can provide lasting demonstrations your interest, attentiveness, and affection.
Put thought into a birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, or anniversary gift, and other special occasions. Choose a gift that is reasonable and thoughtful; it doesn't need to be expensive, just considerate of who they are and their likes.
Think of special touches, like adding their name to a necklace, or a pendant representing something they care about, such as a snowflake if they love to ski or a musical note if they love to play an instrument, etc.
Notice their interests when you're out together. They might make mention of something they like in a shop window, or something they wish they could try, like going for a horse ride. Don't just think of tangible items––experience gifts can be far more exciting and fun than a list of things.
Sometimes, get them a gift "just because." Pick something up out of the blue now and then and give it to them just because your were "thinking of them". This sort of gift has great impact because it's so unexpected and delightful.
2-5. Sprinkle your relationship with doses of spontaneity.
While familiarity is one of the most comforting aspects of a relationship, try not to fall into a rut of always doing the same things. While you probably have one or two regular things you enjoy doing together, avoid making the regular the only things you do.
Instead, try visiting new places, giving new activities a go and going to different parts of town. Even if the new activities don't turn out the way you'd hoped, at least you've shared the experience and are getting to know one another even better.
By mixing things up, you keep the excitement in your relationship and make your outings together refreshing. You are also creating memories together that will endure well beyond the experiences.
Surprise your partner by doing something offbeat now and then -- this could include anything from racing your partner to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of Lego bricks and encouraging them to build something that represents the two of you.
Take a surprise trip. You can pick a location in advance and just tell them what to pack without saying where you're going. Of course, use your best judgment about their preferences. Perhaps they'll love the mystery and excitement of going to an unknown location, perhaps not.
If they've mentioned the fact that they've never checked out a national park or quirky town not too far from where you live, take them there without telling them where you're going. They'll love the spontaneity and the fact that you took the time to listen to them.
2-6. Take care of yourself.
Let your partner feel like they are needed, helpful, and appreciated, but don't be overly needy or dependent. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not taking responsibility for yourself.
Take pride in your appearance, and in how you present yourself to the world. Making yourself look good (both in actual appearance and, more importantly, by how you conduct yourself) makes them look good too, and they will appreciate that.
They won't have fun in the relationship if they feel like they're always nagging you to do one thing or another. They want to take care of you, but they don't want to be your mother.
2-7. Give them (and yourself) some individual space.
Just because they your significant other, it doesn't mean they are yours, implying some kind of ownership. You don't have to be attached at the hip to have a great relationship. In fact, if you let them pursue their own interests without checking in every five seconds, they'll like you even more.
Find a balance that lets you both spend some time alone, spend time with your individual friends, and spend time with each other.
Spending time with your separate friends will make you appreciate each other even more when you see each other again.
Maintaining different social schedules will also give you something to "report back" when you are together again.
Maintain some separate interests as well. Keep up your hobbies, sports and other interests that you had before each of you met. Though it'll be great to find an activity that you both like together, you shouldn't force them to watch football with you if they don't want to, and you shouldn't have to go to yoga with them unless it's something you want to try.
Maintaining your separate interests will help you maintain a sense of individuality, and to grow separately so that you can grow together in love and have a perfect relationship in the end.
Tips
Be yourself! That's why your partner is with you.
Talk to them regularly. Text them, call them, let them know that you care!
Don't be too clingy. It may be annoying for them if you kiss or hug them all the time. Be sure to give them some room to breathe as well.
Warnings
Never tell them about something you almost did for them and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying "I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind" or "I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea." They will not think you were thoughtful––she will think you decided they weren't worth it.
Do not say or do things you'll regret, because you'll be in a very bad situation. If you know you are going to explode and say some regrettable things to them, the best thing to do is leave them alone. Then, text them in a couple of hours to see if they're alright and talk to them.
Don't be too clingy. They want their personal space just as much as you do. If they want to hang out with their friends or do something other than hanging out with you, let them.
Never hold their family's actions against them. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with them that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.
If your partner sees you doing something that can be easily misinterpreted in a bad way, don't say "This isn't what you think" or "This isn't what it looks like." Hold their hand (they will usually try to pull away) then look their in the eye and tell them you love them, and that they are the only one for you, and then explain that it really wasn't what it looked like.
When they're angry, NEVER shout back at them! Calm them down and address the situation in a civil manner. This will keep everything under control and will help you to sort out the problems with less conflict.
Don't embarrass them. Most people get embarrassed if you talk about undergarments, hygiene, making love, and so forth, in public. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to them, they may be something they don't want to talk about in public. Also, never tell a funny story about them without their consent, especially if they try to stop you, do not continue. This will hurt their feelings, as it shows them that impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than them not having to feel stupid.
Never force them into doing things like sex and other sexual acts and respect their boundaries. If you want to have sex, ask them first and if they say no, respect their wishes. Having sex with someone against their will is rape and is a criminal offence. It could land you in prison for life. Also, never feel pressured into doing it. You're ready when you're ready, and that time is different for everyone.
Never get into an abusive relationship, whether you're the one being abused or you're abusing them. An abusive relationship is when one person has an unhealthy amount of control over the other in a relationship. The abuser does this in several different ways, including physically harming the other person (violence) and controlling what the other person wears, says and where he/she goes. This is a criminal offence and if this is the case then the relationship is toxic. Leave the relationship and if they are putting you in danger, call the police. Remember that girls can abuse guys as well. If you are the one abusing them, you should also leave the relationship and apologise to them. If you are abusing them, then clearly you are not ready for a relationship.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Expressing and Sharing Feelings\\n1-1. Be honest.\\nIn any relationship, and with only very rare exceptions, honesty is the best policy. If you're honest from the beginning of your relationship, then you'll be less likely to run into trouble down the line.\\nYou should tell them what they need to know without overwhelming them with the truth. For example, if you had a serious past relationship, you can let them know without revealing every little detail about your ex.\\nTemper your honesty with kindness. Don't feel as if you have to make every response seem like a compliment. Instead, offer an alternative. For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on, let her know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favorite so far because it shows off their great eyes and their stunning personality.\\nYou should not only be comfortable with being honest, but you should be accepting of their honesty as well. If you want to be a good boyfriend, you should be able to handle the truth.\\n1-2. Trust them.\\nTrust your partner and give them reason to trust you. Trust should form the foundation of your relationship. This will allow you to create a more open relationship toward each other, as well as creating a very good understanding in what your mate wants, feels, and needs.\\nYou can show that you trust your partner by telling them something that a lot of people don't know about you.\\nYou can secure their trust in you by showing that you care and are concerned if they tell you something personal and important to them.\\n1-3. Contribute equally to conversations.\\nWhen you talk, try to seek some amount of balance in the flow of conversation. If you're too quiet, they may think you're losing interest in them. If you're too talkative, they may think you're self-obsessed or plain impolite.\\nConversations are about give and take. The same is true for relationships. They never succeed when they're one-sided.\\nObviously, there will be occasions when you do talk a lot (such as when something exciting or important happens) or when you retreat a bit (such as when something bad happens). On the whole, though, aim for a balance of conversation.\\n1-4. Be a good listener.\\nInstead of thinking about the next thing you want to say, or something else entirely, focus on listening to them. Think about what they are saying. Always seem interested and fully engaged in their presence.\\nRemember, a conversation with your partner isn't just acknowledging, it's also about remembering. If your partner is telling you about an important experience, make a mental note of it.\\nIf they've told you something twice before and you have no idea what they're talking about because you weren't really listening, they\\\"ll know and they won't be happy about it.\\n\\\"Listen\\\" to their non-verbal \\\"conversations\\\" as well. Learn to tell when something is bothering them even when they won't say it. What does their expression, their body language, or even the way they keep twirling their hair tell you?\\n1-5. Learn to compromise.\\nCompromise is a big part of successful communication. If you and your partner can't disagree without getting into a big fight or without one person immediately giving in to the needs of the other, then you have a problem. To be good at compromising, you should be able to talk about your needs and wants while understanding where your partner is coming from, instead of ignoring their side of the story.\\nAfter you and your partner discuss your thoughts on a certain situation, you can work together to make a pros and cons list, and decide what will be best for both of you.\\nSometimes, you and your partner will have to give in to one another. That's okay, as long as you're taking turns. If they pick the movie for date night, for example, you should pick the dinner location and where to go for dessert afterward.\\nPart of learning to compromise is using a calm, even voice when you have a disagreement. Never yell, swear, or (under any circumstances, ever) hit them, no matter how angry you become. Walk away for awhile if you have to, and come back when you can talk rationally.\\n1-6. Be supportive.\\nYou can show support by being available, listening attentively, and showing interest in the things they tell you. When you spend time together, make an effort to be present and attentive to their needs. By being supportive, you'll help to strengthen the sense of security and reciprocity in the relationship. And if you support their goals and dreams, then they'll support yours in turn.\\nBe there when they have to study for a big exam or finish college applications, or when they're stressed about anything else that can affect their future.\\nIf they're having a busy week or month, you should be there to help them out by doing small favors, like picking up lunch or giving them a ride to class, to make their days easier.\\n1-7. Be sympathetic.\\nIf it means something to them, it should mean something to you. It doesn't matter that you wouldn't be interested in the issue if it weren't for them––a relationship is about sharing experiences and being supportive. When they're upset, try to put yourself in their shoes and understand where they're coming from. Don't just dismiss their feelings because you think it's \\\"not that big of a deal.\\\"\\nAlways confirm that you are listening and sound sincere when you comfort them. If you don't feel like you are genuinely sorry, try to change the way you think. Think about things from their perspective.\\nSometimes, they may just want to cry and to be comforted. Don't try to fix their problems right away. Instead, wait for them to deal with all of their emotions before being practical. If they're upset, it's important to ask, \\\"Do you want to talk about it?\\\" Make them see that you really care. And if they're not ready to talk about it yet, don't pry.\\n2. Showing Affection\\n2-1. Show affection often.\\nShow your partner that you love them by being affectionate. Small touches, hugs, a kiss, and maybe a little public display of affection (PDA) are just some of the ways of connecting through affection.\\nDon't overdo it––you don't want to make them uncomfortable. Remember to read their signs, and if they're not in the mood, don't kiss them.\\nMany times, even a light touch is appreciated. If your partner is a romantic, upon seeing them for the first time in a couple of days, say, \\\"I missed you...\\\" and weave your arms around their hips then give them a loving hug.\\nDepending on their preferences, also try giving a light kiss on their lips/cheek/forehead/neck just to show that you really appreciate their presence. Or just kiss their hand by clasping and bringing it up to your lips.\\nIf you're not sure how your partner feels about public displays of affection, be discreet at first. Believe it or not, not every person is into holding hands.\\n2-2. Appreciate their beauty.\\nGive them extra compliments when they make extra efforts to look beautiful, but also make sure they know they can relax and be themself with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. You should let them know that they look pretty whether they've spent an hour getting ready or if they've just woken up.\\nIf they get a new haircut or a new outfit, let them see that you've noticed and let them know that they look amazing.\\nTruly appreciating someone's looks isn't as superficial as it may seem, though. When you truly care about someone, they will look beautiful to you no matter the situation. When you feel this way about your partner, let them know.\\n2-3. Compliment them sincerely.\\nYou should compliment your partner as often as you can without making them feel smothered. Compliment them not only on how they look, but on how they are. That way, they'll know that you care about their appearance and what's on the inside. They are more likely to be confident about themself when you give them reasons to be confident through your compliments.\\nGo beyond the ordinary statements. For example, don't just say, \\\"You look nice.\\\" Instead, say \\\"That really makes your eyes shine,\\\" or \\\"Your haircut really suits the shape of your face.\\\" The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.\\nEven small, seemingly silly compliments can be meaningful. Saying things like \\\"you really have beautiful handwriting\\\" or \\\"you're awesome at parallel parking\\\" can be confidence-builders, when spoken with sincerity. The also show that you are paying attention to them.\\n2-4. Give gifts, at special times and anytime.\\nNo healthy relationship can survive on gifts alone, no matter how fancy or expensive they are. However, giving gifts thoughtfully and purposefully can provide lasting demonstrations your interest, attentiveness, and affection.\\nPut thought into a birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, or anniversary gift, and other special occasions. Choose a gift that is reasonable and thoughtful; it doesn't need to be expensive, just considerate of who they are and their likes.\\nThink of special touches, like adding their name to a necklace, or a pendant representing something they care about, such as a snowflake if they love to ski or a musical note if they love to play an instrument, etc.\\nNotice their interests when you're out together. They might make mention of something they like in a shop window, or something they wish they could try, like going for a horse ride. Don't just think of tangible items––experience gifts can be far more exciting and fun than a list of things.\\nSometimes, get them a gift \\\"just because.\\\" Pick something up out of the blue now and then and give it to them just because your were \\\"thinking of them\\\". This sort of gift has great impact because it's so unexpected and delightful.\\n2-5. Sprinkle your relationship with doses of spontaneity.\\nWhile familiarity is one of the most comforting aspects of a relationship, try not to fall into a rut of always doing the same things. While you probably have one or two regular things you enjoy doing together, avoid making the regular the only things you do.\\nInstead, try visiting new places, giving new activities a go and going to different parts of town. Even if the new activities don't turn out the way you'd hoped, at least you've shared the experience and are getting to know one another even better.\\nBy mixing things up, you keep the excitement in your relationship and make your outings together refreshing. You are also creating memories together that will endure well beyond the experiences.\\nSurprise your partner by doing something offbeat now and then -- this could include anything from racing your partner to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of Lego bricks and encouraging them to build something that represents the two of you.\\nTake a surprise trip. You can pick a location in advance and just tell them what to pack without saying where you're going. Of course, use your best judgment about their preferences. Perhaps they'll love the mystery and excitement of going to an unknown location, perhaps not.\\nIf they've mentioned the fact that they've never checked out a national park or quirky town not too far from where you live, take them there without telling them where you're going. They'll love the spontaneity and the fact that you took the time to listen to them.\\n2-6. Take care of yourself.\\nLet your partner feel like they are needed, helpful, and appreciated, but don't be overly needy or dependent. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not taking responsibility for yourself.\\nTake pride in your appearance, and in how you present yourself to the world. Making yourself look good (both in actual appearance and, more importantly, by how you conduct yourself) makes them look good too, and they will appreciate that.\\nThey won't have fun in the relationship if they feel like they're always nagging you to do one thing or another. They want to take care of you, but they don't want to be your mother.\\n2-7. Give them (and yourself) some individual space.\\nJust because they your significant other, it doesn't mean they are yours, implying some kind of ownership. You don't have to be attached at the hip to have a great relationship. In fact, if you let them pursue their own interests without checking in every five seconds, they'll like you even more.\\nFind a balance that lets you both spend some time alone, spend time with your individual friends, and spend time with each other.\\nSpending time with your separate friends will make you appreciate each other even more when you see each other again.\\nMaintaining different social schedules will also give you something to \\\"report back\\\" when you are together again.\\nMaintain some separate interests as well. Keep up your hobbies, sports and other interests that you had before each of you met. Though it'll be great to find an activity that you both like together, you shouldn't force them to watch football with you if they don't want to, and you shouldn't have to go to yoga with them unless it's something you want to try.\\nMaintaining your separate interests will help you maintain a sense of individuality, and to grow separately so that you can grow together in love and have a perfect relationship in the end.\\nTips\\nBe yourself! That's why your partner is with you.\\nTalk to them regularly. Text them, call them, let them know that you care!\\nDon't be too clingy. It may be annoying for them if you kiss or hug them all the time. Be sure to give them some room to breathe as well.\\nWarnings\\nNever tell them about something you almost did for them and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying \\\"I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind\\\" or \\\"I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea.\\\" They will not think you were thoughtful––she will think you decided they weren't worth it.\\nDo not say or do things you'll regret, because you'll be in a very bad situation. If you know you are going to explode and say some regrettable things to them, the best thing to do is leave them alone. Then, text them in a couple of hours to see if they're alright and talk to them.\\nDon't be too clingy. They want their personal space just as much as you do. If they want to hang out with their friends or do something other than hanging out with you, let them.\\nNever hold their family's actions against them. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with them that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.\\nIf your partner sees you doing something that can be easily misinterpreted in a bad way, don't say \\\"This isn't what you think\\\" or \\\"This isn't what it looks like.\\\" Hold their hand (they will usually try to pull away) then look their in the eye and tell them you love them, and that they are the only one for you, and then explain that it really wasn't what it looked like.\\nWhen they're angry, NEVER shout back at them! Calm them down and address the situation in a civil manner. This will keep everything under control and will help you to sort out the problems with less conflict.\\nDon't embarrass them. Most people get embarrassed if you talk about undergarments, hygiene, making love, and so forth, in public. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to them, they may be something they don't want to talk about in public. Also, never tell a funny story about them without their consent, especially if they try to stop you, do not continue. This will hurt their feelings, as it shows them that impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than them not having to feel stupid.\\nNever force them into doing things like sex and other sexual acts and respect their boundaries. If you want to have sex, ask them first and if they say no, respect their wishes. Having sex with someone against their will is rape and is a criminal offence. It could land you in prison for life. Also, never feel pressured into doing it. You're ready when you're ready, and that time is different for everyone.\\nNever get into an abusive relationship, whether you're the one being abused or you're abusing them. An abusive relationship is when one person has an unhealthy amount of control over the other in a relationship. The abuser does this in several different ways, including physically harming the other person (violence) and controlling what the other person wears, says and where he/she goes. This is a criminal offence and if this is the case then the relationship is toxic. Leave the relationship and if they are putting you in danger, call the police. Remember that girls can abuse guys as well. If you are the one abusing them, you should also leave the relationship and apologise to them. If you are abusing them, then clearly you are not ready for a relationship.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good boyfriend isn't always easy, even if you have an amazing partner. A good boyfriend knows when to talk, and when to listen; when to offer advice, and when to offer empathy; when to shower them with attention, and when to give her some space. You need to be someone they can trust and admire, and even someone who makes them want to be a better partner. A good boyfriend adapts to the situation, and knows the job is never finished.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Expressing and Sharing Feelings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be honest.\", \"描述\": \"In any relationship, and with only very rare exceptions, honesty is the best policy. If you're honest from the beginning of your relationship, then you'll be less likely to run into trouble down the line.\\nYou should tell them what they need to know without overwhelming them with the truth. For example, if you had a serious past relationship, you can let them know without revealing every little detail about your ex.\\nTemper your honesty with kindness. Don't feel as if you have to make every response seem like a compliment. Instead, offer an alternative. For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on, let her know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favorite so far because it shows off their great eyes and their stunning personality.\\nYou should not only be comfortable with being honest, but you should be accepting of their honesty as well. If you want to be a good boyfriend, you should be able to handle the truth.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Trust them.\", \"描述\": \"Trust your partner and give them reason to trust you. Trust should form the foundation of your relationship. This will allow you to create a more open relationship toward each other, as well as creating a very good understanding in what your mate wants, feels, and needs.\\nYou can show that you trust your partner by telling them something that a lot of people don't know about you.\\nYou can secure their trust in you by showing that you care and are concerned if they tell you something personal and important to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Contribute equally to conversations.\", \"描述\": \"When you talk, try to seek some amount of balance in the flow of conversation. If you're too quiet, they may think you're losing interest in them. If you're too talkative, they may think you're self-obsessed or plain impolite.\\nConversations are about give and take. The same is true for relationships. They never succeed when they're one-sided.\\nObviously, there will be occasions when you do talk a lot (such as when something exciting or important happens) or when you retreat a bit (such as when something bad happens). On the whole, though, aim for a balance of conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be a good listener.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of thinking about the next thing you want to say, or something else entirely, focus on listening to them. Think about what they are saying. Always seem interested and fully engaged in their presence.\\nRemember, a conversation with your partner isn't just acknowledging, it's also about remembering. If your partner is telling you about an important experience, make a mental note of it.\\nIf they've told you something twice before and you have no idea what they're talking about because you weren't really listening, they\\\"ll know and they won't be happy about it.\\n\\\"Listen\\\" to their non-verbal \\\"conversations\\\" as well. Learn to tell when something is bothering them even when they won't say it. What does their expression, their body language, or even the way they keep twirling their hair tell you?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to compromise.\", \"描述\": \"Compromise is a big part of successful communication. If you and your partner can't disagree without getting into a big fight or without one person immediately giving in to the needs of the other, then you have a problem. To be good at compromising, you should be able to talk about your needs and wants while understanding where your partner is coming from, instead of ignoring their side of the story.\\nAfter you and your partner discuss your thoughts on a certain situation, you can work together to make a pros and cons list, and decide what will be best for both of you.\\nSometimes, you and your partner will have to give in to one another. That's okay, as long as you're taking turns. If they pick the movie for date night, for example, you should pick the dinner location and where to go for dessert afterward.\\nPart of learning to compromise is using a calm, even voice when you have a disagreement. Never yell, swear, or (under any circumstances, ever) hit them, no matter how angry you become. Walk away for awhile if you have to, and come back when you can talk rationally.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be supportive.\", \"描述\": \"You can show support by being available, listening attentively, and showing interest in the things they tell you. When you spend time together, make an effort to be present and attentive to their needs. By being supportive, you'll help to strengthen the sense of security and reciprocity in the relationship. And if you support their goals and dreams, then they'll support yours in turn.\\nBe there when they have to study for a big exam or finish college applications, or when they're stressed about anything else that can affect their future.\\nIf they're having a busy week or month, you should be there to help them out by doing small favors, like picking up lunch or giving them a ride to class, to make their days easier.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be sympathetic.\", \"描述\": \"If it means something to them, it should mean something to you. It doesn't matter that you wouldn't be interested in the issue if it weren't for them––a relationship is about sharing experiences and being supportive. When they're upset, try to put yourself in their shoes and understand where they're coming from. Don't just dismiss their feelings because you think it's \\\"not that big of a deal.\\\"\\nAlways confirm that you are listening and sound sincere when you comfort them. If you don't feel like you are genuinely sorry, try to change the way you think. Think about things from their perspective.\\nSometimes, they may just want to cry and to be comforted. Don't try to fix their problems right away. Instead, wait for them to deal with all of their emotions before being practical. If they're upset, it's important to ask, \\\"Do you want to talk about it?\\\" Make them see that you really care. And if they're not ready to talk about it yet, don't pry.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Affection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show affection often.\", \"描述\": \"Show your partner that you love them by being affectionate. Small touches, hugs, a kiss, and maybe a little public display of affection (PDA) are just some of the ways of connecting through affection.\\nDon't overdo it––you don't want to make them uncomfortable. Remember to read their signs, and if they're not in the mood, don't kiss them.\\nMany times, even a light touch is appreciated. If your partner is a romantic, upon seeing them for the first time in a couple of days, say, \\\"I missed you...\\\" and weave your arms around their hips then give them a loving hug.\\nDepending on their preferences, also try giving a light kiss on their lips/cheek/forehead/neck just to show that you really appreciate their presence. Or just kiss their hand by clasping and bringing it up to your lips.\\nIf you're not sure how your partner feels about public displays of affection, be discreet at first. Believe it or not, not every person is into holding hands.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Appreciate their beauty.\", \"描述\": \"Give them extra compliments when they make extra efforts to look beautiful, but also make sure they know they can relax and be themself with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being. You should let them know that they look pretty whether they've spent an hour getting ready or if they've just woken up.\\nIf they get a new haircut or a new outfit, let them see that you've noticed and let them know that they look amazing.\\nTruly appreciating someone's looks isn't as superficial as it may seem, though. When you truly care about someone, they will look beautiful to you no matter the situation. When you feel this way about your partner, let them know.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment them sincerely.\", \"描述\": \"You should compliment your partner as often as you can without making them feel smothered. Compliment them not only on how they look, but on how they are. That way, they'll know that you care about their appearance and what's on the inside. They are more likely to be confident about themself when you give them reasons to be confident through your compliments.\\nGo beyond the ordinary statements. For example, don't just say, \\\"You look nice.\\\" Instead, say \\\"That really makes your eyes shine,\\\" or \\\"Your haircut really suits the shape of your face.\\\" The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.\\nEven small, seemingly silly compliments can be meaningful. Saying things like \\\"you really have beautiful handwriting\\\" or \\\"you're awesome at parallel parking\\\" can be confidence-builders, when spoken with sincerity. The also show that you are paying attention to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give gifts, at special times and anytime.\", \"描述\": \"No healthy relationship can survive on gifts alone, no matter how fancy or expensive they are. However, giving gifts thoughtfully and purposefully can provide lasting demonstrations your interest, attentiveness, and affection.\\nPut thought into a birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, or anniversary gift, and other special occasions. Choose a gift that is reasonable and thoughtful; it doesn't need to be expensive, just considerate of who they are and their likes.\\nThink of special touches, like adding their name to a necklace, or a pendant representing something they care about, such as a snowflake if they love to ski or a musical note if they love to play an instrument, etc.\\nNotice their interests when you're out together. They might make mention of something they like in a shop window, or something they wish they could try, like going for a horse ride. Don't just think of tangible items––experience gifts can be far more exciting and fun than a list of things.\\nSometimes, get them a gift \\\"just because.\\\" Pick something up out of the blue now and then and give it to them just because your were \\\"thinking of them\\\". This sort of gift has great impact because it's so unexpected and delightful.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Sprinkle your relationship with doses of spontaneity.\", \"描述\": \"While familiarity is one of the most comforting aspects of a relationship, try not to fall into a rut of always doing the same things. While you probably have one or two regular things you enjoy doing together, avoid making the regular the only things you do.\\nInstead, try visiting new places, giving new activities a go and going to different parts of town. Even if the new activities don't turn out the way you'd hoped, at least you've shared the experience and are getting to know one another even better.\\nBy mixing things up, you keep the excitement in your relationship and make your outings together refreshing. You are also creating memories together that will endure well beyond the experiences.\\nSurprise your partner by doing something offbeat now and then -- this could include anything from racing your partner to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of Lego bricks and encouraging them to build something that represents the two of you.\\nTake a surprise trip. You can pick a location in advance and just tell them what to pack without saying where you're going. Of course, use your best judgment about their preferences. Perhaps they'll love the mystery and excitement of going to an unknown location, perhaps not.\\nIf they've mentioned the fact that they've never checked out a national park or quirky town not too far from where you live, take them there without telling them where you're going. They'll love the spontaneity and the fact that you took the time to listen to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take care of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Let your partner feel like they are needed, helpful, and appreciated, but don't be overly needy or dependent. Be hygienic and neat, set goals, and work hard. You can't be a good boyfriend if you're not taking responsibility for yourself.\\nTake pride in your appearance, and in how you present yourself to the world. Making yourself look good (both in actual appearance and, more importantly, by how you conduct yourself) makes them look good too, and they will appreciate that.\\nThey won't have fun in the relationship if they feel like they're always nagging you to do one thing or another. They want to take care of you, but they don't want to be your mother.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Give them (and yourself) some individual space.\", \"描述\": \"Just because they your significant other, it doesn't mean they are yours, implying some kind of ownership. You don't have to be attached at the hip to have a great relationship. In fact, if you let them pursue their own interests without checking in every five seconds, they'll like you even more.\\nFind a balance that lets you both spend some time alone, spend time with your individual friends, and spend time with each other.\\nSpending time with your separate friends will make you appreciate each other even more when you see each other again.\\nMaintaining different social schedules will also give you something to \\\"report back\\\" when you are together again.\\nMaintain some separate interests as well. Keep up your hobbies, sports and other interests that you had before each of you met. Though it'll be great to find an activity that you both like together, you shouldn't force them to watch football with you if they don't want to, and you shouldn't have to go to yoga with them unless it's something you want to try.\\nMaintaining your separate interests will help you maintain a sense of individuality, and to grow separately so that you can grow together in love and have a perfect relationship in the end.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be yourself! That's why your partner is with you.\\n\", \"Talk to them regularly. Text them, call them, let them know that you care!\\n\", \"Don't be too clingy. It may be annoying for them if you kiss or hug them all the time. Be sure to give them some room to breathe as well.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never tell them about something you almost did for them and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying \\\"I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind\\\" or \\\"I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea.\\\" They will not think you were thoughtful––she will think you decided they weren't worth it.\\n\", \"Do not say or do things you'll regret, because you'll be in a very bad situation. If you know you are going to explode and say some regrettable things to them, the best thing to do is leave them alone. Then, text them in a couple of hours to see if they're alright and talk to them.\\n\", \"Don't be too clingy. They want their personal space just as much as you do. If they want to hang out with their friends or do something other than hanging out with you, let them.\\n\", \"Never hold their family's actions against them. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with them that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.\\n\", \"If your partner sees you doing something that can be easily misinterpreted in a bad way, don't say \\\"This isn't what you think\\\" or \\\"This isn't what it looks like.\\\" Hold their hand (they will usually try to pull away) then look their in the eye and tell them you love them, and that they are the only one for you, and then explain that it really wasn't what it looked like.\\n\", \"When they're angry, NEVER shout back at them! Calm them down and address the situation in a civil manner. This will keep everything under control and will help you to sort out the problems with less conflict.\\n\", \"Don't embarrass them. Most people get embarrassed if you talk about undergarments, hygiene, making love, and so forth, in public. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to them, they may be something they don't want to talk about in public. Also, never tell a funny story about them without their consent, especially if they try to stop you, do not continue. This will hurt their feelings, as it shows them that impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than them not having to feel stupid.\\n\", \"Never force them into doing things like sex and other sexual acts and respect their boundaries. If you want to have sex, ask them first and if they say no, respect their wishes. Having sex with someone against their will is rape and is a criminal offence. It could land you in prison for life. Also, never feel pressured into doing it. You're ready when you're ready, and that time is different for everyone.\\n\", \"Never get into an abusive relationship, whether you're the one being abused or you're abusing them. An abusive relationship is when one person has an unhealthy amount of control over the other in a relationship. The abuser does this in several different ways, including physically harming the other person (violence) and controlling what the other person wears, says and where he/she goes. This is a criminal offence and if this is the case then the relationship is toxic. Leave the relationship and if they are putting you in danger, call the police. Remember that girls can abuse guys as well. If you are the one abusing them, you should also leave the relationship and apologise to them. If you are abusing them, then clearly you are not ready for a relationship.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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How to Be a Good Boyfriend as a Teen
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1. Being Yourself
1-1. Don't try to be someone you aren't.
It's tempting to change things about yourself to be more appealing to someone else, but it will only end in heartbreak. You deserve someone who likes you for who you are, and they deserve to know the real you.
If you're already dating that, that means they like you! You don't need to be a "perfect" guy to be a good boyfriend. There's no such thing as perfection!
1-2. Keep up with your own interests, even if they don't like them.
It's normal for you to like different things. Although it's great to share things in common, both you and them will likely have separate interests. Set aside time to do what you care about, and encourage them to do the same. This will make your relationship happier in the long run.For example, you might enjoy watching sports, while they don't. You can enjoy your favorite game with friends while they do something else. Similarly, they might like going to live concerts, while you find them too noisy. They could enjoy regular concert outings with friends instead of with you.
1-3. Let them see your emotional side.
Don't be afraid to show them your emotions, even if you feel embarrassed. It's important for you to be real around them so that you can have an honest relationship. This will show them that you feel comfortable around them and trust them. Let them comfort you in your times of need!For example, it's okay to cry when you're upset or talk to them about how stressed you are.
1-4. Don't try too hard to impress them.
You might think that showing off at school, scoring a major win, or giving them nice presents is the only way to win their heart, but that's not true. A person who is with you for the right reasons won't need flashy reasons to be your partner. It's okay to do nice things for them, but don't go overboard.
For example, it's okay to bring them flowers before a date, but don't bring them flowers every day.
Similarly, it's normal to show off a trophy you won, but don't try to win a trophy just to impress them.
1-5. Wear clothes that make you feel your best.
Being a good boyfriend often includes tending to your appearance, but stay true to who you are. Choose clothing that you like and that fits your interests, rather than what you think your partner wants you to wear.
You don't have to look like a teenage pop star to show your partner that you care about how you look when you're around them. Just shower regularly, shave if that's what you normally do, and wear flattering, well-fitting, and unwrinkled clothes.
If you look sloppy around them, they'll think they're not important to you.
It's important to look nice, especially before you pick them up on a date. Show them that they're worth the effort it takes to look nice.
1-6. Be a gentleman.
Though it may be hard to be a gentleman when you're a teenager, you should try to treat your partner with respect as much as you can. Part of being a gentleman means being attentive to your partners's needs, from opening the door for them or their friends to hanging up their coat if they come over.
If you pick them up, open the car door for them.
Let them walk into a room first, before you.
If they look cold, offer them your coat.
If you take them out to dinner, pull out their chair for them to sit down.
2. Communicating Well
2-1. Maintain eye contact
Eye contact shows them that you are listening to them. If you look away, they may think that you are disinterested and don't care about what they have to say. This is an easy way to show them you care!You should also nod along while they're talking to you to show you're listening.
2-2. Don't take what they say personally, especially if it's not about you.
When they are venting about something -- whether it's about their life or about your relationship -- don't turn it into something about you. They're just telling you their feelings. Don't try to read something into it that isn't there.
If their feelings trigger something in you, save it for an appropriate time. Wait for a good time to share your feelings, such as after they're calmed down.
2-3. Be honest.
If you want to be a good boyfriend as a teen, then you have to learn to be honest with your partner. This doesn't mean that you have to tell them every thought that runs through your head, but it does mean that you should be able to tell them if you're in a bad mood, if you're upset because you did poorly on the math test, or that you wish they wouldn't call you every five minutes.
Part of honesty is tact. If you have to be honest about something you wish they did or didn't do, tell them in a kind and sympathetic way so they don't get mad at you.
Don't pretend that you never had another partner if you did. You don't have to go into all the details with your partner, but you shouldn't lie about your past.
You don't have to tell your partner everything -- for example, if you think the girl in your gym class is cute, you can just keep that to yourself.
If they find out that you've been dishonest, that will break their trust very quickly.
2-4. Compromise
Part of growing up and being a good boyfriend, as well as being a good son and friend, is learning that you can't always get what you want. You may want to see the new Bond movie with your friends, but they may really want to have a date night -- you have to learn how to pick your battles and how to make sure that both people in the relationship are happy.
Remember that it's better to be happy than right. If you think your partner really wants something while you just kind of want it, let them get their way.
Be mature. If you and your partner are arguing about something, sit down and make a list of all the pros and cons of each decision. That can help you both get perspective on the situation.
Make sure that both people are compromising. It's not a real compromise if you always end up getting your way, or if your partner always ends up getting what they want.
Learn to take turns. Maybe you can pick the dinner place tonight, but they can pick the movie tomorrow.
2-5. Say you're sorry.
Part of being a master communicator is learning to say you're sorry if you made a mistake. You may think that admitting you're wrong will only make you look worse, but quite the contrary is true. If you acknowledge that you've made a mistake and even apologize by giving them flowers or a sweet note, they'll like you much more than if you ignore the fact that you did something wrong and hope they'll get over it.
It's not easy to say you're sorry -- it can be very humiliating or embarrassing. But if you get into the habit of apologizing when you've done something wrong, it will feel much more natural.
When you say you're sorry, you should sound like you mean it. Sit down, look into your partner's eyes, and even take their hands if you need to. This will show them that you're making time to apologize. If you just mutter the word "Sorry" as you pass by, or apologize in a text message, they won't take you seriously.
2-6. Don't fight without reason.
It's important to have disagreements from time to time and to work together to find a solution to the problem, but constantly fighting for no reason and with little provocation is a quick way to ruin your relationship. Teenage couples are prone to fighting a lot because they don't have a lot of experience compromising or having serious discussions with people they're romantically involved with, and this does take practice.
Whenever you find yourself raising your voice or even shouting, just calm down and take a few deep breaths. You won't resolve anything if you're feeling emotional or heated.
If you think your partner is starting a lot of fights, communicate about why this is happening and how it can be changed.
If you're kind of annoyed about something minor and have the urge to pick a fight, ask yourself if it's really worth it.
Don't let your anger build up -- if you're really mad about something, it's better to communicate about it than to avoid the topic and wait for weeks until so much anger has built up that you feel like fighting.
3. Creating a Good Relationship
3-1. Understand their moods.
Teenage girls, especially, can be prone to mood swings because of their cycling hormones, and because of the natural confusion that comes with growing up. If you want to be a good boyfriend, then you have to be attentive to their moods and to understand when they're feeling happy or when they're annoyed or even upset. They may be trying to hide their moods, but as you get to know them better, you should understand how they're really feeling.
If they're clearly upset about something, you can ask them to open up about why. If they don't want to talk about it, don't push it or keep asking about it, or they'll feel much worse.
If they're sad, give them some love and affection. Ask if they want to stay in instead of going out, or how they feel like dealing with their mood. They may want to be left alone, or they may just want to snuggle with you.
Don't say, "I can tell you're in a bad mood." Instead, say, "Is something wrong? I'm worried that you're upset. Talk to me." If you accuse them of being in a bad mood, they may get annoyed and defensive.
3-2. Do them favors.
If you really want to be a good boyfriend, then you should be attentive to their needs. Maybe they're really busy during lunch because they have to cram for their Spanish exam -- offer to buy them lunch in the lunch line while they study. If they stay home sick, offer to pick up their homework from their teachers.
If they need a ride somewhere, offer to give them one if you can drive.
If they need help, they may not admit it right away, so be attentive and see if there's anything you can do.
Make sure there's a give-and-take balance. If you do favors for them, they should help you out, too. If it's a one-way street, then they may be taking advantage of you.
3-3. Be supportive.
You should recognize that your partner is their own person and that you should support them as they try to reach their goals as well as when they deal with any conflict in their life. Here are some ways to be supportive:
If you know they have a big test coming up, then you should either give them space to study or help them if you can.
If they're really passionate about soccer, tennis, or some other school sport, then you should cheer them on the sidelines during their big games.
If they're going through some trouble at home, make sure to be extra attentive and to ask if there's anything you can do. And if they don't want to talk about it, they don't want to talk about it.
Ask about their interests. If you know they're passionate about painting or playing the violin, support them by letting them talk about these interests and sharing how much they mean to them.
3-4. Pay attention to their friends.
It's very important to be attentive to your partner, and it's also key to pay attention to their friends. Friends can make or break teenage relationships, and if their friends love you, they'll tell them how lucky they are to have found an amazing guy like you. But if they don't like you because you're rude or ignore them, they'll tell them that you're a jerk and may even convince them that they can do better and that they should break up with you ASAP.
Be friendly to their friends. Say hi, even if your partner isn't around, and ask them how they're doing. You can even talk to them about their interests and get to know them a bit.
Don't ignore them. If you approach your partner when they're with a group of friends, make sure to greet them when you do.
Don't tell your partner that you don't like their friends. Even if they're a little annoying, they mean a lot to them, and if you admit this, you'll be making a rift in your relationship.
3-5. Don't ignore them in front of your friends.
This is an important point. If your partner is hanging out with you and your buddies, or even if you're hanging out in a group surrounded by all of your friends, you should still pay attention to them and let them know that they're important to you. Don't ditch them as soon as your friends show up, or they'll start to feel like a burden or like a last priority.
If you two are hanging out with your friends, you should sit next to them and include them in the conversation. Don't leave them hanging.
Help your friends get to know them. If your friends are shy or awkward around your partner, it'll be hard to have a good time. Bring up some common interests for your friends and your partner to talk about.
3-6. Know when they need space.
If you really want to be attentive, then you should notice when your partner wants to be left alone. Space and privacy are necessary for every healthy relationship, so don't be put off if it seems like your partner wants a night to themselves or even a night with their friends. If you're always around, then your relationship may be becoming too intense. Take some time apart from your partner so you have time to gain perspective and realize how much you miss each other.
If you're always around, then they may start to feel that you're controlling or domineering. Let them do their own thing.
If they want to be alone, be cool with it. If you look upset or hurt, they'll think you're insecure.
Leave some room in their schedule. Don't try to plan your weekends so you're together every second and don't have time for your families or other friends.
4. Showing Them Affection
4-1. Compliment them
It's natural if you feel a bit shy about complimenting your partner. If you're a teen, then this may be your first, or one of your first relationships, and you may feel awkward about telling your partner that they look nice or for complimenting their outfit, but you should get into the habit of complimenting them. This will let them know that you like them and notice them, and that they mean a lot to you.
You should compliment them even more if they get a new haircut or wear a new outfit.
You can tell them they looks attractive whenever you want to -- it doesn't have to be only when they're all dressed up. If they look cute in a tank top and a pair of casual shorts, let them know.
You don't have to overdo it -- just make sure to compliment them at least once every time you see them.
You don't only have to compliment their looks -- you can compliment an aspect of their personality, like their amazing sense of humor, or you can tell them that they're an amazing gymnast or that they're great at French.
4-2. Give them physical affection
If you want to be affectionate, you should put your arm around your partner from time to time, hold hands, or even give them a quick kiss when you meet them. You don't have to overwhelm them or put your hands all over them whenever you see them, but you should give them some sign that you like being around them, even if it's just a gentle squeeze on the hand after class.
Learn to cuddle. Spend some time hugging them, stroking their hair, or showering them with kisses. Put your arms around their waist! People love this, they feel protected and safe in your arms.
Only be as affectionate as they want you to be. Don't make them feel like they're getting groped in public or like they don't have room to breathe.
Take it easy on the PDAs (Public Displays of Affection). You'll find that often, the couples that are the most comfortable with each other don't need to hold hands 24/7 or to make out in public. You can show them affection in public, but only as much as makes them comfortable.
4-3. Ask them if they are ready to take the next step.
Do not pressure them though. It will make them very uncomfortable.
You can do this by literally asking them.
You can also try something new out whenever it seems natural, whether during a kiss or something out of the blue. But just be careful to read both their verbal reactions and their physical cues clearly, and stop if they're not comfortable.
Don't rush them! Let them work at their own pace. If they say they don't want to, don't keep asking, or you could jeopardize how safe they feel with you.
4-4. Give them small gifts
Gifts are a great way to show your affection for your partner, no matter how small or silly they are. If you're a teen, you probably don't have a lot of spending money, and you don't have to save up to get a diamond necklace. Just give them a cute and silly teddy bear for Valentine's Day, a bouquet of flowers on their birthday, or tickets to the movie they wanted to see as a special treat.
It's not the actual gift that counts -- it's the gesture. A gift shows that you've taken the time to think about them.
4-5. Leave them sweet notes.
Sweet notes are another old-fashioned and romantic way to let your partner know that you've been thinking about them. Leave them in their locker or hand them to them after school, or even at the end of a romantic date. You don't have to say much in the notes -- just tell them that you've been thinking about them and compliment something about them.
Don't leave the notes if it feels forced. But if you really want to show your affection this way, they'll love it.
You can also just text them randomly, saying things like "I love you" or "Thinking of you". This feels a little less personal than leaving notes, but it is better than nothing, especially if you're apart for a period of time and can't leave them notes.
4-6. Make time for romance.
Part of being affectionate is making time when just the two of you can hang out, go on a date, and talk about how much you like each other -- or about nothing at all. You should try to have a "date night" at least once every week or two so you and your partner can have time to make your relationship move forward.
You and your partner can alternate picking where you'll go and what you'll do. Maybe they want to go mini-golfing one weekend and you want to go to the beach another time.
Almost any situation can be romantic if you're alone with your partner and show them lots of affection. You can have a romantic time at the county fair or even when you're watching a silly movie.
You should also make time for the guys, but don't make your partner feel like they're the last priority.
5. Making it Last
5-1. Pursue some interests together.
If you want to be a good boyfriend and to make your relationship last a long time, then you and your partner should find some interests to pursue together. Though it may be hard to do this with your busy schedules, you should find an activity that you both like to do, like playing tennis together on weekends, or trying every sushi restaurant in town.
You can even find a new TV show that you're both addicted to.
It doesn't matter what you do -- what matters is that you're building more interests together, which will give you more to look forward to and to talk about throughout the course of your relationship.
5-2. Keep it fresh.
If you've been with your partner for a while, things can begin to fall into a routine, and you may feel like your relationship is losing that special spark. Make sure to keep things interesting by finding new ways to compliment your partner, going to new spots during your date nights, and finding new interests to pursue together.
Be spontaneous. Pick them up after school and drive them to a park for an impromptu picnic.
Don't do the same thing every weekend. Make sure you try at least one new thing together every time you go out, even if it means seeing the same movie in a different theater.
Don't forget about your looks. You should continue to look nice, even if you've been together for a while. If you slack off in this department, they may think you don't care anymore.
5-3. Maintain some independence.
If you're in a teenage relationship, then it's never a good idea to spend all of your time together with your significant other. Let's face it -- teenage relationships are less likely to last than adult relationships, or even college relationships, so you shouldn't invest 100% of your time in each other or you may both be disappointed. Your relationship can continue to grow and strengthen while both of you still remember who you are without each other.
Continue to make time for your guy friends. Don't ditch them completely to hang out with your partner.
Don't let your partner ditch their friends to hang out with you all the time, either.
Don't stop pursuing your interests just because of your partner. Continue to practice with your band, even if they don't like the music.
If you and your partner are always together, you won't have any room to step back and gain some perspective. Being apart helps you value what you have, and to think about anything that may not be working.
5-4. Don't move too fast.
If you're a teenage guy, then it's likely that you have strong hormonal impulses and want to make out, or do much more, with your partner whenever you can. But whether you want to move a little further than kissing or to go all the way, you have to make sure that your partner is completely ready to take this step.
Don't ever pressure your partner to do more than they want to do. They may feel forced to give in to you, and they will regret it later.
If you keep trying to move too fast, your partner may think that you're not in the relationship for the right reasons.
Let your partner make the calls sometimes. Wait for them to tell you what they want instead of making it clear that you want more.
You should avoid moving too fast not only in the bedroom, but in general. Don't start talking about college or your potential futures together until you've been together for a long time and feel truly serious about each other.
5-5. Text back.
When you don't text back, they may get paranoid, so when you do text back say "Sorry I took so long, I had to help my mom", or whatever reason you didn't reply.
Take care when you text other friends. Partners can get very jealous if they see you texting someone else. However, this doesn't mean you can't text others. If you are going to text another person, just make it clear that you are taken and do not flirt with them. If your partner catches you texting someone in a more than friendly way, they'll drop you faster than hot coal, unless they love you.
5-6. Remember how lucky you are.
They're attractive, good-looking, lovely, and kind, and that other person you just glanced at is not worth it. Your partner will probably do anything for you, so don't forget how much you mean to them.
Let them know you care. Sometimes they will want to be treated like the only person who matters, show them you care about them by telling them so. Listen to their ideas and opinions, if you disagree with them no need to start an argument, sharing ideologies can be fun.
Do not talk about their faults. Never ever talk about their faults or flaws, your opinion is very important to them so by saying mean things you could really damage their self-esteem. Recognize their good qualities and make sure they know about them. However, if your partner is... let's say, really bossy and controlling, this may be something you need to point out.
5-7. Be there for them.
If they are in a spot of trouble, help the person out. Always be there for your partner when they need help and back them up when they need it. If they are sad, try to help them sort out their problems and they should do the same for you. Remember, relationships are a two-way street, they have to put in effort too.
Tips
Don't be paranoid about other guys. Let them talk to other guys, and don't always worry that they're gonna break up with you.
If they think that you are cheating on them or that you like someone else, remind them how much you love them.
Don't say "I love you" until you're sure you mean it.
Warnings
Don't cheat on them. Cheating on them is a big no. If you do, they will eventually find out.
Don't try to make them jealous, or suggest that they may be jealous. But if you do suppose they are jealous, give them some extra affection.
Don't let what other people say matter. You're dating them because you like them, so ignore everyone else's opinion.
If they have guy friends, don't get jealous. It's annoying and incredibly clingy.
Don't be jealous of their exes. They're with you, not with them. In the same way, don't make them jealous of your exes. Keep conversations about them to an absolute minimum.
Never ask for nude pictures, and never send any of yourself. If they want you to see them naked, they'll do it for you in person.
Don't tell them you think other people are hot, even if they ask your opinion. This can be very damaging. You don't want to hear about how much they like Taylor Lautner. It's the same with them. They don't want to hear you talk about Megan Fox.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:52:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Yourself\\n1-1. Don't try to be someone you aren't.\\nIt's tempting to change things about yourself to be more appealing to someone else, but it will only end in heartbreak. You deserve someone who likes you for who you are, and they deserve to know the real you.\\nIf you're already dating that, that means they like you! You don't need to be a \\\"perfect\\\" guy to be a good boyfriend. There's no such thing as perfection!\\n1-2. Keep up with your own interests, even if they don't like them.\\nIt's normal for you to like different things. Although it's great to share things in common, both you and them will likely have separate interests. Set aside time to do what you care about, and encourage them to do the same. This will make your relationship happier in the long run.For example, you might enjoy watching sports, while they don't. You can enjoy your favorite game with friends while they do something else. Similarly, they might like going to live concerts, while you find them too noisy. They could enjoy regular concert outings with friends instead of with you.\\n1-3. Let them see your emotional side.\\nDon't be afraid to show them your emotions, even if you feel embarrassed. It's important for you to be real around them so that you can have an honest relationship. This will show them that you feel comfortable around them and trust them. Let them comfort you in your times of need!For example, it's okay to cry when you're upset or talk to them about how stressed you are.\\n1-4. Don't try too hard to impress them.\\nYou might think that showing off at school, scoring a major win, or giving them nice presents is the only way to win their heart, but that's not true. A person who is with you for the right reasons won't need flashy reasons to be your partner. It's okay to do nice things for them, but don't go overboard.\\nFor example, it's okay to bring them flowers before a date, but don't bring them flowers every day.\\nSimilarly, it's normal to show off a trophy you won, but don't try to win a trophy just to impress them.\\n1-5. Wear clothes that make you feel your best.\\nBeing a good boyfriend often includes tending to your appearance, but stay true to who you are. Choose clothing that you like and that fits your interests, rather than what you think your partner wants you to wear.\\nYou don't have to look like a teenage pop star to show your partner that you care about how you look when you're around them. Just shower regularly, shave if that's what you normally do, and wear flattering, well-fitting, and unwrinkled clothes.\\nIf you look sloppy around them, they'll think they're not important to you.\\nIt's important to look nice, especially before you pick them up on a date. Show them that they're worth the effort it takes to look nice.\\n1-6. Be a gentleman.\\nThough it may be hard to be a gentleman when you're a teenager, you should try to treat your partner with respect as much as you can. Part of being a gentleman means being attentive to your partners's needs, from opening the door for them or their friends to hanging up their coat if they come over.\\nIf you pick them up, open the car door for them.\\nLet them walk into a room first, before you.\\nIf they look cold, offer them your coat.\\nIf you take them out to dinner, pull out their chair for them to sit down.\\n2. Communicating Well\\n2-1. Maintain eye contact\\nEye contact shows them that you are listening to them. If you look away, they may think that you are disinterested and don't care about what they have to say. This is an easy way to show them you care!You should also nod along while they're talking to you to show you're listening.\\n2-2. Don't take what they say personally, especially if it's not about you.\\nWhen they are venting about something -- whether it's about their life or about your relationship -- don't turn it into something about you. They're just telling you their feelings. Don't try to read something into it that isn't there.\\nIf their feelings trigger something in you, save it for an appropriate time. Wait for a good time to share your feelings, such as after they're calmed down.\\n2-3. Be honest.\\nIf you want to be a good boyfriend as a teen, then you have to learn to be honest with your partner. This doesn't mean that you have to tell them every thought that runs through your head, but it does mean that you should be able to tell them if you're in a bad mood, if you're upset because you did poorly on the math test, or that you wish they wouldn't call you every five minutes.\\nPart of honesty is tact. If you have to be honest about something you wish they did or didn't do, tell them in a kind and sympathetic way so they don't get mad at you.\\nDon't pretend that you never had another partner if you did. You don't have to go into all the details with your partner, but you shouldn't lie about your past.\\nYou don't have to tell your partner everything -- for example, if you think the girl in your gym class is cute, you can just keep that to yourself.\\nIf they find out that you've been dishonest, that will break their trust very quickly.\\n2-4. Compromise\\nPart of growing up and being a good boyfriend, as well as being a good son and friend, is learning that you can't always get what you want. You may want to see the new Bond movie with your friends, but they may really want to have a date night -- you have to learn how to pick your battles and how to make sure that both people in the relationship are happy.\\nRemember that it's better to be happy than right. If you think your partner really wants something while you just kind of want it, let them get their way.\\nBe mature. If you and your partner are arguing about something, sit down and make a list of all the pros and cons of each decision. That can help you both get perspective on the situation.\\nMake sure that both people are compromising. It's not a real compromise if you always end up getting your way, or if your partner always ends up getting what they want.\\nLearn to take turns. Maybe you can pick the dinner place tonight, but they can pick the movie tomorrow.\\n2-5. Say you're sorry.\\nPart of being a master communicator is learning to say you're sorry if you made a mistake. You may think that admitting you're wrong will only make you look worse, but quite the contrary is true. If you acknowledge that you've made a mistake and even apologize by giving them flowers or a sweet note, they'll like you much more than if you ignore the fact that you did something wrong and hope they'll get over it.\\nIt's not easy to say you're sorry -- it can be very humiliating or embarrassing. But if you get into the habit of apologizing when you've done something wrong, it will feel much more natural.\\nWhen you say you're sorry, you should sound like you mean it. Sit down, look into your partner's eyes, and even take their hands if you need to. This will show them that you're making time to apologize. If you just mutter the word \\\"Sorry\\\" as you pass by, or apologize in a text message, they won't take you seriously.\\n2-6. Don't fight without reason.\\nIt's important to have disagreements from time to time and to work together to find a solution to the problem, but constantly fighting for no reason and with little provocation is a quick way to ruin your relationship. Teenage couples are prone to fighting a lot because they don't have a lot of experience compromising or having serious discussions with people they're romantically involved with, and this does take practice.\\nWhenever you find yourself raising your voice or even shouting, just calm down and take a few deep breaths. You won't resolve anything if you're feeling emotional or heated.\\nIf you think your partner is starting a lot of fights, communicate about why this is happening and how it can be changed.\\nIf you're kind of annoyed about something minor and have the urge to pick a fight, ask yourself if it's really worth it.\\nDon't let your anger build up -- if you're really mad about something, it's better to communicate about it than to avoid the topic and wait for weeks until so much anger has built up that you feel like fighting.\\n3. Creating a Good Relationship\\n3-1. Understand their moods.\\nTeenage girls, especially, can be prone to mood swings because of their cycling hormones, and because of the natural confusion that comes with growing up. If you want to be a good boyfriend, then you have to be attentive to their moods and to understand when they're feeling happy or when they're annoyed or even upset. They may be trying to hide their moods, but as you get to know them better, you should understand how they're really feeling.\\nIf they're clearly upset about something, you can ask them to open up about why. If they don't want to talk about it, don't push it or keep asking about it, or they'll feel much worse.\\nIf they're sad, give them some love and affection. Ask if they want to stay in instead of going out, or how they feel like dealing with their mood. They may want to be left alone, or they may just want to snuggle with you.\\nDon't say, \\\"I can tell you're in a bad mood.\\\" Instead, say, \\\"Is something wrong? I'm worried that you're upset. Talk to me.\\\" If you accuse them of being in a bad mood, they may get annoyed and defensive.\\n3-2. Do them favors.\\nIf you really want to be a good boyfriend, then you should be attentive to their needs. Maybe they're really busy during lunch because they have to cram for their Spanish exam -- offer to buy them lunch in the lunch line while they study. If they stay home sick, offer to pick up their homework from their teachers.\\nIf they need a ride somewhere, offer to give them one if you can drive.\\nIf they need help, they may not admit it right away, so be attentive and see if there's anything you can do.\\nMake sure there's a give-and-take balance. If you do favors for them, they should help you out, too. If it's a one-way street, then they may be taking advantage of you.\\n3-3. Be supportive.\\nYou should recognize that your partner is their own person and that you should support them as they try to reach their goals as well as when they deal with any conflict in their life. Here are some ways to be supportive:\\nIf you know they have a big test coming up, then you should either give them space to study or help them if you can.\\nIf they're really passionate about soccer, tennis, or some other school sport, then you should cheer them on the sidelines during their big games.\\nIf they're going through some trouble at home, make sure to be extra attentive and to ask if there's anything you can do. And if they don't want to talk about it, they don't want to talk about it.\\nAsk about their interests. If you know they're passionate about painting or playing the violin, support them by letting them talk about these interests and sharing how much they mean to them.\\n3-4. Pay attention to their friends.\\nIt's very important to be attentive to your partner, and it's also key to pay attention to their friends. Friends can make or break teenage relationships, and if their friends love you, they'll tell them how lucky they are to have found an amazing guy like you. But if they don't like you because you're rude or ignore them, they'll tell them that you're a jerk and may even convince them that they can do better and that they should break up with you ASAP.\\nBe friendly to their friends. Say hi, even if your partner isn't around, and ask them how they're doing. You can even talk to them about their interests and get to know them a bit.\\nDon't ignore them. If you approach your partner when they're with a group of friends, make sure to greet them when you do.\\nDon't tell your partner that you don't like their friends. Even if they're a little annoying, they mean a lot to them, and if you admit this, you'll be making a rift in your relationship.\\n3-5. Don't ignore them in front of your friends.\\nThis is an important point. If your partner is hanging out with you and your buddies, or even if you're hanging out in a group surrounded by all of your friends, you should still pay attention to them and let them know that they're important to you. Don't ditch them as soon as your friends show up, or they'll start to feel like a burden or like a last priority.\\nIf you two are hanging out with your friends, you should sit next to them and include them in the conversation. Don't leave them hanging.\\nHelp your friends get to know them. If your friends are shy or awkward around your partner, it'll be hard to have a good time. Bring up some common interests for your friends and your partner to talk about.\\n3-6. Know when they need space.\\nIf you really want to be attentive, then you should notice when your partner wants to be left alone. Space and privacy are necessary for every healthy relationship, so don't be put off if it seems like your partner wants a night to themselves or even a night with their friends. If you're always around, then your relationship may be becoming too intense. Take some time apart from your partner so you have time to gain perspective and realize how much you miss each other.\\nIf you're always around, then they may start to feel that you're controlling or domineering. Let them do their own thing.\\nIf they want to be alone, be cool with it. If you look upset or hurt, they'll think you're insecure.\\nLeave some room in their schedule. Don't try to plan your weekends so you're together every second and don't have time for your families or other friends.\\n4. Showing Them Affection\\n4-1. Compliment them\\nIt's natural if you feel a bit shy about complimenting your partner. If you're a teen, then this may be your first, or one of your first relationships, and you may feel awkward about telling your partner that they look nice or for complimenting their outfit, but you should get into the habit of complimenting them. This will let them know that you like them and notice them, and that they mean a lot to you.\\nYou should compliment them even more if they get a new haircut or wear a new outfit.\\nYou can tell them they looks attractive whenever you want to -- it doesn't have to be only when they're all dressed up. If they look cute in a tank top and a pair of casual shorts, let them know.\\nYou don't have to overdo it -- just make sure to compliment them at least once every time you see them.\\nYou don't only have to compliment their looks -- you can compliment an aspect of their personality, like their amazing sense of humor, or you can tell them that they're an amazing gymnast or that they're great at French.\\n4-2. Give them physical affection\\nIf you want to be affectionate, you should put your arm around your partner from time to time, hold hands, or even give them a quick kiss when you meet them. You don't have to overwhelm them or put your hands all over them whenever you see them, but you should give them some sign that you like being around them, even if it's just a gentle squeeze on the hand after class.\\n\\nLearn to cuddle. Spend some time hugging them, stroking their hair, or showering them with kisses. Put your arms around their waist! People love this, they feel protected and safe in your arms.\\nOnly be as affectionate as they want you to be. Don't make them feel like they're getting groped in public or like they don't have room to breathe.\\nTake it easy on the PDAs (Public Displays of Affection). You'll find that often, the couples that are the most comfortable with each other don't need to hold hands 24/7 or to make out in public. You can show them affection in public, but only as much as makes them comfortable.\\n4-3. Ask them if they are ready to take the next step.\\nDo not pressure them though. It will make them very uncomfortable.\\nYou can do this by literally asking them.\\nYou can also try something new out whenever it seems natural, whether during a kiss or something out of the blue. But just be careful to read both their verbal reactions and their physical cues clearly, and stop if they're not comfortable.\\nDon't rush them! Let them work at their own pace. If they say they don't want to, don't keep asking, or you could jeopardize how safe they feel with you.\\n4-4. Give them small gifts\\nGifts are a great way to show your affection for your partner, no matter how small or silly they are. If you're a teen, you probably don't have a lot of spending money, and you don't have to save up to get a diamond necklace. Just give them a cute and silly teddy bear for Valentine's Day, a bouquet of flowers on their birthday, or tickets to the movie they wanted to see as a special treat.\\nIt's not the actual gift that counts -- it's the gesture. A gift shows that you've taken the time to think about them.\\n4-5. Leave them sweet notes.\\nSweet notes are another old-fashioned and romantic way to let your partner know that you've been thinking about them. Leave them in their locker or hand them to them after school, or even at the end of a romantic date. You don't have to say much in the notes -- just tell them that you've been thinking about them and compliment something about them.\\nDon't leave the notes if it feels forced. But if you really want to show your affection this way, they'll love it.\\nYou can also just text them randomly, saying things like \\\"I love you\\\" or \\\"Thinking of you\\\". This feels a little less personal than leaving notes, but it is better than nothing, especially if you're apart for a period of time and can't leave them notes.\\n4-6. Make time for romance.\\nPart of being affectionate is making time when just the two of you can hang out, go on a date, and talk about how much you like each other -- or about nothing at all. You should try to have a \\\"date night\\\" at least once every week or two so you and your partner can have time to make your relationship move forward.\\nYou and your partner can alternate picking where you'll go and what you'll do. Maybe they want to go mini-golfing one weekend and you want to go to the beach another time.\\nAlmost any situation can be romantic if you're alone with your partner and show them lots of affection. You can have a romantic time at the county fair or even when you're watching a silly movie.\\nYou should also make time for the guys, but don't make your partner feel like they're the last priority.\\n5. Making it Last\\n5-1. Pursue some interests together.\\nIf you want to be a good boyfriend and to make your relationship last a long time, then you and your partner should find some interests to pursue together. Though it may be hard to do this with your busy schedules, you should find an activity that you both like to do, like playing tennis together on weekends, or trying every sushi restaurant in town.\\nYou can even find a new TV show that you're both addicted to.\\nIt doesn't matter what you do -- what matters is that you're building more interests together, which will give you more to look forward to and to talk about throughout the course of your relationship.\\n5-2. Keep it fresh.\\nIf you've been with your partner for a while, things can begin to fall into a routine, and you may feel like your relationship is losing that special spark. Make sure to keep things interesting by finding new ways to compliment your partner, going to new spots during your date nights, and finding new interests to pursue together.\\n\\nBe spontaneous. Pick them up after school and drive them to a park for an impromptu picnic.\\nDon't do the same thing every weekend. Make sure you try at least one new thing together every time you go out, even if it means seeing the same movie in a different theater.\\nDon't forget about your looks. You should continue to look nice, even if you've been together for a while. If you slack off in this department, they may think you don't care anymore.\\n5-3. Maintain some independence.\\nIf you're in a teenage relationship, then it's never a good idea to spend all of your time together with your significant other. Let's face it -- teenage relationships are less likely to last than adult relationships, or even college relationships, so you shouldn't invest 100% of your time in each other or you may both be disappointed. Your relationship can continue to grow and strengthen while both of you still remember who you are without each other.\\nContinue to make time for your guy friends. Don't ditch them completely to hang out with your partner.\\nDon't let your partner ditch their friends to hang out with you all the time, either.\\nDon't stop pursuing your interests just because of your partner. Continue to practice with your band, even if they don't like the music.\\nIf you and your partner are always together, you won't have any room to step back and gain some perspective. Being apart helps you value what you have, and to think about anything that may not be working.\\n5-4. Don't move too fast.\\nIf you're a teenage guy, then it's likely that you have strong hormonal impulses and want to make out, or do much more, with your partner whenever you can. But whether you want to move a little further than kissing or to go all the way, you have to make sure that your partner is completely ready to take this step.\\nDon't ever pressure your partner to do more than they want to do. They may feel forced to give in to you, and they will regret it later.\\nIf you keep trying to move too fast, your partner may think that you're not in the relationship for the right reasons.\\nLet your partner make the calls sometimes. Wait for them to tell you what they want instead of making it clear that you want more.\\nYou should avoid moving too fast not only in the bedroom, but in general. Don't start talking about college or your potential futures together until you've been together for a long time and feel truly serious about each other.\\n5-5. Text back.\\nWhen you don't text back, they may get paranoid, so when you do text back say \\\"Sorry I took so long, I had to help my mom\\\", or whatever reason you didn't reply. \\nTake care when you text other friends. Partners can get very jealous if they see you texting someone else. However, this doesn't mean you can't text others. If you are going to text another person, just make it clear that you are taken and do not flirt with them. If your partner catches you texting someone in a more than friendly way, they'll drop you faster than hot coal, unless they love you.\\n5-6. Remember how lucky you are.\\nThey're attractive, good-looking, lovely, and kind, and that other person you just glanced at is not worth it. Your partner will probably do anything for you, so don't forget how much you mean to them.\\nLet them know you care. Sometimes they will want to be treated like the only person who matters, show them you care about them by telling them so. Listen to their ideas and opinions, if you disagree with them no need to start an argument, sharing ideologies can be fun.\\nDo not talk about their faults. Never ever talk about their faults or flaws, your opinion is very important to them so by saying mean things you could really damage their self-esteem. Recognize their good qualities and make sure they know about them. However, if your partner is... let's say, really bossy and controlling, this may be something you need to point out.\\n5-7. Be there for them.\\nIf they are in a spot of trouble, help the person out. Always be there for your partner when they need help and back them up when they need it. If they are sad, try to help them sort out their problems and they should do the same for you. Remember, relationships are a two-way street, they have to put in effort too.\\nTips\\nDon't be paranoid about other guys. Let them talk to other guys, and don't always worry that they're gonna break up with you.\\nIf they think that you are cheating on them or that you like someone else, remind them how much you love them.\\nDon't say \\\"I love you\\\" until you're sure you mean it.\\nWarnings\\nDon't cheat on them. Cheating on them is a big no. If you do, they will eventually find out.\\nDon't try to make them jealous, or suggest that they may be jealous. But if you do suppose they are jealous, give them some extra affection.\\nDon't let what other people say matter. You're dating them because you like them, so ignore everyone else's opinion.\\nIf they have guy friends, don't get jealous. It's annoying and incredibly clingy.\\nDon't be jealous of their exes. They're with you, not with them. In the same way, don't make them jealous of your exes. Keep conversations about them to an absolute minimum.\\nNever ask for nude pictures, and never send any of yourself. If they want you to see them naked, they'll do it for you in person.\\nDon't tell them you think other people are hot, even if they ask your opinion. This can be very damaging. You don't want to hear about how much they like Taylor Lautner. It's the same with them. They don't want to hear you talk about Megan Fox.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It's hard enough to learn how to be a good boyfriend at any age, but it's even harder to be a good boyfriend as a teen because it's likely that you and your partner don't have much dating experience. Still, if you learn to communicate and stay attentive and affectionate, you'll be on your way to being a great boyfriend as a teen in no time at all.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't try to be someone you aren't.\", \"描述\": \"It's tempting to change things about yourself to be more appealing to someone else, but it will only end in heartbreak. You deserve someone who likes you for who you are, and they deserve to know the real you.\\nIf you're already dating that, that means they like you! You don't need to be a \\\"perfect\\\" guy to be a good boyfriend. There's no such thing as perfection!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep up with your own interests, even if they don't like them.\", \"描述\": \"It's normal for you to like different things. Although it's great to share things in common, both you and them will likely have separate interests. Set aside time to do what you care about, and encourage them to do the same. This will make your relationship happier in the long run.For example, you might enjoy watching sports, while they don't. You can enjoy your favorite game with friends while they do something else. Similarly, they might like going to live concerts, while you find them too noisy. They could enjoy regular concert outings with friends instead of with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let them see your emotional side.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be afraid to show them your emotions, even if you feel embarrassed. It's important for you to be real around them so that you can have an honest relationship. This will show them that you feel comfortable around them and trust them. Let them comfort you in your times of need!For example, it's okay to cry when you're upset or talk to them about how stressed you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't try too hard to impress them.\", \"描述\": \"You might think that showing off at school, scoring a major win, or giving them nice presents is the only way to win their heart, but that's not true. A person who is with you for the right reasons won't need flashy reasons to be your partner. It's okay to do nice things for them, but don't go overboard.\\nFor example, it's okay to bring them flowers before a date, but don't bring them flowers every day.\\nSimilarly, it's normal to show off a trophy you won, but don't try to win a trophy just to impress them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that make you feel your best.\", \"描述\": \"Being a good boyfriend often includes tending to your appearance, but stay true to who you are. Choose clothing that you like and that fits your interests, rather than what you think your partner wants you to wear.\\nYou don't have to look like a teenage pop star to show your partner that you care about how you look when you're around them. Just shower regularly, shave if that's what you normally do, and wear flattering, well-fitting, and unwrinkled clothes.\\nIf you look sloppy around them, they'll think they're not important to you.\\nIt's important to look nice, especially before you pick them up on a date. Show them that they're worth the effort it takes to look nice.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be a gentleman.\", \"描述\": \"Though it may be hard to be a gentleman when you're a teenager, you should try to treat your partner with respect as much as you can. Part of being a gentleman means being attentive to your partners's needs, from opening the door for them or their friends to hanging up their coat if they come over.\\nIf you pick them up, open the car door for them.\\nLet them walk into a room first, before you.\\nIf they look cold, offer them your coat.\\nIf you take them out to dinner, pull out their chair for them to sit down.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicating Well\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain eye contact\", \"描述\": \"Eye contact shows them that you are listening to them. If you look away, they may think that you are disinterested and don't care about what they have to say. This is an easy way to show them you care!You should also nod along while they're talking to you to show you're listening.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't take what they say personally, especially if it's not about you.\", \"描述\": \"When they are venting about something -- whether it's about their life or about your relationship -- don't turn it into something about you. They're just telling you their feelings. Don't try to read something into it that isn't there.\\nIf their feelings trigger something in you, save it for an appropriate time. Wait for a good time to share your feelings, such as after they're calmed down.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be honest.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good boyfriend as a teen, then you have to learn to be honest with your partner. This doesn't mean that you have to tell them every thought that runs through your head, but it does mean that you should be able to tell them if you're in a bad mood, if you're upset because you did poorly on the math test, or that you wish they wouldn't call you every five minutes.\\nPart of honesty is tact. If you have to be honest about something you wish they did or didn't do, tell them in a kind and sympathetic way so they don't get mad at you.\\nDon't pretend that you never had another partner if you did. You don't have to go into all the details with your partner, but you shouldn't lie about your past.\\nYou don't have to tell your partner everything -- for example, if you think the girl in your gym class is cute, you can just keep that to yourself.\\nIf they find out that you've been dishonest, that will break their trust very quickly.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Compromise\", \"描述\": \"Part of growing up and being a good boyfriend, as well as being a good son and friend, is learning that you can't always get what you want. You may want to see the new Bond movie with your friends, but they may really want to have a date night -- you have to learn how to pick your battles and how to make sure that both people in the relationship are happy.\\nRemember that it's better to be happy than right. If you think your partner really wants something while you just kind of want it, let them get their way.\\nBe mature. If you and your partner are arguing about something, sit down and make a list of all the pros and cons of each decision. That can help you both get perspective on the situation.\\nMake sure that both people are compromising. It's not a real compromise if you always end up getting your way, or if your partner always ends up getting what they want.\\nLearn to take turns. Maybe you can pick the dinner place tonight, but they can pick the movie tomorrow.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Say you're sorry.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being a master communicator is learning to say you're sorry if you made a mistake. You may think that admitting you're wrong will only make you look worse, but quite the contrary is true. If you acknowledge that you've made a mistake and even apologize by giving them flowers or a sweet note, they'll like you much more than if you ignore the fact that you did something wrong and hope they'll get over it.\\nIt's not easy to say you're sorry -- it can be very humiliating or embarrassing. But if you get into the habit of apologizing when you've done something wrong, it will feel much more natural.\\nWhen you say you're sorry, you should sound like you mean it. Sit down, look into your partner's eyes, and even take their hands if you need to. This will show them that you're making time to apologize. If you just mutter the word \\\"Sorry\\\" as you pass by, or apologize in a text message, they won't take you seriously.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't fight without reason.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to have disagreements from time to time and to work together to find a solution to the problem, but constantly fighting for no reason and with little provocation is a quick way to ruin your relationship. Teenage couples are prone to fighting a lot because they don't have a lot of experience compromising or having serious discussions with people they're romantically involved with, and this does take practice.\\nWhenever you find yourself raising your voice or even shouting, just calm down and take a few deep breaths. You won't resolve anything if you're feeling emotional or heated.\\nIf you think your partner is starting a lot of fights, communicate about why this is happening and how it can be changed.\\nIf you're kind of annoyed about something minor and have the urge to pick a fight, ask yourself if it's really worth it.\\nDon't let your anger build up -- if you're really mad about something, it's better to communicate about it than to avoid the topic and wait for weeks until so much anger has built up that you feel like fighting.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Creating a Good Relationship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand their moods.\", \"描述\": \"Teenage girls, especially, can be prone to mood swings because of their cycling hormones, and because of the natural confusion that comes with growing up. If you want to be a good boyfriend, then you have to be attentive to their moods and to understand when they're feeling happy or when they're annoyed or even upset. They may be trying to hide their moods, but as you get to know them better, you should understand how they're really feeling.\\nIf they're clearly upset about something, you can ask them to open up about why. If they don't want to talk about it, don't push it or keep asking about it, or they'll feel much worse.\\nIf they're sad, give them some love and affection. Ask if they want to stay in instead of going out, or how they feel like dealing with their mood. They may want to be left alone, or they may just want to snuggle with you.\\nDon't say, \\\"I can tell you're in a bad mood.\\\" Instead, say, \\\"Is something wrong? I'm worried that you're upset. Talk to me.\\\" If you accuse them of being in a bad mood, they may get annoyed and defensive.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do them favors.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be a good boyfriend, then you should be attentive to their needs. Maybe they're really busy during lunch because they have to cram for their Spanish exam -- offer to buy them lunch in the lunch line while they study. If they stay home sick, offer to pick up their homework from their teachers.\\nIf they need a ride somewhere, offer to give them one if you can drive.\\nIf they need help, they may not admit it right away, so be attentive and see if there's anything you can do.\\nMake sure there's a give-and-take balance. If you do favors for them, they should help you out, too. If it's a one-way street, then they may be taking advantage of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be supportive.\", \"描述\": \"You should recognize that your partner is their own person and that you should support them as they try to reach their goals as well as when they deal with any conflict in their life. Here are some ways to be supportive:\\nIf you know they have a big test coming up, then you should either give them space to study or help them if you can.\\nIf they're really passionate about soccer, tennis, or some other school sport, then you should cheer them on the sidelines during their big games.\\nIf they're going through some trouble at home, make sure to be extra attentive and to ask if there's anything you can do. And if they don't want to talk about it, they don't want to talk about it.\\nAsk about their interests. If you know they're passionate about painting or playing the violin, support them by letting them talk about these interests and sharing how much they mean to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to their friends.\", \"描述\": \"It's very important to be attentive to your partner, and it's also key to pay attention to their friends. Friends can make or break teenage relationships, and if their friends love you, they'll tell them how lucky they are to have found an amazing guy like you. But if they don't like you because you're rude or ignore them, they'll tell them that you're a jerk and may even convince them that they can do better and that they should break up with you ASAP.\\nBe friendly to their friends. Say hi, even if your partner isn't around, and ask them how they're doing. You can even talk to them about their interests and get to know them a bit.\\nDon't ignore them. If you approach your partner when they're with a group of friends, make sure to greet them when you do.\\nDon't tell your partner that you don't like their friends. Even if they're a little annoying, they mean a lot to them, and if you admit this, you'll be making a rift in your relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't ignore them in front of your friends.\", \"描述\": \"This is an important point. If your partner is hanging out with you and your buddies, or even if you're hanging out in a group surrounded by all of your friends, you should still pay attention to them and let them know that they're important to you. Don't ditch them as soon as your friends show up, or they'll start to feel like a burden or like a last priority.\\nIf you two are hanging out with your friends, you should sit next to them and include them in the conversation. Don't leave them hanging.\\nHelp your friends get to know them. If your friends are shy or awkward around your partner, it'll be hard to have a good time. Bring up some common interests for your friends and your partner to talk about.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know when they need space.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be attentive, then you should notice when your partner wants to be left alone. Space and privacy are necessary for every healthy relationship, so don't be put off if it seems like your partner wants a night to themselves or even a night with their friends. If you're always around, then your relationship may be becoming too intense. Take some time apart from your partner so you have time to gain perspective and realize how much you miss each other.\\nIf you're always around, then they may start to feel that you're controlling or domineering. Let them do their own thing.\\nIf they want to be alone, be cool with it. If you look upset or hurt, they'll think you're insecure.\\nLeave some room in their schedule. Don't try to plan your weekends so you're together every second and don't have time for your families or other friends.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Showing Them Affection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compliment them\", \"描述\": \"It's natural if you feel a bit shy about complimenting your partner. If you're a teen, then this may be your first, or one of your first relationships, and you may feel awkward about telling your partner that they look nice or for complimenting their outfit, but you should get into the habit of complimenting them. This will let them know that you like them and notice them, and that they mean a lot to you.\\nYou should compliment them even more if they get a new haircut or wear a new outfit.\\nYou can tell them they looks attractive whenever you want to -- it doesn't have to be only when they're all dressed up. If they look cute in a tank top and a pair of casual shorts, let them know.\\nYou don't have to overdo it -- just make sure to compliment them at least once every time you see them.\\nYou don't only have to compliment their looks -- you can compliment an aspect of their personality, like their amazing sense of humor, or you can tell them that they're an amazing gymnast or that they're great at French.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give them physical affection\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be affectionate, you should put your arm around your partner from time to time, hold hands, or even give them a quick kiss when you meet them. You don't have to overwhelm them or put your hands all over them whenever you see them, but you should give them some sign that you like being around them, even if it's just a gentle squeeze on the hand after class.\\n\\nLearn to cuddle. Spend some time hugging them, stroking their hair, or showering them with kisses. Put your arms around their waist! People love this, they feel protected and safe in your arms.\\nOnly be as affectionate as they want you to be. Don't make them feel like they're getting groped in public or like they don't have room to breathe.\\nTake it easy on the PDAs (Public Displays of Affection). You'll find that often, the couples that are the most comfortable with each other don't need to hold hands 24/7 or to make out in public. You can show them affection in public, but only as much as makes them comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask them if they are ready to take the next step.\", \"描述\": \"Do not pressure them though. It will make them very uncomfortable.\\nYou can do this by literally asking them.\\nYou can also try something new out whenever it seems natural, whether during a kiss or something out of the blue. But just be careful to read both their verbal reactions and their physical cues clearly, and stop if they're not comfortable.\\nDon't rush them! Let them work at their own pace. If they say they don't want to, don't keep asking, or you could jeopardize how safe they feel with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give them small gifts\", \"描述\": \"Gifts are a great way to show your affection for your partner, no matter how small or silly they are. If you're a teen, you probably don't have a lot of spending money, and you don't have to save up to get a diamond necklace. Just give them a cute and silly teddy bear for Valentine's Day, a bouquet of flowers on their birthday, or tickets to the movie they wanted to see as a special treat.\\nIt's not the actual gift that counts -- it's the gesture. A gift shows that you've taken the time to think about them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Leave them sweet notes.\", \"描述\": \"Sweet notes are another old-fashioned and romantic way to let your partner know that you've been thinking about them. Leave them in their locker or hand them to them after school, or even at the end of a romantic date. You don't have to say much in the notes -- just tell them that you've been thinking about them and compliment something about them.\\nDon't leave the notes if it feels forced. But if you really want to show your affection this way, they'll love it.\\nYou can also just text them randomly, saying things like \\\"I love you\\\" or \\\"Thinking of you\\\". This feels a little less personal than leaving notes, but it is better than nothing, especially if you're apart for a period of time and can't leave them notes.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make time for romance.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being affectionate is making time when just the two of you can hang out, go on a date, and talk about how much you like each other -- or about nothing at all. You should try to have a \\\"date night\\\" at least once every week or two so you and your partner can have time to make your relationship move forward.\\nYou and your partner can alternate picking where you'll go and what you'll do. Maybe they want to go mini-golfing one weekend and you want to go to the beach another time.\\nAlmost any situation can be romantic if you're alone with your partner and show them lots of affection. You can have a romantic time at the county fair or even when you're watching a silly movie.\\nYou should also make time for the guys, but don't make your partner feel like they're the last priority.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Making it Last\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pursue some interests together.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good boyfriend and to make your relationship last a long time, then you and your partner should find some interests to pursue together. Though it may be hard to do this with your busy schedules, you should find an activity that you both like to do, like playing tennis together on weekends, or trying every sushi restaurant in town.\\nYou can even find a new TV show that you're both addicted to.\\nIt doesn't matter what you do -- what matters is that you're building more interests together, which will give you more to look forward to and to talk about throughout the course of your relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep it fresh.\", \"描述\": \"If you've been with your partner for a while, things can begin to fall into a routine, and you may feel like your relationship is losing that special spark. Make sure to keep things interesting by finding new ways to compliment your partner, going to new spots during your date nights, and finding new interests to pursue together.\\n\\nBe spontaneous. Pick them up after school and drive them to a park for an impromptu picnic.\\nDon't do the same thing every weekend. Make sure you try at least one new thing together every time you go out, even if it means seeing the same movie in a different theater.\\nDon't forget about your looks. You should continue to look nice, even if you've been together for a while. If you slack off in this department, they may think you don't care anymore.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintain some independence.\", \"描述\": \"If you're in a teenage relationship, then it's never a good idea to spend all of your time together with your significant other. Let's face it -- teenage relationships are less likely to last than adult relationships, or even college relationships, so you shouldn't invest 100% of your time in each other or you may both be disappointed. Your relationship can continue to grow and strengthen while both of you still remember who you are without each other.\\nContinue to make time for your guy friends. Don't ditch them completely to hang out with your partner.\\nDon't let your partner ditch their friends to hang out with you all the time, either.\\nDon't stop pursuing your interests just because of your partner. Continue to practice with your band, even if they don't like the music.\\nIf you and your partner are always together, you won't have any room to step back and gain some perspective. Being apart helps you value what you have, and to think about anything that may not be working.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't move too fast.\", \"描述\": \"If you're a teenage guy, then it's likely that you have strong hormonal impulses and want to make out, or do much more, with your partner whenever you can. But whether you want to move a little further than kissing or to go all the way, you have to make sure that your partner is completely ready to take this step.\\nDon't ever pressure your partner to do more than they want to do. They may feel forced to give in to you, and they will regret it later.\\nIf you keep trying to move too fast, your partner may think that you're not in the relationship for the right reasons.\\nLet your partner make the calls sometimes. Wait for them to tell you what they want instead of making it clear that you want more.\\nYou should avoid moving too fast not only in the bedroom, but in general. Don't start talking about college or your potential futures together until you've been together for a long time and feel truly serious about each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Text back.\", \"描述\": \"When you don't text back, they may get paranoid, so when you do text back say \\\"Sorry I took so long, I had to help my mom\\\", or whatever reason you didn't reply. \\nTake care when you text other friends. Partners can get very jealous if they see you texting someone else. However, this doesn't mean you can't text others. If you are going to text another person, just make it clear that you are taken and do not flirt with them. If your partner catches you texting someone in a more than friendly way, they'll drop you faster than hot coal, unless they love you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Remember how lucky you are.\", \"描述\": \"They're attractive, good-looking, lovely, and kind, and that other person you just glanced at is not worth it. Your partner will probably do anything for you, so don't forget how much you mean to them.\\nLet them know you care. Sometimes they will want to be treated like the only person who matters, show them you care about them by telling them so. Listen to their ideas and opinions, if you disagree with them no need to start an argument, sharing ideologies can be fun.\\nDo not talk about their faults. Never ever talk about their faults or flaws, your opinion is very important to them so by saying mean things you could really damage their self-esteem. Recognize their good qualities and make sure they know about them. However, if your partner is... let's say, really bossy and controlling, this may be something you need to point out.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be there for them.\", \"描述\": \"If they are in a spot of trouble, help the person out. Always be there for your partner when they need help and back them up when they need it. If they are sad, try to help them sort out their problems and they should do the same for you. Remember, relationships are a two-way street, they have to put in effort too.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't be paranoid about other guys. Let them talk to other guys, and don't always worry that they're gonna break up with you.\\n\", \"If they think that you are cheating on them or that you like someone else, remind them how much you love them.\\n\", \"Don't say \\\"I love you\\\" until you're sure you mean it.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't cheat on them. Cheating on them is a big no. If you do, they will eventually find out.\\n\", \"Don't try to make them jealous, or suggest that they may be jealous. But if you do suppose they are jealous, give them some extra affection.\\n\", \"Don't let what other people say matter. You're dating them because you like them, so ignore everyone else's opinion.\\n\", \"If they have guy friends, don't get jealous. It's annoying and incredibly clingy.\\n\", \"Don't be jealous of their exes. They're with you, not with them. In the same way, don't make them jealous of your exes. Keep conversations about them to an absolute minimum.\\n\", \"Never ask for nude pictures, and never send any of yourself. If they want you to see them naked, they'll do it for you in person.\\n\", \"Don't tell them you think other people are hot, even if they ask your opinion. This can be very damaging. You don't want to hear about how much they like Taylor Lautner. It's the same with them. They don't want to hear you talk about Megan Fox.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,420 |
How to Be a Good Brother
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1. Setting a Good Example
1-1. Be respectful.
It's important to set an example for your siblings by always being respectful. Be respectful to them, of course, but you should also be respectful to your parents, your teachers, your friends, and even perfect strangers! Being respectful will help them a lot in life and if they learn it from someone they really respect, it will become a lifelong habit.
Don't talk back to your parents or teachers. Politely argue if problems come up but otherwise do what you're told and show your sibling how it's done.
1-2. Be responsible.
It's also very important for your sibling to learn how to be responsible. Don't do drugs or alcohol and do keep up with your chores and help around the house. Do good in school but be humble about your grades. Get a job if your schedule allows and save your money responsibly. This helps you but it also sets a great example for them. They'll see that hard work and sacrifice pay off.
1-3. Use good language.
Definitely don't teach them every bad word in the book, but using good language also means speaking well. Speak correctly and with the best grammar and vocabulary you can manage. They'll pick up on your language and learn a lot. Good speech is often a sign of a better education and many employers consider it essential, so you'll be setting them up for a lifetime of success.
1-4. Avoid violence.
You should try not to be violent towards your siblings and set an extra good example by not being violent towards anyone else either. Kids who learn that being violent is cool from their siblings may go on to violent lifestyles that land them in prison or worse. Instead, solve your problem peaceably and by talking it out. If someone tries to goad you into a fight, be the bigger person and walk away.
Boys who witness their parents being violent are twice as likely to be violent themselves, so what do you think they'll do if they see a brother that they really look up to being violent?
1-5. Be yourself.
Teach your siblings to respect themselves by always being themselves. Do this by being yourself. Pursue the things that you love and don't let popular opinion sway you. Be individual and forget the trends and doing what will make you the most popular. By doing these things, your sibling will learn to be confident in their own. Communicate more with your sibling so you become really close, it helps build your trust.
1-6. Protect others.
Show your siblings that they should always stick up for the little guy and protect people who deserve protection by doing the same yourself. You never know, that little kid getting beat up at school may not have a brother that's able to protect him. Protecting the helpless will teach your siblings how to be good people and will make them respect you even more.
1-7. Do what's right.
Do the right thing, especially when it's hard. This also means apologizing or admitting when you've done something wrong. You want your siblings to be able to do the same, to always do the right thing. This will make both of you better people.
2. Developing a Good Relationship
2-1. Spend time with your siblings.
The best way to start having a better relationship with your siblings is to spend time with them. Hang out, play, go places... it doesn't matter. Do whatever feels right for you. This will give you great memories together and also build a friendship beyond the sibling relationship.
2-2. Build their self-confidence.
You want your siblings to have great self-confidence, so help them boost their confidence. Compliment them when they deserve it, help them build skills and get smarter, and help them do things that they can be proud of. This will also make you happy because not only will they be proud of themselves but you'll be proud of them too.
2-3. Build and keep their trust.
If you want to have a good relationship with your siblings, you should have a lot of trust between you. When they tell you something, don't go and tell your parents. Keep things just between the two of you, unless your sibling asks you to tell your parents. If you can't trust each other, you'll probably have a hard relationship for the rest of your lives.
You should also build their trust by creating a safe place for them to come and talk about their problems. You should never laugh at them or judge them for the things they say to you, so that they know they can always come to you without fear of how you'll react.
2-4. Let them be themselves.
Don't try to make them into you and don't be angry if they don't always make the decisions you wish they would. Respect that they are their own individuals and celebrate them, just the way they are. Try to do some of their unique hobbies with them or at least talk with and ask them about it from time to time.
2-5. See things from their perspective.
You will probably disagree about stuff sometimes. That's just how being siblings goes. But when you argue or when they do something you disagree with, try to see things from their point of view. Sympathize with them and understand that they're probably trying their best. This will help cut down on fights.
Seeing things from their perspective can also be done every day. Appreciating their struggles in life and respecting them for what they go through will give you both a better respect for the other.
2-6. Help them with their problems.
When they have problems, help them! Don't just do it for them but show them how to fix it themselves. This will make their life better in the long run but it will also develop the friendship between you.
However, if they refuse your help, you need to respect their wishes. If they really want to try to do things on their own, the best you can do is to be there for them if they fail or need help still.
2-7. Encourage your siblings.
Encourage your siblings to go out and do what they want with their lives. Encourage them to reach for the stars. Encourage them to be better people. These things will help them achieve more in life and to be happier people. This will save you from the heartbreak of seeing them hurt and suffering.
2-8. Look out for your siblings.
Your siblings might someday run into trouble, whether they're getting bullied or they're hanging out with the wrong crowd. No matter the situation, you should stick up for and protect your sibling, helping them to make better choices as necessary. You may not always win these battles, but your sibling will never have to doubt how much you love them and you'll never have to feel guilty about not doing enough to protect them.
3. Going the Extra Mile
3-1. Comfort your sibling when they're sad.
A good hug and a kind word will go a long way when your sibling is sad. Let them talk about their problems (or not talk about their problems!) and just show them that you're there for them by giving them a hug until they feel better.
3-2. Do nice things for your sibling.
You can do nice things for them by doing what they ask you to do from time to time, or by doing randomly nice things for them, like making them breakfast or helping them clean their room.
3-3. Make then feel good about themselves.
Give your siblings compliments when they do something cool or good. Tell them that they look nice from time to time or compliment their clothes. This can make them feel really good about themselves.
3-4. Get them thoughtful gifts.
When holidays or birthdays roll around, get them presents that are good for them, not just something really generic that anyone would get. Think about what reminds you of them or things that you've done together. Think about things they've said they liked or that they wanted. Think about the things that they'd need. This will help you get the perfect gift.
3-5. Be generous.
Share what you have with your siblings. If they want to borrow your stuff, let them. If you get some candy, share it with them. Never do things like this expecting something in return. Do it because you want to be a good brother.
3-6. Visit and call them when you're older or far apart.
If your sibling is traveling or lives somewhere else, or when you are older and have moved far apart, call them or visit them when you can to show them that you think about them. Don't let your relationship break down because of the distance but instead make it a strong connection that can cross any distance.
Tips
Show that you truly love them.[6]
X
Research source
Your siblings will probably be around for a lot longer than your parents, so it's important to have a good relationship with them. Someday, they might be your only living family!
Spend time together playing games or sports to develop great memories together.
Warnings
Do not try to boss your siblings around if they have hard feelings against you because it might make them very angry and carry on to do something that could send them on a very, VERY bad trail.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Setting a Good Example\\n1-1. Be respectful.\\nIt's important to set an example for your siblings by always being respectful. Be respectful to them, of course, but you should also be respectful to your parents, your teachers, your friends, and even perfect strangers! Being respectful will help them a lot in life and if they learn it from someone they really respect, it will become a lifelong habit.\\nDon't talk back to your parents or teachers. Politely argue if problems come up but otherwise do what you're told and show your sibling how it's done.\\n1-2. Be responsible.\\nIt's also very important for your sibling to learn how to be responsible. Don't do drugs or alcohol and do keep up with your chores and help around the house. Do good in school but be humble about your grades. Get a job if your schedule allows and save your money responsibly. This helps you but it also sets a great example for them. They'll see that hard work and sacrifice pay off.\\n1-3. Use good language.\\nDefinitely don't teach them every bad word in the book, but using good language also means speaking well. Speak correctly and with the best grammar and vocabulary you can manage. They'll pick up on your language and learn a lot. Good speech is often a sign of a better education and many employers consider it essential, so you'll be setting them up for a lifetime of success.\\n1-4. Avoid violence.\\nYou should try not to be violent towards your siblings and set an extra good example by not being violent towards anyone else either. Kids who learn that being violent is cool from their siblings may go on to violent lifestyles that land them in prison or worse. Instead, solve your problem peaceably and by talking it out. If someone tries to goad you into a fight, be the bigger person and walk away.\\nBoys who witness their parents being violent are twice as likely to be violent themselves, so what do you think they'll do if they see a brother that they really look up to being violent?\\n1-5. Be yourself.\\nTeach your siblings to respect themselves by always being themselves. Do this by being yourself. Pursue the things that you love and don't let popular opinion sway you. Be individual and forget the trends and doing what will make you the most popular. By doing these things, your sibling will learn to be confident in their own. Communicate more with your sibling so you become really close, it helps build your trust.\\n1-6. Protect others.\\nShow your siblings that they should always stick up for the little guy and protect people who deserve protection by doing the same yourself. You never know, that little kid getting beat up at school may not have a brother that's able to protect him. Protecting the helpless will teach your siblings how to be good people and will make them respect you even more.\\n1-7. Do what's right.\\nDo the right thing, especially when it's hard. This also means apologizing or admitting when you've done something wrong. You want your siblings to be able to do the same, to always do the right thing. This will make both of you better people.\\n2. Developing a Good Relationship\\n2-1. Spend time with your siblings.\\nThe best way to start having a better relationship with your siblings is to spend time with them. Hang out, play, go places... it doesn't matter. Do whatever feels right for you. This will give you great memories together and also build a friendship beyond the sibling relationship.\\n2-2. Build their self-confidence.\\nYou want your siblings to have great self-confidence, so help them boost their confidence. Compliment them when they deserve it, help them build skills and get smarter, and help them do things that they can be proud of. This will also make you happy because not only will they be proud of themselves but you'll be proud of them too.\\n2-3. Build and keep their trust.\\nIf you want to have a good relationship with your siblings, you should have a lot of trust between you. When they tell you something, don't go and tell your parents. Keep things just between the two of you, unless your sibling asks you to tell your parents. If you can't trust each other, you'll probably have a hard relationship for the rest of your lives.\\nYou should also build their trust by creating a safe place for them to come and talk about their problems. You should never laugh at them or judge them for the things they say to you, so that they know they can always come to you without fear of how you'll react.\\n2-4. Let them be themselves.\\nDon't try to make them into you and don't be angry if they don't always make the decisions you wish they would. Respect that they are their own individuals and celebrate them, just the way they are. Try to do some of their unique hobbies with them or at least talk with and ask them about it from time to time.\\n2-5. See things from their perspective.\\nYou will probably disagree about stuff sometimes. That's just how being siblings goes. But when you argue or when they do something you disagree with, try to see things from their point of view. Sympathize with them and understand that they're probably trying their best. This will help cut down on fights.\\nSeeing things from their perspective can also be done every day. Appreciating their struggles in life and respecting them for what they go through will give you both a better respect for the other.\\n2-6. Help them with their problems.\\nWhen they have problems, help them! Don't just do it for them but show them how to fix it themselves. This will make their life better in the long run but it will also develop the friendship between you.\\nHowever, if they refuse your help, you need to respect their wishes. If they really want to try to do things on their own, the best you can do is to be there for them if they fail or need help still.\\n2-7. Encourage your siblings.\\nEncourage your siblings to go out and do what they want with their lives. Encourage them to reach for the stars. Encourage them to be better people. These things will help them achieve more in life and to be happier people. This will save you from the heartbreak of seeing them hurt and suffering.\\n2-8. Look out for your siblings.\\nYour siblings might someday run into trouble, whether they're getting bullied or they're hanging out with the wrong crowd. No matter the situation, you should stick up for and protect your sibling, helping them to make better choices as necessary. You may not always win these battles, but your sibling will never have to doubt how much you love them and you'll never have to feel guilty about not doing enough to protect them.\\n3. Going the Extra Mile\\n3-1. Comfort your sibling when they're sad.\\nA good hug and a kind word will go a long way when your sibling is sad. Let them talk about their problems (or not talk about their problems!) and just show them that you're there for them by giving them a hug until they feel better.\\n3-2. Do nice things for your sibling.\\nYou can do nice things for them by doing what they ask you to do from time to time, or by doing randomly nice things for them, like making them breakfast or helping them clean their room.\\n3-3. Make then feel good about themselves.\\nGive your siblings compliments when they do something cool or good. Tell them that they look nice from time to time or compliment their clothes. This can make them feel really good about themselves.\\n3-4. Get them thoughtful gifts.\\nWhen holidays or birthdays roll around, get them presents that are good for them, not just something really generic that anyone would get. Think about what reminds you of them or things that you've done together. Think about things they've said they liked or that they wanted. Think about the things that they'd need. This will help you get the perfect gift.\\n3-5. Be generous.\\nShare what you have with your siblings. If they want to borrow your stuff, let them. If you get some candy, share it with them. Never do things like this expecting something in return. Do it because you want to be a good brother.\\n3-6. Visit and call them when you're older or far apart.\\nIf your sibling is traveling or lives somewhere else, or when you are older and have moved far apart, call them or visit them when you can to show them that you think about them. Don't let your relationship break down because of the distance but instead make it a strong connection that can cross any distance.\\nTips\\nShow that you truly love them.[6]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nYour siblings will probably be around for a lot longer than your parents, so it's important to have a good relationship with them. Someday, they might be your only living family!\\nSpend time together playing games or sports to develop great memories together.\\nWarnings\\nDo not try to boss your siblings around if they have hard feelings against you because it might make them very angry and carry on to do something that could send them on a very, VERY bad trail.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to learn how to set a good example or improve your relationship with your siblings? Are you about to become a brother for the first time? Keep reading for detailed instructions on how to be a good brother and set the perfect example for your siblings!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Setting a Good Example\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to set an example for your siblings by always being respectful. Be respectful to them, of course, but you should also be respectful to your parents, your teachers, your friends, and even perfect strangers! Being respectful will help them a lot in life and if they learn it from someone they really respect, it will become a lifelong habit.\\nDon't talk back to your parents or teachers. Politely argue if problems come up but otherwise do what you're told and show your sibling how it's done.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be responsible.\", \"描述\": \"It's also very important for your sibling to learn how to be responsible. Don't do drugs or alcohol and do keep up with your chores and help around the house. Do good in school but be humble about your grades. Get a job if your schedule allows and save your money responsibly. This helps you but it also sets a great example for them. They'll see that hard work and sacrifice pay off.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use good language.\", \"描述\": \"Definitely don't teach them every bad word in the book, but using good language also means speaking well. Speak correctly and with the best grammar and vocabulary you can manage. They'll pick up on your language and learn a lot. Good speech is often a sign of a better education and many employers consider it essential, so you'll be setting them up for a lifetime of success.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid violence.\", \"描述\": \"You should try not to be violent towards your siblings and set an extra good example by not being violent towards anyone else either. Kids who learn that being violent is cool from their siblings may go on to violent lifestyles that land them in prison or worse. Instead, solve your problem peaceably and by talking it out. If someone tries to goad you into a fight, be the bigger person and walk away.\\nBoys who witness their parents being violent are twice as likely to be violent themselves, so what do you think they'll do if they see a brother that they really look up to being violent?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Teach your siblings to respect themselves by always being themselves. Do this by being yourself. Pursue the things that you love and don't let popular opinion sway you. Be individual and forget the trends and doing what will make you the most popular. By doing these things, your sibling will learn to be confident in their own. Communicate more with your sibling so you become really close, it helps build your trust.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Protect others.\", \"描述\": \"Show your siblings that they should always stick up for the little guy and protect people who deserve protection by doing the same yourself. You never know, that little kid getting beat up at school may not have a brother that's able to protect him. Protecting the helpless will teach your siblings how to be good people and will make them respect you even more.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Do what's right.\", \"描述\": \"Do the right thing, especially when it's hard. This also means apologizing or admitting when you've done something wrong. You want your siblings to be able to do the same, to always do the right thing. This will make both of you better people.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing a Good Relationship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend time with your siblings.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to start having a better relationship with your siblings is to spend time with them. Hang out, play, go places... it doesn't matter. Do whatever feels right for you. This will give you great memories together and also build a friendship beyond the sibling relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Build their self-confidence.\", \"描述\": \"You want your siblings to have great self-confidence, so help them boost their confidence. Compliment them when they deserve it, help them build skills and get smarter, and help them do things that they can be proud of. This will also make you happy because not only will they be proud of themselves but you'll be proud of them too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build and keep their trust.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to have a good relationship with your siblings, you should have a lot of trust between you. When they tell you something, don't go and tell your parents. Keep things just between the two of you, unless your sibling asks you to tell your parents. If you can't trust each other, you'll probably have a hard relationship for the rest of your lives.\\nYou should also build their trust by creating a safe place for them to come and talk about their problems. You should never laugh at them or judge them for the things they say to you, so that they know they can always come to you without fear of how you'll react.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let them be themselves.\", \"描述\": \"Don't try to make them into you and don't be angry if they don't always make the decisions you wish they would. Respect that they are their own individuals and celebrate them, just the way they are. Try to do some of their unique hobbies with them or at least talk with and ask them about it from time to time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"See things from their perspective.\", \"描述\": \"You will probably disagree about stuff sometimes. That's just how being siblings goes. But when you argue or when they do something you disagree with, try to see things from their point of view. Sympathize with them and understand that they're probably trying their best. This will help cut down on fights.\\nSeeing things from their perspective can also be done every day. Appreciating their struggles in life and respecting them for what they go through will give you both a better respect for the other.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Help them with their problems.\", \"描述\": \"When they have problems, help them! Don't just do it for them but show them how to fix it themselves. This will make their life better in the long run but it will also develop the friendship between you.\\nHowever, if they refuse your help, you need to respect their wishes. If they really want to try to do things on their own, the best you can do is to be there for them if they fail or need help still.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Encourage your siblings.\", \"描述\": \"Encourage your siblings to go out and do what they want with their lives. Encourage them to reach for the stars. Encourage them to be better people. These things will help them achieve more in life and to be happier people. This will save you from the heartbreak of seeing them hurt and suffering.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Look out for your siblings.\", \"描述\": \"Your siblings might someday run into trouble, whether they're getting bullied or they're hanging out with the wrong crowd. No matter the situation, you should stick up for and protect your sibling, helping them to make better choices as necessary. You may not always win these battles, but your sibling will never have to doubt how much you love them and you'll never have to feel guilty about not doing enough to protect them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Going the Extra Mile\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Comfort your sibling when they're sad.\", \"描述\": \"A good hug and a kind word will go a long way when your sibling is sad. Let them talk about their problems (or not talk about their problems!) and just show them that you're there for them by giving them a hug until they feel better.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do nice things for your sibling.\", \"描述\": \"You can do nice things for them by doing what they ask you to do from time to time, or by doing randomly nice things for them, like making them breakfast or helping them clean their room.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make then feel good about themselves.\", \"描述\": \"Give your siblings compliments when they do something cool or good. Tell them that they look nice from time to time or compliment their clothes. This can make them feel really good about themselves.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get them thoughtful gifts.\", \"描述\": \"When holidays or birthdays roll around, get them presents that are good for them, not just something really generic that anyone would get. Think about what reminds you of them or things that you've done together. Think about things they've said they liked or that they wanted. Think about the things that they'd need. This will help you get the perfect gift.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be generous.\", \"描述\": \"Share what you have with your siblings. If they want to borrow your stuff, let them. If you get some candy, share it with them. Never do things like this expecting something in return. Do it because you want to be a good brother.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Visit and call them when you're older or far apart.\", \"描述\": \"If your sibling is traveling or lives somewhere else, or when you are older and have moved far apart, call them or visit them when you can to show them that you think about them. Don't let your relationship break down because of the distance but instead make it a strong connection that can cross any distance.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Show that you truly love them.[6]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Your siblings will probably be around for a lot longer than your parents, so it's important to have a good relationship with them. Someday, they might be your only living family!\\n\", \"Spend time together playing games or sports to develop great memories together.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not try to boss your siblings around if they have hard feelings against you because it might make them very angry and carry on to do something that could send them on a very, VERY bad trail.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,421 |
How to Be a Good Car Salesman
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1. Making the Customer Feel Welcomed
1-1. Greet the customer with enthusiasm.
When a customer enters your dealership, approach them with confidence, warmth and kindness. First impression is so important and the customer needs to feel like you are being authentic with them. Meet the customer in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming or overbearing, but in a way that shows you are there to help.
The upfront approach -- walk to the customers, greet them with a firm handshake and smile, and begin asking questions about what kind of car they are looking for.
The hands off approach -- walk up to a potential customer, shake hands firmly and offer a quick greeting. Then, hand them your business card and say "Hi my name is X, here are my contact details. My desk is over there, so take a look around and when you've found something you like or have questions come over and I can assist you. Also, if another salesperson approaches you, inform them I am assisting you." (The problem with this approach is your customer won't likely feel any attachment to you, and so they may move on to someone else or leave the dealership with no information gained.)
1-2. Create small talk.
Although this can be frustrating for some customers who just want to "get in and get out," striking up a conversation with customers can help build rapport and help them feel more comfortable trusting you as their salesman.
One of the biggest influences in building your customers' trust is showing them that you're not just interested in selling them a car. Show them that you want to build a relationship with them.
Ask them about their family, job, interests, etc. Find something in common with them and build trust through that connection.
People love talking about themselves, and they feel respected when they have a chance to be heard. Be so likable that your customers refer you to their friends and family.
1-3. Exhibit positive body language.
When talking to customers, make eye contact with them so they know that you are really interested in what they have to say. Using body language that is friendly and welcoming will also make your customer feel more at ease.
Be authentic. Don't just put on a happy face to make a sale. Actually care about your customers' needs and sympathize with them. Customers will likely be able to tell if you dislike the part of your job that involves interacting with customers, or if you're trying to speed them through "meet and greet" so you can start showing them cars. Be patient and don't force any decision on your customer.
1-4. Ask good questions.
After you greet customers, make sure you give them the opportunity to share what they are looking for, or to share that they aren't sure what they want and so they just need time to look around.
Refrain from "yes" or " no" or broad questions if you don't want your customer to easily walk away. By asking "Can I help you today?" or "How can I help you today?" a customer can easily respond with "I'm just looking, thanks" and then you've likely lost your chance at selling a car.
Try asking more directed questions like "Are you looking for a sedan or SUV today?" or "what type of vehicle can I help you find today?" Customers may still be disinterested in your help, but you have a lot better chance of keeping their attention and it will be much less awkward if you follow them around the showroom. This also allows customers to share their thoughts on the type of car they are looking for and allows you to match the needs of your customer with one of your vehicles.
2. Working with Your Customer
2-1. Find out the particulars.
After you've figured out what type of car your customers are looking for, narrow down the search by asking them specifics about their budget, the space they require, any special features they may want.
Part of your job may be to sell them those extra features like the navigation system, heated and cooled seats, blind spot detection, extended warranty plan, etc. Selling these extra features to your customers will be much easier if you learn what they need and what they want.
2-2. Talk exchanges.
Ask customers if they have a vehicle they wish to part exchange. It's good to do this before you begin showing them new cars, because you can figure out the customers' buying motive, and will also be able to see what they feel is lacking in old car. It also allows the customer to relax when they begin looking at new cars, because they know their old car is already taken care of.
Make it clear that the sales manager is the one who will appraise their car. Explain to them that the manager's job is to get them the best possible deal for their car.
After looking over the vehicle, noting any damage, and asking any questions you may have about it, take their appraisal form into your sales managers office. It should take him only a minute or so to come up with his initial offer, but inform the customer it will take about 10 minutes and use that time to begin looking at new cars.
2-3. Discuss pricing and budgets.
As you begin looking at new cars, ask customers what they are hoping to spend. You want to offer your customer the best deal while also making sure you can get the most out of the sale as well.
Ask customers what their desired monthly payment is, and work on lowering the monthly payment for your customer while extending the loan period.
Some customers will come in and refuse to talk monthly payments. They may only want to talk about the total price of the car. In that case, if you are unable to lower the price of the car in order to complete the sale, offer them extra features such as 12 months road tax at no extra cost or other features that you can add that will make the price seem more fair for the customer but won't cost you much.
2-4. Take your customer for a test drive in a new car.
Tests drives are crucial for a sale, because customers need to feel comfortable in the vehicle they buy.
As you sit in the passenger seat, ask customers how they like certain aspects of the car and if the car feels different from their previous vehicle. Ask them if there are things they don't like about the functionality or feel of the car and then use those comments to find another car more fit for them.
If your customers seem pleased with the car, ask them "Is this the car for you?" and if the answer is yes, go on to seal the deal! If your customer still isn't sure, try suggesting other cars you think would be a good fit.
3. Sealing the Deal
3-1. Discuss the price with your manager.
After your customer has picked out a car and you've come to a compromise on the price, bring the price to your sales manager at an even lower price.
For example, if your customer says they can pay $200 a month, tell your manager $150 a month. This will give you more credibility with your customer and at the end of the day the important thing is that you've made a sale and have a pleased customer that may refer you to friends or will give you a high rating on your C.S.I (customer satisfaction index).
3-2. Don't let your customer lie to you.
Often times your customers will bring in a white lie about what they can afford, or what the dealership down the street is planning on offering them for their trade-in. Overcome these objections by being understanding but persistent. Explain to them that your appraisal of their car is accurate and a good deal.
Customers looking for a trade-in often times will value their car through Kelly Blue Book, but that value is only accurate if they can sell their car at full Kelly Blue Book retail. Every month a car loses 2% of its value, and then you have to attach all the expenses to it that make it ready to sell like tires, brakes, the noise in the back, that light that won't turn on, the safety check, and reconditioning. Also, if another customer comes in and wants to offer less for the car than what it is priced at, the dealership will likely take it because they want to make the sale, thus the customer's car is likely to bring in less than what they believe it will. Explaining this to your customers is important so they understand that you aren't swindling them in price.
3-3. Close the sale.
Now that you have discussed pricing and gotten a definite number from your manager, it's time to complete the sale. Sign the paperwork, arrange a collection date, and always stay in contact with the customer to prevent any problems.
4. Standing Out Among Other Salesmen
4-1. Walk the floor each morning.
In order to compete with other salesman and to show your customers you are genuinely interested in the cars you are selling them, know what's on your showroom floor. Learn the cars on hand, any specials your dealership is offering, cars that may be good for people with bad credit, and anything else that could be beneficial to communicate to your customer.
4-2. Be familiar with competitor's products.
Study the cars other dealerships are selling, and learn why it would be more beneficial for your customer to buy from your dealership. Know every model and option your company offers as well as those of your competitors.
This will take a lot of studying, but it will be worth it because you'll know exactly why your product is better and won't have to make something up and potentially lie to your customer.
4-3. Follow up with potential customers.
After you meet a customer and get to know them, write down all of the information you learned in your CRM (customer relationship management). Then you'll know the best time and way to reach them.
You can continue to do this until you've reached them or until they ask you to stop contacting them. Some people may get frustrated if you continue to call them, but look at it this way, those people probably weren't going to buy from you anyways so you haven't lost anything.
4-4. Make friends with your sales managers.
These are the people that are ultimately going to help you seal the deal and they can also offer you "house deals," which are about a third of the deals that take place at a dealership. If you're friendly with your manager and they trust you, they'll be able to put you on deals that are generated from the internet or from people at the dealership who know people who want to buy cars.
House deals consist of "phone-ups," customers who call in on the phone, or "internet leads," customers who visited a website and are interested in buying a car. These are called house deals because the dealership owns them until the manager divides them up between salesmen.
Sales managers play a big part in your success at the dealership. If you haven't built any relationship with them and they decide they don't like you they can starve you of deals and leave you empty handed, or give you such insufficient help that you eventually quit.
Tips
If business is slow, pick up the phone. Use the database, find out who bought cars from you three years ago and phone them to advise them of new deals you have at the branch.
Greet everyone, be friendly, and smile. Making a name for yourself at your dealership is vital to making more sales.
Keeping a daily log is very important - if you say you are going to contact someone on a particular day at a particular time then do it.
Warnings
Don't come across as desperate. This shows that you don't have faith that your product can sell itself, and your customers will pick up on it.
Don't lie to your customers. Always be truthful about deals and about the vehicles you are selling.
Never insult other salespeople or competitors. It is unprofessional and the customers will not appreciate it. Always try to draw the customer's attention to the good things about your vehicles.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making the Customer Feel Welcomed\\n1-1. Greet the customer with enthusiasm.\\nWhen a customer enters your dealership, approach them with confidence, warmth and kindness. First impression is so important and the customer needs to feel like you are being authentic with them. Meet the customer in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming or overbearing, but in a way that shows you are there to help.\\nThe upfront approach -- walk to the customers, greet them with a firm handshake and smile, and begin asking questions about what kind of car they are looking for.\\nThe hands off approach -- walk up to a potential customer, shake hands firmly and offer a quick greeting. Then, hand them your business card and say \\\"Hi my name is X, here are my contact details. My desk is over there, so take a look around and when you've found something you like or have questions come over and I can assist you. Also, if another salesperson approaches you, inform them I am assisting you.\\\" (The problem with this approach is your customer won't likely feel any attachment to you, and so they may move on to someone else or leave the dealership with no information gained.)\\n1-2. Create small talk.\\nAlthough this can be frustrating for some customers who just want to \\\"get in and get out,\\\" striking up a conversation with customers can help build rapport and help them feel more comfortable trusting you as their salesman.\\nOne of the biggest influences in building your customers' trust is showing them that you're not just interested in selling them a car. Show them that you want to build a relationship with them.\\nAsk them about their family, job, interests, etc. Find something in common with them and build trust through that connection.\\nPeople love talking about themselves, and they feel respected when they have a chance to be heard. Be so likable that your customers refer you to their friends and family.\\n1-3. Exhibit positive body language.\\nWhen talking to customers, make eye contact with them so they know that you are really interested in what they have to say. Using body language that is friendly and welcoming will also make your customer feel more at ease.\\nBe authentic. Don't just put on a happy face to make a sale. Actually care about your customers' needs and sympathize with them. Customers will likely be able to tell if you dislike the part of your job that involves interacting with customers, or if you're trying to speed them through \\\"meet and greet\\\" so you can start showing them cars. Be patient and don't force any decision on your customer.\\n1-4. Ask good questions.\\nAfter you greet customers, make sure you give them the opportunity to share what they are looking for, or to share that they aren't sure what they want and so they just need time to look around.\\nRefrain from \\\"yes\\\" or \\\" no\\\" or broad questions if you don't want your customer to easily walk away. By asking \\\"Can I help you today?\\\" or \\\"How can I help you today?\\\" a customer can easily respond with \\\"I'm just looking, thanks\\\" and then you've likely lost your chance at selling a car.\\nTry asking more directed questions like \\\"Are you looking for a sedan or SUV today?\\\" or \\\"what type of vehicle can I help you find today?\\\" Customers may still be disinterested in your help, but you have a lot better chance of keeping their attention and it will be much less awkward if you follow them around the showroom. This also allows customers to share their thoughts on the type of car they are looking for and allows you to match the needs of your customer with one of your vehicles.\\n2. Working with Your Customer\\n2-1. Find out the particulars.\\nAfter you've figured out what type of car your customers are looking for, narrow down the search by asking them specifics about their budget, the space they require, any special features they may want.\\nPart of your job may be to sell them those extra features like the navigation system, heated and cooled seats, blind spot detection, extended warranty plan, etc. Selling these extra features to your customers will be much easier if you learn what they need and what they want.\\n2-2. Talk exchanges.\\nAsk customers if they have a vehicle they wish to part exchange. It's good to do this before you begin showing them new cars, because you can figure out the customers' buying motive, and will also be able to see what they feel is lacking in old car. It also allows the customer to relax when they begin looking at new cars, because they know their old car is already taken care of.\\nMake it clear that the sales manager is the one who will appraise their car. Explain to them that the manager's job is to get them the best possible deal for their car.\\nAfter looking over the vehicle, noting any damage, and asking any questions you may have about it, take their appraisal form into your sales managers office. It should take him only a minute or so to come up with his initial offer, but inform the customer it will take about 10 minutes and use that time to begin looking at new cars.\\n2-3. Discuss pricing and budgets.\\nAs you begin looking at new cars, ask customers what they are hoping to spend. You want to offer your customer the best deal while also making sure you can get the most out of the sale as well.\\nAsk customers what their desired monthly payment is, and work on lowering the monthly payment for your customer while extending the loan period.\\nSome customers will come in and refuse to talk monthly payments. They may only want to talk about the total price of the car. In that case, if you are unable to lower the price of the car in order to complete the sale, offer them extra features such as 12 months road tax at no extra cost or other features that you can add that will make the price seem more fair for the customer but won't cost you much.\\n2-4. Take your customer for a test drive in a new car.\\nTests drives are crucial for a sale, because customers need to feel comfortable in the vehicle they buy.\\nAs you sit in the passenger seat, ask customers how they like certain aspects of the car and if the car feels different from their previous vehicle. Ask them if there are things they don't like about the functionality or feel of the car and then use those comments to find another car more fit for them.\\nIf your customers seem pleased with the car, ask them \\\"Is this the car for you?\\\" and if the answer is yes, go on to seal the deal! If your customer still isn't sure, try suggesting other cars you think would be a good fit.\\n3. Sealing the Deal\\n3-1. Discuss the price with your manager.\\nAfter your customer has picked out a car and you've come to a compromise on the price, bring the price to your sales manager at an even lower price.\\nFor example, if your customer says they can pay $200 a month, tell your manager $150 a month. This will give you more credibility with your customer and at the end of the day the important thing is that you've made a sale and have a pleased customer that may refer you to friends or will give you a high rating on your C.S.I (customer satisfaction index).\\n3-2. Don't let your customer lie to you.\\nOften times your customers will bring in a white lie about what they can afford, or what the dealership down the street is planning on offering them for their trade-in. Overcome these objections by being understanding but persistent. Explain to them that your appraisal of their car is accurate and a good deal. \\nCustomers looking for a trade-in often times will value their car through Kelly Blue Book, but that value is only accurate if they can sell their car at full Kelly Blue Book retail. Every month a car loses 2% of its value, and then you have to attach all the expenses to it that make it ready to sell like tires, brakes, the noise in the back, that light that won't turn on, the safety check, and reconditioning. Also, if another customer comes in and wants to offer less for the car than what it is priced at, the dealership will likely take it because they want to make the sale, thus the customer's car is likely to bring in less than what they believe it will. Explaining this to your customers is important so they understand that you aren't swindling them in price.\\n3-3. Close the sale.\\nNow that you have discussed pricing and gotten a definite number from your manager, it's time to complete the sale. Sign the paperwork, arrange a collection date, and always stay in contact with the customer to prevent any problems.\\n4. Standing Out Among Other Salesmen\\n4-1. Walk the floor each morning.\\nIn order to compete with other salesman and to show your customers you are genuinely interested in the cars you are selling them, know what's on your showroom floor. Learn the cars on hand, any specials your dealership is offering, cars that may be good for people with bad credit, and anything else that could be beneficial to communicate to your customer.\\n4-2. Be familiar with competitor's products.\\nStudy the cars other dealerships are selling, and learn why it would be more beneficial for your customer to buy from your dealership. Know every model and option your company offers as well as those of your competitors.\\nThis will take a lot of studying, but it will be worth it because you'll know exactly why your product is better and won't have to make something up and potentially lie to your customer.\\n4-3. Follow up with potential customers.\\nAfter you meet a customer and get to know them, write down all of the information you learned in your CRM (customer relationship management). Then you'll know the best time and way to reach them.\\nYou can continue to do this until you've reached them or until they ask you to stop contacting them. Some people may get frustrated if you continue to call them, but look at it this way, those people probably weren't going to buy from you anyways so you haven't lost anything.\\n4-4. Make friends with your sales managers.\\nThese are the people that are ultimately going to help you seal the deal and they can also offer you \\\"house deals,\\\" which are about a third of the deals that take place at a dealership. If you're friendly with your manager and they trust you, they'll be able to put you on deals that are generated from the internet or from people at the dealership who know people who want to buy cars.\\nHouse deals consist of \\\"phone-ups,\\\" customers who call in on the phone, or \\\"internet leads,\\\" customers who visited a website and are interested in buying a car. These are called house deals because the dealership owns them until the manager divides them up between salesmen.\\nSales managers play a big part in your success at the dealership. If you haven't built any relationship with them and they decide they don't like you they can starve you of deals and leave you empty handed, or give you such insufficient help that you eventually quit.\\nTips\\nIf business is slow, pick up the phone. Use the database, find out who bought cars from you three years ago and phone them to advise them of new deals you have at the branch.\\nGreet everyone, be friendly, and smile. Making a name for yourself at your dealership is vital to making more sales.\\nKeeping a daily log is very important - if you say you are going to contact someone on a particular day at a particular time then do it.\\nWarnings\\nDon't come across as desperate. This shows that you don't have faith that your product can sell itself, and your customers will pick up on it.\\nDon't lie to your customers. Always be truthful about deals and about the vehicles you are selling.\\nNever insult other salespeople or competitors. It is unprofessional and the customers will not appreciate it. Always try to draw the customer's attention to the good things about your vehicles.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a car salesman isn't just about selling a product to the customer, it's an art and a science. Personality, appearance, authenticity, and your ability to persuade all play a part in working in a car dealership. Many people walk into a dealership and already have a negative perception of car salesmen, and so your job is to change that image into something positive for the customer. You want to show them that you know what you're talking about and you want to get them the best deal possible. So, it's important to know a few key things about how to interact with your customers and how to, at the end of the conversation, have your customer satisfied with their experience and eager to purchase a car from you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making the Customer Feel Welcomed\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Greet the customer with enthusiasm.\", \"描述\": \"When a customer enters your dealership, approach them with confidence, warmth and kindness. First impression is so important and the customer needs to feel like you are being authentic with them. Meet the customer in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming or overbearing, but in a way that shows you are there to help.\\nThe upfront approach -- walk to the customers, greet them with a firm handshake and smile, and begin asking questions about what kind of car they are looking for.\\nThe hands off approach -- walk up to a potential customer, shake hands firmly and offer a quick greeting. Then, hand them your business card and say \\\"Hi my name is X, here are my contact details. My desk is over there, so take a look around and when you've found something you like or have questions come over and I can assist you. Also, if another salesperson approaches you, inform them I am assisting you.\\\" (The problem with this approach is your customer won't likely feel any attachment to you, and so they may move on to someone else or leave the dealership with no information gained.)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create small talk.\", \"描述\": \"Although this can be frustrating for some customers who just want to \\\"get in and get out,\\\" striking up a conversation with customers can help build rapport and help them feel more comfortable trusting you as their salesman.\\nOne of the biggest influences in building your customers' trust is showing them that you're not just interested in selling them a car. Show them that you want to build a relationship with them.\\nAsk them about their family, job, interests, etc. Find something in common with them and build trust through that connection.\\nPeople love talking about themselves, and they feel respected when they have a chance to be heard. Be so likable that your customers refer you to their friends and family.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exhibit positive body language.\", \"描述\": \"When talking to customers, make eye contact with them so they know that you are really interested in what they have to say. Using body language that is friendly and welcoming will also make your customer feel more at ease.\\nBe authentic. Don't just put on a happy face to make a sale. Actually care about your customers' needs and sympathize with them. Customers will likely be able to tell if you dislike the part of your job that involves interacting with customers, or if you're trying to speed them through \\\"meet and greet\\\" so you can start showing them cars. Be patient and don't force any decision on your customer.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask good questions.\", \"描述\": \"After you greet customers, make sure you give them the opportunity to share what they are looking for, or to share that they aren't sure what they want and so they just need time to look around.\\nRefrain from \\\"yes\\\" or \\\" no\\\" or broad questions if you don't want your customer to easily walk away. By asking \\\"Can I help you today?\\\" or \\\"How can I help you today?\\\" a customer can easily respond with \\\"I'm just looking, thanks\\\" and then you've likely lost your chance at selling a car.\\nTry asking more directed questions like \\\"Are you looking for a sedan or SUV today?\\\" or \\\"what type of vehicle can I help you find today?\\\" Customers may still be disinterested in your help, but you have a lot better chance of keeping their attention and it will be much less awkward if you follow them around the showroom. This also allows customers to share their thoughts on the type of car they are looking for and allows you to match the needs of your customer with one of your vehicles.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Working with Your Customer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out the particulars.\", \"描述\": \"After you've figured out what type of car your customers are looking for, narrow down the search by asking them specifics about their budget, the space they require, any special features they may want.\\nPart of your job may be to sell them those extra features like the navigation system, heated and cooled seats, blind spot detection, extended warranty plan, etc. Selling these extra features to your customers will be much easier if you learn what they need and what they want.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk exchanges.\", \"描述\": \"Ask customers if they have a vehicle they wish to part exchange. It's good to do this before you begin showing them new cars, because you can figure out the customers' buying motive, and will also be able to see what they feel is lacking in old car. It also allows the customer to relax when they begin looking at new cars, because they know their old car is already taken care of.\\nMake it clear that the sales manager is the one who will appraise their car. Explain to them that the manager's job is to get them the best possible deal for their car.\\nAfter looking over the vehicle, noting any damage, and asking any questions you may have about it, take their appraisal form into your sales managers office. It should take him only a minute or so to come up with his initial offer, but inform the customer it will take about 10 minutes and use that time to begin looking at new cars.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Discuss pricing and budgets.\", \"描述\": \"As you begin looking at new cars, ask customers what they are hoping to spend. You want to offer your customer the best deal while also making sure you can get the most out of the sale as well.\\nAsk customers what their desired monthly payment is, and work on lowering the monthly payment for your customer while extending the loan period.\\nSome customers will come in and refuse to talk monthly payments. They may only want to talk about the total price of the car. In that case, if you are unable to lower the price of the car in order to complete the sale, offer them extra features such as 12 months road tax at no extra cost or other features that you can add that will make the price seem more fair for the customer but won't cost you much.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take your customer for a test drive in a new car.\", \"描述\": \"Tests drives are crucial for a sale, because customers need to feel comfortable in the vehicle they buy.\\nAs you sit in the passenger seat, ask customers how they like certain aspects of the car and if the car feels different from their previous vehicle. Ask them if there are things they don't like about the functionality or feel of the car and then use those comments to find another car more fit for them.\\nIf your customers seem pleased with the car, ask them \\\"Is this the car for you?\\\" and if the answer is yes, go on to seal the deal! If your customer still isn't sure, try suggesting other cars you think would be a good fit.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sealing the Deal\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discuss the price with your manager.\", \"描述\": \"After your customer has picked out a car and you've come to a compromise on the price, bring the price to your sales manager at an even lower price.\\nFor example, if your customer says they can pay $200 a month, tell your manager $150 a month. This will give you more credibility with your customer and at the end of the day the important thing is that you've made a sale and have a pleased customer that may refer you to friends or will give you a high rating on your C.S.I (customer satisfaction index).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't let your customer lie to you.\", \"描述\": \"Often times your customers will bring in a white lie about what they can afford, or what the dealership down the street is planning on offering them for their trade-in. Overcome these objections by being understanding but persistent. Explain to them that your appraisal of their car is accurate and a good deal. \\nCustomers looking for a trade-in often times will value their car through Kelly Blue Book, but that value is only accurate if they can sell their car at full Kelly Blue Book retail. Every month a car loses 2% of its value, and then you have to attach all the expenses to it that make it ready to sell like tires, brakes, the noise in the back, that light that won't turn on, the safety check, and reconditioning. Also, if another customer comes in and wants to offer less for the car than what it is priced at, the dealership will likely take it because they want to make the sale, thus the customer's car is likely to bring in less than what they believe it will. Explaining this to your customers is important so they understand that you aren't swindling them in price.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Close the sale.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you have discussed pricing and gotten a definite number from your manager, it's time to complete the sale. Sign the paperwork, arrange a collection date, and always stay in contact with the customer to prevent any problems.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Standing Out Among Other Salesmen\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Walk the floor each morning.\", \"描述\": \"In order to compete with other salesman and to show your customers you are genuinely interested in the cars you are selling them, know what's on your showroom floor. Learn the cars on hand, any specials your dealership is offering, cars that may be good for people with bad credit, and anything else that could be beneficial to communicate to your customer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be familiar with competitor's products.\", \"描述\": \"Study the cars other dealerships are selling, and learn why it would be more beneficial for your customer to buy from your dealership. Know every model and option your company offers as well as those of your competitors.\\nThis will take a lot of studying, but it will be worth it because you'll know exactly why your product is better and won't have to make something up and potentially lie to your customer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Follow up with potential customers.\", \"描述\": \"After you meet a customer and get to know them, write down all of the information you learned in your CRM (customer relationship management). Then you'll know the best time and way to reach them.\\nYou can continue to do this until you've reached them or until they ask you to stop contacting them. Some people may get frustrated if you continue to call them, but look at it this way, those people probably weren't going to buy from you anyways so you haven't lost anything.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make friends with your sales managers.\", \"描述\": \"These are the people that are ultimately going to help you seal the deal and they can also offer you \\\"house deals,\\\" which are about a third of the deals that take place at a dealership. If you're friendly with your manager and they trust you, they'll be able to put you on deals that are generated from the internet or from people at the dealership who know people who want to buy cars.\\nHouse deals consist of \\\"phone-ups,\\\" customers who call in on the phone, or \\\"internet leads,\\\" customers who visited a website and are interested in buying a car. These are called house deals because the dealership owns them until the manager divides them up between salesmen.\\nSales managers play a big part in your success at the dealership. If you haven't built any relationship with them and they decide they don't like you they can starve you of deals and leave you empty handed, or give you such insufficient help that you eventually quit.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If business is slow, pick up the phone. Use the database, find out who bought cars from you three years ago and phone them to advise them of new deals you have at the branch.\\n\", \"Greet everyone, be friendly, and smile. Making a name for yourself at your dealership is vital to making more sales.\\n\", \"Keeping a daily log is very important - if you say you are going to contact someone on a particular day at a particular time then do it.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't come across as desperate. This shows that you don't have faith that your product can sell itself, and your customers will pick up on it.\\n\", \"Don't lie to your customers. Always be truthful about deals and about the vehicles you are selling.\\n\", \"Never insult other salespeople or competitors. It is unprofessional and the customers will not appreciate it. Always try to draw the customer's attention to the good things about your vehicles.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,422 |
How to Be a Good Cashier
|
1. Good Service
1-1. Smile and be nice.
If you've had a bad day, leave it at home and be polite while on shift, even to the meanest customers. You don't need to be a pushover, but you're more likely to leave your customer happy and satisfied if you're slower but in a great mood than if you're the fastest cashier ever but snappy and rude. If you can't sincerely be cheerful, at least try to fake it.
1-2. Ask the customer if "they are having a good day".
Actually listen to their response and acknowledge their response. When they are walking out of the store, they will feel properly acknowledged and will likely come back to your store.
1-3. Call for backup.
If your store has a protocol to call for backup when the line gets too long, call for backup and try not to rush through the entire line yourself.
1-4. Stop talking to coworkers when service is required.
Customers feel uncomfortable at best and disrespected if cashiers keep chatting around or over them while being served. This is your job, and just as other people don't chat away at work constantly, neither should you. Learn to drop and pick up conversations when it is appropriate.
2. Good Cash Handling
2-1. Get to know the basics of your cash system.
Whether it's an old manual cash register or a state-of-the-art computer system, you should know how to do all the basic things that will come up at least once every three or four customers. If your cash register has quick buttons for some cash amounts, like $5, $10, or $20, get in the habit of using them. For the first few days, review your basics constantly while it's not busy, and ask a more experienced cashier to double check you to make sure you're doing everything exactly right.
2-2. Count back change.
When there is not a long line, get into the habit of counting back the change to the customer instead of just handing them a bunch of bills. This cuts down on mistakes.
Good practice in small retail businesses includes calling out large notes so that your coworker hears it. If there is a dispute and a customer claims to have given you more money than they did, you can use this standard practice to show that this is unlikely.
2-3. Keep note of how the customer will be paying.
Someone paying in cash has to search for change, while someone paying with debit needs to type their pin and wait for the transaction to go through. This is a great time to do something else they'll need done, like bagging their purchases.
3. Being Informed about Store Protocols
3-1. Learn how to do things that come up reasonably often, but not every day.
For example, if you only sell a gift certificate once every week or two, it's still a good idea to know the routine by heart. It's also a good idea to know what to do if you make a mistake or a small problem comes up - what's the routine if you give the wrong change but have already closed your cash, if someone wants a refund, or if your debit machine goes on the fritz? If this wasn't part of basic training, ask your manager or a more experienced cashier.
3-2. Know where to go for more info if something more rare comes up.
You probably can't memorize every routine in the book, especially the ones that might never come up while you work there, but you need to know where your guidebook or user manual is if those once-in-a-blue-moon occasions come up. It's a good idea to at least skim the full guidebook, so you'll know roughly what's in it and where to go if, say, the power goes out and you have to use that dusty manual debit card press in the back.
3-3. Know the store's products well enough to make suggestions and compliments.
Even if you're only a cashier and never expected to work the floor, you're still an employee and might be asked questions. If you happen to know something is a particularly good purchase, let the buyer know that they just got the first of a brand new product, or that you think that one's the nicest in the store and they made a great choice. Be sincere about this and don't overdo it, but a little compliment can create the perception of added value and make a customer even happier with their purchase.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Good Service\\n1-1. Smile and be nice.\\nIf you've had a bad day, leave it at home and be polite while on shift, even to the meanest customers. You don't need to be a pushover, but you're more likely to leave your customer happy and satisfied if you're slower but in a great mood than if you're the fastest cashier ever but snappy and rude. If you can't sincerely be cheerful, at least try to fake it.\\n1-2. Ask the customer if \\\"they are having a good day\\\".\\nActually listen to their response and acknowledge their response. When they are walking out of the store, they will feel properly acknowledged and will likely come back to your store.\\n1-3. Call for backup.\\nIf your store has a protocol to call for backup when the line gets too long, call for backup and try not to rush through the entire line yourself.\\n1-4. Stop talking to coworkers when service is required.\\nCustomers feel uncomfortable at best and disrespected if cashiers keep chatting around or over them while being served. This is your job, and just as other people don't chat away at work constantly, neither should you. Learn to drop and pick up conversations when it is appropriate.\\n2. Good Cash Handling\\n2-1. Get to know the basics of your cash system.\\nWhether it's an old manual cash register or a state-of-the-art computer system, you should know how to do all the basic things that will come up at least once every three or four customers. If your cash register has quick buttons for some cash amounts, like $5, $10, or $20, get in the habit of using them. For the first few days, review your basics constantly while it's not busy, and ask a more experienced cashier to double check you to make sure you're doing everything exactly right.\\n2-2. Count back change.\\nWhen there is not a long line, get into the habit of counting back the change to the customer instead of just handing them a bunch of bills. This cuts down on mistakes. \\nGood practice in small retail businesses includes calling out large notes so that your coworker hears it. If there is a dispute and a customer claims to have given you more money than they did, you can use this standard practice to show that this is unlikely.\\n2-3. Keep note of how the customer will be paying.\\nSomeone paying in cash has to search for change, while someone paying with debit needs to type their pin and wait for the transaction to go through. This is a great time to do something else they'll need done, like bagging their purchases.\\n3. Being Informed about Store Protocols\\n3-1. Learn how to do things that come up reasonably often, but not every day.\\nFor example, if you only sell a gift certificate once every week or two, it's still a good idea to know the routine by heart. It's also a good idea to know what to do if you make a mistake or a small problem comes up - what's the routine if you give the wrong change but have already closed your cash, if someone wants a refund, or if your debit machine goes on the fritz? If this wasn't part of basic training, ask your manager or a more experienced cashier.\\n3-2. Know where to go for more info if something more rare comes up.\\nYou probably can't memorize every routine in the book, especially the ones that might never come up while you work there, but you need to know where your guidebook or user manual is if those once-in-a-blue-moon occasions come up. It's a good idea to at least skim the full guidebook, so you'll know roughly what's in it and where to go if, say, the power goes out and you have to use that dusty manual debit card press in the back.\\n3-3. Know the store's products well enough to make suggestions and compliments.\\nEven if you're only a cashier and never expected to work the floor, you're still an employee and might be asked questions. If you happen to know something is a particularly good purchase, let the buyer know that they just got the first of a brand new product, or that you think that one's the nicest in the store and they made a great choice. Be sincere about this and don't overdo it, but a little compliment can create the perception of added value and make a customer even happier with their purchase.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"So you've got a job (maybe your first job) in retail, and you've been asked to work the cash register. You'll probably be given basic training, but how do you get from day one on the job to become the pro cashier who can clear a long lineup in minutes and make everyone's day brighter? These are tips for getting better at your new job!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Good Service\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile and be nice.\", \"描述\": \"If you've had a bad day, leave it at home and be polite while on shift, even to the meanest customers. You don't need to be a pushover, but you're more likely to leave your customer happy and satisfied if you're slower but in a great mood than if you're the fastest cashier ever but snappy and rude. If you can't sincerely be cheerful, at least try to fake it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask the customer if \\\"they are having a good day\\\".\", \"描述\": \"Actually listen to their response and acknowledge their response. When they are walking out of the store, they will feel properly acknowledged and will likely come back to your store.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Call for backup.\", \"描述\": \"If your store has a protocol to call for backup when the line gets too long, call for backup and try not to rush through the entire line yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stop talking to coworkers when service is required.\", \"描述\": \"Customers feel uncomfortable at best and disrespected if cashiers keep chatting around or over them while being served. This is your job, and just as other people don't chat away at work constantly, neither should you. Learn to drop and pick up conversations when it is appropriate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Good Cash Handling\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get to know the basics of your cash system.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it's an old manual cash register or a state-of-the-art computer system, you should know how to do all the basic things that will come up at least once every three or four customers. If your cash register has quick buttons for some cash amounts, like $5, $10, or $20, get in the habit of using them. For the first few days, review your basics constantly while it's not busy, and ask a more experienced cashier to double check you to make sure you're doing everything exactly right.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Count back change.\", \"描述\": \"When there is not a long line, get into the habit of counting back the change to the customer instead of just handing them a bunch of bills. This cuts down on mistakes. \\nGood practice in small retail businesses includes calling out large notes so that your coworker hears it. If there is a dispute and a customer claims to have given you more money than they did, you can use this standard practice to show that this is unlikely.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep note of how the customer will be paying.\", \"描述\": \"Someone paying in cash has to search for change, while someone paying with debit needs to type their pin and wait for the transaction to go through. This is a great time to do something else they'll need done, like bagging their purchases.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Informed about Store Protocols\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn how to do things that come up reasonably often, but not every day.\", \"描述\": \"For example, if you only sell a gift certificate once every week or two, it's still a good idea to know the routine by heart. It's also a good idea to know what to do if you make a mistake or a small problem comes up - what's the routine if you give the wrong change but have already closed your cash, if someone wants a refund, or if your debit machine goes on the fritz? If this wasn't part of basic training, ask your manager or a more experienced cashier.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know where to go for more info if something more rare comes up.\", \"描述\": \"You probably can't memorize every routine in the book, especially the ones that might never come up while you work there, but you need to know where your guidebook or user manual is if those once-in-a-blue-moon occasions come up. It's a good idea to at least skim the full guidebook, so you'll know roughly what's in it and where to go if, say, the power goes out and you have to use that dusty manual debit card press in the back.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know the store's products well enough to make suggestions and compliments.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're only a cashier and never expected to work the floor, you're still an employee and might be asked questions. If you happen to know something is a particularly good purchase, let the buyer know that they just got the first of a brand new product, or that you think that one's the nicest in the store and they made a great choice. Be sincere about this and don't overdo it, but a little compliment can create the perception of added value and make a customer even happier with their purchase.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,423 |
How to Be a Good Catholic
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1. Steps
1-1. Receive God's provision.
The important thing is to know God's love! Realize Jesus gave his all, as He died to give us life! No matter what, as Catholics, we believe that through the Sacrament of Confession or Reconciliation, God forgives our worst sins. Do not despair but hope in God. If we look at the lives of the saints, many of them were as far away from God as you could ever imagine; but they were able to change their lives around, serve God, and enter joyfully into His Heavenly Kingdom.
1-2. Respect Him in prayer and revere His presence!
God is with us at all times, even when we think we are alone. Try to be aware of His presence which is all powerful, all knowing, and all loving. Try to be in a quiet area and to truly focus on his love. Love Him who first loved the world. Love him with everything you've got.
2. For All Catholics
2-1. If you are not already Catholic, please go to a local church, and talk to the priest about becoming Catholic.
Do some research by going to your local library, looking at some good Catholic websites such as catholic.com, and sit in a pew and observe Mass at the local church. If you want to enroll in RCIA classes talk to your local priest.
2-2. Pray and participate in the Sacraments.
Mass is the source and summit of our Faith as the Bread and Wine offered at Mass according to Church doctrine becomes the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Also frequently praying and partaking of the Sacraments brings us closer to God and makes us stronger in our Faith. There are numerous prayers that have been written throughout the Catholic Tradition. Some parishes sell Catholic prayer books to help you with your prayer. Pray the Rosary (at the bottom of the article), say the Our Father, the Jesus Prayer, or just have a conversation with God. Remember to ask for the intercession of Jesus Christ to the Father, and that of Holy Mary, the Mother of God and the saints in your prayer. We are not worshiping the saints and Mary but praying (communicating) with them to God.
2-3. Read the Bible every day.
Pick a passage or set a time of maybe ten minutes to read the Bible each day. You can also look for Catholic Bible commentaries that may be sold at a parish or through an online Catholic website to assist you with trying to understand the Bible more
2-4. "Love thy neighbor as thyself," Jesus said, and:
"By this ye shall know ye are my disciples; 'That ye love one another.'" Give charity to the poor, visit those in prison, give food to the hungry, forgive, clothe the naked, give drink to the thirsty, and bury the dead.
2-5. Keep the Ten Commandments.
The 10 commandments are
1. I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the house of Egypt. You shall have no other Gods before me.
2. Thou shall not take the Lord's name in vain.
3. Keep Holy the Sabbath
4. Honor your father and mother
5. Thou shall not kill
6.Thou shall not commit adultery
7. Thou shall not steal
8.Thou shall not bare false witnesses against thy neighbor
9. Thou shall not covet their neighbors wife
10. Thou shall not covet their neighbors goods.
2-6. Avoid the 7 deadly sins:
lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, anger, envy, and pride.
2-7. Go to church regularly.
Catholics are required to attend church on every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation (HDOs for the Byzantine Metropolitan Church of Pittsburgh are listed in the tips).
2-8. Follow the teachings of the Church.
The leader of the Church as a whole is the Pope, although various Churches have their own leaders (e.g. the Metropolitan of Pittsburgh of the Ruthenians; the Patriarch of Antioch of the Maronites; the Metropolitan of L'viv of the Ukrainians, etc.). Hold true to the Traditions of the Faith as the Faith has been passed down from Jesus Christ to the Apostles to their disciplines through the numerous saints to this present day. Research and look into what the Church actually teaches by going to good Catholic websites and by reading good Catholic books. The Catechism of the Catholic Church lays out point by the point what the Church teaches and believes.
2-9. Know that there are nearly 25 different Churches sui iuris that make up the Catholic Church.
The most common of these is the Roman Church. The others are known as the Eastern Catholic Churches. Almost all of them (except for the Maronite and Italo-Albanian Churches) have an Orthodox counterpart. The members of Eastern Catholic Churches are not pleased when people refuse to accept the fact that they are in full communion with the Bishop of Rome.
2-10. Know your heresies and how to beat them.
3. For Byzantine Catholics
3-1. Byzantine Catholics ought to already be doing everything above.
This is just a supplemental section covering traditions that we have but aren't necessarily present in other Churches.
3-2. Know your Church's traditions!
It is important that you are able to easily give an outline (however rough) of your Church's particular features.
3-3. Read the Fathers.
They know best.
3-4. Learn common prayers of the Eastern Churches.
The Jesus Prayer, for example, is simple and powerful:
Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
3-5. Make the sign of the Cross one of the traditional ways, for example:
thumb, index, and middle finger held together, with the ring finger and pinky tucked in. Forehead, abdomen, shoulder, shoulder.
Tips
Be kind.
Go to confession regularly.
Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church and the writings of the Fathers for added knowledge.
Warnings
People might persecute you for being Catholic, even though it is one of the most popular religions as exemplified by membership worldwide.
Your bishop has the final say. For example, if the Latin Rite bishop of Pittsburgh transfers the obligation to attend church on the feast of the Ascension to the following Sunday (which does happen), then well and good for Latin Rite Catholics in the Diocese of Pittsburgh. However, the Byzantine Catholic faithful, even if they live next door to the Latin Rite bishop, still have to go on Thursday, since they fall under the jurisdiction of the Byzantine Metropolitan of Pittsburgh, not the Latin Rite bishop. The same applies vice versa.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Receive God's provision.\\nThe important thing is to know God's love! Realize Jesus gave his all, as He died to give us life! No matter what, as Catholics, we believe that through the Sacrament of Confession or Reconciliation, God forgives our worst sins. Do not despair but hope in God. If we look at the lives of the saints, many of them were as far away from God as you could ever imagine; but they were able to change their lives around, serve God, and enter joyfully into His Heavenly Kingdom.\\n1-2. Respect Him in prayer and revere His presence!\\nGod is with us at all times, even when we think we are alone. Try to be aware of His presence which is all powerful, all knowing, and all loving. Try to be in a quiet area and to truly focus on his love. Love Him who first loved the world. Love him with everything you've got.\\n2. For All Catholics\\n2-1. If you are not already Catholic, please go to a local church, and talk to the priest about becoming Catholic.\\nDo some research by going to your local library, looking at some good Catholic websites such as catholic.com, and sit in a pew and observe Mass at the local church. If you want to enroll in RCIA classes talk to your local priest.\\n2-2. Pray and participate in the Sacraments.\\nMass is the source and summit of our Faith as the Bread and Wine offered at Mass according to Church doctrine becomes the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Also frequently praying and partaking of the Sacraments brings us closer to God and makes us stronger in our Faith. There are numerous prayers that have been written throughout the Catholic Tradition. Some parishes sell Catholic prayer books to help you with your prayer. Pray the Rosary (at the bottom of the article), say the Our Father, the Jesus Prayer, or just have a conversation with God. Remember to ask for the intercession of Jesus Christ to the Father, and that of Holy Mary, the Mother of God and the saints in your prayer. We are not worshiping the saints and Mary but praying (communicating) with them to God.\\n2-3. Read the Bible every day.\\nPick a passage or set a time of maybe ten minutes to read the Bible each day. You can also look for Catholic Bible commentaries that may be sold at a parish or through an online Catholic website to assist you with trying to understand the Bible more\\n2-4. \\\"Love thy neighbor as thyself,\\\" Jesus said, and:\\n\\\"By this ye shall know ye are my disciples; 'That ye love one another.'\\\" Give charity to the poor, visit those in prison, give food to the hungry, forgive, clothe the naked, give drink to the thirsty, and bury the dead.\\n2-5. Keep the Ten Commandments.\\nThe 10 commandments are\\n1. I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the house of Egypt. You shall have no other Gods before me.\\n2. Thou shall not take the Lord's name in vain.\\n3. Keep Holy the Sabbath\\n4. Honor your father and mother\\n5. Thou shall not kill\\n6.Thou shall not commit adultery\\n7. Thou shall not steal\\n8.Thou shall not bare false witnesses against thy neighbor\\n9. Thou shall not covet their neighbors wife\\n10. Thou shall not covet their neighbors goods.\\n2-6. Avoid the 7 deadly sins:\\nlust, gluttony, greed, sloth, anger, envy, and pride.\\n2-7. Go to church regularly.\\nCatholics are required to attend church on every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation (HDOs for the Byzantine Metropolitan Church of Pittsburgh are listed in the tips).\\n2-8. Follow the teachings of the Church.\\nThe leader of the Church as a whole is the Pope, although various Churches have their own leaders (e.g. the Metropolitan of Pittsburgh of the Ruthenians; the Patriarch of Antioch of the Maronites; the Metropolitan of L'viv of the Ukrainians, etc.). Hold true to the Traditions of the Faith as the Faith has been passed down from Jesus Christ to the Apostles to their disciplines through the numerous saints to this present day. Research and look into what the Church actually teaches by going to good Catholic websites and by reading good Catholic books. The Catechism of the Catholic Church lays out point by the point what the Church teaches and believes.\\n2-9. Know that there are nearly 25 different Churches sui iuris that make up the Catholic Church.\\nThe most common of these is the Roman Church. The others are known as the Eastern Catholic Churches. Almost all of them (except for the Maronite and Italo-Albanian Churches) have an Orthodox counterpart. The members of Eastern Catholic Churches are not pleased when people refuse to accept the fact that they are in full communion with the Bishop of Rome.\\n2-10. Know your heresies and how to beat them.\\n\\n3. For Byzantine Catholics\\n3-1. Byzantine Catholics ought to already be doing everything above.\\nThis is just a supplemental section covering traditions that we have but aren't necessarily present in other Churches.\\n3-2. Know your Church's traditions!\\nIt is important that you are able to easily give an outline (however rough) of your Church's particular features.\\n3-3. Read the Fathers.\\nThey know best.\\n3-4. Learn common prayers of the Eastern Churches.\\nThe Jesus Prayer, for example, is simple and powerful:\\nLord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.\\n3-5. Make the sign of the Cross one of the traditional ways, for example:\\nthumb, index, and middle finger held together, with the ring finger and pinky tucked in. Forehead, abdomen, shoulder, shoulder.\\nTips\\nBe kind.\\nGo to confession regularly.\\nRead the Catechism of the Catholic Church and the writings of the Fathers for added knowledge.\\nWarnings\\nPeople might persecute you for being Catholic, even though it is one of the most popular religions as exemplified by membership worldwide.\\nYour bishop has the final say. For example, if the Latin Rite bishop of Pittsburgh transfers the obligation to attend church on the feast of the Ascension to the following Sunday (which does happen), then well and good for Latin Rite Catholics in the Diocese of Pittsburgh. However, the Byzantine Catholic faithful, even if they live next door to the Latin Rite bishop, still have to go on Thursday, since they fall under the jurisdiction of the Byzantine Metropolitan of Pittsburgh, not the Latin Rite bishop. The same applies vice versa.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"One of the easiest ways to be a good Catholic is to simply pray. Keep prayer short and simple; don't ask for things such as money, girls, health for yourself, but rather focus on others. Check out Solomon's prayer and God's response (I Kings III.5-14).\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Receive God's provision.\", \"描述\": \"The important thing is to know God's love! Realize Jesus gave his all, as He died to give us life! No matter what, as Catholics, we believe that through the Sacrament of Confession or Reconciliation, God forgives our worst sins. Do not despair but hope in God. If we look at the lives of the saints, many of them were as far away from God as you could ever imagine; but they were able to change their lives around, serve God, and enter joyfully into His Heavenly Kingdom.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respect Him in prayer and revere His presence!\", \"描述\": \"God is with us at all times, even when we think we are alone. Try to be aware of His presence which is all powerful, all knowing, and all loving. Try to be in a quiet area and to truly focus on his love. Love Him who first loved the world. Love him with everything you've got.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"For All Catholics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you are not already Catholic, please go to a local church, and talk to the priest about becoming Catholic.\", \"描述\": \"Do some research by going to your local library, looking at some good Catholic websites such as catholic.com, and sit in a pew and observe Mass at the local church. If you want to enroll in RCIA classes talk to your local priest.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pray and participate in the Sacraments.\", \"描述\": \"Mass is the source and summit of our Faith as the Bread and Wine offered at Mass according to Church doctrine becomes the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Also frequently praying and partaking of the Sacraments brings us closer to God and makes us stronger in our Faith. There are numerous prayers that have been written throughout the Catholic Tradition. Some parishes sell Catholic prayer books to help you with your prayer. Pray the Rosary (at the bottom of the article), say the Our Father, the Jesus Prayer, or just have a conversation with God. Remember to ask for the intercession of Jesus Christ to the Father, and that of Holy Mary, the Mother of God and the saints in your prayer. We are not worshiping the saints and Mary but praying (communicating) with them to God.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read the Bible every day.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a passage or set a time of maybe ten minutes to read the Bible each day. You can also look for Catholic Bible commentaries that may be sold at a parish or through an online Catholic website to assist you with trying to understand the Bible more\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"\\\"Love thy neighbor as thyself,\\\" Jesus said, and:\", \"描述\": \"\\\"By this ye shall know ye are my disciples; 'That ye love one another.'\\\" Give charity to the poor, visit those in prison, give food to the hungry, forgive, clothe the naked, give drink to the thirsty, and bury the dead.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep the Ten Commandments.\", \"描述\": \"The 10 commandments are\\n1. I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the house of Egypt. You shall have no other Gods before me.\\n2. Thou shall not take the Lord's name in vain.\\n3. Keep Holy the Sabbath\\n4. Honor your father and mother\\n5. Thou shall not kill\\n6.Thou shall not commit adultery\\n7. Thou shall not steal\\n8.Thou shall not bare false witnesses against thy neighbor\\n9. Thou shall not covet their neighbors wife\\n10. Thou shall not covet their neighbors goods.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid the 7 deadly sins:\", \"描述\": \"lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, anger, envy, and pride.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Go to church regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Catholics are required to attend church on every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation (HDOs for the Byzantine Metropolitan Church of Pittsburgh are listed in the tips).\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Follow the teachings of the Church.\", \"描述\": \"The leader of the Church as a whole is the Pope, although various Churches have their own leaders (e.g. the Metropolitan of Pittsburgh of the Ruthenians; the Patriarch of Antioch of the Maronites; the Metropolitan of L'viv of the Ukrainians, etc.). Hold true to the Traditions of the Faith as the Faith has been passed down from Jesus Christ to the Apostles to their disciplines through the numerous saints to this present day. Research and look into what the Church actually teaches by going to good Catholic websites and by reading good Catholic books. The Catechism of the Catholic Church lays out point by the point what the Church teaches and believes.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Know that there are nearly 25 different Churches sui iuris that make up the Catholic Church.\", \"描述\": \"The most common of these is the Roman Church. The others are known as the Eastern Catholic Churches. Almost all of them (except for the Maronite and Italo-Albanian Churches) have an Orthodox counterpart. The members of Eastern Catholic Churches are not pleased when people refuse to accept the fact that they are in full communion with the Bishop of Rome.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Know your heresies and how to beat them.\", \"描述\": \"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"For Byzantine Catholics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Byzantine Catholics ought to already be doing everything above.\", \"描述\": \"This is just a supplemental section covering traditions that we have but aren't necessarily present in other Churches.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know your Church's traditions!\", \"描述\": \"It is important that you are able to easily give an outline (however rough) of your Church's particular features.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read the Fathers.\", \"描述\": \"They know best.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn common prayers of the Eastern Churches.\", \"描述\": \"The Jesus Prayer, for example, is simple and powerful:\\nLord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make the sign of the Cross one of the traditional ways, for example:\", \"描述\": \"thumb, index, and middle finger held together, with the ring finger and pinky tucked in. Forehead, abdomen, shoulder, shoulder.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be kind.\\n\", \"Go to confession regularly.\\n\", \"Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church and the writings of the Fathers for added knowledge.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"People might persecute you for being Catholic, even though it is one of the most popular religions as exemplified by membership worldwide.\\n\", \"Your bishop has the final say. For example, if the Latin Rite bishop of Pittsburgh transfers the obligation to attend church on the feast of the Ascension to the following Sunday (which does happen), then well and good for Latin Rite Catholics in the Diocese of Pittsburgh. However, the Byzantine Catholic faithful, even if they live next door to the Latin Rite bishop, still have to go on Thursday, since they fall under the jurisdiction of the Byzantine Metropolitan of Pittsburgh, not the Latin Rite bishop. The same applies vice versa.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,424 |
How to Be a Good Central Midfielder in Soccer
|
1. Steps
1-1. Get some experience playing soccer/football.
Central midfield is the most challenging position to master because the game revolves around you and it takes time be a good midfielder. You have a better chance of being more successful if you start playing soccer at a young age.
1-2. Be fit.
Check out this article. Build stamina. It's important to be a good athlete; it is crucial to be fit for this position. It is the most important position on the field. (You shouldn't be pacey; it's actually unnecessary to be fast.)
1-3. Have good technical ability.
Work on your skills. Ball skills should be above average or exemplary because you are the person who holds the ball for most of the time and you cannot lose the ball.
You should be able to control, pass and receive the ball well, not only with your feet but other parts of your body like chest and thighs.
Dribbling is also important.
1-4. Be willing and able to pass.
If you are not good at passing, do not bother to play in the midfield. The midfield is where the most skilled players distribute the ball play. You must play in the air and on the ground with short passes, both of which should be weighted properly. You should be the player who can read and analyze the game and spot runs your teammates are making and execute a pass.
This is crucial as central midfielders should be able to create more chances for their team to score. This is why they are called playmakers.
1-5. Work on your defensive maneuvers.
Central midfield is not only about attack. You are the engine that keeps the team going offensively and defensively.Don't overcommit and stab! Force the offense to make a mistake or force them to play the ball backwards.
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1-6. Be aware of the ball and any shooting opportunities.
Always take note of who is around you and move into space when off the ball.
Have good vision. This will enable you to move the ball around well and create scoring opportunities. You, as a center midfielder, have to control the play. This means distributing the ball and checking to every ball.
Shoot when you can. While forwards mostly do the attacking, it is not a crucial part of midfield but given you are not usually in the box, an occasional nice shot is always a great bonus.
Tips
Don't be afraid to shoot the ball. In the 2010 World Cup, England midfielder Frank Lampard scored a goal that was wrongly not counted by the referees. That eventually led to the use of goal-line technology.
The first touch is very important. Always direct your first touch away from the opposing players.
You don't have to use fancy footwork in a 1 v 1 situation. A simple shoulder fake or a quick change in directions will work. Some of the best players in the world don't use tricky moves unless it is needed. Use the moves that work the best for you and that are the most effective.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Get some experience playing soccer/football.\\nCentral midfield is the most challenging position to master because the game revolves around you and it takes time be a good midfielder. You have a better chance of being more successful if you start playing soccer at a young age.\\n1-2. Be fit.\\nCheck out this article. Build stamina. It's important to be a good athlete; it is crucial to be fit for this position. It is the most important position on the field. (You shouldn't be pacey; it's actually unnecessary to be fast.)\\n1-3. Have good technical ability.\\nWork on your skills. Ball skills should be above average or exemplary because you are the person who holds the ball for most of the time and you cannot lose the ball.\\nYou should be able to control, pass and receive the ball well, not only with your feet but other parts of your body like chest and thighs.\\nDribbling is also important.\\n1-4. Be willing and able to pass.\\nIf you are not good at passing, do not bother to play in the midfield. The midfield is where the most skilled players distribute the ball play. You must play in the air and on the ground with short passes, both of which should be weighted properly. You should be the player who can read and analyze the game and spot runs your teammates are making and execute a pass.\\nThis is crucial as central midfielders should be able to create more chances for their team to score. This is why they are called playmakers.\\n1-5. Work on your defensive maneuvers.\\nCentral midfield is not only about attack. You are the engine that keeps the team going offensively and defensively.Don't overcommit and stab! Force the offense to make a mistake or force them to play the ball backwards. \\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/33\\\\/Be-a-Good-Central-Midfielder-in-Soccer-Step-5.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-a-Good-Central-Midfielder-in-Soccer-Step-5.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/33\\\\/Be-a-Good-Central-Midfielder-in-Soccer-Step-5.jpg\\\\/aid1381952-v4-728px-Be-a-Good-Central-Midfielder-in-Soccer-Step-5.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n1-6. Be aware of the ball and any shooting opportunities.\\nAlways take note of who is around you and move into space when off the ball. \\nHave good vision. This will enable you to move the ball around well and create scoring opportunities. You, as a center midfielder, have to control the play. This means distributing the ball and checking to every ball.\\nShoot when you can. While forwards mostly do the attacking, it is not a crucial part of midfield but given you are not usually in the box, an occasional nice shot is always a great bonus.\\nTips\\nDon't be afraid to shoot the ball. In the 2010 World Cup, England midfielder Frank Lampard scored a goal that was wrongly not counted by the referees. That eventually led to the use of goal-line technology.\\nThe first touch is very important. Always direct your first touch away from the opposing players.\\nYou don't have to use fancy footwork in a 1 v 1 situation. A simple shoulder fake or a quick change in directions will work. Some of the best players in the world don't use tricky moves unless it is needed. Use the moves that work the best for you and that are the most effective.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Soccer, or football outside the United States, Canada, and Australia, is the most popular sport in the world. Of the positions, the midfield is crucial as they combine defense and offense. Once they have the ball, the midfielder needs to know how to pass the ball to attacking players while also excelling at possession. Of the 11 players on a team, there are usually three or four midfielders. This wikiHow will show you how to play midfield like Chelsea's N'Golo Kanté or Manchester City's Kevin de Bruyne.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get some experience playing soccer/football.\", \"描述\": \"Central midfield is the most challenging position to master because the game revolves around you and it takes time be a good midfielder. You have a better chance of being more successful if you start playing soccer at a young age.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be fit.\", \"描述\": \"Check out this article. Build stamina. It's important to be a good athlete; it is crucial to be fit for this position. It is the most important position on the field. (You shouldn't be pacey; it's actually unnecessary to be fast.)\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have good technical ability.\", \"描述\": \"Work on your skills. Ball skills should be above average or exemplary because you are the person who holds the ball for most of the time and you cannot lose the ball.\\nYou should be able to control, pass and receive the ball well, not only with your feet but other parts of your body like chest and thighs.\\nDribbling is also important.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be willing and able to pass.\", \"描述\": \"If you are not good at passing, do not bother to play in the midfield. The midfield is where the most skilled players distribute the ball play. You must play in the air and on the ground with short passes, both of which should be weighted properly. You should be the player who can read and analyze the game and spot runs your teammates are making and execute a pass.\\nThis is crucial as central midfielders should be able to create more chances for their team to score. This is why they are called playmakers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Work on your defensive maneuvers.\", \"描述\": \"Central midfield is not only about attack. You are the engine that keeps the team going offensively and defensively.Don't overcommit and stab! Force the offense to make a mistake or force them to play the ball backwards. \\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/33\\\\/Be-a-Good-Central-Midfielder-in-Soccer-Step-5.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-a-Good-Central-Midfielder-in-Soccer-Step-5.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/33\\\\/Be-a-Good-Central-Midfielder-in-Soccer-Step-5.jpg\\\\/aid1381952-v4-728px-Be-a-Good-Central-Midfielder-in-Soccer-Step-5.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be aware of the ball and any shooting opportunities.\", \"描述\": \"Always take note of who is around you and move into space when off the ball. \\nHave good vision. This will enable you to move the ball around well and create scoring opportunities. You, as a center midfielder, have to control the play. This means distributing the ball and checking to every ball.\\nShoot when you can. While forwards mostly do the attacking, it is not a crucial part of midfield but given you are not usually in the box, an occasional nice shot is always a great bonus.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't be afraid to shoot the ball. In the 2010 World Cup, England midfielder Frank Lampard scored a goal that was wrongly not counted by the referees. That eventually led to the use of goal-line technology.\\n\", \"The first touch is very important. Always direct your first touch away from the opposing players.\\n\", \"You don't have to use fancy footwork in a 1 v 1 situation. A simple shoulder fake or a quick change in directions will work. Some of the best players in the world don't use tricky moves unless it is needed. Use the moves that work the best for you and that are the most effective.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,425 |
How to Be a Good Child
|
1. Behaving Appropriately
1-1. Accept your responsibilities.
It is easy to say that a good child listens to their parents (and other authority figures) and does what they are told. While this is normally true, it is more important that children learn to take responsibility for what they need to do. As a child who strives to be your best, you need to accept that there are things you have to do, for the benefit of yourself and others.
The goal of being a good child is not really about giving your parents a little less grief (though they will welcome that). Good children learn qualities that will help them become happy, successful, “good” adults.
For example, you need to take responsibility for doing your homework and completing your chores, without constant reminders or resistance. This will help you to become more self-motivated, self-sufficient, and successful in work and life as an adult.
1-2. Manage your emotions.
Every one of us (including adults) sometimes gets angry, frustrated, whiny, or stressed out. There is no way to deny or avoid these emotions and it would be unhealthy to do so anyway. However, you can work on recognizing and managing your emotions more effectively.
Learning to control anger is one of the most important lessons for children. When you feel anger welling up, simple steps like taking deep breaths, in the nose and out the mouth, and counting to five can help you calm and contain it. Then you can think more clearly about what caused the anger and what you can do differently next time to manage it.
Uncontrolled anger is not always the cause of bad behavior, though. Sometimes kids act out when they are upset, sad, confused, or lonely. You might experience these emotions if you've been bullied in school, left out of a group activity, or rejected by a friend. When you feel down, talk to an adult you trust. If you can talk to your parents about your emotions, it can improve your relationship with them. There is no shame in seeking help from a counselor or other expert if you need it, though.
1-3. Be honest and trusting.
“Good boys and girls tell the truth.” You may have heard this said to you, and it is usually true. But the bigger picture is that honesty is a key part of building relationships based on trust. This will benefit you as a child and as an adult.
Healthy relationships require trust, and trust is built on honesty. You may want to lie to your parents in order to avoid punishment or avoid hurting their feelings. This usually doesn't work, though, and it will get in the way of developing a more mature relationship with them.
No matter how upset parents may become when hearing the truth — you failed a test because you didn’t study, stole a candy bar from the store, made fun of a vulnerable classmate, etc. — they will also feel some pride in your choice to be honest. It is an important sign of growth and trust.
1-4. Expect imperfection and learn from your mistakes.
Even the best kids make plenty of mistakes. It is part of growing up, and simply of being human. The important thing is what you do with your imperfections. Learning from mistakes is a sign of maturity and is sure to be appreciated by your parents.
If you did poorly on a big test because of a lack of preparation, are you ready to accept the importance of studying? If you were grounded for talking back to your mother in public, do you now understand the importance of showing respect? When a thoughtful, maturing child makes such mistakes, she learns from them and moves forward better off for it.
Even the most demanding parents will accept some mistakes from their children, especially if they are not repeated mistakes. All parents love seeing evidence of growth and maturity in their children. Learning from a mistake instead of repeating it is always a positive sign.
1-5. Learn to solve problems yourself.
Children who are seen as "bad" because of bad behavior often have trouble dealing with their problems in the proper way. Confusion and frustration often lead to bad decisions. But being able to recognize and solve problems puts you on a path toward self-reliance and confidence.
Remember how proud your parents were when you put a puzzle together by yourself, or wrote your own name? Even when you learned to unlatch the kitchen cabinet and made a giant mess everywhere, there was probably some pride mixed in because parents know the importance of self-reliance and problem solving skills in the adult world.
For kids, problems often result from a conflict with another kid. For a kid-friendly guide to conflict resolution, consider visiting http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&np=287&id=1521. Its problem-solving steps include:
Understand. Let each person involved clearly express the problem as they see it.
Avoid making things worse. Don't scream, insult, or take physical action against the other kid(s), no matter how upset you are. Stay calm and work through the problem.
Work together. Explain how you feel about the conflict by saying something like "I feel angry when ..." or "I need to feel ...". Then listen carefully while the other children involved speak.
Find the solution. Brainstorm different possible solutions together, and choose the one that best meets the needs of everyone involved.
1-6. Know when to ask for help.
As we just discussed, learning to recognize and solve problems yourself is an important skill for kids (and adults). But, just as important is being able to recognize and accept when you need help dealing with a problem.
It doesn't help you to "quit" on your math homework without trying to figure it out yourself. But it is also not useful to refuse to ask for help when you need it because you insist on doing everything yourself.
No child (or adult) can solve every problem herself. Your parents want to give you assistance when you need it, and will see your willingness to ask as a positive sign. Don’t expect them to solve every problem for you though — that is a sign of immaturity.
How do you know when to keep trying to solve a problem yourself, and when to ask for help? There is no secret formula; you have to trust yourself to make the decision. Have you given the problem your best effort? Are you out of ideas for how to deal with it? If so, then it is probably time to ask for assistance.
2. Showing You Care
2-1. Treat others like you want to be treated.
Many people call this the “golden rule,” and it really is a valuable rule to live by. For children, acting toward your parents, friends and family, and other people with this guide in mind demonstrates thoughtfulness and maturity on your part.
Before you join in picking on a kid in class, think about how you would feel in his shoes. Or, before throwing a tantrum over a request from your mother to help out with the laundry, consider how you’d feel if you needed a hand and she wouldn’t help you.
Good children treat their parents with respect. They treat other people the same way, which also shows respect for their parents. You can earn respect by first showing it.
Difficult as it may be, this rule applies to how you should treat your little brother (or big sister) as well!
2-2. Learn to recognize how other people are feeling.
If you know how other people are feeling and are likely to react, you will have a great advantage in deciding how you should behave in that situation. For instance, if your parents are stressed out about how they are going to pay the bills for the month, it is probably not the best time to ask for a video game or new shoes. Or, if your brother is upset about not making the baseball team, it probably isn’t the best time to rib him about his lack of athletic skills.
You can actually practice "reading" people’s emotional states by studying their faces. Go to a public place like a shopping mall, for example, and practice trying to identify how strangers are feeling by their facial expressions.
Identifying how others are feeling is important in order to show empathy, which is at the heart of the first three steps here (treating others as you want to be treated, reading others' emotions, and showing compassion for others). Empathy, however, means more than that you can tell how someone else is feeling, and that you can "put yourself in their shoes." It means you value others and their feelings and treat them with respect, even when they see things differently than you.
2-3. Show concern and compassion.
When someone is hurting, or needs a hand, take it upon yourself to do what you can to help. The world can always use more compassionate, helpful people. Why not start when you are still a child?
Part of growing up is learning to expand your “circle of concern.” As a small child, you usually only think of your own needs and wants (a cookie, a new toy, etc.). When you get a bit older, you begin to think more about the feelings and needs of people close to you, like family and friends. Eventually, you should begin to realize that there are people in need all around you.
Think about any little things you can do to help, from raising awareness to volunteering to making changes in your own life. For example, think about the good you can do simply by donating the extra cans and boxes in your kitchen cupboard to a food pantry that helps the less fortunate.
You can show compassion in your daily life by standing up for a kid who is being bullied, and asking him to be your friend (maybe by simply saying, "Do you want to play with me?). Or, you can ask your parents to buy an extra meal at the fast food drive-thru and hand it to the homeless person you drove past on the way to the restaurant. Even the small things you do can have a large impact on someone else's life.
2-4. Offer gratitude to those who help you.
As you become more aware of how you can help others, you should also become more aware of all the people that help you. Let them know you appreciate all they do for you. This is definitely a “good child” quality, and an important part of maturing into a responsible and happy person.
As a child, you should always start your offers of gratitude with your parents. Take a moment and think about all the things they do for you. Write down a list if you need to. A gift or other token of appreciation will be well-received, but simply offering a “thank you” from time to time will warm your parents’ hearts.
To "raise the bar" on your show of gratitude, express exactly why you are giving thanks: "Thank you, Mom, for always taking the time to help me with my math homework. You have helped me improve my grades, and I appreciate it."
Tips
If you are about to be punished, accept it. Don't complain. Tell your parent(s) that you are sorry and just try to do better in the future. There is no use arguing over it. If you say you're sorry (and mean it!), maybe the parent that is punishing you will lighten the load of punishment you get. You never know!
Do chores for without being asked. That way, your parents will know you're a responsible child and that you are willing to help around the house.
Always respect your elders. They have a lot of good advice to offer you.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Behaving Appropriately\\n1-1. Accept your responsibilities.\\nIt is easy to say that a good child listens to their parents (and other authority figures) and does what they are told. While this is normally true, it is more important that children learn to take responsibility for what they need to do. As a child who strives to be your best, you need to accept that there are things you have to do, for the benefit of yourself and others.\\nThe goal of being a good child is not really about giving your parents a little less grief (though they will welcome that). Good children learn qualities that will help them become happy, successful, “good” adults.\\nFor example, you need to take responsibility for doing your homework and completing your chores, without constant reminders or resistance. This will help you to become more self-motivated, self-sufficient, and successful in work and life as an adult.\\n1-2. Manage your emotions.\\nEvery one of us (including adults) sometimes gets angry, frustrated, whiny, or stressed out. There is no way to deny or avoid these emotions and it would be unhealthy to do so anyway. However, you can work on recognizing and managing your emotions more effectively.\\nLearning to control anger is one of the most important lessons for children. When you feel anger welling up, simple steps like taking deep breaths, in the nose and out the mouth, and counting to five can help you calm and contain it. Then you can think more clearly about what caused the anger and what you can do differently next time to manage it.\\nUncontrolled anger is not always the cause of bad behavior, though. Sometimes kids act out when they are upset, sad, confused, or lonely. You might experience these emotions if you've been bullied in school, left out of a group activity, or rejected by a friend. When you feel down, talk to an adult you trust. If you can talk to your parents about your emotions, it can improve your relationship with them. There is no shame in seeking help from a counselor or other expert if you need it, though.\\n1-3. Be honest and trusting.\\n“Good boys and girls tell the truth.” You may have heard this said to you, and it is usually true. But the bigger picture is that honesty is a key part of building relationships based on trust. This will benefit you as a child and as an adult.\\nHealthy relationships require trust, and trust is built on honesty. You may want to lie to your parents in order to avoid punishment or avoid hurting their feelings. This usually doesn't work, though, and it will get in the way of developing a more mature relationship with them.\\nNo matter how upset parents may become when hearing the truth — you failed a test because you didn’t study, stole a candy bar from the store, made fun of a vulnerable classmate, etc. — they will also feel some pride in your choice to be honest. It is an important sign of growth and trust.\\n1-4. Expect imperfection and learn from your mistakes.\\nEven the best kids make plenty of mistakes. It is part of growing up, and simply of being human. The important thing is what you do with your imperfections. Learning from mistakes is a sign of maturity and is sure to be appreciated by your parents.\\nIf you did poorly on a big test because of a lack of preparation, are you ready to accept the importance of studying? If you were grounded for talking back to your mother in public, do you now understand the importance of showing respect? When a thoughtful, maturing child makes such mistakes, she learns from them and moves forward better off for it.\\nEven the most demanding parents will accept some mistakes from their children, especially if they are not repeated mistakes. All parents love seeing evidence of growth and maturity in their children. Learning from a mistake instead of repeating it is always a positive sign.\\n1-5. Learn to solve problems yourself.\\nChildren who are seen as \\\"bad\\\" because of bad behavior often have trouble dealing with their problems in the proper way. Confusion and frustration often lead to bad decisions. But being able to recognize and solve problems puts you on a path toward self-reliance and confidence.\\nRemember how proud your parents were when you put a puzzle together by yourself, or wrote your own name? Even when you learned to unlatch the kitchen cabinet and made a giant mess everywhere, there was probably some pride mixed in because parents know the importance of self-reliance and problem solving skills in the adult world.\\nFor kids, problems often result from a conflict with another kid. For a kid-friendly guide to conflict resolution, consider visiting http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&np=287&id=1521. Its problem-solving steps include:\\nUnderstand. Let each person involved clearly express the problem as they see it.\\nAvoid making things worse. Don't scream, insult, or take physical action against the other kid(s), no matter how upset you are. Stay calm and work through the problem.\\nWork together. Explain how you feel about the conflict by saying something like \\\"I feel angry when ...\\\" or \\\"I need to feel ...\\\". Then listen carefully while the other children involved speak.\\nFind the solution. Brainstorm different possible solutions together, and choose the one that best meets the needs of everyone involved.\\n1-6. Know when to ask for help.\\nAs we just discussed, learning to recognize and solve problems yourself is an important skill for kids (and adults). But, just as important is being able to recognize and accept when you need help dealing with a problem.\\nIt doesn't help you to \\\"quit\\\" on your math homework without trying to figure it out yourself. But it is also not useful to refuse to ask for help when you need it because you insist on doing everything yourself.\\nNo child (or adult) can solve every problem herself. Your parents want to give you assistance when you need it, and will see your willingness to ask as a positive sign. Don’t expect them to solve every problem for you though — that is a sign of immaturity.\\nHow do you know when to keep trying to solve a problem yourself, and when to ask for help? There is no secret formula; you have to trust yourself to make the decision. Have you given the problem your best effort? Are you out of ideas for how to deal with it? If so, then it is probably time to ask for assistance.\\n2. Showing You Care\\n2-1. Treat others like you want to be treated.\\nMany people call this the “golden rule,” and it really is a valuable rule to live by. For children, acting toward your parents, friends and family, and other people with this guide in mind demonstrates thoughtfulness and maturity on your part.\\nBefore you join in picking on a kid in class, think about how you would feel in his shoes. Or, before throwing a tantrum over a request from your mother to help out with the laundry, consider how you’d feel if you needed a hand and she wouldn’t help you.\\nGood children treat their parents with respect. They treat other people the same way, which also shows respect for their parents. You can earn respect by first showing it.\\nDifficult as it may be, this rule applies to how you should treat your little brother (or big sister) as well!\\n2-2. Learn to recognize how other people are feeling.\\nIf you know how other people are feeling and are likely to react, you will have a great advantage in deciding how you should behave in that situation. For instance, if your parents are stressed out about how they are going to pay the bills for the month, it is probably not the best time to ask for a video game or new shoes. Or, if your brother is upset about not making the baseball team, it probably isn’t the best time to rib him about his lack of athletic skills.\\nYou can actually practice \\\"reading\\\" people’s emotional states by studying their faces. Go to a public place like a shopping mall, for example, and practice trying to identify how strangers are feeling by their facial expressions.\\nIdentifying how others are feeling is important in order to show empathy, which is at the heart of the first three steps here (treating others as you want to be treated, reading others' emotions, and showing compassion for others). Empathy, however, means more than that you can tell how someone else is feeling, and that you can \\\"put yourself in their shoes.\\\" It means you value others and their feelings and treat them with respect, even when they see things differently than you.\\n2-3. Show concern and compassion.\\nWhen someone is hurting, or needs a hand, take it upon yourself to do what you can to help. The world can always use more compassionate, helpful people. Why not start when you are still a child?\\nPart of growing up is learning to expand your “circle of concern.” As a small child, you usually only think of your own needs and wants (a cookie, a new toy, etc.). When you get a bit older, you begin to think more about the feelings and needs of people close to you, like family and friends. Eventually, you should begin to realize that there are people in need all around you.\\nThink about any little things you can do to help, from raising awareness to volunteering to making changes in your own life. For example, think about the good you can do simply by donating the extra cans and boxes in your kitchen cupboard to a food pantry that helps the less fortunate.\\nYou can show compassion in your daily life by standing up for a kid who is being bullied, and asking him to be your friend (maybe by simply saying, \\\"Do you want to play with me?). Or, you can ask your parents to buy an extra meal at the fast food drive-thru and hand it to the homeless person you drove past on the way to the restaurant. Even the small things you do can have a large impact on someone else's life.\\n2-4. Offer gratitude to those who help you.\\nAs you become more aware of how you can help others, you should also become more aware of all the people that help you. Let them know you appreciate all they do for you. This is definitely a “good child” quality, and an important part of maturing into a responsible and happy person.\\nAs a child, you should always start your offers of gratitude with your parents. Take a moment and think about all the things they do for you. Write down a list if you need to. A gift or other token of appreciation will be well-received, but simply offering a “thank you” from time to time will warm your parents’ hearts.\\nTo \\\"raise the bar\\\" on your show of gratitude, express exactly why you are giving thanks: \\\"Thank you, Mom, for always taking the time to help me with my math homework. You have helped me improve my grades, and I appreciate it.\\\"\\nTips\\nIf you are about to be punished, accept it. Don't complain. Tell your parent(s) that you are sorry and just try to do better in the future. There is no use arguing over it. If you say you're sorry (and mean it!), maybe the parent that is punishing you will lighten the load of punishment you get. You never know!\\nDo chores for without being asked. That way, your parents will know you're a responsible child and that you are willing to help around the house.\\nAlways respect your elders. They have a lot of good advice to offer you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"What is the difference between a \\\"good\\\" child and a \\\"bad\\\" one? Maybe Santa can tell the difference, but for the rest of us, it isn't always so easy to know. Are you \\\"good\\\" if you listen? Show respect? Do well in school? Do all of these and more? Whatever it means to be a good child, it does not mean being perfect. It does involve qualities like compassion, understanding, self-discipline, and appreciation though. Maybe one way to think of it is this: Good children put themselves on the path toward becoming happy, successful adults. Any parent would appreciate this type of \\\"good\\\" child.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Behaving Appropriately\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept your responsibilities.\", \"描述\": \"It is easy to say that a good child listens to their parents (and other authority figures) and does what they are told. While this is normally true, it is more important that children learn to take responsibility for what they need to do. As a child who strives to be your best, you need to accept that there are things you have to do, for the benefit of yourself and others.\\nThe goal of being a good child is not really about giving your parents a little less grief (though they will welcome that). Good children learn qualities that will help them become happy, successful, “good” adults.\\nFor example, you need to take responsibility for doing your homework and completing your chores, without constant reminders or resistance. This will help you to become more self-motivated, self-sufficient, and successful in work and life as an adult.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Manage your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Every one of us (including adults) sometimes gets angry, frustrated, whiny, or stressed out. There is no way to deny or avoid these emotions and it would be unhealthy to do so anyway. However, you can work on recognizing and managing your emotions more effectively.\\nLearning to control anger is one of the most important lessons for children. When you feel anger welling up, simple steps like taking deep breaths, in the nose and out the mouth, and counting to five can help you calm and contain it. Then you can think more clearly about what caused the anger and what you can do differently next time to manage it.\\nUncontrolled anger is not always the cause of bad behavior, though. Sometimes kids act out when they are upset, sad, confused, or lonely. You might experience these emotions if you've been bullied in school, left out of a group activity, or rejected by a friend. When you feel down, talk to an adult you trust. If you can talk to your parents about your emotions, it can improve your relationship with them. There is no shame in seeking help from a counselor or other expert if you need it, though.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be honest and trusting.\", \"描述\": \"“Good boys and girls tell the truth.” You may have heard this said to you, and it is usually true. But the bigger picture is that honesty is a key part of building relationships based on trust. This will benefit you as a child and as an adult.\\nHealthy relationships require trust, and trust is built on honesty. You may want to lie to your parents in order to avoid punishment or avoid hurting their feelings. This usually doesn't work, though, and it will get in the way of developing a more mature relationship with them.\\nNo matter how upset parents may become when hearing the truth — you failed a test because you didn’t study, stole a candy bar from the store, made fun of a vulnerable classmate, etc. — they will also feel some pride in your choice to be honest. It is an important sign of growth and trust.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Expect imperfection and learn from your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Even the best kids make plenty of mistakes. It is part of growing up, and simply of being human. The important thing is what you do with your imperfections. Learning from mistakes is a sign of maturity and is sure to be appreciated by your parents.\\nIf you did poorly on a big test because of a lack of preparation, are you ready to accept the importance of studying? If you were grounded for talking back to your mother in public, do you now understand the importance of showing respect? When a thoughtful, maturing child makes such mistakes, she learns from them and moves forward better off for it.\\nEven the most demanding parents will accept some mistakes from their children, especially if they are not repeated mistakes. All parents love seeing evidence of growth and maturity in their children. Learning from a mistake instead of repeating it is always a positive sign.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to solve problems yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Children who are seen as \\\"bad\\\" because of bad behavior often have trouble dealing with their problems in the proper way. Confusion and frustration often lead to bad decisions. But being able to recognize and solve problems puts you on a path toward self-reliance and confidence.\\nRemember how proud your parents were when you put a puzzle together by yourself, or wrote your own name? Even when you learned to unlatch the kitchen cabinet and made a giant mess everywhere, there was probably some pride mixed in because parents know the importance of self-reliance and problem solving skills in the adult world.\\nFor kids, problems often result from a conflict with another kid. For a kid-friendly guide to conflict resolution, consider visiting http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&np=287&id=1521. Its problem-solving steps include:\\nUnderstand. Let each person involved clearly express the problem as they see it.\\nAvoid making things worse. Don't scream, insult, or take physical action against the other kid(s), no matter how upset you are. Stay calm and work through the problem.\\nWork together. Explain how you feel about the conflict by saying something like \\\"I feel angry when ...\\\" or \\\"I need to feel ...\\\". Then listen carefully while the other children involved speak.\\nFind the solution. Brainstorm different possible solutions together, and choose the one that best meets the needs of everyone involved.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know when to ask for help.\", \"描述\": \"As we just discussed, learning to recognize and solve problems yourself is an important skill for kids (and adults). But, just as important is being able to recognize and accept when you need help dealing with a problem.\\nIt doesn't help you to \\\"quit\\\" on your math homework without trying to figure it out yourself. But it is also not useful to refuse to ask for help when you need it because you insist on doing everything yourself.\\nNo child (or adult) can solve every problem herself. Your parents want to give you assistance when you need it, and will see your willingness to ask as a positive sign. Don’t expect them to solve every problem for you though — that is a sign of immaturity.\\nHow do you know when to keep trying to solve a problem yourself, and when to ask for help? There is no secret formula; you have to trust yourself to make the decision. Have you given the problem your best effort? Are you out of ideas for how to deal with it? If so, then it is probably time to ask for assistance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing You Care\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Treat others like you want to be treated.\", \"描述\": \"Many people call this the “golden rule,” and it really is a valuable rule to live by. For children, acting toward your parents, friends and family, and other people with this guide in mind demonstrates thoughtfulness and maturity on your part.\\nBefore you join in picking on a kid in class, think about how you would feel in his shoes. Or, before throwing a tantrum over a request from your mother to help out with the laundry, consider how you’d feel if you needed a hand and she wouldn’t help you.\\nGood children treat their parents with respect. They treat other people the same way, which also shows respect for their parents. You can earn respect by first showing it.\\nDifficult as it may be, this rule applies to how you should treat your little brother (or big sister) as well!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to recognize how other people are feeling.\", \"描述\": \"If you know how other people are feeling and are likely to react, you will have a great advantage in deciding how you should behave in that situation. For instance, if your parents are stressed out about how they are going to pay the bills for the month, it is probably not the best time to ask for a video game or new shoes. Or, if your brother is upset about not making the baseball team, it probably isn’t the best time to rib him about his lack of athletic skills.\\nYou can actually practice \\\"reading\\\" people’s emotional states by studying their faces. Go to a public place like a shopping mall, for example, and practice trying to identify how strangers are feeling by their facial expressions.\\nIdentifying how others are feeling is important in order to show empathy, which is at the heart of the first three steps here (treating others as you want to be treated, reading others' emotions, and showing compassion for others). Empathy, however, means more than that you can tell how someone else is feeling, and that you can \\\"put yourself in their shoes.\\\" It means you value others and their feelings and treat them with respect, even when they see things differently than you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show concern and compassion.\", \"描述\": \"When someone is hurting, or needs a hand, take it upon yourself to do what you can to help. The world can always use more compassionate, helpful people. Why not start when you are still a child?\\nPart of growing up is learning to expand your “circle of concern.” As a small child, you usually only think of your own needs and wants (a cookie, a new toy, etc.). When you get a bit older, you begin to think more about the feelings and needs of people close to you, like family and friends. Eventually, you should begin to realize that there are people in need all around you.\\nThink about any little things you can do to help, from raising awareness to volunteering to making changes in your own life. For example, think about the good you can do simply by donating the extra cans and boxes in your kitchen cupboard to a food pantry that helps the less fortunate.\\nYou can show compassion in your daily life by standing up for a kid who is being bullied, and asking him to be your friend (maybe by simply saying, \\\"Do you want to play with me?). Or, you can ask your parents to buy an extra meal at the fast food drive-thru and hand it to the homeless person you drove past on the way to the restaurant. Even the small things you do can have a large impact on someone else's life.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Offer gratitude to those who help you.\", \"描述\": \"As you become more aware of how you can help others, you should also become more aware of all the people that help you. Let them know you appreciate all they do for you. This is definitely a “good child” quality, and an important part of maturing into a responsible and happy person.\\nAs a child, you should always start your offers of gratitude with your parents. Take a moment and think about all the things they do for you. Write down a list if you need to. A gift or other token of appreciation will be well-received, but simply offering a “thank you” from time to time will warm your parents’ hearts.\\nTo \\\"raise the bar\\\" on your show of gratitude, express exactly why you are giving thanks: \\\"Thank you, Mom, for always taking the time to help me with my math homework. You have helped me improve my grades, and I appreciate it.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you are about to be punished, accept it. Don't complain. Tell your parent(s) that you are sorry and just try to do better in the future. There is no use arguing over it. If you say you're sorry (and mean it!), maybe the parent that is punishing you will lighten the load of punishment you get. You never know!\\n\", \"Do chores for without being asked. That way, your parents will know you're a responsible child and that you are willing to help around the house.\\n\", \"Always respect your elders. They have a lot of good advice to offer you.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,426 |
How to Be a Good Christian Child
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1. Steps
1-1. Tell your parents about this wish.
If they are Christian/s also, they should be able to help you. Ask them the following questions:
Were you a Christian when you were my age?
Are there any Christian stories you can tell me? (Bible stories, stories that helped them in their faith when they were children, etc.)
1-2. However, if they are not a Christian, carry on.
You should not have to change your faith because of your parents' beliefs, but it may be helpful for you to find a Christian adult to answer any questions you may have, and mentor you in your walk with Christ.
1-3. Read the Bible.
You can borrow one from the library, or, if you have a Kindle E-Reader you can get one for free on Amazon, sent straight to your e-reader. Many churches and religious organizations give paper Bibles away for free, and you can even read and search the Bible on the Internet.
1-4. Do not swear or use God's name in vain, even if it might seem light.
Swearing is not proper behavior for Christians. Every time you hear the word swear, replace it with curse so that you can realize the severity of it.
1-5. Don't watch porn.
If you have already seen porn, you should realize that sex is not really like what you've seen. God created intercourse for married couples to show love to each other, not to jump into bed the moment they meet. Block all of these sites on your computer, phone, and other devices. If you have a problem with porn, try rewarding yourself each day you go without watching it with something like a piece of candy.
1-6. Respect your parents.
Hug them and give them a day off from chores once in a while. Remember, if it wasn't for your parents, you wouldn't be alive or even here. So, thank them with all your heart.
1-7. Be nice to your school friends.
Help them and never tell their secrets. Whenever they're down, cheer them up; think of you as their map. If they're ascending the wrong hill, you get them up the right one. But don't be controlling.
Tips
Carry on with your everyday life. Just because you're Christian, doesn't mean you have to go around with the Bible under your arm, preaching all day.
Pray.
Don't make assumptions about a person or a certain group of people just because of something that someone told you. You can lose friends and miss out on talking to so many interesting people. Also, think of it this way. If someone started telling lies about you and no one wanted to be your friend or talk to you, how would you feel?
Warnings
NEVER judge others. Even if what they are doing is a sin, it's God's job to judge, not yours.
Remember that if God created everything, that means EVERYTHING. No exceptions. So make sure you catch yourself when you think something is wrong in the eyes of God because if it was wrong he wouldn't have made it.
Not everyone is a Christian, so do not force your beliefs on anyone.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Tell your parents about this wish.\\nIf they are Christian/s also, they should be able to help you. Ask them the following questions:\\nWere you a Christian when you were my age?\\nAre there any Christian stories you can tell me? (Bible stories, stories that helped them in their faith when they were children, etc.)\\n1-2. However, if they are not a Christian, carry on.\\nYou should not have to change your faith because of your parents' beliefs, but it may be helpful for you to find a Christian adult to answer any questions you may have, and mentor you in your walk with Christ.\\n1-3. Read the Bible.\\nYou can borrow one from the library, or, if you have a Kindle E-Reader you can get one for free on Amazon, sent straight to your e-reader. Many churches and religious organizations give paper Bibles away for free, and you can even read and search the Bible on the Internet.\\n1-4. Do not swear or use God's name in vain, even if it might seem light.\\nSwearing is not proper behavior for Christians. Every time you hear the word swear, replace it with curse so that you can realize the severity of it.\\n1-5. Don't watch porn.\\nIf you have already seen porn, you should realize that sex is not really like what you've seen. God created intercourse for married couples to show love to each other, not to jump into bed the moment they meet. Block all of these sites on your computer, phone, and other devices. If you have a problem with porn, try rewarding yourself each day you go without watching it with something like a piece of candy.\\n1-6. Respect your parents.\\nHug them and give them a day off from chores once in a while. Remember, if it wasn't for your parents, you wouldn't be alive or even here. So, thank them with all your heart.\\n1-7. Be nice to your school friends.\\nHelp them and never tell their secrets. Whenever they're down, cheer them up; think of you as their map. If they're ascending the wrong hill, you get them up the right one. But don't be controlling.\\nTips\\nCarry on with your everyday life. Just because you're Christian, doesn't mean you have to go around with the Bible under your arm, preaching all day.\\nPray.\\nDon't make assumptions about a person or a certain group of people just because of something that someone told you. You can lose friends and miss out on talking to so many interesting people. Also, think of it this way. If someone started telling lies about you and no one wanted to be your friend or talk to you, how would you feel?\\nWarnings\\nNEVER judge others. Even if what they are doing is a sin, it's God's job to judge, not yours.\\nRemember that if God created everything, that means EVERYTHING. No exceptions. So make sure you catch yourself when you think something is wrong in the eyes of God because if it was wrong he wouldn't have made it.\\nNot everyone is a Christian, so do not force your beliefs on anyone.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you been wondering how to be a good Christian as a kid? It can be challenging at times, with peer pressures from school, social media, and even the wrong kinds of friends. But with God's help, you can overcome these temptations and grow your daily walk with Him!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell your parents about this wish.\", \"描述\": \"If they are Christian/s also, they should be able to help you. Ask them the following questions:\\nWere you a Christian when you were my age?\\nAre there any Christian stories you can tell me? (Bible stories, stories that helped them in their faith when they were children, etc.)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"However, if they are not a Christian, carry on.\", \"描述\": \"You should not have to change your faith because of your parents' beliefs, but it may be helpful for you to find a Christian adult to answer any questions you may have, and mentor you in your walk with Christ.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read the Bible.\", \"描述\": \"You can borrow one from the library, or, if you have a Kindle E-Reader you can get one for free on Amazon, sent straight to your e-reader. Many churches and religious organizations give paper Bibles away for free, and you can even read and search the Bible on the Internet.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do not swear or use God's name in vain, even if it might seem light.\", \"描述\": \"Swearing is not proper behavior for Christians. Every time you hear the word swear, replace it with curse so that you can realize the severity of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't watch porn.\", \"描述\": \"If you have already seen porn, you should realize that sex is not really like what you've seen. God created intercourse for married couples to show love to each other, not to jump into bed the moment they meet. Block all of these sites on your computer, phone, and other devices. If you have a problem with porn, try rewarding yourself each day you go without watching it with something like a piece of candy.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Respect your parents.\", \"描述\": \"Hug them and give them a day off from chores once in a while. Remember, if it wasn't for your parents, you wouldn't be alive or even here. So, thank them with all your heart.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be nice to your school friends.\", \"描述\": \"Help them and never tell their secrets. Whenever they're down, cheer them up; think of you as their map. If they're ascending the wrong hill, you get them up the right one. But don't be controlling.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Carry on with your everyday life. Just because you're Christian, doesn't mean you have to go around with the Bible under your arm, preaching all day.\\n\", \"Pray.\\n\", \"Don't make assumptions about a person or a certain group of people just because of something that someone told you. You can lose friends and miss out on talking to so many interesting people. Also, think of it this way. If someone started telling lies about you and no one wanted to be your friend or talk to you, how would you feel?\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"NEVER judge others. Even if what they are doing is a sin, it's God's job to judge, not yours.\\n\", \"Remember that if God created everything, that means EVERYTHING. No exceptions. So make sure you catch yourself when you think something is wrong in the eyes of God because if it was wrong he wouldn't have made it.\\n\", \"Not everyone is a Christian, so do not force your beliefs on anyone.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,427 |
How to Be a Good Christian Wife in Traditional Marriage
|
1. Steps
1-1. Be secure in yourself through keeping Christ's Spirit in your marriage.
Plan to have family worship, sing spiritual songs and have together, worshiping God and developing your walk in Christ. Be sure to and to praise God for your opportunities and for giving you your very life. Have a personal relationship with Jesus. Anything that goes wrong pray to Him and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
1-2. Choose joy in your married life:
J.O.Y. is based upon loving "Jesus", "Others" and then lastly, "Yourself"-"but not least," as the Bible says you are "to love others 'as you love yourself'." So love yourself as much as you love others and then you have the winning concept straight from Christ! This, for example, also means do not try to directly control your husband or other people (try gentle persuasion). J.O.Y. also means that you should not judge wrongly or harshly, but you will yourself and others.
1-3. Learn to pray fervently and effectively.
The Bible says: "Stay in a habit of attending church regularly" with your husband or alone (or with girlfriends), if necessary. "Pray for each other." Pray together and "pray without ceasing" and "honor Christ in all you do and say"... Our physical lives are in Christ and spiritually "His life on this earth is in us and we are in Him." He is (Romans 8:34)
1-4. You can have a long, happy Relationship
Criticizing and putting yourself down to your husband or in front of him in public is a way of insulting his taste in women. Realize that if he is with you, it's because he chose you and wants to be with you. He finds you sexy enough, even if you don't feel like you are; so be there for him. Remember that attitude and willingness are important parts of . Poor self-esteem leaves a hole in your life that is terrible for your marriage. Make sure you continue to actually have occasional fun and help each other have an interesting life together, not just trying to control each other or only teasing about fun. Tease nicely, and mean it. Have a sense of humor.
1-5. Imagine:
"What if your husband is gone tomorrow?" Will you still have girlfriends you see at least once a week, your special church group that you go to, full days and busy evenings? If you were not whole, your husband would always have to be trying to fill a hole in your life. Well, it's one that he won't ever fill, and you might both feel inadequate and unhappy, if you can't keep yourself up with friends and family as well as busy cheerfully serving Christ.
1-6. Express your needs clearly, but don't accuse each other.
Except in case your husband reads minds, don't expect your husband to just know what you want. If you want or need something, ask and discuss it together. Don't just drop hints and figure that he'll get it and "come around" without communicating calmly, clearly and directly. If something is wrong for you, say so. Christian friendships and relationships work best when each partner calmly expresses their current emotion -- without harping on what the other did. Frequently, a "I feel confused", or "I feel sad" is all it takes for him to step back and ask, "Why?" Then simply say, "When you slammed the door, I felt ignored (or insulted)." Let "I feel..." be your key word. Avoid saying "you"--as in "you made me sad." Say "'That' made me feel sad." Take responsibility for your own needs and feelings.
1-7. Don't expect him to give you your dreams.
He needs to keep trying to do well, and you need to keep trying also, but neither of you will ever be perfect. Unsatisfied expectations frustrate everyone. However, if you both continue to work on your marriage, you will always be involved in each others lives, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly too high, very idealistic or unrealistic, you should set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect to be . Have the love of your life at home; staying home, try having home cooking at several meals per week versus going out to eat junk food instead.
1-8. Share the cooking and house chores as much as possible, especially if both work outside the home.
Also, should you want more together time, be prepared to have that desire fulfilled with some effort, washing clothes and cleaning house together and relaxing together.
1-9. Pick your battles.
Nagging and nitpicking can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes get clean and are unbroken, for instance: don't nag about how you want the dishwasher loaded--the "the right way". Let him do such things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what is more important and don't be a complainer. Maybe explain the theory as you show him how you believe it needs to be done one time and then leave it alone. (Ephesians 5:22) but only so far as he is not doing crimes, is not cruel or actually abusive (not the blame game...) to you, the children or other persons.
1-10. Encourage your husband in the Lord:
that he is to do as The Bible says: (Ephesians 5:25) If your husband is not showing love, or affection. Just ask cheerfully for some help and pick a time to give a playful or sexy hug and kiss: he may respond well, if he's not angry--or unless it is not the right place and time.
1-11. Help him to feel comfortable in showing simple verbal and courteous affection without it always leading to sex:
begin this helpful guidance in public with public praise for courtesy and kindness by showing that you are thrilled by that attention; smile, slightly giggle and say something like and try sometimes, or playing "keep away;" having fun--and being alluring and a little bit coy when there is chance of going too far, ie: in front of his in-laws, at the store, and such. This affection and fun will carry over to when you have the chance and the time in private.
1-12. Keep your sex life interesting,
Be willing to try some innocent, new things (or even suggest/approach it affectionately without asking) and discuss them - don't just turn down fun and harmless play when he suggests something you don't feel is appealing immediately. This may make him feel rejected or that you are not having fun. At least be willing to discuss it nicely, and perhaps try it, but never do anything you are uncomfortable with after discussing it with him. Also, don't be afraid to discuss anything you might be interested in. is as important to a marriage as is "emotional intimacy". Nurture them both. (1 Corinthians 7:5)
1-13. Accept him and especially his little mannerisms and habits.
Accept him as he is, so that you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change for you. He has so much to offer you, if you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction that he chooses, and give him the chance to help you similarly.
1-14. Be modest in public:
as such a woman is a lady. (1 Timothy 2:9) Encourage your husband to expect you to be modest in public and erotic in private with him. There is much temptation that results from women feeling as if they need to turn other men on and to show their sensual side in public. One thing may lead to another. Avoid immodesty.
1-15. Always be quick to forgive, quick to repent and quick to believe:
Quick to forgive. Your spouse is not perfect and he will at times upset you, or even hurt your feelings. When this happens you have a choice to make; you either harbor offense and let your heart become hardened, or you can remember how patient and forgiving God is with you and forgive your husband just as you have been forgiven by The Lord.
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Quick to repent. Just as your husband is not perfect neither are you. The Bible says that "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6) It is so important in your relationship with your husband and with God that you be willing to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness when you are wrong, or have acted in an unloving way.
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Quick to believe. 1 Corinthians 13:7 says, "it (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
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1-16. See the best in your husband and in life.
Don't simply focus on the bad about your husband, but see him the way God sees him; focus on the attributes that you love about him and always believe and compliment him, such as: "Honey, God is working in your heart, and so you are becoming more like Christ everyday." The trick is to believe this even when it doesn't look like it! That is real faith in action, believing God can bring it to reality even when you don't see it.
Tips
Developing a great marriage is up to you and your husband as you grow in your Joyful life in Christ, but you can both learn to be wonderful partners for each other by applying what you know. Be vigorous and lively in your pursuits as a loving, affectionate Christian. "15 For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. 16 Act as free, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. 17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the government." [2]
X
Research source
(1 Peter 2:15-17)
Be supportive, encouraging, and compliment him as much as you can. This doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns, but there's a difference between expressing your needs versus criticizing his ability to meet them. Show consistent loyalty and loving regard in his absence and in his presence (whether you're in front of people or you're alone together). Affirm (praise) mutual agreeableness and patience for each other, nicely expecting similar regard and respect from your husband.
Warnings
Violence is not tolerated--if he ever does it, even if he comes back seeming as loving as ever, and apologizes again and again and again--but the violence repeats and even escalates each time. Read How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship.
Don't be a control freak or an angry, aggressive wife. Be fair and honest about what is happening, but not tricky, controlling or self-centered...
If he turns violent, even once, make sure you're safe. Depending on the situation that might mean moving out, or calling the police, or telling someone, who should help you, what's happening; whatever you do: don't continue to suffer horrid behavior in silence, and don't accept abuse (physical, spiritual or emotional) in your relationship.
If you're forced to do things, or your good effort is unappreciated; if he hits you at all; if he tries to control your family or girlfriend that you see, or he demeans you, it's definitely not a good relationship. A real man gets what he wants without forcing. Talk things out or see a counselor.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Be secure in yourself through keeping Christ's Spirit in your marriage.\\nPlan to have family worship, sing spiritual songs and have together, worshiping God and developing your walk in Christ. Be sure to and to praise God for your opportunities and for giving you your very life. Have a personal relationship with Jesus. Anything that goes wrong pray to Him and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5\\n1-2. Choose joy in your married life:\\nJ.O.Y. is based upon loving \\\"Jesus\\\", \\\"Others\\\" and then lastly, \\\"Yourself\\\"-\\\"but not least,\\\" as the Bible says you are \\\"to love others 'as you love yourself'.\\\" So love yourself as much as you love others and then you have the winning concept straight from Christ! This, for example, also means do not try to directly control your husband or other people (try gentle persuasion). J.O.Y. also means that you should not judge wrongly or harshly, but you will yourself and others.\\n1-3. Learn to pray fervently and effectively.\\nThe Bible says: \\\"Stay in a habit of attending church regularly\\\" with your husband or alone (or with girlfriends), if necessary. \\\"Pray for each other.\\\" Pray together and \\\"pray without ceasing\\\" and \\\"honor Christ in all you do and say\\\"... Our physical lives are in Christ and spiritually \\\"His life on this earth is in us and we are in Him.\\\" He is (Romans 8:34)\\n1-4. You can have a long, happy Relationship\\nCriticizing and putting yourself down to your husband or in front of him in public is a way of insulting his taste in women. Realize that if he is with you, it's because he chose you and wants to be with you. He finds you sexy enough, even if you don't feel like you are; so be there for him. Remember that attitude and willingness are important parts of . Poor self-esteem leaves a hole in your life that is terrible for your marriage. Make sure you continue to actually have occasional fun and help each other have an interesting life together, not just trying to control each other or only teasing about fun. Tease nicely, and mean it. Have a sense of humor.\\n1-5. Imagine:\\n\\\"What if your husband is gone tomorrow?\\\" Will you still have girlfriends you see at least once a week, your special church group that you go to, full days and busy evenings? If you were not whole, your husband would always have to be trying to fill a hole in your life. Well, it's one that he won't ever fill, and you might both feel inadequate and unhappy, if you can't keep yourself up with friends and family as well as busy cheerfully serving Christ.\\n1-6. Express your needs clearly, but don't accuse each other.\\nExcept in case your husband reads minds, don't expect your husband to just know what you want. If you want or need something, ask and discuss it together. Don't just drop hints and figure that he'll get it and \\\"come around\\\" without communicating calmly, clearly and directly. If something is wrong for you, say so. Christian friendships and relationships work best when each partner calmly expresses their current emotion -- without harping on what the other did. Frequently, a \\\"I feel confused\\\", or \\\"I feel sad\\\" is all it takes for him to step back and ask, \\\"Why?\\\" Then simply say, \\\"When you slammed the door, I felt ignored (or insulted).\\\" Let \\\"I feel...\\\" be your key word. Avoid saying \\\"you\\\"--as in \\\"you made me sad.\\\" Say \\\"'That' made me feel sad.\\\" Take responsibility for your own needs and feelings.\\n1-7. Don't expect him to give you your dreams.\\nHe needs to keep trying to do well, and you need to keep trying also, but neither of you will ever be perfect. Unsatisfied expectations frustrate everyone. However, if you both continue to work on your marriage, you will always be involved in each others lives, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly too high, very idealistic or unrealistic, you should set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect to be . Have the love of your life at home; staying home, try having home cooking at several meals per week versus going out to eat junk food instead.\\n1-8. Share the cooking and house chores as much as possible, especially if both work outside the home.\\nAlso, should you want more together time, be prepared to have that desire fulfilled with some effort, washing clothes and cleaning house together and relaxing together.\\n1-9. Pick your battles.\\nNagging and nitpicking can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes get clean and are unbroken, for instance: don't nag about how you want the dishwasher loaded--the \\\"the right way\\\". Let him do such things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what is more important and don't be a complainer. Maybe explain the theory as you show him how you believe it needs to be done one time and then leave it alone. (Ephesians 5:22) but only so far as he is not doing crimes, is not cruel or actually abusive (not the blame game...) to you, the children or other persons.\\n1-10. Encourage your husband in the Lord:\\nthat he is to do as The Bible says: (Ephesians 5:25) If your husband is not showing love, or affection. Just ask cheerfully for some help and pick a time to give a playful or sexy hug and kiss: he may respond well, if he's not angry--or unless it is not the right place and time.\\n1-11. Help him to feel comfortable in showing simple verbal and courteous affection without it always leading to sex:\\nbegin this helpful guidance in public with public praise for courtesy and kindness by showing that you are thrilled by that attention; smile, slightly giggle and say something like and try sometimes, or playing \\\"keep away;\\\" having fun--and being alluring and a little bit coy when there is chance of going too far, ie: in front of his in-laws, at the store, and such. This affection and fun will carry over to when you have the chance and the time in private.\\n1-12. Keep your sex life interesting,\\nBe willing to try some innocent, new things (or even suggest/approach it affectionately without asking) and discuss them - don't just turn down fun and harmless play when he suggests something you don't feel is appealing immediately. This may make him feel rejected or that you are not having fun. At least be willing to discuss it nicely, and perhaps try it, but never do anything you are uncomfortable with after discussing it with him. Also, don't be afraid to discuss anything you might be interested in. is as important to a marriage as is \\\"emotional intimacy\\\". Nurture them both. (1 Corinthians 7:5)\\n1-13. Accept him and especially his little mannerisms and habits.\\nAccept him as he is, so that you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change for you. He has so much to offer you, if you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction that he chooses, and give him the chance to help you similarly.\\n1-14. Be modest in public:\\nas such a woman is a lady. (1 Timothy 2:9) Encourage your husband to expect you to be modest in public and erotic in private with him. There is much temptation that results from women feeling as if they need to turn other men on and to show their sensual side in public. One thing may lead to another. Avoid immodesty.\\n1-15. Always be quick to forgive, quick to repent and quick to believe:\\nQuick to forgive. Your spouse is not perfect and he will at times upset you, or even hurt your feelings. When this happens you have a choice to make; you either harbor offense and let your heart become hardened, or you can remember how patient and forgiving God is with you and forgive your husband just as you have been forgiven by The Lord.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/4\\\\/42\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-15.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-15.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/4\\\\/42\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-15.jpg\\\\/aid463572-v4-728px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-15.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nQuick to repent. Just as your husband is not perfect neither are you. The Bible says that \\\"God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble\\\" (James 4:6) It is so important in your relationship with your husband and with God that you be willing to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness when you are wrong, or have acted in an unloving way.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/3b\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-16.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-16.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/3b\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-16.jpg\\\\/aid463572-v4-728px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-16.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nQuick to believe. 1 Corinthians 13:7 says, \\\"it (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.\\\"\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/3f\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-17.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-17.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/3f\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-17.jpg\\\\/aid463572-v4-728px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-17.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n1-16. See the best in your husband and in life.\\nDon't simply focus on the bad about your husband, but see him the way God sees him; focus on the attributes that you love about him and always believe and compliment him, such as: \\\"Honey, God is working in your heart, and so you are becoming more like Christ everyday.\\\" The trick is to believe this even when it doesn't look like it! That is real faith in action, believing God can bring it to reality even when you don't see it.\\nTips\\nDeveloping a great marriage is up to you and your husband as you grow in your Joyful life in Christ, but you can both learn to be wonderful partners for each other by applying what you know. Be vigorous and lively in your pursuits as a loving, affectionate Christian. \\\"15 For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. 16 Act as free, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. 17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the government.\\\" [2]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n(1 Peter 2:15-17)\\nBe supportive, encouraging, and compliment him as much as you can. This doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns, but there's a difference between expressing your needs versus criticizing his ability to meet them. Show consistent loyalty and loving regard in his absence and in his presence (whether you're in front of people or you're alone together). Affirm (praise) mutual agreeableness and patience for each other, nicely expecting similar regard and respect from your husband.\\nWarnings\\nViolence is not tolerated--if he ever does it, even if he comes back seeming as loving as ever, and apologizes again and again and again--but the violence repeats and even escalates each time. Read How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship.\\nDon't be a control freak or an angry, aggressive wife. Be fair and honest about what is happening, but not tricky, controlling or self-centered...\\nIf he turns violent, even once, make sure you're safe. Depending on the situation that might mean moving out, or calling the police, or telling someone, who should help you, what's happening; whatever you do: don't continue to suffer horrid behavior in silence, and don't accept abuse (physical, spiritual or emotional) in your relationship.\\nIf you're forced to do things, or your good effort is unappreciated; if he hits you at all; if he tries to control your family or girlfriend that you see, or he demeans you, it's definitely not a good relationship. A real man gets what he wants without forcing. Talk things out or see a counselor.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The Bible says, \\\"Wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if some husbands are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.\\\"(1 Peter 3:1-4) Do you sometimes think about what it takes to have a wonderful married relationship as a female, good Christian-wife in a traditional marriage consisting of one male with one female? Actually, it's up to you and your husband as traditional Christians to work through your relationship in Christ and how you can each do your part to fulfill the desires and needs of each other. You can be a great wife and glorify God in your own family that you've formed together, and here are some suggestions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be secure in yourself through keeping Christ's Spirit in your marriage.\", \"描述\": \"Plan to have family worship, sing spiritual songs and have together, worshiping God and developing your walk in Christ. Be sure to and to praise God for your opportunities and for giving you your very life. Have a personal relationship with Jesus. Anything that goes wrong pray to Him and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose joy in your married life:\", \"描述\": \"J.O.Y. is based upon loving \\\"Jesus\\\", \\\"Others\\\" and then lastly, \\\"Yourself\\\"-\\\"but not least,\\\" as the Bible says you are \\\"to love others 'as you love yourself'.\\\" So love yourself as much as you love others and then you have the winning concept straight from Christ! This, for example, also means do not try to directly control your husband or other people (try gentle persuasion). J.O.Y. also means that you should not judge wrongly or harshly, but you will yourself and others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to pray fervently and effectively.\", \"描述\": \"The Bible says: \\\"Stay in a habit of attending church regularly\\\" with your husband or alone (or with girlfriends), if necessary. \\\"Pray for each other.\\\" Pray together and \\\"pray without ceasing\\\" and \\\"honor Christ in all you do and say\\\"... Our physical lives are in Christ and spiritually \\\"His life on this earth is in us and we are in Him.\\\" He is (Romans 8:34)\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"You can have a long, happy Relationship\", \"描述\": \"Criticizing and putting yourself down to your husband or in front of him in public is a way of insulting his taste in women. Realize that if he is with you, it's because he chose you and wants to be with you. He finds you sexy enough, even if you don't feel like you are; so be there for him. Remember that attitude and willingness are important parts of . Poor self-esteem leaves a hole in your life that is terrible for your marriage. Make sure you continue to actually have occasional fun and help each other have an interesting life together, not just trying to control each other or only teasing about fun. Tease nicely, and mean it. Have a sense of humor.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Imagine:\", \"描述\": \"\\\"What if your husband is gone tomorrow?\\\" Will you still have girlfriends you see at least once a week, your special church group that you go to, full days and busy evenings? If you were not whole, your husband would always have to be trying to fill a hole in your life. Well, it's one that he won't ever fill, and you might both feel inadequate and unhappy, if you can't keep yourself up with friends and family as well as busy cheerfully serving Christ.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Express your needs clearly, but don't accuse each other.\", \"描述\": \"Except in case your husband reads minds, don't expect your husband to just know what you want. If you want or need something, ask and discuss it together. Don't just drop hints and figure that he'll get it and \\\"come around\\\" without communicating calmly, clearly and directly. If something is wrong for you, say so. Christian friendships and relationships work best when each partner calmly expresses their current emotion -- without harping on what the other did. Frequently, a \\\"I feel confused\\\", or \\\"I feel sad\\\" is all it takes for him to step back and ask, \\\"Why?\\\" Then simply say, \\\"When you slammed the door, I felt ignored (or insulted).\\\" Let \\\"I feel...\\\" be your key word. Avoid saying \\\"you\\\"--as in \\\"you made me sad.\\\" Say \\\"'That' made me feel sad.\\\" Take responsibility for your own needs and feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't expect him to give you your dreams.\", \"描述\": \"He needs to keep trying to do well, and you need to keep trying also, but neither of you will ever be perfect. Unsatisfied expectations frustrate everyone. However, if you both continue to work on your marriage, you will always be involved in each others lives, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly too high, very idealistic or unrealistic, you should set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect to be . Have the love of your life at home; staying home, try having home cooking at several meals per week versus going out to eat junk food instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Share the cooking and house chores as much as possible, especially if both work outside the home.\", \"描述\": \"Also, should you want more together time, be prepared to have that desire fulfilled with some effort, washing clothes and cleaning house together and relaxing together.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Pick your battles.\", \"描述\": \"Nagging and nitpicking can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes get clean and are unbroken, for instance: don't nag about how you want the dishwasher loaded--the \\\"the right way\\\". Let him do such things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what is more important and don't be a complainer. Maybe explain the theory as you show him how you believe it needs to be done one time and then leave it alone. (Ephesians 5:22) but only so far as he is not doing crimes, is not cruel or actually abusive (not the blame game...) to you, the children or other persons.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Encourage your husband in the Lord:\", \"描述\": \"that he is to do as The Bible says: (Ephesians 5:25) If your husband is not showing love, or affection. Just ask cheerfully for some help and pick a time to give a playful or sexy hug and kiss: he may respond well, if he's not angry--or unless it is not the right place and time.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Help him to feel comfortable in showing simple verbal and courteous affection without it always leading to sex:\", \"描述\": \"begin this helpful guidance in public with public praise for courtesy and kindness by showing that you are thrilled by that attention; smile, slightly giggle and say something like and try sometimes, or playing \\\"keep away;\\\" having fun--and being alluring and a little bit coy when there is chance of going too far, ie: in front of his in-laws, at the store, and such. This affection and fun will carry over to when you have the chance and the time in private.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Keep your sex life interesting,\", \"描述\": \"Be willing to try some innocent, new things (or even suggest/approach it affectionately without asking) and discuss them - don't just turn down fun and harmless play when he suggests something you don't feel is appealing immediately. This may make him feel rejected or that you are not having fun. At least be willing to discuss it nicely, and perhaps try it, but never do anything you are uncomfortable with after discussing it with him. Also, don't be afraid to discuss anything you might be interested in. is as important to a marriage as is \\\"emotional intimacy\\\". Nurture them both. (1 Corinthians 7:5)\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Accept him and especially his little mannerisms and habits.\", \"描述\": \"Accept him as he is, so that you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change for you. He has so much to offer you, if you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction that he chooses, and give him the chance to help you similarly.\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Be modest in public:\", \"描述\": \"as such a woman is a lady. (1 Timothy 2:9) Encourage your husband to expect you to be modest in public and erotic in private with him. There is much temptation that results from women feeling as if they need to turn other men on and to show their sensual side in public. One thing may lead to another. Avoid immodesty.\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Always be quick to forgive, quick to repent and quick to believe:\", \"描述\": \"Quick to forgive. Your spouse is not perfect and he will at times upset you, or even hurt your feelings. When this happens you have a choice to make; you either harbor offense and let your heart become hardened, or you can remember how patient and forgiving God is with you and forgive your husband just as you have been forgiven by The Lord.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/4\\\\/42\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-15.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-15.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/4\\\\/42\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-15.jpg\\\\/aid463572-v4-728px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-15.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nQuick to repent. Just as your husband is not perfect neither are you. The Bible says that \\\"God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble\\\" (James 4:6) It is so important in your relationship with your husband and with God that you be willing to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness when you are wrong, or have acted in an unloving way.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/3b\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-16.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-16.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/3b\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-16.jpg\\\\/aid463572-v4-728px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-16.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nQuick to believe. 1 Corinthians 13:7 says, \\\"it (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.\\\"\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/3f\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-17.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-17.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/3f\\\\/Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-17.jpg\\\\/aid463572-v4-728px-Be-a-Good-Christian-Wife-in-Traditional-Marriage-Step-17.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"See the best in your husband and in life.\", \"描述\": \"Don't simply focus on the bad about your husband, but see him the way God sees him; focus on the attributes that you love about him and always believe and compliment him, such as: \\\"Honey, God is working in your heart, and so you are becoming more like Christ everyday.\\\" The trick is to believe this even when it doesn't look like it! That is real faith in action, believing God can bring it to reality even when you don't see it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Developing a great marriage is up to you and your husband as you grow in your Joyful life in Christ, but you can both learn to be wonderful partners for each other by applying what you know. Be vigorous and lively in your pursuits as a loving, affectionate Christian. \\\"15 For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. 16 Act as free, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. 17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the government.\\\" [2]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n(1 Peter 2:15-17)\\n\", \"Be supportive, encouraging, and compliment him as much as you can. This doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns, but there's a difference between expressing your needs versus criticizing his ability to meet them. Show consistent loyalty and loving regard in his absence and in his presence (whether you're in front of people or you're alone together). Affirm (praise) mutual agreeableness and patience for each other, nicely expecting similar regard and respect from your husband.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Violence is not tolerated--if he ever does it, even if he comes back seeming as loving as ever, and apologizes again and again and again--but the violence repeats and even escalates each time. Read How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship.\\n\", \"Don't be a control freak or an angry, aggressive wife. Be fair and honest about what is happening, but not tricky, controlling or self-centered...\\n\", \"If he turns violent, even once, make sure you're safe. Depending on the situation that might mean moving out, or calling the police, or telling someone, who should help you, what's happening; whatever you do: don't continue to suffer horrid behavior in silence, and don't accept abuse (physical, spiritual or emotional) in your relationship.\\n\", \"If you're forced to do things, or your good effort is unappreciated; if he hits you at all; if he tries to control your family or girlfriend that you see, or he demeans you, it's definitely not a good relationship. A real man gets what he wants without forcing. Talk things out or see a counselor.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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How to Be a Good Citizen
|
1. Helping Your Community
1-1. Get a good education.
One of the best things you can do to help your community is to get a good education. When you're well educated, you can get better jobs and contribute more to the economy. You can also be better informed and make good decisions when it comes to voting and other civic activities. Pay attention in school, get good grades, and try to go to college.
1-2. Work hard.
No matter what job you have, working hard is an important part of being a good citizen. When you work hard, you provide services to others and you earn money, both of which contribute to a stronger economy in your area.
If you find yourself unemployed, seek out your local unemployment office for help in finding a new job. Googling "unemployment office" and the name of your state should bring up the information, if you don't know it.
1-3. Stay up-to-date on the news.
Read the news and stay fully informed on issues that affect you, your area, and the rest of the country. And the word "fully" is key here: listen to what people say on both sides of the party line and try to stay impartial. Most issues are very complex and go beyond the basic black and white of party politics.
Get involved in planning processes too. Have your say in whether new supermarkets, box stores and housing estates have their place in your corner of the world. Find out what environment, social and health benefits these projects promise for the local community (beyond the profit motives) and speak with your representative and at city council meetings to let them know what you think.
1-4. Share your good fortune.
When you do well enough that you have extra time, money, or items, give back to your community by paying that good fortune forward. There are lots of great ways that you can help your community:
Volunteer. You can volunteer with local branches of organizations that mean a lot to you. Try Habitat for Humanity which builds homes for the less fortunate, or Big Brothers Big Sisters, which provides mentorship to at-risk youth.
Help the homeless. You can volunteer at a local soup kitchen or shelter to help homeless people stay safe and healthy.
Donate. You can donate your money to lots of organizations: local, national, and international. Just be sure that whoever you donate to is a good organization that uses their money well. Many charities do not and are really just a money factory for the people that run them. Try using Charity Navigator or the BBB to find out if the organization you want to help is really on the up and up.
1-5. Donate blood and plasma
Blood and plasma are vital bodily fluids that are used to save the lives of thousands and thousands of people each day. There are often shortages, so it's great if you do your part and donate. If you have a rare blood type, you can literally be the difference between life and death for someone in your community.
Donating blood and plasma is especially important when there's been a major crisis. Massive numbers of injuries often result in serious blood shortages.
1-6. Get emergency training.
Get trained in CPR and First Aid, as well as other emergency training like disaster preparedness training, so that you can help your fellow citizens when an emergency arises. If you've had this training before, it's a good idea to do it again every few years. This helps you to keep those skills fresh. It's easy to forget them when you're under pressure!
1-7. Create jobs.
Create the opportunity to work whenever you can. Hire and fairly pay someone to cut your lawn or paint your house. Hire a maid every few months. This contributes to the economy and gives a job to someone who is often very much in need.
Contact your local homeless shelter about finding workers there. Oftentimes, homeless people are simply regular folks who ran on hard times and the small amount of money they earn from your job can be enough to help them get back on their feet.
1-8. Stay healthy.
It's important to take care of your body and stay as healthy as possible. When you get sick, you put others at risk and you take up valuable space in doctor's offices and hospitals that could go towards someone else. Exercise, eat right and make sure you stay current on all your shots.
If you need help with exercise or eating healthy, wikiHow can help.
With many vaccine-preventable childhood diseases on the rise, it may be a good idea to update yours. You aren't yourself at risk, as an adult, but the unvaccinated children around you are.
2. Being Civically Active
2-1. Vote.
The most important thing you can do as a citizen is vote. It's easy to forget or feel disinterested and only vote during the really major elections, but it's very important to vote in every election you can. Running the country goes beyond which party is currently in power. You also need to vote for your direct representatives, who often play a much more major role in what changes happen in the country.
It's also important to vote in local elections. At the state and county level, you'll often vote on things like transportation initiatives, which can affect how people get to work, and other important laws and measures that affect your area.
2-2. Serve on jury duty.
Jury duty is no fun, but it's vital to maintain a functional judicial system (at least in the US). When good people like yourself pass on jury duty, it often leaves a lot of people who do jury duty for the wrong reasons or who really won't care or and pay attention. When your number is up, take on the challenge and serve your country in your own way.
When you serve on jury duty, make sure you find out the rules you must follow to prevent causing a mistrial, as this is a waste of the court's time and can be distressing to the people who are having their case heard. Sometimes juror misconduct can be as innocent as a juror trying to learn more about the case, although jurors are only supposed to know what is presented in court.
2-3. Contact your representative about issues that matter to you.
When there are issues that matter to you, it's very important to contact your representative and tell them what you think. Even if you're too young to vote or you didn't vote for them, they still represent you and it's important for them to stay in touch with what people really believe.
If you don't know how to contact your representative or who your representative is, you can go to the official website here to find out.
2-4. Volunteer at elections time.
When elections do happen, extra help is often needed to make sure that everyone's vote gets counted. You can volunteer with the elections office or your preferred party and help man voting stations, count votes, and fill other support roles.
2-5. Help get others engaged.
Help others to also get civically engaged by volunteering with your preferred political party or elections office to help get people registered to vote, recruit people to gather petitions, and do other civic activities. Encourage your friends and family members to join you in these activities or go door to door with an organization to recruit strangers.
3. Protecting Your City's Future
3-1. Recycle.
Recycle papers and plastics according to your city's recycling system. The recycling is often collected with the garbage but in a separate container. You can find recyclable items by looking for the recycle symbol used by your country. Generally, most items made from paper and plastic can be recycled, so long as they don't contain food and are not covered in wax.
Recycling helps cut down on waste that fills up landfills.
3-2. Compost
Compost leftover food and organic material to help keep down waste even further. Some cities collect compost, but otherwise, you'll need to compost it yourself in your back yard.
Items you can compost include leftover food, extra pieces of ingredients (like the leaves from carrots), and unbleached paper.
Compost by collecting all of these items together in a large box outside. Turn the mixture every few weeks and add soil, until the whole thing looks like a single mixture. This can often take months.
When the compost is done, it can be sold or it can be used to provide nutrients to your own yard or garden.
3-3. Pick up litter.
If you see trash lying around don't just stare at it and walk past it. Try to make time once a month to go around your neighborhood and pick up all of the trash that you see. Just be sure to use a grabbing stick or gardening gloves, to prevent hurting yourself on something dangerous.
You can also join citywide groups that go around the city and pick up litter in the most affected areas. Contact your city hall to locate a group for your city.
3-4. Watch where and how you wash your car.
The soaps used for washing cars are very destructive to the environment (often contaminating your drinking water!), so start by washing your car less often and washing your car yourself. When you do wash your car, use environmentally friendly products.
At a minimum, move your car onto the grass in order to wash it. This will help keep the chemicals out of your drinking water.
Try to go waterless and simply clean your car with a green window or all-purpose cleaner.
3-5. Buy local produce.
Buy your food from local farmers and food producers as much as possible. This will minimize the environmental impact of having to transport the food a long way, it helps ensure that your food is safe and free of dangerous chemicals or pests, and it contributes to your local economy.
Food is often labeled with where it was produced. Look for products that are organic and as close to where you live as possible.
3-6. Conserve water.
There is likely to be a significant water crisis in our lifetime, so conserve as much clean water as you can. While our planet is covered in water, only so much of it is drinkable and we use a lot of that for unnecessary things, like watering grass and taking extra long showers.
If you want to water your lawn, use gray water (which is the water left over from preparing food or taking a shower).
Take showers that last 10 minutes or less and wash your hair only every other day.
Avoid having things like swimming pools, which take lots of water out of the system and make it undrinkable.
3-7. Conserve energy.
Currently, many of the methods used to create energy to power our homes and devices are also very destructive to the environment. Try to use clean energy, by setting up solar panels, and conserve the energy you do use.
Turn off lights in empty rooms.
Spend less time on the computer and more time reading books.
3-8. Use public transportation.
Skip on driving a car and instead take a bus. Not only will you help save the planet from the ravages of pollution, you'll also be helping to financially support public transit, which is vital to low-income households (who often don't own cars).]
3-9. Join your local library.
It's free and you will be helping to maintain public services and supporting low-income households, who often can't afford books or the Internet.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Helping Your Community\\n1-1. Get a good education.\\nOne of the best things you can do to help your community is to get a good education. When you're well educated, you can get better jobs and contribute more to the economy. You can also be better informed and make good decisions when it comes to voting and other civic activities. Pay attention in school, get good grades, and try to go to college.\\n1-2. Work hard.\\nNo matter what job you have, working hard is an important part of being a good citizen. When you work hard, you provide services to others and you earn money, both of which contribute to a stronger economy in your area. \\nIf you find yourself unemployed, seek out your local unemployment office for help in finding a new job. Googling \\\"unemployment office\\\" and the name of your state should bring up the information, if you don't know it.\\n1-3. Stay up-to-date on the news.\\nRead the news and stay fully informed on issues that affect you, your area, and the rest of the country. And the word \\\"fully\\\" is key here: listen to what people say on both sides of the party line and try to stay impartial. Most issues are very complex and go beyond the basic black and white of party politics. \\nGet involved in planning processes too. Have your say in whether new supermarkets, box stores and housing estates have their place in your corner of the world. Find out what environment, social and health benefits these projects promise for the local community (beyond the profit motives) and speak with your representative and at city council meetings to let them know what you think.\\n1-4. Share your good fortune.\\nWhen you do well enough that you have extra time, money, or items, give back to your community by paying that good fortune forward. There are lots of great ways that you can help your community: \\n\\nVolunteer. You can volunteer with local branches of organizations that mean a lot to you. Try Habitat for Humanity which builds homes for the less fortunate, or Big Brothers Big Sisters, which provides mentorship to at-risk youth.\\nHelp the homeless. You can volunteer at a local soup kitchen or shelter to help homeless people stay safe and healthy.\\nDonate. You can donate your money to lots of organizations: local, national, and international. Just be sure that whoever you donate to is a good organization that uses their money well. Many charities do not and are really just a money factory for the people that run them. Try using Charity Navigator or the BBB to find out if the organization you want to help is really on the up and up.\\n1-5. Donate blood and plasma\\nBlood and plasma are vital bodily fluids that are used to save the lives of thousands and thousands of people each day. There are often shortages, so it's great if you do your part and donate. If you have a rare blood type, you can literally be the difference between life and death for someone in your community. \\nDonating blood and plasma is especially important when there's been a major crisis. Massive numbers of injuries often result in serious blood shortages.\\n1-6. Get emergency training.\\nGet trained in CPR and First Aid, as well as other emergency training like disaster preparedness training, so that you can help your fellow citizens when an emergency arises. If you've had this training before, it's a good idea to do it again every few years. This helps you to keep those skills fresh. It's easy to forget them when you're under pressure!\\n1-7. Create jobs.\\nCreate the opportunity to work whenever you can. Hire and fairly pay someone to cut your lawn or paint your house. Hire a maid every few months. This contributes to the economy and gives a job to someone who is often very much in need.\\nContact your local homeless shelter about finding workers there. Oftentimes, homeless people are simply regular folks who ran on hard times and the small amount of money they earn from your job can be enough to help them get back on their feet.\\n1-8. Stay healthy.\\nIt's important to take care of your body and stay as healthy as possible. When you get sick, you put others at risk and you take up valuable space in doctor's offices and hospitals that could go towards someone else. Exercise, eat right and make sure you stay current on all your shots.\\nIf you need help with exercise or eating healthy, wikiHow can help.\\nWith many vaccine-preventable childhood diseases on the rise, it may be a good idea to update yours. You aren't yourself at risk, as an adult, but the unvaccinated children around you are.\\n2. Being Civically Active\\n2-1. Vote.\\nThe most important thing you can do as a citizen is vote. It's easy to forget or feel disinterested and only vote during the really major elections, but it's very important to vote in every election you can. Running the country goes beyond which party is currently in power. You also need to vote for your direct representatives, who often play a much more major role in what changes happen in the country. \\nIt's also important to vote in local elections. At the state and county level, you'll often vote on things like transportation initiatives, which can affect how people get to work, and other important laws and measures that affect your area.\\n2-2. Serve on jury duty.\\nJury duty is no fun, but it's vital to maintain a functional judicial system (at least in the US). When good people like yourself pass on jury duty, it often leaves a lot of people who do jury duty for the wrong reasons or who really won't care or and pay attention. When your number is up, take on the challenge and serve your country in your own way.\\nWhen you serve on jury duty, make sure you find out the rules you must follow to prevent causing a mistrial, as this is a waste of the court's time and can be distressing to the people who are having their case heard. Sometimes juror misconduct can be as innocent as a juror trying to learn more about the case, although jurors are only supposed to know what is presented in court.\\n2-3. Contact your representative about issues that matter to you.\\nWhen there are issues that matter to you, it's very important to contact your representative and tell them what you think. Even if you're too young to vote or you didn't vote for them, they still represent you and it's important for them to stay in touch with what people really believe. \\nIf you don't know how to contact your representative or who your representative is, you can go to the official website here to find out.\\n2-4. Volunteer at elections time.\\nWhen elections do happen, extra help is often needed to make sure that everyone's vote gets counted. You can volunteer with the elections office or your preferred party and help man voting stations, count votes, and fill other support roles.\\n2-5. Help get others engaged.\\nHelp others to also get civically engaged by volunteering with your preferred political party or elections office to help get people registered to vote, recruit people to gather petitions, and do other civic activities. Encourage your friends and family members to join you in these activities or go door to door with an organization to recruit strangers.\\n3. Protecting Your City's Future\\n3-1. Recycle.\\nRecycle papers and plastics according to your city's recycling system. The recycling is often collected with the garbage but in a separate container. You can find recyclable items by looking for the recycle symbol used by your country. Generally, most items made from paper and plastic can be recycled, so long as they don't contain food and are not covered in wax.\\nRecycling helps cut down on waste that fills up landfills.\\n3-2. Compost\\nCompost leftover food and organic material to help keep down waste even further. Some cities collect compost, but otherwise, you'll need to compost it yourself in your back yard.\\nItems you can compost include leftover food, extra pieces of ingredients (like the leaves from carrots), and unbleached paper.\\nCompost by collecting all of these items together in a large box outside. Turn the mixture every few weeks and add soil, until the whole thing looks like a single mixture. This can often take months.\\nWhen the compost is done, it can be sold or it can be used to provide nutrients to your own yard or garden.\\n3-3. Pick up litter.\\nIf you see trash lying around don't just stare at it and walk past it. Try to make time once a month to go around your neighborhood and pick up all of the trash that you see. Just be sure to use a grabbing stick or gardening gloves, to prevent hurting yourself on something dangerous. \\nYou can also join citywide groups that go around the city and pick up litter in the most affected areas. Contact your city hall to locate a group for your city.\\n3-4. Watch where and how you wash your car.\\nThe soaps used for washing cars are very destructive to the environment (often contaminating your drinking water!), so start by washing your car less often and washing your car yourself. When you do wash your car, use environmentally friendly products.\\nAt a minimum, move your car onto the grass in order to wash it. This will help keep the chemicals out of your drinking water.\\nTry to go waterless and simply clean your car with a green window or all-purpose cleaner.\\n3-5. Buy local produce.\\nBuy your food from local farmers and food producers as much as possible. This will minimize the environmental impact of having to transport the food a long way, it helps ensure that your food is safe and free of dangerous chemicals or pests, and it contributes to your local economy.\\nFood is often labeled with where it was produced. Look for products that are organic and as close to where you live as possible.\\n3-6. Conserve water.\\nThere is likely to be a significant water crisis in our lifetime, so conserve as much clean water as you can. While our planet is covered in water, only so much of it is drinkable and we use a lot of that for unnecessary things, like watering grass and taking extra long showers.\\nIf you want to water your lawn, use gray water (which is the water left over from preparing food or taking a shower).\\nTake showers that last 10 minutes or less and wash your hair only every other day.\\nAvoid having things like swimming pools, which take lots of water out of the system and make it undrinkable.\\n3-7. Conserve energy.\\nCurrently, many of the methods used to create energy to power our homes and devices are also very destructive to the environment. Try to use clean energy, by setting up solar panels, and conserve the energy you do use. \\nTurn off lights in empty rooms.\\nSpend less time on the computer and more time reading books.\\n3-8. Use public transportation.\\nSkip on driving a car and instead take a bus. Not only will you help save the planet from the ravages of pollution, you'll also be helping to financially support public transit, which is vital to low-income households (who often don't own cars).]\\n3-9. Join your local library.\\nIt's free and you will be helping to maintain public services and supporting low-income households, who often can't afford books or the Internet.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good citizen is more than simply voting. Good citizens are actively involved in their community and in the betterment of their fellow citizens. They take pride in where they live and strive to make it a better place. We all want to be known as a good citizen, and with a little thought and effort, anyone can be one.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Helping Your Community\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get a good education.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best things you can do to help your community is to get a good education. When you're well educated, you can get better jobs and contribute more to the economy. You can also be better informed and make good decisions when it comes to voting and other civic activities. Pay attention in school, get good grades, and try to go to college.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work hard.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what job you have, working hard is an important part of being a good citizen. When you work hard, you provide services to others and you earn money, both of which contribute to a stronger economy in your area. \\nIf you find yourself unemployed, seek out your local unemployment office for help in finding a new job. Googling \\\"unemployment office\\\" and the name of your state should bring up the information, if you don't know it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay up-to-date on the news.\", \"描述\": \"Read the news and stay fully informed on issues that affect you, your area, and the rest of the country. And the word \\\"fully\\\" is key here: listen to what people say on both sides of the party line and try to stay impartial. Most issues are very complex and go beyond the basic black and white of party politics. \\nGet involved in planning processes too. Have your say in whether new supermarkets, box stores and housing estates have their place in your corner of the world. Find out what environment, social and health benefits these projects promise for the local community (beyond the profit motives) and speak with your representative and at city council meetings to let them know what you think.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Share your good fortune.\", \"描述\": \"When you do well enough that you have extra time, money, or items, give back to your community by paying that good fortune forward. There are lots of great ways that you can help your community: \\n\\nVolunteer. You can volunteer with local branches of organizations that mean a lot to you. Try Habitat for Humanity which builds homes for the less fortunate, or Big Brothers Big Sisters, which provides mentorship to at-risk youth.\\nHelp the homeless. You can volunteer at a local soup kitchen or shelter to help homeless people stay safe and healthy.\\nDonate. You can donate your money to lots of organizations: local, national, and international. Just be sure that whoever you donate to is a good organization that uses their money well. Many charities do not and are really just a money factory for the people that run them. Try using Charity Navigator or the BBB to find out if the organization you want to help is really on the up and up.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Donate blood and plasma\", \"描述\": \"Blood and plasma are vital bodily fluids that are used to save the lives of thousands and thousands of people each day. There are often shortages, so it's great if you do your part and donate. If you have a rare blood type, you can literally be the difference between life and death for someone in your community. \\nDonating blood and plasma is especially important when there's been a major crisis. Massive numbers of injuries often result in serious blood shortages.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get emergency training.\", \"描述\": \"Get trained in CPR and First Aid, as well as other emergency training like disaster preparedness training, so that you can help your fellow citizens when an emergency arises. If you've had this training before, it's a good idea to do it again every few years. This helps you to keep those skills fresh. It's easy to forget them when you're under pressure!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Create jobs.\", \"描述\": \"Create the opportunity to work whenever you can. Hire and fairly pay someone to cut your lawn or paint your house. Hire a maid every few months. This contributes to the economy and gives a job to someone who is often very much in need.\\nContact your local homeless shelter about finding workers there. Oftentimes, homeless people are simply regular folks who ran on hard times and the small amount of money they earn from your job can be enough to help them get back on their feet.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Stay healthy.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to take care of your body and stay as healthy as possible. When you get sick, you put others at risk and you take up valuable space in doctor's offices and hospitals that could go towards someone else. Exercise, eat right and make sure you stay current on all your shots.\\nIf you need help with exercise or eating healthy, wikiHow can help.\\nWith many vaccine-preventable childhood diseases on the rise, it may be a good idea to update yours. You aren't yourself at risk, as an adult, but the unvaccinated children around you are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Civically Active\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Vote.\", \"描述\": \"The most important thing you can do as a citizen is vote. It's easy to forget or feel disinterested and only vote during the really major elections, but it's very important to vote in every election you can. Running the country goes beyond which party is currently in power. You also need to vote for your direct representatives, who often play a much more major role in what changes happen in the country. \\nIt's also important to vote in local elections. At the state and county level, you'll often vote on things like transportation initiatives, which can affect how people get to work, and other important laws and measures that affect your area.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Serve on jury duty.\", \"描述\": \"Jury duty is no fun, but it's vital to maintain a functional judicial system (at least in the US). When good people like yourself pass on jury duty, it often leaves a lot of people who do jury duty for the wrong reasons or who really won't care or and pay attention. When your number is up, take on the challenge and serve your country in your own way.\\nWhen you serve on jury duty, make sure you find out the rules you must follow to prevent causing a mistrial, as this is a waste of the court's time and can be distressing to the people who are having their case heard. Sometimes juror misconduct can be as innocent as a juror trying to learn more about the case, although jurors are only supposed to know what is presented in court.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Contact your representative about issues that matter to you.\", \"描述\": \"When there are issues that matter to you, it's very important to contact your representative and tell them what you think. Even if you're too young to vote or you didn't vote for them, they still represent you and it's important for them to stay in touch with what people really believe. \\nIf you don't know how to contact your representative or who your representative is, you can go to the official website here to find out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Volunteer at elections time.\", \"描述\": \"When elections do happen, extra help is often needed to make sure that everyone's vote gets counted. You can volunteer with the elections office or your preferred party and help man voting stations, count votes, and fill other support roles.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Help get others engaged.\", \"描述\": \"Help others to also get civically engaged by volunteering with your preferred political party or elections office to help get people registered to vote, recruit people to gather petitions, and do other civic activities. Encourage your friends and family members to join you in these activities or go door to door with an organization to recruit strangers.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Protecting Your City's Future\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recycle.\", \"描述\": \"Recycle papers and plastics according to your city's recycling system. The recycling is often collected with the garbage but in a separate container. You can find recyclable items by looking for the recycle symbol used by your country. Generally, most items made from paper and plastic can be recycled, so long as they don't contain food and are not covered in wax.\\nRecycling helps cut down on waste that fills up landfills.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compost\", \"描述\": \"Compost leftover food and organic material to help keep down waste even further. Some cities collect compost, but otherwise, you'll need to compost it yourself in your back yard.\\nItems you can compost include leftover food, extra pieces of ingredients (like the leaves from carrots), and unbleached paper.\\nCompost by collecting all of these items together in a large box outside. Turn the mixture every few weeks and add soil, until the whole thing looks like a single mixture. This can often take months.\\nWhen the compost is done, it can be sold or it can be used to provide nutrients to your own yard or garden.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pick up litter.\", \"描述\": \"If you see trash lying around don't just stare at it and walk past it. Try to make time once a month to go around your neighborhood and pick up all of the trash that you see. Just be sure to use a grabbing stick or gardening gloves, to prevent hurting yourself on something dangerous. \\nYou can also join citywide groups that go around the city and pick up litter in the most affected areas. Contact your city hall to locate a group for your city.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch where and how you wash your car.\", \"描述\": \"The soaps used for washing cars are very destructive to the environment (often contaminating your drinking water!), so start by washing your car less often and washing your car yourself. When you do wash your car, use environmentally friendly products.\\nAt a minimum, move your car onto the grass in order to wash it. This will help keep the chemicals out of your drinking water.\\nTry to go waterless and simply clean your car with a green window or all-purpose cleaner.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Buy local produce.\", \"描述\": \"Buy your food from local farmers and food producers as much as possible. This will minimize the environmental impact of having to transport the food a long way, it helps ensure that your food is safe and free of dangerous chemicals or pests, and it contributes to your local economy.\\nFood is often labeled with where it was produced. Look for products that are organic and as close to where you live as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Conserve water.\", \"描述\": \"There is likely to be a significant water crisis in our lifetime, so conserve as much clean water as you can. While our planet is covered in water, only so much of it is drinkable and we use a lot of that for unnecessary things, like watering grass and taking extra long showers.\\nIf you want to water your lawn, use gray water (which is the water left over from preparing food or taking a shower).\\nTake showers that last 10 minutes or less and wash your hair only every other day.\\nAvoid having things like swimming pools, which take lots of water out of the system and make it undrinkable.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Conserve energy.\", \"描述\": \"Currently, many of the methods used to create energy to power our homes and devices are also very destructive to the environment. Try to use clean energy, by setting up solar panels, and conserve the energy you do use. \\nTurn off lights in empty rooms.\\nSpend less time on the computer and more time reading books.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Use public transportation.\", \"描述\": \"Skip on driving a car and instead take a bus. Not only will you help save the planet from the ravages of pollution, you'll also be helping to financially support public transit, which is vital to low-income households (who often don't own cars).]\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Join your local library.\", \"描述\": \"It's free and you will be helping to maintain public services and supporting low-income households, who often can't afford books or the Internet.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,429 |
How to Be a Good Class President
|
1. Treating Everyone Nicely
1-1. Practice good manners.
Whether it is your best friend, your classmate, a teacher, a janitor, or any other school worker, everyone should be treated nicely. Because you are the class president, you have to set an example on how to interact with people so that everyone else will do the same.
Let others speak before you speak. Interrupting someone when they haven't finished their thought is extremely rude and shows disrespect to the other person. If it happens by accident, apologize for the incident and let them continue so they can finish what they were saying.
Stop what you're doing and acknowledge whoever addresses you right away. Don't keep people waiting to try to get your attention, address them quickly so they can see that you want to listen to what they have to say. If you wait too long to address them, they might think you don't have time to listen to them.
1-2. Be equally as nice to those that might not be as nice to you.
This might sound difficult to do because your instinct might be to be mean back. You are showing great maturity and setting an example to anyone that sees you interact in a positive manner even if you struggle to do it.Respond politely even if someone talks to you in a rude tone. Sometimes people have a bad day or might not be feeling well. Others many not know how to talk to people. As the saying goes, “Kill them with kindness” and be extra nice to them. That can help change their attitude in some situations.Treat everyone you talk to exactly how you want to be treated. That's something that everyone should be doing, but as a leader, this is important for you. Your classmates want to make sure you are listening to what they have to say, so pay attention. Even if what they are saying is not interesting to you, just smile and ask questions to stay engaged in the conversation.
1-3. Use positive body language to help you communicate better.
When interacting with your fellow classmates, positive body language can help you show that you care without having to verbally say it. There are several simple actions that you can do in different situations.
Make eye contact when speaking to others. Whether it is at the podium during a speech, or when you are having a conversation by the lockers, eye contact is important. It establishes a connection of understanding between people as well as emphasizes what is being said.
Smile genuinely when greeting others or when having a casual conversation. A smile sets a relaxed tone and will make people feel at ease around you.
Walk with purpose when getting from one place to another. Don't slouch and walk with your back straight. By doing this you are showing that you take your responsibilities as class president seriously and that you are ready to take on any challenge that arises.
1-4. Demonstrate small acts of kindness.
It is as important as being respectful. Showing kindness does not have to be anything extravagant. Even the smallest gesture of kindness makes a difference.
Greet people when you pass by them in the hallways. Saying 'Good Morning' or 'Good Afternoon' is a great way to establish a positive connection with people. Greetings can also really make a difference in people's days if they are not going too well.
Open the door for others when there are people walking behind you.This small gesture shows good manners and is very appreciated.
Help students carry their belongings if they have too much stuff on their hands. By doing this you are preventing any possible disaster of students tripping, papers falling everywhere, or projects breaking.
Show appreciation to cafeteria workers by saying 'thank you'. It is so easy to forget to do this when you're busy talking to your friends, but doing this is important so everyone else can say it as well.
1-5. Plan specific days to show gratitude.
School faculty, staff, and volunteers do a lot for students. Unfortunately, more often than not, their effort is not appreciated enough. Take the initiative to show appreciation through different activities where many students can get involved.
Get students to assist you in writing thank you letters to all faculty and staff. Writing thank you letters is a great way to involve a lot of your classmates and teachers will appreciate getting unique letters from different students.
Help organize a potluck for faculty and staff where the students brings all the food. A potluck can be a great bonding experience between teachers and students.
Pick a day to have sweets and treats delivered to teachers in their classrooms. Designating students to deliver sweets such as cookies or chocolate to teachers after a long day of lessons is sure to bring a smile to these hard working instructors.
1-6. Appreciate your parents too.
Everyone's parents do so much to get them to school prepared and ready to learn. There are several ways that you can help students show gratitude to their parents for everything they do for their children.
Set up a station during lunch time with arts and crafts for students to use in order to create unique letters to give to their parents when they get home. Doing this will help students get creative and will allow them to have fun while showing gratitude.
Suggest to the music department that creating a song specifically for saying thank you to your parents would be a good idea. The song could be showcased by the student choir, during a talent showcase, or individual students could learn it and sing it to their parents in the comfort of their home.
2. Getting to Know Your Classmates
2-1. Talk to all of your classmates at least once.
Depending on your school and class size, this could prove to be a difficult task. But meeting as many people that you are representing as class president is important! Spend your time wisely during the day so you can meet different people during different activities.
Start up a conversation with someone between classes. Even if you just stop by someone's locker to ask how their day is going, it will help students understand that you are a friendly person.
Sit with someone new each day during lunch time. Look around the cafeteria to see if anyone is sitting alone and join them for lunch. This is your chance to approach students that are loners and get to know what kind of issues they want you to deal with.
Partner up with different classmates for projects in class. It is easy to stick with your friend for projects, but pairing up with different people can be rewarding because you will get to know them better while working together.
2-2. Remember the names of the people you talk to.
Making sure you know your classmates on a name basis is essential of a good class president. Students will connect with you better if you honestly know who they are, and you don't just pretend to care.
Introduce yourself when you see classmates you have not met yet.
Ask for students' names and repeat it to them to make sure you're saying it right.
Acknowledge people you've already met on different occasions by addressing them by name.
Recall parts of past conversations so classmates can see you pay attention to them.
2-3. Put together fun events outside of school.
The effort that you put in getting to know your classmates in school is as important as getting to know them outside of school. It is easier for classmates to open up to you if you have fun with them away from the classroom.
Plan gatherings at the mall to shop together. There are so many stores and activities at a mall, so it is the perfect place to interact with your fellow classmates and learn more about them in a casual setting.
Get together to watch movies at the movie theatre as a large group.There won't be much talking done during the movie, but the discussion after will help everyone get familiar with each other. This will open up the way for more serious dialogue at school in the future.
Organize a day in the park with everyone to play outdoors. You can play different games or even enjoy a picnic together. The perfect setting for relaxed conversation.
3. Being the Voice of the People
3-1. Help defend students that are being bullied.
If you see a student getting bullied or hurt, help them out. As a leader, it is your responsibility to help defend students that cannot defend themselves. There are several ways to handle difficult situations between students.
Separate the students immediately and ask if everyone is ok. By calming everyone down and diffusing the situation, students will be able to relax and explain what exactly happened.
Ask a teacher or staff for assistance if the situation is too big to handle on your own. Sometimes having an adult present is the only way that students will behave, so asking for help should always come to mind in difficult situations.
Encourage students to report any injustices to you or to school officials. If someone tells you about a specific situation, let a school counselor know so they can approach the student professionally.
3-2. Plan activities to help end bullying.
Students should feel safe in school, and you can do a lot to make your school a better environment for everyone. You have to remember that this isn't a job just for you, but with school faculty as well.
Suggest to have hall monitors to supervise students between classes. Hall monitors can help make sure that everything is running smoothly while everyone is going to class. In case there is a problem, a hall monitor can address it or let an instructor know about the issue.
Help post anti-bullying posters around the school. By doing this, students will be aware of how they act and treat each other. Putting reminders for everyone will see can help reduce bullying.
Come up with workshops or seminars to help students speak up if they are being bullied.
3-3. Find out what issues students care about.
Knowing what kind of problems your classmates have at school is important, especially students that are shy or do not like to speak up. Many students do not want to openly admit they have problems. It is your job to try and identify these issues.
Let students know that you are available to talk with them whenever they need to.
Tell students your locker number so they can leave anonymous notes with the issues that bother them. You will still receive the messages you need to see, but students will be able to avoid the confrontation that they might not want to face.
Guide students who are actively voicing their issues to help others students voice their own problems as well.
4. Growing as a Leader
4-1. Make your classmates' ideas the priority.
You will have ideas of your own that you might want to see in action, but you have to take your classmates' ideas into equal consideration. Take the time to ask people what kind of issues they want you to work on and then try your best to address them.
Conduct periodic meetings where students can ask you questions or tell you what is important to them.
Actively seek out suggestions from both students that you interact with daily and others that you don't see often.
Come up with different ideas to address the issues that students want resolved.
Seek students' assistance to work with you in helping reach class goals together.
4-2. Be open to feedback about your leadership.
You won't be doing everything right as class president, and that is ok! But you need to seek constructive criticism so you can understand what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong. Doing this will help you develop into a stronger leader.
Ask teachers to evaluate your leading method to see if there is anything you need to change.
Hand out “comments” cards to students so they can let you know what area you need to improve on as their class leader.
Create a “pros and cons” with fellow classmates after school for your leadership style.
Pinpoint your strengths on your own and try to apply that to areas where you believe you need improvement.
4-3. Relieve stress easily with the help of others.
Not everything will be easy to handle as class president. Some days will be harder than others because things will not go as smooth. Understand that nobody is perfect and that trying your best is what matters the most.
Take an hour of your day for yourself without having to worry about anything related to your position as class president if there are several issues you are trying to handle.
Divide the responsibilities you have with the rest of the student council so that you do not have an excessive load of things to do.
Remember that you can ask for help at any point to make things easier. Your classmates, teachers, and parents are more than willing to assist you in organizing workshops, planning school dances, running fundraisers, or completing any other activity for the benefit of your class.
Tips
Asking former class presidents for advice about leading can help you be a stronger leader.
Communicating with your classmates constantly will show them that you care about what they think.
Having a positive demeanor will allow students to start up a conversation with you easily.
Warnings
There will be some situations that you have no control over, just do your best.
Not everyone is going to like you as class president, so be prepared.
Don't let being class president get to your head, stay humble!
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Treating Everyone Nicely\\n1-1. Practice good manners.\\nWhether it is your best friend, your classmate, a teacher, a janitor, or any other school worker, everyone should be treated nicely. Because you are the class president, you have to set an example on how to interact with people so that everyone else will do the same.\\nLet others speak before you speak. Interrupting someone when they haven't finished their thought is extremely rude and shows disrespect to the other person. If it happens by accident, apologize for the incident and let them continue so they can finish what they were saying.\\nStop what you're doing and acknowledge whoever addresses you right away. Don't keep people waiting to try to get your attention, address them quickly so they can see that you want to listen to what they have to say. If you wait too long to address them, they might think you don't have time to listen to them.\\n1-2. Be equally as nice to those that might not be as nice to you.\\nThis might sound difficult to do because your instinct might be to be mean back. You are showing great maturity and setting an example to anyone that sees you interact in a positive manner even if you struggle to do it.Respond politely even if someone talks to you in a rude tone. Sometimes people have a bad day or might not be feeling well. Others many not know how to talk to people. As the saying goes, “Kill them with kindness” and be extra nice to them. That can help change their attitude in some situations.Treat everyone you talk to exactly how you want to be treated. That's something that everyone should be doing, but as a leader, this is important for you. Your classmates want to make sure you are listening to what they have to say, so pay attention. Even if what they are saying is not interesting to you, just smile and ask questions to stay engaged in the conversation.\\n1-3. Use positive body language to help you communicate better.\\nWhen interacting with your fellow classmates, positive body language can help you show that you care without having to verbally say it. There are several simple actions that you can do in different situations.\\nMake eye contact when speaking to others. Whether it is at the podium during a speech, or when you are having a conversation by the lockers, eye contact is important. It establishes a connection of understanding between people as well as emphasizes what is being said.\\nSmile genuinely when greeting others or when having a casual conversation. A smile sets a relaxed tone and will make people feel at ease around you.\\nWalk with purpose when getting from one place to another. Don't slouch and walk with your back straight. By doing this you are showing that you take your responsibilities as class president seriously and that you are ready to take on any challenge that arises.\\n1-4. Demonstrate small acts of kindness.\\nIt is as important as being respectful. Showing kindness does not have to be anything extravagant. Even the smallest gesture of kindness makes a difference.\\nGreet people when you pass by them in the hallways. Saying 'Good Morning' or 'Good Afternoon' is a great way to establish a positive connection with people. Greetings can also really make a difference in people's days if they are not going too well.\\nOpen the door for others when there are people walking behind you.This small gesture shows good manners and is very appreciated.\\nHelp students carry their belongings if they have too much stuff on their hands. By doing this you are preventing any possible disaster of students tripping, papers falling everywhere, or projects breaking.\\nShow appreciation to cafeteria workers by saying 'thank you'. It is so easy to forget to do this when you're busy talking to your friends, but doing this is important so everyone else can say it as well.\\n1-5. Plan specific days to show gratitude.\\nSchool faculty, staff, and volunteers do a lot for students. Unfortunately, more often than not, their effort is not appreciated enough. Take the initiative to show appreciation through different activities where many students can get involved.\\nGet students to assist you in writing thank you letters to all faculty and staff. Writing thank you letters is a great way to involve a lot of your classmates and teachers will appreciate getting unique letters from different students.\\nHelp organize a potluck for faculty and staff where the students brings all the food. A potluck can be a great bonding experience between teachers and students.\\nPick a day to have sweets and treats delivered to teachers in their classrooms. Designating students to deliver sweets such as cookies or chocolate to teachers after a long day of lessons is sure to bring a smile to these hard working instructors.\\n1-6. Appreciate your parents too.\\nEveryone's parents do so much to get them to school prepared and ready to learn. There are several ways that you can help students show gratitude to their parents for everything they do for their children.\\nSet up a station during lunch time with arts and crafts for students to use in order to create unique letters to give to their parents when they get home. Doing this will help students get creative and will allow them to have fun while showing gratitude.\\nSuggest to the music department that creating a song specifically for saying thank you to your parents would be a good idea. The song could be showcased by the student choir, during a talent showcase, or individual students could learn it and sing it to their parents in the comfort of their home.\\n2. Getting to Know Your Classmates\\n2-1. Talk to all of your classmates at least once.\\nDepending on your school and class size, this could prove to be a difficult task. But meeting as many people that you are representing as class president is important! Spend your time wisely during the day so you can meet different people during different activities.\\nStart up a conversation with someone between classes. Even if you just stop by someone's locker to ask how their day is going, it will help students understand that you are a friendly person.\\nSit with someone new each day during lunch time. Look around the cafeteria to see if anyone is sitting alone and join them for lunch. This is your chance to approach students that are loners and get to know what kind of issues they want you to deal with.\\nPartner up with different classmates for projects in class. It is easy to stick with your friend for projects, but pairing up with different people can be rewarding because you will get to know them better while working together.\\n2-2. Remember the names of the people you talk to.\\nMaking sure you know your classmates on a name basis is essential of a good class president. Students will connect with you better if you honestly know who they are, and you don't just pretend to care.\\nIntroduce yourself when you see classmates you have not met yet.\\nAsk for students' names and repeat it to them to make sure you're saying it right.\\nAcknowledge people you've already met on different occasions by addressing them by name.\\nRecall parts of past conversations so classmates can see you pay attention to them.\\n2-3. Put together fun events outside of school.\\nThe effort that you put in getting to know your classmates in school is as important as getting to know them outside of school. It is easier for classmates to open up to you if you have fun with them away from the classroom.\\nPlan gatherings at the mall to shop together. There are so many stores and activities at a mall, so it is the perfect place to interact with your fellow classmates and learn more about them in a casual setting.\\nGet together to watch movies at the movie theatre as a large group.There won't be much talking done during the movie, but the discussion after will help everyone get familiar with each other. This will open up the way for more serious dialogue at school in the future.\\nOrganize a day in the park with everyone to play outdoors. You can play different games or even enjoy a picnic together. The perfect setting for relaxed conversation.\\n3. Being the Voice of the People\\n3-1. Help defend students that are being bullied.\\nIf you see a student getting bullied or hurt, help them out. As a leader, it is your responsibility to help defend students that cannot defend themselves. There are several ways to handle difficult situations between students.\\nSeparate the students immediately and ask if everyone is ok. By calming everyone down and diffusing the situation, students will be able to relax and explain what exactly happened.\\nAsk a teacher or staff for assistance if the situation is too big to handle on your own. Sometimes having an adult present is the only way that students will behave, so asking for help should always come to mind in difficult situations.\\nEncourage students to report any injustices to you or to school officials. If someone tells you about a specific situation, let a school counselor know so they can approach the student professionally.\\n3-2. Plan activities to help end bullying.\\nStudents should feel safe in school, and you can do a lot to make your school a better environment for everyone. You have to remember that this isn't a job just for you, but with school faculty as well. \\nSuggest to have hall monitors to supervise students between classes. Hall monitors can help make sure that everything is running smoothly while everyone is going to class. In case there is a problem, a hall monitor can address it or let an instructor know about the issue.\\nHelp post anti-bullying posters around the school. By doing this, students will be aware of how they act and treat each other. Putting reminders for everyone will see can help reduce bullying.\\nCome up with workshops or seminars to help students speak up if they are being bullied.\\n3-3. Find out what issues students care about.\\nKnowing what kind of problems your classmates have at school is important, especially students that are shy or do not like to speak up. Many students do not want to openly admit they have problems. It is your job to try and identify these issues.\\nLet students know that you are available to talk with them whenever they need to.\\nTell students your locker number so they can leave anonymous notes with the issues that bother them. You will still receive the messages you need to see, but students will be able to avoid the confrontation that they might not want to face.\\nGuide students who are actively voicing their issues to help others students voice their own problems as well.\\n4. Growing as a Leader\\n4-1. Make your classmates' ideas the priority.\\nYou will have ideas of your own that you might want to see in action, but you have to take your classmates' ideas into equal consideration. Take the time to ask people what kind of issues they want you to work on and then try your best to address them.\\nConduct periodic meetings where students can ask you questions or tell you what is important to them.\\nActively seek out suggestions from both students that you interact with daily and others that you don't see often.\\nCome up with different ideas to address the issues that students want resolved.\\nSeek students' assistance to work with you in helping reach class goals together.\\n4-2. Be open to feedback about your leadership.\\nYou won't be doing everything right as class president, and that is ok! But you need to seek constructive criticism so you can understand what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong. Doing this will help you develop into a stronger leader. \\nAsk teachers to evaluate your leading method to see if there is anything you need to change.\\nHand out “comments” cards to students so they can let you know what area you need to improve on as their class leader.\\nCreate a “pros and cons” with fellow classmates after school for your leadership style.\\nPinpoint your strengths on your own and try to apply that to areas where you believe you need improvement.\\n4-3. Relieve stress easily with the help of others.\\nNot everything will be easy to handle as class president. Some days will be harder than others because things will not go as smooth. Understand that nobody is perfect and that trying your best is what matters the most.\\nTake an hour of your day for yourself without having to worry about anything related to your position as class president if there are several issues you are trying to handle.\\nDivide the responsibilities you have with the rest of the student council so that you do not have an excessive load of things to do.\\nRemember that you can ask for help at any point to make things easier. Your classmates, teachers, and parents are more than willing to assist you in organizing workshops, planning school dances, running fundraisers, or completing any other activity for the benefit of your class.\\nTips\\nAsking former class presidents for advice about leading can help you be a stronger leader.\\nCommunicating with your classmates constantly will show them that you care about what they think.\\nHaving a positive demeanor will allow students to start up a conversation with you easily.\\nWarnings\\nThere will be some situations that you have no control over, just do your best.\\nNot everyone is going to like you as class president, so be prepared.\\nDon't let being class president get to your head, stay humble!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Congratulations on winning the Class President position! Now you may be wondering, 'what do I do next?' The answer is simple: start the process of striving to be the best class president your fellow classmates have ever witnessed. A good class president embodies characteristics such as kindness, initiative, leadership, and camaraderie. Developing these characteristics and wanting school to be fun for everyone will set you apart from any other class president.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Treating Everyone Nicely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice good manners.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it is your best friend, your classmate, a teacher, a janitor, or any other school worker, everyone should be treated nicely. Because you are the class president, you have to set an example on how to interact with people so that everyone else will do the same.\\nLet others speak before you speak. Interrupting someone when they haven't finished their thought is extremely rude and shows disrespect to the other person. If it happens by accident, apologize for the incident and let them continue so they can finish what they were saying.\\nStop what you're doing and acknowledge whoever addresses you right away. Don't keep people waiting to try to get your attention, address them quickly so they can see that you want to listen to what they have to say. If you wait too long to address them, they might think you don't have time to listen to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be equally as nice to those that might not be as nice to you.\", \"描述\": \"This might sound difficult to do because your instinct might be to be mean back. You are showing great maturity and setting an example to anyone that sees you interact in a positive manner even if you struggle to do it.Respond politely even if someone talks to you in a rude tone. Sometimes people have a bad day or might not be feeling well. Others many not know how to talk to people. As the saying goes, “Kill them with kindness” and be extra nice to them. That can help change their attitude in some situations.Treat everyone you talk to exactly how you want to be treated. That's something that everyone should be doing, but as a leader, this is important for you. Your classmates want to make sure you are listening to what they have to say, so pay attention. Even if what they are saying is not interesting to you, just smile and ask questions to stay engaged in the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use positive body language to help you communicate better.\", \"描述\": \"When interacting with your fellow classmates, positive body language can help you show that you care without having to verbally say it. There are several simple actions that you can do in different situations.\\nMake eye contact when speaking to others. Whether it is at the podium during a speech, or when you are having a conversation by the lockers, eye contact is important. It establishes a connection of understanding between people as well as emphasizes what is being said.\\nSmile genuinely when greeting others or when having a casual conversation. A smile sets a relaxed tone and will make people feel at ease around you.\\nWalk with purpose when getting from one place to another. Don't slouch and walk with your back straight. By doing this you are showing that you take your responsibilities as class president seriously and that you are ready to take on any challenge that arises.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate small acts of kindness.\", \"描述\": \"It is as important as being respectful. Showing kindness does not have to be anything extravagant. Even the smallest gesture of kindness makes a difference.\\nGreet people when you pass by them in the hallways. Saying 'Good Morning' or 'Good Afternoon' is a great way to establish a positive connection with people. Greetings can also really make a difference in people's days if they are not going too well.\\nOpen the door for others when there are people walking behind you.This small gesture shows good manners and is very appreciated.\\nHelp students carry their belongings if they have too much stuff on their hands. By doing this you are preventing any possible disaster of students tripping, papers falling everywhere, or projects breaking.\\nShow appreciation to cafeteria workers by saying 'thank you'. It is so easy to forget to do this when you're busy talking to your friends, but doing this is important so everyone else can say it as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Plan specific days to show gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"School faculty, staff, and volunteers do a lot for students. Unfortunately, more often than not, their effort is not appreciated enough. Take the initiative to show appreciation through different activities where many students can get involved.\\nGet students to assist you in writing thank you letters to all faculty and staff. Writing thank you letters is a great way to involve a lot of your classmates and teachers will appreciate getting unique letters from different students.\\nHelp organize a potluck for faculty and staff where the students brings all the food. A potluck can be a great bonding experience between teachers and students.\\nPick a day to have sweets and treats delivered to teachers in their classrooms. Designating students to deliver sweets such as cookies or chocolate to teachers after a long day of lessons is sure to bring a smile to these hard working instructors.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Appreciate your parents too.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone's parents do so much to get them to school prepared and ready to learn. There are several ways that you can help students show gratitude to their parents for everything they do for their children.\\nSet up a station during lunch time with arts and crafts for students to use in order to create unique letters to give to their parents when they get home. Doing this will help students get creative and will allow them to have fun while showing gratitude.\\nSuggest to the music department that creating a song specifically for saying thank you to your parents would be a good idea. The song could be showcased by the student choir, during a talent showcase, or individual students could learn it and sing it to their parents in the comfort of their home.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Your Classmates\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to all of your classmates at least once.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on your school and class size, this could prove to be a difficult task. But meeting as many people that you are representing as class president is important! Spend your time wisely during the day so you can meet different people during different activities.\\nStart up a conversation with someone between classes. Even if you just stop by someone's locker to ask how their day is going, it will help students understand that you are a friendly person.\\nSit with someone new each day during lunch time. Look around the cafeteria to see if anyone is sitting alone and join them for lunch. This is your chance to approach students that are loners and get to know what kind of issues they want you to deal with.\\nPartner up with different classmates for projects in class. It is easy to stick with your friend for projects, but pairing up with different people can be rewarding because you will get to know them better while working together.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember the names of the people you talk to.\", \"描述\": \"Making sure you know your classmates on a name basis is essential of a good class president. Students will connect with you better if you honestly know who they are, and you don't just pretend to care.\\nIntroduce yourself when you see classmates you have not met yet.\\nAsk for students' names and repeat it to them to make sure you're saying it right.\\nAcknowledge people you've already met on different occasions by addressing them by name.\\nRecall parts of past conversations so classmates can see you pay attention to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Put together fun events outside of school.\", \"描述\": \"The effort that you put in getting to know your classmates in school is as important as getting to know them outside of school. It is easier for classmates to open up to you if you have fun with them away from the classroom.\\nPlan gatherings at the mall to shop together. There are so many stores and activities at a mall, so it is the perfect place to interact with your fellow classmates and learn more about them in a casual setting.\\nGet together to watch movies at the movie theatre as a large group.There won't be much talking done during the movie, but the discussion after will help everyone get familiar with each other. This will open up the way for more serious dialogue at school in the future.\\nOrganize a day in the park with everyone to play outdoors. You can play different games or even enjoy a picnic together. The perfect setting for relaxed conversation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being the Voice of the People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Help defend students that are being bullied.\", \"描述\": \"If you see a student getting bullied or hurt, help them out. As a leader, it is your responsibility to help defend students that cannot defend themselves. There are several ways to handle difficult situations between students.\\nSeparate the students immediately and ask if everyone is ok. By calming everyone down and diffusing the situation, students will be able to relax and explain what exactly happened.\\nAsk a teacher or staff for assistance if the situation is too big to handle on your own. Sometimes having an adult present is the only way that students will behave, so asking for help should always come to mind in difficult situations.\\nEncourage students to report any injustices to you or to school officials. If someone tells you about a specific situation, let a school counselor know so they can approach the student professionally.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan activities to help end bullying.\", \"描述\": \"Students should feel safe in school, and you can do a lot to make your school a better environment for everyone. You have to remember that this isn't a job just for you, but with school faculty as well. \\nSuggest to have hall monitors to supervise students between classes. Hall monitors can help make sure that everything is running smoothly while everyone is going to class. In case there is a problem, a hall monitor can address it or let an instructor know about the issue.\\nHelp post anti-bullying posters around the school. By doing this, students will be aware of how they act and treat each other. Putting reminders for everyone will see can help reduce bullying.\\nCome up with workshops or seminars to help students speak up if they are being bullied.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find out what issues students care about.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing what kind of problems your classmates have at school is important, especially students that are shy or do not like to speak up. Many students do not want to openly admit they have problems. It is your job to try and identify these issues.\\nLet students know that you are available to talk with them whenever they need to.\\nTell students your locker number so they can leave anonymous notes with the issues that bother them. You will still receive the messages you need to see, but students will be able to avoid the confrontation that they might not want to face.\\nGuide students who are actively voicing their issues to help others students voice their own problems as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Growing as a Leader\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make your classmates' ideas the priority.\", \"描述\": \"You will have ideas of your own that you might want to see in action, but you have to take your classmates' ideas into equal consideration. Take the time to ask people what kind of issues they want you to work on and then try your best to address them.\\nConduct periodic meetings where students can ask you questions or tell you what is important to them.\\nActively seek out suggestions from both students that you interact with daily and others that you don't see often.\\nCome up with different ideas to address the issues that students want resolved.\\nSeek students' assistance to work with you in helping reach class goals together.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be open to feedback about your leadership.\", \"描述\": \"You won't be doing everything right as class president, and that is ok! But you need to seek constructive criticism so you can understand what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong. Doing this will help you develop into a stronger leader. \\nAsk teachers to evaluate your leading method to see if there is anything you need to change.\\nHand out “comments” cards to students so they can let you know what area you need to improve on as their class leader.\\nCreate a “pros and cons” with fellow classmates after school for your leadership style.\\nPinpoint your strengths on your own and try to apply that to areas where you believe you need improvement.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Relieve stress easily with the help of others.\", \"描述\": \"Not everything will be easy to handle as class president. Some days will be harder than others because things will not go as smooth. Understand that nobody is perfect and that trying your best is what matters the most.\\nTake an hour of your day for yourself without having to worry about anything related to your position as class president if there are several issues you are trying to handle.\\nDivide the responsibilities you have with the rest of the student council so that you do not have an excessive load of things to do.\\nRemember that you can ask for help at any point to make things easier. Your classmates, teachers, and parents are more than willing to assist you in organizing workshops, planning school dances, running fundraisers, or completing any other activity for the benefit of your class.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Asking former class presidents for advice about leading can help you be a stronger leader.\\n\", \"Communicating with your classmates constantly will show them that you care about what they think.\\n\", \"Having a positive demeanor will allow students to start up a conversation with you easily.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"There will be some situations that you have no control over, just do your best.\\n\", \"Not everyone is going to like you as class president, so be prepared.\\n\", \"Don't let being class president get to your head, stay humble!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,430 |
How to Be a Good Club President
|
1. Becoming a Good Club President
1-1. Be a confident leader.
You must be comfortable standing and speaking in front of your fellow club members. It's natural to be nervous when you first become the club's president, but you want the club members to respect your authority.
You must be comfortable giving orders and setting a schedule. If there are discrepancies of opinion, it is up to you to make the final decision.
You also need to have the confidence to hold your club members accountable to the rules of the club and to deadlines like fee payments.
1-2. Listen to your club members.
As much as you need have the respect of your club members, you also need to actively listen to their ideas and concerns.
When someone comes to talk to you about an issue, take them seriously. If you don't have time to address it right then, let them know. Tell them you'd rather talk about it later when you have more time because you really value what they have to say.
The positive interaction of all your club members will create a successful club.
Create a democratic decision-making process, rather than overriding opinions of others.
1-3. Keep your meetings fun.
No matter what type of club you are leading, you want to make sure that your members enjoy coming and bring friends.
Change up the style of the meeting and the meeting spot.
Take time to do purely fun activities with your club members like having a movie or game night or volunteering together.. This will help create friendships within the club.
Bring snacks to meetings and take time to play games. Kicking off meetings with an ice breaker can be a good idea.
2. Leading a Successful Club
2-1. State your club's purpose.
In order for your club to run smoothly and achieve its goals, the objectives must be clear to you and to all your club members. Define a mission statement for your club, or write out the mission statement that already exists.
This mission statement should be short and simple.
Post it somewhere in your meeting area, and remind members of the statement at each meeting.
This will help you club stay defined and improve, no matter what type of club it is.
Also, this will give potential new members an accurate idea of what your club is.
If you are starting a new school club, find out how this process has to be organized at your school. Many clubs require a teacher/staff member advisor and signatures of students who would be interested in joining.
2-2. Seek funding.
Clubs need money for activities, trips and meeting expenses. If you are associated with a university or school, you may be able to appeal to the school for funding if you meet the criteria for becoming a club.
If you're not associated with a school, you may want to consider making your club a non-profit. You should only consider this if your club is raising tens of thousands of dollars per year as this will require significant paper work and cost money. But long-term it can help with avoiding any taxes down the road on income the club generates.
Consider fundraising. Activities like a car wash, selling products, or simply starting a donation page can help raise money for your club.
You can also charge membership dues and fees that are used to fund the club.
2-3. Define membership criteria.
Outline the basic requirements for someone to become a member. Keep these as simple as possible. For example, you may want age requirements if your club is more adult in nature.
You may also make ongoing criteria that are necessary to remain a member of the club, such as regular meeting attendance and participation in events or a certain GPA if you are associate with a school.
This will also ensure that you have an active club.
2-4. Recruit members.
As you're leading your club, you want to make sure the club is constantly active in building participants, rather than just waiting for new members to find you.
You'll need marketing. You may want a member of the club devoted to this, but as president this will also be your responsibility to make sure the club is growing.
Create a website. This allows potential members to read about your club and contact you with interest.
Hold open-house events. Advertise events for potential members to come and see what your club is all about. This is a great way to vet potential members and also showcase what your club can do for them.
Ask current members to recruit. They are likely to have circles of friends with similar interests.
3. Keeping Your Club Organized
3-1. Delegate club-related tasks.
Part of being a good leader is knowing that you can't run your club alone. Your fellow officers and members are there to help and it is important for you to tell them what you need and expect out of them.
Listen to their ideas, and let people volunteer for tasks they are interested in.
Delegating tasks and responsibilities will keep members engaged and invested in the club.
You'll need a treasurer, a secretary, a schedule manager, and a membership manager.
3-2. Plan
Have regular meeting dates and times, and tell members well in advance if a meeting will be cancelled.
Before each meeting, plan what you will talk about. You should create a meeting agenda, where you outline what is going to be discussed in the meeting and who is going to be speaking on the topic. If you want other officers to speak at a meeting, make sure you discuss it with them before the meeting.
3-3. Run the meetings with efficiency.
Having a structure for your meetings will make your club more productive. You should begin every meeting with a call to order. You may say, "I call this meeting to order", or "This meeting is now in session."
You should then have someone delegated to take meeting minutes, or notes on the meeting. This could be you or someone delegated to be the minute-taker.
You should review the meeting minutes from the last meeting at the beginning of the meeting and revisit any issues or concerns that were not addressed in the previous meeting.
You should then discuss each item on the meeting agenda. Allow for discussion and debate between club members but try to reach a consensus on each issue and move efficiently through each item. At the end of the meeting, you should have an official "end". You may say, "I now end this meeting" or "This meeting is now over."
3-4. Stay active on social media.
Make a Facebook page that provides a forum for members to interact and also to recruit new members. You can also create other club social media like Instagram or Twitter.
Social media is a quick way to send information or invitations to events.
Send out e-newsletters with club content, meeting notes, and upcoming events.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Becoming a Good Club President\\n1-1. Be a confident leader.\\nYou must be comfortable standing and speaking in front of your fellow club members. It's natural to be nervous when you first become the club's president, but you want the club members to respect your authority. \\nYou must be comfortable giving orders and setting a schedule. If there are discrepancies of opinion, it is up to you to make the final decision.\\nYou also need to have the confidence to hold your club members accountable to the rules of the club and to deadlines like fee payments.\\n1-2. Listen to your club members.\\nAs much as you need have the respect of your club members, you also need to actively listen to their ideas and concerns.\\nWhen someone comes to talk to you about an issue, take them seriously. If you don't have time to address it right then, let them know. Tell them you'd rather talk about it later when you have more time because you really value what they have to say.\\nThe positive interaction of all your club members will create a successful club.\\nCreate a democratic decision-making process, rather than overriding opinions of others.\\n1-3. Keep your meetings fun.\\nNo matter what type of club you are leading, you want to make sure that your members enjoy coming and bring friends.\\nChange up the style of the meeting and the meeting spot.\\nTake time to do purely fun activities with your club members like having a movie or game night or volunteering together.. This will help create friendships within the club.\\nBring snacks to meetings and take time to play games. Kicking off meetings with an ice breaker can be a good idea.\\n2. Leading a Successful Club\\n2-1. State your club's purpose.\\nIn order for your club to run smoothly and achieve its goals, the objectives must be clear to you and to all your club members. Define a mission statement for your club, or write out the mission statement that already exists.\\nThis mission statement should be short and simple.\\nPost it somewhere in your meeting area, and remind members of the statement at each meeting.\\nThis will help you club stay defined and improve, no matter what type of club it is.\\nAlso, this will give potential new members an accurate idea of what your club is.\\nIf you are starting a new school club, find out how this process has to be organized at your school. Many clubs require a teacher/staff member advisor and signatures of students who would be interested in joining.\\n2-2. Seek funding.\\nClubs need money for activities, trips and meeting expenses. If you are associated with a university or school, you may be able to appeal to the school for funding if you meet the criteria for becoming a club. \\nIf you're not associated with a school, you may want to consider making your club a non-profit. You should only consider this if your club is raising tens of thousands of dollars per year as this will require significant paper work and cost money. But long-term it can help with avoiding any taxes down the road on income the club generates.\\nConsider fundraising. Activities like a car wash, selling products, or simply starting a donation page can help raise money for your club.\\nYou can also charge membership dues and fees that are used to fund the club.\\n2-3. Define membership criteria.\\nOutline the basic requirements for someone to become a member. Keep these as simple as possible. For example, you may want age requirements if your club is more adult in nature.\\nYou may also make ongoing criteria that are necessary to remain a member of the club, such as regular meeting attendance and participation in events or a certain GPA if you are associate with a school.\\nThis will also ensure that you have an active club.\\n2-4. Recruit members.\\nAs you're leading your club, you want to make sure the club is constantly active in building participants, rather than just waiting for new members to find you.\\nYou'll need marketing. You may want a member of the club devoted to this, but as president this will also be your responsibility to make sure the club is growing.\\nCreate a website. This allows potential members to read about your club and contact you with interest.\\nHold open-house events. Advertise events for potential members to come and see what your club is all about. This is a great way to vet potential members and also showcase what your club can do for them.\\nAsk current members to recruit. They are likely to have circles of friends with similar interests.\\n3. Keeping Your Club Organized\\n3-1. Delegate club-related tasks.\\nPart of being a good leader is knowing that you can't run your club alone. Your fellow officers and members are there to help and it is important for you to tell them what you need and expect out of them.\\nListen to their ideas, and let people volunteer for tasks they are interested in.\\nDelegating tasks and responsibilities will keep members engaged and invested in the club.\\nYou'll need a treasurer, a secretary, a schedule manager, and a membership manager.\\n3-2. Plan\\nHave regular meeting dates and times, and tell members well in advance if a meeting will be cancelled.\\nBefore each meeting, plan what you will talk about. You should create a meeting agenda, where you outline what is going to be discussed in the meeting and who is going to be speaking on the topic. If you want other officers to speak at a meeting, make sure you discuss it with them before the meeting.\\n3-3. Run the meetings with efficiency.\\nHaving a structure for your meetings will make your club more productive. You should begin every meeting with a call to order. You may say, \\\"I call this meeting to order\\\", or \\\"This meeting is now in session.\\\" \\nYou should then have someone delegated to take meeting minutes, or notes on the meeting. This could be you or someone delegated to be the minute-taker.\\nYou should review the meeting minutes from the last meeting at the beginning of the meeting and revisit any issues or concerns that were not addressed in the previous meeting.\\nYou should then discuss each item on the meeting agenda. Allow for discussion and debate between club members but try to reach a consensus on each issue and move efficiently through each item. At the end of the meeting, you should have an official \\\"end\\\". You may say, \\\"I now end this meeting\\\" or \\\"This meeting is now over.\\\"\\n3-4. Stay active on social media.\\nMake a Facebook page that provides a forum for members to interact and also to recruit new members. You can also create other club social media like Instagram or Twitter.\\nSocial media is a quick way to send information or invitations to events.\\nSend out e-newsletters with club content, meeting notes, and upcoming events.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Club presidents facilitate club functions, and create an environment that is fair and a fun experience for all members involved. Club leaders must work hard, present innovative ideas, lead others kindly, and possess organizational skills. As the president, you are responsible for the club and its actions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Becoming a Good Club President\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a confident leader.\", \"描述\": \"You must be comfortable standing and speaking in front of your fellow club members. It's natural to be nervous when you first become the club's president, but you want the club members to respect your authority. \\nYou must be comfortable giving orders and setting a schedule. If there are discrepancies of opinion, it is up to you to make the final decision.\\nYou also need to have the confidence to hold your club members accountable to the rules of the club and to deadlines like fee payments.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen to your club members.\", \"描述\": \"As much as you need have the respect of your club members, you also need to actively listen to their ideas and concerns.\\nWhen someone comes to talk to you about an issue, take them seriously. If you don't have time to address it right then, let them know. Tell them you'd rather talk about it later when you have more time because you really value what they have to say.\\nThe positive interaction of all your club members will create a successful club.\\nCreate a democratic decision-making process, rather than overriding opinions of others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your meetings fun.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what type of club you are leading, you want to make sure that your members enjoy coming and bring friends.\\nChange up the style of the meeting and the meeting spot.\\nTake time to do purely fun activities with your club members like having a movie or game night or volunteering together.. This will help create friendships within the club.\\nBring snacks to meetings and take time to play games. Kicking off meetings with an ice breaker can be a good idea.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Leading a Successful Club\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"State your club's purpose.\", \"描述\": \"In order for your club to run smoothly and achieve its goals, the objectives must be clear to you and to all your club members. Define a mission statement for your club, or write out the mission statement that already exists.\\nThis mission statement should be short and simple.\\nPost it somewhere in your meeting area, and remind members of the statement at each meeting.\\nThis will help you club stay defined and improve, no matter what type of club it is.\\nAlso, this will give potential new members an accurate idea of what your club is.\\nIf you are starting a new school club, find out how this process has to be organized at your school. Many clubs require a teacher/staff member advisor and signatures of students who would be interested in joining.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Seek funding.\", \"描述\": \"Clubs need money for activities, trips and meeting expenses. If you are associated with a university or school, you may be able to appeal to the school for funding if you meet the criteria for becoming a club. \\nIf you're not associated with a school, you may want to consider making your club a non-profit. You should only consider this if your club is raising tens of thousands of dollars per year as this will require significant paper work and cost money. But long-term it can help with avoiding any taxes down the road on income the club generates.\\nConsider fundraising. Activities like a car wash, selling products, or simply starting a donation page can help raise money for your club.\\nYou can also charge membership dues and fees that are used to fund the club.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Define membership criteria.\", \"描述\": \"Outline the basic requirements for someone to become a member. Keep these as simple as possible. For example, you may want age requirements if your club is more adult in nature.\\nYou may also make ongoing criteria that are necessary to remain a member of the club, such as regular meeting attendance and participation in events or a certain GPA if you are associate with a school.\\nThis will also ensure that you have an active club.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Recruit members.\", \"描述\": \"As you're leading your club, you want to make sure the club is constantly active in building participants, rather than just waiting for new members to find you.\\nYou'll need marketing. You may want a member of the club devoted to this, but as president this will also be your responsibility to make sure the club is growing.\\nCreate a website. This allows potential members to read about your club and contact you with interest.\\nHold open-house events. Advertise events for potential members to come and see what your club is all about. This is a great way to vet potential members and also showcase what your club can do for them.\\nAsk current members to recruit. They are likely to have circles of friends with similar interests.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Club Organized\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Delegate club-related tasks.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being a good leader is knowing that you can't run your club alone. Your fellow officers and members are there to help and it is important for you to tell them what you need and expect out of them.\\nListen to their ideas, and let people volunteer for tasks they are interested in.\\nDelegating tasks and responsibilities will keep members engaged and invested in the club.\\nYou'll need a treasurer, a secretary, a schedule manager, and a membership manager.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan\", \"描述\": \"Have regular meeting dates and times, and tell members well in advance if a meeting will be cancelled.\\nBefore each meeting, plan what you will talk about. You should create a meeting agenda, where you outline what is going to be discussed in the meeting and who is going to be speaking on the topic. If you want other officers to speak at a meeting, make sure you discuss it with them before the meeting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Run the meetings with efficiency.\", \"描述\": \"Having a structure for your meetings will make your club more productive. You should begin every meeting with a call to order. You may say, \\\"I call this meeting to order\\\", or \\\"This meeting is now in session.\\\" \\nYou should then have someone delegated to take meeting minutes, or notes on the meeting. This could be you or someone delegated to be the minute-taker.\\nYou should review the meeting minutes from the last meeting at the beginning of the meeting and revisit any issues or concerns that were not addressed in the previous meeting.\\nYou should then discuss each item on the meeting agenda. Allow for discussion and debate between club members but try to reach a consensus on each issue and move efficiently through each item. At the end of the meeting, you should have an official \\\"end\\\". You may say, \\\"I now end this meeting\\\" or \\\"This meeting is now over.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay active on social media.\", \"描述\": \"Make a Facebook page that provides a forum for members to interact and also to recruit new members. You can also create other club social media like Instagram or Twitter.\\nSocial media is a quick way to send information or invitations to events.\\nSend out e-newsletters with club content, meeting notes, and upcoming events.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,431 |
How to Be a Good College Student
|
1. Pick a major that reflects your passions.
It's much harder to succeed at something you don't care about.
Visit your academic counselor or advisor to learn about each major and explore the different career opportunities you can expect after graduation.Picking a major should be about what you love—not money or your parents' expectations. As an adult, it's your job to make these important decisions yourself.
Once you pick a major, choose classes that will give you knowledge and experience you can use in your career path.
If you're interested in more disciplines beyond your major, you can always try them through extracurricular activities and elective classes. Explore the many opportunities you have right at your fingertips!
2. Set goals and pursue them.
Make a list of goals
Everyone gets stressed or discouraged sometimes, but that doesn't mean you should let yourself despair. Keep going! You came to college with goals for your life, and you can fulfill them. Think about why you're here and what you want from the experience. Write it down and keep the paper somewhere you can look and feel encouraged.
Not everyone goes to college for the same reason. Be honest about your goal: you could be trying to earn a higher degree, get a job in a particular industry, master a skill, achieve independence, or something else.
If you're worried about losing track of your goals, share them with your college support system. Your friends can remind you about your goals in moments of need.
3. Create a weekly schedule.
Use a schedule to manage your classes, homework, and activities.
If you're in college full-time, you'll have 4 or 5 courses each semester. You may also have other responsibilities, like work, volunteering, and athletics. Use a planner to record important events and due dates, and set notifications as needed. Planning ahead makes all your work feel less stressful!
Write everything in your planner as soon as you know about it, so you won't forget later.
Try an electronic planner like Google Calendars. You can create notifications and color coordinate by category (athletics, homework, social events, and more).
Organize all your papers and books to keep up with your busy schedule. Sort everything by class; keep a neat binder or folder for each, and put assignments into their appropriate spot, so you don't lose them.
4. Make a plan that plays to your strengths.
Knowing your work habits and learning style makes schoolwork easier.
Ask yourself: do you enjoy working in the morning or at night? Can you complete a project in one sitting, or do you work best in increments? Which learning style do you prefer: visual, auditory, reading/writing, or kinesthetic? Handle homework and projects according to your personal style.
Visual learners learn best when they get information from pictures. Sit near the front of the class, draw charts, diagrams, and symbols in your notes, and visualize things you hear or read.
Auditory learners absorb the most information when it’s presented vocally. Listen to lectures carefully, and read everything (books, directions, assignments, and study materials) aloud.
Kinesthetic learning means you retain more information if you participate actively in the lesson, like doing science experiments, drawing, or acting out scenes from a book.
A reading and writing style of learning means you learn best when you have written materials to look at. Study with your textbooks and write out notes by hand in class.
5. Go to class regularly.
Skipping can be tempting, but classes are your best chance to learn.
It's easy to fly under the radar with classes in a large lecture hall, but you'll miss valuable information and announcements if you skip them. Attending class also shows your professor that you want to do well and increases your opportunities to establish a rapport with them.
Utilize your professor's office hours too. Get help on assignments and ask for advice from your professor. It will give them a better sense of who you are, which is helpful if you ask them for a letter of recommendation in the future.
6. Participate in class.
You learn more when you ask questions and engage in discussions.
Ask your professor questions when you don't understand a concept or need clarification, answer questions they ask the class, and express yourself in discussions. Remember, asking questions doesn't mean you're unintelligent—it means you're a good listener and diligent student who wants to make the most of their education!
Instructors won’t get upset if you ask questions. Their job is to help you learn, and asking questions shows that you’re paying attention.
You're also more likely to remember the material when you ask questions that help you better understand it.
Listen to other classmates' questions (and the professor's answers). Most answers will probably contain helpful information, including information you might not find in your textbook.
7. Take notes during lectures.
Regular note-taking helps you stay engaged and remember information.
Your ability to take helpful notes directly impacts your ability to study for exams and ace a class. Listen to your instructor carefully and copy down anything they write on the board, plus any information they put a lot of emphasis on. Write keywords and phrases since full sentences take too much time.
Try to take notes with a pen and paper when possible—studies show you remember information better when you write it out by hand.
Lots of instructors make presentations for class, so check and see if those slides are available online. If they are, print them out and supplement them with your own notes rather than trying to copy out all the slide information.
If you struggle to focus in class, ask your professor if you can record their lectures. You can review your recordings when it comes time to study for your exams.
8. Study for every class.
Studying regularly ensures that you learn the material and excel in class.
Pick a study space somewhere comfortable on campus. Read your class syllabus and make a weekly study schedule based on the topics it emphasizes. Then, experiment with different study tactics: you could make flashcards, color-code your notes and review them, or even listen to lectures or audiobooks on the topic.
If you need extra motivation, try studying with a friend or group.
Use your spare time wisely! If you have an hour or two between classes, use the time to study. Breaking up your studying will make it easier than cramming all at once, and you're more likely to remember the material.
If you have nowhere to study but a shared space, at least block out distractions. Wear noise-canceling headphones or listen to "white noise" or relaxing, lyric-free music.
Remember: college is more difficult even if you didn't have to study in high school. Studying will help keep your grades up and prevent you from falling behind in class!
9. Get help when you need it.
Campus resources can help with academic, health, or career concerns.
It's okay to admit when you're stuck and need some help. Check the school's website or make an appointment with your guidance counselor. Whether you're struggling in a class, dealing with mental health issues like anxiety and stress, or have questions about finding a job, your school's instructors and staff are there to help.
Most schools have tutoring or academic support center. Use these resources if you're having trouble with a class. They're usually free, and the tutors won't judge or look down on you.
Schools also usually have a career services center. These centers can help you buff up a resume, practice interviewing skills, find employment or volunteering opportunities, and plan for your future career.
Don't forget the library! Librarians do more than just shelving books all day. They know how to identify valuable, credible research sources that you can use for your projects and academic papers.
If you're hesitant to ask for help, remember that it's not a sign of weakness or a reason to feel embarrassed. It takes strength and courage to admit you're having trouble, and it won't feel overwhelming once you talk to someone.
10. Find academic opportunities to build your confidence.
Be proactive and look for ways to shine in and out of the classroom.
Take the initiative and embrace all the possibilities that college affords you! Introduce yourself to your professors at the beginning of a class. Start a new club or go for a leadership position in an existing one. Take the lead on group projects. The more you put yourself out there, the more confident and successful you'll feel.
Look for at least one instructor or faculty member you admire and ask them to serve as a mentor. For example, a favorite professor might be willing to give you extra guidance as you create a portfolio of work for future job searches.
11. Establish a support system of peers.
Make friends with other college kids
Attend mixers and socials, which are great places to meet new people in the same boat as you are. Introduce yourself to people in your dorm, and keep your door cracked when you're in your room to encourage people to drop by. The friends you make in college can give you support and encouragement (and fun) throughout your time there.
If you meet just one person, ask them to introduce you to friends they think you might get along with. You'll build your networks really quickly.
Religious organizations, clubs, interest societies, sports teams, and academic groups offer opportunities to get to know like-minded people.
It's normal to feel overwhelmed, especially if you're a new freshman—but don't let that feeling keep you from making friends. Remember: you probably aren't the only person who's a little nervous.
12. Learn to live independently.
It's your job to take care of yourself—and take responsibility for yourself.
Things that you might not have had to consider before, like meals, laundry, transportation, and getting up on time, are now completely up to you. Independence also means taking responsibility when you make a mistake. Instead of blaming someone else when something goes wrong, accept what happened and move forward!
Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes—everybody does. You'll make some mistakes, even some big ones, but none of that means you're a failure. You can learn from mistakes and grow as a person.
Improvement is good, but avoid being a perfectionist. Of course, you should do your best with every assignment, but striving for perfection can hold you back from success. Nobody is perfect!
13. Stay on top of your health.
Sleep and eat well to ensure your mind and body are in good shape.
With all the pressures of college, it can be easy to let your emotional, physical, or mental health slip. At least 8 hours of sleep each night will keep your mind sharp since sleep directly affects your awareness and ability to remember things.Eat a healthy, balanced diet (which also helps your brainpower) with plenty of fruits and veggies.
To get a good night’s sleep, avoid all-nighters by planning in advance. Go to sleep and get up at the same times each day and avoid alcohol, caffeine, or nicotine within 4 hours of bedtime.
Make sure you get exercise too. Even if you're not athletic, walking around the block (or campus) each day can get your blood pumping. Exercise can help with positivity and relieve some of your stress!
Tips
Try your best to get a high GPA your freshman year. It is easy to lower your overall GPA, but it is extremely difficult raising it back up. Most likely, your classes will get harder and you will get busier as you enter your junior and senior years. Starting yourself with a high GPA will increase your chance of staying above average by the time you graduate college.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Pick a major that reflects your passions.\\nIt's much harder to succeed at something you don't care about.\\nVisit your academic counselor or advisor to learn about each major and explore the different career opportunities you can expect after graduation.Picking a major should be about what you love—not money or your parents' expectations. As an adult, it's your job to make these important decisions yourself.\\nOnce you pick a major, choose classes that will give you knowledge and experience you can use in your career path.\\nIf you're interested in more disciplines beyond your major, you can always try them through extracurricular activities and elective classes. Explore the many opportunities you have right at your fingertips!\\n2. Set goals and pursue them.\\nMake a list of goals\\nEveryone gets stressed or discouraged sometimes, but that doesn't mean you should let yourself despair. Keep going! You came to college with goals for your life, and you can fulfill them. Think about why you're here and what you want from the experience. Write it down and keep the paper somewhere you can look and feel encouraged.\\nNot everyone goes to college for the same reason. Be honest about your goal: you could be trying to earn a higher degree, get a job in a particular industry, master a skill, achieve independence, or something else.\\nIf you're worried about losing track of your goals, share them with your college support system. Your friends can remind you about your goals in moments of need.\\n3. Create a weekly schedule.\\nUse a schedule to manage your classes, homework, and activities.\\nIf you're in college full-time, you'll have 4 or 5 courses each semester. You may also have other responsibilities, like work, volunteering, and athletics. Use a planner to record important events and due dates, and set notifications as needed. Planning ahead makes all your work feel less stressful!\\nWrite everything in your planner as soon as you know about it, so you won't forget later.\\nTry an electronic planner like Google Calendars. You can create notifications and color coordinate by category (athletics, homework, social events, and more).\\nOrganize all your papers and books to keep up with your busy schedule. Sort everything by class; keep a neat binder or folder for each, and put assignments into their appropriate spot, so you don't lose them.\\n4. Make a plan that plays to your strengths.\\nKnowing your work habits and learning style makes schoolwork easier.\\nAsk yourself: do you enjoy working in the morning or at night? Can you complete a project in one sitting, or do you work best in increments? Which learning style do you prefer: visual, auditory, reading/writing, or kinesthetic? Handle homework and projects according to your personal style.\\nVisual learners learn best when they get information from pictures. Sit near the front of the class, draw charts, diagrams, and symbols in your notes, and visualize things you hear or read.\\nAuditory learners absorb the most information when it’s presented vocally. Listen to lectures carefully, and read everything (books, directions, assignments, and study materials) aloud.\\nKinesthetic learning means you retain more information if you participate actively in the lesson, like doing science experiments, drawing, or acting out scenes from a book.\\nA reading and writing style of learning means you learn best when you have written materials to look at. Study with your textbooks and write out notes by hand in class.\\n5. Go to class regularly.\\nSkipping can be tempting, but classes are your best chance to learn.\\nIt's easy to fly under the radar with classes in a large lecture hall, but you'll miss valuable information and announcements if you skip them. Attending class also shows your professor that you want to do well and increases your opportunities to establish a rapport with them.\\nUtilize your professor's office hours too. Get help on assignments and ask for advice from your professor. It will give them a better sense of who you are, which is helpful if you ask them for a letter of recommendation in the future.\\n6. Participate in class.\\nYou learn more when you ask questions and engage in discussions.\\nAsk your professor questions when you don't understand a concept or need clarification, answer questions they ask the class, and express yourself in discussions. Remember, asking questions doesn't mean you're unintelligent—it means you're a good listener and diligent student who wants to make the most of their education!\\nInstructors won’t get upset if you ask questions. Their job is to help you learn, and asking questions shows that you’re paying attention.\\nYou're also more likely to remember the material when you ask questions that help you better understand it.\\nListen to other classmates' questions (and the professor's answers). Most answers will probably contain helpful information, including information you might not find in your textbook.\\n7. Take notes during lectures.\\nRegular note-taking helps you stay engaged and remember information.\\nYour ability to take helpful notes directly impacts your ability to study for exams and ace a class. Listen to your instructor carefully and copy down anything they write on the board, plus any information they put a lot of emphasis on. Write keywords and phrases since full sentences take too much time.\\nTry to take notes with a pen and paper when possible—studies show you remember information better when you write it out by hand.\\nLots of instructors make presentations for class, so check and see if those slides are available online. If they are, print them out and supplement them with your own notes rather than trying to copy out all the slide information.\\nIf you struggle to focus in class, ask your professor if you can record their lectures. You can review your recordings when it comes time to study for your exams.\\n8. Study for every class.\\nStudying regularly ensures that you learn the material and excel in class.\\nPick a study space somewhere comfortable on campus. Read your class syllabus and make a weekly study schedule based on the topics it emphasizes. Then, experiment with different study tactics: you could make flashcards, color-code your notes and review them, or even listen to lectures or audiobooks on the topic.\\nIf you need extra motivation, try studying with a friend or group.\\nUse your spare time wisely! If you have an hour or two between classes, use the time to study. Breaking up your studying will make it easier than cramming all at once, and you're more likely to remember the material.\\nIf you have nowhere to study but a shared space, at least block out distractions. Wear noise-canceling headphones or listen to \\\"white noise\\\" or relaxing, lyric-free music.\\nRemember: college is more difficult even if you didn't have to study in high school. Studying will help keep your grades up and prevent you from falling behind in class!\\n9. Get help when you need it.\\nCampus resources can help with academic, health, or career concerns.\\nIt's okay to admit when you're stuck and need some help. Check the school's website or make an appointment with your guidance counselor. Whether you're struggling in a class, dealing with mental health issues like anxiety and stress, or have questions about finding a job, your school's instructors and staff are there to help.\\nMost schools have tutoring or academic support center. Use these resources if you're having trouble with a class. They're usually free, and the tutors won't judge or look down on you.\\nSchools also usually have a career services center. These centers can help you buff up a resume, practice interviewing skills, find employment or volunteering opportunities, and plan for your future career.\\nDon't forget the library! Librarians do more than just shelving books all day. They know how to identify valuable, credible research sources that you can use for your projects and academic papers.\\nIf you're hesitant to ask for help, remember that it's not a sign of weakness or a reason to feel embarrassed. It takes strength and courage to admit you're having trouble, and it won't feel overwhelming once you talk to someone.\\n10. Find academic opportunities to build your confidence.\\nBe proactive and look for ways to shine in and out of the classroom.\\nTake the initiative and embrace all the possibilities that college affords you! Introduce yourself to your professors at the beginning of a class. Start a new club or go for a leadership position in an existing one. Take the lead on group projects. The more you put yourself out there, the more confident and successful you'll feel.\\nLook for at least one instructor or faculty member you admire and ask them to serve as a mentor. For example, a favorite professor might be willing to give you extra guidance as you create a portfolio of work for future job searches.\\n11. Establish a support system of peers.\\nMake friends with other college kids\\nAttend mixers and socials, which are great places to meet new people in the same boat as you are. Introduce yourself to people in your dorm, and keep your door cracked when you're in your room to encourage people to drop by. The friends you make in college can give you support and encouragement (and fun) throughout your time there.\\nIf you meet just one person, ask them to introduce you to friends they think you might get along with. You'll build your networks really quickly.\\nReligious organizations, clubs, interest societies, sports teams, and academic groups offer opportunities to get to know like-minded people.\\nIt's normal to feel overwhelmed, especially if you're a new freshman—but don't let that feeling keep you from making friends. Remember: you probably aren't the only person who's a little nervous.\\n12. Learn to live independently.\\nIt's your job to take care of yourself—and take responsibility for yourself.\\nThings that you might not have had to consider before, like meals, laundry, transportation, and getting up on time, are now completely up to you. Independence also means taking responsibility when you make a mistake. Instead of blaming someone else when something goes wrong, accept what happened and move forward!\\nRemember that it’s okay to make mistakes—everybody does. You'll make some mistakes, even some big ones, but none of that means you're a failure. You can learn from mistakes and grow as a person.\\nImprovement is good, but avoid being a perfectionist. Of course, you should do your best with every assignment, but striving for perfection can hold you back from success. Nobody is perfect!\\n13. Stay on top of your health.\\nSleep and eat well to ensure your mind and body are in good shape.\\nWith all the pressures of college, it can be easy to let your emotional, physical, or mental health slip. At least 8 hours of sleep each night will keep your mind sharp since sleep directly affects your awareness and ability to remember things.Eat a healthy, balanced diet (which also helps your brainpower) with plenty of fruits and veggies.\\nTo get a good night’s sleep, avoid all-nighters by planning in advance. Go to sleep and get up at the same times each day and avoid alcohol, caffeine, or nicotine within 4 hours of bedtime.\\nMake sure you get exercise too. Even if you're not athletic, walking around the block (or campus) each day can get your blood pumping. Exercise can help with positivity and relieve some of your stress!\\nTips\\nTry your best to get a high GPA your freshman year. It is easy to lower your overall GPA, but it is extremely difficult raising it back up. Most likely, your classes will get harder and you will get busier as you enter your junior and senior years. Starting yourself with a high GPA will increase your chance of staying above average by the time you graduate college.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone's college experience is a little bit different, but we all go with a similar purpose: to learn the things we need to be successful in life. So, as you begin your college career, how can you ensure you're a good student and ace your classes? Read on for a comprehensive list of tips to help you achieve academic success. By using your time wisely and taking care of yourself, you'll be a fantastic college student!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a major that reflects your passions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It's much harder to succeed at something you don't care about.\", \"描述\": \"Visit your academic counselor or advisor to learn about each major and explore the different career opportunities you can expect after graduation.Picking a major should be about what you love—not money or your parents' expectations. As an adult, it's your job to make these important decisions yourself.\\nOnce you pick a major, choose classes that will give you knowledge and experience you can use in your career path.\\nIf you're interested in more disciplines beyond your major, you can always try them through extracurricular activities and elective classes. Explore the many opportunities you have right at your fingertips!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set goals and pursue them.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list of goals\", \"描述\": \"Everyone gets stressed or discouraged sometimes, but that doesn't mean you should let yourself despair. Keep going! You came to college with goals for your life, and you can fulfill them. Think about why you're here and what you want from the experience. Write it down and keep the paper somewhere you can look and feel encouraged.\\nNot everyone goes to college for the same reason. Be honest about your goal: you could be trying to earn a higher degree, get a job in a particular industry, master a skill, achieve independence, or something else.\\nIf you're worried about losing track of your goals, share them with your college support system. Your friends can remind you about your goals in moments of need.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a weekly schedule.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use a schedule to manage your classes, homework, and activities.\", \"描述\": \"If you're in college full-time, you'll have 4 or 5 courses each semester. You may also have other responsibilities, like work, volunteering, and athletics. Use a planner to record important events and due dates, and set notifications as needed. Planning ahead makes all your work feel less stressful!\\nWrite everything in your planner as soon as you know about it, so you won't forget later.\\nTry an electronic planner like Google Calendars. You can create notifications and color coordinate by category (athletics, homework, social events, and more).\\nOrganize all your papers and books to keep up with your busy schedule. Sort everything by class; keep a neat binder or folder for each, and put assignments into their appropriate spot, so you don't lose them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a plan that plays to your strengths.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Knowing your work habits and learning style makes schoolwork easier.\", \"描述\": \"Ask yourself: do you enjoy working in the morning or at night? Can you complete a project in one sitting, or do you work best in increments? Which learning style do you prefer: visual, auditory, reading/writing, or kinesthetic? Handle homework and projects according to your personal style.\\nVisual learners learn best when they get information from pictures. Sit near the front of the class, draw charts, diagrams, and symbols in your notes, and visualize things you hear or read.\\nAuditory learners absorb the most information when it’s presented vocally. Listen to lectures carefully, and read everything (books, directions, assignments, and study materials) aloud.\\nKinesthetic learning means you retain more information if you participate actively in the lesson, like doing science experiments, drawing, or acting out scenes from a book.\\nA reading and writing style of learning means you learn best when you have written materials to look at. Study with your textbooks and write out notes by hand in class.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go to class regularly.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Skipping can be tempting, but classes are your best chance to learn.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to fly under the radar with classes in a large lecture hall, but you'll miss valuable information and announcements if you skip them. Attending class also shows your professor that you want to do well and increases your opportunities to establish a rapport with them.\\nUtilize your professor's office hours too. Get help on assignments and ask for advice from your professor. It will give them a better sense of who you are, which is helpful if you ask them for a letter of recommendation in the future.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Participate in class.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You learn more when you ask questions and engage in discussions.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your professor questions when you don't understand a concept or need clarification, answer questions they ask the class, and express yourself in discussions. Remember, asking questions doesn't mean you're unintelligent—it means you're a good listener and diligent student who wants to make the most of their education!\\nInstructors won’t get upset if you ask questions. Their job is to help you learn, and asking questions shows that you’re paying attention.\\nYou're also more likely to remember the material when you ask questions that help you better understand it.\\nListen to other classmates' questions (and the professor's answers). Most answers will probably contain helpful information, including information you might not find in your textbook.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take notes during lectures.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Regular note-taking helps you stay engaged and remember information.\", \"描述\": \"Your ability to take helpful notes directly impacts your ability to study for exams and ace a class. Listen to your instructor carefully and copy down anything they write on the board, plus any information they put a lot of emphasis on. Write keywords and phrases since full sentences take too much time.\\nTry to take notes with a pen and paper when possible—studies show you remember information better when you write it out by hand.\\nLots of instructors make presentations for class, so check and see if those slides are available online. If they are, print them out and supplement them with your own notes rather than trying to copy out all the slide information.\\nIf you struggle to focus in class, ask your professor if you can record their lectures. You can review your recordings when it comes time to study for your exams.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Study for every class.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Studying regularly ensures that you learn the material and excel in class.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a study space somewhere comfortable on campus. Read your class syllabus and make a weekly study schedule based on the topics it emphasizes. Then, experiment with different study tactics: you could make flashcards, color-code your notes and review them, or even listen to lectures or audiobooks on the topic.\\nIf you need extra motivation, try studying with a friend or group.\\nUse your spare time wisely! If you have an hour or two between classes, use the time to study. Breaking up your studying will make it easier than cramming all at once, and you're more likely to remember the material.\\nIf you have nowhere to study but a shared space, at least block out distractions. Wear noise-canceling headphones or listen to \\\"white noise\\\" or relaxing, lyric-free music.\\nRemember: college is more difficult even if you didn't have to study in high school. Studying will help keep your grades up and prevent you from falling behind in class!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Get help when you need it.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Campus resources can help with academic, health, or career concerns.\", \"描述\": \"It's okay to admit when you're stuck and need some help. Check the school's website or make an appointment with your guidance counselor. Whether you're struggling in a class, dealing with mental health issues like anxiety and stress, or have questions about finding a job, your school's instructors and staff are there to help.\\nMost schools have tutoring or academic support center. Use these resources if you're having trouble with a class. They're usually free, and the tutors won't judge or look down on you.\\nSchools also usually have a career services center. These centers can help you buff up a resume, practice interviewing skills, find employment or volunteering opportunities, and plan for your future career.\\nDon't forget the library! Librarians do more than just shelving books all day. They know how to identify valuable, credible research sources that you can use for your projects and academic papers.\\nIf you're hesitant to ask for help, remember that it's not a sign of weakness or a reason to feel embarrassed. It takes strength and courage to admit you're having trouble, and it won't feel overwhelming once you talk to someone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Find academic opportunities to build your confidence.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be proactive and look for ways to shine in and out of the classroom.\", \"描述\": \"Take the initiative and embrace all the possibilities that college affords you! Introduce yourself to your professors at the beginning of a class. Start a new club or go for a leadership position in an existing one. Take the lead on group projects. The more you put yourself out there, the more confident and successful you'll feel.\\nLook for at least one instructor or faculty member you admire and ask them to serve as a mentor. For example, a favorite professor might be willing to give you extra guidance as you create a portfolio of work for future job searches.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Establish a support system of peers.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make friends with other college kids\", \"描述\": \"Attend mixers and socials, which are great places to meet new people in the same boat as you are. Introduce yourself to people in your dorm, and keep your door cracked when you're in your room to encourage people to drop by. The friends you make in college can give you support and encouragement (and fun) throughout your time there.\\nIf you meet just one person, ask them to introduce you to friends they think you might get along with. You'll build your networks really quickly.\\nReligious organizations, clubs, interest societies, sports teams, and academic groups offer opportunities to get to know like-minded people.\\nIt's normal to feel overwhelmed, especially if you're a new freshman—but don't let that feeling keep you from making friends. Remember: you probably aren't the only person who's a little nervous.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Learn to live independently.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It's your job to take care of yourself—and take responsibility for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Things that you might not have had to consider before, like meals, laundry, transportation, and getting up on time, are now completely up to you. Independence also means taking responsibility when you make a mistake. Instead of blaming someone else when something goes wrong, accept what happened and move forward!\\nRemember that it’s okay to make mistakes—everybody does. You'll make some mistakes, even some big ones, but none of that means you're a failure. You can learn from mistakes and grow as a person.\\nImprovement is good, but avoid being a perfectionist. Of course, you should do your best with every assignment, but striving for perfection can hold you back from success. Nobody is perfect!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Stay on top of your health.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sleep and eat well to ensure your mind and body are in good shape.\", \"描述\": \"With all the pressures of college, it can be easy to let your emotional, physical, or mental health slip. At least 8 hours of sleep each night will keep your mind sharp since sleep directly affects your awareness and ability to remember things.Eat a healthy, balanced diet (which also helps your brainpower) with plenty of fruits and veggies.\\nTo get a good night’s sleep, avoid all-nighters by planning in advance. Go to sleep and get up at the same times each day and avoid alcohol, caffeine, or nicotine within 4 hours of bedtime.\\nMake sure you get exercise too. Even if you're not athletic, walking around the block (or campus) each day can get your blood pumping. Exercise can help with positivity and relieve some of your stress!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try your best to get a high GPA your freshman year. It is easy to lower your overall GPA, but it is extremely difficult raising it back up. Most likely, your classes will get harder and you will get busier as you enter your junior and senior years. Starting yourself with a high GPA will increase your chance of staying above average by the time you graduate college.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,432 |
How to Be a Good Cook
|
1. Cultivating Your Inner Chef
1-1. Seek out reliable recipes.
You need to read recipes before you can start to experiment in the kitchen. Even those cooks you know who claim they don’t use recipes, have read their fair share of recipes and even have some saved. A great way to find reliable sources is by researching a specific recipe.
Do an online search of something common like “chili” or “baked mac n’ cheese.”
Read several recipes and choose one that has a good online rating and that looks interesting to you.
Comments on websites aren’t reliable, but you can generally get a decent idea of how successful a recipe was due to the comments.
Ask for suggestions as well. Your friends who enjoy cooking probably have their favorite websites or cookbooks. Don’t be afraid to ask.
You should also ask your family members. There are certain family recipes that grandmothers like to keep in the family and are usually incredible.
1-2. Cook several recipes.
Once you start to build a repertoire of credible recipes, start cooking. If you are new to cooking, try to cook as much as you can. Most recipes have a difficulty rating and you should use this as a guide and cook easy recipes. There is no need to start ambitiously by making homemade gnocchi. Try cooking some of these basic recipes:
Spaghetti and meatballs
Garlic bread
Frittata
Fried chicken
Burgers
French toast
Read the entire recipe before cooking.
1-3. Work through a cookbook.
It helps beginners and pros alike to have a printed out, edited recipe in front of them. Today there are several types of cookbooks that range on skill sets and cuisines. Take a bit of time to consider some of the following recommended cookbooks:
Afro Vegan by Bryant Terry.
The Ode to Southern Food by Edna Lewis
Momofuku by David Chang and Peter Meehan
The Zuni Cafe Cookbook by Judy Rodgers
There are also great food blogs/websites like http://food52.com or http://smittenkitchen.com
1-4. Prepare tougher recipes.
Once you start to become more familiar with cooking and recipes, you can set out to tackle more complex recipes. You might ruin one or two recipes as you work your way up to become a good cook. The point is to learn and overcome from difficulties in the kitchen. Many recipes termed “advanced,” merely require planning from you and sometimes need to be prepped the night before.
Try out some of these dishes that are considered difficult: paella, beef wellington, or mole.
These recipes will take a fair amount of time, but you will feel unstoppable if you can finish one of these.
1-5. Cook all your meals.
Improve your cooking skills by forcing yourself to only eat your own creations. This will help you master your favorite dishes, but it will also inspire you to create new flavors. Cook meals in large quantities to eat leftovers at work.
Cooking all meals takes planning and will power, but you will learn by cooking a lot!
Contain your urge to eat at your favorite restaurants by cooking a similar dish.
1-6. Expand your palate.
A key to being a good cook is to be open to different cuisines from various cultures. You need to experience a wide variety of flavors to help foster your creativity as a cook. Go to a restaurant of a cuisine you have never tried like: Korean, Cuban, Indian, Ethiopian, or Mediterranean.
Talk to foodies for inspiration. Seek out your friend who thinks of herself as a foodie and ask for a restaurant recommendation. Try to go out to dinner with this person to get even more of a food experience.
1-7. Watch cooking shows.
Cooking shows are a great way to watch how recipes are made and offer plenty of helpful cooking tips. You can watch the food channel, which is exclusively reserved for television programs catered around cooking and food. There are also plenty of online videos about cooking that range from amateurs to professional chefs.
2. Cooking Without a Recipe
2-1. Adapt a recipe.
Many times, people who aren’t using a recipe have already made that dish by following a similar recipe. Once you’ve made a recipe a handful of times, try to cook it based on memory. By working through memory, you’ll adapt the recipe into your own dish.
If you enjoy a particular ingredient in a dish, like celery for example, then add more chopped celery to the dish.
Attempt to create a recipe based off the ingredients you own. Try adapting the recipe without buying extra supplies. It might work, or you could fail, but at least you tried.
2-2. Use spices with intention.
A well stocked spice rack can enhance impromptu creations. There are dozens of spices and combinations available to you. Use the following information about some classic spices to help you get started:
Basil is a sweet and earthy herb that has many types variants. Basil pairs well with Italian recipes (pasta, red sauce) and also works well in Asian stir fries with peanuts or coconut milk.
Curry powder is a variety of different herbs that is great for Indian dishes and varieties. Try curry powder in lentil stew, a breakfast scramble, or in rice/quinoa with cilantro.
Cumin is an earthy flavor with a bit of a spice. Cumin is perfect for Mexican dishes like tacos, black bean/refried beans, root vegetables, and on fish (tilapia).
Rosemary is sweet and woody. Rosemary goes well with many dishes like meats or potatoes. Rosemary is a good addition to any type of roasting with olive oil.
Thyme is an earthy herb. Thyme works well in any bean dish. It pairs well with other spices like bay leaves, lemon zest, and parsley.
2-3. Make a pan sauce.
Take advantage of the residue left in your pan after cooking to create a delicious sauce to accompany your meal. This technique works best after searing meat in a pan. Remove the meat and any excess fat from the pan and turn the heat down to medium. Add some spices and herbs like a chopped shallot, garlic, and yellow mustard seed powder. Cook these down for about five minutes and then add some liquid.
One of the best liquids to absorb the pan’s remnants and create flavor is alcohol. Add about a ¼ cup of red/white wine or beer.
Cook the liquid down while stirring with a wooden spoon to blend all the remnants of the pan into the sauce. After 4-5 minutes throw in some lemon zest, thyme, or rosemary to complete a delicious accompaniment to your meal.
2-4. Create a sauté.
Sautéing is the process of cooking food quickly at a high temperature in a shallow, wide pan. The key to sauteing is cutting all the ingredients into uniform size so that everything cooks evenly. You can sauté meat, vegetables, and even fruit. Heat the pan to medium-high for about 10 minutes and then add your favorite oil/butter (2 tablespoons).
Add your chopped food into the pan and cook for about ten minutes stirring frequently.
Experiment with the order of when you add certain ingredients. Some like to add garlic and onions last and others like to add it to the pan first.
If you are sautéing meat, consider sautéing the meat separately to avoid under-cooking the meat. Once you feel comfortable you can sauté everything in the same pan.
2-5. Learn how to caramelize.
Caramelizing is a useful technique that can be used to many ingredients. Caramelizing is all about slow cooking in a pan to bring out the natural sweetness out of an ingredient. Take caramelizing onions for example:
Use thick slices to avoid burning the onion and cook with an even ratio of butter and oil. Cover the surface of the pan, but don’t cram too many onions onto the pan. Keep the heat on medium-low throughout the cooking to ensure a successful caramelization without burning anything. This will take close to 45 minutes if done properly.
You can do this same technique with a variety of produce like garlic or even broccoli.
2-6. Sweat your vegetables.
Sweating your veggies is very similar to sauteing, but the temperature you use to sweat is lower. You want bring out flavors while tenderizing the veggies, instead of browning them. Heat your pan on medium-low heat and wait about 10 minutes for the pan to heat. Add the oil of your choice (2 tbs), distribute the oil in your pan, and then add your chopped veggies.
Throw in a healthy amount of salt and let your veggies sizzle gently, opposed to a loud sizzle. Adjust the temperature if it sounds too loud.
Stir the produce frequently to avoid browning. Cook in the pan for about five to ten minutes. You are looking for your produce to soften or become translucent.
2-7. Blanch your veggies.
Another technique for vegetables is blanching. Heat a large cooking pot of water on high heat with a generous amount of salt. Prepare a bowl of ice water and set to the side. Chop your vegetables and once the water is boiling, add them to the pot. Let the veggies cook for 1 ½ to 2 minutes tops. Strain the vegetables in a colander and immediately dump them into the ice bath.
The result is perfectly tender vegetables that can easily be thrown into a dish.
If you plan to cook the veggies in a different pot, heat them in boiling water for a minute.
After thirty seconds in the ice bath, your vegetables are ready.
2-8. Adjust the flavor.
A vital part of cooking is tasting the flavor as you cook. If the dish tastes bitter or bland, add salt to the dish. Try out a pinch or teaspoon at a time until the flavor improves. If you think the dish still needs more flavor try adding acidity or spice to the dish.
Add spice by using chopped, fresh peppers (jalapeno or habanero), 1 tsp of cayenne pepper or red pepper flakes.
Add acidity near the end of cooking by squeezing a fresh lemon over the dish, or by adding 2 tablespoons of vinegar (rice wine, balsamic, or malt).
Another way to boost the flavor of a dish is by adding a splash of wine. Let the dish cook for 5 to 10 minutes in order to cook off the alcohol.
2-9. Don’t be afraid to experiment.
Experimenting in the kitchen won’t always produce an incredible meal. All cooks who’ve took this leap have failed at some point through experimentation. The point is to attempt to move forward into uncharted cooking territories.
3. Preparing Your Kitchen and Pantry
3-1. Organize your space.
The best way to prepare for a recipe is by having a clean and organized work space. Begin by cleaning the surface tops of your kitchen and ensure that there aren’t any dirty dishes in the sink. Keep your cabinets clean and organized by going through them to check for expired products.
Additionally, you want your refrigerator to be clean and avoid keeping expired or too much leftover food.
3-2. Purchase decent equipment.
The first advice you’ll hear from cooks on how to become better cooks is to have good knives. Invest in the nicest knives you can afford. It might sound unimportant, but quality knives will expedite your chopping process and make cooking more enjoyable.
A good way to check if your knife is sharp enough is if you cry while cutting onions. A knife that is sharp enough won’t cause you to cry.
3-3. Plan out your week.
The best way to save money and shop efficiently is by planning out a meal for each night of the week. Once you figure out your meal for everyday of the week, you can start to look at each day’s recipe and ingredient list. Compile a grocery list based off your plan. Take this model as inspiration for you as you plan out your week:
Monday is pasta night.
Tuesday is taco night.
Wednesday is Asian stir-fry.
Thursday is meat and potato night.
Friday is burger night.
Saturday is your night to go out.
Sunday is leftover night.
3-4. Shop smart.
The best way to shop for multiple recipes is to choose recipes that require similar ingredients. This way you can buy bulk amounts of similar ingredients to cover a lot of grounds. You should also consider the amount of processed food you buy and feed your family. Attempt to stay away from lengthy ingredient lists and especially from GMO (genetically modified products) and high fructose corn syrup.
Shop organic when you have the means to. There are ways of shopping for healthy ingredients on a budget.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Cultivating Your Inner Chef\\n1-1. Seek out reliable recipes.\\nYou need to read recipes before you can start to experiment in the kitchen. Even those cooks you know who claim they don’t use recipes, have read their fair share of recipes and even have some saved. A great way to find reliable sources is by researching a specific recipe.\\nDo an online search of something common like “chili” or “baked mac n’ cheese.”\\nRead several recipes and choose one that has a good online rating and that looks interesting to you.\\nComments on websites aren’t reliable, but you can generally get a decent idea of how successful a recipe was due to the comments.\\nAsk for suggestions as well. Your friends who enjoy cooking probably have their favorite websites or cookbooks. Don’t be afraid to ask.\\nYou should also ask your family members. There are certain family recipes that grandmothers like to keep in the family and are usually incredible.\\n1-2. Cook several recipes.\\nOnce you start to build a repertoire of credible recipes, start cooking. If you are new to cooking, try to cook as much as you can. Most recipes have a difficulty rating and you should use this as a guide and cook easy recipes. There is no need to start ambitiously by making homemade gnocchi. Try cooking some of these basic recipes:\\nSpaghetti and meatballs\\nGarlic bread\\nFrittata\\nFried chicken\\nBurgers\\nFrench toast\\nRead the entire recipe before cooking.\\n1-3. Work through a cookbook.\\nIt helps beginners and pros alike to have a printed out, edited recipe in front of them. Today there are several types of cookbooks that range on skill sets and cuisines. Take a bit of time to consider some of the following recommended cookbooks:\\nAfro Vegan by Bryant Terry.\\nThe Ode to Southern Food by Edna Lewis\\nMomofuku by David Chang and Peter Meehan\\nThe Zuni Cafe Cookbook by Judy Rodgers\\nThere are also great food blogs/websites like http://food52.com or http://smittenkitchen.com\\n1-4. Prepare tougher recipes.\\nOnce you start to become more familiar with cooking and recipes, you can set out to tackle more complex recipes. You might ruin one or two recipes as you work your way up to become a good cook. The point is to learn and overcome from difficulties in the kitchen. Many recipes termed “advanced,” merely require planning from you and sometimes need to be prepped the night before.\\nTry out some of these dishes that are considered difficult: paella, beef wellington, or mole.\\nThese recipes will take a fair amount of time, but you will feel unstoppable if you can finish one of these.\\n1-5. Cook all your meals.\\nImprove your cooking skills by forcing yourself to only eat your own creations. This will help you master your favorite dishes, but it will also inspire you to create new flavors. Cook meals in large quantities to eat leftovers at work.\\nCooking all meals takes planning and will power, but you will learn by cooking a lot!\\nContain your urge to eat at your favorite restaurants by cooking a similar dish.\\n1-6. Expand your palate.\\nA key to being a good cook is to be open to different cuisines from various cultures. You need to experience a wide variety of flavors to help foster your creativity as a cook. Go to a restaurant of a cuisine you have never tried like: Korean, Cuban, Indian, Ethiopian, or Mediterranean.\\nTalk to foodies for inspiration. Seek out your friend who thinks of herself as a foodie and ask for a restaurant recommendation. Try to go out to dinner with this person to get even more of a food experience.\\n1-7. Watch cooking shows.\\nCooking shows are a great way to watch how recipes are made and offer plenty of helpful cooking tips. You can watch the food channel, which is exclusively reserved for television programs catered around cooking and food. There are also plenty of online videos about cooking that range from amateurs to professional chefs.\\n2. Cooking Without a Recipe\\n2-1. Adapt a recipe.\\nMany times, people who aren’t using a recipe have already made that dish by following a similar recipe. Once you’ve made a recipe a handful of times, try to cook it based on memory. By working through memory, you’ll adapt the recipe into your own dish.\\nIf you enjoy a particular ingredient in a dish, like celery for example, then add more chopped celery to the dish.\\nAttempt to create a recipe based off the ingredients you own. Try adapting the recipe without buying extra supplies. It might work, or you could fail, but at least you tried.\\n2-2. Use spices with intention.\\nA well stocked spice rack can enhance impromptu creations. There are dozens of spices and combinations available to you. Use the following information about some classic spices to help you get started:\\nBasil is a sweet and earthy herb that has many types variants. Basil pairs well with Italian recipes (pasta, red sauce) and also works well in Asian stir fries with peanuts or coconut milk.\\nCurry powder is a variety of different herbs that is great for Indian dishes and varieties. Try curry powder in lentil stew, a breakfast scramble, or in rice/quinoa with cilantro.\\nCumin is an earthy flavor with a bit of a spice. Cumin is perfect for Mexican dishes like tacos, black bean/refried beans, root vegetables, and on fish (tilapia).\\nRosemary is sweet and woody. Rosemary goes well with many dishes like meats or potatoes. Rosemary is a good addition to any type of roasting with olive oil.\\nThyme is an earthy herb. Thyme works well in any bean dish. It pairs well with other spices like bay leaves, lemon zest, and parsley.\\n2-3. Make a pan sauce.\\nTake advantage of the residue left in your pan after cooking to create a delicious sauce to accompany your meal. This technique works best after searing meat in a pan. Remove the meat and any excess fat from the pan and turn the heat down to medium. Add some spices and herbs like a chopped shallot, garlic, and yellow mustard seed powder. Cook these down for about five minutes and then add some liquid.\\nOne of the best liquids to absorb the pan’s remnants and create flavor is alcohol. Add about a ¼ cup of red/white wine or beer.\\nCook the liquid down while stirring with a wooden spoon to blend all the remnants of the pan into the sauce. After 4-5 minutes throw in some lemon zest, thyme, or rosemary to complete a delicious accompaniment to your meal.\\n2-4. Create a sauté.\\nSautéing is the process of cooking food quickly at a high temperature in a shallow, wide pan. The key to sauteing is cutting all the ingredients into uniform size so that everything cooks evenly. You can sauté meat, vegetables, and even fruit. Heat the pan to medium-high for about 10 minutes and then add your favorite oil/butter (2 tablespoons).\\nAdd your chopped food into the pan and cook for about ten minutes stirring frequently.\\nExperiment with the order of when you add certain ingredients. Some like to add garlic and onions last and others like to add it to the pan first.\\nIf you are sautéing meat, consider sautéing the meat separately to avoid under-cooking the meat. Once you feel comfortable you can sauté everything in the same pan.\\n2-5. Learn how to caramelize.\\nCaramelizing is a useful technique that can be used to many ingredients. Caramelizing is all about slow cooking in a pan to bring out the natural sweetness out of an ingredient. Take caramelizing onions for example:\\nUse thick slices to avoid burning the onion and cook with an even ratio of butter and oil. Cover the surface of the pan, but don’t cram too many onions onto the pan. Keep the heat on medium-low throughout the cooking to ensure a successful caramelization without burning anything. This will take close to 45 minutes if done properly.\\nYou can do this same technique with a variety of produce like garlic or even broccoli.\\n2-6. Sweat your vegetables.\\nSweating your veggies is very similar to sauteing, but the temperature you use to sweat is lower. You want bring out flavors while tenderizing the veggies, instead of browning them. Heat your pan on medium-low heat and wait about 10 minutes for the pan to heat. Add the oil of your choice (2 tbs), distribute the oil in your pan, and then add your chopped veggies.\\nThrow in a healthy amount of salt and let your veggies sizzle gently, opposed to a loud sizzle. Adjust the temperature if it sounds too loud.\\nStir the produce frequently to avoid browning. Cook in the pan for about five to ten minutes. You are looking for your produce to soften or become translucent.\\n2-7. Blanch your veggies.\\nAnother technique for vegetables is blanching. Heat a large cooking pot of water on high heat with a generous amount of salt. Prepare a bowl of ice water and set to the side. Chop your vegetables and once the water is boiling, add them to the pot. Let the veggies cook for 1 ½ to 2 minutes tops. Strain the vegetables in a colander and immediately dump them into the ice bath.\\nThe result is perfectly tender vegetables that can easily be thrown into a dish.\\nIf you plan to cook the veggies in a different pot, heat them in boiling water for a minute.\\nAfter thirty seconds in the ice bath, your vegetables are ready.\\n2-8. Adjust the flavor.\\nA vital part of cooking is tasting the flavor as you cook. If the dish tastes bitter or bland, add salt to the dish. Try out a pinch or teaspoon at a time until the flavor improves. If you think the dish still needs more flavor try adding acidity or spice to the dish.\\nAdd spice by using chopped, fresh peppers (jalapeno or habanero), 1 tsp of cayenne pepper or red pepper flakes.\\nAdd acidity near the end of cooking by squeezing a fresh lemon over the dish, or by adding 2 tablespoons of vinegar (rice wine, balsamic, or malt).\\nAnother way to boost the flavor of a dish is by adding a splash of wine. Let the dish cook for 5 to 10 minutes in order to cook off the alcohol.\\n2-9. Don’t be afraid to experiment.\\nExperimenting in the kitchen won’t always produce an incredible meal. All cooks who’ve took this leap have failed at some point through experimentation. The point is to attempt to move forward into uncharted cooking territories.\\n3. Preparing Your Kitchen and Pantry\\n3-1. Organize your space.\\nThe best way to prepare for a recipe is by having a clean and organized work space. Begin by cleaning the surface tops of your kitchen and ensure that there aren’t any dirty dishes in the sink. Keep your cabinets clean and organized by going through them to check for expired products.\\nAdditionally, you want your refrigerator to be clean and avoid keeping expired or too much leftover food.\\n3-2. Purchase decent equipment.\\nThe first advice you’ll hear from cooks on how to become better cooks is to have good knives. Invest in the nicest knives you can afford. It might sound unimportant, but quality knives will expedite your chopping process and make cooking more enjoyable.\\nA good way to check if your knife is sharp enough is if you cry while cutting onions. A knife that is sharp enough won’t cause you to cry.\\n3-3. Plan out your week.\\nThe best way to save money and shop efficiently is by planning out a meal for each night of the week. Once you figure out your meal for everyday of the week, you can start to look at each day’s recipe and ingredient list. Compile a grocery list based off your plan. Take this model as inspiration for you as you plan out your week:\\nMonday is pasta night.\\nTuesday is taco night.\\nWednesday is Asian stir-fry.\\nThursday is meat and potato night.\\nFriday is burger night.\\nSaturday is your night to go out.\\nSunday is leftover night.\\n3-4. Shop smart.\\nThe best way to shop for multiple recipes is to choose recipes that require similar ingredients. This way you can buy bulk amounts of similar ingredients to cover a lot of grounds. You should also consider the amount of processed food you buy and feed your family. Attempt to stay away from lengthy ingredient lists and especially from GMO (genetically modified products) and high fructose corn syrup.\\nShop organic when you have the means to. There are ways of shopping for healthy ingredients on a budget.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone has that friend who doesn’t use a recipe, has all the ingredients and makes a delicious dish on a whim. What you don’t always realize is how much effort was previously put into improving that talent. You should approach a kitchen the same way a painter approaches her canvas. Becoming a good cook takes practice, but over time you’ll become confident and successful in the kitchen.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cultivating Your Inner Chef\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Seek out reliable recipes.\", \"描述\": \"You need to read recipes before you can start to experiment in the kitchen. Even those cooks you know who claim they don’t use recipes, have read their fair share of recipes and even have some saved. A great way to find reliable sources is by researching a specific recipe.\\nDo an online search of something common like “chili” or “baked mac n’ cheese.”\\nRead several recipes and choose one that has a good online rating and that looks interesting to you.\\nComments on websites aren’t reliable, but you can generally get a decent idea of how successful a recipe was due to the comments.\\nAsk for suggestions as well. Your friends who enjoy cooking probably have their favorite websites or cookbooks. Don’t be afraid to ask.\\nYou should also ask your family members. There are certain family recipes that grandmothers like to keep in the family and are usually incredible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cook several recipes.\", \"描述\": \"Once you start to build a repertoire of credible recipes, start cooking. If you are new to cooking, try to cook as much as you can. Most recipes have a difficulty rating and you should use this as a guide and cook easy recipes. There is no need to start ambitiously by making homemade gnocchi. Try cooking some of these basic recipes:\\nSpaghetti and meatballs\\nGarlic bread\\nFrittata\\nFried chicken\\nBurgers\\nFrench toast\\nRead the entire recipe before cooking.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work through a cookbook.\", \"描述\": \"It helps beginners and pros alike to have a printed out, edited recipe in front of them. Today there are several types of cookbooks that range on skill sets and cuisines. Take a bit of time to consider some of the following recommended cookbooks:\\nAfro Vegan by Bryant Terry.\\nThe Ode to Southern Food by Edna Lewis\\nMomofuku by David Chang and Peter Meehan\\nThe Zuni Cafe Cookbook by Judy Rodgers\\nThere are also great food blogs/websites like http://food52.com or http://smittenkitchen.com\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Prepare tougher recipes.\", \"描述\": \"Once you start to become more familiar with cooking and recipes, you can set out to tackle more complex recipes. You might ruin one or two recipes as you work your way up to become a good cook. The point is to learn and overcome from difficulties in the kitchen. Many recipes termed “advanced,” merely require planning from you and sometimes need to be prepped the night before.\\nTry out some of these dishes that are considered difficult: paella, beef wellington, or mole.\\nThese recipes will take a fair amount of time, but you will feel unstoppable if you can finish one of these.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Cook all your meals.\", \"描述\": \"Improve your cooking skills by forcing yourself to only eat your own creations. This will help you master your favorite dishes, but it will also inspire you to create new flavors. Cook meals in large quantities to eat leftovers at work.\\nCooking all meals takes planning and will power, but you will learn by cooking a lot!\\nContain your urge to eat at your favorite restaurants by cooking a similar dish.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Expand your palate.\", \"描述\": \"A key to being a good cook is to be open to different cuisines from various cultures. You need to experience a wide variety of flavors to help foster your creativity as a cook. Go to a restaurant of a cuisine you have never tried like: Korean, Cuban, Indian, Ethiopian, or Mediterranean.\\nTalk to foodies for inspiration. Seek out your friend who thinks of herself as a foodie and ask for a restaurant recommendation. Try to go out to dinner with this person to get even more of a food experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Watch cooking shows.\", \"描述\": \"Cooking shows are a great way to watch how recipes are made and offer plenty of helpful cooking tips. You can watch the food channel, which is exclusively reserved for television programs catered around cooking and food. There are also plenty of online videos about cooking that range from amateurs to professional chefs.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cooking Without a Recipe\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Adapt a recipe.\", \"描述\": \"Many times, people who aren’t using a recipe have already made that dish by following a similar recipe. Once you’ve made a recipe a handful of times, try to cook it based on memory. By working through memory, you’ll adapt the recipe into your own dish.\\nIf you enjoy a particular ingredient in a dish, like celery for example, then add more chopped celery to the dish.\\nAttempt to create a recipe based off the ingredients you own. Try adapting the recipe without buying extra supplies. It might work, or you could fail, but at least you tried.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use spices with intention.\", \"描述\": \"A well stocked spice rack can enhance impromptu creations. There are dozens of spices and combinations available to you. Use the following information about some classic spices to help you get started:\\nBasil is a sweet and earthy herb that has many types variants. Basil pairs well with Italian recipes (pasta, red sauce) and also works well in Asian stir fries with peanuts or coconut milk.\\nCurry powder is a variety of different herbs that is great for Indian dishes and varieties. Try curry powder in lentil stew, a breakfast scramble, or in rice/quinoa with cilantro.\\nCumin is an earthy flavor with a bit of a spice. Cumin is perfect for Mexican dishes like tacos, black bean/refried beans, root vegetables, and on fish (tilapia).\\nRosemary is sweet and woody. Rosemary goes well with many dishes like meats or potatoes. Rosemary is a good addition to any type of roasting with olive oil.\\nThyme is an earthy herb. Thyme works well in any bean dish. It pairs well with other spices like bay leaves, lemon zest, and parsley.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a pan sauce.\", \"描述\": \"Take advantage of the residue left in your pan after cooking to create a delicious sauce to accompany your meal. This technique works best after searing meat in a pan. Remove the meat and any excess fat from the pan and turn the heat down to medium. Add some spices and herbs like a chopped shallot, garlic, and yellow mustard seed powder. Cook these down for about five minutes and then add some liquid.\\nOne of the best liquids to absorb the pan’s remnants and create flavor is alcohol. Add about a ¼ cup of red/white wine or beer.\\nCook the liquid down while stirring with a wooden spoon to blend all the remnants of the pan into the sauce. After 4-5 minutes throw in some lemon zest, thyme, or rosemary to complete a delicious accompaniment to your meal.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create a sauté.\", \"描述\": \"Sautéing is the process of cooking food quickly at a high temperature in a shallow, wide pan. The key to sauteing is cutting all the ingredients into uniform size so that everything cooks evenly. You can sauté meat, vegetables, and even fruit. Heat the pan to medium-high for about 10 minutes and then add your favorite oil/butter (2 tablespoons).\\nAdd your chopped food into the pan and cook for about ten minutes stirring frequently.\\nExperiment with the order of when you add certain ingredients. Some like to add garlic and onions last and others like to add it to the pan first.\\nIf you are sautéing meat, consider sautéing the meat separately to avoid under-cooking the meat. Once you feel comfortable you can sauté everything in the same pan.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn how to caramelize.\", \"描述\": \"Caramelizing is a useful technique that can be used to many ingredients. Caramelizing is all about slow cooking in a pan to bring out the natural sweetness out of an ingredient. Take caramelizing onions for example:\\nUse thick slices to avoid burning the onion and cook with an even ratio of butter and oil. Cover the surface of the pan, but don’t cram too many onions onto the pan. Keep the heat on medium-low throughout the cooking to ensure a successful caramelization without burning anything. This will take close to 45 minutes if done properly.\\nYou can do this same technique with a variety of produce like garlic or even broccoli.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Sweat your vegetables.\", \"描述\": \"Sweating your veggies is very similar to sauteing, but the temperature you use to sweat is lower. You want bring out flavors while tenderizing the veggies, instead of browning them. Heat your pan on medium-low heat and wait about 10 minutes for the pan to heat. Add the oil of your choice (2 tbs), distribute the oil in your pan, and then add your chopped veggies.\\nThrow in a healthy amount of salt and let your veggies sizzle gently, opposed to a loud sizzle. Adjust the temperature if it sounds too loud.\\nStir the produce frequently to avoid browning. Cook in the pan for about five to ten minutes. You are looking for your produce to soften or become translucent.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Blanch your veggies.\", \"描述\": \"Another technique for vegetables is blanching. Heat a large cooking pot of water on high heat with a generous amount of salt. Prepare a bowl of ice water and set to the side. Chop your vegetables and once the water is boiling, add them to the pot. Let the veggies cook for 1 ½ to 2 minutes tops. Strain the vegetables in a colander and immediately dump them into the ice bath.\\nThe result is perfectly tender vegetables that can easily be thrown into a dish.\\nIf you plan to cook the veggies in a different pot, heat them in boiling water for a minute.\\nAfter thirty seconds in the ice bath, your vegetables are ready.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Adjust the flavor.\", \"描述\": \"A vital part of cooking is tasting the flavor as you cook. If the dish tastes bitter or bland, add salt to the dish. Try out a pinch or teaspoon at a time until the flavor improves. If you think the dish still needs more flavor try adding acidity or spice to the dish.\\nAdd spice by using chopped, fresh peppers (jalapeno or habanero), 1 tsp of cayenne pepper or red pepper flakes.\\nAdd acidity near the end of cooking by squeezing a fresh lemon over the dish, or by adding 2 tablespoons of vinegar (rice wine, balsamic, or malt).\\nAnother way to boost the flavor of a dish is by adding a splash of wine. Let the dish cook for 5 to 10 minutes in order to cook off the alcohol.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don’t be afraid to experiment.\", \"描述\": \"Experimenting in the kitchen won’t always produce an incredible meal. All cooks who’ve took this leap have failed at some point through experimentation. The point is to attempt to move forward into uncharted cooking territories.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Preparing Your Kitchen and Pantry\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Organize your space.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to prepare for a recipe is by having a clean and organized work space. Begin by cleaning the surface tops of your kitchen and ensure that there aren’t any dirty dishes in the sink. Keep your cabinets clean and organized by going through them to check for expired products.\\nAdditionally, you want your refrigerator to be clean and avoid keeping expired or too much leftover food.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Purchase decent equipment.\", \"描述\": \"The first advice you’ll hear from cooks on how to become better cooks is to have good knives. Invest in the nicest knives you can afford. It might sound unimportant, but quality knives will expedite your chopping process and make cooking more enjoyable.\\nA good way to check if your knife is sharp enough is if you cry while cutting onions. A knife that is sharp enough won’t cause you to cry.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plan out your week.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to save money and shop efficiently is by planning out a meal for each night of the week. Once you figure out your meal for everyday of the week, you can start to look at each day’s recipe and ingredient list. Compile a grocery list based off your plan. Take this model as inspiration for you as you plan out your week:\\nMonday is pasta night.\\nTuesday is taco night.\\nWednesday is Asian stir-fry.\\nThursday is meat and potato night.\\nFriday is burger night.\\nSaturday is your night to go out.\\nSunday is leftover night.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Shop smart.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to shop for multiple recipes is to choose recipes that require similar ingredients. This way you can buy bulk amounts of similar ingredients to cover a lot of grounds. You should also consider the amount of processed food you buy and feed your family. Attempt to stay away from lengthy ingredient lists and especially from GMO (genetically modified products) and high fructose corn syrup.\\nShop organic when you have the means to. There are ways of shopping for healthy ingredients on a budget.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,433 |
How to Be a Good Date
|
1. Nail the first impression by looking your best.
When you look good, you feel good, too.
Pick out your favorite outfit, wash your face, and brush your hair. If you like makeup, you can wear it—if not, that’s fine too!
What you wear depends a lot on what you’re doing on your date. For example, if you’re going mini golfing, jeans and a T-shirt are probably fine. If you’re going to a fancy restaurant, you might want to wear slacks or a skirt and a button-down.
2. Get to the date on time.
Make a good first impression right from the start.
Head out early so you get to the venue 10 to 15 minutes before your date does. If you’re going to be a little late, shoot your date a text so they know to hang tight.
If you’re going somewhere you’ve never been before, look it up on a map ahead of time so you know when you need to leave.
3. Introduce yourself with a smile.
Give your date a quick hug or handshake to open up.
Your greeting has the potential to make or break your date, so start yourself out on the right foot. If you don’t know each other, shake their hand and tell them your name. If you do know each other, give your date a quick hug and a warm hello.
If you’re feeling nervous (or if your date seems nervous), try dispelling the tension with a quick joke. Something like, “Do you like my outfit? I changed 3 times!” will break the ice so you two can have fun the rest of your date.
4. Let your true personality shine.
Dating is all about getting to know each other.
As you chat with your date and hang out, make sure you’re not putting on a front for them. Show off your true personality so your date gets a sense of who you are, and don’t be afraid to get a little silly or weird!
While being yourself is great, try not to be overly negative. Complaining too much on the first date, whether it’s about the traffic, your family, or singlehood, could put your date off.
5. Show off your manners.
Being polite is a great way to show your date that you’re a good person.
Not only should you use your manners with your date, try to be polite and courteous to anyone around you, like waiters, restaurant hosts, or valets. Show off your charming personality by saying please and thank you so your date knows that you’re a nice person.
This tip might sound like a no brainer, but you’d be surprised—some people like to show off how macho they are on dates by acting rude or aloof (and it usually doesn’t land them a second one).
6. Ask your date questions.
Get a fun conversation going to learn more about your date.
Try asking open-ended questions so they can talk about themselves for a few minutes. If they’re a good date, they’ll ask you some questions, too! Try things like:
“What do you do for work?”
“What’s your favorite place to travel?”
“Do you like your job?”
“How long have you lived in the area?”
7. Get into a deep conversation.
Once you move past the small talk, try to really get to know your date.
Ask them about their family, their past, or even the meaning of life to really form a connection. You could even ask them something silly, like if they believe in aliens or Bigfoot! Try conversation topics like:
“Have you ever seen a UFO?”
“Did you like growing up in a small town?”
“What’s a memory from your childhood that makes you smile?”
8. Listen attentively as your date talks.
Try to avoid distractions so you can really engage with your date.
Put down your phone and look the other person in the eyes as they talk. To show you’re really listening, nod your head and ask follow-up questions.
Being on your phone all the time is super off-putting. Try to keep it in your pocket or your purse, and only take it out to check the time or send a quick text once or twice.
9. Tell your date about yourself, too.
Asking too many questions can feel like an interview.
As you and your date talk, try switching between asking and answering questions so it feels nice and natural. Avoid pre-planned jokes or one-liners, since they can feel a little stiff.
If you think you’re talking about yourself too much, say "Enough about me, let's talk about you!"
10. Stay away from controversial topics.
Keep your date conversation light and fun.
Try not to bring up politics, religion, or anything that might spark a debate between you and your date. If you two like each other, there will be plenty of time to talk about that stuff later.
If it comes up naturally, feel free to give your opinions—but keep them civil, and try not to argue back and forth.
11. Avoid talking about your ex.
This can be a heavy topic for a first date.
Even if you only have nice things to say about your ex-partner, your date probably doesn’t want to hear them just yet. Save the past relationships chat for when you two know each other a little better.
Many people see bringing up an ex too much as a red flag, and for good reason: if you constantly talk about your ex on a date, there’s a good chance you aren’t over them yet.
12. Offer to split the bill.
It’s a nice gesture that will mean a lot to your date.
If you want to, you can offer to pay it in full; if not, suggest going 50/50. It will keep things light and casual so no one feels pressured to spend a ton of money.
There’s some controversy surrounding who should pay on the first date (some people think whoever initiated the date should pay, while others like the more traditional role of the man paying). Realistically, there’s no right or wrong way to go about this, so do whatever feels comfortable to you.
13. Ask for another date if you like them.
If you had a good time, there’s no reason to be coy!
Ask your date if they’re free again next week so you two can hang out. Or, shoot them a text after your date to see if they’re interested in seeing you again.
If you are interested, asking for another date will let the other person know that you like them. That way, they can choose whether or not they want to continue the relationship.
Tips
Don't forget to have fun! Dating should be enjoyable, not stressful.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Nail the first impression by looking your best.\\nWhen you look good, you feel good, too.\\nPick out your favorite outfit, wash your face, and brush your hair. If you like makeup, you can wear it—if not, that’s fine too!\\nWhat you wear depends a lot on what you’re doing on your date. For example, if you’re going mini golfing, jeans and a T-shirt are probably fine. If you’re going to a fancy restaurant, you might want to wear slacks or a skirt and a button-down.\\n2. Get to the date on time.\\nMake a good first impression right from the start.\\nHead out early so you get to the venue 10 to 15 minutes before your date does. If you’re going to be a little late, shoot your date a text so they know to hang tight.\\nIf you’re going somewhere you’ve never been before, look it up on a map ahead of time so you know when you need to leave.\\n3. Introduce yourself with a smile.\\nGive your date a quick hug or handshake to open up.\\nYour greeting has the potential to make or break your date, so start yourself out on the right foot. If you don’t know each other, shake their hand and tell them your name. If you do know each other, give your date a quick hug and a warm hello.\\nIf you’re feeling nervous (or if your date seems nervous), try dispelling the tension with a quick joke. Something like, “Do you like my outfit? I changed 3 times!” will break the ice so you two can have fun the rest of your date.\\n4. Let your true personality shine.\\nDating is all about getting to know each other.\\nAs you chat with your date and hang out, make sure you’re not putting on a front for them. Show off your true personality so your date gets a sense of who you are, and don’t be afraid to get a little silly or weird!\\nWhile being yourself is great, try not to be overly negative. Complaining too much on the first date, whether it’s about the traffic, your family, or singlehood, could put your date off.\\n5. Show off your manners.\\nBeing polite is a great way to show your date that you’re a good person.\\nNot only should you use your manners with your date, try to be polite and courteous to anyone around you, like waiters, restaurant hosts, or valets. Show off your charming personality by saying please and thank you so your date knows that you’re a nice person.\\nThis tip might sound like a no brainer, but you’d be surprised—some people like to show off how macho they are on dates by acting rude or aloof (and it usually doesn’t land them a second one).\\n6. Ask your date questions.\\nGet a fun conversation going to learn more about your date.\\nTry asking open-ended questions so they can talk about themselves for a few minutes. If they’re a good date, they’ll ask you some questions, too! Try things like:\\n“What do you do for work?”\\n“What’s your favorite place to travel?”\\n“Do you like your job?”\\n“How long have you lived in the area?”\\n7. Get into a deep conversation.\\nOnce you move past the small talk, try to really get to know your date.\\nAsk them about their family, their past, or even the meaning of life to really form a connection. You could even ask them something silly, like if they believe in aliens or Bigfoot! Try conversation topics like:\\n“Have you ever seen a UFO?”\\n“Did you like growing up in a small town?”\\n“What’s a memory from your childhood that makes you smile?”\\n8. Listen attentively as your date talks.\\nTry to avoid distractions so you can really engage with your date.\\nPut down your phone and look the other person in the eyes as they talk. To show you’re really listening, nod your head and ask follow-up questions.\\nBeing on your phone all the time is super off-putting. Try to keep it in your pocket or your purse, and only take it out to check the time or send a quick text once or twice.\\n9. Tell your date about yourself, too.\\nAsking too many questions can feel like an interview.\\nAs you and your date talk, try switching between asking and answering questions so it feels nice and natural. Avoid pre-planned jokes or one-liners, since they can feel a little stiff.\\nIf you think you’re talking about yourself too much, say \\\"Enough about me, let's talk about you!\\\"\\n10. Stay away from controversial topics.\\nKeep your date conversation light and fun.\\nTry not to bring up politics, religion, or anything that might spark a debate between you and your date. If you two like each other, there will be plenty of time to talk about that stuff later.\\nIf it comes up naturally, feel free to give your opinions—but keep them civil, and try not to argue back and forth.\\n11. Avoid talking about your ex.\\nThis can be a heavy topic for a first date.\\nEven if you only have nice things to say about your ex-partner, your date probably doesn’t want to hear them just yet. Save the past relationships chat for when you two know each other a little better.\\nMany people see bringing up an ex too much as a red flag, and for good reason: if you constantly talk about your ex on a date, there’s a good chance you aren’t over them yet.\\n12. Offer to split the bill.\\nIt’s a nice gesture that will mean a lot to your date.\\nIf you want to, you can offer to pay it in full; if not, suggest going 50/50. It will keep things light and casual so no one feels pressured to spend a ton of money.\\nThere’s some controversy surrounding who should pay on the first date (some people think whoever initiated the date should pay, while others like the more traditional role of the man paying). Realistically, there’s no right or wrong way to go about this, so do whatever feels comfortable to you.\\n13. Ask for another date if you like them.\\nIf you had a good time, there’s no reason to be coy!\\nAsk your date if they’re free again next week so you two can hang out. Or, shoot them a text after your date to see if they’re interested in seeing you again.\\nIf you are interested, asking for another date will let the other person know that you like them. That way, they can choose whether or not they want to continue the relationship.\\nTips\\nDon't forget to have fun! Dating should be enjoyable, not stressful.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Finding someone you like and asking them out is hard enough, but getting ready for the date can be even more nerve wracking. Worrying about what to say or how to act is totally normal, even if it feels like you’ve overthinking it. With these tips and tricks, you can focus on getting to know your date better instead of stressing about the little things (and remember: your date is probably super nervous too!).\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Nail the first impression by looking your best.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When you look good, you feel good, too.\", \"描述\": \"Pick out your favorite outfit, wash your face, and brush your hair. If you like makeup, you can wear it—if not, that’s fine too!\\nWhat you wear depends a lot on what you’re doing on your date. For example, if you’re going mini golfing, jeans and a T-shirt are probably fine. If you’re going to a fancy restaurant, you might want to wear slacks or a skirt and a button-down.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get to the date on time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a good first impression right from the start.\", \"描述\": \"Head out early so you get to the venue 10 to 15 minutes before your date does. If you’re going to be a little late, shoot your date a text so they know to hang tight.\\nIf you’re going somewhere you’ve never been before, look it up on a map ahead of time so you know when you need to leave.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself with a smile.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your date a quick hug or handshake to open up.\", \"描述\": \"Your greeting has the potential to make or break your date, so start yourself out on the right foot. If you don’t know each other, shake their hand and tell them your name. If you do know each other, give your date a quick hug and a warm hello.\\nIf you’re feeling nervous (or if your date seems nervous), try dispelling the tension with a quick joke. Something like, “Do you like my outfit? I changed 3 times!” will break the ice so you two can have fun the rest of your date.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let your true personality shine.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dating is all about getting to know each other.\", \"描述\": \"As you chat with your date and hang out, make sure you’re not putting on a front for them. Show off your true personality so your date gets a sense of who you are, and don’t be afraid to get a little silly or weird!\\nWhile being yourself is great, try not to be overly negative. Complaining too much on the first date, whether it’s about the traffic, your family, or singlehood, could put your date off.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show off your manners.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being polite is a great way to show your date that you’re a good person.\", \"描述\": \"Not only should you use your manners with your date, try to be polite and courteous to anyone around you, like waiters, restaurant hosts, or valets. Show off your charming personality by saying please and thank you so your date knows that you’re a nice person.\\nThis tip might sound like a no brainer, but you’d be surprised—some people like to show off how macho they are on dates by acting rude or aloof (and it usually doesn’t land them a second one).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask your date questions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get a fun conversation going to learn more about your date.\", \"描述\": \"Try asking open-ended questions so they can talk about themselves for a few minutes. If they’re a good date, they’ll ask you some questions, too! Try things like:\\n“What do you do for work?”\\n“What’s your favorite place to travel?”\\n“Do you like your job?”\\n“How long have you lived in the area?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get into a deep conversation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Once you move past the small talk, try to really get to know your date.\", \"描述\": \"Ask them about their family, their past, or even the meaning of life to really form a connection. You could even ask them something silly, like if they believe in aliens or Bigfoot! Try conversation topics like:\\n“Have you ever seen a UFO?”\\n“Did you like growing up in a small town?”\\n“What’s a memory from your childhood that makes you smile?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Listen attentively as your date talks.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to avoid distractions so you can really engage with your date.\", \"描述\": \"Put down your phone and look the other person in the eyes as they talk. To show you’re really listening, nod your head and ask follow-up questions.\\nBeing on your phone all the time is super off-putting. Try to keep it in your pocket or your purse, and only take it out to check the time or send a quick text once or twice.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Tell your date about yourself, too.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking too many questions can feel like an interview.\", \"描述\": \"As you and your date talk, try switching between asking and answering questions so it feels nice and natural. Avoid pre-planned jokes or one-liners, since they can feel a little stiff.\\nIf you think you’re talking about yourself too much, say \\\"Enough about me, let's talk about you!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Stay away from controversial topics.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your date conversation light and fun.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to bring up politics, religion, or anything that might spark a debate between you and your date. If you two like each other, there will be plenty of time to talk about that stuff later.\\nIf it comes up naturally, feel free to give your opinions—but keep them civil, and try not to argue back and forth.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Avoid talking about your ex.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This can be a heavy topic for a first date.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you only have nice things to say about your ex-partner, your date probably doesn’t want to hear them just yet. Save the past relationships chat for when you two know each other a little better.\\nMany people see bringing up an ex too much as a red flag, and for good reason: if you constantly talk about your ex on a date, there’s a good chance you aren’t over them yet.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Offer to split the bill.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s a nice gesture that will mean a lot to your date.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to, you can offer to pay it in full; if not, suggest going 50/50. It will keep things light and casual so no one feels pressured to spend a ton of money.\\nThere’s some controversy surrounding who should pay on the first date (some people think whoever initiated the date should pay, while others like the more traditional role of the man paying). Realistically, there’s no right or wrong way to go about this, so do whatever feels comfortable to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Ask for another date if you like them.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you had a good time, there’s no reason to be coy!\", \"描述\": \"Ask your date if they’re free again next week so you two can hang out. Or, shoot them a text after your date to see if they’re interested in seeing you again.\\nIf you are interested, asking for another date will let the other person know that you like them. That way, they can choose whether or not they want to continue the relationship.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't forget to have fun! Dating should be enjoyable, not stressful.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,434 |
How to Be a Good Daughter
|
1. Being Responsible
1-1. Help around the house.
Make sure that you do all your chores without your parents having to remind you. Beyond that, take on extra responsibilities, as well. Clean not only your room, but the common areas like the living room and dining room, too. Your parents will appreciate the extra help.
Don’t take any shortcuts on your chores. Do a good and thorough job.
Keep your eyes open for small things that you can help with like clearing the table after dinner.
1-2. Help with younger siblings.
If you have younger siblings, assist your parents with them. If you can, change their diapers, fix their bottles, or help out with their homework. If you’re old enough, offer to babysit them so your parents can go out on the town.
If you are able to stay at home alone, your parents might let you babysit your younger siblings.
You can ask them by saying “Hey Mom & Dad, since you all let me be at home alone more often now, I wanted to let you know that I don’t mind keeping the kids sometimes if you wanna go out for dinner or a movie.”
1-3. Listen to them.
When your parents are giving you advice or just sharing information with you, take heed. They have a lot of experiences that you haven’t had yet, so respect their knowledge. Use their advice in your life so you can avoid mistakes they made.
For instance, if they tell you follow the speed limits, be sure to drive carefully. If they don’t trust one of your friends, spend less time with that friend.
1-4. Respect their decisions.
If your parents set a curfew of 11PM for you, be home by 10:45. Always honor their rules as long as you are living in their home. Show them that you respect them and never ignore them.
1-5. Do your homework.
If you are still in school, be sure to have your homework done as soon as you can. You don’t want them to always have to remind you. If you need their help, just ask them! Parents typically like to feel needed, even when their kids are older.
1-6. Be honest with them.
If you’re struggling with something or have done something wrong, tell them. Don’t keep any secrets from them, but instead come to them openly. If you need to tell them something serious, sit them both down to have a talk.
For instance, perhaps you are failing a class at school. Sit them down and tell them your issue and what you plan to do to fix it. Ask them for help and advice, too.
1-7. Set and follow through with your goals
Setting and following through with goals will show your parents your determination. Tell your parents about your goals and let them support you as you work towards them. By accomplishing your goals, you will be demonstrating to your parents that you are responsible and independent. This will help you to develop a stronger bond with your parents as well.
1-8. Offer extra help.
If you see your parents struggling, offer to help them. If your mom is having a hard time bringing the groceries in, tell her to sit down and go get them all for her. If your parents are having a tough time financially, get a part-time job so you don’t have to ask for money.
1-9. Introduce them to your friends and your friends’ parents.
Keep your parents involved in your life by letting them meet your friends and offering to introduce them to your friends’ parents as well. It’s important that your parents know who you’re spending most of your time with, so keep them in the know.
If you are going out to meet friends, let them know who you’ll be with.
Be sure they meet your significant other, as well.
2. Showing Your Love for Them
2-1. Remember birthdays and anniversaries.
It means a lot to parents when their daughters remember important days like birthdays or anniversaries. Set reminders on the calendar in your phone or on your planner to call home or do something special on these days.
You might take them to dinner, or make them a card, or get them a gift.
2-2. Send sweet texts and cards.
Every so often, send your parents texts saying “I love you” or “Hope you’re having a good day.” Though this will only take a few seconds, it will mean a lot to them. You can do this whether you’re still living at home or if you’ve moved away.
2-3. Buy or make them little gifts.
If you’re able, buy your parents gifts. These gifts can be something big like a new TV or something small and thoughtful like a book your dad wants. Either way, giving a gift shows love and thoughtfulness.
If you can’t afford a gift, make one! There are many DIY gifts you can make that are just as good as buying something.
Ask them if there is anything you can do for them.
2-4. Express gratitude.
More than gifts or any acts that you do, your parents probably just want to know that you appreciate them. Remind them that you are grateful for all that they have done and continue to do for you.
Say “Thank you both so much for being wonderful parents to me. You have been such good examples to me and I am grateful to have you as parents.”
2-5. Spend time with them.
Plan some time each week to hang out with your parents. The older you get, the more they will value this time with you. Have a picnic in the park, go out bowling, or just go for long walks after dinner.
Spend time with them separately, too. Go out for dinner with your mom alone sometimes and with your dad to the movies, for example.
2-6. Reminisce on good memories.
Pull out old photo albums and take a look back at all the fun times you’ve had with your parents. Sit with these albums out on the porch or during dinner one day. Use this time to tell them how important those moments were to you.
For instance, you might say “Wow, I remember that day at the beach! I had so much fun with y’all that day. I’ll never forget how hard we laughed when that crab bit you, Dad.”
3. Being a Good Daughter as an Adult
3-1. Call your parents weekly.
If you are older and living away from home, don’t forget to check in on your parents. Call them up to chat and find out what they’re up to. Update them on important things in your life, too.
Sometimes you may get busy and not have time to call and talk for a long time. When this happens, try sending your parents a quick text to let them know you love them and are thinking about them. You can also use this as an opportunity to schedule a call over the phone, on Skype, or using FaceTime.
3-2. Talk with them about major decisions.
Before making a tough choice, call your folks. They will appreciate you asking them for advice. Also, they might be able to help you make the best decision.
For instance, you might be deciding on which college to go to or which home to buy.
Keep them updated about your life in general, not just major decisions. This includes things like how work and school are going, who you’re dating, and shows or movies you’ve enjoyed lately.
3-3. Visit often.
If you no longer live with your parents, visit them as often as you can. Try to visit at least once monthly to have dinner or go see a movie. If your parents are elderly, take them out to run errands or go over to their house to clean it.
If you’re married and have kids, try to take your your family to see your folks at least a few times a year. You can even plan vacations for you all to take together so they can bond with your spouse and kids.
3-4. Be there to support them.
Just like when you were a baby and needed them, know that now they will occasionally need you. If they are having surgery, show up to be with them. Or maybe they’re receiving an award at work; show up to support. Being a good daughter means being there for them.
3-5. Plan a trip together.
Don’t just vacation with your friends or love interests, vacation with your folks, too! Plan a fun beach day for the three of you or an even longer trip if you’re able. Spend quality time with them and be the best daughter ever!
3-6. Spend time doing things they enjoy.
Your parents have probably sat through so many cartoons and amusement parks that they didn’t necessarily enjoy just for you. Return the favor for them. You might not like art museums, but if they make your mom smile, go with her. Or maybe you find birdwatching boring, but if your dad loves it, do it for him.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Responsible\\n1-1. Help around the house.\\nMake sure that you do all your chores without your parents having to remind you. Beyond that, take on extra responsibilities, as well. Clean not only your room, but the common areas like the living room and dining room, too. Your parents will appreciate the extra help.\\nDon’t take any shortcuts on your chores. Do a good and thorough job.\\nKeep your eyes open for small things that you can help with like clearing the table after dinner.\\n1-2. Help with younger siblings.\\nIf you have younger siblings, assist your parents with them. If you can, change their diapers, fix their bottles, or help out with their homework. If you’re old enough, offer to babysit them so your parents can go out on the town.\\nIf you are able to stay at home alone, your parents might let you babysit your younger siblings.\\nYou can ask them by saying “Hey Mom & Dad, since you all let me be at home alone more often now, I wanted to let you know that I don’t mind keeping the kids sometimes if you wanna go out for dinner or a movie.”\\n1-3. Listen to them.\\nWhen your parents are giving you advice or just sharing information with you, take heed. They have a lot of experiences that you haven’t had yet, so respect their knowledge. Use their advice in your life so you can avoid mistakes they made.\\nFor instance, if they tell you follow the speed limits, be sure to drive carefully. If they don’t trust one of your friends, spend less time with that friend.\\n1-4. Respect their decisions.\\nIf your parents set a curfew of 11PM for you, be home by 10:45. Always honor their rules as long as you are living in their home. Show them that you respect them and never ignore them.\\n1-5. Do your homework.\\nIf you are still in school, be sure to have your homework done as soon as you can. You don’t want them to always have to remind you. If you need their help, just ask them! Parents typically like to feel needed, even when their kids are older.\\n1-6. Be honest with them.\\nIf you’re struggling with something or have done something wrong, tell them. Don’t keep any secrets from them, but instead come to them openly. If you need to tell them something serious, sit them both down to have a talk.\\nFor instance, perhaps you are failing a class at school. Sit them down and tell them your issue and what you plan to do to fix it. Ask them for help and advice, too.\\n1-7. Set and follow through with your goals\\nSetting and following through with goals will show your parents your determination. Tell your parents about your goals and let them support you as you work towards them. By accomplishing your goals, you will be demonstrating to your parents that you are responsible and independent. This will help you to develop a stronger bond with your parents as well.\\n1-8. Offer extra help.\\nIf you see your parents struggling, offer to help them. If your mom is having a hard time bringing the groceries in, tell her to sit down and go get them all for her. If your parents are having a tough time financially, get a part-time job so you don’t have to ask for money.\\n1-9. Introduce them to your friends and your friends’ parents.\\nKeep your parents involved in your life by letting them meet your friends and offering to introduce them to your friends’ parents as well. It’s important that your parents know who you’re spending most of your time with, so keep them in the know.\\nIf you are going out to meet friends, let them know who you’ll be with.\\nBe sure they meet your significant other, as well.\\n2. Showing Your Love for Them\\n2-1. Remember birthdays and anniversaries.\\nIt means a lot to parents when their daughters remember important days like birthdays or anniversaries. Set reminders on the calendar in your phone or on your planner to call home or do something special on these days.\\nYou might take them to dinner, or make them a card, or get them a gift.\\n2-2. Send sweet texts and cards.\\nEvery so often, send your parents texts saying “I love you” or “Hope you’re having a good day.” Though this will only take a few seconds, it will mean a lot to them. You can do this whether you’re still living at home or if you’ve moved away.\\n2-3. Buy or make them little gifts.\\nIf you’re able, buy your parents gifts. These gifts can be something big like a new TV or something small and thoughtful like a book your dad wants. Either way, giving a gift shows love and thoughtfulness.\\nIf you can’t afford a gift, make one! There are many DIY gifts you can make that are just as good as buying something.\\nAsk them if there is anything you can do for them.\\n2-4. Express gratitude.\\nMore than gifts or any acts that you do, your parents probably just want to know that you appreciate them. Remind them that you are grateful for all that they have done and continue to do for you.\\nSay “Thank you both so much for being wonderful parents to me. You have been such good examples to me and I am grateful to have you as parents.”\\n2-5. Spend time with them.\\nPlan some time each week to hang out with your parents. The older you get, the more they will value this time with you. Have a picnic in the park, go out bowling, or just go for long walks after dinner.\\nSpend time with them separately, too. Go out for dinner with your mom alone sometimes and with your dad to the movies, for example.\\n2-6. Reminisce on good memories.\\nPull out old photo albums and take a look back at all the fun times you’ve had with your parents. Sit with these albums out on the porch or during dinner one day. Use this time to tell them how important those moments were to you.\\nFor instance, you might say “Wow, I remember that day at the beach! I had so much fun with y’all that day. I’ll never forget how hard we laughed when that crab bit you, Dad.”\\n3. Being a Good Daughter as an Adult\\n3-1. Call your parents weekly.\\nIf you are older and living away from home, don’t forget to check in on your parents. Call them up to chat and find out what they’re up to. Update them on important things in your life, too.\\nSometimes you may get busy and not have time to call and talk for a long time. When this happens, try sending your parents a quick text to let them know you love them and are thinking about them. You can also use this as an opportunity to schedule a call over the phone, on Skype, or using FaceTime.\\n3-2. Talk with them about major decisions.\\nBefore making a tough choice, call your folks. They will appreciate you asking them for advice. Also, they might be able to help you make the best decision.\\nFor instance, you might be deciding on which college to go to or which home to buy.\\nKeep them updated about your life in general, not just major decisions. This includes things like how work and school are going, who you’re dating, and shows or movies you’ve enjoyed lately.\\n3-3. Visit often.\\nIf you no longer live with your parents, visit them as often as you can. Try to visit at least once monthly to have dinner or go see a movie. If your parents are elderly, take them out to run errands or go over to their house to clean it.\\nIf you’re married and have kids, try to take your your family to see your folks at least a few times a year. You can even plan vacations for you all to take together so they can bond with your spouse and kids.\\n3-4. Be there to support them.\\nJust like when you were a baby and needed them, know that now they will occasionally need you. If they are having surgery, show up to be with them. Or maybe they’re receiving an award at work; show up to support. Being a good daughter means being there for them.\\n3-5. Plan a trip together.\\nDon’t just vacation with your friends or love interests, vacation with your folks, too! Plan a fun beach day for the three of you or an even longer trip if you’re able. Spend quality time with them and be the best daughter ever!\\n3-6. Spend time doing things they enjoy.\\nYour parents have probably sat through so many cartoons and amusement parks that they didn’t necessarily enjoy just for you. Return the favor for them. You might not like art museums, but if they make your mom smile, go with her. Or maybe you find birdwatching boring, but if your dad loves it, do it for him.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"To be a good daughter, you'll need to show your parents that you love and respect them. There is no one way to do this since each family is different, but in general this means that you should listen to your parents, be responsible and help out around the house, and be open, honest, and kind. Whether you're trying to improve your relationship with your parents or hoping to make up for not being on your best behavior, being respectful is the best way to be a good daughter and show your parents how much they mean to you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Responsible\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Help around the house.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you do all your chores without your parents having to remind you. Beyond that, take on extra responsibilities, as well. Clean not only your room, but the common areas like the living room and dining room, too. Your parents will appreciate the extra help.\\nDon’t take any shortcuts on your chores. Do a good and thorough job.\\nKeep your eyes open for small things that you can help with like clearing the table after dinner.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Help with younger siblings.\", \"描述\": \"If you have younger siblings, assist your parents with them. If you can, change their diapers, fix their bottles, or help out with their homework. If you’re old enough, offer to babysit them so your parents can go out on the town.\\nIf you are able to stay at home alone, your parents might let you babysit your younger siblings.\\nYou can ask them by saying “Hey Mom & Dad, since you all let me be at home alone more often now, I wanted to let you know that I don’t mind keeping the kids sometimes if you wanna go out for dinner or a movie.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen to them.\", \"描述\": \"When your parents are giving you advice or just sharing information with you, take heed. They have a lot of experiences that you haven’t had yet, so respect their knowledge. Use their advice in your life so you can avoid mistakes they made.\\nFor instance, if they tell you follow the speed limits, be sure to drive carefully. If they don’t trust one of your friends, spend less time with that friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respect their decisions.\", \"描述\": \"If your parents set a curfew of 11PM for you, be home by 10:45. Always honor their rules as long as you are living in their home. Show them that you respect them and never ignore them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do your homework.\", \"描述\": \"If you are still in school, be sure to have your homework done as soon as you can. You don’t want them to always have to remind you. If you need their help, just ask them! Parents typically like to feel needed, even when their kids are older.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be honest with them.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re struggling with something or have done something wrong, tell them. Don’t keep any secrets from them, but instead come to them openly. If you need to tell them something serious, sit them both down to have a talk.\\nFor instance, perhaps you are failing a class at school. Sit them down and tell them your issue and what you plan to do to fix it. Ask them for help and advice, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Set and follow through with your goals\", \"描述\": \"Setting and following through with goals will show your parents your determination. Tell your parents about your goals and let them support you as you work towards them. By accomplishing your goals, you will be demonstrating to your parents that you are responsible and independent. This will help you to develop a stronger bond with your parents as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Offer extra help.\", \"描述\": \"If you see your parents struggling, offer to help them. If your mom is having a hard time bringing the groceries in, tell her to sit down and go get them all for her. If your parents are having a tough time financially, get a part-time job so you don’t have to ask for money.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Introduce them to your friends and your friends’ parents.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your parents involved in your life by letting them meet your friends and offering to introduce them to your friends’ parents as well. It’s important that your parents know who you’re spending most of your time with, so keep them in the know.\\nIf you are going out to meet friends, let them know who you’ll be with.\\nBe sure they meet your significant other, as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Your Love for Them\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember birthdays and anniversaries.\", \"描述\": \"It means a lot to parents when their daughters remember important days like birthdays or anniversaries. Set reminders on the calendar in your phone or on your planner to call home or do something special on these days.\\nYou might take them to dinner, or make them a card, or get them a gift.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send sweet texts and cards.\", \"描述\": \"Every so often, send your parents texts saying “I love you” or “Hope you’re having a good day.” Though this will only take a few seconds, it will mean a lot to them. You can do this whether you’re still living at home or if you’ve moved away.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Buy or make them little gifts.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re able, buy your parents gifts. These gifts can be something big like a new TV or something small and thoughtful like a book your dad wants. Either way, giving a gift shows love and thoughtfulness.\\nIf you can’t afford a gift, make one! There are many DIY gifts you can make that are just as good as buying something.\\nAsk them if there is anything you can do for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Express gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"More than gifts or any acts that you do, your parents probably just want to know that you appreciate them. Remind them that you are grateful for all that they have done and continue to do for you.\\nSay “Thank you both so much for being wonderful parents to me. You have been such good examples to me and I am grateful to have you as parents.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Spend time with them.\", \"描述\": \"Plan some time each week to hang out with your parents. The older you get, the more they will value this time with you. Have a picnic in the park, go out bowling, or just go for long walks after dinner.\\nSpend time with them separately, too. Go out for dinner with your mom alone sometimes and with your dad to the movies, for example.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reminisce on good memories.\", \"描述\": \"Pull out old photo albums and take a look back at all the fun times you’ve had with your parents. Sit with these albums out on the porch or during dinner one day. Use this time to tell them how important those moments were to you.\\nFor instance, you might say “Wow, I remember that day at the beach! I had so much fun with y’all that day. I’ll never forget how hard we laughed when that crab bit you, Dad.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being a Good Daughter as an Adult\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Call your parents weekly.\", \"描述\": \"If you are older and living away from home, don’t forget to check in on your parents. Call them up to chat and find out what they’re up to. Update them on important things in your life, too.\\nSometimes you may get busy and not have time to call and talk for a long time. When this happens, try sending your parents a quick text to let them know you love them and are thinking about them. You can also use this as an opportunity to schedule a call over the phone, on Skype, or using FaceTime.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk with them about major decisions.\", \"描述\": \"Before making a tough choice, call your folks. They will appreciate you asking them for advice. Also, they might be able to help you make the best decision.\\nFor instance, you might be deciding on which college to go to or which home to buy.\\nKeep them updated about your life in general, not just major decisions. This includes things like how work and school are going, who you’re dating, and shows or movies you’ve enjoyed lately.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Visit often.\", \"描述\": \"If you no longer live with your parents, visit them as often as you can. Try to visit at least once monthly to have dinner or go see a movie. If your parents are elderly, take them out to run errands or go over to their house to clean it.\\nIf you’re married and have kids, try to take your your family to see your folks at least a few times a year. You can even plan vacations for you all to take together so they can bond with your spouse and kids.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be there to support them.\", \"描述\": \"Just like when you were a baby and needed them, know that now they will occasionally need you. If they are having surgery, show up to be with them. Or maybe they’re receiving an award at work; show up to support. Being a good daughter means being there for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Plan a trip together.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t just vacation with your friends or love interests, vacation with your folks, too! Plan a fun beach day for the three of you or an even longer trip if you’re able. Spend quality time with them and be the best daughter ever!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Spend time doing things they enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"Your parents have probably sat through so many cartoons and amusement parks that they didn’t necessarily enjoy just for you. Return the favor for them. You might not like art museums, but if they make your mom smile, go with her. Or maybe you find birdwatching boring, but if your dad loves it, do it for him.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,435 |
How to Be a Good Debater
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1. Communicating Effectively
1-1. Follow the form, if debating formally
If you’re going to be debating in a formal setting, such as for a class or for a club, you’ll want to be sure you know how a debate actually works. Formal debates follow a formula, and you’ll want to know that formula like the back of your hand so that you’re prepared. It’s also important because breaking from the formula can lose you points.
Usually there is a statement and two or more teams or single debaters will be assigned to either agree or disagree with the idea. You’ll then take turns making your points according to a set period of time.
There are a couple of different debate styles (which determine the rules and how the debate works), so you’ll need to know which one you’re using in order to be clear on the rules. It’s a good idea to look into this well in advance and do some research online. Look for words like “competitive debate”, “Parliamentary debate”, or “Oxford debate”. These are some of the styles of debate you might encounter.
1-2. Keep calm.
When you debate, stay calm. Don’t start shouting or get angry. This will show weakness to your opponent. Instead, keep your voice even and keep your facial expression neutral. This makes it much harder for your opponent to find what buttons they can press to make you trip up.
If you’re having trouble staying calm, try focusing on your breathing for a minute or two.
1-3. Speak clearly.
When you talk, speak clearly so that people can understand you. Speaking clearly also makes you sound smarter and more confident. Speak clearly by using a loud enough volume that people can hear you and then enunciate your words. Don’t mumble or slur your words but say each word deliberately and say each syllable carefully.
It’s easy to catch poor enunciation when reciting tongue twisters. Try this one: “How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?”
1-4. Explain your logic.
When you explain to someone how you arrived at the conclusion that you came to, deliberately and step by step, you’re forcing their brain to think in the same way that yours does. As long as your reasoning is at least good on the surface, this can be one of the most effective ways to bring someone over to your side of the argument.
1-5. Be respectful and fair.
When you argue with someone, be respectful. Don’t insult them, talk over them, or judge them. Doing this can be seen as a sign that your argument isn’t very good, plus it makes people defensive and much less willing to listen to you or want to agree with you. You should also be fair in an argument. Don’t distort the facts. Use evidence against them that is recent and directly related, not old and “water under the bridge”.
A bad example of debating would look like: “Why should we listen to you? You broke the system last year when you were in charge of the project. You’d probably just ruin this too.”
A good example of debating would look like: “I know you’re really excited about this project but the situation is very sensitive. It would be better to use someone with more experience so that it can be done more efficiently.”
1-6. Act confident.
Although you don’t have to actually be confident, acting confident can make you and your argument much more appealing and believable. When you don’t act confident, you communicate (even if it’s not true) that you don’t think your argument is a very good one. You can do some simple, easy things to make yourself appear more confident, though. Make eye contact with your opponent, as well as people in your audience if you have one. Don’t fidget, instead using your hands to talk or keep them pinned in front of you. Speak clearly and with purpose, avoiding filler language like “umm” and “ahh”. Just a few adjustments will have you seeming much more sure of yourself.
2. Choosing Your Arguments
2-1. Use arguments based on logic.
Arguments based on logic, sometimes referred to as “logos” in the study of arguing, use examples and ideas which are rooted in simple, direct reasoning. These kinds of arguments are especially helpful when debating with someone who considers themselves smart and logical. They are also good for topics that are “serious” in nature, like politics and economics.
Try to use facts, statistics, and real life examples to make logical arguments.
An example argument would be: “Evidence has shown that rates of teen pregnancy have decreased as more comprehensive sex education has become mandatory in schools. You can see in this chart….”
2-2. Use arguments based on emotions.
Arguments based on emotions, sometimes referred to as “pathos” in the study of arguing, use appeals to people’s heart and emotions. These kinds of arguments are especially helpful when debating with someone who is prone to strong emotions (showing heightened joy and easily visible sadness). They are also good for topics that are “human” in nature, like arguments about social justice, discrimination, or current events with great tolls on society (like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict).
Try to draw on people’s hopes and fears. Use personal stories and try to make a personal connection with either your opponent or your audience by comparing the situation to something that is close to them.
An example argument would be: “Backing out now would pose an infinitely greater danger to us than if we stayed and tried to fix the problem. Untold lives could be lost if we leave but if we stay, then we can save lives.”
2-3. Use arguments based on authority.
Arguments based on authority, sometimes referred to as “ethos” in the study of arguing, use appeals to your authority and credibility or that of another who supports your ideas. These kinds of arguments are especially helpful when debating with someone who is not as experienced in the field or who has a particularly weak argument. They are also good for topics that are “academic” in nature, like arguments about medicine, science, or history.
Try to establish your credentials and elaborate on your experience when using arguments like these. Make sure ahead of time that your opponent is not significantly more experienced than you.
An example argument would be: “I’ve taught for over 30 years and I’ve seen all of these practices first hand. I know what works in the field and what doesn’t. Ideals and real life are two very different things.”
3. Winning a Debate
3-1. Do your research.
The more prepared you are for a debate, the better you'll do. If you really want to guarantee a win as much as possible, do your research. When you know a topic backwards and forwards and from all angles, you'll be much better prepared to counter any argument your opponent might dream up. It's especially important to know the most common arguments for and against both sides of the issue. When you know what your opponent is likely to emphasize, you'll be able to explain why that's wrong.
Avoid making websites like Wikipedia your main source of information. It's a good place to start but you should fill in your facts from sources that are experts in whatever topic you're trying to cover. For example, if you're going to debate about economics, don't quote a Wikipedia fact. Quote Alberto Alesina, one of the economics professors at Harvard and co-editor of a major academic journal on the topic.
3-2. Look for logical fallacies.
Logical fallacies are when the line of reasoning that someone uses is wrong. Even though the conclusion might be right, the way of getting there is wrong. This can be used to shed doubt on their conclusion, making your argument look better. There are lots of different kinds of logical fallacies and you'll want to study each one individually in order to learn to recognize and counter it. By pointing out logical fallacies in your opponent's argument, you force them to either accept them and reduce the credibility of their argument, or use their precious time to try and argue that their argument isn't illogical.
One of the most common examples of a logical fallacy is called "ad hominem", and is about attacking the person making the argument rather than the argument itself. This is often seen in politics. Think of it like "this guy is a jerk" vs. "there is no evidence that this plan will work".
Another common logical fallacy is called "black or white". This is when an argument is presented as having only two options, with the outcome they want being presented as the best one. This ignores middle ground and other routes, which may make more sense. Think of it like when you mom says, "You can get married and have children or you can die old and alone." There's probably some wiggle room in there, right?
3-3. Look for weaknesses in their argument.
There are lots of ways in which someone's argument can be weak. If you find those weaknesses, you can point them out, making your argument look stronger by comparison. Try:
Look for places where they've not thought their course of action through to its logical conclusion. An example of this is the recent Supreme Court decision that companies can have a religion and that employees should be subject to the rules of that religion. That's maybe more acceptable if the company is traditional Christian than if it's outrageous Pastafarians, right?
Another sign of a weak argument is if they skim over a crucial point and use very little evidence to back it up. This is usually an indication that there is no evidence and they're mainly drawing the conclusion that they want to draw. For example, someone arguing that guns prevent mass shootings and only using one example in favor of their argument is clearly missing how many examples go in the opposite direction. You want to lock in on that and talk about the evidence they passed over.
3-4. Keep the topic on track.
This is when your opponent starts arguing about a subject separate from the topic you're supposed to be debating. When a debate gets off track, that can be a sign that your opponent is running out of solid reasoning and beginning to break down. Keep an argument on track and you'll be more likely to win. Ask yourself if the current argument ties directly back to the topic you're supposed to be dealing with. If it doesn't support one side or the other, the argument is off track.
An example of this would be if you are arguing about whether guns prevent mass shootings and they start arguing that anyone that doesn't like guns is racist.
Be forceful in turning the argument around. Call them out for changing the topic. This will point the behavior out to your audience and can make you look more confident and correct.
Tips
Do not ask "what if" questions. That's an ancient debate tactic called baiting. And most debaters do not fall for the bait.
If you are debating on a team, be careful not to make any arguments which will contradict your teammate's argument, or otherwise place a burden on them.
Debating is not about convincing your opponent that they are wrong. It is about convincing your audience that your position is much more logical than your opponent's, and showing them information that they mightn't have known before.
Warnings
Avoid using profanities or any other offensive words. They will not prove your points. They will only distract and offend the audience.
Make sure all of your presented facts are correct.
Do not only provoke debates, at all. Your arguments only hold merit if your opponent is willing to debate, and the audience is willing to listen. Which means, you should not go into public debates, and start random debates with strangers. They most likely will not know you are just trying to debate for sport and will take it as a personal attack. If you do wish to debate, join a debate club, it will be a great idea.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating Effectively\\n1-1. Follow the form, if debating formally\\nIf you’re going to be debating in a formal setting, such as for a class or for a club, you’ll want to be sure you know how a debate actually works. Formal debates follow a formula, and you’ll want to know that formula like the back of your hand so that you’re prepared. It’s also important because breaking from the formula can lose you points.\\nUsually there is a statement and two or more teams or single debaters will be assigned to either agree or disagree with the idea. You’ll then take turns making your points according to a set period of time.\\nThere are a couple of different debate styles (which determine the rules and how the debate works), so you’ll need to know which one you’re using in order to be clear on the rules. It’s a good idea to look into this well in advance and do some research online. Look for words like “competitive debate”, “Parliamentary debate”, or “Oxford debate”. These are some of the styles of debate you might encounter.\\n1-2. Keep calm.\\nWhen you debate, stay calm. Don’t start shouting or get angry. This will show weakness to your opponent. Instead, keep your voice even and keep your facial expression neutral. This makes it much harder for your opponent to find what buttons they can press to make you trip up.\\nIf you’re having trouble staying calm, try focusing on your breathing for a minute or two.\\n1-3. Speak clearly.\\nWhen you talk, speak clearly so that people can understand you. Speaking clearly also makes you sound smarter and more confident. Speak clearly by using a loud enough volume that people can hear you and then enunciate your words. Don’t mumble or slur your words but say each word deliberately and say each syllable carefully.\\nIt’s easy to catch poor enunciation when reciting tongue twisters. Try this one: “How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?”\\n1-4. Explain your logic.\\nWhen you explain to someone how you arrived at the conclusion that you came to, deliberately and step by step, you’re forcing their brain to think in the same way that yours does. As long as your reasoning is at least good on the surface, this can be one of the most effective ways to bring someone over to your side of the argument.\\n1-5. Be respectful and fair.\\nWhen you argue with someone, be respectful. Don’t insult them, talk over them, or judge them. Doing this can be seen as a sign that your argument isn’t very good, plus it makes people defensive and much less willing to listen to you or want to agree with you. You should also be fair in an argument. Don’t distort the facts. Use evidence against them that is recent and directly related, not old and “water under the bridge”.\\nA bad example of debating would look like: “Why should we listen to you? You broke the system last year when you were in charge of the project. You’d probably just ruin this too.”\\nA good example of debating would look like: “I know you’re really excited about this project but the situation is very sensitive. It would be better to use someone with more experience so that it can be done more efficiently.”\\n1-6. Act confident.\\nAlthough you don’t have to actually be confident, acting confident can make you and your argument much more appealing and believable. When you don’t act confident, you communicate (even if it’s not true) that you don’t think your argument is a very good one. You can do some simple, easy things to make yourself appear more confident, though. Make eye contact with your opponent, as well as people in your audience if you have one. Don’t fidget, instead using your hands to talk or keep them pinned in front of you. Speak clearly and with purpose, avoiding filler language like “umm” and “ahh”. Just a few adjustments will have you seeming much more sure of yourself.\\n2. Choosing Your Arguments\\n2-1. Use arguments based on logic.\\nArguments based on logic, sometimes referred to as “logos” in the study of arguing, use examples and ideas which are rooted in simple, direct reasoning. These kinds of arguments are especially helpful when debating with someone who considers themselves smart and logical. They are also good for topics that are “serious” in nature, like politics and economics.\\nTry to use facts, statistics, and real life examples to make logical arguments.\\nAn example argument would be: “Evidence has shown that rates of teen pregnancy have decreased as more comprehensive sex education has become mandatory in schools. You can see in this chart….”\\n2-2. Use arguments based on emotions.\\nArguments based on emotions, sometimes referred to as “pathos” in the study of arguing, use appeals to people’s heart and emotions. These kinds of arguments are especially helpful when debating with someone who is prone to strong emotions (showing heightened joy and easily visible sadness). They are also good for topics that are “human” in nature, like arguments about social justice, discrimination, or current events with great tolls on society (like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict).\\nTry to draw on people’s hopes and fears. Use personal stories and try to make a personal connection with either your opponent or your audience by comparing the situation to something that is close to them.\\nAn example argument would be: “Backing out now would pose an infinitely greater danger to us than if we stayed and tried to fix the problem. Untold lives could be lost if we leave but if we stay, then we can save lives.”\\n2-3. Use arguments based on authority.\\nArguments based on authority, sometimes referred to as “ethos” in the study of arguing, use appeals to your authority and credibility or that of another who supports your ideas. These kinds of arguments are especially helpful when debating with someone who is not as experienced in the field or who has a particularly weak argument. They are also good for topics that are “academic” in nature, like arguments about medicine, science, or history.\\nTry to establish your credentials and elaborate on your experience when using arguments like these. Make sure ahead of time that your opponent is not significantly more experienced than you.\\nAn example argument would be: “I’ve taught for over 30 years and I’ve seen all of these practices first hand. I know what works in the field and what doesn’t. Ideals and real life are two very different things.”\\n3. Winning a Debate\\n3-1. Do your research.\\nThe more prepared you are for a debate, the better you'll do. If you really want to guarantee a win as much as possible, do your research. When you know a topic backwards and forwards and from all angles, you'll be much better prepared to counter any argument your opponent might dream up. It's especially important to know the most common arguments for and against both sides of the issue. When you know what your opponent is likely to emphasize, you'll be able to explain why that's wrong.\\nAvoid making websites like Wikipedia your main source of information. It's a good place to start but you should fill in your facts from sources that are experts in whatever topic you're trying to cover. For example, if you're going to debate about economics, don't quote a Wikipedia fact. Quote Alberto Alesina, one of the economics professors at Harvard and co-editor of a major academic journal on the topic.\\n3-2. Look for logical fallacies.\\nLogical fallacies are when the line of reasoning that someone uses is wrong. Even though the conclusion might be right, the way of getting there is wrong. This can be used to shed doubt on their conclusion, making your argument look better. There are lots of different kinds of logical fallacies and you'll want to study each one individually in order to learn to recognize and counter it. By pointing out logical fallacies in your opponent's argument, you force them to either accept them and reduce the credibility of their argument, or use their precious time to try and argue that their argument isn't illogical.\\nOne of the most common examples of a logical fallacy is called \\\"ad hominem\\\", and is about attacking the person making the argument rather than the argument itself. This is often seen in politics. Think of it like \\\"this guy is a jerk\\\" vs. \\\"there is no evidence that this plan will work\\\".\\nAnother common logical fallacy is called \\\"black or white\\\". This is when an argument is presented as having only two options, with the outcome they want being presented as the best one. This ignores middle ground and other routes, which may make more sense. Think of it like when you mom says, \\\"You can get married and have children or you can die old and alone.\\\" There's probably some wiggle room in there, right?\\n3-3. Look for weaknesses in their argument.\\nThere are lots of ways in which someone's argument can be weak. If you find those weaknesses, you can point them out, making your argument look stronger by comparison. Try:\\nLook for places where they've not thought their course of action through to its logical conclusion. An example of this is the recent Supreme Court decision that companies can have a religion and that employees should be subject to the rules of that religion. That's maybe more acceptable if the company is traditional Christian than if it's outrageous Pastafarians, right?\\nAnother sign of a weak argument is if they skim over a crucial point and use very little evidence to back it up. This is usually an indication that there is no evidence and they're mainly drawing the conclusion that they want to draw. For example, someone arguing that guns prevent mass shootings and only using one example in favor of their argument is clearly missing how many examples go in the opposite direction. You want to lock in on that and talk about the evidence they passed over.\\n3-4. Keep the topic on track.\\nThis is when your opponent starts arguing about a subject separate from the topic you're supposed to be debating. When a debate gets off track, that can be a sign that your opponent is running out of solid reasoning and beginning to break down. Keep an argument on track and you'll be more likely to win. Ask yourself if the current argument ties directly back to the topic you're supposed to be dealing with. If it doesn't support one side or the other, the argument is off track.\\nAn example of this would be if you are arguing about whether guns prevent mass shootings and they start arguing that anyone that doesn't like guns is racist.\\nBe forceful in turning the argument around. Call them out for changing the topic. This will point the behavior out to your audience and can make you look more confident and correct.\\nTips\\nDo not ask \\\"what if\\\" questions. That's an ancient debate tactic called baiting. And most debaters do not fall for the bait.\\nIf you are debating on a team, be careful not to make any arguments which will contradict your teammate's argument, or otherwise place a burden on them.\\nDebating is not about convincing your opponent that they are wrong. It is about convincing your audience that your position is much more logical than your opponent's, and showing them information that they mightn't have known before.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid using profanities or any other offensive words. They will not prove your points. They will only distract and offend the audience.\\nMake sure all of your presented facts are correct.\\nDo not only provoke debates, at all. Your arguments only hold merit if your opponent is willing to debate, and the audience is willing to listen. Which means, you should not go into public debates, and start random debates with strangers. They most likely will not know you are just trying to debate for sport and will take it as a personal attack. If you do wish to debate, join a debate club, it will be a great idea.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It doesn't matter whether you're debating from a podium or you're just fighting with your mom at home: a few simple rules apply to arguing like a pro. When you use effective communication, a well-placed argument, and really pay attention to what your opponent is saying, you can make just about any opinion sound like the right one.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating Effectively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow the form, if debating formally\", \"描述\": \"If you’re going to be debating in a formal setting, such as for a class or for a club, you’ll want to be sure you know how a debate actually works. Formal debates follow a formula, and you’ll want to know that formula like the back of your hand so that you’re prepared. It’s also important because breaking from the formula can lose you points.\\nUsually there is a statement and two or more teams or single debaters will be assigned to either agree or disagree with the idea. You’ll then take turns making your points according to a set period of time.\\nThere are a couple of different debate styles (which determine the rules and how the debate works), so you’ll need to know which one you’re using in order to be clear on the rules. It’s a good idea to look into this well in advance and do some research online. Look for words like “competitive debate”, “Parliamentary debate”, or “Oxford debate”. These are some of the styles of debate you might encounter.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep calm.\", \"描述\": \"When you debate, stay calm. Don’t start shouting or get angry. This will show weakness to your opponent. Instead, keep your voice even and keep your facial expression neutral. This makes it much harder for your opponent to find what buttons they can press to make you trip up.\\nIf you’re having trouble staying calm, try focusing on your breathing for a minute or two.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak clearly.\", \"描述\": \"When you talk, speak clearly so that people can understand you. Speaking clearly also makes you sound smarter and more confident. Speak clearly by using a loud enough volume that people can hear you and then enunciate your words. Don’t mumble or slur your words but say each word deliberately and say each syllable carefully.\\nIt’s easy to catch poor enunciation when reciting tongue twisters. Try this one: “How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain your logic.\", \"描述\": \"When you explain to someone how you arrived at the conclusion that you came to, deliberately and step by step, you’re forcing their brain to think in the same way that yours does. As long as your reasoning is at least good on the surface, this can be one of the most effective ways to bring someone over to your side of the argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be respectful and fair.\", \"描述\": \"When you argue with someone, be respectful. Don’t insult them, talk over them, or judge them. Doing this can be seen as a sign that your argument isn’t very good, plus it makes people defensive and much less willing to listen to you or want to agree with you. You should also be fair in an argument. Don’t distort the facts. Use evidence against them that is recent and directly related, not old and “water under the bridge”.\\nA bad example of debating would look like: “Why should we listen to you? You broke the system last year when you were in charge of the project. You’d probably just ruin this too.”\\nA good example of debating would look like: “I know you’re really excited about this project but the situation is very sensitive. It would be better to use someone with more experience so that it can be done more efficiently.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Act confident.\", \"描述\": \"Although you don’t have to actually be confident, acting confident can make you and your argument much more appealing and believable. When you don’t act confident, you communicate (even if it’s not true) that you don’t think your argument is a very good one. You can do some simple, easy things to make yourself appear more confident, though. Make eye contact with your opponent, as well as people in your audience if you have one. Don’t fidget, instead using your hands to talk or keep them pinned in front of you. Speak clearly and with purpose, avoiding filler language like “umm” and “ahh”. Just a few adjustments will have you seeming much more sure of yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choosing Your Arguments\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use arguments based on logic.\", \"描述\": \"Arguments based on logic, sometimes referred to as “logos” in the study of arguing, use examples and ideas which are rooted in simple, direct reasoning. These kinds of arguments are especially helpful when debating with someone who considers themselves smart and logical. They are also good for topics that are “serious” in nature, like politics and economics.\\nTry to use facts, statistics, and real life examples to make logical arguments.\\nAn example argument would be: “Evidence has shown that rates of teen pregnancy have decreased as more comprehensive sex education has become mandatory in schools. You can see in this chart….”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use arguments based on emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Arguments based on emotions, sometimes referred to as “pathos” in the study of arguing, use appeals to people’s heart and emotions. These kinds of arguments are especially helpful when debating with someone who is prone to strong emotions (showing heightened joy and easily visible sadness). They are also good for topics that are “human” in nature, like arguments about social justice, discrimination, or current events with great tolls on society (like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict).\\nTry to draw on people’s hopes and fears. Use personal stories and try to make a personal connection with either your opponent or your audience by comparing the situation to something that is close to them.\\nAn example argument would be: “Backing out now would pose an infinitely greater danger to us than if we stayed and tried to fix the problem. Untold lives could be lost if we leave but if we stay, then we can save lives.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use arguments based on authority.\", \"描述\": \"Arguments based on authority, sometimes referred to as “ethos” in the study of arguing, use appeals to your authority and credibility or that of another who supports your ideas. These kinds of arguments are especially helpful when debating with someone who is not as experienced in the field or who has a particularly weak argument. They are also good for topics that are “academic” in nature, like arguments about medicine, science, or history.\\nTry to establish your credentials and elaborate on your experience when using arguments like these. Make sure ahead of time that your opponent is not significantly more experienced than you.\\nAn example argument would be: “I’ve taught for over 30 years and I’ve seen all of these practices first hand. I know what works in the field and what doesn’t. Ideals and real life are two very different things.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Winning a Debate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your research.\", \"描述\": \"The more prepared you are for a debate, the better you'll do. If you really want to guarantee a win as much as possible, do your research. When you know a topic backwards and forwards and from all angles, you'll be much better prepared to counter any argument your opponent might dream up. It's especially important to know the most common arguments for and against both sides of the issue. When you know what your opponent is likely to emphasize, you'll be able to explain why that's wrong.\\nAvoid making websites like Wikipedia your main source of information. It's a good place to start but you should fill in your facts from sources that are experts in whatever topic you're trying to cover. For example, if you're going to debate about economics, don't quote a Wikipedia fact. Quote Alberto Alesina, one of the economics professors at Harvard and co-editor of a major academic journal on the topic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look for logical fallacies.\", \"描述\": \"Logical fallacies are when the line of reasoning that someone uses is wrong. Even though the conclusion might be right, the way of getting there is wrong. This can be used to shed doubt on their conclusion, making your argument look better. There are lots of different kinds of logical fallacies and you'll want to study each one individually in order to learn to recognize and counter it. By pointing out logical fallacies in your opponent's argument, you force them to either accept them and reduce the credibility of their argument, or use their precious time to try and argue that their argument isn't illogical.\\nOne of the most common examples of a logical fallacy is called \\\"ad hominem\\\", and is about attacking the person making the argument rather than the argument itself. This is often seen in politics. Think of it like \\\"this guy is a jerk\\\" vs. \\\"there is no evidence that this plan will work\\\".\\nAnother common logical fallacy is called \\\"black or white\\\". This is when an argument is presented as having only two options, with the outcome they want being presented as the best one. This ignores middle ground and other routes, which may make more sense. Think of it like when you mom says, \\\"You can get married and have children or you can die old and alone.\\\" There's probably some wiggle room in there, right?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look for weaknesses in their argument.\", \"描述\": \"There are lots of ways in which someone's argument can be weak. If you find those weaknesses, you can point them out, making your argument look stronger by comparison. Try:\\nLook for places where they've not thought their course of action through to its logical conclusion. An example of this is the recent Supreme Court decision that companies can have a religion and that employees should be subject to the rules of that religion. That's maybe more acceptable if the company is traditional Christian than if it's outrageous Pastafarians, right?\\nAnother sign of a weak argument is if they skim over a crucial point and use very little evidence to back it up. This is usually an indication that there is no evidence and they're mainly drawing the conclusion that they want to draw. For example, someone arguing that guns prevent mass shootings and only using one example in favor of their argument is clearly missing how many examples go in the opposite direction. You want to lock in on that and talk about the evidence they passed over.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep the topic on track.\", \"描述\": \"This is when your opponent starts arguing about a subject separate from the topic you're supposed to be debating. When a debate gets off track, that can be a sign that your opponent is running out of solid reasoning and beginning to break down. Keep an argument on track and you'll be more likely to win. Ask yourself if the current argument ties directly back to the topic you're supposed to be dealing with. If it doesn't support one side or the other, the argument is off track.\\nAn example of this would be if you are arguing about whether guns prevent mass shootings and they start arguing that anyone that doesn't like guns is racist.\\nBe forceful in turning the argument around. Call them out for changing the topic. This will point the behavior out to your audience and can make you look more confident and correct.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do not ask \\\"what if\\\" questions. That's an ancient debate tactic called baiting. And most debaters do not fall for the bait.\\n\", \"If you are debating on a team, be careful not to make any arguments which will contradict your teammate's argument, or otherwise place a burden on them.\\n\", \"Debating is not about convincing your opponent that they are wrong. It is about convincing your audience that your position is much more logical than your opponent's, and showing them information that they mightn't have known before.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid using profanities or any other offensive words. They will not prove your points. They will only distract and offend the audience.\\n\", \"Make sure all of your presented facts are correct.\\n\", \"Do not only provoke debates, at all. Your arguments only hold merit if your opponent is willing to debate, and the audience is willing to listen. Which means, you should not go into public debates, and start random debates with strangers. They most likely will not know you are just trying to debate for sport and will take it as a personal attack. If you do wish to debate, join a debate club, it will be a great idea.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,436 |
How to Be a Good Dog Owner
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1. Protecting Your Dog’s Health
1-1. Take your dog to the veterinarian for initial shots and an annual check-up.
Regular veterinary care is essential to protect your dog’s health, so good dog owners take their dogs to the vet at least once per year for a checkup and make sure their dogs are up to date on their shots. When you first get your dog, you should take him to the veterinarian for his first check-up and initial shots as well. Then, make sure that you take your dog to the veterinarian once per year for a checkup and updates on shots.
Observe your dog for signs of a health issue. Being a good dog owner also means taking your dog to the veterinarian right away if you suspect that he is having a health issue. If you notice that your dog seems sick or that his behavior has changed, schedule an appointment with your veterinarian right away to find out what is going on.
1-2. Administer flea, tick, and heartworm prevention medications as needed.
Flea, tick, and heartworm medications are necessary to protect your dog from preventable health problems. Make sure that you administer these medications as recommended by your veterinarian along with any other medications that your veterinarian prescribes for your dog.
1-3. Spay or neuter your dog.
This helps stem the tide of companion-animal overpopulation. Spaying female dogs reduces the stress and discomfort endured during heat cycles, eliminates the risk of uterine cancer, and greatly reduces the risk of mammary cancer. Neutering makes male dogs much less likely to roam or fight and prevents the small risk of testicular cancer.
However, simply calming your dog during her heats, having a fence, supervising your dog and training them properly can reduce or eliminate many of these behaviour-related concerns.
Alternative options are available, too, such as vasectomy, neutering, tubal ligation and ovary-sparing spay (OSS). While harder to come by, they come with less long term health risks than spaying and neutering. Spaying and neutering comes with many associated health risks such as different types of cancers, orthopedic disorders and cardiac hemangiosarcoma.
You'll need to keep your dog relaxed and prevent it from licking its wound while it heals from its surgery, but your pup should bounce back relatively quickly!
1-4. License your dog
Getting your dog licensed and purchasing dog tags for him/her is important in case he/she ever runs away or gets lost. It doesn’t cost much to license your dog and in most states you are required to license your dog and keep his/her tags on his/her collar at all times. Not doing so may cost you up to $250. Your dog’s tags should include his name, and your phone number or street address.
You may also consider microchipping your dog to increase your chances of finding him/her if he/she runs away or gets lost. Your veterinarian can inject a microchip with a tracking number on it that can be scanned in the event that your dog gets lost and ends up in a shelter.
2. Grooming Your Dog
2-1. Wash your dog
If your dog has short hair, give your dog a bath once every three months. If your dog has long hair, you may need to bathe him/her more often. To wash your dog, wet all of your dog’s fur with a spray hose or a pitcher, but do not wet the areas around his/her eyes, ears, and nose. Then, massage some shampoo into your dog’s fur. After you have worked the shampoo into a lather, rinse out all of the shampoo. The water should run clear and without suds. Then, dry him/her off with a towel.
Don’t use human shampoo on your dog, because some ingredients in human products can be irritating to dogs. Use a special dog shampoo when you wash your dog.
Offer your dog plenty of praise and a treat after baths to help him/her develop positive feelings about bath time.
2-2. Brush your dog.
If your dog has short hair, you may only need to brush him/her once a week. If your dog has long hair, you will need to brush him/her every day in order to avoid tangled and matted fur. Use a wide comb to help remove tangles before moving on to a brush. Make sure that you offer your dog lots of praise while you brush him/her and give him/her a treat when you are finished so that he/she will be willing to let you brush him/her on a regular basis.
2-3. Clip your dog's nails.
To clip your dog’s nails, you will need to get a special nail clipper for dogs. You can purchase dog nail clippers in a pet store. You may also need to get your dog used to you handling his nails before you try to clip them. If your dog is wary of you touching his/her feet and nails, help him/her get used to it by petting his/her feet and touching his/her toes. Give him/her praise and a treat when he/she lets you touch his/her toes. After he/she becomes more comfortable with you touching his/her feet, you can try to clip his/her nails.
Make sure that you do not cut too far down or you may hit the quick of his/her nail. This area is very sensitive and may cause bleeding.
If you are concerned about hurting your dog while trimming his/her nails, ask your vet to show you how or have a professional groomer trim your dog’s nails for you.
2-4. Brush your dog’s teeth.
Brushing your dog’s teeth can help to prevent problems with tooth decay and gum disease as your dog ages. If your dog has bad breath, it may indicate that there is excess bacteria causing a problem. Take your dog to have his/her teeth cleaned by a veterinarian and then follow your veterinarian’s instructions for cleaning his/her teeth.
You can use a child’s toothbrush, a gauze pad, or even a bit of nylon stretched over your finger to clean your dog’s teeth. Make sure that you use a special dog toothpaste or mix some baking soda with a bit of water to form a paste.
2-5. Inspect your dog for problems during grooming times.
Grooming time is a good time to check your dog for fleas, ticks, and other potential health problems. Make sure that you inspect your dog’s skin for any unusual growths, wounds, or tender areas. You should also check your dog’s ears for excessive wax buildup and foul odors. If you find anything that seems abnormal, schedule an appointment with your veterinarian as soon as possible.
3. Feeding Your Dog
3-1. Understand your dog’s dietary requirements.
The amount and frequency of your dog’s feedings will depend on the age and size of your dog. Talk to your veterinarian if you are unsure about how much you should be feeding your dog. In general, adult dogs only need to be fed once per day and the amount they need is based on their weight. You can usually find weight charts on dog food packages that indicate how much food your dog needs each day.
Keep in mind that dogs under the age of one will need to be fed more frequently. Puppies from 8-12 weeks old need to be fed four times per day. They also require special puppy food. Check with your veterinarian to be sure that you are giving your dog the right type and amount of food every day.
Larger dog breeds need special large-breed dog food while they're growing so they get all of the nutrients they need.
In general, look for dog food that contains ingredients you can easily pronounce since it will be less likely to have unhealthy additives and other ingredients.
3-2. Make sure your dog always has access to fresh clean water.
Dogs need plenty of fresh clean water to drink every day. Your dog may need more water if he has been exercising or if the weather is hot. Make sure to provide a bowl of water that your dog can access easily. Refill it if the water gets low, and change the water daily.
3-3. Give treats for good behavior.
It’s nice to indulge your dog with a treat now and then to show that you care about him/her. Treats can be used to reward good behavior as well. Reward your dog with a treat every day, such as a homemade dog biscuit or a store-bought rawhide bone.
4. Exercising Your Dog
4-1. Walk your dog every day.
Dogs require daily exercise to be healthy and happy. Walking your dog every day is great way to help your dog get the exercise he/she needs. Your dog’s exercise needs will vary based on his/her breed, which means that some dogs will be content with a quick walk around the neighborhood, while others will require at least an hour of walking every day.
Consider your dog’s energy level to determine how much and how often you should be walking him/her.
4-2. Play with your dog.
Since not all dogs can do what they were bred to do, such as hunt or dig, it is important to play with them every day to keep them from forming destructive behaviors. Take your dog outside every day for a game of fetch or play tug of war with a special rope toy. Just make sure that you are doing something to stimulate your dog’s body and mind every day to prevent boredom.
4-3. Give your dog plenty of opportunities to go outside.
In addition to daily walks and playtime, your dog may benefit from freedom to go outside a few times every day. An enclosed backyard or a long line are ideal so that your dog can run and explore his/her domain. If you let your dog out and do not join him/her outside, make sure to check on him/her from time to time.
If your dog often spends time outside during the warmer months, make sure that he/she has a shady place to get out of the sun and plenty of fresh, clean water and food.
5. Training Your Dog
5-1. Consider enrolling your dog in an obedience course.
Good dog owners put in the time and effort that is needed to train their dog basic commands. An obedience course can help you teach your dog some basic obedience skills such as sit, stay, and lay down. Going through an obedience course with your dog can also help you to build a better bond with your dog, which will benefit both of you.
You may also consider working one-on-one with a certified professional dog trainer. This is a good option if your dog is not a big fan of other dogs and people, or if you just want more attention and help from the trainer.
5-2. Keep training sessions short and regular.
For the best results, train your dog in short sessions and repeat the sessions regularly. One way that you can train is by doing 5-15 repetitions of a behavior, such as teaching your dog to sit. Then, switch to a different behavior, and then another. Do these repetitions during one 15 minute session every day. Keeping training sessions short will help your dog pay attention. The frequency of your training sessions will help reinforce what you want your dog to learn.
5-3. Use positive reinforcement.
To teach your dog to do what you want him/her to do, it is important to reward his/her good behavior as soon as he does it. For example, if you ask you dog to sit and he/she does, praise and pet him/her right away so that your dog knows that he/she did something good. Try to reward your dog whenever he/she does good things so that he/she knows that these are the behaviors you like.
5-4. Ignore bad behavior.
Teach your dog to stop doing bad behaviors by ignoring him/her when he/she is naughty. For example, if your dog wants to go for a walk and he/she is jumping on you to let you know, ignore him/her and wait until he/she stops jumping. When he/she stops and stands still, put on his/her leash and take him/her for a walk. Repeat this process every time you walk your dog to help him/her understand that you do not want him/her to jump. He/she will learn that jumping up and down does not lead to a walk, but standing still does.
Never hit or scream at your dog if he/she does something bad. Punishing your dog in this way does not solve the problem and it may even make the problem worse.
Consult an animal behaviorist or certified professional dog trainer if you are having problems with training your dog.
6. Loving Your Dog
6-1. Provide your dog with plenty of toys.
Good dog owners make sure that their dogs have toys to play with. Make sure that your dog has plenty of toys to keep him stimulated and happy. Some good options are chew toys, squeaky toys, rope toys, frisbees, and tennis balls. Find out what your dog likes best and make sure he/she has some favorite toys to play with at all times.
6-2. Give your dog a soft spot to sleep every night.
Good dog owners don’t make their dogs sleep on the bare floor or outside in the cold. Make sure that you invest in a nice soft doggy bed for your dog when you first get him/her and line it with a blanket. Wash the blanket regularly to keep it clean and dry. Keep your dog’s bed in a warm part of the house that is free from drafts.
6-3. Shower your dog with love and affection.
Dogs provide their humans with love, affection, and companionship, so why not return the favor? If you really want to be a good dog owner, make sure that you shower your dog with lots of love and affection. Pet him/her, praise him/her, and do nice things for him/her so that he/she knows that you care.
Tips
If you only have one dog, consider socializing your dog with other friendly dogs. Look into doggy day care or a well-maintained dog park as a way to give your dog opportunities to play with other dogs.
Do not over-exercise your dog. You could hurt them!
If you have an idea of getting a dog, consider adopting one from an animal shelter near you.
Warnings
Remember that having a dog is a serious, long-term commitment. If you are not prepared to care for an animal for all of its natural life (about 10-20 years) then do not get a dog.
Never leave your dog outside for extended periods of time. Dogs need and want to be around people.[25]
X
Trustworthy Source
The Humane Society of the United States
National organization devoted to the promotion of animal welfare
Go to source
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Protecting Your Dog’s Health\\n1-1. Take your dog to the veterinarian for initial shots and an annual check-up.\\nRegular veterinary care is essential to protect your dog’s health, so good dog owners take their dogs to the vet at least once per year for a checkup and make sure their dogs are up to date on their shots. When you first get your dog, you should take him to the veterinarian for his first check-up and initial shots as well. Then, make sure that you take your dog to the veterinarian once per year for a checkup and updates on shots.\\nObserve your dog for signs of a health issue. Being a good dog owner also means taking your dog to the veterinarian right away if you suspect that he is having a health issue. If you notice that your dog seems sick or that his behavior has changed, schedule an appointment with your veterinarian right away to find out what is going on.\\n1-2. Administer flea, tick, and heartworm prevention medications as needed.\\nFlea, tick, and heartworm medications are necessary to protect your dog from preventable health problems. Make sure that you administer these medications as recommended by your veterinarian along with any other medications that your veterinarian prescribes for your dog.\\n1-3. Spay or neuter your dog.\\nThis helps stem the tide of companion-animal overpopulation. Spaying female dogs reduces the stress and discomfort endured during heat cycles, eliminates the risk of uterine cancer, and greatly reduces the risk of mammary cancer. Neutering makes male dogs much less likely to roam or fight and prevents the small risk of testicular cancer.\\nHowever, simply calming your dog during her heats, having a fence, supervising your dog and training them properly can reduce or eliminate many of these behaviour-related concerns.\\nAlternative options are available, too, such as vasectomy, neutering, tubal ligation and ovary-sparing spay (OSS). While harder to come by, they come with less long term health risks than spaying and neutering. Spaying and neutering comes with many associated health risks such as different types of cancers, orthopedic disorders and cardiac hemangiosarcoma.\\nYou'll need to keep your dog relaxed and prevent it from licking its wound while it heals from its surgery, but your pup should bounce back relatively quickly!\\n1-4. License your dog\\nGetting your dog licensed and purchasing dog tags for him/her is important in case he/she ever runs away or gets lost. It doesn’t cost much to license your dog and in most states you are required to license your dog and keep his/her tags on his/her collar at all times. Not doing so may cost you up to $250. Your dog’s tags should include his name, and your phone number or street address.\\nYou may also consider microchipping your dog to increase your chances of finding him/her if he/she runs away or gets lost. Your veterinarian can inject a microchip with a tracking number on it that can be scanned in the event that your dog gets lost and ends up in a shelter.\\n2. Grooming Your Dog\\n2-1. Wash your dog\\nIf your dog has short hair, give your dog a bath once every three months. If your dog has long hair, you may need to bathe him/her more often. To wash your dog, wet all of your dog’s fur with a spray hose or a pitcher, but do not wet the areas around his/her eyes, ears, and nose. Then, massage some shampoo into your dog’s fur. After you have worked the shampoo into a lather, rinse out all of the shampoo. The water should run clear and without suds. Then, dry him/her off with a towel.\\nDon’t use human shampoo on your dog, because some ingredients in human products can be irritating to dogs. Use a special dog shampoo when you wash your dog.\\nOffer your dog plenty of praise and a treat after baths to help him/her develop positive feelings about bath time.\\n2-2. Brush your dog.\\nIf your dog has short hair, you may only need to brush him/her once a week. If your dog has long hair, you will need to brush him/her every day in order to avoid tangled and matted fur. Use a wide comb to help remove tangles before moving on to a brush. Make sure that you offer your dog lots of praise while you brush him/her and give him/her a treat when you are finished so that he/she will be willing to let you brush him/her on a regular basis.\\n2-3. Clip your dog's nails.\\nTo clip your dog’s nails, you will need to get a special nail clipper for dogs. You can purchase dog nail clippers in a pet store. You may also need to get your dog used to you handling his nails before you try to clip them. If your dog is wary of you touching his/her feet and nails, help him/her get used to it by petting his/her feet and touching his/her toes. Give him/her praise and a treat when he/she lets you touch his/her toes. After he/she becomes more comfortable with you touching his/her feet, you can try to clip his/her nails.\\nMake sure that you do not cut too far down or you may hit the quick of his/her nail. This area is very sensitive and may cause bleeding.\\nIf you are concerned about hurting your dog while trimming his/her nails, ask your vet to show you how or have a professional groomer trim your dog’s nails for you.\\n2-4. Brush your dog’s teeth.\\nBrushing your dog’s teeth can help to prevent problems with tooth decay and gum disease as your dog ages. If your dog has bad breath, it may indicate that there is excess bacteria causing a problem. Take your dog to have his/her teeth cleaned by a veterinarian and then follow your veterinarian’s instructions for cleaning his/her teeth.\\nYou can use a child’s toothbrush, a gauze pad, or even a bit of nylon stretched over your finger to clean your dog’s teeth. Make sure that you use a special dog toothpaste or mix some baking soda with a bit of water to form a paste.\\n2-5. Inspect your dog for problems during grooming times.\\nGrooming time is a good time to check your dog for fleas, ticks, and other potential health problems. Make sure that you inspect your dog’s skin for any unusual growths, wounds, or tender areas. You should also check your dog’s ears for excessive wax buildup and foul odors. If you find anything that seems abnormal, schedule an appointment with your veterinarian as soon as possible.\\n3. Feeding Your Dog\\n3-1. Understand your dog’s dietary requirements.\\nThe amount and frequency of your dog’s feedings will depend on the age and size of your dog. Talk to your veterinarian if you are unsure about how much you should be feeding your dog. In general, adult dogs only need to be fed once per day and the amount they need is based on their weight. You can usually find weight charts on dog food packages that indicate how much food your dog needs each day.\\nKeep in mind that dogs under the age of one will need to be fed more frequently. Puppies from 8-12 weeks old need to be fed four times per day. They also require special puppy food. Check with your veterinarian to be sure that you are giving your dog the right type and amount of food every day.\\nLarger dog breeds need special large-breed dog food while they're growing so they get all of the nutrients they need.\\nIn general, look for dog food that contains ingredients you can easily pronounce since it will be less likely to have unhealthy additives and other ingredients.\\n3-2. Make sure your dog always has access to fresh clean water.\\nDogs need plenty of fresh clean water to drink every day. Your dog may need more water if he has been exercising or if the weather is hot. Make sure to provide a bowl of water that your dog can access easily. Refill it if the water gets low, and change the water daily.\\n3-3. Give treats for good behavior.\\nIt’s nice to indulge your dog with a treat now and then to show that you care about him/her. Treats can be used to reward good behavior as well. Reward your dog with a treat every day, such as a homemade dog biscuit or a store-bought rawhide bone.\\n4. Exercising Your Dog\\n4-1. Walk your dog every day.\\nDogs require daily exercise to be healthy and happy. Walking your dog every day is great way to help your dog get the exercise he/she needs. Your dog’s exercise needs will vary based on his/her breed, which means that some dogs will be content with a quick walk around the neighborhood, while others will require at least an hour of walking every day.\\nConsider your dog’s energy level to determine how much and how often you should be walking him/her.\\n4-2. Play with your dog.\\nSince not all dogs can do what they were bred to do, such as hunt or dig, it is important to play with them every day to keep them from forming destructive behaviors. Take your dog outside every day for a game of fetch or play tug of war with a special rope toy. Just make sure that you are doing something to stimulate your dog’s body and mind every day to prevent boredom.\\n4-3. Give your dog plenty of opportunities to go outside.\\nIn addition to daily walks and playtime, your dog may benefit from freedom to go outside a few times every day. An enclosed backyard or a long line are ideal so that your dog can run and explore his/her domain. If you let your dog out and do not join him/her outside, make sure to check on him/her from time to time.\\nIf your dog often spends time outside during the warmer months, make sure that he/she has a shady place to get out of the sun and plenty of fresh, clean water and food.\\n5. Training Your Dog\\n5-1. Consider enrolling your dog in an obedience course.\\nGood dog owners put in the time and effort that is needed to train their dog basic commands. An obedience course can help you teach your dog some basic obedience skills such as sit, stay, and lay down. Going through an obedience course with your dog can also help you to build a better bond with your dog, which will benefit both of you.\\nYou may also consider working one-on-one with a certified professional dog trainer. This is a good option if your dog is not a big fan of other dogs and people, or if you just want more attention and help from the trainer.\\n5-2. Keep training sessions short and regular.\\nFor the best results, train your dog in short sessions and repeat the sessions regularly. One way that you can train is by doing 5-15 repetitions of a behavior, such as teaching your dog to sit. Then, switch to a different behavior, and then another. Do these repetitions during one 15 minute session every day. Keeping training sessions short will help your dog pay attention. The frequency of your training sessions will help reinforce what you want your dog to learn.\\n5-3. Use positive reinforcement.\\nTo teach your dog to do what you want him/her to do, it is important to reward his/her good behavior as soon as he does it. For example, if you ask you dog to sit and he/she does, praise and pet him/her right away so that your dog knows that he/she did something good. Try to reward your dog whenever he/she does good things so that he/she knows that these are the behaviors you like.\\n5-4. Ignore bad behavior.\\nTeach your dog to stop doing bad behaviors by ignoring him/her when he/she is naughty. For example, if your dog wants to go for a walk and he/she is jumping on you to let you know, ignore him/her and wait until he/she stops jumping. When he/she stops and stands still, put on his/her leash and take him/her for a walk. Repeat this process every time you walk your dog to help him/her understand that you do not want him/her to jump. He/she will learn that jumping up and down does not lead to a walk, but standing still does.\\nNever hit or scream at your dog if he/she does something bad. Punishing your dog in this way does not solve the problem and it may even make the problem worse.\\nConsult an animal behaviorist or certified professional dog trainer if you are having problems with training your dog.\\n6. Loving Your Dog\\n6-1. Provide your dog with plenty of toys.\\nGood dog owners make sure that their dogs have toys to play with. Make sure that your dog has plenty of toys to keep him stimulated and happy. Some good options are chew toys, squeaky toys, rope toys, frisbees, and tennis balls. Find out what your dog likes best and make sure he/she has some favorite toys to play with at all times.\\n6-2. Give your dog a soft spot to sleep every night.\\nGood dog owners don’t make their dogs sleep on the bare floor or outside in the cold. Make sure that you invest in a nice soft doggy bed for your dog when you first get him/her and line it with a blanket. Wash the blanket regularly to keep it clean and dry. Keep your dog’s bed in a warm part of the house that is free from drafts.\\n6-3. Shower your dog with love and affection.\\nDogs provide their humans with love, affection, and companionship, so why not return the favor? If you really want to be a good dog owner, make sure that you shower your dog with lots of love and affection. Pet him/her, praise him/her, and do nice things for him/her so that he/she knows that you care.\\nTips\\nIf you only have one dog, consider socializing your dog with other friendly dogs. Look into doggy day care or a well-maintained dog park as a way to give your dog opportunities to play with other dogs.\\nDo not over-exercise your dog. You could hurt them!\\nIf you have an idea of getting a dog, consider adopting one from an animal shelter near you.\\nWarnings\\nRemember that having a dog is a serious, long-term commitment. If you are not prepared to care for an animal for all of its natural life (about 10-20 years) then do not get a dog.\\nNever leave your dog outside for extended periods of time. Dogs need and want to be around people.[25]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nThe Humane Society of the United States\\nNational organization devoted to the promotion of animal welfare\\nGo to source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Seeing to your dog’s every need is a lot of work, but well worth the effort. If you want to be a good dog owner, there are some simple things that you do for your dog. Some of the things that good dog owners do include taking your dog for regular check-ups, giving your dog baths, providing plenty of fun toys for your dog, and teaching your dog some basic obedience commands. Being a good dog owner takes time and patience, but your dog will thank you with love and affection.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Protecting Your Dog’s Health\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take your dog to the veterinarian for initial shots and an annual check-up.\", \"描述\": \"Regular veterinary care is essential to protect your dog’s health, so good dog owners take their dogs to the vet at least once per year for a checkup and make sure their dogs are up to date on their shots. When you first get your dog, you should take him to the veterinarian for his first check-up and initial shots as well. Then, make sure that you take your dog to the veterinarian once per year for a checkup and updates on shots.\\nObserve your dog for signs of a health issue. Being a good dog owner also means taking your dog to the veterinarian right away if you suspect that he is having a health issue. If you notice that your dog seems sick or that his behavior has changed, schedule an appointment with your veterinarian right away to find out what is going on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Administer flea, tick, and heartworm prevention medications as needed.\", \"描述\": \"Flea, tick, and heartworm medications are necessary to protect your dog from preventable health problems. Make sure that you administer these medications as recommended by your veterinarian along with any other medications that your veterinarian prescribes for your dog.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spay or neuter your dog.\", \"描述\": \"This helps stem the tide of companion-animal overpopulation. Spaying female dogs reduces the stress and discomfort endured during heat cycles, eliminates the risk of uterine cancer, and greatly reduces the risk of mammary cancer. Neutering makes male dogs much less likely to roam or fight and prevents the small risk of testicular cancer.\\nHowever, simply calming your dog during her heats, having a fence, supervising your dog and training them properly can reduce or eliminate many of these behaviour-related concerns.\\nAlternative options are available, too, such as vasectomy, neutering, tubal ligation and ovary-sparing spay (OSS). While harder to come by, they come with less long term health risks than spaying and neutering. Spaying and neutering comes with many associated health risks such as different types of cancers, orthopedic disorders and cardiac hemangiosarcoma.\\nYou'll need to keep your dog relaxed and prevent it from licking its wound while it heals from its surgery, but your pup should bounce back relatively quickly!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"License your dog\", \"描述\": \"Getting your dog licensed and purchasing dog tags for him/her is important in case he/she ever runs away or gets lost. It doesn’t cost much to license your dog and in most states you are required to license your dog and keep his/her tags on his/her collar at all times. Not doing so may cost you up to $250. Your dog’s tags should include his name, and your phone number or street address.\\nYou may also consider microchipping your dog to increase your chances of finding him/her if he/she runs away or gets lost. Your veterinarian can inject a microchip with a tracking number on it that can be scanned in the event that your dog gets lost and ends up in a shelter.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Grooming Your Dog\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wash your dog\", \"描述\": \"If your dog has short hair, give your dog a bath once every three months. If your dog has long hair, you may need to bathe him/her more often. To wash your dog, wet all of your dog’s fur with a spray hose or a pitcher, but do not wet the areas around his/her eyes, ears, and nose. Then, massage some shampoo into your dog’s fur. After you have worked the shampoo into a lather, rinse out all of the shampoo. The water should run clear and without suds. Then, dry him/her off with a towel.\\nDon’t use human shampoo on your dog, because some ingredients in human products can be irritating to dogs. Use a special dog shampoo when you wash your dog.\\nOffer your dog plenty of praise and a treat after baths to help him/her develop positive feelings about bath time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Brush your dog.\", \"描述\": \"If your dog has short hair, you may only need to brush him/her once a week. If your dog has long hair, you will need to brush him/her every day in order to avoid tangled and matted fur. Use a wide comb to help remove tangles before moving on to a brush. Make sure that you offer your dog lots of praise while you brush him/her and give him/her a treat when you are finished so that he/she will be willing to let you brush him/her on a regular basis.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clip your dog's nails.\", \"描述\": \"To clip your dog’s nails, you will need to get a special nail clipper for dogs. You can purchase dog nail clippers in a pet store. You may also need to get your dog used to you handling his nails before you try to clip them. If your dog is wary of you touching his/her feet and nails, help him/her get used to it by petting his/her feet and touching his/her toes. Give him/her praise and a treat when he/she lets you touch his/her toes. After he/she becomes more comfortable with you touching his/her feet, you can try to clip his/her nails.\\nMake sure that you do not cut too far down or you may hit the quick of his/her nail. This area is very sensitive and may cause bleeding.\\nIf you are concerned about hurting your dog while trimming his/her nails, ask your vet to show you how or have a professional groomer trim your dog’s nails for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Brush your dog’s teeth.\", \"描述\": \"Brushing your dog’s teeth can help to prevent problems with tooth decay and gum disease as your dog ages. If your dog has bad breath, it may indicate that there is excess bacteria causing a problem. Take your dog to have his/her teeth cleaned by a veterinarian and then follow your veterinarian’s instructions for cleaning his/her teeth.\\nYou can use a child’s toothbrush, a gauze pad, or even a bit of nylon stretched over your finger to clean your dog’s teeth. Make sure that you use a special dog toothpaste or mix some baking soda with a bit of water to form a paste.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Inspect your dog for problems during grooming times.\", \"描述\": \"Grooming time is a good time to check your dog for fleas, ticks, and other potential health problems. Make sure that you inspect your dog’s skin for any unusual growths, wounds, or tender areas. You should also check your dog’s ears for excessive wax buildup and foul odors. If you find anything that seems abnormal, schedule an appointment with your veterinarian as soon as possible.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Feeding Your Dog\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand your dog’s dietary requirements.\", \"描述\": \"The amount and frequency of your dog’s feedings will depend on the age and size of your dog. Talk to your veterinarian if you are unsure about how much you should be feeding your dog. In general, adult dogs only need to be fed once per day and the amount they need is based on their weight. You can usually find weight charts on dog food packages that indicate how much food your dog needs each day.\\nKeep in mind that dogs under the age of one will need to be fed more frequently. Puppies from 8-12 weeks old need to be fed four times per day. They also require special puppy food. Check with your veterinarian to be sure that you are giving your dog the right type and amount of food every day.\\nLarger dog breeds need special large-breed dog food while they're growing so they get all of the nutrients they need.\\nIn general, look for dog food that contains ingredients you can easily pronounce since it will be less likely to have unhealthy additives and other ingredients.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure your dog always has access to fresh clean water.\", \"描述\": \"Dogs need plenty of fresh clean water to drink every day. Your dog may need more water if he has been exercising or if the weather is hot. Make sure to provide a bowl of water that your dog can access easily. Refill it if the water gets low, and change the water daily.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give treats for good behavior.\", \"描述\": \"It’s nice to indulge your dog with a treat now and then to show that you care about him/her. Treats can be used to reward good behavior as well. Reward your dog with a treat every day, such as a homemade dog biscuit or a store-bought rawhide bone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Exercising Your Dog\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Walk your dog every day.\", \"描述\": \"Dogs require daily exercise to be healthy and happy. Walking your dog every day is great way to help your dog get the exercise he/she needs. Your dog’s exercise needs will vary based on his/her breed, which means that some dogs will be content with a quick walk around the neighborhood, while others will require at least an hour of walking every day.\\nConsider your dog’s energy level to determine how much and how often you should be walking him/her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Play with your dog.\", \"描述\": \"Since not all dogs can do what they were bred to do, such as hunt or dig, it is important to play with them every day to keep them from forming destructive behaviors. Take your dog outside every day for a game of fetch or play tug of war with a special rope toy. Just make sure that you are doing something to stimulate your dog’s body and mind every day to prevent boredom.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give your dog plenty of opportunities to go outside.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to daily walks and playtime, your dog may benefit from freedom to go outside a few times every day. An enclosed backyard or a long line are ideal so that your dog can run and explore his/her domain. If you let your dog out and do not join him/her outside, make sure to check on him/her from time to time.\\nIf your dog often spends time outside during the warmer months, make sure that he/she has a shady place to get out of the sun and plenty of fresh, clean water and food.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Training Your Dog\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider enrolling your dog in an obedience course.\", \"描述\": \"Good dog owners put in the time and effort that is needed to train their dog basic commands. An obedience course can help you teach your dog some basic obedience skills such as sit, stay, and lay down. Going through an obedience course with your dog can also help you to build a better bond with your dog, which will benefit both of you.\\nYou may also consider working one-on-one with a certified professional dog trainer. This is a good option if your dog is not a big fan of other dogs and people, or if you just want more attention and help from the trainer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep training sessions short and regular.\", \"描述\": \"For the best results, train your dog in short sessions and repeat the sessions regularly. One way that you can train is by doing 5-15 repetitions of a behavior, such as teaching your dog to sit. Then, switch to a different behavior, and then another. Do these repetitions during one 15 minute session every day. Keeping training sessions short will help your dog pay attention. The frequency of your training sessions will help reinforce what you want your dog to learn.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use positive reinforcement.\", \"描述\": \"To teach your dog to do what you want him/her to do, it is important to reward his/her good behavior as soon as he does it. For example, if you ask you dog to sit and he/she does, praise and pet him/her right away so that your dog knows that he/she did something good. Try to reward your dog whenever he/she does good things so that he/she knows that these are the behaviors you like.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ignore bad behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Teach your dog to stop doing bad behaviors by ignoring him/her when he/she is naughty. For example, if your dog wants to go for a walk and he/she is jumping on you to let you know, ignore him/her and wait until he/she stops jumping. When he/she stops and stands still, put on his/her leash and take him/her for a walk. Repeat this process every time you walk your dog to help him/her understand that you do not want him/her to jump. He/she will learn that jumping up and down does not lead to a walk, but standing still does.\\nNever hit or scream at your dog if he/she does something bad. Punishing your dog in this way does not solve the problem and it may even make the problem worse.\\nConsult an animal behaviorist or certified professional dog trainer if you are having problems with training your dog.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Loving Your Dog\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Provide your dog with plenty of toys.\", \"描述\": \"Good dog owners make sure that their dogs have toys to play with. Make sure that your dog has plenty of toys to keep him stimulated and happy. Some good options are chew toys, squeaky toys, rope toys, frisbees, and tennis balls. Find out what your dog likes best and make sure he/she has some favorite toys to play with at all times.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give your dog a soft spot to sleep every night.\", \"描述\": \"Good dog owners don’t make their dogs sleep on the bare floor or outside in the cold. Make sure that you invest in a nice soft doggy bed for your dog when you first get him/her and line it with a blanket. Wash the blanket regularly to keep it clean and dry. Keep your dog’s bed in a warm part of the house that is free from drafts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Shower your dog with love and affection.\", \"描述\": \"Dogs provide their humans with love, affection, and companionship, so why not return the favor? If you really want to be a good dog owner, make sure that you shower your dog with lots of love and affection. Pet him/her, praise him/her, and do nice things for him/her so that he/she knows that you care.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you only have one dog, consider socializing your dog with other friendly dogs. Look into doggy day care or a well-maintained dog park as a way to give your dog opportunities to play with other dogs.\\n\", \"Do not over-exercise your dog. You could hurt them!\\n\", \"If you have an idea of getting a dog, consider adopting one from an animal shelter near you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Remember that having a dog is a serious, long-term commitment. If you are not prepared to care for an animal for all of its natural life (about 10-20 years) then do not get a dog.\\n\", \"Never leave your dog outside for extended periods of time. Dogs need and want to be around people.[25]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nThe Humane Society of the United States\\nNational organization devoted to the promotion of animal welfare\\nGo to source\\n\"]}]}}",
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"扩展字段": ""
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wikihow
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4,437 |
How to Be a Good Employee
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1. Succeeding at Your Job
1-1. Model a strong work ethic and cover the basic requirements of your job.
As soon as you start a new job, make it your business to learn the ropes as soon as possible. Many employees settle into a comfortable routine once they become proficient at a job. To set yourself apart and stand out as a good employee, always meet assignment deadlines and demonstrate a strong work ethic.
As a good employee, never make excuses for why you didn't do a task that was assigned to you.
1-2. Show initiative by going above and beyond tasks that you're assigned.
This will show your boss that you're able to work hard and serve as a model employee. Take the initiative to complete tasks on your own, so your supervisor doesn't have to micro-manage your work. If there's a way you can do more than complete the minimum requirement on a task, show that you're a good employee by putting in extra work.
If you don't know how to do a certain task that your employer expects you to perform, ask your employer or co-workers.
1-3. Learn new skills and take advantage of training opportunities.
Many employers offer periodic on-site training or online training courses. In some instances, you may be expected to travel to a conference for company-side training. Take advantage of these valuable opportunities, as they'll allow you to pick up new skills and become a better employee. Picking up new skill sets and work-related education shows that you value improving your workplace performance.
Also, if the office has a budget crisis and lets people go, highly-trained employees stand a better chance of being retained than those who can only do one thing.
1-4. Take criticism gracefully
Constructive criticism from a supervisor, client, or co-worker can give some good ideas about what people expect from you. Criticism can also show you areas in which your performance has room to improve. This is a good thing! View criticism as an opportunity to improve as an employee.
For example, say that a client points out that you made numerous grammatical errors on advertising copy. Instead of becoming defensive or blaming someone else, take this as an opportunity to brush up on your writing skills.
1-5. Ask your supervisor
While the overall expectations should have been laid out clearly in the job posting and the interview, you may find that the nature of your work changes as months and years pass. Or, you may occasionally be asked to perform tasks around the workplace that you haven't been trained for. Clear up any confusion by asking your supervisor exactly what they expect of you.
For example, if you work in an advertising agency and you're assigned to a type of client you haven't worked with before, find out from your boss what you can do to succeed at the assigned task. You might say something like, “I've never represented a car company before; do you have any advice on what types of ad strategies work best?”
1-6. Recognize and volunteer for opportunities around the office.
Volunteering for not strictly required work around your workplace allows you to choose the part you will play in a workplace assignment. It also shows that you care about the company and are willing to go the extra mile to help out. This shows dedication and ambition, which are 2 qualities that bosses look for in good employees.
1-7. Cooperate well with others in group assignments to show initiative.
Being a team player and cooperating with others on projects shows that you care about your job and the people you work with. On the other hand, if you pass on opportunities to work on projects, you'll seem like you're not interested in the job you were hired for.
1-8. Use the last 15-20 minutes of your shift to be productive and prepare for the next day.
While other employees may leave their shift 15 minutes early or browse the internet for the last 20 minutes, show that you're an excellent and hard-working employee by making productive use of this time. One of the best uses of this time is to organize your work space for tomorrow.
Take a moment to put away loose papers, clean up your work space, and locate things you'll need for the next day.
2. Cultivating Workplace Relationships
2-1. Develop good relationships
An important aspect of being a good employee is working well with the people in your office or workplace. Having a positive attitude will help improve office morale overall and demonstrate to your co-workers that you're interested in working together as a team. Treat all co-workers with courtesy, respect, and kindness.
Even if you work from home and don't see your co-workers in person, you can still develop working relationships by being polite over email.
2-2. Avoid participating in workplace gossip to show professionalism.
Your employer is not paying you to gossip or to kill time talking with your workplace friends. Keep the majority of your workplace interactions focused on the task at hand. This will show that you're a good employee and that you're dedicated to remaining focused while at work. It will also keep you out of unnecessary office politics and cliques.
Of course, you want to establish a good rapport with your co-workers, and a little chatting is inevitable and can help the time pass. But, keep this chatting professional and positive, and avoid talking about other employees behind their backs.
2-3. Offer junior employees guidance and encouragement to build morale.
Serving as a workplace mentor, whether officially or unofficially, is a great way to excel at your own job. Offer to show new employees the ropes or offer training tips. If you are not sure someone understood something, be willing to ask if they need assistance. Don't do the work for them, teach them instead.
Be careful what you say to new employees, and always keep your conduct professional. Don't air your grievances, frustrations, or interpersonal conflicts.
2-4. Have a positive attitude around the office to boost overall productivity.
A positive attitude is a sure sign of a good employee and goes a long way with many supervisors. So, when you talk to your boss about a work-related problem, go with at least one suggestion in mind for a solution. Even if your boss doesn't take your suggestion, you will look like a problem-solver, not a complainer.
If you walk around the workplace with a negative attitude and spend your time griping or complaining, you'll lower the morale of the entire staff.
3. Modeling Workplace Conduct
3-1. Behave professionally
Good employees model professionalism by treating others around them with respect. When talking to your office-mates, avoid making any inappropriate or off-color remarks to coworkers or supervisors. Avoid wasting your time joking around, being frequently off-task, or standing around in the common areas instead of at work in your workspace.
If this is your first job out of high school or college, it may help to imagine that everyone you interact with is a teacher or professor.
3-2. Maintain a clean job-performance record.
Do your job well, stick to the allotted time for lunch breaks, and avoid having any disciplinary marks put on your workplace HR record. As much as it's within your power, avoid arguments or disagreements with other employees. If you do have an in-office conflict, sort it out by talking to your boss and HR department.
Frequent absences, missed deadlines, reprimands for unprofessional behavior, or too many complaints from customers may cause you to be dismissed from your job.
3-3. Arrive at your job on time every day.
Punctuality is an important part of being a good employee. It allows you to start your work day on time and will impress your boss and other co-workers who work the same shifts that you do. It's also a good way to show clients that you're a good employee. Coming to work late, on the other hand, shows a lack of interest or motivation, or may show that you're easily distracted from tasks.
If you struggle to be on time, try planning to get to work 15 minutes early. That way, even if you're running late for your intended arrival time, you'll still arrive at work on time.
3-4. Dress appropriately for your job and office space.
Every workplace is different; some supervisors expect you to wear a suit or skirt, while others don't mind jeans and t-shirts. Find out from your boss or the HR department what the company dress policy is. Dressing appropriately shows that you take the work seriously and are dedicated to the job, and it may boost your performance as well.
Examples of inappropriate attire for any workplace include: stained or torn clothing, unwashed clothes, and shirts with inappropriate words or images on them.
Tips
Don't spend a lot of time on personal phone calls. Work is for work. If you need to make a personal call during the day, do it over your lunch break.
Promotions are most commonly based on your ability to do your job, loyalty to the company, your aptitude, and your educational background.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Succeeding at Your Job\\n1-1. Model a strong work ethic and cover the basic requirements of your job.\\nAs soon as you start a new job, make it your business to learn the ropes as soon as possible. Many employees settle into a comfortable routine once they become proficient at a job. To set yourself apart and stand out as a good employee, always meet assignment deadlines and demonstrate a strong work ethic.\\nAs a good employee, never make excuses for why you didn't do a task that was assigned to you.\\n1-2. Show initiative by going above and beyond tasks that you're assigned.\\nThis will show your boss that you're able to work hard and serve as a model employee. Take the initiative to complete tasks on your own, so your supervisor doesn't have to micro-manage your work. If there's a way you can do more than complete the minimum requirement on a task, show that you're a good employee by putting in extra work.\\nIf you don't know how to do a certain task that your employer expects you to perform, ask your employer or co-workers.\\n1-3. Learn new skills and take advantage of training opportunities.\\nMany employers offer periodic on-site training or online training courses. In some instances, you may be expected to travel to a conference for company-side training. Take advantage of these valuable opportunities, as they'll allow you to pick up new skills and become a better employee. Picking up new skill sets and work-related education shows that you value improving your workplace performance. \\nAlso, if the office has a budget crisis and lets people go, highly-trained employees stand a better chance of being retained than those who can only do one thing.\\n1-4. Take criticism gracefully\\nConstructive criticism from a supervisor, client, or co-worker can give some good ideas about what people expect from you. Criticism can also show you areas in which your performance has room to improve. This is a good thing! View criticism as an opportunity to improve as an employee.\\nFor example, say that a client points out that you made numerous grammatical errors on advertising copy. Instead of becoming defensive or blaming someone else, take this as an opportunity to brush up on your writing skills.\\n1-5. Ask your supervisor\\nWhile the overall expectations should have been laid out clearly in the job posting and the interview, you may find that the nature of your work changes as months and years pass. Or, you may occasionally be asked to perform tasks around the workplace that you haven't been trained for. Clear up any confusion by asking your supervisor exactly what they expect of you.\\nFor example, if you work in an advertising agency and you're assigned to a type of client you haven't worked with before, find out from your boss what you can do to succeed at the assigned task. You might say something like, “I've never represented a car company before; do you have any advice on what types of ad strategies work best?”\\n1-6. Recognize and volunteer for opportunities around the office.\\nVolunteering for not strictly required work around your workplace allows you to choose the part you will play in a workplace assignment. It also shows that you care about the company and are willing to go the extra mile to help out. This shows dedication and ambition, which are 2 qualities that bosses look for in good employees.\\n1-7. Cooperate well with others in group assignments to show initiative.\\nBeing a team player and cooperating with others on projects shows that you care about your job and the people you work with. On the other hand, if you pass on opportunities to work on projects, you'll seem like you're not interested in the job you were hired for.\\n1-8. Use the last 15-20 minutes of your shift to be productive and prepare for the next day.\\nWhile other employees may leave their shift 15 minutes early or browse the internet for the last 20 minutes, show that you're an excellent and hard-working employee by making productive use of this time. One of the best uses of this time is to organize your work space for tomorrow.\\nTake a moment to put away loose papers, clean up your work space, and locate things you'll need for the next day.\\n2. Cultivating Workplace Relationships\\n2-1. Develop good relationships\\nAn important aspect of being a good employee is working well with the people in your office or workplace. Having a positive attitude will help improve office morale overall and demonstrate to your co-workers that you're interested in working together as a team. Treat all co-workers with courtesy, respect, and kindness.\\nEven if you work from home and don't see your co-workers in person, you can still develop working relationships by being polite over email.\\n2-2. Avoid participating in workplace gossip to show professionalism.\\nYour employer is not paying you to gossip or to kill time talking with your workplace friends. Keep the majority of your workplace interactions focused on the task at hand. This will show that you're a good employee and that you're dedicated to remaining focused while at work. It will also keep you out of unnecessary office politics and cliques.\\nOf course, you want to establish a good rapport with your co-workers, and a little chatting is inevitable and can help the time pass. But, keep this chatting professional and positive, and avoid talking about other employees behind their backs.\\n2-3. Offer junior employees guidance and encouragement to build morale.\\nServing as a workplace mentor, whether officially or unofficially, is a great way to excel at your own job. Offer to show new employees the ropes or offer training tips. If you are not sure someone understood something, be willing to ask if they need assistance. Don't do the work for them, teach them instead.\\nBe careful what you say to new employees, and always keep your conduct professional. Don't air your grievances, frustrations, or interpersonal conflicts.\\n2-4. Have a positive attitude around the office to boost overall productivity.\\nA positive attitude is a sure sign of a good employee and goes a long way with many supervisors. So, when you talk to your boss about a work-related problem, go with at least one suggestion in mind for a solution. Even if your boss doesn't take your suggestion, you will look like a problem-solver, not a complainer.\\nIf you walk around the workplace with a negative attitude and spend your time griping or complaining, you'll lower the morale of the entire staff.\\n3. Modeling Workplace Conduct\\n3-1. Behave professionally\\nGood employees model professionalism by treating others around them with respect. When talking to your office-mates, avoid making any inappropriate or off-color remarks to coworkers or supervisors. Avoid wasting your time joking around, being frequently off-task, or standing around in the common areas instead of at work in your workspace.\\nIf this is your first job out of high school or college, it may help to imagine that everyone you interact with is a teacher or professor.\\n3-2. Maintain a clean job-performance record.\\nDo your job well, stick to the allotted time for lunch breaks, and avoid having any disciplinary marks put on your workplace HR record. As much as it's within your power, avoid arguments or disagreements with other employees. If you do have an in-office conflict, sort it out by talking to your boss and HR department.\\nFrequent absences, missed deadlines, reprimands for unprofessional behavior, or too many complaints from customers may cause you to be dismissed from your job.\\n3-3. Arrive at your job on time every day.\\nPunctuality is an important part of being a good employee. It allows you to start your work day on time and will impress your boss and other co-workers who work the same shifts that you do. It's also a good way to show clients that you're a good employee. Coming to work late, on the other hand, shows a lack of interest or motivation, or may show that you're easily distracted from tasks.\\nIf you struggle to be on time, try planning to get to work 15 minutes early. That way, even if you're running late for your intended arrival time, you'll still arrive at work on time.\\n3-4. Dress appropriately for your job and office space.\\nEvery workplace is different; some supervisors expect you to wear a suit or skirt, while others don't mind jeans and t-shirts. Find out from your boss or the HR department what the company dress policy is. Dressing appropriately shows that you take the work seriously and are dedicated to the job, and it may boost your performance as well.\\nExamples of inappropriate attire for any workplace include: stained or torn clothing, unwashed clothes, and shirts with inappropriate words or images on them.\\nTips\\nDon't spend a lot of time on personal phone calls. Work is for work. If you need to make a personal call during the day, do it over your lunch break.\\nPromotions are most commonly based on your ability to do your job, loyalty to the company, your aptitude, and your educational background.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you work in an office, a call center, or at a fast-food restaurant, it's important to work hard at your job and be a good employee. Dedicate yourself to the tasks you're assigned and participate in any training that's offered to you. Always treat your co-workers, clients, and supervisors with professional respect. Being a good employee demonstrates to your supervisor that you're dedicated to your work and will show your eligibility for a promotion or raise.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Succeeding at Your Job\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Model a strong work ethic and cover the basic requirements of your job.\", \"描述\": \"As soon as you start a new job, make it your business to learn the ropes as soon as possible. Many employees settle into a comfortable routine once they become proficient at a job. To set yourself apart and stand out as a good employee, always meet assignment deadlines and demonstrate a strong work ethic.\\nAs a good employee, never make excuses for why you didn't do a task that was assigned to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show initiative by going above and beyond tasks that you're assigned.\", \"描述\": \"This will show your boss that you're able to work hard and serve as a model employee. Take the initiative to complete tasks on your own, so your supervisor doesn't have to micro-manage your work. If there's a way you can do more than complete the minimum requirement on a task, show that you're a good employee by putting in extra work.\\nIf you don't know how to do a certain task that your employer expects you to perform, ask your employer or co-workers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn new skills and take advantage of training opportunities.\", \"描述\": \"Many employers offer periodic on-site training or online training courses. In some instances, you may be expected to travel to a conference for company-side training. Take advantage of these valuable opportunities, as they'll allow you to pick up new skills and become a better employee. Picking up new skill sets and work-related education shows that you value improving your workplace performance. \\nAlso, if the office has a budget crisis and lets people go, highly-trained employees stand a better chance of being retained than those who can only do one thing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take criticism gracefully\", \"描述\": \"Constructive criticism from a supervisor, client, or co-worker can give some good ideas about what people expect from you. Criticism can also show you areas in which your performance has room to improve. This is a good thing! View criticism as an opportunity to improve as an employee.\\nFor example, say that a client points out that you made numerous grammatical errors on advertising copy. Instead of becoming defensive or blaming someone else, take this as an opportunity to brush up on your writing skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask your supervisor\", \"描述\": \"While the overall expectations should have been laid out clearly in the job posting and the interview, you may find that the nature of your work changes as months and years pass. Or, you may occasionally be asked to perform tasks around the workplace that you haven't been trained for. Clear up any confusion by asking your supervisor exactly what they expect of you.\\nFor example, if you work in an advertising agency and you're assigned to a type of client you haven't worked with before, find out from your boss what you can do to succeed at the assigned task. You might say something like, “I've never represented a car company before; do you have any advice on what types of ad strategies work best?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Recognize and volunteer for opportunities around the office.\", \"描述\": \"Volunteering for not strictly required work around your workplace allows you to choose the part you will play in a workplace assignment. It also shows that you care about the company and are willing to go the extra mile to help out. This shows dedication and ambition, which are 2 qualities that bosses look for in good employees.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Cooperate well with others in group assignments to show initiative.\", \"描述\": \"Being a team player and cooperating with others on projects shows that you care about your job and the people you work with. On the other hand, if you pass on opportunities to work on projects, you'll seem like you're not interested in the job you were hired for.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Use the last 15-20 minutes of your shift to be productive and prepare for the next day.\", \"描述\": \"While other employees may leave their shift 15 minutes early or browse the internet for the last 20 minutes, show that you're an excellent and hard-working employee by making productive use of this time. One of the best uses of this time is to organize your work space for tomorrow.\\nTake a moment to put away loose papers, clean up your work space, and locate things you'll need for the next day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cultivating Workplace Relationships\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop good relationships\", \"描述\": \"An important aspect of being a good employee is working well with the people in your office or workplace. Having a positive attitude will help improve office morale overall and demonstrate to your co-workers that you're interested in working together as a team. Treat all co-workers with courtesy, respect, and kindness.\\nEven if you work from home and don't see your co-workers in person, you can still develop working relationships by being polite over email.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid participating in workplace gossip to show professionalism.\", \"描述\": \"Your employer is not paying you to gossip or to kill time talking with your workplace friends. Keep the majority of your workplace interactions focused on the task at hand. This will show that you're a good employee and that you're dedicated to remaining focused while at work. It will also keep you out of unnecessary office politics and cliques.\\nOf course, you want to establish a good rapport with your co-workers, and a little chatting is inevitable and can help the time pass. But, keep this chatting professional and positive, and avoid talking about other employees behind their backs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Offer junior employees guidance and encouragement to build morale.\", \"描述\": \"Serving as a workplace mentor, whether officially or unofficially, is a great way to excel at your own job. Offer to show new employees the ropes or offer training tips. If you are not sure someone understood something, be willing to ask if they need assistance. Don't do the work for them, teach them instead.\\nBe careful what you say to new employees, and always keep your conduct professional. Don't air your grievances, frustrations, or interpersonal conflicts.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have a positive attitude around the office to boost overall productivity.\", \"描述\": \"A positive attitude is a sure sign of a good employee and goes a long way with many supervisors. So, when you talk to your boss about a work-related problem, go with at least one suggestion in mind for a solution. Even if your boss doesn't take your suggestion, you will look like a problem-solver, not a complainer.\\nIf you walk around the workplace with a negative attitude and spend your time griping or complaining, you'll lower the morale of the entire staff.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Modeling Workplace Conduct\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Behave professionally\", \"描述\": \"Good employees model professionalism by treating others around them with respect. When talking to your office-mates, avoid making any inappropriate or off-color remarks to coworkers or supervisors. Avoid wasting your time joking around, being frequently off-task, or standing around in the common areas instead of at work in your workspace.\\nIf this is your first job out of high school or college, it may help to imagine that everyone you interact with is a teacher or professor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain a clean job-performance record.\", \"描述\": \"Do your job well, stick to the allotted time for lunch breaks, and avoid having any disciplinary marks put on your workplace HR record. As much as it's within your power, avoid arguments or disagreements with other employees. If you do have an in-office conflict, sort it out by talking to your boss and HR department.\\nFrequent absences, missed deadlines, reprimands for unprofessional behavior, or too many complaints from customers may cause you to be dismissed from your job.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Arrive at your job on time every day.\", \"描述\": \"Punctuality is an important part of being a good employee. It allows you to start your work day on time and will impress your boss and other co-workers who work the same shifts that you do. It's also a good way to show clients that you're a good employee. Coming to work late, on the other hand, shows a lack of interest or motivation, or may show that you're easily distracted from tasks.\\nIf you struggle to be on time, try planning to get to work 15 minutes early. That way, even if you're running late for your intended arrival time, you'll still arrive at work on time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dress appropriately for your job and office space.\", \"描述\": \"Every workplace is different; some supervisors expect you to wear a suit or skirt, while others don't mind jeans and t-shirts. Find out from your boss or the HR department what the company dress policy is. Dressing appropriately shows that you take the work seriously and are dedicated to the job, and it may boost your performance as well.\\nExamples of inappropriate attire for any workplace include: stained or torn clothing, unwashed clothes, and shirts with inappropriate words or images on them.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't spend a lot of time on personal phone calls. Work is for work. If you need to make a personal call during the day, do it over your lunch break.\\n\", \"Promotions are most commonly based on your ability to do your job, loyalty to the company, your aptitude, and your educational background.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
|
4,438 |
How to Be a Good English Teacher
|
1. Developing Lesson Plans
1-1. Choose material that will interest your students.
While classics like Moby Dick are incredibly important historically and have a lot of literary value, they can be too long, boring, and seemingly irrelevant to hold your students' interest for long. Instead, assign shorter or more contemporary works, or works that you know your students will enjoy.
Look for literary or academic merit in unlikely places: even a zombie apocalypse novel like Colson Whitehead's Zone One deals with challenging and important topics that perfectly complement a classic like Hemingway's In Our Time while still remaining relevant to modern audiences.
1-2. Assign reasonable amounts of homework.
While it may seem nice to have your students read a lengthy novel in a week, this can be an unreasonable expectation. Your students won't be able to finish the reading and will skim it, read a summary instead, or not read it at all. Encourage your students to complete their homework and get the most out of their education by assigning smaller amounts of homework that directly relate to the class work.
Your focus should be on creating an in-class environment where you can monitor your student's work and progress. If you choose to give homework, it should be brief and relate directly to your in-class assignments and discussions.
Short stories are excellent ways pieces to assign as critical reading. Just because there's less to read doesn't mean your students can't learn key concepts. Find short stories that illustrate what you're discussing in class and use them to keep your students engaged.
1-3. Give homework assignments that help students understand the material.
Ask students to write a short response to a reading assignment, including an interpretation of or questions about the reading. These assignments should challenge students to think critically and consider important questions, or make connections between class topics.
Don't assign busywork. Some assignments like vocabulary sentences and definition work are helpful. However, sending home a reading that isn't related to class work just to make sure your students have English homework is stressful and unnecessary. Focus on the quality of the homework you assign rather than the quantity.
1-4. Focus on the big-picture understanding.
Focus on their general understanding of the topics you teach in addition to skills like vocabulary. Impress upon them the larger significance of what they're studying and how this can help them elsewhere in their lives. Teach them how to learn rather than simple facts. This will help them come away from your class with a more lasting understanding of and appreciation for the subject.
1-5. Order your lessons to make them cohesive.
Rather than jumping from topic to topic at will, order your lessons chronologically or thematically. Tie different topics together in your discussions so that your students understand how each topic is related. Help them draw connections and encourage them to consider their ideas in different contexts. What does Whitman's relationship with nature have to do with Tennyson's, or Hemingway's? How are they the same or different, and why?
Ordering your lessons chronologically can make the progression from one topic to the next feel natural — it makes sense to study 18th century writers before 19th century ones. Also consider ordering topics thematically, so that you study the progression of a theme or idea across several texts.
2. Leading Discussions
2-1. Know the material well.
If you'll be discussing a short story, reread it several times to make sure you pick up the smaller details that you might not have noticed the first time. Come up with an interpretation of the work, but remind yourself that yours is not the only possible interpretation. Make sure you'll be able to answer common questions students might have about the work.
It's alright if you don't have answers to every question that comes up. Instead of trying to compensate, open the topic up to a discussion from the class so that they can become learning moments for everyone.
2-2. Bring in outside material.
While the main focus of the discussion should be based in the text itself, it can be helpful to bring in outside material like biographical information about the author, the backstory of the text, or famous or controversial interpretations. Do some research and bring in the most relevant or interesting information you find.
2-3. Know what you want to discuss.
Pick out a few key points of the text that you think your students will find most challenging or confusing. Have in mind the specific topics you'll want to cover, and come up with a few important points your students should take away from the discussion.
Keep in mind that your students will have questions and interests that you may not be able to anticipate. Your lesson plans should not be set in stone. Responding to what your students want to talk about will create a lively, engaging, productive discussion.
2-4. Ask interpretive questions.
You should guide your students to interpret the text rather than discuss factual aspects. Ask "how" and "why" questions rather than "what" or yes or no questions. For example, "What did Ender do to Bonzo Madrid?" is a very simple question, while "Why did Ender do it?" is much more challenging and complex, and "How do you know?" demands close reading and attention to the text.
2-5. Ask specific questions.
It can be good to start with broad questions like "What did you like about this story?", but only if they are quickly followed by much more specific questions. Broad questions don't help students think critically about the text, and they encourage generalizations and assumptions rather than text-based arguments. In contrast, asking specific questions about specific aspects of the text will challenge your students to focus on things they may have missed, construct arguments based in the text, and contend with details that challenge their interpretations.
2-6. Encourage your students to respond to each other.
In a discussion, students shouldn't talk to you. Rather, they should direct their questions and comments to each other, and you should step in only to keep the discussion moving forward. They will learn best if they work together to build their own ideas and interpretations — they won't get much out of the conversation if you simply tell them what you think. Remember, you're helping them learn, and a large part of that is teaching them how best to learn.
Break your students up into small groups and have them discuss topics amongst themselves. Then, have each group talk about what they discussed with the whole class. Try having each group act as an authority on a certain area and lead the class in a discussion about that topic.
If your students will listen to and respect each other, encourage them to jump into the discussion without raising their hands and waiting to be called on. This will create a more responsive, quickly-moving, and engaging conversation that can sustain itself without you. If your students talk over each other or if a few students monopolize the discussion, have the person who just spoke choose the next person to talk, or find another way to allocate speaking time without having to do it yourself.
2-7. Challenge your students' ideas, and encourage them to do the same.
You shouldn't disagree with everything they say, but ask them to support their claims with textual evidence, and encourage other students to come up with different interpretations. Putting pressure on students' ideas makes them think harder to come up with convincing arguments. It also helps them develop the skills to speak persuasively and debate with their peers.
Debates and arguments help a discussion become lively, engaging, and interesting. If these debates start to get personal, or if students might offend each other, think about turning the conversation back to the text. You should challenge students' interpretations of the text, not the students themselves.
3. Knowing Your Material
3-1. Read regularly.
Read many kinds of literature including books, magazines, newspapers and poetry. Reading is the best way to confront challenging topics, pick up vocabulary and writing techniques, and discover new material to bring to the classroom. Depending on the grade you teach, you should be familiar with the most important works in literary history. And you should always be able to give reading suggestions to your students.
As well as reading important literature, read for fun. Remember why you love reading, and encourage your students to do the same.
Be aware of current trends in reading material, and try out the things you think your students might be reading. This will help you better understand their interests and relate to them outside the classroom, which will make you a more effective teacher overall.
3-2. Expand your vocabulary.
Make a point of looking up new words that you come across in your reading. Study your favorite words and begin to amass a large vocabulary. Challenge yourself to think about words you don't know. Guess at their etymology, and use similar words to figure out their meaning. Don't be afraid to look up words that you're unsure about, and encourage your students to do the same.
At the same time, teach your students that the mark of a good writer isn't just whipping out two-dollar words and using them to sound sophisticated. Teach your students the difference between using a word to draw a historical comparison, or using an alliterative word, and using a word to impress someone with your learning. There are more and less useful ways of wielding words.
Never talk down to your students for not knowing or understanding a word. Let them know, "It's alright, that's a difficult word." Then, use a synonym, provide them with context clues, or help them look it up so that they become familiar with a more advanced vocabulary.
3-3. Practice your handwriting.
Students need to be able to read your handwriting so that they can understand notes you take on the whiteboard or feedback you give on an essay. Write letters or keep a journal to keep your handwriting alive and healthy, and always focus on readability rather than the speed of your writing.
3-4. Develop your English language skills.
Make sure you have a firm grasp of spelling, punctuation, and grammar. You don't want to find yourself teaching your students mistaken or wrong information. Use reference books and the Internet as sources for grammar and punctuation rules, and don't be afraid to look up topics you're not sure about.
4. Developing Your Skills in the Classroom
4-1. Become comfortable speaking in front of your class.
Learn to be confident, to stand in front of your students and speak well. Practice reading aloud to get comfortable speaking loudly and clearly and to make sure you won't stumble when you do it in front of your class. Practice good public speaking skills so that you can perform well in the classroom.
4-2. Encourage your students.
Pay attention to your students and give their ideas your full consideration. Work on building a rapport early on in the school year. Treat them as intelligent and worthy people, and respect them academically and otherwise. Try getting to know one thing each student is passionate about outside the classroom. Then, encourage them to pursue their interests and curiosities, and challenge them in and out of the classroom. When you give them attention and respect, you'll find that they perform well so as to be worthy of it.
4-3. Be available outside of class.
Encourage your students to drop by at lunch or after school. This can make a huge difference for students who may be struggling or who want to pursue a discussion further. Being available for them encourages them to foster a genuine interest in the material, and it's a display of your respect and desire to help them learn.
4-4. Be strict but fair.
Don't shout at the pupils every chance you get, but on the other hand don't let them walk over you. Show discipline, but don't go over the top, or this will make them behave worse towards you. If a pupil has done well, tell them so and reward them. Likewise if a pupil is struggling, tell him or her to stay behind so that you can help them to find out what's going wrong, or ask another pupil who understands the concept to help the struggling one.
4-5. Make sure your students understand what you teach.
Don't speak and write too quickly. This will give them time to listen, understand, and copy things down so that they don't miss essential information. Help them absorb your lessons, and encourage them to make connections between topics and outside of class so that they can more fully understand your lessons.
Tips
Encourage your students to engage with the material outside of class.
Warnings
Being a teacher can be very hard and takes a lot of time and patience.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing Lesson Plans\\n1-1. Choose material that will interest your students.\\nWhile classics like Moby Dick are incredibly important historically and have a lot of literary value, they can be too long, boring, and seemingly irrelevant to hold your students' interest for long. Instead, assign shorter or more contemporary works, or works that you know your students will enjoy.\\nLook for literary or academic merit in unlikely places: even a zombie apocalypse novel like Colson Whitehead's Zone One deals with challenging and important topics that perfectly complement a classic like Hemingway's In Our Time while still remaining relevant to modern audiences.\\n1-2. Assign reasonable amounts of homework.\\nWhile it may seem nice to have your students read a lengthy novel in a week, this can be an unreasonable expectation. Your students won't be able to finish the reading and will skim it, read a summary instead, or not read it at all. Encourage your students to complete their homework and get the most out of their education by assigning smaller amounts of homework that directly relate to the class work.\\nYour focus should be on creating an in-class environment where you can monitor your student's work and progress. If you choose to give homework, it should be brief and relate directly to your in-class assignments and discussions.\\nShort stories are excellent ways pieces to assign as critical reading. Just because there's less to read doesn't mean your students can't learn key concepts. Find short stories that illustrate what you're discussing in class and use them to keep your students engaged.\\n1-3. Give homework assignments that help students understand the material.\\nAsk students to write a short response to a reading assignment, including an interpretation of or questions about the reading. These assignments should challenge students to think critically and consider important questions, or make connections between class topics.\\nDon't assign busywork. Some assignments like vocabulary sentences and definition work are helpful. However, sending home a reading that isn't related to class work just to make sure your students have English homework is stressful and unnecessary. Focus on the quality of the homework you assign rather than the quantity.\\n1-4. Focus on the big-picture understanding.\\nFocus on their general understanding of the topics you teach in addition to skills like vocabulary. Impress upon them the larger significance of what they're studying and how this can help them elsewhere in their lives. Teach them how to learn rather than simple facts. This will help them come away from your class with a more lasting understanding of and appreciation for the subject.\\n1-5. Order your lessons to make them cohesive.\\nRather than jumping from topic to topic at will, order your lessons chronologically or thematically. Tie different topics together in your discussions so that your students understand how each topic is related. Help them draw connections and encourage them to consider their ideas in different contexts. What does Whitman's relationship with nature have to do with Tennyson's, or Hemingway's? How are they the same or different, and why?\\nOrdering your lessons chronologically can make the progression from one topic to the next feel natural — it makes sense to study 18th century writers before 19th century ones. Also consider ordering topics thematically, so that you study the progression of a theme or idea across several texts.\\n2. Leading Discussions\\n2-1. Know the material well.\\nIf you'll be discussing a short story, reread it several times to make sure you pick up the smaller details that you might not have noticed the first time. Come up with an interpretation of the work, but remind yourself that yours is not the only possible interpretation. Make sure you'll be able to answer common questions students might have about the work.\\nIt's alright if you don't have answers to every question that comes up. Instead of trying to compensate, open the topic up to a discussion from the class so that they can become learning moments for everyone.\\n2-2. Bring in outside material.\\nWhile the main focus of the discussion should be based in the text itself, it can be helpful to bring in outside material like biographical information about the author, the backstory of the text, or famous or controversial interpretations. Do some research and bring in the most relevant or interesting information you find.\\n2-3. Know what you want to discuss.\\nPick out a few key points of the text that you think your students will find most challenging or confusing. Have in mind the specific topics you'll want to cover, and come up with a few important points your students should take away from the discussion.\\nKeep in mind that your students will have questions and interests that you may not be able to anticipate. Your lesson plans should not be set in stone. Responding to what your students want to talk about will create a lively, engaging, productive discussion.\\n2-4. Ask interpretive questions.\\nYou should guide your students to interpret the text rather than discuss factual aspects. Ask \\\"how\\\" and \\\"why\\\" questions rather than \\\"what\\\" or yes or no questions. For example, \\\"What did Ender do to Bonzo Madrid?\\\" is a very simple question, while \\\"Why did Ender do it?\\\" is much more challenging and complex, and \\\"How do you know?\\\" demands close reading and attention to the text.\\n2-5. Ask specific questions.\\nIt can be good to start with broad questions like \\\"What did you like about this story?\\\", but only if they are quickly followed by much more specific questions. Broad questions don't help students think critically about the text, and they encourage generalizations and assumptions rather than text-based arguments. In contrast, asking specific questions about specific aspects of the text will challenge your students to focus on things they may have missed, construct arguments based in the text, and contend with details that challenge their interpretations.\\n2-6. Encourage your students to respond to each other.\\nIn a discussion, students shouldn't talk to you. Rather, they should direct their questions and comments to each other, and you should step in only to keep the discussion moving forward. They will learn best if they work together to build their own ideas and interpretations — they won't get much out of the conversation if you simply tell them what you think. Remember, you're helping them learn, and a large part of that is teaching them how best to learn.\\nBreak your students up into small groups and have them discuss topics amongst themselves. Then, have each group talk about what they discussed with the whole class. Try having each group act as an authority on a certain area and lead the class in a discussion about that topic.\\nIf your students will listen to and respect each other, encourage them to jump into the discussion without raising their hands and waiting to be called on. This will create a more responsive, quickly-moving, and engaging conversation that can sustain itself without you. If your students talk over each other or if a few students monopolize the discussion, have the person who just spoke choose the next person to talk, or find another way to allocate speaking time without having to do it yourself.\\n2-7. Challenge your students' ideas, and encourage them to do the same.\\nYou shouldn't disagree with everything they say, but ask them to support their claims with textual evidence, and encourage other students to come up with different interpretations. Putting pressure on students' ideas makes them think harder to come up with convincing arguments. It also helps them develop the skills to speak persuasively and debate with their peers.\\nDebates and arguments help a discussion become lively, engaging, and interesting. If these debates start to get personal, or if students might offend each other, think about turning the conversation back to the text. You should challenge students' interpretations of the text, not the students themselves.\\n3. Knowing Your Material\\n3-1. Read regularly.\\nRead many kinds of literature including books, magazines, newspapers and poetry. Reading is the best way to confront challenging topics, pick up vocabulary and writing techniques, and discover new material to bring to the classroom. Depending on the grade you teach, you should be familiar with the most important works in literary history. And you should always be able to give reading suggestions to your students.\\nAs well as reading important literature, read for fun. Remember why you love reading, and encourage your students to do the same.\\nBe aware of current trends in reading material, and try out the things you think your students might be reading. This will help you better understand their interests and relate to them outside the classroom, which will make you a more effective teacher overall.\\n3-2. Expand your vocabulary.\\nMake a point of looking up new words that you come across in your reading. Study your favorite words and begin to amass a large vocabulary. Challenge yourself to think about words you don't know. Guess at their etymology, and use similar words to figure out their meaning. Don't be afraid to look up words that you're unsure about, and encourage your students to do the same.\\nAt the same time, teach your students that the mark of a good writer isn't just whipping out two-dollar words and using them to sound sophisticated. Teach your students the difference between using a word to draw a historical comparison, or using an alliterative word, and using a word to impress someone with your learning. There are more and less useful ways of wielding words.\\nNever talk down to your students for not knowing or understanding a word. Let them know, \\\"It's alright, that's a difficult word.\\\" Then, use a synonym, provide them with context clues, or help them look it up so that they become familiar with a more advanced vocabulary.\\n3-3. Practice your handwriting.\\nStudents need to be able to read your handwriting so that they can understand notes you take on the whiteboard or feedback you give on an essay. Write letters or keep a journal to keep your handwriting alive and healthy, and always focus on readability rather than the speed of your writing.\\n3-4. Develop your English language skills.\\nMake sure you have a firm grasp of spelling, punctuation, and grammar. You don't want to find yourself teaching your students mistaken or wrong information. Use reference books and the Internet as sources for grammar and punctuation rules, and don't be afraid to look up topics you're not sure about.\\n4. Developing Your Skills in the Classroom\\n4-1. Become comfortable speaking in front of your class.\\nLearn to be confident, to stand in front of your students and speak well. Practice reading aloud to get comfortable speaking loudly and clearly and to make sure you won't stumble when you do it in front of your class. Practice good public speaking skills so that you can perform well in the classroom.\\n4-2. Encourage your students.\\nPay attention to your students and give their ideas your full consideration. Work on building a rapport early on in the school year. Treat them as intelligent and worthy people, and respect them academically and otherwise. Try getting to know one thing each student is passionate about outside the classroom. Then, encourage them to pursue their interests and curiosities, and challenge them in and out of the classroom. When you give them attention and respect, you'll find that they perform well so as to be worthy of it.\\n4-3. Be available outside of class.\\nEncourage your students to drop by at lunch or after school. This can make a huge difference for students who may be struggling or who want to pursue a discussion further. Being available for them encourages them to foster a genuine interest in the material, and it's a display of your respect and desire to help them learn.\\n4-4. Be strict but fair.\\nDon't shout at the pupils every chance you get, but on the other hand don't let them walk over you. Show discipline, but don't go over the top, or this will make them behave worse towards you. If a pupil has done well, tell them so and reward them. Likewise if a pupil is struggling, tell him or her to stay behind so that you can help them to find out what's going wrong, or ask another pupil who understands the concept to help the struggling one.\\n4-5. Make sure your students understand what you teach.\\nDon't speak and write too quickly. This will give them time to listen, understand, and copy things down so that they don't miss essential information. Help them absorb your lessons, and encourage them to make connections between topics and outside of class so that they can more fully understand your lessons.\\nTips\\nEncourage your students to engage with the material outside of class.\\nWarnings\\nBeing a teacher can be very hard and takes a lot of time and patience.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"English teachers have an important job. They teach students how to read and write well, how to understand what they read, how to learn from their peers, and how to have productive and challenging conversations. Being a successful English teacher can be difficult, but there are steps you can take to improve, so that both you and your students get more out of your time in the classroom.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing Lesson Plans\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose material that will interest your students.\", \"描述\": \"While classics like Moby Dick are incredibly important historically and have a lot of literary value, they can be too long, boring, and seemingly irrelevant to hold your students' interest for long. Instead, assign shorter or more contemporary works, or works that you know your students will enjoy.\\nLook for literary or academic merit in unlikely places: even a zombie apocalypse novel like Colson Whitehead's Zone One deals with challenging and important topics that perfectly complement a classic like Hemingway's In Our Time while still remaining relevant to modern audiences.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assign reasonable amounts of homework.\", \"描述\": \"While it may seem nice to have your students read a lengthy novel in a week, this can be an unreasonable expectation. Your students won't be able to finish the reading and will skim it, read a summary instead, or not read it at all. Encourage your students to complete their homework and get the most out of their education by assigning smaller amounts of homework that directly relate to the class work.\\nYour focus should be on creating an in-class environment where you can monitor your student's work and progress. If you choose to give homework, it should be brief and relate directly to your in-class assignments and discussions.\\nShort stories are excellent ways pieces to assign as critical reading. Just because there's less to read doesn't mean your students can't learn key concepts. Find short stories that illustrate what you're discussing in class and use them to keep your students engaged.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give homework assignments that help students understand the material.\", \"描述\": \"Ask students to write a short response to a reading assignment, including an interpretation of or questions about the reading. These assignments should challenge students to think critically and consider important questions, or make connections between class topics.\\nDon't assign busywork. Some assignments like vocabulary sentences and definition work are helpful. However, sending home a reading that isn't related to class work just to make sure your students have English homework is stressful and unnecessary. Focus on the quality of the homework you assign rather than the quantity.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Focus on the big-picture understanding.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on their general understanding of the topics you teach in addition to skills like vocabulary. Impress upon them the larger significance of what they're studying and how this can help them elsewhere in their lives. Teach them how to learn rather than simple facts. This will help them come away from your class with a more lasting understanding of and appreciation for the subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Order your lessons to make them cohesive.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than jumping from topic to topic at will, order your lessons chronologically or thematically. Tie different topics together in your discussions so that your students understand how each topic is related. Help them draw connections and encourage them to consider their ideas in different contexts. What does Whitman's relationship with nature have to do with Tennyson's, or Hemingway's? How are they the same or different, and why?\\nOrdering your lessons chronologically can make the progression from one topic to the next feel natural — it makes sense to study 18th century writers before 19th century ones. Also consider ordering topics thematically, so that you study the progression of a theme or idea across several texts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Leading Discussions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know the material well.\", \"描述\": \"If you'll be discussing a short story, reread it several times to make sure you pick up the smaller details that you might not have noticed the first time. Come up with an interpretation of the work, but remind yourself that yours is not the only possible interpretation. Make sure you'll be able to answer common questions students might have about the work.\\nIt's alright if you don't have answers to every question that comes up. Instead of trying to compensate, open the topic up to a discussion from the class so that they can become learning moments for everyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bring in outside material.\", \"描述\": \"While the main focus of the discussion should be based in the text itself, it can be helpful to bring in outside material like biographical information about the author, the backstory of the text, or famous or controversial interpretations. Do some research and bring in the most relevant or interesting information you find.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know what you want to discuss.\", \"描述\": \"Pick out a few key points of the text that you think your students will find most challenging or confusing. Have in mind the specific topics you'll want to cover, and come up with a few important points your students should take away from the discussion.\\nKeep in mind that your students will have questions and interests that you may not be able to anticipate. Your lesson plans should not be set in stone. Responding to what your students want to talk about will create a lively, engaging, productive discussion.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask interpretive questions.\", \"描述\": \"You should guide your students to interpret the text rather than discuss factual aspects. Ask \\\"how\\\" and \\\"why\\\" questions rather than \\\"what\\\" or yes or no questions. For example, \\\"What did Ender do to Bonzo Madrid?\\\" is a very simple question, while \\\"Why did Ender do it?\\\" is much more challenging and complex, and \\\"How do you know?\\\" demands close reading and attention to the text.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask specific questions.\", \"描述\": \"It can be good to start with broad questions like \\\"What did you like about this story?\\\", but only if they are quickly followed by much more specific questions. Broad questions don't help students think critically about the text, and they encourage generalizations and assumptions rather than text-based arguments. In contrast, asking specific questions about specific aspects of the text will challenge your students to focus on things they may have missed, construct arguments based in the text, and contend with details that challenge their interpretations.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Encourage your students to respond to each other.\", \"描述\": \"In a discussion, students shouldn't talk to you. Rather, they should direct their questions and comments to each other, and you should step in only to keep the discussion moving forward. They will learn best if they work together to build their own ideas and interpretations — they won't get much out of the conversation if you simply tell them what you think. Remember, you're helping them learn, and a large part of that is teaching them how best to learn.\\nBreak your students up into small groups and have them discuss topics amongst themselves. Then, have each group talk about what they discussed with the whole class. Try having each group act as an authority on a certain area and lead the class in a discussion about that topic.\\nIf your students will listen to and respect each other, encourage them to jump into the discussion without raising their hands and waiting to be called on. This will create a more responsive, quickly-moving, and engaging conversation that can sustain itself without you. If your students talk over each other or if a few students monopolize the discussion, have the person who just spoke choose the next person to talk, or find another way to allocate speaking time without having to do it yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Challenge your students' ideas, and encourage them to do the same.\", \"描述\": \"You shouldn't disagree with everything they say, but ask them to support their claims with textual evidence, and encourage other students to come up with different interpretations. Putting pressure on students' ideas makes them think harder to come up with convincing arguments. It also helps them develop the skills to speak persuasively and debate with their peers.\\nDebates and arguments help a discussion become lively, engaging, and interesting. If these debates start to get personal, or if students might offend each other, think about turning the conversation back to the text. You should challenge students' interpretations of the text, not the students themselves.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Knowing Your Material\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Read many kinds of literature including books, magazines, newspapers and poetry. Reading is the best way to confront challenging topics, pick up vocabulary and writing techniques, and discover new material to bring to the classroom. Depending on the grade you teach, you should be familiar with the most important works in literary history. And you should always be able to give reading suggestions to your students.\\nAs well as reading important literature, read for fun. Remember why you love reading, and encourage your students to do the same.\\nBe aware of current trends in reading material, and try out the things you think your students might be reading. This will help you better understand their interests and relate to them outside the classroom, which will make you a more effective teacher overall.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Expand your vocabulary.\", \"描述\": \"Make a point of looking up new words that you come across in your reading. Study your favorite words and begin to amass a large vocabulary. Challenge yourself to think about words you don't know. Guess at their etymology, and use similar words to figure out their meaning. Don't be afraid to look up words that you're unsure about, and encourage your students to do the same.\\nAt the same time, teach your students that the mark of a good writer isn't just whipping out two-dollar words and using them to sound sophisticated. Teach your students the difference between using a word to draw a historical comparison, or using an alliterative word, and using a word to impress someone with your learning. There are more and less useful ways of wielding words.\\nNever talk down to your students for not knowing or understanding a word. Let them know, \\\"It's alright, that's a difficult word.\\\" Then, use a synonym, provide them with context clues, or help them look it up so that they become familiar with a more advanced vocabulary.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice your handwriting.\", \"描述\": \"Students need to be able to read your handwriting so that they can understand notes you take on the whiteboard or feedback you give on an essay. Write letters or keep a journal to keep your handwriting alive and healthy, and always focus on readability rather than the speed of your writing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Develop your English language skills.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you have a firm grasp of spelling, punctuation, and grammar. You don't want to find yourself teaching your students mistaken or wrong information. Use reference books and the Internet as sources for grammar and punctuation rules, and don't be afraid to look up topics you're not sure about.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Developing Your Skills in the Classroom\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Become comfortable speaking in front of your class.\", \"描述\": \"Learn to be confident, to stand in front of your students and speak well. Practice reading aloud to get comfortable speaking loudly and clearly and to make sure you won't stumble when you do it in front of your class. Practice good public speaking skills so that you can perform well in the classroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Encourage your students.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention to your students and give their ideas your full consideration. Work on building a rapport early on in the school year. Treat them as intelligent and worthy people, and respect them academically and otherwise. Try getting to know one thing each student is passionate about outside the classroom. Then, encourage them to pursue their interests and curiosities, and challenge them in and out of the classroom. When you give them attention and respect, you'll find that they perform well so as to be worthy of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be available outside of class.\", \"描述\": \"Encourage your students to drop by at lunch or after school. This can make a huge difference for students who may be struggling or who want to pursue a discussion further. Being available for them encourages them to foster a genuine interest in the material, and it's a display of your respect and desire to help them learn.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be strict but fair.\", \"描述\": \"Don't shout at the pupils every chance you get, but on the other hand don't let them walk over you. Show discipline, but don't go over the top, or this will make them behave worse towards you. If a pupil has done well, tell them so and reward them. Likewise if a pupil is struggling, tell him or her to stay behind so that you can help them to find out what's going wrong, or ask another pupil who understands the concept to help the struggling one.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make sure your students understand what you teach.\", \"描述\": \"Don't speak and write too quickly. This will give them time to listen, understand, and copy things down so that they don't miss essential information. Help them absorb your lessons, and encourage them to make connections between topics and outside of class so that they can more fully understand your lessons.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Encourage your students to engage with the material outside of class.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Being a teacher can be very hard and takes a lot of time and patience.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,439 |
How to Be a Good Entertainer
|
1. Making Your Performance Memorable
1-1. Start with a bang.
Audiences tend to be both impatient and judgmental, so you want to capture their attention as soon as possible and hold it for as long as you can. Structure your performance so it begins with something memorable or impressive to break the ice and engage the crowd.
If you’re a stand up, start with a joke about your appearance or something else your audience might notice when they first look at you.
If you’re a musician, lead off with a high energy number, as opposed to a ballad.
Start off confident, but make sure to save your best trick for the end of the performance.
1-2. Have fun onstage.
The reason people go see performers is to be entertained. It’s not entertaining to see a performer going through the motions – audiences want to see performers living out their dreams and leaving it all on the stage.
If you come offstage and you’re not exhausted, then you still had more to give.
Smile! Try putting Vaseline on your teeth to keep your teeth from sticking to your lips.
The more comfortable you get with your performance or routine, the easier it will be for you to have fun.
Improvise something new every time you perform - this will keep your performance from feeling stale.
Don’t bottle your enjoyment up inside – let it out and share it with your audience. They want to live vicariously through you.
1-3. Don’t call attention to your mistakes.
Mistakes happen in life and in art. How entertainers deal with mistakes can separate the artists from the amateurs. If you mess up, don’t worry about it and don’t telegraph your mistake to the audience.
If you a make a mistake, move on. The audience probably won’t even notice if you don’t call it out.
Know that the audience is rooting for you to succeed. If you fall or mess up, they want to see you overcome and move forward.
1-4. End your show in a memorable way.
The end of your show is the last thing your audience will remember, so it's important to end your performance with a bang. If you plan on having an encore, make sure you prepare for it ahead of time.
Leave your audience wanting more. Look at your set list and edit one to two things out.
Know when it’s time to wrap up – sometimes it’s better to end the show early than to prolong something that people clearly aren’t enjoying.
If your venue has a curfew, be respectful of that. Be cognizant of time and don't run over.
2. Taking Care of Your Audience
2-1. Connect with your audience.
A big part of performing is sharing a piece of who you are with your audience. It’s not enough to just perform for them – you also need to engage them emotionally.
The more personal you can make your performance, the more your audience will respond to it.
If you’re a musician, tell stories about your life between songs.
If you’re a stand up, do some crowd work and interact with the audience between jokes.
If you’re a dancer, don’t forget to look out and make eye contact with your audience as you perform.
2-2. Make your audience feel comfortable.
There’s nothing more unnerving than watching a performer flounder on stage. When you’re performing, you’re responsible for your audience’s happiness, so make sure to show up well-prepared and ready to work.
Don’t allow nerves to affect your performance – turn that nervous energy into a more productive performance energy.
Block out and rehearse every portion of your performance so there are no surprises for you or your audience.
2-3. Engage your audience.
Get your audience involved in your performance. Giving them something to do will help them feel like an integral part of the experience. Get them in on the action by asking questions or including them in your jokes or tricks.
If you’re a magician, have at least one trick that requires an audience volunteer.
Make sure to choose a volunteer that actually wants to participate – they won’t have fun if they just want to get off the stage.
If you’re a musician, perform a popular song and let the audience sing along for a verse.
2-4. Read your audience.
As you begin to perform more, you’ll learn that not every audience reacts to your performance the same way. A small, intimate performance in a café is very different from a large concert venue and as a performer, you need to be able to read your audience and give them the kind of performance they want.
If your audience isn’t enjoying the jokes or music you’re performing, be able to adapt on the fly and switch to something that might be more their speed.
Know that you’ll have to be bigger, louder and more energetic the larger the venue and the more people you have watching.
3. Becoming a More Confident Performer
3-1. Master your self-talk.
Self-talk is the internal dialogue that all humans have inside their heads. The more negative your self-talk is, the more it will negatively affect your confidence levels.
Keep a self-talk log where you write down all the negative thoughts that come to mind when you’re practicing.
Rewrite your negative thoughts to be more positive. So “there’s no use in practicing, I’ll never become successful” turns into “successful people have to work hard and if I work hard, some day I’ll be successful too.”
3-2. Highlight your strengths and work on your weaknesses.
All performers have something they’re good at – that’s why people want to watch them. But all performers also have weak spots, and those are the muscles you really need to stretch.
Take a class and work with your instructor to improve on your weaknesses.
Find a fellow performer who is really good at what you’re bad at and ask them for advice.
When rehearsing, don’t practice what you already do well – focus your session on the areas that need improvement and run those parts ad nauseam.
3-3. Practice in front of a mirror.
Regardless of what kind of performer you are, it’s imperative that you see the way you are presenting yourself to an audience. Look at the way you carry yourself, the way you move your body. Practice what you’ll say to introduce a new song or joke.
Set up a camera during your practice session and record yourself performing.
Be critical when watching it back and look for ways you can elevate your performance.
Practice each performance fifty times all the way through before stepping out on stage.
3-4. Only compete with yourself.
Art and performance are completely subjective, so placing yourself in direct competition with someone is else is reductive. Instead of focusing on who else might be performing, focus on how you can make your performance the best you’ve ever done.
Think of the best performance you’ve ever had, then try to top that.
Instead of thinking about what you don’t want to mess up, think of what you want to accomplish.
3-5. Be grateful.
Getting to perform for a living or to perform at all is a luxury. Regardless of how you feel about your craft on any given day, remind yourself that you love performing. This love and passion will shine through your performance and automatically make you a more engaging performer.
Remind yourself why you love performing every time you step out on stage.
If you’re having trouble tapping into gratitude, take a break from performing. You’ll be surprised at how much you miss it.
Tips
Take every opportunity you can to perform. The more confident and comfortable you are on stage, the better you will be as an entertainer.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Your Performance Memorable\\n1-1. Start with a bang.\\nAudiences tend to be both impatient and judgmental, so you want to capture their attention as soon as possible and hold it for as long as you can. Structure your performance so it begins with something memorable or impressive to break the ice and engage the crowd.\\nIf you’re a stand up, start with a joke about your appearance or something else your audience might notice when they first look at you.\\nIf you’re a musician, lead off with a high energy number, as opposed to a ballad.\\nStart off confident, but make sure to save your best trick for the end of the performance.\\n1-2. Have fun onstage.\\nThe reason people go see performers is to be entertained. It’s not entertaining to see a performer going through the motions – audiences want to see performers living out their dreams and leaving it all on the stage.\\nIf you come offstage and you’re not exhausted, then you still had more to give.\\nSmile! Try putting Vaseline on your teeth to keep your teeth from sticking to your lips.\\nThe more comfortable you get with your performance or routine, the easier it will be for you to have fun.\\nImprovise something new every time you perform - this will keep your performance from feeling stale.\\nDon’t bottle your enjoyment up inside – let it out and share it with your audience. They want to live vicariously through you.\\n1-3. Don’t call attention to your mistakes.\\nMistakes happen in life and in art. How entertainers deal with mistakes can separate the artists from the amateurs. If you mess up, don’t worry about it and don’t telegraph your mistake to the audience.\\nIf you a make a mistake, move on. The audience probably won’t even notice if you don’t call it out.\\nKnow that the audience is rooting for you to succeed. If you fall or mess up, they want to see you overcome and move forward.\\n1-4. End your show in a memorable way.\\nThe end of your show is the last thing your audience will remember, so it's important to end your performance with a bang. If you plan on having an encore, make sure you prepare for it ahead of time.\\nLeave your audience wanting more. Look at your set list and edit one to two things out.\\nKnow when it’s time to wrap up – sometimes it’s better to end the show early than to prolong something that people clearly aren’t enjoying.\\nIf your venue has a curfew, be respectful of that. Be cognizant of time and don't run over.\\n2. Taking Care of Your Audience\\n2-1. Connect with your audience.\\nA big part of performing is sharing a piece of who you are with your audience. It’s not enough to just perform for them – you also need to engage them emotionally.\\nThe more personal you can make your performance, the more your audience will respond to it.\\nIf you’re a musician, tell stories about your life between songs.\\nIf you’re a stand up, do some crowd work and interact with the audience between jokes.\\nIf you’re a dancer, don’t forget to look out and make eye contact with your audience as you perform.\\n2-2. Make your audience feel comfortable.\\nThere’s nothing more unnerving than watching a performer flounder on stage. When you’re performing, you’re responsible for your audience’s happiness, so make sure to show up well-prepared and ready to work.\\nDon’t allow nerves to affect your performance – turn that nervous energy into a more productive performance energy.\\nBlock out and rehearse every portion of your performance so there are no surprises for you or your audience.\\n2-3. Engage your audience.\\nGet your audience involved in your performance. Giving them something to do will help them feel like an integral part of the experience. Get them in on the action by asking questions or including them in your jokes or tricks.\\nIf you’re a magician, have at least one trick that requires an audience volunteer.\\nMake sure to choose a volunteer that actually wants to participate – they won’t have fun if they just want to get off the stage.\\nIf you’re a musician, perform a popular song and let the audience sing along for a verse.\\n2-4. Read your audience.\\nAs you begin to perform more, you’ll learn that not every audience reacts to your performance the same way. A small, intimate performance in a café is very different from a large concert venue and as a performer, you need to be able to read your audience and give them the kind of performance they want.\\nIf your audience isn’t enjoying the jokes or music you’re performing, be able to adapt on the fly and switch to something that might be more their speed.\\nKnow that you’ll have to be bigger, louder and more energetic the larger the venue and the more people you have watching.\\n3. Becoming a More Confident Performer\\n3-1. Master your self-talk.\\nSelf-talk is the internal dialogue that all humans have inside their heads. The more negative your self-talk is, the more it will negatively affect your confidence levels.\\nKeep a self-talk log where you write down all the negative thoughts that come to mind when you’re practicing.\\nRewrite your negative thoughts to be more positive. So “there’s no use in practicing, I’ll never become successful” turns into “successful people have to work hard and if I work hard, some day I’ll be successful too.”\\n3-2. Highlight your strengths and work on your weaknesses.\\nAll performers have something they’re good at – that’s why people want to watch them. But all performers also have weak spots, and those are the muscles you really need to stretch.\\nTake a class and work with your instructor to improve on your weaknesses.\\nFind a fellow performer who is really good at what you’re bad at and ask them for advice.\\nWhen rehearsing, don’t practice what you already do well – focus your session on the areas that need improvement and run those parts ad nauseam.\\n3-3. Practice in front of a mirror.\\nRegardless of what kind of performer you are, it’s imperative that you see the way you are presenting yourself to an audience. Look at the way you carry yourself, the way you move your body. Practice what you’ll say to introduce a new song or joke.\\nSet up a camera during your practice session and record yourself performing.\\nBe critical when watching it back and look for ways you can elevate your performance.\\nPractice each performance fifty times all the way through before stepping out on stage.\\n3-4. Only compete with yourself.\\nArt and performance are completely subjective, so placing yourself in direct competition with someone is else is reductive. Instead of focusing on who else might be performing, focus on how you can make your performance the best you’ve ever done.\\nThink of the best performance you’ve ever had, then try to top that.\\nInstead of thinking about what you don’t want to mess up, think of what you want to accomplish.\\n3-5. Be grateful.\\nGetting to perform for a living or to perform at all is a luxury. Regardless of how you feel about your craft on any given day, remind yourself that you love performing. This love and passion will shine through your performance and automatically make you a more engaging performer.\\nRemind yourself why you love performing every time you step out on stage.\\nIf you’re having trouble tapping into gratitude, take a break from performing. You’ll be surprised at how much you miss it.\\nTips\\nTake every opportunity you can to perform. The more confident and comfortable you are on stage, the better you will be as an entertainer.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Entertainers have one of the best and hardest jobs in the world. Night after night, they put themselves on the line in the hopes of connecting with an audience and evoking an emotional response. Some performers are born with amazing stage presence, but if you weren’t, that’s okay. Stage presence is definitely something that can be learned and improved over time.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Your Performance Memorable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start with a bang.\", \"描述\": \"Audiences tend to be both impatient and judgmental, so you want to capture their attention as soon as possible and hold it for as long as you can. Structure your performance so it begins with something memorable or impressive to break the ice and engage the crowd.\\nIf you’re a stand up, start with a joke about your appearance or something else your audience might notice when they first look at you.\\nIf you’re a musician, lead off with a high energy number, as opposed to a ballad.\\nStart off confident, but make sure to save your best trick for the end of the performance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have fun onstage.\", \"描述\": \"The reason people go see performers is to be entertained. It’s not entertaining to see a performer going through the motions – audiences want to see performers living out their dreams and leaving it all on the stage.\\nIf you come offstage and you’re not exhausted, then you still had more to give.\\nSmile! Try putting Vaseline on your teeth to keep your teeth from sticking to your lips.\\nThe more comfortable you get with your performance or routine, the easier it will be for you to have fun.\\nImprovise something new every time you perform - this will keep your performance from feeling stale.\\nDon’t bottle your enjoyment up inside – let it out and share it with your audience. They want to live vicariously through you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t call attention to your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Mistakes happen in life and in art. How entertainers deal with mistakes can separate the artists from the amateurs. If you mess up, don’t worry about it and don’t telegraph your mistake to the audience.\\nIf you a make a mistake, move on. The audience probably won’t even notice if you don’t call it out.\\nKnow that the audience is rooting for you to succeed. If you fall or mess up, they want to see you overcome and move forward.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"End your show in a memorable way.\", \"描述\": \"The end of your show is the last thing your audience will remember, so it's important to end your performance with a bang. If you plan on having an encore, make sure you prepare for it ahead of time.\\nLeave your audience wanting more. Look at your set list and edit one to two things out.\\nKnow when it’s time to wrap up – sometimes it’s better to end the show early than to prolong something that people clearly aren’t enjoying.\\nIf your venue has a curfew, be respectful of that. Be cognizant of time and don't run over.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Your Audience\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Connect with your audience.\", \"描述\": \"A big part of performing is sharing a piece of who you are with your audience. It’s not enough to just perform for them – you also need to engage them emotionally.\\nThe more personal you can make your performance, the more your audience will respond to it.\\nIf you’re a musician, tell stories about your life between songs.\\nIf you’re a stand up, do some crowd work and interact with the audience between jokes.\\nIf you’re a dancer, don’t forget to look out and make eye contact with your audience as you perform.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make your audience feel comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"There’s nothing more unnerving than watching a performer flounder on stage. When you’re performing, you’re responsible for your audience’s happiness, so make sure to show up well-prepared and ready to work.\\nDon’t allow nerves to affect your performance – turn that nervous energy into a more productive performance energy.\\nBlock out and rehearse every portion of your performance so there are no surprises for you or your audience.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Engage your audience.\", \"描述\": \"Get your audience involved in your performance. Giving them something to do will help them feel like an integral part of the experience. Get them in on the action by asking questions or including them in your jokes or tricks.\\nIf you’re a magician, have at least one trick that requires an audience volunteer.\\nMake sure to choose a volunteer that actually wants to participate – they won’t have fun if they just want to get off the stage.\\nIf you’re a musician, perform a popular song and let the audience sing along for a verse.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Read your audience.\", \"描述\": \"As you begin to perform more, you’ll learn that not every audience reacts to your performance the same way. A small, intimate performance in a café is very different from a large concert venue and as a performer, you need to be able to read your audience and give them the kind of performance they want.\\nIf your audience isn’t enjoying the jokes or music you’re performing, be able to adapt on the fly and switch to something that might be more their speed.\\nKnow that you’ll have to be bigger, louder and more energetic the larger the venue and the more people you have watching.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Becoming a More Confident Performer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Master your self-talk.\", \"描述\": \"Self-talk is the internal dialogue that all humans have inside their heads. The more negative your self-talk is, the more it will negatively affect your confidence levels.\\nKeep a self-talk log where you write down all the negative thoughts that come to mind when you’re practicing.\\nRewrite your negative thoughts to be more positive. So “there’s no use in practicing, I’ll never become successful” turns into “successful people have to work hard and if I work hard, some day I’ll be successful too.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Highlight your strengths and work on your weaknesses.\", \"描述\": \"All performers have something they’re good at – that’s why people want to watch them. But all performers also have weak spots, and those are the muscles you really need to stretch.\\nTake a class and work with your instructor to improve on your weaknesses.\\nFind a fellow performer who is really good at what you’re bad at and ask them for advice.\\nWhen rehearsing, don’t practice what you already do well – focus your session on the areas that need improvement and run those parts ad nauseam.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice in front of a mirror.\", \"描述\": \"Regardless of what kind of performer you are, it’s imperative that you see the way you are presenting yourself to an audience. Look at the way you carry yourself, the way you move your body. Practice what you’ll say to introduce a new song or joke.\\nSet up a camera during your practice session and record yourself performing.\\nBe critical when watching it back and look for ways you can elevate your performance.\\nPractice each performance fifty times all the way through before stepping out on stage.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Only compete with yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Art and performance are completely subjective, so placing yourself in direct competition with someone is else is reductive. Instead of focusing on who else might be performing, focus on how you can make your performance the best you’ve ever done.\\nThink of the best performance you’ve ever had, then try to top that.\\nInstead of thinking about what you don’t want to mess up, think of what you want to accomplish.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be grateful.\", \"描述\": \"Getting to perform for a living or to perform at all is a luxury. Regardless of how you feel about your craft on any given day, remind yourself that you love performing. This love and passion will shine through your performance and automatically make you a more engaging performer.\\nRemind yourself why you love performing every time you step out on stage.\\nIf you’re having trouble tapping into gratitude, take a break from performing. You’ll be surprised at how much you miss it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take every opportunity you can to perform. The more confident and comfortable you are on stage, the better you will be as an entertainer.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,440 |
How to Be a Good Fast Bowler
|
1. Improving Your Delivery
1-1. Take a grip that's more effective for fast bowling.
Place your fore and middle fingers parallel to the vertical seam running down the center of the ball. Then, wrap your thumb around the bottom so that it rests directly on the seam. The ball should fit snugly in your hand, with no wiggling or slipping.
Becoming a better fast bowler starts with knowing how to hold the ball for greater accuracy and control.
1-2. Fine-tune your run up.
Experiment with the speed, length, and angle of your approach and settle on one that feels natural. Many fast bowlers favor a long run up that gives them plenty of room to build momentum before they hit the crease. Others do better with a relatively short run up. There’s no single best length—the key is to figure out what's most comfortable for you.
Several of the best fast bowlers in the world make use of fairly short run ups. Some take as few as 8-10 paces before delivering the ball.
1-3. Use your wrist to generate momentum.
At the moment of release, snap your wrist and follow through with your entire arm until it comes to a stop just above waist height. Giving the ball a little push as it leaves your hand will allow you to channel your full power into the bowl, adding considerably to your overall speed.
Try not to lock your wrist. Keep it relaxed and facing upwards so that you’ll be in a better position to whip it as you come to the end of your run up.
Practice safely. Moving through an increased range of motion at high speed can place a lot of stress on your wrist if you’re not careful.
1-4. Prioritize speed over precise placement.
Before you start obsessing too much about line and length, focus on getting maximal acceleration. Make each delivery as fast as you can without sacrificing control. High-speed accuracy will come naturally later on, but it’s hard to develop pace once you’ve become set in your ways.
Make an effort to put the same amount of intensity in each delivery as you continue to refine your technique.
2. Mastering Basic Fast Bowling Skills
2-1. Change up your line of delivery to confuse the batsman.
Bowl different lines to keep the batsman guessing and bait them into making a mistake. If you always bowl to the off side, leg side, or midline, the opposing team’s batsman will quickly catch on and you’ll give up more runs as a result.
“Line” refers to the path the ball takes as it sails down the pitch. A bowl directed to the batsman’s front side is said to be “off,” while one that goes behind them is known as “leg.”
2-2. Aim for a good length with each bowl.
Try to deliver the ball so that it touches down about 6–8 metres (20–26 ft) in front of the batsman. Bowling a “good length” (where the ball bounces near the middle of the pitch) makes it harder for the batsman to predict the height and angle of the ball by the time it reaches them.
“Length” indicates the point along the pitch where the ball bounces on its way to the batsman.
By contrast, “short” bowls bounce closer to the bowler, while “full” bowls land closer to the batsman. These types of deliveries are easier to hit, since they either give the batsman more time to watch the ball or telegraph the line in advance.
2-3. Learn to bowl swing.
Swing is an advanced delivery technique that involves getting the ball to curve in mid-air. Keep the ball polished smooth on one side of the seam between innings while leaving it roughed up on the other. The uneven airflow around the ball will cause it to change directions suddenly, throwing off the batsman’s aim at the last second.
Swing ordinarily causes the ball to veer in the opposite direction of the polished surface. To make the ball curve to the off side, for example, bowl it with the polished side facing your right, or the batsman’s left.
Be aware that swing is considered tampering in some leagues, and could result in a penalty or disqualification.
2-4. Practice bowling Yorkers.
A Yorker is a bowl that lands directly at or just in front of the batsman’s feet. Deliver the ball straight down the middle of the pitch so that it makes contact right around the popping crease. When bowled just right, a Yorker forces the batsman to adjust their footing, leading to either a hit on the wicket or a leg-before-wicket dismissal.
Yorkers are one of the hardest bowls in cricket to pull off effectively, which means getting good at them will require a lot of practice.
3. Strengthening Your Mental Game
3-1. Study the batsman carefully.
Vary your deliveries and watch how the batsman responds. Altering your line, length, and speed every few throws will show you how they instinctively react to different deliveries, which will then give you a chance to exploit their weaknesses.
For example, deliver one bowl a little wide on off side to see if the batsman will attempt to reach for a shot, then bowl the next one short to see whether they play forward or back.
The more holes you spot in the batsman’s defense, the more likely you are to come up with a strategy for getting them dismissed.
3-2. Stay focused.
Don't allow yourself to be distracted by the taunts of the batsman or the opposing team’s fans. Your attention should be on the ball, the pitch, the batsman in play and nothing else. It's crucial that you be able to keep your cool, no matter what turns the game takes.
Play your best all the way to the end—imagine that each delivery you bowl is the most important in the game.
A standard game of cricket can last hours. Keep this in mind during practice to develop your mental endurance along with your physical stamina.
3-3. Build confidence in your skills.
Approach the bowling crease as though you can’t lose. That way, you’ll be able to concentrate entirely on the task at hand rather than worrying about what will happen if you fail. If you doubt your ability to outsmart the batsman, there's more of a chance that you'll come up short.
The slightest hesitation could cause you to lose valuable accuracy or control, allowing the opposing team to score runs.
3-4. Have fun.
Don’t let the stress of a few intense innings take away from your love of the game. At the end of the day, you’re there to enjoy yourself and engage in a little friendly competition. Chances are, you’ll find that you actually play better when you’re not consumed by the need to win.
4. Conditioning Your Body
4-1. Increase your endurance with cardio exercises.
If you’re in good shape, you’ll be a better cricket player. Aim to get 150 minutes of moderate cardio, or 75 minutes of vigorous cardio, per week.
You can do activities like running, jumping rope, bicycling, and swimming.
4-2. Do weight training to increase your strength.
In addition to getting aerobic exercise, you should also work out all of your major muscle groups twice per week or more. Increasing your muscle strength will help you be a good bowler.
4-3. Eat a healthy diet.
To stay healthy and fit, aim to eat a diet comprised of a variety of healthy foods. The majority of your diet should include lean protein, fresh fruits and vegetables, and complex carbohydrates. Limit your intake of processed foods, items containing saturated fats, and sugar.
Be sure to stay hydrated as well. Aim to drink 15.5 cups (3.7 L) of water each day if you are a male, or 11.5 cups (2.7 L) of water per day if you are a female.
Tips
When it comes to a sport as technically complex as cricket, there’s no substitute for experience. As you continue to practice and play, you’ll gain a better understanding of the finer points of the game.
Study games featuring world-class fast bowlers and take notes about their delivery style and what makes it so successful.
Invest in a pair of supportive, high-quality spikes to improve your comfort and stability during long innings.
Warnings
Avoid practicing fast bowling techniques for extended periods of time without rest. After a while, the repeated movements can place quite a bit of strain on the muscles of shoulder, abdomen, and lower back.[18]
X
Research source
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Improving Your Delivery\\n1-1. Take a grip that's more effective for fast bowling.\\nPlace your fore and middle fingers parallel to the vertical seam running down the center of the ball. Then, wrap your thumb around the bottom so that it rests directly on the seam. The ball should fit snugly in your hand, with no wiggling or slipping.\\nBecoming a better fast bowler starts with knowing how to hold the ball for greater accuracy and control.\\n1-2. Fine-tune your run up.\\nExperiment with the speed, length, and angle of your approach and settle on one that feels natural. Many fast bowlers favor a long run up that gives them plenty of room to build momentum before they hit the crease. Others do better with a relatively short run up. There’s no single best length—the key is to figure out what's most comfortable for you.\\nSeveral of the best fast bowlers in the world make use of fairly short run ups. Some take as few as 8-10 paces before delivering the ball.\\n1-3. Use your wrist to generate momentum.\\nAt the moment of release, snap your wrist and follow through with your entire arm until it comes to a stop just above waist height. Giving the ball a little push as it leaves your hand will allow you to channel your full power into the bowl, adding considerably to your overall speed.\\nTry not to lock your wrist. Keep it relaxed and facing upwards so that you’ll be in a better position to whip it as you come to the end of your run up.\\nPractice safely. Moving through an increased range of motion at high speed can place a lot of stress on your wrist if you’re not careful.\\n1-4. Prioritize speed over precise placement.\\nBefore you start obsessing too much about line and length, focus on getting maximal acceleration. Make each delivery as fast as you can without sacrificing control. High-speed accuracy will come naturally later on, but it’s hard to develop pace once you’ve become set in your ways.\\nMake an effort to put the same amount of intensity in each delivery as you continue to refine your technique.\\n2. Mastering Basic Fast Bowling Skills\\n2-1. Change up your line of delivery to confuse the batsman.\\nBowl different lines to keep the batsman guessing and bait them into making a mistake. If you always bowl to the off side, leg side, or midline, the opposing team’s batsman will quickly catch on and you’ll give up more runs as a result.\\n“Line” refers to the path the ball takes as it sails down the pitch. A bowl directed to the batsman’s front side is said to be “off,” while one that goes behind them is known as “leg.”\\n2-2. Aim for a good length with each bowl.\\nTry to deliver the ball so that it touches down about 6–8 metres (20–26 ft) in front of the batsman. Bowling a “good length” (where the ball bounces near the middle of the pitch) makes it harder for the batsman to predict the height and angle of the ball by the time it reaches them.\\n“Length” indicates the point along the pitch where the ball bounces on its way to the batsman.\\nBy contrast, “short” bowls bounce closer to the bowler, while “full” bowls land closer to the batsman. These types of deliveries are easier to hit, since they either give the batsman more time to watch the ball or telegraph the line in advance.\\n2-3. Learn to bowl swing.\\nSwing is an advanced delivery technique that involves getting the ball to curve in mid-air. Keep the ball polished smooth on one side of the seam between innings while leaving it roughed up on the other. The uneven airflow around the ball will cause it to change directions suddenly, throwing off the batsman’s aim at the last second.\\nSwing ordinarily causes the ball to veer in the opposite direction of the polished surface. To make the ball curve to the off side, for example, bowl it with the polished side facing your right, or the batsman’s left.\\nBe aware that swing is considered tampering in some leagues, and could result in a penalty or disqualification.\\n2-4. Practice bowling Yorkers.\\nA Yorker is a bowl that lands directly at or just in front of the batsman’s feet. Deliver the ball straight down the middle of the pitch so that it makes contact right around the popping crease. When bowled just right, a Yorker forces the batsman to adjust their footing, leading to either a hit on the wicket or a leg-before-wicket dismissal.\\nYorkers are one of the hardest bowls in cricket to pull off effectively, which means getting good at them will require a lot of practice.\\n3. Strengthening Your Mental Game\\n3-1. Study the batsman carefully.\\nVary your deliveries and watch how the batsman responds. Altering your line, length, and speed every few throws will show you how they instinctively react to different deliveries, which will then give you a chance to exploit their weaknesses.\\nFor example, deliver one bowl a little wide on off side to see if the batsman will attempt to reach for a shot, then bowl the next one short to see whether they play forward or back.\\nThe more holes you spot in the batsman’s defense, the more likely you are to come up with a strategy for getting them dismissed.\\n3-2. Stay focused.\\nDon't allow yourself to be distracted by the taunts of the batsman or the opposing team’s fans. Your attention should be on the ball, the pitch, the batsman in play and nothing else. It's crucial that you be able to keep your cool, no matter what turns the game takes.\\nPlay your best all the way to the end—imagine that each delivery you bowl is the most important in the game.\\nA standard game of cricket can last hours. Keep this in mind during practice to develop your mental endurance along with your physical stamina.\\n3-3. Build confidence in your skills.\\nApproach the bowling crease as though you can’t lose. That way, you’ll be able to concentrate entirely on the task at hand rather than worrying about what will happen if you fail. If you doubt your ability to outsmart the batsman, there's more of a chance that you'll come up short.\\nThe slightest hesitation could cause you to lose valuable accuracy or control, allowing the opposing team to score runs.\\n3-4. Have fun.\\nDon’t let the stress of a few intense innings take away from your love of the game. At the end of the day, you’re there to enjoy yourself and engage in a little friendly competition. Chances are, you’ll find that you actually play better when you’re not consumed by the need to win.\\n4. Conditioning Your Body\\n4-1. Increase your endurance with cardio exercises.\\nIf you’re in good shape, you’ll be a better cricket player. Aim to get 150 minutes of moderate cardio, or 75 minutes of vigorous cardio, per week.\\nYou can do activities like running, jumping rope, bicycling, and swimming.\\n4-2. Do weight training to increase your strength.\\nIn addition to getting aerobic exercise, you should also work out all of your major muscle groups twice per week or more. Increasing your muscle strength will help you be a good bowler.\\n4-3. Eat a healthy diet.\\nTo stay healthy and fit, aim to eat a diet comprised of a variety of healthy foods. The majority of your diet should include lean protein, fresh fruits and vegetables, and complex carbohydrates. Limit your intake of processed foods, items containing saturated fats, and sugar.\\nBe sure to stay hydrated as well. Aim to drink 15.5 cups (3.7 L) of water each day if you are a male, or 11.5 cups (2.7 L) of water per day if you are a female.\\nTips\\nWhen it comes to a sport as technically complex as cricket, there’s no substitute for experience. As you continue to practice and play, you’ll gain a better understanding of the finer points of the game.\\nStudy games featuring world-class fast bowlers and take notes about their delivery style and what makes it so successful.\\nInvest in a pair of supportive, high-quality spikes to improve your comfort and stability during long innings.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid practicing fast bowling techniques for extended periods of time without rest. After a while, the repeated movements can place quite a bit of strain on the muscles of shoulder, abdomen, and lower back.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Fast bowling is one of the two major delivery styles in the sport of cricket, the other being spin bowling. A competent fast bowler can be a major asset to their team, but acquiring the skills necessary to get the ball to the wicket takes hard work and dedicated practice. You can step up your game by breaking down the mechanics of fundamental bowling techniques and strengthening your ability to focus under pressure. If you are looking for 10-pin bowling tips, click here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Delivery\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a grip that's more effective for fast bowling.\", \"描述\": \"Place your fore and middle fingers parallel to the vertical seam running down the center of the ball. Then, wrap your thumb around the bottom so that it rests directly on the seam. The ball should fit snugly in your hand, with no wiggling or slipping.\\nBecoming a better fast bowler starts with knowing how to hold the ball for greater accuracy and control.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Fine-tune your run up.\", \"描述\": \"Experiment with the speed, length, and angle of your approach and settle on one that feels natural. Many fast bowlers favor a long run up that gives them plenty of room to build momentum before they hit the crease. Others do better with a relatively short run up. There’s no single best length—the key is to figure out what's most comfortable for you.\\nSeveral of the best fast bowlers in the world make use of fairly short run ups. Some take as few as 8-10 paces before delivering the ball.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use your wrist to generate momentum.\", \"描述\": \"At the moment of release, snap your wrist and follow through with your entire arm until it comes to a stop just above waist height. Giving the ball a little push as it leaves your hand will allow you to channel your full power into the bowl, adding considerably to your overall speed.\\nTry not to lock your wrist. Keep it relaxed and facing upwards so that you’ll be in a better position to whip it as you come to the end of your run up.\\nPractice safely. Moving through an increased range of motion at high speed can place a lot of stress on your wrist if you’re not careful.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Prioritize speed over precise placement.\", \"描述\": \"Before you start obsessing too much about line and length, focus on getting maximal acceleration. Make each delivery as fast as you can without sacrificing control. High-speed accuracy will come naturally later on, but it’s hard to develop pace once you’ve become set in your ways.\\nMake an effort to put the same amount of intensity in each delivery as you continue to refine your technique.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mastering Basic Fast Bowling Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Change up your line of delivery to confuse the batsman.\", \"描述\": \"Bowl different lines to keep the batsman guessing and bait them into making a mistake. If you always bowl to the off side, leg side, or midline, the opposing team’s batsman will quickly catch on and you’ll give up more runs as a result.\\n“Line” refers to the path the ball takes as it sails down the pitch. A bowl directed to the batsman’s front side is said to be “off,” while one that goes behind them is known as “leg.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Aim for a good length with each bowl.\", \"描述\": \"Try to deliver the ball so that it touches down about 6–8 metres (20–26 ft) in front of the batsman. Bowling a “good length” (where the ball bounces near the middle of the pitch) makes it harder for the batsman to predict the height and angle of the ball by the time it reaches them.\\n“Length” indicates the point along the pitch where the ball bounces on its way to the batsman.\\nBy contrast, “short” bowls bounce closer to the bowler, while “full” bowls land closer to the batsman. These types of deliveries are easier to hit, since they either give the batsman more time to watch the ball or telegraph the line in advance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to bowl swing.\", \"描述\": \"Swing is an advanced delivery technique that involves getting the ball to curve in mid-air. Keep the ball polished smooth on one side of the seam between innings while leaving it roughed up on the other. The uneven airflow around the ball will cause it to change directions suddenly, throwing off the batsman’s aim at the last second.\\nSwing ordinarily causes the ball to veer in the opposite direction of the polished surface. To make the ball curve to the off side, for example, bowl it with the polished side facing your right, or the batsman’s left.\\nBe aware that swing is considered tampering in some leagues, and could result in a penalty or disqualification.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice bowling Yorkers.\", \"描述\": \"A Yorker is a bowl that lands directly at or just in front of the batsman’s feet. Deliver the ball straight down the middle of the pitch so that it makes contact right around the popping crease. When bowled just right, a Yorker forces the batsman to adjust their footing, leading to either a hit on the wicket or a leg-before-wicket dismissal.\\nYorkers are one of the hardest bowls in cricket to pull off effectively, which means getting good at them will require a lot of practice.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Strengthening Your Mental Game\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Study the batsman carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Vary your deliveries and watch how the batsman responds. Altering your line, length, and speed every few throws will show you how they instinctively react to different deliveries, which will then give you a chance to exploit their weaknesses.\\nFor example, deliver one bowl a little wide on off side to see if the batsman will attempt to reach for a shot, then bowl the next one short to see whether they play forward or back.\\nThe more holes you spot in the batsman’s defense, the more likely you are to come up with a strategy for getting them dismissed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay focused.\", \"描述\": \"Don't allow yourself to be distracted by the taunts of the batsman or the opposing team’s fans. Your attention should be on the ball, the pitch, the batsman in play and nothing else. It's crucial that you be able to keep your cool, no matter what turns the game takes.\\nPlay your best all the way to the end—imagine that each delivery you bowl is the most important in the game.\\nA standard game of cricket can last hours. Keep this in mind during practice to develop your mental endurance along with your physical stamina.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build confidence in your skills.\", \"描述\": \"Approach the bowling crease as though you can’t lose. That way, you’ll be able to concentrate entirely on the task at hand rather than worrying about what will happen if you fail. If you doubt your ability to outsmart the batsman, there's more of a chance that you'll come up short.\\nThe slightest hesitation could cause you to lose valuable accuracy or control, allowing the opposing team to score runs.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have fun.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t let the stress of a few intense innings take away from your love of the game. At the end of the day, you’re there to enjoy yourself and engage in a little friendly competition. Chances are, you’ll find that you actually play better when you’re not consumed by the need to win.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Conditioning Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Increase your endurance with cardio exercises.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re in good shape, you’ll be a better cricket player. Aim to get 150 minutes of moderate cardio, or 75 minutes of vigorous cardio, per week.\\nYou can do activities like running, jumping rope, bicycling, and swimming.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do weight training to increase your strength.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to getting aerobic exercise, you should also work out all of your major muscle groups twice per week or more. Increasing your muscle strength will help you be a good bowler.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy diet.\", \"描述\": \"To stay healthy and fit, aim to eat a diet comprised of a variety of healthy foods. The majority of your diet should include lean protein, fresh fruits and vegetables, and complex carbohydrates. Limit your intake of processed foods, items containing saturated fats, and sugar.\\nBe sure to stay hydrated as well. Aim to drink 15.5 cups (3.7 L) of water each day if you are a male, or 11.5 cups (2.7 L) of water per day if you are a female.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"When it comes to a sport as technically complex as cricket, there’s no substitute for experience. As you continue to practice and play, you’ll gain a better understanding of the finer points of the game.\\n\", \"Study games featuring world-class fast bowlers and take notes about their delivery style and what makes it so successful.\\n\", \"Invest in a pair of supportive, high-quality spikes to improve your comfort and stability during long innings.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid practicing fast bowling techniques for extended periods of time without rest. After a while, the repeated movements can place quite a bit of strain on the muscles of shoulder, abdomen, and lower back.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,441 |
How to Be a Good Father
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1. Being Present
1-1. Make time for your kids.
Your children don't care if you've just had a big promotion at your company or whether or not you own the most expensive house on the block. What they do care about is whether or not you'll be home in time for dinner, if you'll take them to the baseball game on Sunday, and if you'll be around for movie night that week. If you want to be a good father, then you have to set aside time every day for your children -- or at least every week -- no matter how busy you are.
Plug this time into your schedule. Maybe your best nights for your children are Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. Take the time to put in extra care during those days, and don't let other commitments get in the way.
If you have more than one child, then you should make time to see each child individually, so your unique relationships can develop.
If you're so tired that you can't possibly make yourself get up to basketball with your child, do something else with them instead, like watching a basketball game or a basketball-themed movie. It's important that you're there in some capacity.
1-2. Be there for the milestones.
Though planning "daddy time" for your kids each week is a great way to strengthen your relationship, you should also try to be there for important milestones in their lives. Arrange your work schedule so that you can be there for your child's first day of school, your child's first big sporting event, or your child's high school graduation.
Your children will remember these moments for the rest of their lives, and having you be there will mean a lot.
You may be very busy when one of your kids is about to hit a milestone, but if you miss out, you'll regret it later on.
1-3. Teach your children the important lessons.
You should also be present to teach your children how to complete the basic tasks of life. You can help your son use the bathroom, teach your children to brush their teeth properly, help them learn how to ride a bike, and teach them to drive when the time comes. You can also teach your sons how to shave and maintain good hygiene. Your kids will need you to learn the big life lessons as well as the small everyday tasks.
Split these lessons with your co-parent. You should both teach your children the important things they need to know to grow up.
Help your children learn from their mistakes. If they've done something wrong, you should help them see why and talk about how to avoid the behavior in the future instead of simply punishing them and moving on.
Praise your child’s efforts constantly and be gentle with your criticisms. Attitude will go a long way as your child develops self-esteem.
1-4. Develop strong communication.
Being present for the important moments in your children's lives is very important, and so is being able to communicate with your children when you're there. You don't always have to do something exciting with your kids for them to enjoy hanging out with you, you just have to focus on being able to communicate with them to understand their concerns and struggles.
Make sure to check in with your kids every day, so that you know what they're worried about, what they have coming in that week, and what's on their minds.
Don't just superficially ask, "How was your day?" without really wanting to know the answer.
If your children are teenagers or busy college students, then they may not want to discuss the details of their days with you. Just make sure to check in often enough that they know you care without feeling smothered.
1-5. Plan trips with your kids.
To be a good father, you should take the time to go trips with your kids -- with or without their second parent. You can take a yearly fishing trip with your daughters, a trip to the beach with your son, or a camping trip that your kids will never forget. Whatever you do, try to make it special, memorable, and something that can be repeated at least once a year so that you've developed a fun daddy-centric routine.
If the children's mother is present during the trips, take some time to bond solo with your kids when you can.
Planning these trips a few months in advance will give your kids something fun and different to look forward to.
1-6. Make time for yourself.
Though it's important to be there for your kids, you should try to get some "me time" when you can, whether it's spending Sunday afternoon doing your own thing, or taking half an hour to run every morning or winding down with a good book every night before bed. You should put your kids' interests before your own most of the time, but don't completely neglect yourself, either.
If you don't make time for yourself, you won't be able to relax, recharge your batteries, and give your kids the time and attention they deserve.
You can have a special room or chair in the house where your kids know that you should not be disturbed. Help them get used to the idea of "me time" and explain that you're going to be doing your own thing for a little while -- unless they really need you.
2. Being a Fair Disciplinarian
2-1. Reward your children appropriately.
Being a disciplinarian isn't all about punishing your children when they've made a mistake. It's also about rewarding them when they've done something good so that they're encouraged and want to repeat the behavior. Whether they've gotten straight A's, helped a younger sibling with a tough task, or were mature enough to walk away from a fight, you should let them know how proud you are of them, take them out to their favorite restaurant, or just do whatever you can to let them know how much you appreciate their good behavior.
When your children are younger, rewarding them with affection can go a long way in helping them see how proud you are.
Acknowledge your child’s efforts and praise them for trying. Aim to give 3 praises for every 1 criticism.
Though giving your children a treat or a new toy when they've behaved well occasionally can reinforce good behavior, you shouldn't have toys or treats as the only incentive your children have for acting well. They should be motivated because you've taught them to separate right from wrong.
Don't reward your children for something that is expected of them, like doing chores around the house or cleaning up after themselves. If you do, then they'll feel like they're doing you a favor.
2-2. Punish your children appropriately.
To be a fair disciplinarian, you'll have to punish your children when they've made a mistake. This doesn't mean getting physical or psychologically cruel -- it just means letting your kids know when they've made a mistake and showing that there are consequences for their actions. Once your child is old enough to reason, they should know when they've made a mistake.
Talk to your co-parent about the rules in your home and what the next steps are for your child’s character development.
Make sure that you and your co-parent agree on the punishment for the children. The consequences should be the same, whether whichever parent witnessed the action. This will help you avoid going into "good cop, bad cop" mode with your co-parent.
2-3. Be consistent.
Being consistent is just as important as having a system of punishments and rewards. If your child is misbehaving, the consequences should be the same every time, even if it's inconvenient or you're tired or out in public. And if your child does something great, don't forget to make them feel special, no matter how tired or stressed out you are.
If you don't act consistent, then your children will know that your reactions can be influenced by your moods.
2-4. Don't yell.
Though you may feel enraged by your children's behavior, yelling is not the solution. If you have to yell, try yelling when you're alone, in the shower, or into a pillow. But don't yell at your children, no matter how bad the urge is. You can raise your voice slightly to let them know they've made a mistake, but if you yell or scream, they'll be afraid of you and won't want to communicate.
Though it may be tough, you shouldn't let your children see you lose control.
2-5. Don't get violent.
No matter how angry you are, you should avoid hitting, hurting, or grabbing your children. This will hurt them physically and emotionally and will make them want to avoid you at all costs. If your children think that you may get violent, they will shut down and won't want to be around you. You should avoid being violent around your children, or around their mother, if you want to gain their respect.
2-6. Be respected and loved.
It's important that your children know that you're a strict disciplinarian and that they can't pull a 'fast one' on you, but it's equally important that they want your love and affection and have an amazing time bonding with you. To be a good father, you need to toe the line between enforcing tough lessons and also making your children feel loved and appreciated.
If you're too concerned about being respected, then your children may not feel comfortable enough to open up to you.
If you're too concerned about being loved, then your children may see you as a pushover who won't lay down the law.
3. Being a Good Role Model
3-1. Lead by example.
If you want to lead by your example, then your motto should be, "Do as I say and as I do," so your children know you're not being hypocritical when you teach them right from wrong. If you want your children to act in a way that meets your expectations, then they should see the positive behavior from you first. Here are some ways that you can lead by example:
If you don't want your children to smoke or drink excessively, for example, then you shouldn't do these things in front of them -- or at all.
If you want your children to treat people with kindness and respect, then they have to see you treating people, from the waiter in your local restaurant to a telemarketer, with basic respect.
If you want your children to not pick fights, then don't pick a fight with their second parent right in front of them.
3-2. Treat the children's second parent with respect.
If you want to be a good role model, then you have to treat the children's parent with respect. If you're married to them, then you should let them see how much you love them, help them out, and enjoy their company. If you're mean to your own parent, then your children will see that it's okay to be mean to them or other people because you do it.
Part of treating the children's second parent with respect means sharing childcare and household duties with them.
Let your children see you praising their parent and giving them the love and affection that they deserve.
You should not only treat the children's second parent with respect, but love them and work on maintaining a loving, fun, and nurturing relationship. If the children's parents are happy, then everyone should be happy.
If you and the children's second parent are divorced, then you should never say a bad word about their parent to them, even if you're not on the best terms. Letting them see your less-than-ideal relationship with their parent will make them stressed and confused.
3-3. Admit your mistakes.
You don't have to be perfect to be a good role model. In fact, it's better if you're not perfect because then your children will see that nobody's perfect and that everybody makes mistakes. If you've made a mistake, like forgetting to pick your child up from school at the right time, or losing your temper, you should apologize and say that you know you've made a mistake.
If you can swallow your pride in front of your children, then they'll see that it's okay for them to admit when they've done something wrong, too.
Admitting when you're wrong builds more character than "doing the right thing" every single time.
3-4. Help out around the house.
If you want your children to help out around the house, then you should help out around the house, too, no matter how all-consuming your job may be. Let them see you doing the dishes, cleaning the counters, and vacuuming the carpet, and they'll want to help out too. If they think that cleaning up is just "a mom's job," then they'll be much less likely to help out when the time comes.
Helping out around the house will not only make your wife happy, but it'll help your children see that you and your wife work as a team and that they should join in.
3-5. Earn your children's respect.
Respect is earned, not given, and you should do what you can so that your children respect you as a father. If you're not around a lot, yell at their mother, or are only occasionally in the mood to discipline them, then they won't respect you just because you're their father. You should act in a way that is admirable, honest, and consistent so that your children see that you're a model father and a person worthy of their admiration.
Your children shouldn't worship you and think you're perfect -- they should see that you're only human and want to do well by them.
3-6. Shower your children with love and affection.
Though you may think being a good role model means being slightly distant but always doing the right thing, it actually means being connected enough to give your children kisses and hugs, and to let them know how much they mean to you. Don't let a day go by without saying "I love you," giving your children physical affection, and letting them know how much they mean to you.
Your children long for love and affection from you, no matter what age they are.
Praise your children and let them know that your life wouldn't be the same without them.
4. Being Understanding
4-1. Accept that your children aren't you.
Though you may have wanted your children to keep running the family business, attend your alma mater, or be a high school soccer star like you were, you have to accept the fact that your children are their own people with their own needs and desires, and that they may not align with yours. You may think that your path is the only way to happiness, but to be a good father, you have to accept that your children may have a different idea of how to run their lives.
Though you may think that you're doing your best by telling your children what to do or how to live their lives, you're actually hurting their independence by trying to control them.
It takes time to accept your children's desires. If you don't immediately understand why your child wants to be an artist when you are a doctor, ask for them to explain it to you and take the time to listen and understand.
If you try to control your children too much, they'll resent you and will stop opening up.
Let your children make their own decisions by letting them be independent and open-minded. You may want them to play baseball, but sign them up for a variety of activities and let them decide what they like best.
4-2. Support your child (ren).
This means supporting your child's choices and decisions. This could be supporting their identities, such as gender and sexual orientation, or their career choice, as well as making big decisions without judgement and with acceptance—even if you don't fully understand. Children thrive when their parents actively promote their positive growth and development. They look to you for guidance as they grow from childhood to adulthood and independence—you've been through it, so you understand how confusing and difficult it can be. Children need to know that they are loved for who they are and that you will always be there for them.
4-3. Be aware of the changing times.
To be a good father, you have to understand that your children aren't growing up in the same environment that you were raised in -- even if you're raising them in the same time. With globalization, the influence of social media, and the changing politics in today's society, it's likely that your children are less sheltered than you are and are more aware of the problems and changes in today's society.
Therefore, be aware that things like body piercing, premarital sex, and world travel are more common today than they were in your time. Accept that your children are a product of the times and that they may want to explore the world more than you did.
You may feel like you know exactly how the world should work, but you should let your children express themselves and share their perspectives with you.
4-4. Accept your children's mistakes.
If you want to be an understanding father, then you have to accept that, like you, your children aren't perfect, and that they're bound to make mistakes. Life is full of mistakes that help your children learn, and you should accept that many lessons are necessary -- whether your child gets into a minor car accident, fails a test because they didn't study, or made a foolish purchase with their savings.
If you don't let your children fail once in a while, then they won't learn anything. Though you may want to shelter and protect them, letting them make their own mistakes will help them make more informed decisions.
You should still discipline your children appropriately when they make a mistake, but you should also talk about what they did wrong and let them see the error of their ways instead of just yelling at them.
4-5. Understand if your children are struggling.
If you want to be a good father, then you have to be aware of when your children are having a particularly hard time and be attentive to your needs. Maybe your little girl is struggling because you moved to a new town and she doesn't have any friends, or maybe your son is going through his first break-up and is emotionally wiped.
Though you can't completely excuse your children's distant or emotional behavior, you should be aware of what's going through their heads so you can be more understanding and talk to them when they're struggling.
Just saying, "I know you're having a hard time. Do you want to talk about it?" will help your children see how much you care.
Try putting yourself in your child's shoes. If you're frustrated, understanding where your child is coming from will help you understand their behavior.
Prioritize your children by always being accessible for talks, even if you don’t fully agree with your child’s choices.
4-6. Don't place unreasonable expectations on your children.
A child's life can be filled with pressures, from siblings to kids at school to teachers to coaches. Help your child understand their desires and assess their capabilities and limitations. Help them set achievable goals. Encourage them to meet their full potential but avoid living vicariously through them by expecting them to achieve what you had achieved or hoped to have achieved.
4-7. Realize that a father's job is never done.
Do not assume that once your children turn 18, or they have a college degree, that your work raising them is done. Although it is important to encourage your children to become financially and emotionally independent, it is also important to let them know that you care and are always there for them and that they are valued.
Tips
Always speak with your kids, not at them.
Ask your dad and/or granddad about their experiences in raising kids, and ask them about anything you don't understand.
Always show patience and understanding.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Present\\n1-1. Make time for your kids.\\nYour children don't care if you've just had a big promotion at your company or whether or not you own the most expensive house on the block. What they do care about is whether or not you'll be home in time for dinner, if you'll take them to the baseball game on Sunday, and if you'll be around for movie night that week. If you want to be a good father, then you have to set aside time every day for your children -- or at least every week -- no matter how busy you are.\\nPlug this time into your schedule. Maybe your best nights for your children are Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. Take the time to put in extra care during those days, and don't let other commitments get in the way.\\nIf you have more than one child, then you should make time to see each child individually, so your unique relationships can develop.\\nIf you're so tired that you can't possibly make yourself get up to basketball with your child, do something else with them instead, like watching a basketball game or a basketball-themed movie. It's important that you're there in some capacity.\\n1-2. Be there for the milestones.\\nThough planning \\\"daddy time\\\" for your kids each week is a great way to strengthen your relationship, you should also try to be there for important milestones in their lives. Arrange your work schedule so that you can be there for your child's first day of school, your child's first big sporting event, or your child's high school graduation.\\nYour children will remember these moments for the rest of their lives, and having you be there will mean a lot.\\nYou may be very busy when one of your kids is about to hit a milestone, but if you miss out, you'll regret it later on.\\n1-3. Teach your children the important lessons.\\nYou should also be present to teach your children how to complete the basic tasks of life. You can help your son use the bathroom, teach your children to brush their teeth properly, help them learn how to ride a bike, and teach them to drive when the time comes. You can also teach your sons how to shave and maintain good hygiene. Your kids will need you to learn the big life lessons as well as the small everyday tasks.\\nSplit these lessons with your co-parent. You should both teach your children the important things they need to know to grow up.\\nHelp your children learn from their mistakes. If they've done something wrong, you should help them see why and talk about how to avoid the behavior in the future instead of simply punishing them and moving on.\\nPraise your child’s efforts constantly and be gentle with your criticisms. Attitude will go a long way as your child develops self-esteem.\\n1-4. Develop strong communication.\\nBeing present for the important moments in your children's lives is very important, and so is being able to communicate with your children when you're there. You don't always have to do something exciting with your kids for them to enjoy hanging out with you, you just have to focus on being able to communicate with them to understand their concerns and struggles.\\nMake sure to check in with your kids every day, so that you know what they're worried about, what they have coming in that week, and what's on their minds.\\nDon't just superficially ask, \\\"How was your day?\\\" without really wanting to know the answer.\\nIf your children are teenagers or busy college students, then they may not want to discuss the details of their days with you. Just make sure to check in often enough that they know you care without feeling smothered.\\n1-5. Plan trips with your kids.\\nTo be a good father, you should take the time to go trips with your kids -- with or without their second parent. You can take a yearly fishing trip with your daughters, a trip to the beach with your son, or a camping trip that your kids will never forget. Whatever you do, try to make it special, memorable, and something that can be repeated at least once a year so that you've developed a fun daddy-centric routine.\\nIf the children's mother is present during the trips, take some time to bond solo with your kids when you can.\\nPlanning these trips a few months in advance will give your kids something fun and different to look forward to.\\n1-6. Make time for yourself.\\nThough it's important to be there for your kids, you should try to get some \\\"me time\\\" when you can, whether it's spending Sunday afternoon doing your own thing, or taking half an hour to run every morning or winding down with a good book every night before bed. You should put your kids' interests before your own most of the time, but don't completely neglect yourself, either.\\nIf you don't make time for yourself, you won't be able to relax, recharge your batteries, and give your kids the time and attention they deserve.\\nYou can have a special room or chair in the house where your kids know that you should not be disturbed. Help them get used to the idea of \\\"me time\\\" and explain that you're going to be doing your own thing for a little while -- unless they really need you.\\n2. Being a Fair Disciplinarian\\n2-1. Reward your children appropriately.\\nBeing a disciplinarian isn't all about punishing your children when they've made a mistake. It's also about rewarding them when they've done something good so that they're encouraged and want to repeat the behavior. Whether they've gotten straight A's, helped a younger sibling with a tough task, or were mature enough to walk away from a fight, you should let them know how proud you are of them, take them out to their favorite restaurant, or just do whatever you can to let them know how much you appreciate their good behavior.\\nWhen your children are younger, rewarding them with affection can go a long way in helping them see how proud you are.\\nAcknowledge your child’s efforts and praise them for trying. Aim to give 3 praises for every 1 criticism.\\nThough giving your children a treat or a new toy when they've behaved well occasionally can reinforce good behavior, you shouldn't have toys or treats as the only incentive your children have for acting well. They should be motivated because you've taught them to separate right from wrong.\\nDon't reward your children for something that is expected of them, like doing chores around the house or cleaning up after themselves. If you do, then they'll feel like they're doing you a favor.\\n2-2. Punish your children appropriately.\\nTo be a fair disciplinarian, you'll have to punish your children when they've made a mistake. This doesn't mean getting physical or psychologically cruel -- it just means letting your kids know when they've made a mistake and showing that there are consequences for their actions. Once your child is old enough to reason, they should know when they've made a mistake.\\nTalk to your co-parent about the rules in your home and what the next steps are for your child’s character development.\\nMake sure that you and your co-parent agree on the punishment for the children. The consequences should be the same, whether whichever parent witnessed the action. This will help you avoid going into \\\"good cop, bad cop\\\" mode with your co-parent.\\n2-3. Be consistent.\\nBeing consistent is just as important as having a system of punishments and rewards. If your child is misbehaving, the consequences should be the same every time, even if it's inconvenient or you're tired or out in public. And if your child does something great, don't forget to make them feel special, no matter how tired or stressed out you are.\\nIf you don't act consistent, then your children will know that your reactions can be influenced by your moods.\\n2-4. Don't yell.\\nThough you may feel enraged by your children's behavior, yelling is not the solution. If you have to yell, try yelling when you're alone, in the shower, or into a pillow. But don't yell at your children, no matter how bad the urge is. You can raise your voice slightly to let them know they've made a mistake, but if you yell or scream, they'll be afraid of you and won't want to communicate.\\nThough it may be tough, you shouldn't let your children see you lose control.\\n2-5. Don't get violent.\\nNo matter how angry you are, you should avoid hitting, hurting, or grabbing your children. This will hurt them physically and emotionally and will make them want to avoid you at all costs. If your children think that you may get violent, they will shut down and won't want to be around you. You should avoid being violent around your children, or around their mother, if you want to gain their respect.\\n2-6. Be respected and loved.\\nIt's important that your children know that you're a strict disciplinarian and that they can't pull a 'fast one' on you, but it's equally important that they want your love and affection and have an amazing time bonding with you. To be a good father, you need to toe the line between enforcing tough lessons and also making your children feel loved and appreciated.\\nIf you're too concerned about being respected, then your children may not feel comfortable enough to open up to you.\\nIf you're too concerned about being loved, then your children may see you as a pushover who won't lay down the law.\\n3. Being a Good Role Model\\n3-1. Lead by example.\\nIf you want to lead by your example, then your motto should be, \\\"Do as I say and as I do,\\\" so your children know you're not being hypocritical when you teach them right from wrong. If you want your children to act in a way that meets your expectations, then they should see the positive behavior from you first. Here are some ways that you can lead by example:\\nIf you don't want your children to smoke or drink excessively, for example, then you shouldn't do these things in front of them -- or at all.\\nIf you want your children to treat people with kindness and respect, then they have to see you treating people, from the waiter in your local restaurant to a telemarketer, with basic respect.\\nIf you want your children to not pick fights, then don't pick a fight with their second parent right in front of them.\\n3-2. Treat the children's second parent with respect.\\nIf you want to be a good role model, then you have to treat the children's parent with respect. If you're married to them, then you should let them see how much you love them, help them out, and enjoy their company. If you're mean to your own parent, then your children will see that it's okay to be mean to them or other people because you do it.\\nPart of treating the children's second parent with respect means sharing childcare and household duties with them.\\nLet your children see you praising their parent and giving them the love and affection that they deserve.\\nYou should not only treat the children's second parent with respect, but love them and work on maintaining a loving, fun, and nurturing relationship. If the children's parents are happy, then everyone should be happy.\\nIf you and the children's second parent are divorced, then you should never say a bad word about their parent to them, even if you're not on the best terms. Letting them see your less-than-ideal relationship with their parent will make them stressed and confused.\\n3-3. Admit your mistakes.\\nYou don't have to be perfect to be a good role model. In fact, it's better if you're not perfect because then your children will see that nobody's perfect and that everybody makes mistakes. If you've made a mistake, like forgetting to pick your child up from school at the right time, or losing your temper, you should apologize and say that you know you've made a mistake.\\nIf you can swallow your pride in front of your children, then they'll see that it's okay for them to admit when they've done something wrong, too.\\nAdmitting when you're wrong builds more character than \\\"doing the right thing\\\" every single time.\\n3-4. Help out around the house.\\nIf you want your children to help out around the house, then you should help out around the house, too, no matter how all-consuming your job may be. Let them see you doing the dishes, cleaning the counters, and vacuuming the carpet, and they'll want to help out too. If they think that cleaning up is just \\\"a mom's job,\\\" then they'll be much less likely to help out when the time comes.\\nHelping out around the house will not only make your wife happy, but it'll help your children see that you and your wife work as a team and that they should join in.\\n3-5. Earn your children's respect.\\nRespect is earned, not given, and you should do what you can so that your children respect you as a father. If you're not around a lot, yell at their mother, or are only occasionally in the mood to discipline them, then they won't respect you just because you're their father. You should act in a way that is admirable, honest, and consistent so that your children see that you're a model father and a person worthy of their admiration.\\nYour children shouldn't worship you and think you're perfect -- they should see that you're only human and want to do well by them.\\n3-6. Shower your children with love and affection.\\nThough you may think being a good role model means being slightly distant but always doing the right thing, it actually means being connected enough to give your children kisses and hugs, and to let them know how much they mean to you. Don't let a day go by without saying \\\"I love you,\\\" giving your children physical affection, and letting them know how much they mean to you.\\nYour children long for love and affection from you, no matter what age they are.\\nPraise your children and let them know that your life wouldn't be the same without them.\\n4. Being Understanding\\n4-1. Accept that your children aren't you.\\nThough you may have wanted your children to keep running the family business, attend your alma mater, or be a high school soccer star like you were, you have to accept the fact that your children are their own people with their own needs and desires, and that they may not align with yours. You may think that your path is the only way to happiness, but to be a good father, you have to accept that your children may have a different idea of how to run their lives.\\nThough you may think that you're doing your best by telling your children what to do or how to live their lives, you're actually hurting their independence by trying to control them.\\nIt takes time to accept your children's desires. If you don't immediately understand why your child wants to be an artist when you are a doctor, ask for them to explain it to you and take the time to listen and understand.\\nIf you try to control your children too much, they'll resent you and will stop opening up.\\nLet your children make their own decisions by letting them be independent and open-minded. You may want them to play baseball, but sign them up for a variety of activities and let them decide what they like best.\\n4-2. Support your child (ren).\\nThis means supporting your child's choices and decisions. This could be supporting their identities, such as gender and sexual orientation, or their career choice, as well as making big decisions without judgement and with acceptance—even if you don't fully understand. Children thrive when their parents actively promote their positive growth and development. They look to you for guidance as they grow from childhood to adulthood and independence—you've been through it, so you understand how confusing and difficult it can be. Children need to know that they are loved for who they are and that you will always be there for them.\\n4-3. Be aware of the changing times.\\nTo be a good father, you have to understand that your children aren't growing up in the same environment that you were raised in -- even if you're raising them in the same time. With globalization, the influence of social media, and the changing politics in today's society, it's likely that your children are less sheltered than you are and are more aware of the problems and changes in today's society.\\nTherefore, be aware that things like body piercing, premarital sex, and world travel are more common today than they were in your time. Accept that your children are a product of the times and that they may want to explore the world more than you did.\\nYou may feel like you know exactly how the world should work, but you should let your children express themselves and share their perspectives with you.\\n4-4. Accept your children's mistakes.\\nIf you want to be an understanding father, then you have to accept that, like you, your children aren't perfect, and that they're bound to make mistakes. Life is full of mistakes that help your children learn, and you should accept that many lessons are necessary -- whether your child gets into a minor car accident, fails a test because they didn't study, or made a foolish purchase with their savings.\\nIf you don't let your children fail once in a while, then they won't learn anything. Though you may want to shelter and protect them, letting them make their own mistakes will help them make more informed decisions.\\nYou should still discipline your children appropriately when they make a mistake, but you should also talk about what they did wrong and let them see the error of their ways instead of just yelling at them.\\n4-5. Understand if your children are struggling.\\nIf you want to be a good father, then you have to be aware of when your children are having a particularly hard time and be attentive to your needs. Maybe your little girl is struggling because you moved to a new town and she doesn't have any friends, or maybe your son is going through his first break-up and is emotionally wiped.\\nThough you can't completely excuse your children's distant or emotional behavior, you should be aware of what's going through their heads so you can be more understanding and talk to them when they're struggling.\\nJust saying, \\\"I know you're having a hard time. Do you want to talk about it?\\\" will help your children see how much you care.\\nTry putting yourself in your child's shoes. If you're frustrated, understanding where your child is coming from will help you understand their behavior.\\nPrioritize your children by always being accessible for talks, even if you don’t fully agree with your child’s choices.\\n4-6. Don't place unreasonable expectations on your children.\\nA child's life can be filled with pressures, from siblings to kids at school to teachers to coaches. Help your child understand their desires and assess their capabilities and limitations. Help them set achievable goals. Encourage them to meet their full potential but avoid living vicariously through them by expecting them to achieve what you had achieved or hoped to have achieved.\\n4-7. Realize that a father's job is never done.\\nDo not assume that once your children turn 18, or they have a college degree, that your work raising them is done. Although it is important to encourage your children to become financially and emotionally independent, it is also important to let them know that you care and are always there for them and that they are valued.\\nTips\\nAlways speak with your kids, not at them.\\nAsk your dad and/or granddad about their experiences in raising kids, and ask them about anything you don't understand.\\nAlways show patience and understanding.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Nobody said being a good father was easy. No matter what age your child is or how many children you have, you have to know that a father's work is never done. To be a good father, you have to be present, be a good disciplinarian and role model, and be sympathetic to your children's needs without being a pushover. If you want to know how to be a good father, just follow these steps.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Present\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make time for your kids.\", \"描述\": \"Your children don't care if you've just had a big promotion at your company or whether or not you own the most expensive house on the block. What they do care about is whether or not you'll be home in time for dinner, if you'll take them to the baseball game on Sunday, and if you'll be around for movie night that week. If you want to be a good father, then you have to set aside time every day for your children -- or at least every week -- no matter how busy you are.\\nPlug this time into your schedule. Maybe your best nights for your children are Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. Take the time to put in extra care during those days, and don't let other commitments get in the way.\\nIf you have more than one child, then you should make time to see each child individually, so your unique relationships can develop.\\nIf you're so tired that you can't possibly make yourself get up to basketball with your child, do something else with them instead, like watching a basketball game or a basketball-themed movie. It's important that you're there in some capacity.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be there for the milestones.\", \"描述\": \"Though planning \\\"daddy time\\\" for your kids each week is a great way to strengthen your relationship, you should also try to be there for important milestones in their lives. Arrange your work schedule so that you can be there for your child's first day of school, your child's first big sporting event, or your child's high school graduation.\\nYour children will remember these moments for the rest of their lives, and having you be there will mean a lot.\\nYou may be very busy when one of your kids is about to hit a milestone, but if you miss out, you'll regret it later on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Teach your children the important lessons.\", \"描述\": \"You should also be present to teach your children how to complete the basic tasks of life. You can help your son use the bathroom, teach your children to brush their teeth properly, help them learn how to ride a bike, and teach them to drive when the time comes. You can also teach your sons how to shave and maintain good hygiene. Your kids will need you to learn the big life lessons as well as the small everyday tasks.\\nSplit these lessons with your co-parent. You should both teach your children the important things they need to know to grow up.\\nHelp your children learn from their mistakes. If they've done something wrong, you should help them see why and talk about how to avoid the behavior in the future instead of simply punishing them and moving on.\\nPraise your child’s efforts constantly and be gentle with your criticisms. Attitude will go a long way as your child develops self-esteem.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Develop strong communication.\", \"描述\": \"Being present for the important moments in your children's lives is very important, and so is being able to communicate with your children when you're there. You don't always have to do something exciting with your kids for them to enjoy hanging out with you, you just have to focus on being able to communicate with them to understand their concerns and struggles.\\nMake sure to check in with your kids every day, so that you know what they're worried about, what they have coming in that week, and what's on their minds.\\nDon't just superficially ask, \\\"How was your day?\\\" without really wanting to know the answer.\\nIf your children are teenagers or busy college students, then they may not want to discuss the details of their days with you. Just make sure to check in often enough that they know you care without feeling smothered.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Plan trips with your kids.\", \"描述\": \"To be a good father, you should take the time to go trips with your kids -- with or without their second parent. You can take a yearly fishing trip with your daughters, a trip to the beach with your son, or a camping trip that your kids will never forget. Whatever you do, try to make it special, memorable, and something that can be repeated at least once a year so that you've developed a fun daddy-centric routine.\\nIf the children's mother is present during the trips, take some time to bond solo with your kids when you can.\\nPlanning these trips a few months in advance will give your kids something fun and different to look forward to.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make time for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Though it's important to be there for your kids, you should try to get some \\\"me time\\\" when you can, whether it's spending Sunday afternoon doing your own thing, or taking half an hour to run every morning or winding down with a good book every night before bed. You should put your kids' interests before your own most of the time, but don't completely neglect yourself, either.\\nIf you don't make time for yourself, you won't be able to relax, recharge your batteries, and give your kids the time and attention they deserve.\\nYou can have a special room or chair in the house where your kids know that you should not be disturbed. Help them get used to the idea of \\\"me time\\\" and explain that you're going to be doing your own thing for a little while -- unless they really need you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being a Fair Disciplinarian\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reward your children appropriately.\", \"描述\": \"Being a disciplinarian isn't all about punishing your children when they've made a mistake. It's also about rewarding them when they've done something good so that they're encouraged and want to repeat the behavior. Whether they've gotten straight A's, helped a younger sibling with a tough task, or were mature enough to walk away from a fight, you should let them know how proud you are of them, take them out to their favorite restaurant, or just do whatever you can to let them know how much you appreciate their good behavior.\\nWhen your children are younger, rewarding them with affection can go a long way in helping them see how proud you are.\\nAcknowledge your child’s efforts and praise them for trying. Aim to give 3 praises for every 1 criticism.\\nThough giving your children a treat or a new toy when they've behaved well occasionally can reinforce good behavior, you shouldn't have toys or treats as the only incentive your children have for acting well. They should be motivated because you've taught them to separate right from wrong.\\nDon't reward your children for something that is expected of them, like doing chores around the house or cleaning up after themselves. If you do, then they'll feel like they're doing you a favor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Punish your children appropriately.\", \"描述\": \"To be a fair disciplinarian, you'll have to punish your children when they've made a mistake. This doesn't mean getting physical or psychologically cruel -- it just means letting your kids know when they've made a mistake and showing that there are consequences for their actions. Once your child is old enough to reason, they should know when they've made a mistake.\\nTalk to your co-parent about the rules in your home and what the next steps are for your child’s character development.\\nMake sure that you and your co-parent agree on the punishment for the children. The consequences should be the same, whether whichever parent witnessed the action. This will help you avoid going into \\\"good cop, bad cop\\\" mode with your co-parent.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be consistent.\", \"描述\": \"Being consistent is just as important as having a system of punishments and rewards. If your child is misbehaving, the consequences should be the same every time, even if it's inconvenient or you're tired or out in public. And if your child does something great, don't forget to make them feel special, no matter how tired or stressed out you are.\\nIf you don't act consistent, then your children will know that your reactions can be influenced by your moods.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't yell.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may feel enraged by your children's behavior, yelling is not the solution. If you have to yell, try yelling when you're alone, in the shower, or into a pillow. But don't yell at your children, no matter how bad the urge is. You can raise your voice slightly to let them know they've made a mistake, but if you yell or scream, they'll be afraid of you and won't want to communicate.\\nThough it may be tough, you shouldn't let your children see you lose control.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't get violent.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how angry you are, you should avoid hitting, hurting, or grabbing your children. This will hurt them physically and emotionally and will make them want to avoid you at all costs. If your children think that you may get violent, they will shut down and won't want to be around you. You should avoid being violent around your children, or around their mother, if you want to gain their respect.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be respected and loved.\", \"描述\": \"It's important that your children know that you're a strict disciplinarian and that they can't pull a 'fast one' on you, but it's equally important that they want your love and affection and have an amazing time bonding with you. To be a good father, you need to toe the line between enforcing tough lessons and also making your children feel loved and appreciated.\\nIf you're too concerned about being respected, then your children may not feel comfortable enough to open up to you.\\nIf you're too concerned about being loved, then your children may see you as a pushover who won't lay down the law.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being a Good Role Model\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lead by example.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to lead by your example, then your motto should be, \\\"Do as I say and as I do,\\\" so your children know you're not being hypocritical when you teach them right from wrong. If you want your children to act in a way that meets your expectations, then they should see the positive behavior from you first. Here are some ways that you can lead by example:\\nIf you don't want your children to smoke or drink excessively, for example, then you shouldn't do these things in front of them -- or at all.\\nIf you want your children to treat people with kindness and respect, then they have to see you treating people, from the waiter in your local restaurant to a telemarketer, with basic respect.\\nIf you want your children to not pick fights, then don't pick a fight with their second parent right in front of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Treat the children's second parent with respect.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good role model, then you have to treat the children's parent with respect. If you're married to them, then you should let them see how much you love them, help them out, and enjoy their company. If you're mean to your own parent, then your children will see that it's okay to be mean to them or other people because you do it.\\nPart of treating the children's second parent with respect means sharing childcare and household duties with them.\\nLet your children see you praising their parent and giving them the love and affection that they deserve.\\nYou should not only treat the children's second parent with respect, but love them and work on maintaining a loving, fun, and nurturing relationship. If the children's parents are happy, then everyone should be happy.\\nIf you and the children's second parent are divorced, then you should never say a bad word about their parent to them, even if you're not on the best terms. Letting them see your less-than-ideal relationship with their parent will make them stressed and confused.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Admit your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to be perfect to be a good role model. In fact, it's better if you're not perfect because then your children will see that nobody's perfect and that everybody makes mistakes. If you've made a mistake, like forgetting to pick your child up from school at the right time, or losing your temper, you should apologize and say that you know you've made a mistake.\\nIf you can swallow your pride in front of your children, then they'll see that it's okay for them to admit when they've done something wrong, too.\\nAdmitting when you're wrong builds more character than \\\"doing the right thing\\\" every single time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Help out around the house.\", \"描述\": \"If you want your children to help out around the house, then you should help out around the house, too, no matter how all-consuming your job may be. Let them see you doing the dishes, cleaning the counters, and vacuuming the carpet, and they'll want to help out too. If they think that cleaning up is just \\\"a mom's job,\\\" then they'll be much less likely to help out when the time comes.\\nHelping out around the house will not only make your wife happy, but it'll help your children see that you and your wife work as a team and that they should join in.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Earn your children's respect.\", \"描述\": \"Respect is earned, not given, and you should do what you can so that your children respect you as a father. If you're not around a lot, yell at their mother, or are only occasionally in the mood to discipline them, then they won't respect you just because you're their father. You should act in a way that is admirable, honest, and consistent so that your children see that you're a model father and a person worthy of their admiration.\\nYour children shouldn't worship you and think you're perfect -- they should see that you're only human and want to do well by them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Shower your children with love and affection.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may think being a good role model means being slightly distant but always doing the right thing, it actually means being connected enough to give your children kisses and hugs, and to let them know how much they mean to you. Don't let a day go by without saying \\\"I love you,\\\" giving your children physical affection, and letting them know how much they mean to you.\\nYour children long for love and affection from you, no matter what age they are.\\nPraise your children and let them know that your life wouldn't be the same without them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being Understanding\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept that your children aren't you.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may have wanted your children to keep running the family business, attend your alma mater, or be a high school soccer star like you were, you have to accept the fact that your children are their own people with their own needs and desires, and that they may not align with yours. You may think that your path is the only way to happiness, but to be a good father, you have to accept that your children may have a different idea of how to run their lives.\\nThough you may think that you're doing your best by telling your children what to do or how to live their lives, you're actually hurting their independence by trying to control them.\\nIt takes time to accept your children's desires. If you don't immediately understand why your child wants to be an artist when you are a doctor, ask for them to explain it to you and take the time to listen and understand.\\nIf you try to control your children too much, they'll resent you and will stop opening up.\\nLet your children make their own decisions by letting them be independent and open-minded. You may want them to play baseball, but sign them up for a variety of activities and let them decide what they like best.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Support your child (ren).\", \"描述\": \"This means supporting your child's choices and decisions. This could be supporting their identities, such as gender and sexual orientation, or their career choice, as well as making big decisions without judgement and with acceptance—even if you don't fully understand. Children thrive when their parents actively promote their positive growth and development. They look to you for guidance as they grow from childhood to adulthood and independence—you've been through it, so you understand how confusing and difficult it can be. Children need to know that they are loved for who they are and that you will always be there for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be aware of the changing times.\", \"描述\": \"To be a good father, you have to understand that your children aren't growing up in the same environment that you were raised in -- even if you're raising them in the same time. With globalization, the influence of social media, and the changing politics in today's society, it's likely that your children are less sheltered than you are and are more aware of the problems and changes in today's society.\\nTherefore, be aware that things like body piercing, premarital sex, and world travel are more common today than they were in your time. Accept that your children are a product of the times and that they may want to explore the world more than you did.\\nYou may feel like you know exactly how the world should work, but you should let your children express themselves and share their perspectives with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept your children's mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be an understanding father, then you have to accept that, like you, your children aren't perfect, and that they're bound to make mistakes. Life is full of mistakes that help your children learn, and you should accept that many lessons are necessary -- whether your child gets into a minor car accident, fails a test because they didn't study, or made a foolish purchase with their savings.\\nIf you don't let your children fail once in a while, then they won't learn anything. Though you may want to shelter and protect them, letting them make their own mistakes will help them make more informed decisions.\\nYou should still discipline your children appropriately when they make a mistake, but you should also talk about what they did wrong and let them see the error of their ways instead of just yelling at them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Understand if your children are struggling.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good father, then you have to be aware of when your children are having a particularly hard time and be attentive to your needs. Maybe your little girl is struggling because you moved to a new town and she doesn't have any friends, or maybe your son is going through his first break-up and is emotionally wiped.\\nThough you can't completely excuse your children's distant or emotional behavior, you should be aware of what's going through their heads so you can be more understanding and talk to them when they're struggling.\\nJust saying, \\\"I know you're having a hard time. Do you want to talk about it?\\\" will help your children see how much you care.\\nTry putting yourself in your child's shoes. If you're frustrated, understanding where your child is coming from will help you understand their behavior.\\nPrioritize your children by always being accessible for talks, even if you don’t fully agree with your child’s choices.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't place unreasonable expectations on your children.\", \"描述\": \"A child's life can be filled with pressures, from siblings to kids at school to teachers to coaches. Help your child understand their desires and assess their capabilities and limitations. Help them set achievable goals. Encourage them to meet their full potential but avoid living vicariously through them by expecting them to achieve what you had achieved or hoped to have achieved.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Realize that a father's job is never done.\", \"描述\": \"Do not assume that once your children turn 18, or they have a college degree, that your work raising them is done. Although it is important to encourage your children to become financially and emotionally independent, it is also important to let them know that you care and are always there for them and that they are valued.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always speak with your kids, not at them.\\n\", \"Ask your dad and/or granddad about their experiences in raising kids, and ask them about anything you don't understand.\\n\", \"Always show patience and understanding.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,442 |
How to Be a Good Fighter
|
1. Steps
1-1. Join a reputable dojo for your style of interest.
There is a big difference between Traditional styles of fighting which focus on Katas (Forms) and preserving the history of the art form with some minor point system sparring, these are beautiful and artful styles rich in benefits to your health and mental well-being which are to be respected, but not used in a real fight, or to be a real fighter and any honest teacher will tell you the same.
Functional styles of fighting which are meant to defend yourself in life or death situations, or to take control of a given situation when necessary where you will train rigorously and to the point of physical and mental exhaustion against other people of various builds, with little to no rules other than that you respect your partner and do not injure anyone.
Don't let this scare you away, the people that attend these dojos are 99.9% the nicest people you will ever meet, people like you who want to be a good fighter. You will get hurt, whoever hurt you will apologize profusely, you will recover and you will be stronger for it.
If your dojo is not like this, find another dojo. The best fighters do not talk smack or disrespect one another.
1-2. Have honor and pride in your heart every time you fight.
If you defeat someone in the street, you should have respect for them. Make sure they are OK and do not be sarcastic or offensive. Offer to buy them a drink or get some food, tell them about your dojo and the positive effect it has on you, suggest that they join so you can have more matches together (even if they were a pushover).
As a fighter, it is important to spread respect and a positive attitude to people around you, especially your enemies and especially if you just knocked them out.
Winning a fight on the street and then being a jerk about winning, will only bring you and the people you love misfortune. If you succumb to their antics, you have lost as the person you strive to be.
Make them play your game, you are the stronger individual. Who knows you may save a life, or make a best friend. A fighter does not know someone until he has fought with them. So that jerk you just knocked out at the bar, might turn out to be your best friend, having a bad night.
Traditional styles, if taught by a proper instructor, are very useful and can be deadly to an untrained opponent.
Whatever you do, DO NOT take the fight to the ground. Styles such as JiuJitsu are only useful against one opponent in a secure area. In the street, his friends will beat down on you if you are doing some fancy choke hold.
Striking arts such as Taekwondo and Karate (along with many others) are the most useful against multiple opponents or against someone with a knife. These are styles focused around conditioning your body to receive and deliver blows. This is why an average person simply cannot fight someone who trains to fight.
1-3. An excellent example of this is the Shaolin monks.
Shaolin monks who showcase their amazing features of superhuman strength. The fact is, as any of them will tell you it is very simplistic rigorous conditioning done over a period of years on a schedule. Leading to things like, breaking a baseball bat with your shin kick. Breaking cement blocks with your head. Punching through a lot of wood.
Any of these features will normally shatter bones, cause horrible compound fractures and trips to the hospital. Worked up to very slowly and diligently over the course of years and it is an eventuality. Keep in mind that unless you train 10-14 hours a day, you will never be as good as hardened as a Shaolin monk, who lives to preserve their teachings. DO NOT shin kick a baseball bat.
Your average person on the street is on one end of the spectrum, and a Shaolin monk who spends his entire life conditioning his body to be as hard as iron is on the other end. You at your best as a fighter will fall somewhere in the middle.
1-4. Eat right!
If you are training to fight on top of your everyday responsibilities you will need to consume 2 to 3 times your normal values of calories. Professional fighters consume around 6000 calories a day!
If you cannot afford to eat good solid meals with lots of protein and vegetables, be very careful about the intensity of your training. Do not over-exert yourself! Try eating 4 or 5 small meals a day, instead of 3 big meals. Buy wholesale (bulk) protein/vitamin bars and drink lots of water.
1-5. Train at home.
If you want to improve your karate skills at home, consult your teacher. They can give specific advice on home training according to your strengths, weaknesses, rank, and ability.
Generally, you can improve karate at home by refining and fine-tuning elements of basic techniques. In karate, these fundamental techniques are called Kihon Waza.
In the beginning, you can practice Kihon Waza in front of a mirror to catch mistakes and correct the form. But ultimately, you should understand the movements by feel.
Run over in your head throughout the day things to improve on, where you made mistakes in your sparring or in fights you have lost outright. Think of ways to improve each angle and scenario.
Shadowboxing is essential to any style and is not boxing it can be whatever your style, work on perfecting your moves. Do not be embarrassed, good shadowboxing translates to good form and style in a fight. Try to use a wall or bag you can tap (lightly) to keep an idea of your range relative to the position of your stance.
Train for every possible encounter in and out of the ring. While walking around outside, consider what could be used as a weapon, what materials are around you that could aid/hinder your ability to defend yourself. Never get backed into a corner. Do not form habits of walking near ledges, curbs, or anything that could send you off balance should you be surprised.
1-6. Find a local venue!
Have you been training for a few months, are now in great shape and have a good understanding of how to fight properly. It may be time to test your skills against other fighters at a local venue. Most communities have them, you will be surprised.
Test your skills and learn to improve where it counts. When you lose, do not be disappointed, be happy that you found some things to work on. A good fighter would be bored if he won every match easily.
1-7. Never give up.
You will experience hard times and nasty injuries in your training. Through it all though you will wake up one day to find that you are a great fighter.
Never use the power you gain to control people, it is a demon you will have to fight as you become stronger than most people. You will want to be in charge and you will fail to understand why people of authority, have authority over you.
Do not let people push you around, but do not go around looking for a fight either. If you succumb to this, you have failed yourself and everyone who has trained you. Be strong mentally as well as physically.
Tips
Learn the locations of pressure points. That way you have a way of damaging your opponent that does not require much strength or skill.[7]
X
Research source
Don't underestimate your opponent; assume they are the more apt fighter and stay focused.
Make sure your thumb is NOT in your fist when you punch. It may be more damaging to you than your opponent.
Warnings
These steps shouldn't be used so you can go beating up whoever you like, have some pride in your abilities, and do not waste them unless there is good reason.
Do not use these steps to your advantage to beat someone up.
Fighting can be dangerous and should never be done in an unofficial area or without rules and regulations being passed etc.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Join a reputable dojo for your style of interest.\\nThere is a big difference between Traditional styles of fighting which focus on Katas (Forms) and preserving the history of the art form with some minor point system sparring, these are beautiful and artful styles rich in benefits to your health and mental well-being which are to be respected, but not used in a real fight, or to be a real fighter and any honest teacher will tell you the same.\\nFunctional styles of fighting which are meant to defend yourself in life or death situations, or to take control of a given situation when necessary where you will train rigorously and to the point of physical and mental exhaustion against other people of various builds, with little to no rules other than that you respect your partner and do not injure anyone.\\nDon't let this scare you away, the people that attend these dojos are 99.9% the nicest people you will ever meet, people like you who want to be a good fighter. You will get hurt, whoever hurt you will apologize profusely, you will recover and you will be stronger for it.\\nIf your dojo is not like this, find another dojo. The best fighters do not talk smack or disrespect one another.\\n1-2. Have honor and pride in your heart every time you fight.\\nIf you defeat someone in the street, you should have respect for them. Make sure they are OK and do not be sarcastic or offensive. Offer to buy them a drink or get some food, tell them about your dojo and the positive effect it has on you, suggest that they join so you can have more matches together (even if they were a pushover).\\nAs a fighter, it is important to spread respect and a positive attitude to people around you, especially your enemies and especially if you just knocked them out.\\nWinning a fight on the street and then being a jerk about winning, will only bring you and the people you love misfortune. If you succumb to their antics, you have lost as the person you strive to be.\\nMake them play your game, you are the stronger individual. Who knows you may save a life, or make a best friend. A fighter does not know someone until he has fought with them. So that jerk you just knocked out at the bar, might turn out to be your best friend, having a bad night.\\nTraditional styles, if taught by a proper instructor, are very useful and can be deadly to an untrained opponent.\\nWhatever you do, DO NOT take the fight to the ground. Styles such as JiuJitsu are only useful against one opponent in a secure area. In the street, his friends will beat down on you if you are doing some fancy choke hold.\\nStriking arts such as Taekwondo and Karate (along with many others) are the most useful against multiple opponents or against someone with a knife. These are styles focused around conditioning your body to receive and deliver blows. This is why an average person simply cannot fight someone who trains to fight.\\n1-3. An excellent example of this is the Shaolin monks.\\nShaolin monks who showcase their amazing features of superhuman strength. The fact is, as any of them will tell you it is very simplistic rigorous conditioning done over a period of years on a schedule. Leading to things like, breaking a baseball bat with your shin kick. Breaking cement blocks with your head. Punching through a lot of wood.\\nAny of these features will normally shatter bones, cause horrible compound fractures and trips to the hospital. Worked up to very slowly and diligently over the course of years and it is an eventuality. Keep in mind that unless you train 10-14 hours a day, you will never be as good as hardened as a Shaolin monk, who lives to preserve their teachings. DO NOT shin kick a baseball bat.\\nYour average person on the street is on one end of the spectrum, and a Shaolin monk who spends his entire life conditioning his body to be as hard as iron is on the other end. You at your best as a fighter will fall somewhere in the middle.\\n1-4. Eat right!\\nIf you are training to fight on top of your everyday responsibilities you will need to consume 2 to 3 times your normal values of calories. Professional fighters consume around 6000 calories a day!\\nIf you cannot afford to eat good solid meals with lots of protein and vegetables, be very careful about the intensity of your training. Do not over-exert yourself! Try eating 4 or 5 small meals a day, instead of 3 big meals. Buy wholesale (bulk) protein/vitamin bars and drink lots of water.\\n1-5. Train at home.\\nIf you want to improve your karate skills at home, consult your teacher. They can give specific advice on home training according to your strengths, weaknesses, rank, and ability.\\nGenerally, you can improve karate at home by refining and fine-tuning elements of basic techniques. In karate, these fundamental techniques are called Kihon Waza.\\nIn the beginning, you can practice Kihon Waza in front of a mirror to catch mistakes and correct the form. But ultimately, you should understand the movements by feel.\\nRun over in your head throughout the day things to improve on, where you made mistakes in your sparring or in fights you have lost outright. Think of ways to improve each angle and scenario.\\nShadowboxing is essential to any style and is not boxing it can be whatever your style, work on perfecting your moves. Do not be embarrassed, good shadowboxing translates to good form and style in a fight. Try to use a wall or bag you can tap (lightly) to keep an idea of your range relative to the position of your stance.\\nTrain for every possible encounter in and out of the ring. While walking around outside, consider what could be used as a weapon, what materials are around you that could aid/hinder your ability to defend yourself. Never get backed into a corner. Do not form habits of walking near ledges, curbs, or anything that could send you off balance should you be surprised.\\n1-6. Find a local venue!\\nHave you been training for a few months, are now in great shape and have a good understanding of how to fight properly. It may be time to test your skills against other fighters at a local venue. Most communities have them, you will be surprised.\\nTest your skills and learn to improve where it counts. When you lose, do not be disappointed, be happy that you found some things to work on. A good fighter would be bored if he won every match easily.\\n1-7. Never give up.\\nYou will experience hard times and nasty injuries in your training. Through it all though you will wake up one day to find that you are a great fighter.\\nNever use the power you gain to control people, it is a demon you will have to fight as you become stronger than most people. You will want to be in charge and you will fail to understand why people of authority, have authority over you.\\nDo not let people push you around, but do not go around looking for a fight either. If you succumb to this, you have failed yourself and everyone who has trained you. Be strong mentally as well as physically.\\nTips\\nLearn the locations of pressure points. That way you have a way of damaging your opponent that does not require much strength or skill.[7]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nDon't underestimate your opponent; assume they are the more apt fighter and stay focused.\\nMake sure your thumb is NOT in your fist when you punch. It may be more damaging to you than your opponent.\\nWarnings\\nThese steps shouldn't be used so you can go beating up whoever you like, have some pride in your abilities, and do not waste them unless there is good reason.\\nDo not use these steps to your advantage to beat someone up.\\nFighting can be dangerous and should never be done in an unofficial area or without rules and regulations being passed etc.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to be a good fighter and do not know how to do this, then just read this article to solve your problem.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join a reputable dojo for your style of interest.\", \"描述\": \"There is a big difference between Traditional styles of fighting which focus on Katas (Forms) and preserving the history of the art form with some minor point system sparring, these are beautiful and artful styles rich in benefits to your health and mental well-being which are to be respected, but not used in a real fight, or to be a real fighter and any honest teacher will tell you the same.\\nFunctional styles of fighting which are meant to defend yourself in life or death situations, or to take control of a given situation when necessary where you will train rigorously and to the point of physical and mental exhaustion against other people of various builds, with little to no rules other than that you respect your partner and do not injure anyone.\\nDon't let this scare you away, the people that attend these dojos are 99.9% the nicest people you will ever meet, people like you who want to be a good fighter. You will get hurt, whoever hurt you will apologize profusely, you will recover and you will be stronger for it.\\nIf your dojo is not like this, find another dojo. The best fighters do not talk smack or disrespect one another.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have honor and pride in your heart every time you fight.\", \"描述\": \"If you defeat someone in the street, you should have respect for them. Make sure they are OK and do not be sarcastic or offensive. Offer to buy them a drink or get some food, tell them about your dojo and the positive effect it has on you, suggest that they join so you can have more matches together (even if they were a pushover).\\nAs a fighter, it is important to spread respect and a positive attitude to people around you, especially your enemies and especially if you just knocked them out.\\nWinning a fight on the street and then being a jerk about winning, will only bring you and the people you love misfortune. If you succumb to their antics, you have lost as the person you strive to be.\\nMake them play your game, you are the stronger individual. Who knows you may save a life, or make a best friend. A fighter does not know someone until he has fought with them. So that jerk you just knocked out at the bar, might turn out to be your best friend, having a bad night.\\nTraditional styles, if taught by a proper instructor, are very useful and can be deadly to an untrained opponent.\\nWhatever you do, DO NOT take the fight to the ground. Styles such as JiuJitsu are only useful against one opponent in a secure area. In the street, his friends will beat down on you if you are doing some fancy choke hold.\\nStriking arts such as Taekwondo and Karate (along with many others) are the most useful against multiple opponents or against someone with a knife. These are styles focused around conditioning your body to receive and deliver blows. This is why an average person simply cannot fight someone who trains to fight.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"An excellent example of this is the Shaolin monks.\", \"描述\": \"Shaolin monks who showcase their amazing features of superhuman strength. The fact is, as any of them will tell you it is very simplistic rigorous conditioning done over a period of years on a schedule. Leading to things like, breaking a baseball bat with your shin kick. Breaking cement blocks with your head. Punching through a lot of wood.\\nAny of these features will normally shatter bones, cause horrible compound fractures and trips to the hospital. Worked up to very slowly and diligently over the course of years and it is an eventuality. Keep in mind that unless you train 10-14 hours a day, you will never be as good as hardened as a Shaolin monk, who lives to preserve their teachings. DO NOT shin kick a baseball bat.\\nYour average person on the street is on one end of the spectrum, and a Shaolin monk who spends his entire life conditioning his body to be as hard as iron is on the other end. You at your best as a fighter will fall somewhere in the middle.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eat right!\", \"描述\": \"If you are training to fight on top of your everyday responsibilities you will need to consume 2 to 3 times your normal values of calories. Professional fighters consume around 6000 calories a day!\\nIf you cannot afford to eat good solid meals with lots of protein and vegetables, be very careful about the intensity of your training. Do not over-exert yourself! Try eating 4 or 5 small meals a day, instead of 3 big meals. Buy wholesale (bulk) protein/vitamin bars and drink lots of water.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Train at home.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to improve your karate skills at home, consult your teacher. They can give specific advice on home training according to your strengths, weaknesses, rank, and ability.\\nGenerally, you can improve karate at home by refining and fine-tuning elements of basic techniques. In karate, these fundamental techniques are called Kihon Waza.\\nIn the beginning, you can practice Kihon Waza in front of a mirror to catch mistakes and correct the form. But ultimately, you should understand the movements by feel.\\nRun over in your head throughout the day things to improve on, where you made mistakes in your sparring or in fights you have lost outright. Think of ways to improve each angle and scenario.\\nShadowboxing is essential to any style and is not boxing it can be whatever your style, work on perfecting your moves. Do not be embarrassed, good shadowboxing translates to good form and style in a fight. Try to use a wall or bag you can tap (lightly) to keep an idea of your range relative to the position of your stance.\\nTrain for every possible encounter in and out of the ring. While walking around outside, consider what could be used as a weapon, what materials are around you that could aid/hinder your ability to defend yourself. Never get backed into a corner. Do not form habits of walking near ledges, curbs, or anything that could send you off balance should you be surprised.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Find a local venue!\", \"描述\": \"Have you been training for a few months, are now in great shape and have a good understanding of how to fight properly. It may be time to test your skills against other fighters at a local venue. Most communities have them, you will be surprised.\\nTest your skills and learn to improve where it counts. When you lose, do not be disappointed, be happy that you found some things to work on. A good fighter would be bored if he won every match easily.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Never give up.\", \"描述\": \"You will experience hard times and nasty injuries in your training. Through it all though you will wake up one day to find that you are a great fighter.\\nNever use the power you gain to control people, it is a demon you will have to fight as you become stronger than most people. You will want to be in charge and you will fail to understand why people of authority, have authority over you.\\nDo not let people push you around, but do not go around looking for a fight either. If you succumb to this, you have failed yourself and everyone who has trained you. Be strong mentally as well as physically.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Learn the locations of pressure points. That way you have a way of damaging your opponent that does not require much strength or skill.[7]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Don't underestimate your opponent; assume they are the more apt fighter and stay focused.\\n\", \"Make sure your thumb is NOT in your fist when you punch. It may be more damaging to you than your opponent.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"These steps shouldn't be used so you can go beating up whoever you like, have some pride in your abilities, and do not waste them unless there is good reason.\\n\", \"Do not use these steps to your advantage to beat someone up.\\n\", \"Fighting can be dangerous and should never be done in an unofficial area or without rules and regulations being passed etc.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
|
4,443 |
How to Be a Good Flyer in Cheerleading
|
1. Doing Stunts
1-1. Lock both of your legs in a thigh stand.
Put both of your feet on either thigh of your 2 bases. Keep your legs straight so that your bases can grab onto your legs easily and hold you up. Keep your core tight and your arms in a solid V pose for the entire time you are holding this stunt.
If you have a spotter behind you, they can help you jump or step up onto the bases.
1-2. Keep your feet flat and your legs locked in a prep.
Place each of your feet into the hands of your bases. Make sure your feet are flat and that you aren’t rolling onto the sides of your ankles. Keep your weight centered over both of your legs and lock your knees so that they stay straight.
Use your thighs to propel you upward from a squat position to a standing position.
The bases will only lift your feet up to their chins. This is a preparatory stunt to get you comfortable in the air.
1-3. Hold your body tight in an extension stunt.
An extension is similar to a prep except you are propelled higher into the air. Keep your muscles squeezed tight as the backspot pulls up on your ankles and the bases lift your feet above their heads.
1-4. Keep one thigh perpendicular to the ground in a liberty.
A liberty is an advanced stunt. As your bases propel you into a prep or extension, pull one leg upward so your foot touches your other knee. Keep the thigh of your bent knee perpendicular to the ground and hold your core tight to keep your balance.
1-5. Cradle your body as you fall to dismount.
To get down from a stunt, hold your body tight as the bases throw you up into the air. Lean back slightly and hinge at the waist to let the bases catch you on your back in a cradle position. Drop your feet to the ground to stand up.
Keep your arms tucked in close to your body so that you don’t accidentally hit one of your bases.
Once you're comfortable with a regular dismount, you can try more advanced moves. Do a toe touch and snap your legs back together before the bases catch you. Or, once you're propelled into the air, lean back, straighten your legs, cross your arms over your chest, and spin around once.
2. Keeping Your Balance in the Air
2-1. Lock your knees when you are in a stunt.
Keeping your legs bent throws off your balance even when you are on the ground. When you are in a stunt, squeeze your legs muscles as tight as they can go with your legs as straight as possible. This will help you keep your balance in the air.
Locking your knees will also make it easier for your bases to hold you.
2-2. Keep your supporting foot flat in a stunt.
If you roll onto your toes or the sides of your feet, you will throw off your balance. Keep your feet or foot flat when you are holding a stunt to maintain your balance and your body strength. This will also make it easier for the bases to keep you held up.
2-3. Keep your entire body flexed tightly in stunt positions.
It is important to hold each stunt position with your entire body to keep your balance and make sure you don’t fall. Start with flexing your rear muscles together as tight as they can go. Then, hold your legs, arms, and torso in place by flexing those muscles as well.
Try using the “pinch-a-penny” method where you imagine there is a penny in between your bum cheeks. Squeeze them tight so your imaginary penny doesn’t fall out.
2-4. Avoid looking down when you are in a stunt.
It can be tempting to glance at the floor while you are up in the air. However, looking down can throw your balance off or even make you fall. Keep your head up and focus on something straight forward or high up.
You may also seem like you lack confidence if you keep looking at the floor.
3. Performing with Confidence
3-1. Smile at the crowd as you do your stunts.
Part of being a flyer is putting on a performance. Keep your head held high and your smile outward as you are in the air. Project your face upwards and toward the crowd to look more confident.
Looking upward will also help you keep your balance in the air.
3-2. Use sharp, precise movements.
Your stunts will require your body to be in very specific positions. Make sure your arms and legs are hitting each movement strongly and with confidence. Straighten your arms if you are holding them up and keep your supporting leg strong.
If you are being judged in a competition, the judges will reward you for your precise movements.
3-3. Project your voice outward and upward.
A big part of performing is cheering and projecting your voice. Tilt your head upwards and out toward the crowd so that your voice can be heard from far away. Make sure you know all of the cheers by heart so that you can project them with confidence.
3-4. Communicate with your bases and spotter.
Your bases are the people holding you in the air as you do a stunt, and the spotter is the person standing behind you. You need to be able to talk to them clearly and directly to communicate if you are feeling unsafe. Develop a level of trust with your bases and spotter by getting to know them and telling them if you are unsure about a stunt.
Many cheer coaches will tell you to shout “DOWN” if you are falling during a stunt. Make sure your bases know what you will say if you start to fall.
3-5. Try new stunts if you are comfortable doing them.
Once you’ve mastered a few basic stunts, your coach might ask you to try some more advanced ones. Only try new stunts if you feel comfortable and confident in your positions and your body. It’s okay to be nervous when you are trying something new, but if you ever feel unsafe, let your teammates and your coach know.
Coaches will appreciate it if you are willing to try new things.
4. Getting in Shape and Controlling Your Body
4-1. Get in shape
Being a flyer in cheerleading requires a ton of body strength to keep your balance. Keep up your exercises even when you aren’t cheerleading to be ready for the season ahead. Practice leg exercises, upper body exercises, and core exercises to be able to do any stunt that is asked of you.
Ask the other cheerleaders on your team if they want to work out with you during the off-season. That way, you can all keep each other motivated to stay in shape.
4-2. Stretch every day to become more flexible.
Fliers need to be able to do movements like leg lifts and the splits while in the air. Do stretches every single day so that you keep your flexibility up. Try doing stunt moves, like scorpions and leg lifts, on the ground so you are stretching the right muscles. Pratice holding them as you stand on the ground to maintain your balance.
Always warm up your body for at least 10 minutes before you stretch, or you could injure yourself.
4-3. Practice good balance on the ground.
Your balance will be constantly shifting while you are being held in the air. First, do your stunt positions on flat ground. Once you have those mastered, try your stunts while standing on a cushion or pillow. This will mimic the balance corrections you will need to do while being held in the air.
Practicing your stunts on the ground will also give you more confidence in your body movements when it comes time to be held by your bases.
4-4. Be aware of your body.
It can be easy to get distracted by the fliers next to you, your bases, or even the crowd you are performing for. Keep your mind on your own body positions and balance to make sure you are doing your stunts to the best of your ability. Practice doing your stunts in front of a crowd so you know how to focus when there are distractions around.
Being aware of yourself will also help you avoid injury and avoid injuring your bases.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Doing Stunts\\n1-1. Lock both of your legs in a thigh stand.\\nPut both of your feet on either thigh of your 2 bases. Keep your legs straight so that your bases can grab onto your legs easily and hold you up. Keep your core tight and your arms in a solid V pose for the entire time you are holding this stunt.\\nIf you have a spotter behind you, they can help you jump or step up onto the bases.\\n1-2. Keep your feet flat and your legs locked in a prep.\\nPlace each of your feet into the hands of your bases. Make sure your feet are flat and that you aren’t rolling onto the sides of your ankles. Keep your weight centered over both of your legs and lock your knees so that they stay straight.\\nUse your thighs to propel you upward from a squat position to a standing position.\\nThe bases will only lift your feet up to their chins. This is a preparatory stunt to get you comfortable in the air.\\n1-3. Hold your body tight in an extension stunt.\\nAn extension is similar to a prep except you are propelled higher into the air. Keep your muscles squeezed tight as the backspot pulls up on your ankles and the bases lift your feet above their heads.\\n1-4. Keep one thigh perpendicular to the ground in a liberty.\\nA liberty is an advanced stunt. As your bases propel you into a prep or extension, pull one leg upward so your foot touches your other knee. Keep the thigh of your bent knee perpendicular to the ground and hold your core tight to keep your balance.\\n1-5. Cradle your body as you fall to dismount.\\nTo get down from a stunt, hold your body tight as the bases throw you up into the air. Lean back slightly and hinge at the waist to let the bases catch you on your back in a cradle position. Drop your feet to the ground to stand up.\\nKeep your arms tucked in close to your body so that you don’t accidentally hit one of your bases.\\nOnce you're comfortable with a regular dismount, you can try more advanced moves. Do a toe touch and snap your legs back together before the bases catch you. Or, once you're propelled into the air, lean back, straighten your legs, cross your arms over your chest, and spin around once.\\n2. Keeping Your Balance in the Air\\n2-1. Lock your knees when you are in a stunt.\\nKeeping your legs bent throws off your balance even when you are on the ground. When you are in a stunt, squeeze your legs muscles as tight as they can go with your legs as straight as possible. This will help you keep your balance in the air.\\nLocking your knees will also make it easier for your bases to hold you.\\n2-2. Keep your supporting foot flat in a stunt.\\nIf you roll onto your toes or the sides of your feet, you will throw off your balance. Keep your feet or foot flat when you are holding a stunt to maintain your balance and your body strength. This will also make it easier for the bases to keep you held up.\\n2-3. Keep your entire body flexed tightly in stunt positions.\\nIt is important to hold each stunt position with your entire body to keep your balance and make sure you don’t fall. Start with flexing your rear muscles together as tight as they can go. Then, hold your legs, arms, and torso in place by flexing those muscles as well.\\nTry using the “pinch-a-penny” method where you imagine there is a penny in between your bum cheeks. Squeeze them tight so your imaginary penny doesn’t fall out.\\n2-4. Avoid looking down when you are in a stunt.\\nIt can be tempting to glance at the floor while you are up in the air. However, looking down can throw your balance off or even make you fall. Keep your head up and focus on something straight forward or high up.\\nYou may also seem like you lack confidence if you keep looking at the floor.\\n3. Performing with Confidence\\n3-1. Smile at the crowd as you do your stunts.\\nPart of being a flyer is putting on a performance. Keep your head held high and your smile outward as you are in the air. Project your face upwards and toward the crowd to look more confident.\\nLooking upward will also help you keep your balance in the air.\\n3-2. Use sharp, precise movements.\\nYour stunts will require your body to be in very specific positions. Make sure your arms and legs are hitting each movement strongly and with confidence. Straighten your arms if you are holding them up and keep your supporting leg strong. \\nIf you are being judged in a competition, the judges will reward you for your precise movements.\\n3-3. Project your voice outward and upward.\\nA big part of performing is cheering and projecting your voice. Tilt your head upwards and out toward the crowd so that your voice can be heard from far away. Make sure you know all of the cheers by heart so that you can project them with confidence.\\n3-4. Communicate with your bases and spotter.\\nYour bases are the people holding you in the air as you do a stunt, and the spotter is the person standing behind you. You need to be able to talk to them clearly and directly to communicate if you are feeling unsafe. Develop a level of trust with your bases and spotter by getting to know them and telling them if you are unsure about a stunt.\\nMany cheer coaches will tell you to shout “DOWN” if you are falling during a stunt. Make sure your bases know what you will say if you start to fall.\\n3-5. Try new stunts if you are comfortable doing them.\\nOnce you’ve mastered a few basic stunts, your coach might ask you to try some more advanced ones. Only try new stunts if you feel comfortable and confident in your positions and your body. It’s okay to be nervous when you are trying something new, but if you ever feel unsafe, let your teammates and your coach know.\\nCoaches will appreciate it if you are willing to try new things.\\n4. Getting in Shape and Controlling Your Body\\n4-1. Get in shape\\nBeing a flyer in cheerleading requires a ton of body strength to keep your balance. Keep up your exercises even when you aren’t cheerleading to be ready for the season ahead. Practice leg exercises, upper body exercises, and core exercises to be able to do any stunt that is asked of you.\\nAsk the other cheerleaders on your team if they want to work out with you during the off-season. That way, you can all keep each other motivated to stay in shape.\\n4-2. Stretch every day to become more flexible.\\nFliers need to be able to do movements like leg lifts and the splits while in the air. Do stretches every single day so that you keep your flexibility up. Try doing stunt moves, like scorpions and leg lifts, on the ground so you are stretching the right muscles. Pratice holding them as you stand on the ground to maintain your balance.\\nAlways warm up your body for at least 10 minutes before you stretch, or you could injure yourself.\\n4-3. Practice good balance on the ground.\\nYour balance will be constantly shifting while you are being held in the air. First, do your stunt positions on flat ground. Once you have those mastered, try your stunts while standing on a cushion or pillow. This will mimic the balance corrections you will need to do while being held in the air.\\nPracticing your stunts on the ground will also give you more confidence in your body movements when it comes time to be held by your bases.\\n4-4. Be aware of your body.\\nIt can be easy to get distracted by the fliers next to you, your bases, or even the crowd you are performing for. Keep your mind on your own body positions and balance to make sure you are doing your stunts to the best of your ability. Practice doing your stunts in front of a crowd so you know how to focus when there are distractions around.\\nBeing aware of yourself will also help you avoid injury and avoid injuring your bases.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A cheerleading flyer is the person who is lifted up into the air during a stunt. They are usually very strong and have excellent balance while in the air. If you are a flyer or about to become one, you can do well by keeping your body held tightly in a stunt, communicating with your fellow cheerleaders, and keeping yourself in shape.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Doing Stunts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lock both of your legs in a thigh stand.\", \"描述\": \"Put both of your feet on either thigh of your 2 bases. Keep your legs straight so that your bases can grab onto your legs easily and hold you up. Keep your core tight and your arms in a solid V pose for the entire time you are holding this stunt.\\nIf you have a spotter behind you, they can help you jump or step up onto the bases.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your feet flat and your legs locked in a prep.\", \"描述\": \"Place each of your feet into the hands of your bases. Make sure your feet are flat and that you aren’t rolling onto the sides of your ankles. Keep your weight centered over both of your legs and lock your knees so that they stay straight.\\nUse your thighs to propel you upward from a squat position to a standing position.\\nThe bases will only lift your feet up to their chins. This is a preparatory stunt to get you comfortable in the air.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hold your body tight in an extension stunt.\", \"描述\": \"An extension is similar to a prep except you are propelled higher into the air. Keep your muscles squeezed tight as the backspot pulls up on your ankles and the bases lift your feet above their heads.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep one thigh perpendicular to the ground in a liberty.\", \"描述\": \"A liberty is an advanced stunt. As your bases propel you into a prep or extension, pull one leg upward so your foot touches your other knee. Keep the thigh of your bent knee perpendicular to the ground and hold your core tight to keep your balance.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Cradle your body as you fall to dismount.\", \"描述\": \"To get down from a stunt, hold your body tight as the bases throw you up into the air. Lean back slightly and hinge at the waist to let the bases catch you on your back in a cradle position. Drop your feet to the ground to stand up.\\nKeep your arms tucked in close to your body so that you don’t accidentally hit one of your bases.\\nOnce you're comfortable with a regular dismount, you can try more advanced moves. Do a toe touch and snap your legs back together before the bases catch you. Or, once you're propelled into the air, lean back, straighten your legs, cross your arms over your chest, and spin around once.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Balance in the Air\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lock your knees when you are in a stunt.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping your legs bent throws off your balance even when you are on the ground. When you are in a stunt, squeeze your legs muscles as tight as they can go with your legs as straight as possible. This will help you keep your balance in the air.\\nLocking your knees will also make it easier for your bases to hold you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your supporting foot flat in a stunt.\", \"描述\": \"If you roll onto your toes or the sides of your feet, you will throw off your balance. Keep your feet or foot flat when you are holding a stunt to maintain your balance and your body strength. This will also make it easier for the bases to keep you held up.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your entire body flexed tightly in stunt positions.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to hold each stunt position with your entire body to keep your balance and make sure you don’t fall. Start with flexing your rear muscles together as tight as they can go. Then, hold your legs, arms, and torso in place by flexing those muscles as well.\\nTry using the “pinch-a-penny” method where you imagine there is a penny in between your bum cheeks. Squeeze them tight so your imaginary penny doesn’t fall out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid looking down when you are in a stunt.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tempting to glance at the floor while you are up in the air. However, looking down can throw your balance off or even make you fall. Keep your head up and focus on something straight forward or high up.\\nYou may also seem like you lack confidence if you keep looking at the floor.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Performing with Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile at the crowd as you do your stunts.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being a flyer is putting on a performance. Keep your head held high and your smile outward as you are in the air. Project your face upwards and toward the crowd to look more confident.\\nLooking upward will also help you keep your balance in the air.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use sharp, precise movements.\", \"描述\": \"Your stunts will require your body to be in very specific positions. Make sure your arms and legs are hitting each movement strongly and with confidence. Straighten your arms if you are holding them up and keep your supporting leg strong. \\nIf you are being judged in a competition, the judges will reward you for your precise movements.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Project your voice outward and upward.\", \"描述\": \"A big part of performing is cheering and projecting your voice. Tilt your head upwards and out toward the crowd so that your voice can be heard from far away. Make sure you know all of the cheers by heart so that you can project them with confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Communicate with your bases and spotter.\", \"描述\": \"Your bases are the people holding you in the air as you do a stunt, and the spotter is the person standing behind you. You need to be able to talk to them clearly and directly to communicate if you are feeling unsafe. Develop a level of trust with your bases and spotter by getting to know them and telling them if you are unsure about a stunt.\\nMany cheer coaches will tell you to shout “DOWN” if you are falling during a stunt. Make sure your bases know what you will say if you start to fall.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try new stunts if you are comfortable doing them.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve mastered a few basic stunts, your coach might ask you to try some more advanced ones. Only try new stunts if you feel comfortable and confident in your positions and your body. It’s okay to be nervous when you are trying something new, but if you ever feel unsafe, let your teammates and your coach know.\\nCoaches will appreciate it if you are willing to try new things.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Getting in Shape and Controlling Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get in shape\", \"描述\": \"Being a flyer in cheerleading requires a ton of body strength to keep your balance. Keep up your exercises even when you aren’t cheerleading to be ready for the season ahead. Practice leg exercises, upper body exercises, and core exercises to be able to do any stunt that is asked of you.\\nAsk the other cheerleaders on your team if they want to work out with you during the off-season. That way, you can all keep each other motivated to stay in shape.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stretch every day to become more flexible.\", \"描述\": \"Fliers need to be able to do movements like leg lifts and the splits while in the air. Do stretches every single day so that you keep your flexibility up. Try doing stunt moves, like scorpions and leg lifts, on the ground so you are stretching the right muscles. Pratice holding them as you stand on the ground to maintain your balance.\\nAlways warm up your body for at least 10 minutes before you stretch, or you could injure yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice good balance on the ground.\", \"描述\": \"Your balance will be constantly shifting while you are being held in the air. First, do your stunt positions on flat ground. Once you have those mastered, try your stunts while standing on a cushion or pillow. This will mimic the balance corrections you will need to do while being held in the air.\\nPracticing your stunts on the ground will also give you more confidence in your body movements when it comes time to be held by your bases.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be aware of your body.\", \"描述\": \"It can be easy to get distracted by the fliers next to you, your bases, or even the crowd you are performing for. Keep your mind on your own body positions and balance to make sure you are doing your stunts to the best of your ability. Practice doing your stunts in front of a crowd so you know how to focus when there are distractions around.\\nBeing aware of yourself will also help you avoid injury and avoid injuring your bases.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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How to Be a Good Friend
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1. Being Trustworthy
1-1. Keep your promises.
Don't ever make a promise that you can't keep–or at least don't make a habit of it. If you say you'll hang out with a friend and a legitimate conflict arises, explain the situation. If you just cannot go, give your friend a gift and tell them you're sorry. Nobody's perfect, and it's okay if you have to break a promise once in a blue moon, but don't make it a regular thing. If this is recurring over time, then you will probably be seen as untrustworthy. If you promised a friend something important, keep your promise and don't risk the loss of a friend.
When you make a serious promise, look at your friend in the eyes and speak slowly to show that you mean it instead of just saying it because you think that you should. Do not break any such promise, as that will hurt your friend. It might even break your friendship!
1-2. Be dependable.
Being dependable is one of the most important aspects of being a good friend. Your friend will need you for support, especially in hard times. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who actually isn't interested in them. It's hard to rely on a person who doesn't behave in a consistent and trustworthy way. We all know well-intentioned but flaky people who say, "Okay, I will..." but never follow through. If that's you, know that you're eroding your friends' trust; eventually, they'll stop believing what you say.
If you're not sure you can do something, don't agree to do it and flake out later. Instead, be honest about the fact that you're not sure if you can make it.
Your friends should always feel like they can count on you, even when the going gets tough. If you're only there for the fun times, you'll be no more than a fair-weather friend.
1-3. Apologize when you've made a mistake.
If you want your friends to trust you, then you can't act like you're flawless. If you know you've made a mistake, own up to it instead of being in denial. Though your friends won't be happy that you made a mistake, they'll be very pleased that you're mature and grounded enough to admit it instead of just pretending that nothing is wrong, or worse -- blaming it on someone else.
When you say sorry, you should mean it. Let your friends hear the sincerity in your voice instead of thinking that you don't care how they feel. You should also mean it, take the time to explain to your friend the misunderstanding or how you feel bad and want to fix your relationship.
1-4. Allow yourself to be honest and vulnerable.
If you want to be a good friend and to have people trust you, then you have to be honest about your feelings, about your friends' actions, and about how you feel about your friendship. If you're honest about how you feel and allow yourself to be vulnerable with your feelings, that will open up direct lines of communication with your friends and will make them more likely to open up to you. If your friend hurt you, don't be afraid to talk about it; if something is upsetting you, don't feel too shy to open up to your friend about it.
Being honest is different from being so blunt that you're hurting your friends. If you think your friend has a drinking problem, for example, then you owe it to your friend to start a conversation about it. But if you think your friend looks kind of weird in her new dress, you may want to keep your mouth shut.
Be real. Connect with people whom you value on a deep level if you want to have sustainable, long-term friendships. Invest in people you can be yourself around. If your behavior lacks sincerity, your friendship won't last. Be honest about how you really feel even if you think your friend might disagree.
1-5. Disagree with your friend in a respectful way.
When a friend shares something that you find objectionable or simply so not agree with their opinion, it’s okay to say so! Let your friend know what you think and why. Just make sure that you are being respectful when you share your point of view.
If you start to feel upset, take a moment to notice these feelings and any physical response you are having as well. It is normal to feel angry, but it will be much easier to respond in a respectful way if you calm yourself down first.
Try to approach the situation with curiosity and a desire to learn more about your friend’s perspective.
Speak your mind directly and be brave when you do so. It is not easy to oppose a friend, especially if they do or say something hateful or mean-spirited.
1-6. Don't use people.
If one of your friends suspects that you're just using them, then they'll drop you like a hot potato. Good friendships don't arise from hoping someone else's popularity or networks will rub off on you. If you're trying to be friends with a person just to get into a certain clique, that's not friendship – it's opportunism – and eventually, the shallow nature of your involvement will reveal itself.
And if you have a reputation of using people, then new people won't be too excited to start a friendship with you.
A friendship is about giving and taking. Sure, it may be convenient that one of your friends gives you a ride to school every day, but make sure that you do something for that friend in return.
1-7. Be loyal
If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep it and don't talk about it with anyone else, just as you'd expect your friend to do for you. Don't discuss your friend behind their back, and don't spread rumors about the confidences they've imparted to you. Never say anything about your friend that you would not be prepared to repeat to their face. Be loyal to your true friends and be prepared to defend them if your new friends, or people you barely know, start gossiping about them.
Part of being loyal is understanding the importance of a long-lasting and stable friendship. Don't throw all that away just to spend all your time hanging out with your new boyfriend or girlfriend or a cool new person you just met. Remember that your friends might feel left out.
If you have a reputation for being a blabbermouth or a gossip, then your friends will quickly find out and they'll be hesitant to reveal anything personal to you in the future -- or even to spend much time with you at all.
Don't let others say bad things about your friend, either. Until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story, treat comments that are not supportive as hearsay and rumors. If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, then respond with something like, "I know them, and that doesn't sound right. Let me talk to them; find out their perspective on this. Until then, I would appreciate it if you didn't spread that around."
1-8. Be respectful.
Good friends show respect for each other by being openly and mutually supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align with your own, respect their choices and be open to hearing more about them. If you want your friend to trust you, then your friend should feel comfortable voicing opinions that you may not agree with, or discussing a new perspective with you. If your friend thinks that you'll shoot down any interesting or original idea that they may have, then your friendship won't be valued.
Sometimes your friend will say things that you find boring, uncomfortable or annoying, but if you have respect for your friend, you'll give your friend the space to speak, and to do so without judgment.
During times when you don't see eye to eye with your friend, disagree respectfully and be willing to see things differently.
2. Remembering to Include Your Friends
Do not let your friends feel left out, ever.
This is a short but essential part of being a good friend. Never let your friends feel left out. Just because you get a partner or start dating doesn't mean that they're past you! Always remember: When you're going through a crisis, your friends will be there for you. When the cool people in class turn everyone against you, your friends will be there for you. Remember to be there for them too!
3. Being Supportive
3-1. Be selfless.
Though you can't be selfless all the time, being selfless is an important part of being a good friend. Accommodate your friend's wishes whenever you can, provided this is done in a balanced way. Reciprocate his or her acts of kindness with caring deeds of your own, and your friendship will be strengthened. If you get a reputation for being selfish and only being around your friends when you need some help, then people will know you're not looking out for them.
Do a favor for your friend just out of the goodness of your heart, not because you want something in return.
There's a difference between being selfless at the right time and letting people walk all over you. If you feel like you're always helping your friends and get nothing back, then you may have a problem.
Don't abuse generosity or wear out your welcome. When your friend does something nice for you, reciprocate quickly. Return any money you borrow promptly. Go home when it seems like the time is right.
3-2. Be a good listener.
Don't monopolize conversations, but rather take the time to truly understand and support your friend when they are talking to you. It sounds simple, but make sure you're listening as much as you're talking about yourself. If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, your friend isn't getting anything out of the relationship. Listening opens space between the two of you and reassures your friend that you care.
If you're just waiting for your friend to finish talking so you can say what you want to say, it'll be obvious right away.
Try to strike a balance of letting your friend talk about half of the time. Though some people are shyer than others, if your friend feels like they can't get a word in when they're around you, it'll be hard to have a healthy, two-sided friendship.
If you accidentally interrupt, say something like, "Oh--I'm sorry, go on."
3-3. Help your friends deal with their struggles.
To be truly supportive, you'll have to be able to watch out for your friends when they're having a tough time. If you sense that your friend is getting into some sort of trouble over which they have little control, such as taking drugs, being promiscuous, or getting too drunk at a party, help him or her get away from the situation by not being afraid to speak up about it.
Don't assume that your friend can handle it alone; this may be the very time that your voice of common sense is needed to wake them from their fugue. If you see a problem, speak up, no matter how awkward you may feel.
Let your friend know that you can give him a shoulder to cry on during this tough time. If your friend feels less alone, it'll be easier for them to deal with their troubles.
If all your friend wants to do about the problem is to talk, that's fine at first, but you should help your friend find practical solutions to his problems.
For example, if your friend admitted to having an eating disorder and simply promises to start eating more, you might talk to them about taking more serious measures to address the problem, like talking to a health professional. However, keep in mind that you need to have boundaries as well. You cannot fix all of your friend’s problems for them.
3-4. Be there in a time of crisis.
If your friend has to go to the hospital, visit. If their dog runs away, help to find it. If they need someone to pick them up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school when they're absent. Send cards and care packages when you're living far apart. If there is a death in their family, attend the funeral. Let your friend see that they can count on you any time.
Just make sure that your friend isn't always in the middle of some kind of crisis, however contrived it may be. You should be there to help out during the hard times, but that can't be the basis of your whole relationship.
Part of being there for your friend in a crisis is providing emotional support, too. Care about your friend enough to help them open up and let the tears roll. Hand them a tissue and listen openly. You don't have to say anything if nothing seems right; just stay calm and reassuring.
If your friend is going through a crisis, don't just say, "Everything is going to be all right" if it's not going to be. It's hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none. Instead, let your friend know you are there for them. Stay honest, but upbeat and positive.
If your friend begins talking about committing suicide or hurting other people, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the "respect privacy" step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a helpline or professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend's parents or spouse (unless they are the ones causing the problems) before involving anyone else.
3-5. Give thoughtful advice
To be a good friend, you should be able to weigh your friend's situation from his or her perspective and to provide your opinion without insisting that your friend should do whatever you say. Don't judge your friend; simply advise them when they reach out.
Avoid giving unsought for advice. Allow venting where needed and be willing to offer advice if it's clear that it's sought. Always ask before assuming you can give advice.
In some cases, a friend could use a little bit of tough love to keep them out of a dangerous situation. Use discretion here; you don't want to lecture or overwhelm your friend. Tell them how you perceive the situation using factual information, and suggest what you might do in the same circumstances.
3-6. Give your friend some space when they need it.
Part of being supportive means supporting the fact that your friend won't always want to spend time with you. Learn to step back and give your friend space. Understand if your friend wants to be alone or to hang out with other people. There's no need to become clingy or needy. If you're clingy and check in with your friend every two seconds if they aren't around, you'll start to look like a possessive significant other, and that will not be appreciated.
Don't get jealous if your friend has lots of other friends. Every relationship is special and different, and that doesn't mean that your friend doesn't appreciate you.
Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.
4. Making Your Friendship Last
4-1. Learn to forgive.
If you want your friendship to last, then you should be able to forgive your friend and to move forward. If you hold a grudge and let your bitterness and resentment build up, then you won't be able to move forward. Recognize that nobody's perfect and that if your friend is sincerely sorry and if they didn't do something too horrible, that you should move past it.
If your friend really did do something so unforgivable that you just can't get past it, then it's better to move on than to try to save the friendship when it's doomed. But this should happen very rarely.
If you're angry at your friend but won't tell them why you'll never be able to forgive them if you don't talk about it.
4-2. Accept your friend for who they are.
To make your friendship thrive, you shouldn't try to change your friend or make your friend see the world from your perspective. Celebrate what makes your friend (and you) unique! If you're conservative and your friend is liberal, then accept that instead of trying to argue about it all the time. You should appreciate the fresh perspective your friend can bring to your experiences instead of wanting your friend to see everything from your perspective.
The more you are with one another, the less you idealize each other and the more you accept one another for who you really are. This is what being a truly good friend is really about -- caring deeply for each other, even if you know you're both full of flaws.
4-3. Go beyond the call of duty.
A friend will wait while you do your homework. A great friend stays up all night helping. Remember that if you are a good friend, people want to be a good friend to you. Recognize the moments when you need to go above and beyond to help your friend and know that this will make your friendship grow, and that your friend will do the same for you in return.
If your friend really needs you and keeps saying, "No, you don't have to do that..." learn to read between the lines and know that your friend really does need you.
4-4. Stay in touch no matter what.
As the years pass, people tend to grow apart. Maybe you and a friend will move to different places and only see each other every once in a while. Sometimes years may elapse without much contact. If you never stop caring about your friend, speak up. They will be happy to hear from you. You were friends for a reason in the past, and you may find the same bond still ties you together.
Don't let your location determine the strength of your bond. If your friendship is meaningful, then it should keep growing even if you're an ocean apart.
Make a goal of having monthly phone or Skype dates with your friend even if you're in a completely different time zone. If keeping up with your friend becomes a routine, your relationship will continue to thrive.
4-5. Let your friendship evolve.
If you want to be a good friend, then you have to understand that your friendship won't be the same in high school, college, or in the adult world. Sure, when you were fourteen, you might have spent all of your time with your best friend, but by the time you went off to separate colleges or started out your adult lives, you naturally spent less time talking. This doesn't mean that your friendship isn't as strong; it just means that your lives are evolving, and your friendship is taking on a different shape over the years.
Don't try to make your friendship be exactly the same as it was ten years ago. Think of it as elastic, not solid.
If your friend is married with kids or even just in a serious relationship, and you're not, be respectful of the fact that, while your friend cares for you, they won't be on call 24/7 like they used to be.
Appreciate the changes your friendship has made over the years, and learn to grow along with your relationship.
Your friend needs to be a good friend to you in return.
Tips
You don't have to spend a lot of time and money to be a good friend. The best gifts are often handmade and come from the heart. A phone call can mean as much as a visit.
Do not text or call your friend every hour of the day. They will become annoyed and may not respond when you are calling about something that is actually important.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Trustworthy\\n1-1. Keep your promises.\\nDon't ever make a promise that you can't keep–or at least don't make a habit of it. If you say you'll hang out with a friend and a legitimate conflict arises, explain the situation. If you just cannot go, give your friend a gift and tell them you're sorry. Nobody's perfect, and it's okay if you have to break a promise once in a blue moon, but don't make it a regular thing. If this is recurring over time, then you will probably be seen as untrustworthy. If you promised a friend something important, keep your promise and don't risk the loss of a friend.\\nWhen you make a serious promise, look at your friend in the eyes and speak slowly to show that you mean it instead of just saying it because you think that you should. Do not break any such promise, as that will hurt your friend. It might even break your friendship!\\n1-2. Be dependable.\\nBeing dependable is one of the most important aspects of being a good friend. Your friend will need you for support, especially in hard times. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who actually isn't interested in them. It's hard to rely on a person who doesn't behave in a consistent and trustworthy way. We all know well-intentioned but flaky people who say, \\\"Okay, I will...\\\" but never follow through. If that's you, know that you're eroding your friends' trust; eventually, they'll stop believing what you say.\\nIf you're not sure you can do something, don't agree to do it and flake out later. Instead, be honest about the fact that you're not sure if you can make it.\\nYour friends should always feel like they can count on you, even when the going gets tough. If you're only there for the fun times, you'll be no more than a fair-weather friend.\\n1-3. Apologize when you've made a mistake.\\nIf you want your friends to trust you, then you can't act like you're flawless. If you know you've made a mistake, own up to it instead of being in denial. Though your friends won't be happy that you made a mistake, they'll be very pleased that you're mature and grounded enough to admit it instead of just pretending that nothing is wrong, or worse -- blaming it on someone else.\\nWhen you say sorry, you should mean it. Let your friends hear the sincerity in your voice instead of thinking that you don't care how they feel. You should also mean it, take the time to explain to your friend the misunderstanding or how you feel bad and want to fix your relationship.\\n1-4. Allow yourself to be honest and vulnerable.\\nIf you want to be a good friend and to have people trust you, then you have to be honest about your feelings, about your friends' actions, and about how you feel about your friendship. If you're honest about how you feel and allow yourself to be vulnerable with your feelings, that will open up direct lines of communication with your friends and will make them more likely to open up to you. If your friend hurt you, don't be afraid to talk about it; if something is upsetting you, don't feel too shy to open up to your friend about it.\\nBeing honest is different from being so blunt that you're hurting your friends. If you think your friend has a drinking problem, for example, then you owe it to your friend to start a conversation about it. But if you think your friend looks kind of weird in her new dress, you may want to keep your mouth shut.\\nBe real. Connect with people whom you value on a deep level if you want to have sustainable, long-term friendships. Invest in people you can be yourself around. If your behavior lacks sincerity, your friendship won't last. Be honest about how you really feel even if you think your friend might disagree.\\n1-5. Disagree with your friend in a respectful way.\\nWhen a friend shares something that you find objectionable or simply so not agree with their opinion, it’s okay to say so! Let your friend know what you think and why. Just make sure that you are being respectful when you share your point of view.\\nIf you start to feel upset, take a moment to notice these feelings and any physical response you are having as well. It is normal to feel angry, but it will be much easier to respond in a respectful way if you calm yourself down first.\\nTry to approach the situation with curiosity and a desire to learn more about your friend’s perspective.\\nSpeak your mind directly and be brave when you do so. It is not easy to oppose a friend, especially if they do or say something hateful or mean-spirited.\\n1-6. Don't use people.\\nIf one of your friends suspects that you're just using them, then they'll drop you like a hot potato. Good friendships don't arise from hoping someone else's popularity or networks will rub off on you. If you're trying to be friends with a person just to get into a certain clique, that's not friendship – it's opportunism – and eventually, the shallow nature of your involvement will reveal itself.\\nAnd if you have a reputation of using people, then new people won't be too excited to start a friendship with you.\\nA friendship is about giving and taking. Sure, it may be convenient that one of your friends gives you a ride to school every day, but make sure that you do something for that friend in return.\\n1-7. Be loyal\\nIf your friend tells you something in confidence, keep it and don't talk about it with anyone else, just as you'd expect your friend to do for you. Don't discuss your friend behind their back, and don't spread rumors about the confidences they've imparted to you. Never say anything about your friend that you would not be prepared to repeat to their face. Be loyal to your true friends and be prepared to defend them if your new friends, or people you barely know, start gossiping about them.\\nPart of being loyal is understanding the importance of a long-lasting and stable friendship. Don't throw all that away just to spend all your time hanging out with your new boyfriend or girlfriend or a cool new person you just met. Remember that your friends might feel left out.\\nIf you have a reputation for being a blabbermouth or a gossip, then your friends will quickly find out and they'll be hesitant to reveal anything personal to you in the future -- or even to spend much time with you at all.\\nDon't let others say bad things about your friend, either. Until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story, treat comments that are not supportive as hearsay and rumors. If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, then respond with something like, \\\"I know them, and that doesn't sound right. Let me talk to them; find out their perspective on this. Until then, I would appreciate it if you didn't spread that around.\\\"\\n1-8. Be respectful.\\nGood friends show respect for each other by being openly and mutually supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align with your own, respect their choices and be open to hearing more about them. If you want your friend to trust you, then your friend should feel comfortable voicing opinions that you may not agree with, or discussing a new perspective with you. If your friend thinks that you'll shoot down any interesting or original idea that they may have, then your friendship won't be valued.\\nSometimes your friend will say things that you find boring, uncomfortable or annoying, but if you have respect for your friend, you'll give your friend the space to speak, and to do so without judgment.\\nDuring times when you don't see eye to eye with your friend, disagree respectfully and be willing to see things differently.\\n2. Remembering to Include Your Friends\\nDo not let your friends feel left out, ever.\\nThis is a short but essential part of being a good friend. Never let your friends feel left out. Just because you get a partner or start dating doesn't mean that they're past you! Always remember: When you're going through a crisis, your friends will be there for you. When the cool people in class turn everyone against you, your friends will be there for you. Remember to be there for them too!\\n3. Being Supportive\\n3-1. Be selfless.\\nThough you can't be selfless all the time, being selfless is an important part of being a good friend. Accommodate your friend's wishes whenever you can, provided this is done in a balanced way. Reciprocate his or her acts of kindness with caring deeds of your own, and your friendship will be strengthened. If you get a reputation for being selfish and only being around your friends when you need some help, then people will know you're not looking out for them.\\nDo a favor for your friend just out of the goodness of your heart, not because you want something in return.\\nThere's a difference between being selfless at the right time and letting people walk all over you. If you feel like you're always helping your friends and get nothing back, then you may have a problem.\\nDon't abuse generosity or wear out your welcome. When your friend does something nice for you, reciprocate quickly. Return any money you borrow promptly. Go home when it seems like the time is right.\\n3-2. Be a good listener.\\nDon't monopolize conversations, but rather take the time to truly understand and support your friend when they are talking to you. It sounds simple, but make sure you're listening as much as you're talking about yourself. If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, your friend isn't getting anything out of the relationship. Listening opens space between the two of you and reassures your friend that you care.\\nIf you're just waiting for your friend to finish talking so you can say what you want to say, it'll be obvious right away.\\nTry to strike a balance of letting your friend talk about half of the time. Though some people are shyer than others, if your friend feels like they can't get a word in when they're around you, it'll be hard to have a healthy, two-sided friendship.\\nIf you accidentally interrupt, say something like, \\\"Oh--I'm sorry, go on.\\\"\\n3-3. Help your friends deal with their struggles.\\nTo be truly supportive, you'll have to be able to watch out for your friends when they're having a tough time. If you sense that your friend is getting into some sort of trouble over which they have little control, such as taking drugs, being promiscuous, or getting too drunk at a party, help him or her get away from the situation by not being afraid to speak up about it.\\nDon't assume that your friend can handle it alone; this may be the very time that your voice of common sense is needed to wake them from their fugue. If you see a problem, speak up, no matter how awkward you may feel.\\nLet your friend know that you can give him a shoulder to cry on during this tough time. If your friend feels less alone, it'll be easier for them to deal with their troubles.\\nIf all your friend wants to do about the problem is to talk, that's fine at first, but you should help your friend find practical solutions to his problems.\\nFor example, if your friend admitted to having an eating disorder and simply promises to start eating more, you might talk to them about taking more serious measures to address the problem, like talking to a health professional. However, keep in mind that you need to have boundaries as well. You cannot fix all of your friend’s problems for them.\\n3-4. Be there in a time of crisis.\\nIf your friend has to go to the hospital, visit. If their dog runs away, help to find it. If they need someone to pick them up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school when they're absent. Send cards and care packages when you're living far apart. If there is a death in their family, attend the funeral. Let your friend see that they can count on you any time.\\nJust make sure that your friend isn't always in the middle of some kind of crisis, however contrived it may be. You should be there to help out during the hard times, but that can't be the basis of your whole relationship.\\nPart of being there for your friend in a crisis is providing emotional support, too. Care about your friend enough to help them open up and let the tears roll. Hand them a tissue and listen openly. You don't have to say anything if nothing seems right; just stay calm and reassuring.\\nIf your friend is going through a crisis, don't just say, \\\"Everything is going to be all right\\\" if it's not going to be. It's hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none. Instead, let your friend know you are there for them. Stay honest, but upbeat and positive.\\nIf your friend begins talking about committing suicide or hurting other people, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the \\\"respect privacy\\\" step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a helpline or professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend's parents or spouse (unless they are the ones causing the problems) before involving anyone else.\\n3-5. Give thoughtful advice\\nTo be a good friend, you should be able to weigh your friend's situation from his or her perspective and to provide your opinion without insisting that your friend should do whatever you say. Don't judge your friend; simply advise them when they reach out.\\nAvoid giving unsought for advice. Allow venting where needed and be willing to offer advice if it's clear that it's sought. Always ask before assuming you can give advice.\\nIn some cases, a friend could use a little bit of tough love to keep them out of a dangerous situation. Use discretion here; you don't want to lecture or overwhelm your friend. Tell them how you perceive the situation using factual information, and suggest what you might do in the same circumstances.\\n3-6. Give your friend some space when they need it.\\nPart of being supportive means supporting the fact that your friend won't always want to spend time with you. Learn to step back and give your friend space. Understand if your friend wants to be alone or to hang out with other people. There's no need to become clingy or needy. If you're clingy and check in with your friend every two seconds if they aren't around, you'll start to look like a possessive significant other, and that will not be appreciated.\\nDon't get jealous if your friend has lots of other friends. Every relationship is special and different, and that doesn't mean that your friend doesn't appreciate you.\\nAllowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.\\n4. Making Your Friendship Last\\n4-1. Learn to forgive.\\nIf you want your friendship to last, then you should be able to forgive your friend and to move forward. If you hold a grudge and let your bitterness and resentment build up, then you won't be able to move forward. Recognize that nobody's perfect and that if your friend is sincerely sorry and if they didn't do something too horrible, that you should move past it.\\nIf your friend really did do something so unforgivable that you just can't get past it, then it's better to move on than to try to save the friendship when it's doomed. But this should happen very rarely.\\nIf you're angry at your friend but won't tell them why you'll never be able to forgive them if you don't talk about it.\\n4-2. Accept your friend for who they are.\\nTo make your friendship thrive, you shouldn't try to change your friend or make your friend see the world from your perspective. Celebrate what makes your friend (and you) unique! If you're conservative and your friend is liberal, then accept that instead of trying to argue about it all the time. You should appreciate the fresh perspective your friend can bring to your experiences instead of wanting your friend to see everything from your perspective.\\nThe more you are with one another, the less you idealize each other and the more you accept one another for who you really are. This is what being a truly good friend is really about -- caring deeply for each other, even if you know you're both full of flaws.\\n4-3. Go beyond the call of duty.\\nA friend will wait while you do your homework. A great friend stays up all night helping. Remember that if you are a good friend, people want to be a good friend to you. Recognize the moments when you need to go above and beyond to help your friend and know that this will make your friendship grow, and that your friend will do the same for you in return.\\nIf your friend really needs you and keeps saying, \\\"No, you don't have to do that...\\\" learn to read between the lines and know that your friend really does need you.\\n4-4. Stay in touch no matter what.\\nAs the years pass, people tend to grow apart. Maybe you and a friend will move to different places and only see each other every once in a while. Sometimes years may elapse without much contact. If you never stop caring about your friend, speak up. They will be happy to hear from you. You were friends for a reason in the past, and you may find the same bond still ties you together.\\nDon't let your location determine the strength of your bond. If your friendship is meaningful, then it should keep growing even if you're an ocean apart.\\nMake a goal of having monthly phone or Skype dates with your friend even if you're in a completely different time zone. If keeping up with your friend becomes a routine, your relationship will continue to thrive.\\n4-5. Let your friendship evolve.\\nIf you want to be a good friend, then you have to understand that your friendship won't be the same in high school, college, or in the adult world. Sure, when you were fourteen, you might have spent all of your time with your best friend, but by the time you went off to separate colleges or started out your adult lives, you naturally spent less time talking. This doesn't mean that your friendship isn't as strong; it just means that your lives are evolving, and your friendship is taking on a different shape over the years.\\nDon't try to make your friendship be exactly the same as it was ten years ago. Think of it as elastic, not solid.\\nIf your friend is married with kids or even just in a serious relationship, and you're not, be respectful of the fact that, while your friend cares for you, they won't be on call 24/7 like they used to be.\\nAppreciate the changes your friendship has made over the years, and learn to grow along with your relationship.\\nYour friend needs to be a good friend to you in return.\\nTips\\nYou don't have to spend a lot of time and money to be a good friend. The best gifts are often handmade and come from the heart. A phone call can mean as much as a visit.\\nDo not text or call your friend every hour of the day. They will become annoyed and may not respond when you are calling about something that is actually important.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good friend isn't always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. Good friendships provide strength, happiness, and meaning in ways that social media or striving for popularity cannot. All true friendships are built on mutual trust and support, so whether you’re looking to make new, quality friendships or improve your existing ones, there are things you can do to be a good friend to others.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Trustworthy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your promises.\", \"描述\": \"Don't ever make a promise that you can't keep–or at least don't make a habit of it. If you say you'll hang out with a friend and a legitimate conflict arises, explain the situation. If you just cannot go, give your friend a gift and tell them you're sorry. Nobody's perfect, and it's okay if you have to break a promise once in a blue moon, but don't make it a regular thing. If this is recurring over time, then you will probably be seen as untrustworthy. If you promised a friend something important, keep your promise and don't risk the loss of a friend.\\nWhen you make a serious promise, look at your friend in the eyes and speak slowly to show that you mean it instead of just saying it because you think that you should. Do not break any such promise, as that will hurt your friend. It might even break your friendship!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be dependable.\", \"描述\": \"Being dependable is one of the most important aspects of being a good friend. Your friend will need you for support, especially in hard times. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who actually isn't interested in them. It's hard to rely on a person who doesn't behave in a consistent and trustworthy way. We all know well-intentioned but flaky people who say, \\\"Okay, I will...\\\" but never follow through. If that's you, know that you're eroding your friends' trust; eventually, they'll stop believing what you say.\\nIf you're not sure you can do something, don't agree to do it and flake out later. Instead, be honest about the fact that you're not sure if you can make it.\\nYour friends should always feel like they can count on you, even when the going gets tough. If you're only there for the fun times, you'll be no more than a fair-weather friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apologize when you've made a mistake.\", \"描述\": \"If you want your friends to trust you, then you can't act like you're flawless. If you know you've made a mistake, own up to it instead of being in denial. Though your friends won't be happy that you made a mistake, they'll be very pleased that you're mature and grounded enough to admit it instead of just pretending that nothing is wrong, or worse -- blaming it on someone else.\\nWhen you say sorry, you should mean it. Let your friends hear the sincerity in your voice instead of thinking that you don't care how they feel. You should also mean it, take the time to explain to your friend the misunderstanding or how you feel bad and want to fix your relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Allow yourself to be honest and vulnerable.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good friend and to have people trust you, then you have to be honest about your feelings, about your friends' actions, and about how you feel about your friendship. If you're honest about how you feel and allow yourself to be vulnerable with your feelings, that will open up direct lines of communication with your friends and will make them more likely to open up to you. If your friend hurt you, don't be afraid to talk about it; if something is upsetting you, don't feel too shy to open up to your friend about it.\\nBeing honest is different from being so blunt that you're hurting your friends. If you think your friend has a drinking problem, for example, then you owe it to your friend to start a conversation about it. But if you think your friend looks kind of weird in her new dress, you may want to keep your mouth shut.\\nBe real. Connect with people whom you value on a deep level if you want to have sustainable, long-term friendships. Invest in people you can be yourself around. If your behavior lacks sincerity, your friendship won't last. Be honest about how you really feel even if you think your friend might disagree.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Disagree with your friend in a respectful way.\", \"描述\": \"When a friend shares something that you find objectionable or simply so not agree with their opinion, it’s okay to say so! Let your friend know what you think and why. Just make sure that you are being respectful when you share your point of view.\\nIf you start to feel upset, take a moment to notice these feelings and any physical response you are having as well. It is normal to feel angry, but it will be much easier to respond in a respectful way if you calm yourself down first.\\nTry to approach the situation with curiosity and a desire to learn more about your friend’s perspective.\\nSpeak your mind directly and be brave when you do so. It is not easy to oppose a friend, especially if they do or say something hateful or mean-spirited.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't use people.\", \"描述\": \"If one of your friends suspects that you're just using them, then they'll drop you like a hot potato. Good friendships don't arise from hoping someone else's popularity or networks will rub off on you. If you're trying to be friends with a person just to get into a certain clique, that's not friendship – it's opportunism – and eventually, the shallow nature of your involvement will reveal itself.\\nAnd if you have a reputation of using people, then new people won't be too excited to start a friendship with you.\\nA friendship is about giving and taking. Sure, it may be convenient that one of your friends gives you a ride to school every day, but make sure that you do something for that friend in return.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be loyal\", \"描述\": \"If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep it and don't talk about it with anyone else, just as you'd expect your friend to do for you. Don't discuss your friend behind their back, and don't spread rumors about the confidences they've imparted to you. Never say anything about your friend that you would not be prepared to repeat to their face. Be loyal to your true friends and be prepared to defend them if your new friends, or people you barely know, start gossiping about them.\\nPart of being loyal is understanding the importance of a long-lasting and stable friendship. Don't throw all that away just to spend all your time hanging out with your new boyfriend or girlfriend or a cool new person you just met. Remember that your friends might feel left out.\\nIf you have a reputation for being a blabbermouth or a gossip, then your friends will quickly find out and they'll be hesitant to reveal anything personal to you in the future -- or even to spend much time with you at all.\\nDon't let others say bad things about your friend, either. Until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story, treat comments that are not supportive as hearsay and rumors. If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, then respond with something like, \\\"I know them, and that doesn't sound right. Let me talk to them; find out their perspective on this. Until then, I would appreciate it if you didn't spread that around.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"Good friends show respect for each other by being openly and mutually supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align with your own, respect their choices and be open to hearing more about them. If you want your friend to trust you, then your friend should feel comfortable voicing opinions that you may not agree with, or discussing a new perspective with you. If your friend thinks that you'll shoot down any interesting or original idea that they may have, then your friendship won't be valued.\\nSometimes your friend will say things that you find boring, uncomfortable or annoying, but if you have respect for your friend, you'll give your friend the space to speak, and to do so without judgment.\\nDuring times when you don't see eye to eye with your friend, disagree respectfully and be willing to see things differently.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remembering to Include Your Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not let your friends feel left out, ever.\", \"描述\": \"This is a short but essential part of being a good friend. Never let your friends feel left out. Just because you get a partner or start dating doesn't mean that they're past you! Always remember: When you're going through a crisis, your friends will be there for you. When the cool people in class turn everyone against you, your friends will be there for you. Remember to be there for them too!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Supportive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be selfless.\", \"描述\": \"Though you can't be selfless all the time, being selfless is an important part of being a good friend. Accommodate your friend's wishes whenever you can, provided this is done in a balanced way. Reciprocate his or her acts of kindness with caring deeds of your own, and your friendship will be strengthened. If you get a reputation for being selfish and only being around your friends when you need some help, then people will know you're not looking out for them.\\nDo a favor for your friend just out of the goodness of your heart, not because you want something in return.\\nThere's a difference between being selfless at the right time and letting people walk all over you. If you feel like you're always helping your friends and get nothing back, then you may have a problem.\\nDon't abuse generosity or wear out your welcome. When your friend does something nice for you, reciprocate quickly. Return any money you borrow promptly. Go home when it seems like the time is right.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be a good listener.\", \"描述\": \"Don't monopolize conversations, but rather take the time to truly understand and support your friend when they are talking to you. It sounds simple, but make sure you're listening as much as you're talking about yourself. If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, your friend isn't getting anything out of the relationship. Listening opens space between the two of you and reassures your friend that you care.\\nIf you're just waiting for your friend to finish talking so you can say what you want to say, it'll be obvious right away.\\nTry to strike a balance of letting your friend talk about half of the time. Though some people are shyer than others, if your friend feels like they can't get a word in when they're around you, it'll be hard to have a healthy, two-sided friendship.\\nIf you accidentally interrupt, say something like, \\\"Oh--I'm sorry, go on.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Help your friends deal with their struggles.\", \"描述\": \"To be truly supportive, you'll have to be able to watch out for your friends when they're having a tough time. If you sense that your friend is getting into some sort of trouble over which they have little control, such as taking drugs, being promiscuous, or getting too drunk at a party, help him or her get away from the situation by not being afraid to speak up about it.\\nDon't assume that your friend can handle it alone; this may be the very time that your voice of common sense is needed to wake them from their fugue. If you see a problem, speak up, no matter how awkward you may feel.\\nLet your friend know that you can give him a shoulder to cry on during this tough time. If your friend feels less alone, it'll be easier for them to deal with their troubles.\\nIf all your friend wants to do about the problem is to talk, that's fine at first, but you should help your friend find practical solutions to his problems.\\nFor example, if your friend admitted to having an eating disorder and simply promises to start eating more, you might talk to them about taking more serious measures to address the problem, like talking to a health professional. However, keep in mind that you need to have boundaries as well. You cannot fix all of your friend’s problems for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be there in a time of crisis.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend has to go to the hospital, visit. If their dog runs away, help to find it. If they need someone to pick them up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school when they're absent. Send cards and care packages when you're living far apart. If there is a death in their family, attend the funeral. Let your friend see that they can count on you any time.\\nJust make sure that your friend isn't always in the middle of some kind of crisis, however contrived it may be. You should be there to help out during the hard times, but that can't be the basis of your whole relationship.\\nPart of being there for your friend in a crisis is providing emotional support, too. Care about your friend enough to help them open up and let the tears roll. Hand them a tissue and listen openly. You don't have to say anything if nothing seems right; just stay calm and reassuring.\\nIf your friend is going through a crisis, don't just say, \\\"Everything is going to be all right\\\" if it's not going to be. It's hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none. Instead, let your friend know you are there for them. Stay honest, but upbeat and positive.\\nIf your friend begins talking about committing suicide or hurting other people, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the \\\"respect privacy\\\" step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a helpline or professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend's parents or spouse (unless they are the ones causing the problems) before involving anyone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give thoughtful advice\", \"描述\": \"To be a good friend, you should be able to weigh your friend's situation from his or her perspective and to provide your opinion without insisting that your friend should do whatever you say. Don't judge your friend; simply advise them when they reach out.\\nAvoid giving unsought for advice. Allow venting where needed and be willing to offer advice if it's clear that it's sought. Always ask before assuming you can give advice.\\nIn some cases, a friend could use a little bit of tough love to keep them out of a dangerous situation. Use discretion here; you don't want to lecture or overwhelm your friend. Tell them how you perceive the situation using factual information, and suggest what you might do in the same circumstances.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give your friend some space when they need it.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being supportive means supporting the fact that your friend won't always want to spend time with you. Learn to step back and give your friend space. Understand if your friend wants to be alone or to hang out with other people. There's no need to become clingy or needy. If you're clingy and check in with your friend every two seconds if they aren't around, you'll start to look like a possessive significant other, and that will not be appreciated.\\nDon't get jealous if your friend has lots of other friends. Every relationship is special and different, and that doesn't mean that your friend doesn't appreciate you.\\nAllowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Making Your Friendship Last\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to forgive.\", \"描述\": \"If you want your friendship to last, then you should be able to forgive your friend and to move forward. If you hold a grudge and let your bitterness and resentment build up, then you won't be able to move forward. Recognize that nobody's perfect and that if your friend is sincerely sorry and if they didn't do something too horrible, that you should move past it.\\nIf your friend really did do something so unforgivable that you just can't get past it, then it's better to move on than to try to save the friendship when it's doomed. But this should happen very rarely.\\nIf you're angry at your friend but won't tell them why you'll never be able to forgive them if you don't talk about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept your friend for who they are.\", \"描述\": \"To make your friendship thrive, you shouldn't try to change your friend or make your friend see the world from your perspective. Celebrate what makes your friend (and you) unique! If you're conservative and your friend is liberal, then accept that instead of trying to argue about it all the time. You should appreciate the fresh perspective your friend can bring to your experiences instead of wanting your friend to see everything from your perspective.\\nThe more you are with one another, the less you idealize each other and the more you accept one another for who you really are. This is what being a truly good friend is really about -- caring deeply for each other, even if you know you're both full of flaws.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go beyond the call of duty.\", \"描述\": \"A friend will wait while you do your homework. A great friend stays up all night helping. Remember that if you are a good friend, people want to be a good friend to you. Recognize the moments when you need to go above and beyond to help your friend and know that this will make your friendship grow, and that your friend will do the same for you in return.\\nIf your friend really needs you and keeps saying, \\\"No, you don't have to do that...\\\" learn to read between the lines and know that your friend really does need you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay in touch no matter what.\", \"描述\": \"As the years pass, people tend to grow apart. Maybe you and a friend will move to different places and only see each other every once in a while. Sometimes years may elapse without much contact. If you never stop caring about your friend, speak up. They will be happy to hear from you. You were friends for a reason in the past, and you may find the same bond still ties you together.\\nDon't let your location determine the strength of your bond. If your friendship is meaningful, then it should keep growing even if you're an ocean apart.\\nMake a goal of having monthly phone or Skype dates with your friend even if you're in a completely different time zone. If keeping up with your friend becomes a routine, your relationship will continue to thrive.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let your friendship evolve.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good friend, then you have to understand that your friendship won't be the same in high school, college, or in the adult world. Sure, when you were fourteen, you might have spent all of your time with your best friend, but by the time you went off to separate colleges or started out your adult lives, you naturally spent less time talking. This doesn't mean that your friendship isn't as strong; it just means that your lives are evolving, and your friendship is taking on a different shape over the years.\\nDon't try to make your friendship be exactly the same as it was ten years ago. Think of it as elastic, not solid.\\nIf your friend is married with kids or even just in a serious relationship, and you're not, be respectful of the fact that, while your friend cares for you, they won't be on call 24/7 like they used to be.\\nAppreciate the changes your friendship has made over the years, and learn to grow along with your relationship.\\nYour friend needs to be a good friend to you in return.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You don't have to spend a lot of time and money to be a good friend. The best gifts are often handmade and come from the heart. A phone call can mean as much as a visit.\\n\", \"Do not text or call your friend every hour of the day. They will become annoyed and may not respond when you are calling about something that is actually important.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,445 |
How to Be a Good Friend (for Girls)
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1. Communicating and Handling Conflict
1-1. Reach out to your friends regularly to check on them and see what's up.
Every day or few days, text, instant message, or call your gal pal, based on your schedules. If you only have a few minutes to spare, shoot her a quality text to show her you care. If you have lots of time to kill, give her a call or hop on a video chat. The important thing is that you chat and catch up! This way, you can get to know each other better and become closer friends.
Ask her how her day’s going, what’s new, and what’s going on with her crush, for instance. Send her a funny picture or interesting article you think she will like.
If you are very busy and can't chat every day, that’s okay. Simply talk to your friend as often as you can.
Reach out to your friend whether she lives in your town, a few hours away, or across the country. Distance doesn’t matter when it comes to being a good friend!
1-2. Make plans to spend quality time together.
If your friend lives nearby, try to hang out several times a week or a few times a month. If your friend lives far away, maybe you can only see them a few times a year. Either way, by hanging out face-to-face, you get to enjoy spending time together. Hang out at home, grab a coffee, go shopping, or see a live concert, for instance.
You can also invite your friend to go with you to your friend’s birthday party or the high school football game.
If your friend lives nearby, grab dinner, have a slumber party, or head to the mall.
If your friend lives further away, make it a point to see each other at least once a year if you can. Try to get together around the holidays or on a birthday, for example.
1-3. Give advice only when your friend asks for your opinion.
Your friendship may seem unbalanced if you are the one who always tells your friend how to fix or improve her life. Rather than jumping into a solution, wait for her to ask you your thoughts instead. This keeps the dialogue balanced, so you can both support each other when needed.
For example, if your friend says, “I have a date lined up with Jeremy on Friday but I’m really nervous. What should I do?” say something like, “Just be yourself! You know he likes you.”
1-4. Understand that your friend has a life outside of your friendship.
Try not to take it personally if your friend is busy or if your friend hangs out with other people. While you may be very close, she may have other things in her life taking up her time, such as school, work, hobbies, sports, and after-school activities.
If you don't give your friend enough space to herself, she may think you are very clingy.
For example, if your friend has a big test coming up and is too busy to go to a party with you, that's okay. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you.
In addition, try not to get jealous if your friend hangs out with other people.
1-5. Avoid being negative, harsh, or critical to your friend.
If you have a generally negative attitude and constantly put your friend down, she won't want to spend time with you. Instead, keep a positive, encouraging attitude as best as you can. Act light-hearted, positive, and fun with her.
For example, say something like, “Wow I can’t wait for this week to be over,” rather than “This week sucked!”
If you are negative, harsh, or critical, your friend may take it the wrong way and feel unsupported and isolated rather than encouraged and cared for.
1-6. Forgive your friend if she makes a mistake.
Everyone makes mistakes, so try not to hold grudges or resentment if your friend does something to upset or offend you. Talk about the situation when it happens, accept your friend’s apology, and let the situation go. If you don't forgive your friend, you may feel negative toward them down the line, and this may affect your friendship in subtle ways.
For example, if your friend bailed on your plans and hurt your feelings, say something like, “I am hurt that you didn’t show up to our movie night last week.”
If you are really upset about something your friend did, it's okay if it seems hard to forgive them. Talking about the situation will make you feel better, and you can find out why your friend did what she did.
1-7. Apologize to your friend if and when you are in the wrong.
Acknowledge when you hurt your friend or acted inappropriately. When this happens, simply apologize rather than being defensive or directing the blame elsewhere. If your friend calls you out or tells you how she feels, put yourself in her shoes and say “sorry.” This keeps your conversations honest and prevents any hard feelings from forming.
For example, if your friend is upset that you canceled your plans without notice, apologize genuinely and explain that it is nothing personal.
If you can’t admit when you are wrong, your friend may not trust you or think you are genuine.
1-8. Compromise with your friend to make both of you happy.
Keep in mind that a good friendship is a two-way street, and you should both be working together to come up with solutions when needed, such as making weekend plans or resolving an argument. This way, you can both have fun together without any regrets!
For instance, when you are making plans, ask your friend what she wants to do or if there is anything she doesn't want to do. Perhaps she wants to stay home and watch movies rather than going out.
2. Supporting Your Friend
2-1. Listen to what your friend has to say when you are together.
Pay close attention when your friend talks to you, and keep your focus on her rather than letting your thoughts wander. Try to remember what’s going on in her life and bring it up in conversation to show you care. Being a good friend does not mean you only talk about yourself or want to interject when your friend is talking.
If you seem distracted or if you are constantly looking at your phone, your friend may not think you care about them.
For example, if you are hanging out with your friend after school, put your phone away and talk about your day.
2-2. Compliment your friend to boost her confidence.
Say something sweet to your friend to spread positivity and make them feel good. Give your friend genuine compliments that come from the heart. Compliment your friend whenever the moment seems right. By making her smile, your friend will enjoy being around you and go to you for support.
Say something like, “You’re such a good friend,” or “You’re so creative” to make them smile.
2-3. Perform small gestures to show your friend you care.
When you love and care about someone, show them! Do small acts of kindness, such as bringing your BFF coffee in the morning when you know she's late, giving her a “Thank you” card just because, or inviting her over to dinner. Think of gestures you can do to show your friend you are thinking about her.
You can also send her a “get well soon” text message if she is under the weather or not feeling great.
2-4. Celebrate with your friend when she succeeds.
When something great happens to your friend, show your enthusiasm with her, such as if she gets accepted to her dream college, gets a raise at work, or gets asked out by a cutie. Say supportive things like, “Wow that’s amazing!” and give her a hug. Not only will this make your friend feel good, but she’ll also know that you have her back.
Avoid showing jealousy or envy when good things happen to your friend. This is not friendly behavior, and your friend may notice.
For example, if your friend gets an “A” on her exam, go out to dinner to celebrate.
3. Being Loyal and Trustworthy
3-1. Show up on time when you make plans, rather than being late often.
When hanging out with your friend, try to show up a few minutes early or on time no matter what. If you are running late, let them know via phone call or text message. If you are frequently late or not true to your word, your friend may start to doubt how accountable and responsible you are.
For instance, if you make dinner plans for 7:00 pm, arrive between 6:45 and 7:00 pm.
3-2. Keep your promises to show you are responsible.
Reliability ensures your friend that you are there for her and she can count on you no matter what. If you do not keep your word, your friend may lose trust in your over time.
If you tell your friend that you can drive her home from school, wait for her at your car or walk together through the building.
3-3. Tell the truth to your friend all of the time.
Over time, even small white lies can impact a friendship. If you lie frequently, your friend may start to doubt whether what you tell them is true, question whether you making things up, and not trust you. Always tell her your true feelings, and don't keep secrets from each other. By always telling the truth, you and your friend can trust each other and have a long-lasting, genuine friendship.
If you tell your friend you are studying but you are actually out with her crush, she may not want to be your friend if she finds out.
3-4. Support your friend through rough patches in life.
If your friend is going through a difficult time in life, she needs a friend now more than ever. Show your support by check up on her every day, and ask her to spend time with you. You can also get her flowers, bring her chocolate, or give her a big hug to boost her mood.
For instance, if your friend and her boyfriend just broke up, buy a pint of ice cream, find some movies on Netflix, and have a slumber party.
Tips
Don’t be afraid to be yourself around your friend! Act silly and weird if you want. Your friend will accept you no matter what if they are a true friend.
Warnings
Never say bad things about your friend behind her back. This will make her not trust you, and it could ruin other friendships as well.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating and Handling Conflict\\n1-1. Reach out to your friends regularly to check on them and see what's up.\\nEvery day or few days, text, instant message, or call your gal pal, based on your schedules. If you only have a few minutes to spare, shoot her a quality text to show her you care. If you have lots of time to kill, give her a call or hop on a video chat. The important thing is that you chat and catch up! This way, you can get to know each other better and become closer friends.\\nAsk her how her day’s going, what’s new, and what’s going on with her crush, for instance. Send her a funny picture or interesting article you think she will like.\\nIf you are very busy and can't chat every day, that’s okay. Simply talk to your friend as often as you can.\\nReach out to your friend whether she lives in your town, a few hours away, or across the country. Distance doesn’t matter when it comes to being a good friend!\\n1-2. Make plans to spend quality time together.\\nIf your friend lives nearby, try to hang out several times a week or a few times a month. If your friend lives far away, maybe you can only see them a few times a year. Either way, by hanging out face-to-face, you get to enjoy spending time together. Hang out at home, grab a coffee, go shopping, or see a live concert, for instance.\\nYou can also invite your friend to go with you to your friend’s birthday party or the high school football game.\\nIf your friend lives nearby, grab dinner, have a slumber party, or head to the mall.\\nIf your friend lives further away, make it a point to see each other at least once a year if you can. Try to get together around the holidays or on a birthday, for example.\\n1-3. Give advice only when your friend asks for your opinion.\\nYour friendship may seem unbalanced if you are the one who always tells your friend how to fix or improve her life. Rather than jumping into a solution, wait for her to ask you your thoughts instead. This keeps the dialogue balanced, so you can both support each other when needed.\\nFor example, if your friend says, “I have a date lined up with Jeremy on Friday but I’m really nervous. What should I do?” say something like, “Just be yourself! You know he likes you.”\\n1-4. Understand that your friend has a life outside of your friendship.\\nTry not to take it personally if your friend is busy or if your friend hangs out with other people. While you may be very close, she may have other things in her life taking up her time, such as school, work, hobbies, sports, and after-school activities.\\nIf you don't give your friend enough space to herself, she may think you are very clingy.\\nFor example, if your friend has a big test coming up and is too busy to go to a party with you, that's okay. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you.\\nIn addition, try not to get jealous if your friend hangs out with other people.\\n1-5. Avoid being negative, harsh, or critical to your friend.\\nIf you have a generally negative attitude and constantly put your friend down, she won't want to spend time with you. Instead, keep a positive, encouraging attitude as best as you can. Act light-hearted, positive, and fun with her.\\nFor example, say something like, “Wow I can’t wait for this week to be over,” rather than “This week sucked!”\\nIf you are negative, harsh, or critical, your friend may take it the wrong way and feel unsupported and isolated rather than encouraged and cared for.\\n1-6. Forgive your friend if she makes a mistake.\\nEveryone makes mistakes, so try not to hold grudges or resentment if your friend does something to upset or offend you. Talk about the situation when it happens, accept your friend’s apology, and let the situation go. If you don't forgive your friend, you may feel negative toward them down the line, and this may affect your friendship in subtle ways.\\nFor example, if your friend bailed on your plans and hurt your feelings, say something like, “I am hurt that you didn’t show up to our movie night last week.”\\nIf you are really upset about something your friend did, it's okay if it seems hard to forgive them. Talking about the situation will make you feel better, and you can find out why your friend did what she did.\\n1-7. Apologize to your friend if and when you are in the wrong.\\nAcknowledge when you hurt your friend or acted inappropriately. When this happens, simply apologize rather than being defensive or directing the blame elsewhere. If your friend calls you out or tells you how she feels, put yourself in her shoes and say “sorry.” This keeps your conversations honest and prevents any hard feelings from forming.\\nFor example, if your friend is upset that you canceled your plans without notice, apologize genuinely and explain that it is nothing personal.\\nIf you can’t admit when you are wrong, your friend may not trust you or think you are genuine.\\n1-8. Compromise with your friend to make both of you happy.\\nKeep in mind that a good friendship is a two-way street, and you should both be working together to come up with solutions when needed, such as making weekend plans or resolving an argument. This way, you can both have fun together without any regrets!\\nFor instance, when you are making plans, ask your friend what she wants to do or if there is anything she doesn't want to do. Perhaps she wants to stay home and watch movies rather than going out.\\n2. Supporting Your Friend\\n2-1. Listen to what your friend has to say when you are together.\\nPay close attention when your friend talks to you, and keep your focus on her rather than letting your thoughts wander. Try to remember what’s going on in her life and bring it up in conversation to show you care. Being a good friend does not mean you only talk about yourself or want to interject when your friend is talking.\\nIf you seem distracted or if you are constantly looking at your phone, your friend may not think you care about them.\\nFor example, if you are hanging out with your friend after school, put your phone away and talk about your day.\\n2-2. Compliment your friend to boost her confidence.\\nSay something sweet to your friend to spread positivity and make them feel good. Give your friend genuine compliments that come from the heart. Compliment your friend whenever the moment seems right. By making her smile, your friend will enjoy being around you and go to you for support.\\nSay something like, “You’re such a good friend,” or “You’re so creative” to make them smile.\\n2-3. Perform small gestures to show your friend you care.\\nWhen you love and care about someone, show them! Do small acts of kindness, such as bringing your BFF coffee in the morning when you know she's late, giving her a “Thank you” card just because, or inviting her over to dinner. Think of gestures you can do to show your friend you are thinking about her.\\nYou can also send her a “get well soon” text message if she is under the weather or not feeling great.\\n2-4. Celebrate with your friend when she succeeds.\\nWhen something great happens to your friend, show your enthusiasm with her, such as if she gets accepted to her dream college, gets a raise at work, or gets asked out by a cutie. Say supportive things like, “Wow that’s amazing!” and give her a hug. Not only will this make your friend feel good, but she’ll also know that you have her back.\\nAvoid showing jealousy or envy when good things happen to your friend. This is not friendly behavior, and your friend may notice.\\nFor example, if your friend gets an “A” on her exam, go out to dinner to celebrate.\\n3. Being Loyal and Trustworthy\\n3-1. Show up on time when you make plans, rather than being late often.\\nWhen hanging out with your friend, try to show up a few minutes early or on time no matter what. If you are running late, let them know via phone call or text message. If you are frequently late or not true to your word, your friend may start to doubt how accountable and responsible you are.\\nFor instance, if you make dinner plans for 7:00 pm, arrive between 6:45 and 7:00 pm.\\n3-2. Keep your promises to show you are responsible.\\nReliability ensures your friend that you are there for her and she can count on you no matter what. If you do not keep your word, your friend may lose trust in your over time.\\nIf you tell your friend that you can drive her home from school, wait for her at your car or walk together through the building.\\n3-3. Tell the truth to your friend all of the time.\\nOver time, even small white lies can impact a friendship. If you lie frequently, your friend may start to doubt whether what you tell them is true, question whether you making things up, and not trust you. Always tell her your true feelings, and don't keep secrets from each other. By always telling the truth, you and your friend can trust each other and have a long-lasting, genuine friendship.\\nIf you tell your friend you are studying but you are actually out with her crush, she may not want to be your friend if she finds out.\\n3-4. Support your friend through rough patches in life.\\nIf your friend is going through a difficult time in life, she needs a friend now more than ever. Show your support by check up on her every day, and ask her to spend time with you. You can also get her flowers, bring her chocolate, or give her a big hug to boost her mood.\\nFor instance, if your friend and her boyfriend just broke up, buy a pint of ice cream, find some movies on Netflix, and have a slumber party.\\nTips\\nDon’t be afraid to be yourself around your friend! Act silly and weird if you want. Your friend will accept you no matter what if they are a true friend.\\nWarnings\\nNever say bad things about your friend behind her back. This will make her not trust you, and it could ruin other friendships as well.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good friend may take some work and patience, but having a great gal pal is worth the effort. Good friends lift you up when you’re sad, make things more fun and exciting, and boost your confidence. Be sure to talk to your friend regularly, hang out when you can, show your support, and act trustworthy. With some effort and care, you can strengthen your current friendships or befriend someone new!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating and Handling Conflict\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reach out to your friends regularly to check on them and see what's up.\", \"描述\": \"Every day or few days, text, instant message, or call your gal pal, based on your schedules. If you only have a few minutes to spare, shoot her a quality text to show her you care. If you have lots of time to kill, give her a call or hop on a video chat. The important thing is that you chat and catch up! This way, you can get to know each other better and become closer friends.\\nAsk her how her day’s going, what’s new, and what’s going on with her crush, for instance. Send her a funny picture or interesting article you think she will like.\\nIf you are very busy and can't chat every day, that’s okay. Simply talk to your friend as often as you can.\\nReach out to your friend whether she lives in your town, a few hours away, or across the country. Distance doesn’t matter when it comes to being a good friend!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make plans to spend quality time together.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend lives nearby, try to hang out several times a week or a few times a month. If your friend lives far away, maybe you can only see them a few times a year. Either way, by hanging out face-to-face, you get to enjoy spending time together. Hang out at home, grab a coffee, go shopping, or see a live concert, for instance.\\nYou can also invite your friend to go with you to your friend’s birthday party or the high school football game.\\nIf your friend lives nearby, grab dinner, have a slumber party, or head to the mall.\\nIf your friend lives further away, make it a point to see each other at least once a year if you can. Try to get together around the holidays or on a birthday, for example.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give advice only when your friend asks for your opinion.\", \"描述\": \"Your friendship may seem unbalanced if you are the one who always tells your friend how to fix or improve her life. Rather than jumping into a solution, wait for her to ask you your thoughts instead. This keeps the dialogue balanced, so you can both support each other when needed.\\nFor example, if your friend says, “I have a date lined up with Jeremy on Friday but I’m really nervous. What should I do?” say something like, “Just be yourself! You know he likes you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understand that your friend has a life outside of your friendship.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to take it personally if your friend is busy or if your friend hangs out with other people. While you may be very close, she may have other things in her life taking up her time, such as school, work, hobbies, sports, and after-school activities.\\nIf you don't give your friend enough space to herself, she may think you are very clingy.\\nFor example, if your friend has a big test coming up and is too busy to go to a party with you, that's okay. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you.\\nIn addition, try not to get jealous if your friend hangs out with other people.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid being negative, harsh, or critical to your friend.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a generally negative attitude and constantly put your friend down, she won't want to spend time with you. Instead, keep a positive, encouraging attitude as best as you can. Act light-hearted, positive, and fun with her.\\nFor example, say something like, “Wow I can’t wait for this week to be over,” rather than “This week sucked!”\\nIf you are negative, harsh, or critical, your friend may take it the wrong way and feel unsupported and isolated rather than encouraged and cared for.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Forgive your friend if she makes a mistake.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone makes mistakes, so try not to hold grudges or resentment if your friend does something to upset or offend you. Talk about the situation when it happens, accept your friend’s apology, and let the situation go. If you don't forgive your friend, you may feel negative toward them down the line, and this may affect your friendship in subtle ways.\\nFor example, if your friend bailed on your plans and hurt your feelings, say something like, “I am hurt that you didn’t show up to our movie night last week.”\\nIf you are really upset about something your friend did, it's okay if it seems hard to forgive them. Talking about the situation will make you feel better, and you can find out why your friend did what she did.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Apologize to your friend if and when you are in the wrong.\", \"描述\": \"Acknowledge when you hurt your friend or acted inappropriately. When this happens, simply apologize rather than being defensive or directing the blame elsewhere. If your friend calls you out or tells you how she feels, put yourself in her shoes and say “sorry.” This keeps your conversations honest and prevents any hard feelings from forming.\\nFor example, if your friend is upset that you canceled your plans without notice, apologize genuinely and explain that it is nothing personal.\\nIf you can’t admit when you are wrong, your friend may not trust you or think you are genuine.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Compromise with your friend to make both of you happy.\", \"描述\": \"Keep in mind that a good friendship is a two-way street, and you should both be working together to come up with solutions when needed, such as making weekend plans or resolving an argument. This way, you can both have fun together without any regrets!\\nFor instance, when you are making plans, ask your friend what she wants to do or if there is anything she doesn't want to do. Perhaps she wants to stay home and watch movies rather than going out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Supporting Your Friend\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to what your friend has to say when you are together.\", \"描述\": \"Pay close attention when your friend talks to you, and keep your focus on her rather than letting your thoughts wander. Try to remember what’s going on in her life and bring it up in conversation to show you care. Being a good friend does not mean you only talk about yourself or want to interject when your friend is talking.\\nIf you seem distracted or if you are constantly looking at your phone, your friend may not think you care about them.\\nFor example, if you are hanging out with your friend after school, put your phone away and talk about your day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment your friend to boost her confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Say something sweet to your friend to spread positivity and make them feel good. Give your friend genuine compliments that come from the heart. Compliment your friend whenever the moment seems right. By making her smile, your friend will enjoy being around you and go to you for support.\\nSay something like, “You’re such a good friend,” or “You’re so creative” to make them smile.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Perform small gestures to show your friend you care.\", \"描述\": \"When you love and care about someone, show them! Do small acts of kindness, such as bringing your BFF coffee in the morning when you know she's late, giving her a “Thank you” card just because, or inviting her over to dinner. Think of gestures you can do to show your friend you are thinking about her.\\nYou can also send her a “get well soon” text message if she is under the weather or not feeling great.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Celebrate with your friend when she succeeds.\", \"描述\": \"When something great happens to your friend, show your enthusiasm with her, such as if she gets accepted to her dream college, gets a raise at work, or gets asked out by a cutie. Say supportive things like, “Wow that’s amazing!” and give her a hug. Not only will this make your friend feel good, but she’ll also know that you have her back.\\nAvoid showing jealousy or envy when good things happen to your friend. This is not friendly behavior, and your friend may notice.\\nFor example, if your friend gets an “A” on her exam, go out to dinner to celebrate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Loyal and Trustworthy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show up on time when you make plans, rather than being late often.\", \"描述\": \"When hanging out with your friend, try to show up a few minutes early or on time no matter what. If you are running late, let them know via phone call or text message. If you are frequently late or not true to your word, your friend may start to doubt how accountable and responsible you are.\\nFor instance, if you make dinner plans for 7:00 pm, arrive between 6:45 and 7:00 pm.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your promises to show you are responsible.\", \"描述\": \"Reliability ensures your friend that you are there for her and she can count on you no matter what. If you do not keep your word, your friend may lose trust in your over time.\\nIf you tell your friend that you can drive her home from school, wait for her at your car or walk together through the building.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell the truth to your friend all of the time.\", \"描述\": \"Over time, even small white lies can impact a friendship. If you lie frequently, your friend may start to doubt whether what you tell them is true, question whether you making things up, and not trust you. Always tell her your true feelings, and don't keep secrets from each other. By always telling the truth, you and your friend can trust each other and have a long-lasting, genuine friendship.\\nIf you tell your friend you are studying but you are actually out with her crush, she may not want to be your friend if she finds out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Support your friend through rough patches in life.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend is going through a difficult time in life, she needs a friend now more than ever. Show your support by check up on her every day, and ask her to spend time with you. You can also get her flowers, bring her chocolate, or give her a big hug to boost her mood.\\nFor instance, if your friend and her boyfriend just broke up, buy a pint of ice cream, find some movies on Netflix, and have a slumber party.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t be afraid to be yourself around your friend! Act silly and weird if you want. Your friend will accept you no matter what if they are a true friend.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never say bad things about your friend behind her back. This will make her not trust you, and it could ruin other friendships as well.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,446 |
How to Be a Good Friend to Both Parties in a Divorce
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1. Offering Your Support
1-1. Listen
Supporting a friend through divorce is a major hurdle, but you can offer valuable help just by listening. Hear them out when they need to go over what happened for the thousandth time. There will come a time when they won't need to discuss it so much, but for now just be there with open ears.
Keep in mind that listening doesn't mean agreeing. You can hear your friends out without endorsing their opinions or badmouthing the other friend.
Establish boundaries. It's important to listen to both parties, but it's also important to make sure you're not crossing a line. You may want to limit the amount of time you want to talk about the divorce, or you could ask them not to talk negatively about one another to you.
1-2. Show that you understand their position.
Each of your friends will need validation in their own way. Show empathy based on their individual personalities and preferences. This might mean offering a shoulder to cry on or saying comforting things like “I can see you're hurting.”
Offer validation and support as needed, but do not join in on shaming or alienating statements made about the other spouse.
1-3. Encourage them to make healthy decisions.
Going through a divorce is a taxing ordeal for the mind, body, and spirit. Help your friends get through this difficult time by encouraging them to eat right, get plenty of exercise, sleep, and perform self-care.
Offer to make a nutritious dinner with them once a week. Or accompany them to the gym for a workout class.
Discourage your friends from using alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy habits to cope with the divorce.
1-4. Make them laugh.
Laughter truly is a form of medicine. When your friend needs uplifting, be there to cheer them up with light-hearted jokes or other forms of humor. If you're not much of a comedian, using a bit of wit can work just as well.
You can also send them online jokes, memes, or YouTube videos that spark laughter.
1-5. Help out.
One important way to support your divorcing pals is by caring for their children or doing tasks around the home. As they adjust to being single, they may both need a sitter or other assistance. Offer your services whenever you're free.
You might say, “Why don't I babysit so you can have some alone time and go to that yoga class you like?”
2. Clarifying Your Position
2-1. Make it clear that you're not taking sides.
Use the first several days and weeks of the divorce process to make your position clear. No matter how civil they are with one another, at some point your friends may expect you to judge the other spouse. Stay neutral, no matter what.
You might say something like, “Charlotte, I want to keep being friends with both you and Greg. I'm sorry, but I won't be taking sides.”
You may also opt to take a break or spend less time with both parties until they figure out the details of their separation. Even then, it's possible that no matter how well-intentioned you are, one party could perceive you not taking any sides at taking the other's side.
2-2. Create a workable game plan.
Sit down with both spouses and agree on some rules so that both friendships can thrive. This may seem weird, like another aspect of the divorce settlement, but it's necessary. Clearly outlining appropriate behaviors can prevent you from being caught in the middle of a tug-of-war.
The rules you set will depend on your unique circumstances. Some suggestions, however, are including sections about not speaking poorly about one another, not expecting friends to spy, and not pulling rank (i.e. saying “They were my friends first!”).
If it's illogical to expect both spouses to be present, create an online document that you can email to both.
2-3. Redefine the friendships.
If all of you were mutual friends, the way your friendship works will likely have changed. That's okay—just change with it. Think about what you cherish and value about both friends. What kinds of things do you do together?
Have separate meetings with each friend and talk about how your friendship will be moving forward.
Try keeping your friendships event-focused for a while. Center your hangouts around activities or events. That way they will be more focused on what you're doing in the moment instead of on their divorce.
For example, you might see one of the spouses regularly at the country club and play tennis together. You might be involved in the same community organization with the other. Use these “typical” routines as a guideline for how you might continue the friendship in the future.
2-4. Decide how to handle social events.
You and the spouses will also have to agree on a protocol for social events. If you host an event, will both be able to attend and act cordially? Think about how you want to manage their attendance at various social functions.
If both spouses are able to act civilly, you might invite them both and seat them far apart.
If both spouses cannot act civilly, you might suggest that the person most connected to the event attends. For example, the spouse who helped you with a fundraiser might be invited to the charity ball.
Remember that you are not their referee. Even if you want both parties to attend, the decision is up to them. Let them know that the other person will be there, and let them decide if they can handle that on their own.
3. Being Realistic
3-1. Expect backlash from one side or the other.
No matter how fairly you try to handle this matter, there's a strong chance that one spouse will feel upset and betrayed by your continued loyalty towards the other. Don't feel guilty about the push-back.
Simply restate your commitment to maintaining both friendships and work hard to preserve the relationships. Even then, know that one side may no longer want to be friends because of your relationship with their ex. Respect their decision if that's the case.
3-2. Get support for yourself.
Being pulled between two divorcing friends can be stressful. Be sure to reach out to unbiased friends and family members to talk or hang out. Spending time with others might serve as a release from the tension of the divorce.
What's more, you have probably devoted a lot of time and energy to be there for your friends. You also need someone to be there for you.
3-3. Give it some time.
Be patient with your friends and try not to expect too much from them early on. In general, divorces can be messy. As some time passes, the friction may lessen. You might even begin to feel like your time spent with each of them is “just like old times.”
3-4. Recognize when it becomes too much.
Having two good friends suddenly despise each other can be hectic. You might notice yourself feeling more tense, stressed, or irritated. If even after a great deal of time has passed you continue to feel pulled between the two, you might decide to take a step back.
Of course, you don't want to abandon your friendships. But, you also need to recognize when the tension is just too much for you. It may be time for you to get some distance until things cool off.
You might get distance by asking another friend to fill in for you at an event or for your babysitting duties. You might also enforce your boundaries about the rules.
You might tell them, "If you two won't stop pulling me into the middle of things, I'll have to get some distance. I want to be here for you, but all of this is stressing me out, too."
3-5. See a therapist.
If the stress starts to affect your functioning at work or school or you find yourself having trouble sleeping, it may help to talk to someone. A professional therapist can help you set better boundaries with your divorcing friends. This person can also help you develop a self-care routine to better manage stress.
In the initial session, you might explain, "Two of my good friends are divorcing and I feel caught in the middle. How can I be a good friend to both of them without losing my mind?"
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Offering Your Support\\n1-1. Listen\\nSupporting a friend through divorce is a major hurdle, but you can offer valuable help just by listening. Hear them out when they need to go over what happened for the thousandth time. There will come a time when they won't need to discuss it so much, but for now just be there with open ears.\\nKeep in mind that listening doesn't mean agreeing. You can hear your friends out without endorsing their opinions or badmouthing the other friend.\\nEstablish boundaries. It's important to listen to both parties, but it's also important to make sure you're not crossing a line. You may want to limit the amount of time you want to talk about the divorce, or you could ask them not to talk negatively about one another to you.\\n1-2. Show that you understand their position.\\nEach of your friends will need validation in their own way. Show empathy based on their individual personalities and preferences. This might mean offering a shoulder to cry on or saying comforting things like “I can see you're hurting.”\\nOffer validation and support as needed, but do not join in on shaming or alienating statements made about the other spouse.\\n1-3. Encourage them to make healthy decisions.\\nGoing through a divorce is a taxing ordeal for the mind, body, and spirit. Help your friends get through this difficult time by encouraging them to eat right, get plenty of exercise, sleep, and perform self-care.\\nOffer to make a nutritious dinner with them once a week. Or accompany them to the gym for a workout class.\\nDiscourage your friends from using alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy habits to cope with the divorce.\\n1-4. Make them laugh.\\nLaughter truly is a form of medicine. When your friend needs uplifting, be there to cheer them up with light-hearted jokes or other forms of humor. If you're not much of a comedian, using a bit of wit can work just as well.\\nYou can also send them online jokes, memes, or YouTube videos that spark laughter.\\n1-5. Help out.\\nOne important way to support your divorcing pals is by caring for their children or doing tasks around the home. As they adjust to being single, they may both need a sitter or other assistance. Offer your services whenever you're free.\\nYou might say, “Why don't I babysit so you can have some alone time and go to that yoga class you like?”\\n2. Clarifying Your Position\\n2-1. Make it clear that you're not taking sides.\\nUse the first several days and weeks of the divorce process to make your position clear. No matter how civil they are with one another, at some point your friends may expect you to judge the other spouse. Stay neutral, no matter what.\\nYou might say something like, “Charlotte, I want to keep being friends with both you and Greg. I'm sorry, but I won't be taking sides.”\\nYou may also opt to take a break or spend less time with both parties until they figure out the details of their separation. Even then, it's possible that no matter how well-intentioned you are, one party could perceive you not taking any sides at taking the other's side.\\n2-2. Create a workable game plan.\\nSit down with both spouses and agree on some rules so that both friendships can thrive. This may seem weird, like another aspect of the divorce settlement, but it's necessary. Clearly outlining appropriate behaviors can prevent you from being caught in the middle of a tug-of-war.\\nThe rules you set will depend on your unique circumstances. Some suggestions, however, are including sections about not speaking poorly about one another, not expecting friends to spy, and not pulling rank (i.e. saying “They were my friends first!”).\\nIf it's illogical to expect both spouses to be present, create an online document that you can email to both.\\n2-3. Redefine the friendships.\\nIf all of you were mutual friends, the way your friendship works will likely have changed. That's okay—just change with it. Think about what you cherish and value about both friends. What kinds of things do you do together?\\nHave separate meetings with each friend and talk about how your friendship will be moving forward.\\nTry keeping your friendships event-focused for a while. Center your hangouts around activities or events. That way they will be more focused on what you're doing in the moment instead of on their divorce.\\nFor example, you might see one of the spouses regularly at the country club and play tennis together. You might be involved in the same community organization with the other. Use these “typical” routines as a guideline for how you might continue the friendship in the future.\\n2-4. Decide how to handle social events.\\nYou and the spouses will also have to agree on a protocol for social events. If you host an event, will both be able to attend and act cordially? Think about how you want to manage their attendance at various social functions.\\nIf both spouses are able to act civilly, you might invite them both and seat them far apart.\\nIf both spouses cannot act civilly, you might suggest that the person most connected to the event attends. For example, the spouse who helped you with a fundraiser might be invited to the charity ball.\\nRemember that you are not their referee. Even if you want both parties to attend, the decision is up to them. Let them know that the other person will be there, and let them decide if they can handle that on their own.\\n3. Being Realistic\\n3-1. Expect backlash from one side or the other.\\nNo matter how fairly you try to handle this matter, there's a strong chance that one spouse will feel upset and betrayed by your continued loyalty towards the other. Don't feel guilty about the push-back. \\nSimply restate your commitment to maintaining both friendships and work hard to preserve the relationships. Even then, know that one side may no longer want to be friends because of your relationship with their ex. Respect their decision if that's the case.\\n3-2. Get support for yourself.\\nBeing pulled between two divorcing friends can be stressful. Be sure to reach out to unbiased friends and family members to talk or hang out. Spending time with others might serve as a release from the tension of the divorce.\\nWhat's more, you have probably devoted a lot of time and energy to be there for your friends. You also need someone to be there for you.\\n3-3. Give it some time.\\nBe patient with your friends and try not to expect too much from them early on. In general, divorces can be messy. As some time passes, the friction may lessen. You might even begin to feel like your time spent with each of them is “just like old times.”\\n3-4. Recognize when it becomes too much.\\nHaving two good friends suddenly despise each other can be hectic. You might notice yourself feeling more tense, stressed, or irritated. If even after a great deal of time has passed you continue to feel pulled between the two, you might decide to take a step back.\\nOf course, you don't want to abandon your friendships. But, you also need to recognize when the tension is just too much for you. It may be time for you to get some distance until things cool off.\\nYou might get distance by asking another friend to fill in for you at an event or for your babysitting duties. You might also enforce your boundaries about the rules.\\nYou might tell them, \\\"If you two won't stop pulling me into the middle of things, I'll have to get some distance. I want to be here for you, but all of this is stressing me out, too.\\\"\\n3-5. See a therapist.\\nIf the stress starts to affect your functioning at work or school or you find yourself having trouble sleeping, it may help to talk to someone. A professional therapist can help you set better boundaries with your divorcing friends. This person can also help you develop a self-care routine to better manage stress.\\nIn the initial session, you might explain, \\\"Two of my good friends are divorcing and I feel caught in the middle. How can I be a good friend to both of them without losing my mind?\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If two of your friends are getting a divorce, you may find yourself in an awkward position. All of you probably won't be hanging out together anymore and you might feel caught in the middle of a tug-of-war. Still, that doesn't mean you can't try your best to stay loyal and true to your friends after a split. Keep being a good friend to both parties in a divorce by being supportive, making your position clear, and setting realistic expectations.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offering Your Support\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen\", \"描述\": \"Supporting a friend through divorce is a major hurdle, but you can offer valuable help just by listening. Hear them out when they need to go over what happened for the thousandth time. There will come a time when they won't need to discuss it so much, but for now just be there with open ears.\\nKeep in mind that listening doesn't mean agreeing. You can hear your friends out without endorsing their opinions or badmouthing the other friend.\\nEstablish boundaries. It's important to listen to both parties, but it's also important to make sure you're not crossing a line. You may want to limit the amount of time you want to talk about the divorce, or you could ask them not to talk negatively about one another to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show that you understand their position.\", \"描述\": \"Each of your friends will need validation in their own way. Show empathy based on their individual personalities and preferences. This might mean offering a shoulder to cry on or saying comforting things like “I can see you're hurting.”\\nOffer validation and support as needed, but do not join in on shaming or alienating statements made about the other spouse.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Encourage them to make healthy decisions.\", \"描述\": \"Going through a divorce is a taxing ordeal for the mind, body, and spirit. Help your friends get through this difficult time by encouraging them to eat right, get plenty of exercise, sleep, and perform self-care.\\nOffer to make a nutritious dinner with them once a week. Or accompany them to the gym for a workout class.\\nDiscourage your friends from using alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy habits to cope with the divorce.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make them laugh.\", \"描述\": \"Laughter truly is a form of medicine. When your friend needs uplifting, be there to cheer them up with light-hearted jokes or other forms of humor. If you're not much of a comedian, using a bit of wit can work just as well.\\nYou can also send them online jokes, memes, or YouTube videos that spark laughter.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Help out.\", \"描述\": \"One important way to support your divorcing pals is by caring for their children or doing tasks around the home. As they adjust to being single, they may both need a sitter or other assistance. Offer your services whenever you're free.\\nYou might say, “Why don't I babysit so you can have some alone time and go to that yoga class you like?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Clarifying Your Position\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make it clear that you're not taking sides.\", \"描述\": \"Use the first several days and weeks of the divorce process to make your position clear. No matter how civil they are with one another, at some point your friends may expect you to judge the other spouse. Stay neutral, no matter what.\\nYou might say something like, “Charlotte, I want to keep being friends with both you and Greg. I'm sorry, but I won't be taking sides.”\\nYou may also opt to take a break or spend less time with both parties until they figure out the details of their separation. Even then, it's possible that no matter how well-intentioned you are, one party could perceive you not taking any sides at taking the other's side.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a workable game plan.\", \"描述\": \"Sit down with both spouses and agree on some rules so that both friendships can thrive. This may seem weird, like another aspect of the divorce settlement, but it's necessary. Clearly outlining appropriate behaviors can prevent you from being caught in the middle of a tug-of-war.\\nThe rules you set will depend on your unique circumstances. Some suggestions, however, are including sections about not speaking poorly about one another, not expecting friends to spy, and not pulling rank (i.e. saying “They were my friends first!”).\\nIf it's illogical to expect both spouses to be present, create an online document that you can email to both.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Redefine the friendships.\", \"描述\": \"If all of you were mutual friends, the way your friendship works will likely have changed. That's okay—just change with it. Think about what you cherish and value about both friends. What kinds of things do you do together?\\nHave separate meetings with each friend and talk about how your friendship will be moving forward.\\nTry keeping your friendships event-focused for a while. Center your hangouts around activities or events. That way they will be more focused on what you're doing in the moment instead of on their divorce.\\nFor example, you might see one of the spouses regularly at the country club and play tennis together. You might be involved in the same community organization with the other. Use these “typical” routines as a guideline for how you might continue the friendship in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Decide how to handle social events.\", \"描述\": \"You and the spouses will also have to agree on a protocol for social events. If you host an event, will both be able to attend and act cordially? Think about how you want to manage their attendance at various social functions.\\nIf both spouses are able to act civilly, you might invite them both and seat them far apart.\\nIf both spouses cannot act civilly, you might suggest that the person most connected to the event attends. For example, the spouse who helped you with a fundraiser might be invited to the charity ball.\\nRemember that you are not their referee. Even if you want both parties to attend, the decision is up to them. Let them know that the other person will be there, and let them decide if they can handle that on their own.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Realistic\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Expect backlash from one side or the other.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how fairly you try to handle this matter, there's a strong chance that one spouse will feel upset and betrayed by your continued loyalty towards the other. Don't feel guilty about the push-back. \\nSimply restate your commitment to maintaining both friendships and work hard to preserve the relationships. Even then, know that one side may no longer want to be friends because of your relationship with their ex. Respect their decision if that's the case.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get support for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Being pulled between two divorcing friends can be stressful. Be sure to reach out to unbiased friends and family members to talk or hang out. Spending time with others might serve as a release from the tension of the divorce.\\nWhat's more, you have probably devoted a lot of time and energy to be there for your friends. You also need someone to be there for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give it some time.\", \"描述\": \"Be patient with your friends and try not to expect too much from them early on. In general, divorces can be messy. As some time passes, the friction may lessen. You might even begin to feel like your time spent with each of them is “just like old times.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Recognize when it becomes too much.\", \"描述\": \"Having two good friends suddenly despise each other can be hectic. You might notice yourself feeling more tense, stressed, or irritated. If even after a great deal of time has passed you continue to feel pulled between the two, you might decide to take a step back.\\nOf course, you don't want to abandon your friendships. But, you also need to recognize when the tension is just too much for you. It may be time for you to get some distance until things cool off.\\nYou might get distance by asking another friend to fill in for you at an event or for your babysitting duties. You might also enforce your boundaries about the rules.\\nYou might tell them, \\\"If you two won't stop pulling me into the middle of things, I'll have to get some distance. I want to be here for you, but all of this is stressing me out, too.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"See a therapist.\", \"描述\": \"If the stress starts to affect your functioning at work or school or you find yourself having trouble sleeping, it may help to talk to someone. A professional therapist can help you set better boundaries with your divorcing friends. This person can also help you develop a self-care routine to better manage stress.\\nIn the initial session, you might explain, \\\"Two of my good friends are divorcing and I feel caught in the middle. How can I be a good friend to both of them without losing my mind?\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,447 |
How to Be a Good Friend to Someone Who Has Asperger's Syndrome
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1. Communicating with Your Friend
1-1. Be patient.
Patience is important in any relationship, but it may be most important if you are a neurotypical person who wants to be a good friend to an autistic person. Your friend may do some things that confuse or frustrate you, but you have to be willing to make the effort to understand where they're coming from.
Keep in mind that all autistic people are different, just as all neurotypical people are different. If you've met one autistic person, all this means is that you've met one autistic person.
This means that just because you may have an autistic person in your family, that doesn't mean you can interact with your friend in the same way, or expect them to act similarly or have the same difficulties.
Many autistic people say things that are very direct, and your friend may say something that hurts you. Try not to take this personally. They probably had no idea that what they said was hurtful.
Let your friend know that what they said upset you, and help them understand better how to communicate in a more tactful and productive way.
For example, your friend might say "That shirt makes you look ugly." You can explain that it hurts to be told that, and ask them what they dislike about your shirt. In the future, they can avoid a similar situation by saying something such as "I don't think that's your best color," or "I thought the shirt you wore yesterday was more flattering."
1-2. Use simple, concrete language.
Autistic people tend to understand what you're saying better when you speak in short, active sentences and use specifics. While you should make an effort to do this so you will be better understood, this doesn't necessarily mean you should significantly alter your normal pattern of speech.
For example, instead of saying "Hey, do you want to hang out tomorrow?" you might say "I want to spend time with you tomorrow. Would you rather watch a movie or go to the coffee shop?"
If you talk to your autistic friend differently from the way you talk to other people, they'll notice and might find it insulting.
At the same time, they will appreciate it if you make an effort to communicate effectively with them.
If you find that you're frequently having to explain yourself or clarify your statements, try to find out why and make an effort to speak more clearly.
Don't condescend to them by speaking slowly, "dumbing down" your vocabulary, talking about them as if they weren't there, or assuming they won't understand anything. This is really insulting, and it will annoy your friend.
1-3. Avoid sarcasm and figurative speech.
Autistic people may not pick up on facial expressions, social cues, or figurative language such as sarcasm. If you notice that your friend seems confused, ask why, and offer to clarify.
For many people, friendly teasing is one of the ways they show friendly affection. However, many autistic people may take what you say literally and think you are insulting them or that you no longer want to be their friend.
If your friend is a teenager or adult, they likely have learned how to understand some figurative speech. However, it still may take them a minute to realize you didn't mean something literally or that you were saying it in jest.
For example, if you say "Oh that's just great" in a sarcastic tone when your friend is telling you about something bad that happened to them, they might take it to mean that you think it was good that something bad happened to them.
Rather, speak literally. If your friend is telling you about something bad that happened to them, just say "That's terrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Would you like me to help?"
If your friend takes something literally that you meant as a joke and is hurt by it, apologize immediately. Don't try to excuse your behavior or blame them for misunderstanding you.
1-4. Understand the friendship may be one-sided.
Autistic people often inadvertently alienate friends because they have difficulty understanding when they need to reach out, or how they should keep in contact with you.
Part of being a good friend is understanding that you may have to put forth the bulk of the effort to keep in contact and to do things together.
If your friend doesn't get back to you right away, or if weeks go by without you hearing from them, try not to take it personally.
Keep in mind that many autistic people will assume that you will contact them if you want to talk to them or hang out with them. If they don't hear from you, they believe you're busy or don't want to do anything with them.
For this reason, try to initiate contact on a regular basis. Don't worry if you're the only one in the relationship that ever texts or calls first, or you're the only one who ever makes plans.
1-5. Express interest and curiosity.
Autistic people typically have an intense interest in a particular thing – sometimes even several things simultaneously. These are referred to as "special interests," and are very important to each person.
Aspies typically have few friends, so if you've already started a friendship it's likely that friendship revolves around some mutually shared interest.
Autistic people often research their special interests extensively and have a vast amount of knowledge on the subject. By asking questions, you can learn a lot from your autistic friend.
Autistic people also enjoy talking about their special interests, so you often can use a special interest to kickstart an engaging and stimulating conversation.
However, keep in mind that your friend is likely to get so involved in talking about their special interest that they keep monologuing about it long after you've lost interest.
Ask questions or steer them to another topic when you feel like you've had enough – autistic people often have trouble reading body language and may not pick up on the fact that you're bored.
For example, you might say "I know we were talking about world records, but that reminded me of the World Series. Do you enjoy baseball? Who do you think will win the game tonight?"
2. Understanding Sensory Sensitivities
2-1. Ask your friend about sensory sensitivities.
Most autistic people have issues with how they perceive things through touch, sight, hearing, smell, or taste. These sensitivities vary widely among individuals, so the best thing to do is ask your friend about theirs.
If your friend doesn't enjoy a particular place or activity, this may be because of their sensory sensitivities.
For example, someone who is overly sensitive to sounds may not enjoy a loud, busy coffee shop. While you're able to tune out the background noise, they can't filter the sounds in the same way and end up getting overstimulated.
Many autistic people who have visual sensitivities have problems with fluorescent lights. This may mean that your autistic friend wouldn't enjoy shopping with you at some department stores or malls.
2-2. Accept differences even if you don't understand them.
Being a good friend means accepting what your autistic friend says about their sensory sensitivities at face value. Even if they have particular sensitivities that make no sense to you, expressing doubt can upset your friend.
Think about how you perceive the world through your senses. You likely assumed everyone perceived the world the same as you did until you had a reason to learn otherwise. Autistic people are the same.
For example, if you wear glasses or contacts, you likely can remember a time before you were prescribed these aids. You probably thought you could see just fine until a test revealed your vision was impaired. Once you got your glasses, you realized how you were supposed to see the world.
Sensory issues are much like this. Your friend may not realize that there's anything "different" about the fact that certain perfumes give them a headache, or they get tense and frustrated when in a room with fluorescent lighting.
Sensory issues can be particularly difficult to explain, which means your friend may not be able to explain a problem in a way you can understand, or provide a reason for why a place or activity bothers them.
2-3. Make accommodations.
Sometimes, you may need to make accommodations for your friend's special needs. For example, you may need to eat in a quieter corner of the cafeteria, rather than right in the middle where it's louder and busier. Your friend will be able to tell you what they need to make the environment work for them.
It is not rude to ask, for example, "Is there anything I should know about your needs before we go to the concert?" In fact, your friend will appreciate you thinking ahead and wanting to be helpful.
Give your friend as much information as you can about the place you're going so they can evaluate the situation and prepare themselves.
If you invite your friend over to your home often, you want to make sure it's a place they find safe and comfortable. To be a good friend, display a willingness to change things they find overstimulating or uncomfortable.
For example, if there are televisions in several rooms, you may want to close doors so there are not multiple sounds competing for attention.
2-4. Learn to recognize the signs of overstimulation.
When an autistic person goes into overload, they may panic, melt down, curl into a ball, run away, or lose the ability to speak. You can help the autistic person by escorting them to a quiet place, not putting demands on them, and giving them time to recover.
Particularly if your friend is a teenager or adult, they've likely learned to identify things they do when they're approaching their limit. Ask them about these signs so you can be on the lookout for them.
Keep in mind that sensory overstimulation often is quite painful for your friend. They need to get out of the situation as soon as possible so they can recharge.
If you're going to a public place where overstimulation is possible, be on the lookout for a quiet place where the two of you can retreat.
Help your friend by leaving with them and making excuses to anyone with whom they were talking so no one takes offense if they have to leave abruptly.
2-5. Try to treat your friend like any other.
Many autistic people have been misunderstood or bullied, and sometimes treating them like a regular friend is what they really want. Sure, it takes a little while to get used to someone’s idiosyncrasies, but people do that for each other all the time. If an autistic teenager or adult is participating in social activities, they’re trying to interact with others without calling attention to their autism. Be sensitive to this possibility.
3. Supporting Your Friend
3-1. Make plans in advance.
Most autistic people are far from spontaneous. Your friend likely has routines they follow, and if you want to do something with them they need adequate time to prepare for the occasion and work it into their schedule.
Giving your friend plenty of advance notice shows that you respect them, and also increases the chances they'll be willing to accompany you to an event or participate in an activity.
Your friend will be more likely to do things with you if they are familiar things occurring in familiar locations. Many autistic people are resistant to trying new things or going to different places where they don't know if they will be comfortable.
Be specific with the details. Most autistic people don't enjoy surprises, and even if you have the best of intentions your efforts could backfire.
Let your friend know if other people are going to be there, particularly if they are other friends or mutual acquaintances.
3-2. Defend your friend to others.
Autistic people frequently are the target of teasing and bullies, particularly when they're younger. Autistic adults may misinterpret friendly teasing from others, especially if it comes from someone they don't know very well.
You don't have to draw additional attention to your friend or single them out to stand up for them.
You can simply say something like "Hey, I think that was a little over the line," or "I realize you were just joking, but you went too far."
Another way to defuse a situation is to point out something good about your friend or about the thing they're being teased about.
For example, you might say "I get that you think her interest in comic books is weird, but she won $500 in a comic book trivia contest last year."
3-3. Respect your friend's privacy.
Not all autistic people necessarily want everyone they encounter to know they're autistic. Before you disclose such personal information to someone, make sure your friend is okay with it.
Keep in mind that many autistic people have been bullied or teased in the past because they were different. They may be trying to fit in without pointing out their differences, which can make them feel vulnerable.
For this reason, when someone tells you they are autistic they are often indicating that they trust you and feel safe with you.
There is so much dehumanizing and negative coverage of autism in the media, they couldn't be sure how you might react.
3-4. Don't make a big deal out of stimming.
Many autistic people "stim" (short for self-stimulation). For example, your friend may flap their hands, or fidget with or chew on a necklace or other accessory. Stimming is a natural and healthy response to an environment that can be overwhelming or difficult at times.
Sometimes people stim as an attempt to stave off sensory overload. If you notice that your friend is starting to feel overloaded, help them find a quiet place where they can recover immediately.
Stimming can also be used in neutral situations, or to express happiness. If this is the case, there's no need to react. Treat it the same way you'd treat someone jumping for joy or scratching an itch. Some people think that this stimming is cute, and will smile or laugh if they see an autistic person doing it. (This is also okay.)
Never pin someone down or stop them from stimming. This is really damaging, and you could seriously injure them.
3-5. Assist your friend in reaching their social goals.
Your friend may have particular social skills that they want to improve. If they let you know of anything like this, do what you can to increase their comfort level in that area.
For example, you can simulate social situations with your friend in a safe, comfortable environment so they can practice interacting with other people.
Since many autistic people rely on scripts to interact in social situations, these simulated practices can help improve their social skills.
Keep in mind that if your friend is older, they may have already written off some social situations and decided they don't need them in their life. For example, your friend may have decided that they won't go to any holiday parties.
You may be able to encourage them to give something another chance, but generally, you should respect their decision.
3-6. Ask your friend for resources.
Autism is a spectrum. This means that there are many different kinds of autism – as many as there are autistic people. Learning about your friend’s autism can help you better understand them. The more you know about autism in general and your friend’s in particular, the less you'll feel upset or insulted if your friend happens to do something that you don't consider in keeping with your relationship.
Find out what organizations your friend likes, or if there are any particular books they recommend. Your friend will appreciate the fact that you're making an effort to understand something that they consider an important part of their identity.
Ask your friend or someone close to them about their autism, their needs and preferences, and the obstacles they’ve overcome. Keep in mind that autistic people can’t always communicate their needs and preferences.
Offer to accompany your friend to events at autistic-run organizations, take part in Autism Acceptance Month, and share articles written by autistic people.
Keep in mind that many autistic people have gone through abusive therapy, been dehumanized in the media and by medical professionals, or been reduced to a burden and list of symptoms.
For this reason, it's important to regularly let your friend know that you care about them and love them for who they are. Treat them with kindness and compassion, just as you would any other friend.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating with Your Friend\\n1-1. Be patient.\\nPatience is important in any relationship, but it may be most important if you are a neurotypical person who wants to be a good friend to an autistic person. Your friend may do some things that confuse or frustrate you, but you have to be willing to make the effort to understand where they're coming from.\\nKeep in mind that all autistic people are different, just as all neurotypical people are different. If you've met one autistic person, all this means is that you've met one autistic person.\\nThis means that just because you may have an autistic person in your family, that doesn't mean you can interact with your friend in the same way, or expect them to act similarly or have the same difficulties.\\nMany autistic people say things that are very direct, and your friend may say something that hurts you. Try not to take this personally. They probably had no idea that what they said was hurtful.\\nLet your friend know that what they said upset you, and help them understand better how to communicate in a more tactful and productive way.\\nFor example, your friend might say \\\"That shirt makes you look ugly.\\\" You can explain that it hurts to be told that, and ask them what they dislike about your shirt. In the future, they can avoid a similar situation by saying something such as \\\"I don't think that's your best color,\\\" or \\\"I thought the shirt you wore yesterday was more flattering.\\\"\\n1-2. Use simple, concrete language.\\nAutistic people tend to understand what you're saying better when you speak in short, active sentences and use specifics. While you should make an effort to do this so you will be better understood, this doesn't necessarily mean you should significantly alter your normal pattern of speech.\\nFor example, instead of saying \\\"Hey, do you want to hang out tomorrow?\\\" you might say \\\"I want to spend time with you tomorrow. Would you rather watch a movie or go to the coffee shop?\\\"\\nIf you talk to your autistic friend differently from the way you talk to other people, they'll notice and might find it insulting.\\nAt the same time, they will appreciate it if you make an effort to communicate effectively with them.\\nIf you find that you're frequently having to explain yourself or clarify your statements, try to find out why and make an effort to speak more clearly.\\nDon't condescend to them by speaking slowly, \\\"dumbing down\\\" your vocabulary, talking about them as if they weren't there, or assuming they won't understand anything. This is really insulting, and it will annoy your friend.\\n1-3. Avoid sarcasm and figurative speech.\\nAutistic people may not pick up on facial expressions, social cues, or figurative language such as sarcasm. If you notice that your friend seems confused, ask why, and offer to clarify.\\nFor many people, friendly teasing is one of the ways they show friendly affection. However, many autistic people may take what you say literally and think you are insulting them or that you no longer want to be their friend.\\nIf your friend is a teenager or adult, they likely have learned how to understand some figurative speech. However, it still may take them a minute to realize you didn't mean something literally or that you were saying it in jest.\\nFor example, if you say \\\"Oh that's just great\\\" in a sarcastic tone when your friend is telling you about something bad that happened to them, they might take it to mean that you think it was good that something bad happened to them.\\nRather, speak literally. If your friend is telling you about something bad that happened to them, just say \\\"That's terrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Would you like me to help?\\\"\\nIf your friend takes something literally that you meant as a joke and is hurt by it, apologize immediately. Don't try to excuse your behavior or blame them for misunderstanding you.\\n1-4. Understand the friendship may be one-sided.\\nAutistic people often inadvertently alienate friends because they have difficulty understanding when they need to reach out, or how they should keep in contact with you.\\nPart of being a good friend is understanding that you may have to put forth the bulk of the effort to keep in contact and to do things together.\\nIf your friend doesn't get back to you right away, or if weeks go by without you hearing from them, try not to take it personally.\\nKeep in mind that many autistic people will assume that you will contact them if you want to talk to them or hang out with them. If they don't hear from you, they believe you're busy or don't want to do anything with them.\\nFor this reason, try to initiate contact on a regular basis. Don't worry if you're the only one in the relationship that ever texts or calls first, or you're the only one who ever makes plans.\\n1-5. Express interest and curiosity.\\nAutistic people typically have an intense interest in a particular thing – sometimes even several things simultaneously. These are referred to as \\\"special interests,\\\" and are very important to each person.\\nAspies typically have few friends, so if you've already started a friendship it's likely that friendship revolves around some mutually shared interest.\\nAutistic people often research their special interests extensively and have a vast amount of knowledge on the subject. By asking questions, you can learn a lot from your autistic friend.\\nAutistic people also enjoy talking about their special interests, so you often can use a special interest to kickstart an engaging and stimulating conversation.\\nHowever, keep in mind that your friend is likely to get so involved in talking about their special interest that they keep monologuing about it long after you've lost interest.\\nAsk questions or steer them to another topic when you feel like you've had enough – autistic people often have trouble reading body language and may not pick up on the fact that you're bored.\\nFor example, you might say \\\"I know we were talking about world records, but that reminded me of the World Series. Do you enjoy baseball? Who do you think will win the game tonight?\\\"\\n2. Understanding Sensory Sensitivities\\n2-1. Ask your friend about sensory sensitivities.\\nMost autistic people have issues with how they perceive things through touch, sight, hearing, smell, or taste. These sensitivities vary widely among individuals, so the best thing to do is ask your friend about theirs.\\nIf your friend doesn't enjoy a particular place or activity, this may be because of their sensory sensitivities.\\nFor example, someone who is overly sensitive to sounds may not enjoy a loud, busy coffee shop. While you're able to tune out the background noise, they can't filter the sounds in the same way and end up getting overstimulated.\\nMany autistic people who have visual sensitivities have problems with fluorescent lights. This may mean that your autistic friend wouldn't enjoy shopping with you at some department stores or malls.\\n2-2. Accept differences even if you don't understand them.\\nBeing a good friend means accepting what your autistic friend says about their sensory sensitivities at face value. Even if they have particular sensitivities that make no sense to you, expressing doubt can upset your friend.\\nThink about how you perceive the world through your senses. You likely assumed everyone perceived the world the same as you did until you had a reason to learn otherwise. Autistic people are the same.\\nFor example, if you wear glasses or contacts, you likely can remember a time before you were prescribed these aids. You probably thought you could see just fine until a test revealed your vision was impaired. Once you got your glasses, you realized how you were supposed to see the world.\\nSensory issues are much like this. Your friend may not realize that there's anything \\\"different\\\" about the fact that certain perfumes give them a headache, or they get tense and frustrated when in a room with fluorescent lighting.\\nSensory issues can be particularly difficult to explain, which means your friend may not be able to explain a problem in a way you can understand, or provide a reason for why a place or activity bothers them.\\n2-3. Make accommodations.\\nSometimes, you may need to make accommodations for your friend's special needs. For example, you may need to eat in a quieter corner of the cafeteria, rather than right in the middle where it's louder and busier. Your friend will be able to tell you what they need to make the environment work for them. \\nIt is not rude to ask, for example, \\\"Is there anything I should know about your needs before we go to the concert?\\\" In fact, your friend will appreciate you thinking ahead and wanting to be helpful.\\nGive your friend as much information as you can about the place you're going so they can evaluate the situation and prepare themselves.\\nIf you invite your friend over to your home often, you want to make sure it's a place they find safe and comfortable. To be a good friend, display a willingness to change things they find overstimulating or uncomfortable.\\nFor example, if there are televisions in several rooms, you may want to close doors so there are not multiple sounds competing for attention.\\n2-4. Learn to recognize the signs of overstimulation.\\nWhen an autistic person goes into overload, they may panic, melt down, curl into a ball, run away, or lose the ability to speak. You can help the autistic person by escorting them to a quiet place, not putting demands on them, and giving them time to recover.\\nParticularly if your friend is a teenager or adult, they've likely learned to identify things they do when they're approaching their limit. Ask them about these signs so you can be on the lookout for them.\\nKeep in mind that sensory overstimulation often is quite painful for your friend. They need to get out of the situation as soon as possible so they can recharge.\\nIf you're going to a public place where overstimulation is possible, be on the lookout for a quiet place where the two of you can retreat.\\nHelp your friend by leaving with them and making excuses to anyone with whom they were talking so no one takes offense if they have to leave abruptly.\\n2-5. Try to treat your friend like any other.\\nMany autistic people have been misunderstood or bullied, and sometimes treating them like a regular friend is what they really want. Sure, it takes a little while to get used to someone’s idiosyncrasies, but people do that for each other all the time. If an autistic teenager or adult is participating in social activities, they’re trying to interact with others without calling attention to their autism. Be sensitive to this possibility.\\n3. Supporting Your Friend\\n3-1. Make plans in advance.\\nMost autistic people are far from spontaneous. Your friend likely has routines they follow, and if you want to do something with them they need adequate time to prepare for the occasion and work it into their schedule.\\nGiving your friend plenty of advance notice shows that you respect them, and also increases the chances they'll be willing to accompany you to an event or participate in an activity.\\nYour friend will be more likely to do things with you if they are familiar things occurring in familiar locations. Many autistic people are resistant to trying new things or going to different places where they don't know if they will be comfortable.\\nBe specific with the details. Most autistic people don't enjoy surprises, and even if you have the best of intentions your efforts could backfire.\\nLet your friend know if other people are going to be there, particularly if they are other friends or mutual acquaintances.\\n3-2. Defend your friend to others.\\nAutistic people frequently are the target of teasing and bullies, particularly when they're younger. Autistic adults may misinterpret friendly teasing from others, especially if it comes from someone they don't know very well.\\nYou don't have to draw additional attention to your friend or single them out to stand up for them.\\nYou can simply say something like \\\"Hey, I think that was a little over the line,\\\" or \\\"I realize you were just joking, but you went too far.\\\"\\nAnother way to defuse a situation is to point out something good about your friend or about the thing they're being teased about.\\nFor example, you might say \\\"I get that you think her interest in comic books is weird, but she won $500 in a comic book trivia contest last year.\\\"\\n3-3. Respect your friend's privacy.\\nNot all autistic people necessarily want everyone they encounter to know they're autistic. Before you disclose such personal information to someone, make sure your friend is okay with it.\\nKeep in mind that many autistic people have been bullied or teased in the past because they were different. They may be trying to fit in without pointing out their differences, which can make them feel vulnerable.\\nFor this reason, when someone tells you they are autistic they are often indicating that they trust you and feel safe with you.\\nThere is so much dehumanizing and negative coverage of autism in the media, they couldn't be sure how you might react.\\n3-4. Don't make a big deal out of stimming.\\nMany autistic people \\\"stim\\\" (short for self-stimulation). For example, your friend may flap their hands, or fidget with or chew on a necklace or other accessory. Stimming is a natural and healthy response to an environment that can be overwhelming or difficult at times.\\nSometimes people stim as an attempt to stave off sensory overload. If you notice that your friend is starting to feel overloaded, help them find a quiet place where they can recover immediately.\\nStimming can also be used in neutral situations, or to express happiness. If this is the case, there's no need to react. Treat it the same way you'd treat someone jumping for joy or scratching an itch. Some people think that this stimming is cute, and will smile or laugh if they see an autistic person doing it. (This is also okay.)\\nNever pin someone down or stop them from stimming. This is really damaging, and you could seriously injure them.\\n3-5. Assist your friend in reaching their social goals.\\nYour friend may have particular social skills that they want to improve. If they let you know of anything like this, do what you can to increase their comfort level in that area.\\nFor example, you can simulate social situations with your friend in a safe, comfortable environment so they can practice interacting with other people.\\nSince many autistic people rely on scripts to interact in social situations, these simulated practices can help improve their social skills.\\nKeep in mind that if your friend is older, they may have already written off some social situations and decided they don't need them in their life. For example, your friend may have decided that they won't go to any holiday parties.\\nYou may be able to encourage them to give something another chance, but generally, you should respect their decision.\\n3-6. Ask your friend for resources.\\nAutism is a spectrum. This means that there are many different kinds of autism – as many as there are autistic people. Learning about your friend’s autism can help you better understand them. The more you know about autism in general and your friend’s in particular, the less you'll feel upset or insulted if your friend happens to do something that you don't consider in keeping with your relationship.\\nFind out what organizations your friend likes, or if there are any particular books they recommend. Your friend will appreciate the fact that you're making an effort to understand something that they consider an important part of their identity.\\nAsk your friend or someone close to them about their autism, their needs and preferences, and the obstacles they’ve overcome. Keep in mind that autistic people can’t always communicate their needs and preferences.\\nOffer to accompany your friend to events at autistic-run organizations, take part in Autism Acceptance Month, and share articles written by autistic people.\\nKeep in mind that many autistic people have gone through abusive therapy, been dehumanized in the media and by medical professionals, or been reduced to a burden and list of symptoms.\\nFor this reason, it's important to regularly let your friend know that you care about them and love them for who they are. Treat them with kindness and compassion, just as you would any other friend.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asperger's Syndrome is part of the autism spectrum, and typically refers to people who are highly intelligent and \\\"low-support,\\\" but have significant social difficulties. While Asperger's Syndrome is no longer recognized as a medical diagnosis in the psychiatric field, there still are a number of people who were previously diagnosed with Asperger's, or who identify as \\\"Aspies.\\\" Many of these people have difficulty starting and maintaining friendships. To be a good friend to an Aspie, you must understand how best to communicate with them so you can understand and respect their differences.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating with Your Friend\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"Patience is important in any relationship, but it may be most important if you are a neurotypical person who wants to be a good friend to an autistic person. Your friend may do some things that confuse or frustrate you, but you have to be willing to make the effort to understand where they're coming from.\\nKeep in mind that all autistic people are different, just as all neurotypical people are different. If you've met one autistic person, all this means is that you've met one autistic person.\\nThis means that just because you may have an autistic person in your family, that doesn't mean you can interact with your friend in the same way, or expect them to act similarly or have the same difficulties.\\nMany autistic people say things that are very direct, and your friend may say something that hurts you. Try not to take this personally. They probably had no idea that what they said was hurtful.\\nLet your friend know that what they said upset you, and help them understand better how to communicate in a more tactful and productive way.\\nFor example, your friend might say \\\"That shirt makes you look ugly.\\\" You can explain that it hurts to be told that, and ask them what they dislike about your shirt. In the future, they can avoid a similar situation by saying something such as \\\"I don't think that's your best color,\\\" or \\\"I thought the shirt you wore yesterday was more flattering.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use simple, concrete language.\", \"描述\": \"Autistic people tend to understand what you're saying better when you speak in short, active sentences and use specifics. While you should make an effort to do this so you will be better understood, this doesn't necessarily mean you should significantly alter your normal pattern of speech.\\nFor example, instead of saying \\\"Hey, do you want to hang out tomorrow?\\\" you might say \\\"I want to spend time with you tomorrow. Would you rather watch a movie or go to the coffee shop?\\\"\\nIf you talk to your autistic friend differently from the way you talk to other people, they'll notice and might find it insulting.\\nAt the same time, they will appreciate it if you make an effort to communicate effectively with them.\\nIf you find that you're frequently having to explain yourself or clarify your statements, try to find out why and make an effort to speak more clearly.\\nDon't condescend to them by speaking slowly, \\\"dumbing down\\\" your vocabulary, talking about them as if they weren't there, or assuming they won't understand anything. This is really insulting, and it will annoy your friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid sarcasm and figurative speech.\", \"描述\": \"Autistic people may not pick up on facial expressions, social cues, or figurative language such as sarcasm. If you notice that your friend seems confused, ask why, and offer to clarify.\\nFor many people, friendly teasing is one of the ways they show friendly affection. However, many autistic people may take what you say literally and think you are insulting them or that you no longer want to be their friend.\\nIf your friend is a teenager or adult, they likely have learned how to understand some figurative speech. However, it still may take them a minute to realize you didn't mean something literally or that you were saying it in jest.\\nFor example, if you say \\\"Oh that's just great\\\" in a sarcastic tone when your friend is telling you about something bad that happened to them, they might take it to mean that you think it was good that something bad happened to them.\\nRather, speak literally. If your friend is telling you about something bad that happened to them, just say \\\"That's terrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Would you like me to help?\\\"\\nIf your friend takes something literally that you meant as a joke and is hurt by it, apologize immediately. Don't try to excuse your behavior or blame them for misunderstanding you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understand the friendship may be one-sided.\", \"描述\": \"Autistic people often inadvertently alienate friends because they have difficulty understanding when they need to reach out, or how they should keep in contact with you.\\nPart of being a good friend is understanding that you may have to put forth the bulk of the effort to keep in contact and to do things together.\\nIf your friend doesn't get back to you right away, or if weeks go by without you hearing from them, try not to take it personally.\\nKeep in mind that many autistic people will assume that you will contact them if you want to talk to them or hang out with them. If they don't hear from you, they believe you're busy or don't want to do anything with them.\\nFor this reason, try to initiate contact on a regular basis. Don't worry if you're the only one in the relationship that ever texts or calls first, or you're the only one who ever makes plans.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Express interest and curiosity.\", \"描述\": \"Autistic people typically have an intense interest in a particular thing – sometimes even several things simultaneously. These are referred to as \\\"special interests,\\\" and are very important to each person.\\nAspies typically have few friends, so if you've already started a friendship it's likely that friendship revolves around some mutually shared interest.\\nAutistic people often research their special interests extensively and have a vast amount of knowledge on the subject. By asking questions, you can learn a lot from your autistic friend.\\nAutistic people also enjoy talking about their special interests, so you often can use a special interest to kickstart an engaging and stimulating conversation.\\nHowever, keep in mind that your friend is likely to get so involved in talking about their special interest that they keep monologuing about it long after you've lost interest.\\nAsk questions or steer them to another topic when you feel like you've had enough – autistic people often have trouble reading body language and may not pick up on the fact that you're bored.\\nFor example, you might say \\\"I know we were talking about world records, but that reminded me of the World Series. Do you enjoy baseball? Who do you think will win the game tonight?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understanding Sensory Sensitivities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your friend about sensory sensitivities.\", \"描述\": \"Most autistic people have issues with how they perceive things through touch, sight, hearing, smell, or taste. These sensitivities vary widely among individuals, so the best thing to do is ask your friend about theirs.\\nIf your friend doesn't enjoy a particular place or activity, this may be because of their sensory sensitivities.\\nFor example, someone who is overly sensitive to sounds may not enjoy a loud, busy coffee shop. While you're able to tune out the background noise, they can't filter the sounds in the same way and end up getting overstimulated.\\nMany autistic people who have visual sensitivities have problems with fluorescent lights. This may mean that your autistic friend wouldn't enjoy shopping with you at some department stores or malls.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept differences even if you don't understand them.\", \"描述\": \"Being a good friend means accepting what your autistic friend says about their sensory sensitivities at face value. Even if they have particular sensitivities that make no sense to you, expressing doubt can upset your friend.\\nThink about how you perceive the world through your senses. You likely assumed everyone perceived the world the same as you did until you had a reason to learn otherwise. Autistic people are the same.\\nFor example, if you wear glasses or contacts, you likely can remember a time before you were prescribed these aids. You probably thought you could see just fine until a test revealed your vision was impaired. Once you got your glasses, you realized how you were supposed to see the world.\\nSensory issues are much like this. Your friend may not realize that there's anything \\\"different\\\" about the fact that certain perfumes give them a headache, or they get tense and frustrated when in a room with fluorescent lighting.\\nSensory issues can be particularly difficult to explain, which means your friend may not be able to explain a problem in a way you can understand, or provide a reason for why a place or activity bothers them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make accommodations.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, you may need to make accommodations for your friend's special needs. For example, you may need to eat in a quieter corner of the cafeteria, rather than right in the middle where it's louder and busier. Your friend will be able to tell you what they need to make the environment work for them. \\nIt is not rude to ask, for example, \\\"Is there anything I should know about your needs before we go to the concert?\\\" In fact, your friend will appreciate you thinking ahead and wanting to be helpful.\\nGive your friend as much information as you can about the place you're going so they can evaluate the situation and prepare themselves.\\nIf you invite your friend over to your home often, you want to make sure it's a place they find safe and comfortable. To be a good friend, display a willingness to change things they find overstimulating or uncomfortable.\\nFor example, if there are televisions in several rooms, you may want to close doors so there are not multiple sounds competing for attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to recognize the signs of overstimulation.\", \"描述\": \"When an autistic person goes into overload, they may panic, melt down, curl into a ball, run away, or lose the ability to speak. You can help the autistic person by escorting them to a quiet place, not putting demands on them, and giving them time to recover.\\nParticularly if your friend is a teenager or adult, they've likely learned to identify things they do when they're approaching their limit. Ask them about these signs so you can be on the lookout for them.\\nKeep in mind that sensory overstimulation often is quite painful for your friend. They need to get out of the situation as soon as possible so they can recharge.\\nIf you're going to a public place where overstimulation is possible, be on the lookout for a quiet place where the two of you can retreat.\\nHelp your friend by leaving with them and making excuses to anyone with whom they were talking so no one takes offense if they have to leave abruptly.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to treat your friend like any other.\", \"描述\": \"Many autistic people have been misunderstood or bullied, and sometimes treating them like a regular friend is what they really want. Sure, it takes a little while to get used to someone’s idiosyncrasies, but people do that for each other all the time. If an autistic teenager or adult is participating in social activities, they’re trying to interact with others without calling attention to their autism. Be sensitive to this possibility.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Supporting Your Friend\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make plans in advance.\", \"描述\": \"Most autistic people are far from spontaneous. Your friend likely has routines they follow, and if you want to do something with them they need adequate time to prepare for the occasion and work it into their schedule.\\nGiving your friend plenty of advance notice shows that you respect them, and also increases the chances they'll be willing to accompany you to an event or participate in an activity.\\nYour friend will be more likely to do things with you if they are familiar things occurring in familiar locations. Many autistic people are resistant to trying new things or going to different places where they don't know if they will be comfortable.\\nBe specific with the details. Most autistic people don't enjoy surprises, and even if you have the best of intentions your efforts could backfire.\\nLet your friend know if other people are going to be there, particularly if they are other friends or mutual acquaintances.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Defend your friend to others.\", \"描述\": \"Autistic people frequently are the target of teasing and bullies, particularly when they're younger. Autistic adults may misinterpret friendly teasing from others, especially if it comes from someone they don't know very well.\\nYou don't have to draw additional attention to your friend or single them out to stand up for them.\\nYou can simply say something like \\\"Hey, I think that was a little over the line,\\\" or \\\"I realize you were just joking, but you went too far.\\\"\\nAnother way to defuse a situation is to point out something good about your friend or about the thing they're being teased about.\\nFor example, you might say \\\"I get that you think her interest in comic books is weird, but she won $500 in a comic book trivia contest last year.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respect your friend's privacy.\", \"描述\": \"Not all autistic people necessarily want everyone they encounter to know they're autistic. Before you disclose such personal information to someone, make sure your friend is okay with it.\\nKeep in mind that many autistic people have been bullied or teased in the past because they were different. They may be trying to fit in without pointing out their differences, which can make them feel vulnerable.\\nFor this reason, when someone tells you they are autistic they are often indicating that they trust you and feel safe with you.\\nThere is so much dehumanizing and negative coverage of autism in the media, they couldn't be sure how you might react.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't make a big deal out of stimming.\", \"描述\": \"Many autistic people \\\"stim\\\" (short for self-stimulation). For example, your friend may flap their hands, or fidget with or chew on a necklace or other accessory. Stimming is a natural and healthy response to an environment that can be overwhelming or difficult at times.\\nSometimes people stim as an attempt to stave off sensory overload. If you notice that your friend is starting to feel overloaded, help them find a quiet place where they can recover immediately.\\nStimming can also be used in neutral situations, or to express happiness. If this is the case, there's no need to react. Treat it the same way you'd treat someone jumping for joy or scratching an itch. Some people think that this stimming is cute, and will smile or laugh if they see an autistic person doing it. (This is also okay.)\\nNever pin someone down or stop them from stimming. This is really damaging, and you could seriously injure them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Assist your friend in reaching their social goals.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend may have particular social skills that they want to improve. If they let you know of anything like this, do what you can to increase their comfort level in that area.\\nFor example, you can simulate social situations with your friend in a safe, comfortable environment so they can practice interacting with other people.\\nSince many autistic people rely on scripts to interact in social situations, these simulated practices can help improve their social skills.\\nKeep in mind that if your friend is older, they may have already written off some social situations and decided they don't need them in their life. For example, your friend may have decided that they won't go to any holiday parties.\\nYou may be able to encourage them to give something another chance, but generally, you should respect their decision.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask your friend for resources.\", \"描述\": \"Autism is a spectrum. This means that there are many different kinds of autism – as many as there are autistic people. Learning about your friend’s autism can help you better understand them. The more you know about autism in general and your friend’s in particular, the less you'll feel upset or insulted if your friend happens to do something that you don't consider in keeping with your relationship.\\nFind out what organizations your friend likes, or if there are any particular books they recommend. Your friend will appreciate the fact that you're making an effort to understand something that they consider an important part of their identity.\\nAsk your friend or someone close to them about their autism, their needs and preferences, and the obstacles they’ve overcome. Keep in mind that autistic people can’t always communicate their needs and preferences.\\nOffer to accompany your friend to events at autistic-run organizations, take part in Autism Acceptance Month, and share articles written by autistic people.\\nKeep in mind that many autistic people have gone through abusive therapy, been dehumanized in the media and by medical professionals, or been reduced to a burden and list of symptoms.\\nFor this reason, it's important to regularly let your friend know that you care about them and love them for who they are. Treat them with kindness and compassion, just as you would any other friend.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
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How to Be a Good Friend to Someone Who Self Harms
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1. Supporting Your Loved One
1-1. Be present and listen.
Someone who is engaging in self-harm is in a significant amount of distress. It is important that they have individuals who they can count on and who will be open to listening to their experience. Tell the person who is self-harming that you are here to listen to them whenever they would like to talk.
Show empathy for their current emotional distress and the self-harming behavior, while also relating to them as a whole person. You may say something like: “I know you’re in a lot of pain right now, and I just want you to know I’m here for you in whatever way you need. We can talk if you are ready, or we can do something else you enjoy right now.”
1-2. Ask them how they are feeling.
It can mean a lot to a person who is in distress to be able to open up to someone about how they are feeling. Initiating this conversation can also help your friend feel less guilt if they are feeling like they are burdening you for seeking your help.
You can say: “I just wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling today. I’m here if you need to talk about something.”
1-3. Avoid judgment.
The way you react to self-harm is important because it sends a message to the individual about how others perceive them and their current struggles. If you respond in a way that signals judgment, they may be hesitant to reach out to others for help in the future..
Your immediate reaction might be to tell your friend that how they are reacting is dangerous or harmful, but instead say something like: “I don’t know exactly why you’re self-harming, but I can understand that you’re in a lot of pain. I want to better understand what you’re going through.”
1-4. Respect your friend’s autonomy.
Self-harming may be the only coping mechanism the individual can use currently to alleviate emotional distress and that overcoming self-injury is likely going to be a long and difficult journey. Only the individual can decide when they are ready to stop self-harming.
1-5. Do not gossip.
It can be overwhelming to find out a friend of yours is self-harming, and you might be tempted to tell other friends. However, self-harming is often a private matter and it is important that your friend has your trust. It should be noted that you should gain additional help if you are worried your friend may be suicidal.
If others express their concern or ask you what is going on with your friend, you can say: “I know you want to help and you’re concerned, but it’s probably better if you talk to them yourself. I don’t want to betray their trust.”
1-6. Do not set ultimatums.
Telling your friend they have to stop or you will tell someone, or you will stop being their friend, will only push your friend away and make them feel more isolated.
Rather than setting an ultimatum, tell your friend: “I know you’re in a lot of pain right now, and I would like to see you stop doing this one day. But I know only you can decide when to stop, and I’m not going to force you to do anything.”
1-7. Share resources with your friend.
There are many free and valuable resources that can help your friend learn more about self-harm as a coping mechanism and also how to learn to cope in different ways.
Visit http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm to debunk myths about self-harm, learn about the dangers of self-harm, and how to cope with emotional stress in different ways.
The S.A.F.E. Alternatives Information line available in the U.S. at 1-800-366-8288 is a resource that your friend can call to get support with self-harming behavior and referrals for mental health professionals.
You can tell your friend: “I’ve been looking around for different resources to help you. I just wanted to share a couple with you to see if you might want to use them. There is no pressure at all if you don’t find them helpful though.”
1-8. Seek additional help when you can’t do it by yourself.
While you want to respect your friend’s privacy, there may come a point where you feel like there is nothing more you can do, and you might be worried for your friend’s safety.
Encourage your friend to seek professional help, such as a counselor or psychologist, in order to get extra support and to get to the underlying causes of their self-harming behavior. You can even offer to go with your friend to the counselor’s office to show that you care about their well-being. Say something such as: “I know you’re scared right now, but I think getting some extra help might be really good in helping you heal right now. I can even go with you to see the counselor.”
If you and your friend are under 18, it will be especially important to tell an adult that can monitor the situation and get extra help as needed. Talk with your friend and see if they can choose an adult who they trust with this information.
Call 911 in the United States, or the emergency line in your country, if your friend’s self-injury appears to be medically concerning or life-threatening.
2. Educating Yourself
2-1. Learn about self-harm and how it differs from suicide.
When you find out that one of your loved ones is self-harming, you may feel shocked, saddened, and concerned that they want to take their life. Self-harm is actually a coping mechanism used for a variety of reasons to alleviate emotional pain and does not always signal suicidal ideation.
A significant difference between suicide and self-harm involves intent. An individual who possesses active suicidal thoughts is seriously considering taking their own life because they see no other escape from their current distress.
An individual who is self-harming is likely using this technique as a coping mechanism to alleviate psychological or emotional distress, to affirm they are alive, or to experience a mental rush.
2-2. Become aware of local and national resources.
There are many local and national resources that can help you be a better friend to someone who is self-harming as well as inform you of the professional resources that might be handy to give your friend.
Your Life Your Voice is a national resource in the U.S. that provides a free hotline for kids, teenagers, and young adults to call at any time when they are experiencing distress. They are also open to talking to friends and loved ones about how to better help those who are self-harming. Visit www.yourlifeyourvoice.org to learn more.
S.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends) is another national educational resource base in the U.S. that provides treatments, outreach programs, and knowledge for those that are self-harming and those who are loved ones trying to help a friend. S.A.F.E. also provides a list of local mental health professionals who specialize in self-harming behavior. Visit http://www.selfinjury.com to get more information.
2-3. Explore educational resources.
If you are in school or in higher education, reach out to your school counselor or college mental health center to get more information about how to talk to your friend and help your friend who is self-harming.
A mental health professional is bound by confidentiality and cannot tell anyone what you discussed unless you reveal imminent risk, such as suicidal or homicidal ideation. However, as a courtesy to your friend, consider telling them that you are going to seek outside resources without using their name.
You might start a conversation with a counselor by saying: “I have a good friend who has been using self-harming to cope with their emotional issues. I feel a little over my head and could really use some help in how to help them.”
3. Taking Care of Yourself
3-1. Find a support network.
While you do not want to gossip about your friend who is self-harming, it will be important that you find your own support network to help you deal with your own feelings about self-harming and the possible stress and concern that comes with being friends with someone who is self-harming. Getting your own support will alleviate some of your distress and help you be a better friend.
Talk to someone in your family whom you trust. If you are really close to one of your parents or one of your siblings, they might be a good support system for you through this time. You might say: “I have a friend who is going through a hard time, and I could really use someone to talk to about it because I’m really worried. I want to make sure I’m helping them the best way I can.”
3-2. Seek professional resources.
Sometimes people seek out counseling or therapy in order to talk about their relationships with others. It is normal to see a counselor to discuss the worries you have about your friend, to talk about how the situation is affecting you, and to talk about the best strategies to use to help your friend. Your local school or college counselor might be a good resource if you are currently in an educational institution.
3-3. Engage in relaxing activities.
You might want to be there for your friend whenever you can throughout the day. However, it is important that you take care of your own well-being too since being with your friend might cause you to feel emotionally exhausted. Stay involved with activities that cause you to feel relaxed and happy.
Go for a run or walk. Physical activity has many natural health benefits, including improving mood and decreasing stress. Even a quick 20-minute run or jog can help you feel more positive and more energized to talk with your friend again.
Listen to music. Music is often therapeutic and allows you to calm yourself while separating yourself from others.
Watch a funny movie or television show. Laughter is a powerful tool to help improve mood and increase positive future thinking. If you are feeling hopeless about the situation with your friend, a few laughs could really help you feel enthusiastic about your ability to help them.
3-4. Be honest about your boundaries.
It is commendable to be supportive, caring, and helpful to your friend who is going through such a difficult time. However, if you start to notice that you are unhappy everyday, tense and anxious, or unable to concentrate on any other commitments, it might be time to tell your friend that you are unable to continue supporting them as much as you did before.
If it reaches this point, talk to your friend about reaching out to other people for support. You can say something like: “I really care about you and want to keep being there for you, but I think we need to get other people involved who might really be there to help you. I want you to get the best support possible, and I don’t think that’s always me anymore.”
Tips
Patience and empathy are essential so that you can demonstrate support and understanding of your friend’s self-harming behavior.
Do not get angry with your friend for self-injurious behavior or try to talk them out of doing it. Recovering from self-harming behavior is a slow process that takes a different amount of time for each person.
Take care of yourself and do not expect to “fix” or “save” your friend. You can be a source of support and friendship, but ultimately it is up to your friend to decide how to handle their problems and concerns.
Warnings
It should be noted that while self-harm is not directly related to suicide, those who self-harm are at a higher risk for suicide. If your friend tells you they are considering suicide, find help from a qualified professional right away. A good immediate resource is the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which can be reached by texting or calling 988. You can also visit their website for additional resources.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:52:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Supporting Your Loved One\\n1-1. Be present and listen.\\nSomeone who is engaging in self-harm is in a significant amount of distress. It is important that they have individuals who they can count on and who will be open to listening to their experience. Tell the person who is self-harming that you are here to listen to them whenever they would like to talk.\\nShow empathy for their current emotional distress and the self-harming behavior, while also relating to them as a whole person. You may say something like: “I know you’re in a lot of pain right now, and I just want you to know I’m here for you in whatever way you need. We can talk if you are ready, or we can do something else you enjoy right now.”\\n1-2. Ask them how they are feeling.\\nIt can mean a lot to a person who is in distress to be able to open up to someone about how they are feeling. Initiating this conversation can also help your friend feel less guilt if they are feeling like they are burdening you for seeking your help.\\nYou can say: “I just wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling today. I’m here if you need to talk about something.”\\n1-3. Avoid judgment.\\nThe way you react to self-harm is important because it sends a message to the individual about how others perceive them and their current struggles. If you respond in a way that signals judgment, they may be hesitant to reach out to others for help in the future..\\nYour immediate reaction might be to tell your friend that how they are reacting is dangerous or harmful, but instead say something like: “I don’t know exactly why you’re self-harming, but I can understand that you’re in a lot of pain. I want to better understand what you’re going through.”\\n1-4. Respect your friend’s autonomy.\\nSelf-harming may be the only coping mechanism the individual can use currently to alleviate emotional distress and that overcoming self-injury is likely going to be a long and difficult journey. Only the individual can decide when they are ready to stop self-harming.\\n1-5. Do not gossip.\\nIt can be overwhelming to find out a friend of yours is self-harming, and you might be tempted to tell other friends. However, self-harming is often a private matter and it is important that your friend has your trust. It should be noted that you should gain additional help if you are worried your friend may be suicidal.\\nIf others express their concern or ask you what is going on with your friend, you can say: “I know you want to help and you’re concerned, but it’s probably better if you talk to them yourself. I don’t want to betray their trust.”\\n1-6. Do not set ultimatums.\\nTelling your friend they have to stop or you will tell someone, or you will stop being their friend, will only push your friend away and make them feel more isolated.\\nRather than setting an ultimatum, tell your friend: “I know you’re in a lot of pain right now, and I would like to see you stop doing this one day. But I know only you can decide when to stop, and I’m not going to force you to do anything.”\\n1-7. Share resources with your friend.\\nThere are many free and valuable resources that can help your friend learn more about self-harm as a coping mechanism and also how to learn to cope in different ways.\\nVisit http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm to debunk myths about self-harm, learn about the dangers of self-harm, and how to cope with emotional stress in different ways.\\nThe S.A.F.E. Alternatives Information line available in the U.S. at 1-800-366-8288 is a resource that your friend can call to get support with self-harming behavior and referrals for mental health professionals.\\nYou can tell your friend: “I’ve been looking around for different resources to help you. I just wanted to share a couple with you to see if you might want to use them. There is no pressure at all if you don’t find them helpful though.”\\n1-8. Seek additional help when you can’t do it by yourself.\\nWhile you want to respect your friend’s privacy, there may come a point where you feel like there is nothing more you can do, and you might be worried for your friend’s safety.\\nEncourage your friend to seek professional help, such as a counselor or psychologist, in order to get extra support and to get to the underlying causes of their self-harming behavior. You can even offer to go with your friend to the counselor’s office to show that you care about their well-being. Say something such as: “I know you’re scared right now, but I think getting some extra help might be really good in helping you heal right now. I can even go with you to see the counselor.”\\nIf you and your friend are under 18, it will be especially important to tell an adult that can monitor the situation and get extra help as needed. Talk with your friend and see if they can choose an adult who they trust with this information.\\nCall 911 in the United States, or the emergency line in your country, if your friend’s self-injury appears to be medically concerning or life-threatening.\\n2. Educating Yourself\\n2-1. Learn about self-harm and how it differs from suicide.\\nWhen you find out that one of your loved ones is self-harming, you may feel shocked, saddened, and concerned that they want to take their life. Self-harm is actually a coping mechanism used for a variety of reasons to alleviate emotional pain and does not always signal suicidal ideation.\\nA significant difference between suicide and self-harm involves intent. An individual who possesses active suicidal thoughts is seriously considering taking their own life because they see no other escape from their current distress.\\nAn individual who is self-harming is likely using this technique as a coping mechanism to alleviate psychological or emotional distress, to affirm they are alive, or to experience a mental rush.\\n2-2. Become aware of local and national resources.\\nThere are many local and national resources that can help you be a better friend to someone who is self-harming as well as inform you of the professional resources that might be handy to give your friend.\\nYour Life Your Voice is a national resource in the U.S. that provides a free hotline for kids, teenagers, and young adults to call at any time when they are experiencing distress. They are also open to talking to friends and loved ones about how to better help those who are self-harming. Visit www.yourlifeyourvoice.org to learn more.\\nS.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends) is another national educational resource base in the U.S. that provides treatments, outreach programs, and knowledge for those that are self-harming and those who are loved ones trying to help a friend. S.A.F.E. also provides a list of local mental health professionals who specialize in self-harming behavior. Visit http://www.selfinjury.com to get more information.\\n2-3. Explore educational resources.\\nIf you are in school or in higher education, reach out to your school counselor or college mental health center to get more information about how to talk to your friend and help your friend who is self-harming.\\nA mental health professional is bound by confidentiality and cannot tell anyone what you discussed unless you reveal imminent risk, such as suicidal or homicidal ideation. However, as a courtesy to your friend, consider telling them that you are going to seek outside resources without using their name.\\nYou might start a conversation with a counselor by saying: “I have a good friend who has been using self-harming to cope with their emotional issues. I feel a little over my head and could really use some help in how to help them.”\\n3. Taking Care of Yourself\\n3-1. Find a support network.\\nWhile you do not want to gossip about your friend who is self-harming, it will be important that you find your own support network to help you deal with your own feelings about self-harming and the possible stress and concern that comes with being friends with someone who is self-harming. Getting your own support will alleviate some of your distress and help you be a better friend.\\nTalk to someone in your family whom you trust. If you are really close to one of your parents or one of your siblings, they might be a good support system for you through this time. You might say: “I have a friend who is going through a hard time, and I could really use someone to talk to about it because I’m really worried. I want to make sure I’m helping them the best way I can.”\\n3-2. Seek professional resources.\\nSometimes people seek out counseling or therapy in order to talk about their relationships with others. It is normal to see a counselor to discuss the worries you have about your friend, to talk about how the situation is affecting you, and to talk about the best strategies to use to help your friend. Your local school or college counselor might be a good resource if you are currently in an educational institution.\\n3-3. Engage in relaxing activities.\\nYou might want to be there for your friend whenever you can throughout the day. However, it is important that you take care of your own well-being too since being with your friend might cause you to feel emotionally exhausted. Stay involved with activities that cause you to feel relaxed and happy.\\nGo for a run or walk. Physical activity has many natural health benefits, including improving mood and decreasing stress. Even a quick 20-minute run or jog can help you feel more positive and more energized to talk with your friend again.\\nListen to music. Music is often therapeutic and allows you to calm yourself while separating yourself from others.\\nWatch a funny movie or television show. Laughter is a powerful tool to help improve mood and increase positive future thinking. If you are feeling hopeless about the situation with your friend, a few laughs could really help you feel enthusiastic about your ability to help them.\\n3-4. Be honest about your boundaries.\\nIt is commendable to be supportive, caring, and helpful to your friend who is going through such a difficult time. However, if you start to notice that you are unhappy everyday, tense and anxious, or unable to concentrate on any other commitments, it might be time to tell your friend that you are unable to continue supporting them as much as you did before.\\nIf it reaches this point, talk to your friend about reaching out to other people for support. You can say something like: “I really care about you and want to keep being there for you, but I think we need to get other people involved who might really be there to help you. I want you to get the best support possible, and I don’t think that’s always me anymore.”\\nTips\\nPatience and empathy are essential so that you can demonstrate support and understanding of your friend’s self-harming behavior.\\nDo not get angry with your friend for self-injurious behavior or try to talk them out of doing it. Recovering from self-harming behavior is a slow process that takes a different amount of time for each person.\\nTake care of yourself and do not expect to “fix” or “save” your friend. You can be a source of support and friendship, but ultimately it is up to your friend to decide how to handle their problems and concerns.\\nWarnings\\nIt should be noted that while self-harm is not directly related to suicide, those who self-harm are at a higher risk for suicide. If your friend tells you they are considering suicide, find help from a qualified professional right away. A good immediate resource is the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which can be reached by texting or calling 988. You can also visit their website for additional resources.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can be very difficult to befriend someone who is self-harming because you might feel uneasy and worried about how to best help them. Being supportive of your friend and knowing what types of resources are available can help go a long way in helping your friend get assistance for some of their emotional distress. Learning more about self-injury and also knowing how you can support yourself through this friendship are also important aspects of helping a friend who is self-harming.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Supporting Your Loved One\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be present and listen.\", \"描述\": \"Someone who is engaging in self-harm is in a significant amount of distress. It is important that they have individuals who they can count on and who will be open to listening to their experience. Tell the person who is self-harming that you are here to listen to them whenever they would like to talk.\\nShow empathy for their current emotional distress and the self-harming behavior, while also relating to them as a whole person. You may say something like: “I know you’re in a lot of pain right now, and I just want you to know I’m here for you in whatever way you need. We can talk if you are ready, or we can do something else you enjoy right now.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask them how they are feeling.\", \"描述\": \"It can mean a lot to a person who is in distress to be able to open up to someone about how they are feeling. Initiating this conversation can also help your friend feel less guilt if they are feeling like they are burdening you for seeking your help.\\nYou can say: “I just wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling today. I’m here if you need to talk about something.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid judgment.\", \"描述\": \"The way you react to self-harm is important because it sends a message to the individual about how others perceive them and their current struggles. If you respond in a way that signals judgment, they may be hesitant to reach out to others for help in the future..\\nYour immediate reaction might be to tell your friend that how they are reacting is dangerous or harmful, but instead say something like: “I don’t know exactly why you’re self-harming, but I can understand that you’re in a lot of pain. I want to better understand what you’re going through.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respect your friend’s autonomy.\", \"描述\": \"Self-harming may be the only coping mechanism the individual can use currently to alleviate emotional distress and that overcoming self-injury is likely going to be a long and difficult journey. Only the individual can decide when they are ready to stop self-harming.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do not gossip.\", \"描述\": \"It can be overwhelming to find out a friend of yours is self-harming, and you might be tempted to tell other friends. However, self-harming is often a private matter and it is important that your friend has your trust. It should be noted that you should gain additional help if you are worried your friend may be suicidal.\\nIf others express their concern or ask you what is going on with your friend, you can say: “I know you want to help and you’re concerned, but it’s probably better if you talk to them yourself. I don’t want to betray their trust.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Do not set ultimatums.\", \"描述\": \"Telling your friend they have to stop or you will tell someone, or you will stop being their friend, will only push your friend away and make them feel more isolated.\\nRather than setting an ultimatum, tell your friend: “I know you’re in a lot of pain right now, and I would like to see you stop doing this one day. But I know only you can decide when to stop, and I’m not going to force you to do anything.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Share resources with your friend.\", \"描述\": \"There are many free and valuable resources that can help your friend learn more about self-harm as a coping mechanism and also how to learn to cope in different ways.\\nVisit http://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm to debunk myths about self-harm, learn about the dangers of self-harm, and how to cope with emotional stress in different ways.\\nThe S.A.F.E. Alternatives Information line available in the U.S. at 1-800-366-8288 is a resource that your friend can call to get support with self-harming behavior and referrals for mental health professionals.\\nYou can tell your friend: “I’ve been looking around for different resources to help you. I just wanted to share a couple with you to see if you might want to use them. There is no pressure at all if you don’t find them helpful though.”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Seek additional help when you can’t do it by yourself.\", \"描述\": \"While you want to respect your friend’s privacy, there may come a point where you feel like there is nothing more you can do, and you might be worried for your friend’s safety.\\nEncourage your friend to seek professional help, such as a counselor or psychologist, in order to get extra support and to get to the underlying causes of their self-harming behavior. You can even offer to go with your friend to the counselor’s office to show that you care about their well-being. Say something such as: “I know you’re scared right now, but I think getting some extra help might be really good in helping you heal right now. I can even go with you to see the counselor.”\\nIf you and your friend are under 18, it will be especially important to tell an adult that can monitor the situation and get extra help as needed. Talk with your friend and see if they can choose an adult who they trust with this information.\\nCall 911 in the United States, or the emergency line in your country, if your friend’s self-injury appears to be medically concerning or life-threatening.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Educating Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn about self-harm and how it differs from suicide.\", \"描述\": \"When you find out that one of your loved ones is self-harming, you may feel shocked, saddened, and concerned that they want to take their life. Self-harm is actually a coping mechanism used for a variety of reasons to alleviate emotional pain and does not always signal suicidal ideation.\\nA significant difference between suicide and self-harm involves intent. An individual who possesses active suicidal thoughts is seriously considering taking their own life because they see no other escape from their current distress.\\nAn individual who is self-harming is likely using this technique as a coping mechanism to alleviate psychological or emotional distress, to affirm they are alive, or to experience a mental rush.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Become aware of local and national resources.\", \"描述\": \"There are many local and national resources that can help you be a better friend to someone who is self-harming as well as inform you of the professional resources that might be handy to give your friend.\\nYour Life Your Voice is a national resource in the U.S. that provides a free hotline for kids, teenagers, and young adults to call at any time when they are experiencing distress. They are also open to talking to friends and loved ones about how to better help those who are self-harming. Visit www.yourlifeyourvoice.org to learn more.\\nS.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends) is another national educational resource base in the U.S. that provides treatments, outreach programs, and knowledge for those that are self-harming and those who are loved ones trying to help a friend. S.A.F.E. also provides a list of local mental health professionals who specialize in self-harming behavior. Visit http://www.selfinjury.com to get more information.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Explore educational resources.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in school or in higher education, reach out to your school counselor or college mental health center to get more information about how to talk to your friend and help your friend who is self-harming.\\nA mental health professional is bound by confidentiality and cannot tell anyone what you discussed unless you reveal imminent risk, such as suicidal or homicidal ideation. However, as a courtesy to your friend, consider telling them that you are going to seek outside resources without using their name.\\nYou might start a conversation with a counselor by saying: “I have a good friend who has been using self-harming to cope with their emotional issues. I feel a little over my head and could really use some help in how to help them.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a support network.\", \"描述\": \"While you do not want to gossip about your friend who is self-harming, it will be important that you find your own support network to help you deal with your own feelings about self-harming and the possible stress and concern that comes with being friends with someone who is self-harming. Getting your own support will alleviate some of your distress and help you be a better friend.\\nTalk to someone in your family whom you trust. If you are really close to one of your parents or one of your siblings, they might be a good support system for you through this time. You might say: “I have a friend who is going through a hard time, and I could really use someone to talk to about it because I’m really worried. I want to make sure I’m helping them the best way I can.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Seek professional resources.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes people seek out counseling or therapy in order to talk about their relationships with others. It is normal to see a counselor to discuss the worries you have about your friend, to talk about how the situation is affecting you, and to talk about the best strategies to use to help your friend. Your local school or college counselor might be a good resource if you are currently in an educational institution.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Engage in relaxing activities.\", \"描述\": \"You might want to be there for your friend whenever you can throughout the day. However, it is important that you take care of your own well-being too since being with your friend might cause you to feel emotionally exhausted. Stay involved with activities that cause you to feel relaxed and happy.\\nGo for a run or walk. Physical activity has many natural health benefits, including improving mood and decreasing stress. Even a quick 20-minute run or jog can help you feel more positive and more energized to talk with your friend again.\\nListen to music. Music is often therapeutic and allows you to calm yourself while separating yourself from others.\\nWatch a funny movie or television show. Laughter is a powerful tool to help improve mood and increase positive future thinking. If you are feeling hopeless about the situation with your friend, a few laughs could really help you feel enthusiastic about your ability to help them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest about your boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"It is commendable to be supportive, caring, and helpful to your friend who is going through such a difficult time. However, if you start to notice that you are unhappy everyday, tense and anxious, or unable to concentrate on any other commitments, it might be time to tell your friend that you are unable to continue supporting them as much as you did before.\\nIf it reaches this point, talk to your friend about reaching out to other people for support. You can say something like: “I really care about you and want to keep being there for you, but I think we need to get other people involved who might really be there to help you. I want you to get the best support possible, and I don’t think that’s always me anymore.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Patience and empathy are essential so that you can demonstrate support and understanding of your friend’s self-harming behavior.\\n\", \"Do not get angry with your friend for self-injurious behavior or try to talk them out of doing it. Recovering from self-harming behavior is a slow process that takes a different amount of time for each person.\\n\", \"Take care of yourself and do not expect to “fix” or “save” your friend. You can be a source of support and friendship, but ultimately it is up to your friend to decide how to handle their problems and concerns.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"It should be noted that while self-harm is not directly related to suicide, those who self-harm are at a higher risk for suicide. If your friend tells you they are considering suicide, find help from a qualified professional right away. A good immediate resource is the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which can be reached by texting or calling 988. You can also visit their website for additional resources.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,449 |
How to Be a Good Friend to Someone with Gender Dysphoria
|
1. Ask your friend what pronouns they use.
Stick to the correct pronouns when you talk about your friend.
Trans women (people who were assigned male but identify as female) usually use she/her, and trans guys (people who were assigned female but identify as male) tend to use he/him. However, some people may use they/them or neo-pronouns (pronouns other than she/he/they).
“Hey Jordan, what pronouns do you use?”
2. Tell your friend you support them and accept who they are.
Providing love and acceptance is a research-backed way to support LGBTQ+ people.
Let your friend know you appreciate them and like spending time with them. Tell them why you like them and what their friendship means to you. In particular, make sure you let them know you care when they come out to you or are going through an emotional struggle.
“I’m here for you. I care about you, and I’ll support you no matter what.”
“I feel like you’re always there for me. You’re so kind and funny, and your friendship makes my life better every day. I want you to know I’m here for you, too.”
3. Correct yourself quickly if you misgender your friend.
Apologize politely and move on with the conversation.
Misgendering your friend can mean using the wrong pronouns or referring to them by the wrong name. When it happens accidentally, just apologize without making a big deal of the situation (which can make your friend more uncomfortable) and use the correct pronouns.
“I’m sorry. I meant ‘They’re going to the mall later.’”
“Sorry, wrong name. Kenna, you should’ve gotten the chocolate ice cream.”
4. Keep your friend’s gender identity or dysphoria private.
Unless they tell you otherwise, don’t “out” your friend.
Keep your friend safe and comfortable by letting them choose when to reveal their gender identity to other people. Ask if there are cases where your friend doesn’t want you to use the correct pronouns, since your friend may not be openly trans/non-binary in some places. By giving your friend time to come out on their own, you let them experience the freedom to be or find who they are, on their own terms.
If you’re not sure who they’ve come out to, ask them: “I want to make sure I’m using the correct pronouns, but I also want to respect your privacy. Have you come out to the rest of our friends?”
If someone speculates or asks about your friend, say: “I don’t like to speak for them. You can ask them directly if you’re curious about their gender.”
5. Listen to your friend and affirm their feelings.
Learn more about your friend’s experiences through active listening.
Pay attention to what they’re saying, and let them know you hear them. If you're cisgender (meaning you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth), you might not be an expert on the issues your friend is facing, but you can validate how they feel. Always be ready to listen to them talk about their struggles and triumphs in discovering which gender identity feels right.
“I hear what you’re saying, and that sounds exciting/tough/amazing/scary.”
You can use brief verbal responses like “mm-hmm,” “I see,” “okay.”
If you’re not sure how to respond, ask, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “How can I best support you?”
6. Introduce yourself with your pronouns to support your friend.
Say your pronouns to make that a normal part of greetings.
Your friend might feel uncomfortable introducing themselves with their pronouns if no one else is doing it. When you give your own pronouns, it can both help your friend feel less isolated and model appropriate behavior for others. Add your pronouns after you introduce yourself, or you can even add pronouns to your social media profile, email signature, or video call meeting nametag.
“Hi, I’m Zoe and I use she/her pronouns.”
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Karl and I use he/him pronouns.”
“Hey, my name’s Denver and I use they/them pronouns.”
7. Use gender-inclusive language when you greet groups.
Pick words like “people,” “friends,” or “folks.”
Change the way you greet others to make sure your friend feels included, and make gender-inclusive greetings a habit whether your friend is present or not. Referring to your friends or coworkers with gendered terms like “girls,” “boys,” “dudes,” “bros,” or “ladies” might make your friend with dysphoria feel uncomfortable.
“Hi all, how are you doing?”
“Hey, friends. Can we get going?”
“Athletes/teammates, let’s huddle up.”
You can never tell someone’s gender identity from looking at them, so you might unknowingly make another person feel more comfortable when you opt for gender-inclusive language.
8. Stand up for your friend when they're put in tough situations.
Ask the offending person to change their behavior or to leave.
If the person is unintentionally using the wrong pronouns, let them know politely that they’re incorrect. If the person is openly harassing your friend, ask them to leave, and report their behavior if it poses a threat to your friend’s safety. Stepping in for your friend is one of the best ways you can support their health and wellbeing.
“Actually, his name is Nick, and he uses he/him pronouns.”
“Please leave. We’re not interested in talking to you.”
Ask your friend before you intervene on their behalf. Your friend may not want you to speak for them.
Ensure your intervention won’t escalate a conflict into violence or make your friend more uncomfortable/unsafe.
9. Advocate for all-gender accommodations in your community.
Demand inclusive bathrooms, locker rooms, and other signage.
Encourage your school or workplace to designate single-stall or all-gender bathrooms via talking to an administrator, board, or creating a petition. Ask local businesses directly to put up gender-neutral signage. Participate in protests, lobbying, and support bills to push for all-gender bathrooms in your community.
10. Continue to educate yourself.
Seek out resources and information.
Research the status of transgender and non-binary rights in your country. Listen to other gender nonconforming people’s stories, and learn about the different ways people can identify. As you keep learning, remember that it’s okay to admit what you don’t know!
Understand that sexuality and gender are two different things.
Know that there’s no right age or way for people to transition.
11. Support media created by trans and non-binary people.
Buy or view content that positively represents gender nonconforming people.
Watch documentaries, listen to podcasts and music, and read books about the lives of people who have experienced gender dysphoria to become a better ally to your friend and others like them. At the same time, you get to support the broader gender nonconforming community by acting as an audience for a variety of important lived experiences.
Warnings
Avoid gendered compliments, which can often come off as backhanded and hurtful. For instance, the comment “You look so pretty. You look like a real woman,” can be incredibly offensive.[16]
X
Research source
Avoid drawing attention to your friend's trans status in public, unless they ask you to.[17]
X
Research source
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Ask your friend what pronouns they use.\\nStick to the correct pronouns when you talk about your friend.\\nTrans women (people who were assigned male but identify as female) usually use she/her, and trans guys (people who were assigned female but identify as male) tend to use he/him. However, some people may use they/them or neo-pronouns (pronouns other than she/he/they).\\n“Hey Jordan, what pronouns do you use?”\\n2. Tell your friend you support them and accept who they are.\\nProviding love and acceptance is a research-backed way to support LGBTQ+ people.\\nLet your friend know you appreciate them and like spending time with them. Tell them why you like them and what their friendship means to you. In particular, make sure you let them know you care when they come out to you or are going through an emotional struggle.\\n“I’m here for you. I care about you, and I’ll support you no matter what.”\\n“I feel like you’re always there for me. You’re so kind and funny, and your friendship makes my life better every day. I want you to know I’m here for you, too.”\\n3. Correct yourself quickly if you misgender your friend.\\nApologize politely and move on with the conversation.\\nMisgendering your friend can mean using the wrong pronouns or referring to them by the wrong name. When it happens accidentally, just apologize without making a big deal of the situation (which can make your friend more uncomfortable) and use the correct pronouns.\\n“I’m sorry. I meant ‘They’re going to the mall later.’”\\n“Sorry, wrong name. Kenna, you should’ve gotten the chocolate ice cream.”\\n4. Keep your friend’s gender identity or dysphoria private.\\nUnless they tell you otherwise, don’t “out” your friend.\\nKeep your friend safe and comfortable by letting them choose when to reveal their gender identity to other people. Ask if there are cases where your friend doesn’t want you to use the correct pronouns, since your friend may not be openly trans/non-binary in some places. By giving your friend time to come out on their own, you let them experience the freedom to be or find who they are, on their own terms.\\nIf you’re not sure who they’ve come out to, ask them: “I want to make sure I’m using the correct pronouns, but I also want to respect your privacy. Have you come out to the rest of our friends?”\\nIf someone speculates or asks about your friend, say: “I don’t like to speak for them. You can ask them directly if you’re curious about their gender.”\\n5. Listen to your friend and affirm their feelings.\\nLearn more about your friend’s experiences through active listening.\\nPay attention to what they’re saying, and let them know you hear them. If you're cisgender (meaning you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth), you might not be an expert on the issues your friend is facing, but you can validate how they feel. Always be ready to listen to them talk about their struggles and triumphs in discovering which gender identity feels right.\\n“I hear what you’re saying, and that sounds exciting/tough/amazing/scary.”\\nYou can use brief verbal responses like “mm-hmm,” “I see,” “okay.”\\nIf you’re not sure how to respond, ask, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “How can I best support you?”\\n6. Introduce yourself with your pronouns to support your friend.\\nSay your pronouns to make that a normal part of greetings.\\nYour friend might feel uncomfortable introducing themselves with their pronouns if no one else is doing it. When you give your own pronouns, it can both help your friend feel less isolated and model appropriate behavior for others. Add your pronouns after you introduce yourself, or you can even add pronouns to your social media profile, email signature, or video call meeting nametag.\\n“Hi, I’m Zoe and I use she/her pronouns.”\\n“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Karl and I use he/him pronouns.”\\n“Hey, my name’s Denver and I use they/them pronouns.”\\n7. Use gender-inclusive language when you greet groups.\\nPick words like “people,” “friends,” or “folks.”\\nChange the way you greet others to make sure your friend feels included, and make gender-inclusive greetings a habit whether your friend is present or not. Referring to your friends or coworkers with gendered terms like “girls,” “boys,” “dudes,” “bros,” or “ladies” might make your friend with dysphoria feel uncomfortable.\\n“Hi all, how are you doing?”\\n“Hey, friends. Can we get going?”\\n“Athletes/teammates, let’s huddle up.”\\nYou can never tell someone’s gender identity from looking at them, so you might unknowingly make another person feel more comfortable when you opt for gender-inclusive language.\\n8. Stand up for your friend when they're put in tough situations.\\nAsk the offending person to change their behavior or to leave.\\nIf the person is unintentionally using the wrong pronouns, let them know politely that they’re incorrect. If the person is openly harassing your friend, ask them to leave, and report their behavior if it poses a threat to your friend’s safety. Stepping in for your friend is one of the best ways you can support their health and wellbeing.\\n“Actually, his name is Nick, and he uses he/him pronouns.”\\n“Please leave. We’re not interested in talking to you.”\\nAsk your friend before you intervene on their behalf. Your friend may not want you to speak for them.\\nEnsure your intervention won’t escalate a conflict into violence or make your friend more uncomfortable/unsafe.\\n9. Advocate for all-gender accommodations in your community.\\nDemand inclusive bathrooms, locker rooms, and other signage.\\nEncourage your school or workplace to designate single-stall or all-gender bathrooms via talking to an administrator, board, or creating a petition. Ask local businesses directly to put up gender-neutral signage. Participate in protests, lobbying, and support bills to push for all-gender bathrooms in your community.\\n10. Continue to educate yourself.\\nSeek out resources and information.\\nResearch the status of transgender and non-binary rights in your country. Listen to other gender nonconforming people’s stories, and learn about the different ways people can identify. As you keep learning, remember that it’s okay to admit what you don’t know!\\nUnderstand that sexuality and gender are two different things.\\nKnow that there’s no right age or way for people to transition.\\n11. Support media created by trans and non-binary people.\\nBuy or view content that positively represents gender nonconforming people.\\nWatch documentaries, listen to podcasts and music, and read books about the lives of people who have experienced gender dysphoria to become a better ally to your friend and others like them. At the same time, you get to support the broader gender nonconforming community by acting as an audience for a variety of important lived experiences.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid gendered compliments, which can often come off as backhanded and hurtful. For instance, the comment “You look so pretty. You look like a real woman,” can be incredibly offensive.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nAvoid drawing attention to your friend's trans status in public, unless they ask you to.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When your friend experiences gender dysphoria, you might not understand exactly what they’re going through if you’re a cisgender person. That’s totally okay—you can still support them, and you can take steps to educate yourself about their experience as you go. Gender dysphoria refers to a feeling of distress when a person’s gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. Not all trans or nonbinary people experience gender dysphoria, but if your friend is struggling, you can make a positive difference in their life.\\n\\nHere are 11 ways you can be a good ally to a friend who is experiencing gender dysphoria.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your friend what pronouns they use.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stick to the correct pronouns when you talk about your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Trans women (people who were assigned male but identify as female) usually use she/her, and trans guys (people who were assigned female but identify as male) tend to use he/him. However, some people may use they/them or neo-pronouns (pronouns other than she/he/they).\\n“Hey Jordan, what pronouns do you use?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell your friend you support them and accept who they are.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Providing love and acceptance is a research-backed way to support LGBTQ+ people.\", \"描述\": \"Let your friend know you appreciate them and like spending time with them. Tell them why you like them and what their friendship means to you. In particular, make sure you let them know you care when they come out to you or are going through an emotional struggle.\\n“I’m here for you. I care about you, and I’ll support you no matter what.”\\n“I feel like you’re always there for me. You’re so kind and funny, and your friendship makes my life better every day. I want you to know I’m here for you, too.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Correct yourself quickly if you misgender your friend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apologize politely and move on with the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Misgendering your friend can mean using the wrong pronouns or referring to them by the wrong name. When it happens accidentally, just apologize without making a big deal of the situation (which can make your friend more uncomfortable) and use the correct pronouns.\\n“I’m sorry. I meant ‘They’re going to the mall later.’”\\n“Sorry, wrong name. Kenna, you should’ve gotten the chocolate ice cream.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your friend’s gender identity or dysphoria private.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Unless they tell you otherwise, don’t “out” your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your friend safe and comfortable by letting them choose when to reveal their gender identity to other people. Ask if there are cases where your friend doesn’t want you to use the correct pronouns, since your friend may not be openly trans/non-binary in some places. By giving your friend time to come out on their own, you let them experience the freedom to be or find who they are, on their own terms.\\nIf you’re not sure who they’ve come out to, ask them: “I want to make sure I’m using the correct pronouns, but I also want to respect your privacy. Have you come out to the rest of our friends?”\\nIf someone speculates or asks about your friend, say: “I don’t like to speak for them. You can ask them directly if you’re curious about their gender.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen to your friend and affirm their feelings.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn more about your friend’s experiences through active listening.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention to what they’re saying, and let them know you hear them. If you're cisgender (meaning you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth), you might not be an expert on the issues your friend is facing, but you can validate how they feel. Always be ready to listen to them talk about their struggles and triumphs in discovering which gender identity feels right.\\n“I hear what you’re saying, and that sounds exciting/tough/amazing/scary.”\\nYou can use brief verbal responses like “mm-hmm,” “I see,” “okay.”\\nIf you’re not sure how to respond, ask, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “How can I best support you?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself with your pronouns to support your friend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say your pronouns to make that a normal part of greetings.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend might feel uncomfortable introducing themselves with their pronouns if no one else is doing it. When you give your own pronouns, it can both help your friend feel less isolated and model appropriate behavior for others. Add your pronouns after you introduce yourself, or you can even add pronouns to your social media profile, email signature, or video call meeting nametag.\\n“Hi, I’m Zoe and I use she/her pronouns.”\\n“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Karl and I use he/him pronouns.”\\n“Hey, my name’s Denver and I use they/them pronouns.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use gender-inclusive language when you greet groups.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick words like “people,” “friends,” or “folks.”\", \"描述\": \"Change the way you greet others to make sure your friend feels included, and make gender-inclusive greetings a habit whether your friend is present or not. Referring to your friends or coworkers with gendered terms like “girls,” “boys,” “dudes,” “bros,” or “ladies” might make your friend with dysphoria feel uncomfortable.\\n“Hi all, how are you doing?”\\n“Hey, friends. Can we get going?”\\n“Athletes/teammates, let’s huddle up.”\\nYou can never tell someone’s gender identity from looking at them, so you might unknowingly make another person feel more comfortable when you opt for gender-inclusive language.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Stand up for your friend when they're put in tough situations.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask the offending person to change their behavior or to leave.\", \"描述\": \"If the person is unintentionally using the wrong pronouns, let them know politely that they’re incorrect. If the person is openly harassing your friend, ask them to leave, and report their behavior if it poses a threat to your friend’s safety. Stepping in for your friend is one of the best ways you can support their health and wellbeing.\\n“Actually, his name is Nick, and he uses he/him pronouns.”\\n“Please leave. We’re not interested in talking to you.”\\nAsk your friend before you intervene on their behalf. Your friend may not want you to speak for them.\\nEnsure your intervention won’t escalate a conflict into violence or make your friend more uncomfortable/unsafe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Advocate for all-gender accommodations in your community.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Demand inclusive bathrooms, locker rooms, and other signage.\", \"描述\": \"Encourage your school or workplace to designate single-stall or all-gender bathrooms via talking to an administrator, board, or creating a petition. Ask local businesses directly to put up gender-neutral signage. Participate in protests, lobbying, and support bills to push for all-gender bathrooms in your community.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Continue to educate yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Seek out resources and information.\", \"描述\": \"Research the status of transgender and non-binary rights in your country. Listen to other gender nonconforming people’s stories, and learn about the different ways people can identify. As you keep learning, remember that it’s okay to admit what you don’t know!\\nUnderstand that sexuality and gender are two different things.\\nKnow that there’s no right age or way for people to transition.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Support media created by trans and non-binary people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Buy or view content that positively represents gender nonconforming people.\", \"描述\": \"Watch documentaries, listen to podcasts and music, and read books about the lives of people who have experienced gender dysphoria to become a better ally to your friend and others like them. At the same time, you get to support the broader gender nonconforming community by acting as an audience for a variety of important lived experiences.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid gendered compliments, which can often come off as backhanded and hurtful. For instance, the comment “You look so pretty. You look like a real woman,” can be incredibly offensive.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Avoid drawing attention to your friend's trans status in public, unless they ask you to.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,450 |
How to Be a Good Friend to a Guy
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1. Getting to Know Each Other
1-1. Smile and be approachable.
When you're hoping to make a new friend, it's important to seem approachable. Smiling at the other person, nodding at them in greeting, and keeping your body language relaxed all send the signal that you're open to a new friendship.
Giving off a positive vibe from the start will make other people more likely to want to get to know you and spend time around you.
To keep your body language relaxed, your arms should be unfolded, your shoulders should be back but not stiff, and you might lean back slightly. Imagine opening up your body, rather than folding yourself inwards and being closed off. Make sure your body language isn't coming off as flirtatious if you only want to be friends.
1-2. Strike up a conversation.
The hardest part of making a new friend might just be that first time you talk. When you spot a guy you think would be a good friend, look for opportunities to chat.
Start small. Try just saying, "Hey!" when you pass him in the hall or see him standing with a group of mutual acquaintances, or introduce yourself and offer a handshake.
Once you feel comfortable, you can work up to longer conversations. Start with something that both of you are interested in and work your way up to sharing personal details.
1-3. Ask him open-ended questions about himself and his interests.
Once you do get into a conversation, don't just talk about yourself. The whole point is to try to get to know this guy better, so ask him about what he likes, and try to avoid questions that can just be answered, “Yes” or “No.”
Try asking him questions like, “Where do you like to hang out on the weekends?”
Other topics you could ask him about include what kind of movies he likes, whether he has any pets (and follow-up questions about the pets if he has any), and what kind of games or sports he likes.
1-4. Be honest and true to yourself.
Honesty is a valuable trait in any friendship. You want to show your new friend the real you because that's who he's going to be spending time with. If you try to pretend to be something you're not, he'll eventually find out and will probably question whether or not he wants to be friends with you.
For example, if your friend says he likes a certain band or a sport, don't feel obligated to pretend you like it too.
Don't hide things about yourself because you're afraid your friend will judge you, either. Even if he's not into your collection of antique coins, he'll most likely appreciate that you have unique interests.
1-5. Invite him to hang out with you.
Make your new guy pal feel included by inviting him to tag along when you're going somewhere. Whether it's just you and him or a whole group of your friends, reach out and let him know he's welcome to come along.
If you and your friends have a Saturday video game session, ask him if he wants to come by!
If he mentions wanting to see a certain movie that you want to see too, invite him to go with you to see it.
1-6. Follow through when you say you'll do something.
If you make plans, don't cancel them unless it's an emergency. Regularly flaking on your new friend will make him think you don't value his time or his feelings, and eventually, he might decide he doesn't want to spend as much time around you.
Being dependable will also show him that you are trustworthy, which most guys really appreciate.
1-7. Laugh together.
If you see or hear something hilarious that makes you think of your guy friend, let him know! Sharing a laugh is a great way to build a friendship.
When you're not hanging out together, text him funny memes or an inside joke between the two of you.
If the two of you are always joking that your dog looks like a cow, for instance, edit a picture of your dog so it looks he's in front of a barn and add a funny caption like, "He finally admitted he's been undercover this whole time!"
1-8. Be a supportive friend.
If you see that your guy pal is having a rough day or he seems to be going through a hard time, let him know that you're there for him. Offer him a friendly ear to listen to his troubles, or try to think of something fun the two of you can do to take his mind off of things.
Try saying something like, "You seem kind of down today, wanna talk about it?"
You could also say something along the lines of, "I know you're feeling nervous about finals next week. Let's go get some ice cream and make a study plan."
2. Becoming Better Friends
2-1. Participate in activities together.
Guys often prefer what are called "shoulder-to-shoulder" friendships, meaning that they enjoy spending time doing things with their friends, rather than sitting face-to-face talking about things.
Examples of activities you could share include going to a museum, fixing your bike, or building a cool treehouse.
Other things you might try could be checking out a farmer's market, going to the bookstore, or going to a concert.
2-2. Compliment his strengths.
Everyone loves to have friends who make them feel good about themselves. You don't have to make a big deal out of it, but when you notice something your new guy friend is good at, mention it.
For instance, if he plays sports, you might say, "Nobody out there plays as hard as you when the game is on the line."
Another example could be saying something like, "Do you have any recommendations for a new band to listen to? You always know the best music."
You don't have to go overboard with this; just a little comment now and then will go a long way.
2-3. Don't share anything personal he tells you.
Honesty and dependability are important traits in a strong friendship, and most guys highly value loyalty. If your friend tells you something private or personal, show him that he can trust you by keeping it to yourself.
If you think your friend is in danger of hurting himself or someone else or is in serious trouble, talk to someone you trust.
2-4. Stand up for your friend if he needs it.
If someone is talking bad about your friend, making him feel uncomfortable, or spreading gossip about him, speak up. Sometimes it just takes one loyal friend to help a person stand up to a bully, and he might appreciate your support more than you know.
If you hear someone bad-mouthing your friend, try saying something like, "He's actually a really nice guy, and he doesn't deserve to be treated like that."
2-5. Say yes when you're invited somewhere.
Don't pass up opportunities to hang out, even when you feel like saying no. If your guy friend invites you somewhere, it's because he thinks it would be fun to share an experience with you.
If your guy friend invites you to go to church with him, for instance, consider taking him up on the offer even if you normally don't like to get up early on weekends. You don't have to convert to his faith, but might enjoy yourself and meet some new people. If nothing else, you'll learn more about your friend.
2-6. Celebrate the things that matter to him.
If it's your friends birthday, he aced his math test, or he won an award he worked really hard for, let him know that you're happy for him! Even something as small as saying “Congrats, dude!” can be mean a lot.
For an even bigger way to celebrate, give your pal a shout-out on social media—but ask him if it's okay first, of course.
2-7. Go on random, spontaneous adventures.
Sometimes the best memories you have of a friendship are the ones you never planned. Every once in awhile, invite your buddy to jump in the car with you for an impromptu road trip, have a night out at a place you wouldn't normally go, or go somewhere to eat that's totally out of your comfort zone.
While it can be fun to be unpredictable, try to make sure your plans don't cause your friend to miss work or school since getting into trouble might make him want to hang out with you less often.
2-8. Follow up after you hang out to let him know you had fun.
Call, text, or email your friend to build on conversations you had or touch base after you hang out. This will let him know that you had a good time and will help strengthen the friendship even more.
You don't have to gush to him about how it was the greatest time you ever had. Just a quick text like, “Next time, let's get ice cream AFTER we ride go-karts” will send the message that you want to hang out again.
3. Avoiding Common Pitfalls
3-1. Don't talk bad about his dating partner if he has one.
If you want to have a strong relationship with a guy friend, never make unkind comments about the person he's dating, even if you really don't like them.
Your friend chose his dating partner for a reason. You should never make him feel like he has to choose between his friendship and the person he dates.
If you can't make friends with your pal's partner, at least try to be civil. Invite the couple to hang out at group events, where you won't have to interact as closely with anyone you dislike.
3-2. Follow his lead for how serious the conversation should be.
Guys don't always open up about what they're thinking about, so don't push him to talk about serious subjects if he doesn't want to. If a serious conversation does come up, let it run its course, then move on to something else. You can make a joke, change the subject, or just start doing something to break the ice.
For example, if your friend mentions missing his grandfather who passed away, give him a chance to speak his mind, and share your own thoughts on the subject if you have any. Then, when you feel the moment has passed, turn the conversation back towards something that happened earlier, or the plans you have for the rest of the day.
3-3. Don't point out faults in his personality.
This is a friendship, and he doesn't owe it to you to change. Criticizing a guy friend about the things you don't like will break down your friendship.
For instance, if he always wears wrinkled clothes or you think he spends too much money on frivolous things, you should probably keep it to yourself.
If you're very close friends with someone, it can sometimes be acceptable to let them know when you think they are making a mistake or handling a situation the wrong way, but this should be done very sparingly.
If you decide you don't like someone else's character traits, you may decide you don't want to be their friend at all.
3-4. Move past disagreements quickly.
In a strong friendship, you have to be willing to move past little arguments. State your opinion when you need to, then put the incident behind you without holding a grudge.
If your friend does something thoughtless or says something that hurts your feelings, remember that everyone makes mistakes. Your friend may have been having a bad day, or he might have just been feeling frustrated. Try to move past it instead of holding on to hurt feelings.
If you notice a pattern of another person making you feel bad or taking advantage of you, it's okay to end the friendship.
3-5. Give the friendship time to grow.
Deep friendships don't develop overnight. Don't expect your new buddy to tell you his deepest thoughts because you hung out a few times. Just hang out and let things develop naturally.
Don't expect your new friend to spend all of his time with you or stop hanging out with his other friends just because you're in the picture. Similarly, you shouldn't neglect your old friends just because you have a new friend.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting to Know Each Other\\n1-1. Smile and be approachable.\\nWhen you're hoping to make a new friend, it's important to seem approachable. Smiling at the other person, nodding at them in greeting, and keeping your body language relaxed all send the signal that you're open to a new friendship.\\nGiving off a positive vibe from the start will make other people more likely to want to get to know you and spend time around you.\\nTo keep your body language relaxed, your arms should be unfolded, your shoulders should be back but not stiff, and you might lean back slightly. Imagine opening up your body, rather than folding yourself inwards and being closed off. Make sure your body language isn't coming off as flirtatious if you only want to be friends.\\n1-2. Strike up a conversation.\\nThe hardest part of making a new friend might just be that first time you talk. When you spot a guy you think would be a good friend, look for opportunities to chat.\\nStart small. Try just saying, \\\"Hey!\\\" when you pass him in the hall or see him standing with a group of mutual acquaintances, or introduce yourself and offer a handshake.\\nOnce you feel comfortable, you can work up to longer conversations. Start with something that both of you are interested in and work your way up to sharing personal details.\\n1-3. Ask him open-ended questions about himself and his interests.\\nOnce you do get into a conversation, don't just talk about yourself. The whole point is to try to get to know this guy better, so ask him about what he likes, and try to avoid questions that can just be answered, “Yes” or “No.”\\nTry asking him questions like, “Where do you like to hang out on the weekends?”\\nOther topics you could ask him about include what kind of movies he likes, whether he has any pets (and follow-up questions about the pets if he has any), and what kind of games or sports he likes.\\n1-4. Be honest and true to yourself.\\nHonesty is a valuable trait in any friendship. You want to show your new friend the real you because that's who he's going to be spending time with. If you try to pretend to be something you're not, he'll eventually find out and will probably question whether or not he wants to be friends with you.\\nFor example, if your friend says he likes a certain band or a sport, don't feel obligated to pretend you like it too.\\nDon't hide things about yourself because you're afraid your friend will judge you, either. Even if he's not into your collection of antique coins, he'll most likely appreciate that you have unique interests.\\n1-5. Invite him to hang out with you.\\nMake your new guy pal feel included by inviting him to tag along when you're going somewhere. Whether it's just you and him or a whole group of your friends, reach out and let him know he's welcome to come along.\\nIf you and your friends have a Saturday video game session, ask him if he wants to come by!\\nIf he mentions wanting to see a certain movie that you want to see too, invite him to go with you to see it.\\n1-6. Follow through when you say you'll do something.\\nIf you make plans, don't cancel them unless it's an emergency. Regularly flaking on your new friend will make him think you don't value his time or his feelings, and eventually, he might decide he doesn't want to spend as much time around you.\\nBeing dependable will also show him that you are trustworthy, which most guys really appreciate.\\n1-7. Laugh together.\\nIf you see or hear something hilarious that makes you think of your guy friend, let him know! Sharing a laugh is a great way to build a friendship. \\nWhen you're not hanging out together, text him funny memes or an inside joke between the two of you.\\nIf the two of you are always joking that your dog looks like a cow, for instance, edit a picture of your dog so it looks he's in front of a barn and add a funny caption like, \\\"He finally admitted he's been undercover this whole time!\\\"\\n1-8. Be a supportive friend.\\nIf you see that your guy pal is having a rough day or he seems to be going through a hard time, let him know that you're there for him. Offer him a friendly ear to listen to his troubles, or try to think of something fun the two of you can do to take his mind off of things.\\nTry saying something like, \\\"You seem kind of down today, wanna talk about it?\\\"\\nYou could also say something along the lines of, \\\"I know you're feeling nervous about finals next week. Let's go get some ice cream and make a study plan.\\\"\\n2. Becoming Better Friends\\n2-1. Participate in activities together.\\nGuys often prefer what are called \\\"shoulder-to-shoulder\\\" friendships, meaning that they enjoy spending time doing things with their friends, rather than sitting face-to-face talking about things.\\nExamples of activities you could share include going to a museum, fixing your bike, or building a cool treehouse.\\nOther things you might try could be checking out a farmer's market, going to the bookstore, or going to a concert.\\n2-2. Compliment his strengths.\\nEveryone loves to have friends who make them feel good about themselves. You don't have to make a big deal out of it, but when you notice something your new guy friend is good at, mention it. \\nFor instance, if he plays sports, you might say, \\\"Nobody out there plays as hard as you when the game is on the line.\\\"\\nAnother example could be saying something like, \\\"Do you have any recommendations for a new band to listen to? You always know the best music.\\\"\\nYou don't have to go overboard with this; just a little comment now and then will go a long way.\\n2-3. Don't share anything personal he tells you.\\nHonesty and dependability are important traits in a strong friendship, and most guys highly value loyalty. If your friend tells you something private or personal, show him that he can trust you by keeping it to yourself.\\nIf you think your friend is in danger of hurting himself or someone else or is in serious trouble, talk to someone you trust.\\n2-4. Stand up for your friend if he needs it.\\nIf someone is talking bad about your friend, making him feel uncomfortable, or spreading gossip about him, speak up. Sometimes it just takes one loyal friend to help a person stand up to a bully, and he might appreciate your support more than you know.\\nIf you hear someone bad-mouthing your friend, try saying something like, \\\"He's actually a really nice guy, and he doesn't deserve to be treated like that.\\\"\\n2-5. Say yes when you're invited somewhere.\\nDon't pass up opportunities to hang out, even when you feel like saying no. If your guy friend invites you somewhere, it's because he thinks it would be fun to share an experience with you. \\nIf your guy friend invites you to go to church with him, for instance, consider taking him up on the offer even if you normally don't like to get up early on weekends. You don't have to convert to his faith, but might enjoy yourself and meet some new people. If nothing else, you'll learn more about your friend.\\n2-6. Celebrate the things that matter to him.\\nIf it's your friends birthday, he aced his math test, or he won an award he worked really hard for, let him know that you're happy for him! Even something as small as saying “Congrats, dude!” can be mean a lot.\\nFor an even bigger way to celebrate, give your pal a shout-out on social media—but ask him if it's okay first, of course.\\n2-7. Go on random, spontaneous adventures.\\nSometimes the best memories you have of a friendship are the ones you never planned. Every once in awhile, invite your buddy to jump in the car with you for an impromptu road trip, have a night out at a place you wouldn't normally go, or go somewhere to eat that's totally out of your comfort zone.\\nWhile it can be fun to be unpredictable, try to make sure your plans don't cause your friend to miss work or school since getting into trouble might make him want to hang out with you less often.\\n2-8. Follow up after you hang out to let him know you had fun.\\nCall, text, or email your friend to build on conversations you had or touch base after you hang out. This will let him know that you had a good time and will help strengthen the friendship even more.\\nYou don't have to gush to him about how it was the greatest time you ever had. Just a quick text like, “Next time, let's get ice cream AFTER we ride go-karts” will send the message that you want to hang out again.\\n3. Avoiding Common Pitfalls\\n3-1. Don't talk bad about his dating partner if he has one.\\nIf you want to have a strong relationship with a guy friend, never make unkind comments about the person he's dating, even if you really don't like them. \\nYour friend chose his dating partner for a reason. You should never make him feel like he has to choose between his friendship and the person he dates.\\nIf you can't make friends with your pal's partner, at least try to be civil. Invite the couple to hang out at group events, where you won't have to interact as closely with anyone you dislike.\\n3-2. Follow his lead for how serious the conversation should be.\\nGuys don't always open up about what they're thinking about, so don't push him to talk about serious subjects if he doesn't want to. If a serious conversation does come up, let it run its course, then move on to something else. You can make a joke, change the subject, or just start doing something to break the ice.\\nFor example, if your friend mentions missing his grandfather who passed away, give him a chance to speak his mind, and share your own thoughts on the subject if you have any. Then, when you feel the moment has passed, turn the conversation back towards something that happened earlier, or the plans you have for the rest of the day.\\n3-3. Don't point out faults in his personality.\\nThis is a friendship, and he doesn't owe it to you to change. Criticizing a guy friend about the things you don't like will break down your friendship. \\nFor instance, if he always wears wrinkled clothes or you think he spends too much money on frivolous things, you should probably keep it to yourself.\\nIf you're very close friends with someone, it can sometimes be acceptable to let them know when you think they are making a mistake or handling a situation the wrong way, but this should be done very sparingly.\\nIf you decide you don't like someone else's character traits, you may decide you don't want to be their friend at all.\\n3-4. Move past disagreements quickly.\\nIn a strong friendship, you have to be willing to move past little arguments. State your opinion when you need to, then put the incident behind you without holding a grudge.\\nIf your friend does something thoughtless or says something that hurts your feelings, remember that everyone makes mistakes. Your friend may have been having a bad day, or he might have just been feeling frustrated. Try to move past it instead of holding on to hurt feelings.\\nIf you notice a pattern of another person making you feel bad or taking advantage of you, it's okay to end the friendship.\\n3-5. Give the friendship time to grow.\\nDeep friendships don't develop overnight. Don't expect your new buddy to tell you his deepest thoughts because you hung out a few times. Just hang out and let things develop naturally.\\nDon't expect your new friend to spend all of his time with you or stop hanging out with his other friends just because you're in the picture. Similarly, you shouldn't neglect your old friends just because you have a new friend.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Guys often tend to be less expressive than females, so it can be hard to know how to build a close, supportive friendship. However, guys are often very loyal to the people they do choose as their friends, so it's worth putting the time in when you find someone you like. By spending time hanging out and opening up a little at a time, you could end up with an awesome new friend!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Each Other\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile and be approachable.\", \"描述\": \"When you're hoping to make a new friend, it's important to seem approachable. Smiling at the other person, nodding at them in greeting, and keeping your body language relaxed all send the signal that you're open to a new friendship.\\nGiving off a positive vibe from the start will make other people more likely to want to get to know you and spend time around you.\\nTo keep your body language relaxed, your arms should be unfolded, your shoulders should be back but not stiff, and you might lean back slightly. Imagine opening up your body, rather than folding yourself inwards and being closed off. Make sure your body language isn't coming off as flirtatious if you only want to be friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strike up a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"The hardest part of making a new friend might just be that first time you talk. When you spot a guy you think would be a good friend, look for opportunities to chat.\\nStart small. Try just saying, \\\"Hey!\\\" when you pass him in the hall or see him standing with a group of mutual acquaintances, or introduce yourself and offer a handshake.\\nOnce you feel comfortable, you can work up to longer conversations. Start with something that both of you are interested in and work your way up to sharing personal details.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask him open-ended questions about himself and his interests.\", \"描述\": \"Once you do get into a conversation, don't just talk about yourself. The whole point is to try to get to know this guy better, so ask him about what he likes, and try to avoid questions that can just be answered, “Yes” or “No.”\\nTry asking him questions like, “Where do you like to hang out on the weekends?”\\nOther topics you could ask him about include what kind of movies he likes, whether he has any pets (and follow-up questions about the pets if he has any), and what kind of games or sports he likes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest and true to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Honesty is a valuable trait in any friendship. You want to show your new friend the real you because that's who he's going to be spending time with. If you try to pretend to be something you're not, he'll eventually find out and will probably question whether or not he wants to be friends with you.\\nFor example, if your friend says he likes a certain band or a sport, don't feel obligated to pretend you like it too.\\nDon't hide things about yourself because you're afraid your friend will judge you, either. Even if he's not into your collection of antique coins, he'll most likely appreciate that you have unique interests.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Invite him to hang out with you.\", \"描述\": \"Make your new guy pal feel included by inviting him to tag along when you're going somewhere. Whether it's just you and him or a whole group of your friends, reach out and let him know he's welcome to come along.\\nIf you and your friends have a Saturday video game session, ask him if he wants to come by!\\nIf he mentions wanting to see a certain movie that you want to see too, invite him to go with you to see it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Follow through when you say you'll do something.\", \"描述\": \"If you make plans, don't cancel them unless it's an emergency. Regularly flaking on your new friend will make him think you don't value his time or his feelings, and eventually, he might decide he doesn't want to spend as much time around you.\\nBeing dependable will also show him that you are trustworthy, which most guys really appreciate.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Laugh together.\", \"描述\": \"If you see or hear something hilarious that makes you think of your guy friend, let him know! Sharing a laugh is a great way to build a friendship. \\nWhen you're not hanging out together, text him funny memes or an inside joke between the two of you.\\nIf the two of you are always joking that your dog looks like a cow, for instance, edit a picture of your dog so it looks he's in front of a barn and add a funny caption like, \\\"He finally admitted he's been undercover this whole time!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be a supportive friend.\", \"描述\": \"If you see that your guy pal is having a rough day or he seems to be going through a hard time, let him know that you're there for him. Offer him a friendly ear to listen to his troubles, or try to think of something fun the two of you can do to take his mind off of things.\\nTry saying something like, \\\"You seem kind of down today, wanna talk about it?\\\"\\nYou could also say something along the lines of, \\\"I know you're feeling nervous about finals next week. Let's go get some ice cream and make a study plan.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Becoming Better Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Participate in activities together.\", \"描述\": \"Guys often prefer what are called \\\"shoulder-to-shoulder\\\" friendships, meaning that they enjoy spending time doing things with their friends, rather than sitting face-to-face talking about things.\\nExamples of activities you could share include going to a museum, fixing your bike, or building a cool treehouse.\\nOther things you might try could be checking out a farmer's market, going to the bookstore, or going to a concert.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment his strengths.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone loves to have friends who make them feel good about themselves. You don't have to make a big deal out of it, but when you notice something your new guy friend is good at, mention it. \\nFor instance, if he plays sports, you might say, \\\"Nobody out there plays as hard as you when the game is on the line.\\\"\\nAnother example could be saying something like, \\\"Do you have any recommendations for a new band to listen to? You always know the best music.\\\"\\nYou don't have to go overboard with this; just a little comment now and then will go a long way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't share anything personal he tells you.\", \"描述\": \"Honesty and dependability are important traits in a strong friendship, and most guys highly value loyalty. If your friend tells you something private or personal, show him that he can trust you by keeping it to yourself.\\nIf you think your friend is in danger of hurting himself or someone else or is in serious trouble, talk to someone you trust.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stand up for your friend if he needs it.\", \"描述\": \"If someone is talking bad about your friend, making him feel uncomfortable, or spreading gossip about him, speak up. Sometimes it just takes one loyal friend to help a person stand up to a bully, and he might appreciate your support more than you know.\\nIf you hear someone bad-mouthing your friend, try saying something like, \\\"He's actually a really nice guy, and he doesn't deserve to be treated like that.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Say yes when you're invited somewhere.\", \"描述\": \"Don't pass up opportunities to hang out, even when you feel like saying no. If your guy friend invites you somewhere, it's because he thinks it would be fun to share an experience with you. \\nIf your guy friend invites you to go to church with him, for instance, consider taking him up on the offer even if you normally don't like to get up early on weekends. You don't have to convert to his faith, but might enjoy yourself and meet some new people. If nothing else, you'll learn more about your friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Celebrate the things that matter to him.\", \"描述\": \"If it's your friends birthday, he aced his math test, or he won an award he worked really hard for, let him know that you're happy for him! Even something as small as saying “Congrats, dude!” can be mean a lot.\\nFor an even bigger way to celebrate, give your pal a shout-out on social media—but ask him if it's okay first, of course.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Go on random, spontaneous adventures.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the best memories you have of a friendship are the ones you never planned. Every once in awhile, invite your buddy to jump in the car with you for an impromptu road trip, have a night out at a place you wouldn't normally go, or go somewhere to eat that's totally out of your comfort zone.\\nWhile it can be fun to be unpredictable, try to make sure your plans don't cause your friend to miss work or school since getting into trouble might make him want to hang out with you less often.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Follow up after you hang out to let him know you had fun.\", \"描述\": \"Call, text, or email your friend to build on conversations you had or touch base after you hang out. This will let him know that you had a good time and will help strengthen the friendship even more.\\nYou don't have to gush to him about how it was the greatest time you ever had. Just a quick text like, “Next time, let's get ice cream AFTER we ride go-karts” will send the message that you want to hang out again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Common Pitfalls\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't talk bad about his dating partner if he has one.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to have a strong relationship with a guy friend, never make unkind comments about the person he's dating, even if you really don't like them. \\nYour friend chose his dating partner for a reason. You should never make him feel like he has to choose between his friendship and the person he dates.\\nIf you can't make friends with your pal's partner, at least try to be civil. Invite the couple to hang out at group events, where you won't have to interact as closely with anyone you dislike.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow his lead for how serious the conversation should be.\", \"描述\": \"Guys don't always open up about what they're thinking about, so don't push him to talk about serious subjects if he doesn't want to. If a serious conversation does come up, let it run its course, then move on to something else. You can make a joke, change the subject, or just start doing something to break the ice.\\nFor example, if your friend mentions missing his grandfather who passed away, give him a chance to speak his mind, and share your own thoughts on the subject if you have any. Then, when you feel the moment has passed, turn the conversation back towards something that happened earlier, or the plans you have for the rest of the day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't point out faults in his personality.\", \"描述\": \"This is a friendship, and he doesn't owe it to you to change. Criticizing a guy friend about the things you don't like will break down your friendship. \\nFor instance, if he always wears wrinkled clothes or you think he spends too much money on frivolous things, you should probably keep it to yourself.\\nIf you're very close friends with someone, it can sometimes be acceptable to let them know when you think they are making a mistake or handling a situation the wrong way, but this should be done very sparingly.\\nIf you decide you don't like someone else's character traits, you may decide you don't want to be their friend at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Move past disagreements quickly.\", \"描述\": \"In a strong friendship, you have to be willing to move past little arguments. State your opinion when you need to, then put the incident behind you without holding a grudge.\\nIf your friend does something thoughtless or says something that hurts your feelings, remember that everyone makes mistakes. Your friend may have been having a bad day, or he might have just been feeling frustrated. Try to move past it instead of holding on to hurt feelings.\\nIf you notice a pattern of another person making you feel bad or taking advantage of you, it's okay to end the friendship.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give the friendship time to grow.\", \"描述\": \"Deep friendships don't develop overnight. Don't expect your new buddy to tell you his deepest thoughts because you hung out a few times. Just hang out and let things develop naturally.\\nDon't expect your new friend to spend all of his time with you or stop hanging out with his other friends just because you're in the picture. Similarly, you shouldn't neglect your old friends just because you have a new friend.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,451 |
How to Be a Good Gaming Commentator on YouTube
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1. Setting Up
1-1. Create a YouTube channel.
If you haven't done this already, create a channel with the intention of game commentating.
Have a nickname. Make it clear and short so it catchy and people will actually enjoy saying it. A nickname is, of course, optional, but a lot of commentators have a nickname and it is part of your personal "branding". Keep in mind that there is no "perfect" nickname. Just find something that works for you.
1-2. Plan which games you are going to play and comment on.
It's recommended that you select one game that you're really good at and enjoy playing, to begin with. That way, the inspiration for your commentary won't be hard to come by and you'll probably have lots of interesting things to talk about, especially all the quirks, Easter eggs, mods and other things that you know about in relation to this specific game. As your channel becomes more popular, you can branch out to other games.
1-3. Consider what kind of commentating style fits you.
Are you going to be comedic, dramatic, informative, or something else? Work with your natural personality and style, as this is far easier to maintain. For example, it's easier to be yourself rather than trying to be peppy all the time when you're naturally sarcastic, and vice versa.
1-4. Have a signature saying.
You could use something you've heard and modify it to fit your gaming style or you can come up with something completely original. For example, a well-known YouTube commentator, PewDiePie, uses the word 'Bro' to refer to his subscribers. He's got more sayings too, and it's even better because it causes his channel to be different and more fun from other gaming channels.
It's nice if you can match the name you make up for your subscribers with the style of your videos or the games you're commenting on. For example, "Minecrafters", "CoDfans" or "Simsters". You will do best if you directly talk to your subscribers during your commentary, so that they feel you're connecting with them and that they're included.
1-5. Check out what the other commentators are doing.
Don't copy what they say and do, but use their examples to learn from. What sorts of things about their commentary engages you and encourages you to keep listening and learning? Adapt that knowledge to inform the manner in which you present your commentary.
1-6. Decide ahead of making the video and commentary what you're going to talk about.
A lot of ums, aahs and cuts due to blanking out can drive viewers bananas. Give them a well rehearsed and fluid performance, so that they're looking at a professional.
Write out script prompts or bullet points of things to address, whatever works for you. Be sure to have a game plan so that you're not just rambling and making stuff up as you go.
That said, it's still very useful to be flexible and spontaneous; not everything can be scripted and some of your best moments may be those that pop up when something unexpected happens during the gameplay. In which case, go with the flow and allow your surprise, confusion or annoyance come through, in just the way that another gamer would probably respond. It feels more real and provided you pick up the flow again, people will love it.
1-7. Record in a quiet area.
Set up your recording computer and other equipment where you won't be disturbed by people or noises. Anything in the background that adds noise will spoil the video and make it hard for the viewer to concentrate. Do everything in your power to make it professional and easy for the viewer. If you don't, the viewer will find someone who does.
1-8. Have the right equipment.
Use a good headset or microphone. Ensure that there is no static, screeching, and/or quiet speaking. However, if you are just starting out or can't afford a headset or microphone, then your subscribers will surely understand––just let them know and tell them you're saving up for better gear. Ask for these things as gifts from family and friends. Make sure you have a PC powerful enough to run the games you play at good frames while recording. Consider investing in a new processor because recording takes quite some processing power.
1-9. Eat and drink before you film.
Don't Let's Play on an empty stomach, Eat well to stay healthy and nourished. Gurgling stomachs and a light head won't help the commentary.
2. Making the Video with Commentary
2-1. Start by making a shorter video first.
It's much simpler and quicker to do commentaries with short videos, and they are good for seeing how the community will react to your videos. It's also best for the beginner because you'll feel less intimidated about how much effort you need to put in.
2-2. Create a signature intro/outro.
This means to have a professional looking video introduction. An introduction makes your video look much more professional. Even a simple fade in the beginning will be better than to start instantaneously. You will need a good program to help you make a decent introduction, such as Adobe After Effects. Windows Movie Maker may not be as useful for this but if it's all you have, give it a try.
See the next step for suggestions on what to talk about in the intro.
2-3. Commentate away.
Following your script prompts or bullet points, play the game part that you've chosen for the video commentating. Talk clearly into the microphone area and avoid coughing, sniffling, burping or any other distracting noises. Things you might commentate on include:
: This should discuss why you're choosing this game/this game section/this gameplay and what you are hoping to show your viewers. Tell them what the aim of the Let's Play is at the outset, so that they can decide whether or not to keep watching. Do not leave the purpose of your video unknown until the end, as it'll just encourage the viewer to leave; be clear from the start.
: Talk about how you're playing the game, the tricks you've discovered, the hairy parts to avoid or manage well, the ways in which you use weaponry/skills/strategy, etc. to overcome obstacles/survive/obtain gems/win, etc. Discuss the strategies you've worked out for being successful.
: If you're good with mods, talk about how to add them, what they can do and how readers can find them or make their own. Realize that a lot of people would love to use mods but are unsure of what to do, so be reassuring and offer a link to the basic of mods in the text underneath your video.
. While you don't want to repeat the wheel every time, always remember that you'll have new viewers who are unfamiliar with what you already know. Even though some things may be basic, it is always kind to mention new viewers and direct them as to where to find help. For example: "For those of you who are new to this, I'd suggest checking my link below to the basic tutorial, if you're unsure what to do." That'll take care of them without being rude and you don't have to go into copious detail and bore the more advanced viewers. Avoid derogatory terms such as noobs, as it just smacks of arrogance and will lose you viewers. Remember that new people can often bring fresh ideas and new ways of looking at things that might spark interesting future commentaries.
2-4. Refer to your subscribers as you comment on the game play.
Be sure to talk to your subscribers, not at them. By using your term for your subscribers often, they'll feel a part of the gaming. And every now and then, say the name of a specific subscriber. It's only natural to appreciate being singled out and spoken to directly; it feels special and such subscribers will keep coming back for more. Be generous with this!
For example: "Hey Simsters, I know some of you were keen to learn about how to make your Sims clean the toilet more often. Today I'll show you just how that works."
Another example: "Flesheatingflower, you wanted to know how to build a firepit in the middle of your house from morphing blocks. I am going to start out with just that today, so I hope it'll help you!"
2-5. Enjoy your game play.
It's only going to be a terrific video if you like to play. Play only when you want, play what you want, it's your decision.
Consider that you can be really subscriber-friendly by playing a custom map or story one of your subscribers suggest in the comments section.
2-6. Edit.
Adding some text or a picture on some situations can help to make the video seem more exciting, spooky, fun or just generally more interesting. Don't edit too much though, unless the main purpose of the video is showing an edit. The raw gameplay is what people have come to see and hear about, so as long as you've got some good commentary and quality filming, you'll be all set.
2-7. Upload regularly.
Aside from clear audio, another must in the YouTube business is uploading plenty of videos regularly. Determine how often you can edit videos. It should be at least 3 times a week but you should try for 2 videos a day or more if you are able to. Pre-recording plenty of videos and even setting up scheduled uploads will help with this.
3. Staying Attuned with Your Viewers and Future Success
3-1. Keep your video output regular and consistent.
If you get popular, remember to actively do things for your subscribers. If you get, say, thousands or more subscribers, majority of them will expect a new video from you for once per week at least.
Have a certain rate of video making. At least once per week is good, but more often leads to happier subscribers.
3-2. Avoid saying such things as:
"Don't forget to subscribe!" Reminding your viewers to subscribe, favorite a video, or like a video too often (and, sometimes, at all) will make it seem like you're desperate or will just sound so cliché that they stop listening. Just leave a link in the description of your video to your channel saying, "Subscribe!" Some people don't say anything at all and just let people do what they like, which when you think about it, is the coolest of all.
3-3. Read the comments.
Respond to the comments that ask questions and are polite. YouTube is known for its unfair share of rude, thoughtless and inconsiderate comments; ignore those. Respond to the comments that matter, the ones that are constructive and the ones that are polite, thoughtful and friendly. Those are the viewers you want to return and if you don't feed the trolls, you'll enjoy the experience a whole lot more.
3-4. Consider having a "reader's questions" commentary video every few weeks.
This will allow you to address a range of questions that you might have gathered over the various weeks and makes for an excellent way to comment without having to think too much about the script yourself. Your viewers will love having their questions answered and you can make it a regular feature, with plenty of build-up to encourage them to ask questions for each such session.
3-5. Try Livestream when you think you're ready for it.
If you're popular in YouTube, set up a Livestream. Places like YouTube and Twitch.TV are simple and can give the audience real-time chatting about your video. Although, at this point you will really need to consider making someone you trust a moderator to keep the order in there, to make it more pleasurable to others, as the chat stream can easily get out of hand.
Tips
Don't like your voice? It's alright. Many people don't like their voice heard in a video. To others, it might sound great. Just remember to speak clearly and everything will go better.
Try to get people interested. You should use around fifteen seconds at the start of a video to capture the attention of your audience.
Set up a Twitter account and/or a Facebook account with your YouTube name (if you don't want to use your real name, which is probably likely) to give subscribers another way to keep in contact with you and get more info about your videos.
Warnings
Don't copy others. That's just dull and makes you seem like an amateur.
If you have to go somewhere and you are popular, remember to tell it to your subscribers. If you do not tell them you will be gone for a moment, they may be surprised and wonder where you have gone. Plus, people will be excited and want to meet you if they are in that area!
Don't play when you have many other things to do. For example, you'll regret not making a 10-page essay on the night before it's supposed to be done before playing, leading to worse grades. Moreover, proof of you not studying will have been uploaded!
Don't try to make a video each day. It will only stress you out and make everyone expect you to do that always. If the quality drops, so will the viewers, so don't push it.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Setting Up\\n1-1. Create a YouTube channel.\\nIf you haven't done this already, create a channel with the intention of game commentating.\\nHave a nickname. Make it clear and short so it catchy and people will actually enjoy saying it. A nickname is, of course, optional, but a lot of commentators have a nickname and it is part of your personal \\\"branding\\\". Keep in mind that there is no \\\"perfect\\\" nickname. Just find something that works for you.\\n1-2. Plan which games you are going to play and comment on.\\nIt's recommended that you select one game that you're really good at and enjoy playing, to begin with. That way, the inspiration for your commentary won't be hard to come by and you'll probably have lots of interesting things to talk about, especially all the quirks, Easter eggs, mods and other things that you know about in relation to this specific game. As your channel becomes more popular, you can branch out to other games.\\n1-3. Consider what kind of commentating style fits you.\\nAre you going to be comedic, dramatic, informative, or something else? Work with your natural personality and style, as this is far easier to maintain. For example, it's easier to be yourself rather than trying to be peppy all the time when you're naturally sarcastic, and vice versa.\\n1-4. Have a signature saying.\\nYou could use something you've heard and modify it to fit your gaming style or you can come up with something completely original. For example, a well-known YouTube commentator, PewDiePie, uses the word 'Bro' to refer to his subscribers. He's got more sayings too, and it's even better because it causes his channel to be different and more fun from other gaming channels.\\nIt's nice if you can match the name you make up for your subscribers with the style of your videos or the games you're commenting on. For example, \\\"Minecrafters\\\", \\\"CoDfans\\\" or \\\"Simsters\\\". You will do best if you directly talk to your subscribers during your commentary, so that they feel you're connecting with them and that they're included.\\n1-5. Check out what the other commentators are doing.\\nDon't copy what they say and do, but use their examples to learn from. What sorts of things about their commentary engages you and encourages you to keep listening and learning? Adapt that knowledge to inform the manner in which you present your commentary.\\n1-6. Decide ahead of making the video and commentary what you're going to talk about.\\nA lot of ums, aahs and cuts due to blanking out can drive viewers bananas. Give them a well rehearsed and fluid performance, so that they're looking at a professional.\\nWrite out script prompts or bullet points of things to address, whatever works for you. Be sure to have a game plan so that you're not just rambling and making stuff up as you go.\\nThat said, it's still very useful to be flexible and spontaneous; not everything can be scripted and some of your best moments may be those that pop up when something unexpected happens during the gameplay. In which case, go with the flow and allow your surprise, confusion or annoyance come through, in just the way that another gamer would probably respond. It feels more real and provided you pick up the flow again, people will love it.\\n1-7. Record in a quiet area.\\nSet up your recording computer and other equipment where you won't be disturbed by people or noises. Anything in the background that adds noise will spoil the video and make it hard for the viewer to concentrate. Do everything in your power to make it professional and easy for the viewer. If you don't, the viewer will find someone who does.\\n1-8. Have the right equipment.\\nUse a good headset or microphone. Ensure that there is no static, screeching, and/or quiet speaking. However, if you are just starting out or can't afford a headset or microphone, then your subscribers will surely understand––just let them know and tell them you're saving up for better gear. Ask for these things as gifts from family and friends. Make sure you have a PC powerful enough to run the games you play at good frames while recording. Consider investing in a new processor because recording takes quite some processing power.\\n1-9. Eat and drink before you film.\\nDon't Let's Play on an empty stomach, Eat well to stay healthy and nourished. Gurgling stomachs and a light head won't help the commentary.\\n2. Making the Video with Commentary\\n2-1. Start by making a shorter video first.\\nIt's much simpler and quicker to do commentaries with short videos, and they are good for seeing how the community will react to your videos. It's also best for the beginner because you'll feel less intimidated about how much effort you need to put in.\\n2-2. Create a signature intro/outro.\\nThis means to have a professional looking video introduction. An introduction makes your video look much more professional. Even a simple fade in the beginning will be better than to start instantaneously. You will need a good program to help you make a decent introduction, such as Adobe After Effects. Windows Movie Maker may not be as useful for this but if it's all you have, give it a try.\\nSee the next step for suggestions on what to talk about in the intro.\\n2-3. Commentate away.\\nFollowing your script prompts or bullet points, play the game part that you've chosen for the video commentating. Talk clearly into the microphone area and avoid coughing, sniffling, burping or any other distracting noises. Things you might commentate on include:\\n\\n: This should discuss why you're choosing this game/this game section/this gameplay and what you are hoping to show your viewers. Tell them what the aim of the Let's Play is at the outset, so that they can decide whether or not to keep watching. Do not leave the purpose of your video unknown until the end, as it'll just encourage the viewer to leave; be clear from the start.\\n: Talk about how you're playing the game, the tricks you've discovered, the hairy parts to avoid or manage well, the ways in which you use weaponry/skills/strategy, etc. to overcome obstacles/survive/obtain gems/win, etc. Discuss the strategies you've worked out for being successful.\\n: If you're good with mods, talk about how to add them, what they can do and how readers can find them or make their own. Realize that a lot of people would love to use mods but are unsure of what to do, so be reassuring and offer a link to the basic of mods in the text underneath your video.\\n. While you don't want to repeat the wheel every time, always remember that you'll have new viewers who are unfamiliar with what you already know. Even though some things may be basic, it is always kind to mention new viewers and direct them as to where to find help. For example: \\\"For those of you who are new to this, I'd suggest checking my link below to the basic tutorial, if you're unsure what to do.\\\" That'll take care of them without being rude and you don't have to go into copious detail and bore the more advanced viewers. Avoid derogatory terms such as noobs, as it just smacks of arrogance and will lose you viewers. Remember that new people can often bring fresh ideas and new ways of looking at things that might spark interesting future commentaries.\\n2-4. Refer to your subscribers as you comment on the game play.\\nBe sure to talk to your subscribers, not at them. By using your term for your subscribers often, they'll feel a part of the gaming. And every now and then, say the name of a specific subscriber. It's only natural to appreciate being singled out and spoken to directly; it feels special and such subscribers will keep coming back for more. Be generous with this!\\nFor example: \\\"Hey Simsters, I know some of you were keen to learn about how to make your Sims clean the toilet more often. Today I'll show you just how that works.\\\"\\nAnother example: \\\"Flesheatingflower, you wanted to know how to build a firepit in the middle of your house from morphing blocks. I am going to start out with just that today, so I hope it'll help you!\\\"\\n2-5. Enjoy your game play.\\nIt's only going to be a terrific video if you like to play. Play only when you want, play what you want, it's your decision.\\nConsider that you can be really subscriber-friendly by playing a custom map or story one of your subscribers suggest in the comments section.\\n2-6. Edit.\\nAdding some text or a picture on some situations can help to make the video seem more exciting, spooky, fun or just generally more interesting. Don't edit too much though, unless the main purpose of the video is showing an edit. The raw gameplay is what people have come to see and hear about, so as long as you've got some good commentary and quality filming, you'll be all set.\\n2-7. Upload regularly.\\nAside from clear audio, another must in the YouTube business is uploading plenty of videos regularly. Determine how often you can edit videos. It should be at least 3 times a week but you should try for 2 videos a day or more if you are able to. Pre-recording plenty of videos and even setting up scheduled uploads will help with this.\\n3. Staying Attuned with Your Viewers and Future Success\\n3-1. Keep your video output regular and consistent.\\nIf you get popular, remember to actively do things for your subscribers. If you get, say, thousands or more subscribers, majority of them will expect a new video from you for once per week at least.\\nHave a certain rate of video making. At least once per week is good, but more often leads to happier subscribers.\\n3-2. Avoid saying such things as:\\n\\\"Don't forget to subscribe!\\\" Reminding your viewers to subscribe, favorite a video, or like a video too often (and, sometimes, at all) will make it seem like you're desperate or will just sound so cliché that they stop listening. Just leave a link in the description of your video to your channel saying, \\\"Subscribe!\\\" Some people don't say anything at all and just let people do what they like, which when you think about it, is the coolest of all.\\n3-3. Read the comments.\\nRespond to the comments that ask questions and are polite. YouTube is known for its unfair share of rude, thoughtless and inconsiderate comments; ignore those. Respond to the comments that matter, the ones that are constructive and the ones that are polite, thoughtful and friendly. Those are the viewers you want to return and if you don't feed the trolls, you'll enjoy the experience a whole lot more.\\n3-4. Consider having a \\\"reader's questions\\\" commentary video every few weeks.\\nThis will allow you to address a range of questions that you might have gathered over the various weeks and makes for an excellent way to comment without having to think too much about the script yourself. Your viewers will love having their questions answered and you can make it a regular feature, with plenty of build-up to encourage them to ask questions for each such session.\\n3-5. Try Livestream when you think you're ready for it.\\nIf you're popular in YouTube, set up a Livestream. Places like YouTube and Twitch.TV are simple and can give the audience real-time chatting about your video. Although, at this point you will really need to consider making someone you trust a moderator to keep the order in there, to make it more pleasurable to others, as the chat stream can easily get out of hand.\\nTips\\nDon't like your voice? It's alright. Many people don't like their voice heard in a video. To others, it might sound great. Just remember to speak clearly and everything will go better.\\nTry to get people interested. You should use around fifteen seconds at the start of a video to capture the attention of your audience.\\nSet up a Twitter account and/or a Facebook account with your YouTube name (if you don't want to use your real name, which is probably likely) to give subscribers another way to keep in contact with you and get more info about your videos.\\nWarnings\\nDon't copy others. That's just dull and makes you seem like an amateur.\\nIf you have to go somewhere and you are popular, remember to tell it to your subscribers. If you do not tell them you will be gone for a moment, they may be surprised and wonder where you have gone. Plus, people will be excited and want to meet you if they are in that area!\\nDon't play when you have many other things to do. For example, you'll regret not making a 10-page essay on the night before it's supposed to be done before playing, leading to worse grades. Moreover, proof of you not studying will have been uploaded!\\nDon't try to make a video each day. It will only stress you out and make everyone expect you to do that always. If the quality drops, so will the viewers, so don't push it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A gaming Youtuber makes quality videos that are accompanied by first class commentary. If you've never tried this before, you might be wondering where to start and what sorts of things to comment on. You'll find some answers in this article.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Setting Up\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a YouTube channel.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven't done this already, create a channel with the intention of game commentating.\\nHave a nickname. Make it clear and short so it catchy and people will actually enjoy saying it. A nickname is, of course, optional, but a lot of commentators have a nickname and it is part of your personal \\\"branding\\\". Keep in mind that there is no \\\"perfect\\\" nickname. Just find something that works for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan which games you are going to play and comment on.\", \"描述\": \"It's recommended that you select one game that you're really good at and enjoy playing, to begin with. That way, the inspiration for your commentary won't be hard to come by and you'll probably have lots of interesting things to talk about, especially all the quirks, Easter eggs, mods and other things that you know about in relation to this specific game. As your channel becomes more popular, you can branch out to other games.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider what kind of commentating style fits you.\", \"描述\": \"Are you going to be comedic, dramatic, informative, or something else? Work with your natural personality and style, as this is far easier to maintain. For example, it's easier to be yourself rather than trying to be peppy all the time when you're naturally sarcastic, and vice versa.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have a signature saying.\", \"描述\": \"You could use something you've heard and modify it to fit your gaming style or you can come up with something completely original. For example, a well-known YouTube commentator, PewDiePie, uses the word 'Bro' to refer to his subscribers. He's got more sayings too, and it's even better because it causes his channel to be different and more fun from other gaming channels.\\nIt's nice if you can match the name you make up for your subscribers with the style of your videos or the games you're commenting on. For example, \\\"Minecrafters\\\", \\\"CoDfans\\\" or \\\"Simsters\\\". You will do best if you directly talk to your subscribers during your commentary, so that they feel you're connecting with them and that they're included.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check out what the other commentators are doing.\", \"描述\": \"Don't copy what they say and do, but use their examples to learn from. What sorts of things about their commentary engages you and encourages you to keep listening and learning? Adapt that knowledge to inform the manner in which you present your commentary.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Decide ahead of making the video and commentary what you're going to talk about.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of ums, aahs and cuts due to blanking out can drive viewers bananas. Give them a well rehearsed and fluid performance, so that they're looking at a professional.\\nWrite out script prompts or bullet points of things to address, whatever works for you. Be sure to have a game plan so that you're not just rambling and making stuff up as you go.\\nThat said, it's still very useful to be flexible and spontaneous; not everything can be scripted and some of your best moments may be those that pop up when something unexpected happens during the gameplay. In which case, go with the flow and allow your surprise, confusion or annoyance come through, in just the way that another gamer would probably respond. It feels more real and provided you pick up the flow again, people will love it.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Record in a quiet area.\", \"描述\": \"Set up your recording computer and other equipment where you won't be disturbed by people or noises. Anything in the background that adds noise will spoil the video and make it hard for the viewer to concentrate. Do everything in your power to make it professional and easy for the viewer. If you don't, the viewer will find someone who does.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Have the right equipment.\", \"描述\": \"Use a good headset or microphone. Ensure that there is no static, screeching, and/or quiet speaking. However, if you are just starting out or can't afford a headset or microphone, then your subscribers will surely understand––just let them know and tell them you're saving up for better gear. Ask for these things as gifts from family and friends. Make sure you have a PC powerful enough to run the games you play at good frames while recording. Consider investing in a new processor because recording takes quite some processing power.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Eat and drink before you film.\", \"描述\": \"Don't Let's Play on an empty stomach, Eat well to stay healthy and nourished. Gurgling stomachs and a light head won't help the commentary.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making the Video with Commentary\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start by making a shorter video first.\", \"描述\": \"It's much simpler and quicker to do commentaries with short videos, and they are good for seeing how the community will react to your videos. It's also best for the beginner because you'll feel less intimidated about how much effort you need to put in.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a signature intro/outro.\", \"描述\": \"This means to have a professional looking video introduction. An introduction makes your video look much more professional. Even a simple fade in the beginning will be better than to start instantaneously. You will need a good program to help you make a decent introduction, such as Adobe After Effects. Windows Movie Maker may not be as useful for this but if it's all you have, give it a try.\\nSee the next step for suggestions on what to talk about in the intro.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Commentate away.\", \"描述\": \"Following your script prompts or bullet points, play the game part that you've chosen for the video commentating. Talk clearly into the microphone area and avoid coughing, sniffling, burping or any other distracting noises. Things you might commentate on include:\\n\\n: This should discuss why you're choosing this game/this game section/this gameplay and what you are hoping to show your viewers. Tell them what the aim of the Let's Play is at the outset, so that they can decide whether or not to keep watching. Do not leave the purpose of your video unknown until the end, as it'll just encourage the viewer to leave; be clear from the start.\\n: Talk about how you're playing the game, the tricks you've discovered, the hairy parts to avoid or manage well, the ways in which you use weaponry/skills/strategy, etc. to overcome obstacles/survive/obtain gems/win, etc. Discuss the strategies you've worked out for being successful.\\n: If you're good with mods, talk about how to add them, what they can do and how readers can find them or make their own. Realize that a lot of people would love to use mods but are unsure of what to do, so be reassuring and offer a link to the basic of mods in the text underneath your video.\\n. While you don't want to repeat the wheel every time, always remember that you'll have new viewers who are unfamiliar with what you already know. Even though some things may be basic, it is always kind to mention new viewers and direct them as to where to find help. For example: \\\"For those of you who are new to this, I'd suggest checking my link below to the basic tutorial, if you're unsure what to do.\\\" That'll take care of them without being rude and you don't have to go into copious detail and bore the more advanced viewers. Avoid derogatory terms such as noobs, as it just smacks of arrogance and will lose you viewers. Remember that new people can often bring fresh ideas and new ways of looking at things that might spark interesting future commentaries.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Refer to your subscribers as you comment on the game play.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to talk to your subscribers, not at them. By using your term for your subscribers often, they'll feel a part of the gaming. And every now and then, say the name of a specific subscriber. It's only natural to appreciate being singled out and spoken to directly; it feels special and such subscribers will keep coming back for more. Be generous with this!\\nFor example: \\\"Hey Simsters, I know some of you were keen to learn about how to make your Sims clean the toilet more often. Today I'll show you just how that works.\\\"\\nAnother example: \\\"Flesheatingflower, you wanted to know how to build a firepit in the middle of your house from morphing blocks. I am going to start out with just that today, so I hope it'll help you!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Enjoy your game play.\", \"描述\": \"It's only going to be a terrific video if you like to play. Play only when you want, play what you want, it's your decision.\\nConsider that you can be really subscriber-friendly by playing a custom map or story one of your subscribers suggest in the comments section.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Edit.\", \"描述\": \"Adding some text or a picture on some situations can help to make the video seem more exciting, spooky, fun or just generally more interesting. Don't edit too much though, unless the main purpose of the video is showing an edit. The raw gameplay is what people have come to see and hear about, so as long as you've got some good commentary and quality filming, you'll be all set.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Upload regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Aside from clear audio, another must in the YouTube business is uploading plenty of videos regularly. Determine how often you can edit videos. It should be at least 3 times a week but you should try for 2 videos a day or more if you are able to. Pre-recording plenty of videos and even setting up scheduled uploads will help with this.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying Attuned with Your Viewers and Future Success\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your video output regular and consistent.\", \"描述\": \"If you get popular, remember to actively do things for your subscribers. If you get, say, thousands or more subscribers, majority of them will expect a new video from you for once per week at least.\\nHave a certain rate of video making. At least once per week is good, but more often leads to happier subscribers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid saying such things as:\", \"描述\": \"\\\"Don't forget to subscribe!\\\" Reminding your viewers to subscribe, favorite a video, or like a video too often (and, sometimes, at all) will make it seem like you're desperate or will just sound so cliché that they stop listening. Just leave a link in the description of your video to your channel saying, \\\"Subscribe!\\\" Some people don't say anything at all and just let people do what they like, which when you think about it, is the coolest of all.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read the comments.\", \"描述\": \"Respond to the comments that ask questions and are polite. YouTube is known for its unfair share of rude, thoughtless and inconsiderate comments; ignore those. Respond to the comments that matter, the ones that are constructive and the ones that are polite, thoughtful and friendly. Those are the viewers you want to return and if you don't feed the trolls, you'll enjoy the experience a whole lot more.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider having a \\\"reader's questions\\\" commentary video every few weeks.\", \"描述\": \"This will allow you to address a range of questions that you might have gathered over the various weeks and makes for an excellent way to comment without having to think too much about the script yourself. Your viewers will love having their questions answered and you can make it a regular feature, with plenty of build-up to encourage them to ask questions for each such session.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try Livestream when you think you're ready for it.\", \"描述\": \"If you're popular in YouTube, set up a Livestream. Places like YouTube and Twitch.TV are simple and can give the audience real-time chatting about your video. Although, at this point you will really need to consider making someone you trust a moderator to keep the order in there, to make it more pleasurable to others, as the chat stream can easily get out of hand.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't like your voice? It's alright. Many people don't like their voice heard in a video. To others, it might sound great. Just remember to speak clearly and everything will go better.\\n\", \"Try to get people interested. You should use around fifteen seconds at the start of a video to capture the attention of your audience.\\n\", \"Set up a Twitter account and/or a Facebook account with your YouTube name (if you don't want to use your real name, which is probably likely) to give subscribers another way to keep in contact with you and get more info about your videos.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't copy others. That's just dull and makes you seem like an amateur.\\n\", \"If you have to go somewhere and you are popular, remember to tell it to your subscribers. If you do not tell them you will be gone for a moment, they may be surprised and wonder where you have gone. Plus, people will be excited and want to meet you if they are in that area!\\n\", \"Don't play when you have many other things to do. For example, you'll regret not making a 10-page essay on the night before it's supposed to be done before playing, leading to worse grades. Moreover, proof of you not studying will have been uploaded!\\n\", \"Don't try to make a video each day. It will only stress you out and make everyone expect you to do that always. If the quality drops, so will the viewers, so don't push it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,452 |
How to Be a Good Girl
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1. Starting with Yourself
1-1. Become your own best friend.
Don't treat yourself the way you wouldn't treat a friend. This means no more insulting yourself when you look in the mirror, setting harsh dieting rules, or beating yourself up when you make a mistake. If it would be mean to treat a friend that way, then stop treating yourself that way.
1-2. Wear what makes you comfortable.
Don't worry about trends or fashion "rules"—choose clothes that make look good and feel confident and comfortable. It's usually good to wear something you can move around in.
You don't need to wear makeup. If you decide to try it, start small and work your way up as desired.
Wear clothes that make you feel happy. Whether you love lace, rainbows, overalls, or poofy skirts, you should choose clothes that work for you.
Skimpy outfits can move around when you wear them, and it's no fun to be constantly monitoring your neckline or hem. Wear clothes that are comfortable to wear and carry so that you can have fun without worrying about whether your clothes are in place.
1-3. Take good care of your body.
Treat it with respect, and look after your health. Work fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and fruits into your diet. Get plenty of sleep and relaxation. Find ways to make exercise fun, like dancing, swimming, walks with loved ones, and backyard sports.
Focus less on what your body looks like, and more on what it can do.
Drinking, smoking, and drugs are very bad for you! Avoiding or quitting them will help you feel more energetic, positive, and alert.
Try to go to bed and wake up at around the same time each day. This will help your body get into a good rhythm. Ask your parents to remind you to go to bed if it helps.
1-4. Make the most out of your free time.
Your free time is precious, so use it for what matters most to you. Engage in your favorite hobbies, read good books, and hang out with people you love. To shake things up, make a list of all the things you'd like to try someday. Then start trying them.
TV is great for relaxing, but too much TV can leave you drained and tired. Balance your free time to include hobbies, family, and friends.
1-5. Celebrate your mind.
Just as you're growing physically and emotionally, you're also growing intellectually. Try reading books from different genres, from classics to science fiction. Try hobbies from arts and sciences. What is fun to you?
Look for articles online about topics that you enjoy.
Don't be afraid to try new things, even if you're not good at them yet. Remember, an expert has failed more times than a beginner has even tried.
1-6. Be mindful of your media exposure.
The media can have discouraging messages, such as hypersexuality, mean behavior, and rude and incorrect stereotypes. This is not healthy. Surround yourself with media that celebrates your values, and the type of person you want to be.
Look for media that supports your self-esteem, especially in fighting negative stereotypes. A girl who loves robots could watch TV with women in STEM, a girl who uses a wheelchair could read books about people with disabilities, and plus-size girls can look at pictures of stunning women of the same size. Remind yourself that people like you exist and have worth.
1-7. Let yourself struggle sometimes.
Even the kindest, most cheerful people have bad days sometimes. It's okay to feel sad, get a bad grade on a test, or lose your cool every once in a while. Being good does not mean you have to be perfect, and people will understand that.
If you feel down, try talking to someone about how you feel. You'll feel better, and they'll be glad they could help.
If you make a big mistake, talk about it. Apologize to anyone you hurt, and ask how you can make up for it. The mistake is less important than how you handle it.
1-8. Find inspiration for being good.
Maybe this means talking to a loved one who inspires you, going to a religious or volunteering group, reading a book that exemplifies your values, or even re-reading this article. When you feel lost or uncertain, it can remind you of your purpose and the way you want to live your life.
2. Being Good at Home
2-1. Respect and listen to your parent(s) or caregiver(s).
They have more life experience than you do, so they may be wiser than you realize. Ask them for advice, and value the things they tell you (even if you don't always agree). Think about how many good things they have done for you. Chances are, you'll never able to stop counting.
Parents aren't perfect, and sometimes they give bad advice and make bad decisions. Hear them out, and then explain your point of view as calmly as you can. Work together to figure out a good approach.
Don't accept a bad situation. Most parents are good (or at least decent), but some are mean or abusive. If things are bad at home, talk to another adult you trust. Try a teacher, school counselor, parent of a friend, clergy member, relative, or other adult who is a good listener. Talk to them about what's going on, and ask for help handling the situation.
2-2. Offer help at home
When you see your parents or siblings looking like they need help (struggling with packages, doing chores, etc.) say "Is there anything I can do to help you?" Open doors for them, help carry things... little things can make a big difference.
2-3. Learn helpful skills.
The next time you see your parents or older siblings doing chores, try asking them to show you how. The two of you can do it together. You'll practice and help out at home, and then you'll be good at it when you're an independent adult. Learn how to cook, do laundry, do housework, and other basic tasks. Help out your parents and anyone you see who could use a hand.
Offer to babysit for your neighbor's young children when they go out at night. Teens can traditionally make good money this way.
Try yard work like mowing your lawn, taking care of the plants, and weeding.
Try your hand at basic engineering tasks, such as auto repair, changing a flat tire, and fixing a leaky tap. Girls are better at engineering than most people realize!
Some parents are willing to set up an allowance in exchange for chores, or pay you for doing chores (e.g. $10 for mowing the lawn).
2-4. Keep your space clean
Clean your room and any messes that you make around the house. If you see messes that are not yours, you can still help clean them up. Sweep, vacuum, put away clutter and dirty clothes, and clean things like windows and mirrors.
Cleaning up other people's messes is nice, and optional. Don't feel obligated if you don't have the energy.
To keep your room clean, try to get rid of all the clutter first. Throw all of your dirty clothes and bedding into a hamper, toss all of your trash in the garbage, and walk around with a trash bag to get rid of any unnecessary and unwanted knick-knacks.
2-5. Be kind to your sibling(s)
Look for the things that you have in common, and have fun together. Speak politely to them (even when they annoy you!), and respect their boundaries—they'll probably do the same to you in return.
Let them have space when they need it.
If you can't handle your siblings right now, then don't. Say that you need some quiet time, and retreat to a quiet space. Your siblings should respect that, and if they don't, ask an adult for help.
3. Being Good at School
3-1. Be nice to your classmates and to your teacher.
Be respectful, kind, and helpful to everyone at school. This will make people like and respect you more.
3-2. Do your best to get good grades.
Study for all tests and quizzes, because they all count. Turn in your homework on time and pay attention in class. Participate in class for even more points towards your grade.
Teachers love it when you raise your hand in class, whether it's to give an answer or ask a question. If you give a wrong answer, it's okay.
You don't need to get perfect grades, or to work so hard that you get really stressed. Instead of putting in 110% effort all the time, put in a very good effort most of the time. Stressing out too much about school is bad for your health, and you should talk with a doctor if it's becoming a problem.
3-3. Do your homework every night
Do your homework promptly every night and do the best job that you can on it. This will give you better grades, and it will also help you become more disciplined and responsible.
You may feel a lot better with your homework already started, or already finished. It's easier to have fun when you know that you've gotten some good work done.
3-4. Break up your studying time.
Cramming for three hours straight isn't good for your health, and you won't learn as much. Start working early to make it easy on yourself. Then you can take lots of study breaks and feel less pressured.
Don't stay up late studying before a test. You need your brain to be fresh and alert, so get plenty of sleep in order to prepare.
3-5. Be respectful during class
Look at the teacher, face front, and focus on note-taking and listening.
Don't chat, text, pass notes, or use your phone in class. These are disrespectful to your teacher and your peers who are trying to learn.
If you have a disability that causes you to fidget or appear inattentive to non-disabled people, let your teacher know. Find ways to accommodate your needs so you can focus.
3-6. Ask for help
Learn to ask politely for help if you are struggling in your classes. Most people love to give advice and be helpful, and your teachers want to see you succeed. Explain that you're struggling and ask for help. Their advice can help you, and they'll respect you more for it. Here are examples of ways to ask for help:
"I'm really struggling with this one project. Could you help me?"
"I did my best, but I didn't understand everything in class yesterday. Is there anything online that could help me learn the material a little better?"
"I don't understand what this homework problem is asking. Could you explain it to me, please?"
"I'm stressing out so much about school that it's hard to sleep, and I get bad headaches. I think I have a problem with anxiety, and I want to see a doctor. I need help."
4. Being Good with Other People
4-1. Be kind to other people.
Remember the platinum rule: treat others the way they would like to be treated. This means being respectful and considerate.
As a general rule, don't say something behind someone's back that you wouldn't feel comfortable saying in their presence.
4-2. Be clear when you want something.
It's normal to have wants and needs, so be assertive and ask for things. Use "I" statements like "I would like...", "I think...", or "When you ____, I..."
Being passive might feel kinder, but it isn't. Hinting or beating around the bush will only confuse or frustrate people.
4-3. Learn to be a great listener.
Listening and validating people's feelings are tremendously useful skills. This means treating them like what they say and how they feel is important (even if you don't agree with them). People will feel much better and start opening up to you if you do this.
Most people don't want you to swoop in with advice. Instead, they first need someone to listen and help them work through their feelings. Once they've processed their feelings, then they may be ready to address their problems.
4-4. Practice random acts of kindness.
Whether it's small like holding a door for someone, or big like creating a picture book for your little brother, random acts of kindness are a great way to be and feel good. Look for opportunities to make people smile.
4-5. Say your kind thoughts out loud.
If you think your friend's shirt is awesome, let him know. If your sister made a really cool science project, tell her how much you like it. Even a random compliment from a stranger can brighten someone's day.
Sometimes it's a bad time—for example, you wouldn't stand up in the middle of a concert and shout "I love your singing!" You can wait until a good moment (e.g. after the concert), or tell other people about your thought. People always feel happy when they learn you've been saying good things about them behind their back.
4-6. Look for the best in everyone.
Everybody has positive traits, so look for them in each new person you meet. Treat them with the assumption that they are well-meaning and intelligent in their own way. They may just rise to meet your expectations.
Keep doing this, and you will be a ray of sunshine that inspires others to be their best.
A few people are mean and rude no matter what you do. Keep a safe distance from these people, and continue being positive. It may rub off on them, or it may not.
4-7. Treat everyone with respect, including those who are different from you.
It can be tempting to write people off as "weird," "stupid," or "stuck up." Don't. Everyone has a story, and is struggling in a way that you might not notice. Treat everyone like they are good at heart.
Be respectful to everyone, including the people you don't like. They may warm up to you.
4-8. Be polite.
Courtesy will show others that you are considerate and mature. Use the phrases "please", "thank you", and "may I". Let other people go first. Get a book on everyday etiquette, or ask someone who appears to be particularly knowledgeable on it.
4-9. Practice patience when you don't understand.
People may say things that don't make sense to you—but they probably have a good reason. Instead of giving up or getting mad at them, ask questions. This works in a variety of perplexing situations, from a person who is acting strange to someone who is being mean.
"That's interesting. Why would you say/ask/do that?"
"I don't understand. Could you explain it?"
"I'm surprised that an educated and considerate person like you would stereotype transgender people like that." (Compliments can defuse rude behavior.)
4-10. Leave or defuse the situation if there's an argument.
Nobody can truly "win" an argument. Calm yourself down, or excuse yourself if you don't think you can handle it calmly. You can always continue the discussion later when you have a cooler head.
"I need to take a break."
"I don't know how to respond to that."
"I'm so upset, I don't know how to handle this. I'm going to take some quiet time."
4-11. Surround yourself with people who make you feel happy.
You won't get along perfectly with everyone, and that's okay. Spend your time and energy on the people who build you up and make you feel good. They can help you feel happy and remind you of the person you want to be.
You're allowed not to be best friends with everyone. If you feel upset when you're around someone, be polite to them, and focus your attention elsewhere.
4-12. Be mindful about your romantic relationships.
A good girl doesn't rush into romance, and makes sure that she is ready before trying something new. Communicate with your partner, and talk about kissing and intimate touching before you do them.
Learn how to say no. An "I don't want to," "Not tonight," "I'm not ready for that," or just plain "no" makes it clear to your partner how you feel.
Learn to recognize danger signals. Some people are disrespectful: they push your boundaries, laugh off your discomfort or worries, or trash-talk other people. Steer clear of them.
4-13. Show people how much you appreciate them.
When someone does something kind for you, let them know you're grateful with a simple smile or "Thanks!" Give them a hug or some kind words sometimes, so they know how much you care.
Warnings
Don't try to flatter people in school/workplace. Any compliments you give should be genuine, not tools for getting what you want.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Starting with Yourself\\n1-1. Become your own best friend.\\nDon't treat yourself the way you wouldn't treat a friend. This means no more insulting yourself when you look in the mirror, setting harsh dieting rules, or beating yourself up when you make a mistake. If it would be mean to treat a friend that way, then stop treating yourself that way.\\n1-2. Wear what makes you comfortable.\\nDon't worry about trends or fashion \\\"rules\\\"—choose clothes that make look good and feel confident and comfortable. It's usually good to wear something you can move around in. \\nYou don't need to wear makeup. If you decide to try it, start small and work your way up as desired.\\nWear clothes that make you feel happy. Whether you love lace, rainbows, overalls, or poofy skirts, you should choose clothes that work for you.\\nSkimpy outfits can move around when you wear them, and it's no fun to be constantly monitoring your neckline or hem. Wear clothes that are comfortable to wear and carry so that you can have fun without worrying about whether your clothes are in place.\\n1-3. Take good care of your body.\\nTreat it with respect, and look after your health. Work fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and fruits into your diet. Get plenty of sleep and relaxation. Find ways to make exercise fun, like dancing, swimming, walks with loved ones, and backyard sports.\\nFocus less on what your body looks like, and more on what it can do.\\nDrinking, smoking, and drugs are very bad for you! Avoiding or quitting them will help you feel more energetic, positive, and alert.\\nTry to go to bed and wake up at around the same time each day. This will help your body get into a good rhythm. Ask your parents to remind you to go to bed if it helps.\\n1-4. Make the most out of your free time.\\nYour free time is precious, so use it for what matters most to you. Engage in your favorite hobbies, read good books, and hang out with people you love. To shake things up, make a list of all the things you'd like to try someday. Then start trying them. \\nTV is great for relaxing, but too much TV can leave you drained and tired. Balance your free time to include hobbies, family, and friends.\\n1-5. Celebrate your mind.\\nJust as you're growing physically and emotionally, you're also growing intellectually. Try reading books from different genres, from classics to science fiction. Try hobbies from arts and sciences. What is fun to you? \\nLook for articles online about topics that you enjoy.\\nDon't be afraid to try new things, even if you're not good at them yet. Remember, an expert has failed more times than a beginner has even tried.\\n1-6. Be mindful of your media exposure.\\nThe media can have discouraging messages, such as hypersexuality, mean behavior, and rude and incorrect stereotypes. This is not healthy. Surround yourself with media that celebrates your values, and the type of person you want to be. \\nLook for media that supports your self-esteem, especially in fighting negative stereotypes. A girl who loves robots could watch TV with women in STEM, a girl who uses a wheelchair could read books about people with disabilities, and plus-size girls can look at pictures of stunning women of the same size. Remind yourself that people like you exist and have worth.\\n1-7. Let yourself struggle sometimes.\\nEven the kindest, most cheerful people have bad days sometimes. It's okay to feel sad, get a bad grade on a test, or lose your cool every once in a while. Being good does not mean you have to be perfect, and people will understand that. \\nIf you feel down, try talking to someone about how you feel. You'll feel better, and they'll be glad they could help.\\nIf you make a big mistake, talk about it. Apologize to anyone you hurt, and ask how you can make up for it. The mistake is less important than how you handle it.\\n1-8. Find inspiration for being good.\\nMaybe this means talking to a loved one who inspires you, going to a religious or volunteering group, reading a book that exemplifies your values, or even re-reading this article. When you feel lost or uncertain, it can remind you of your purpose and the way you want to live your life.\\n2. Being Good at Home\\n2-1. Respect and listen to your parent(s) or caregiver(s).\\nThey have more life experience than you do, so they may be wiser than you realize. Ask them for advice, and value the things they tell you (even if you don't always agree). Think about how many good things they have done for you. Chances are, you'll never able to stop counting.\\nParents aren't perfect, and sometimes they give bad advice and make bad decisions. Hear them out, and then explain your point of view as calmly as you can. Work together to figure out a good approach.\\nDon't accept a bad situation. Most parents are good (or at least decent), but some are mean or abusive. If things are bad at home, talk to another adult you trust. Try a teacher, school counselor, parent of a friend, clergy member, relative, or other adult who is a good listener. Talk to them about what's going on, and ask for help handling the situation.\\n2-2. Offer help at home\\nWhen you see your parents or siblings looking like they need help (struggling with packages, doing chores, etc.) say \\\"Is there anything I can do to help you?\\\" Open doors for them, help carry things... little things can make a big difference.\\n2-3. Learn helpful skills.\\nThe next time you see your parents or older siblings doing chores, try asking them to show you how. The two of you can do it together. You'll practice and help out at home, and then you'll be good at it when you're an independent adult. Learn how to cook, do laundry, do housework, and other basic tasks. Help out your parents and anyone you see who could use a hand. \\nOffer to babysit for your neighbor's young children when they go out at night. Teens can traditionally make good money this way.\\nTry yard work like mowing your lawn, taking care of the plants, and weeding.\\nTry your hand at basic engineering tasks, such as auto repair, changing a flat tire, and fixing a leaky tap. Girls are better at engineering than most people realize!\\nSome parents are willing to set up an allowance in exchange for chores, or pay you for doing chores (e.g. $10 for mowing the lawn).\\n2-4. Keep your space clean\\nClean your room and any messes that you make around the house. If you see messes that are not yours, you can still help clean them up. Sweep, vacuum, put away clutter and dirty clothes, and clean things like windows and mirrors. \\nCleaning up other people's messes is nice, and optional. Don't feel obligated if you don't have the energy.\\nTo keep your room clean, try to get rid of all the clutter first. Throw all of your dirty clothes and bedding into a hamper, toss all of your trash in the garbage, and walk around with a trash bag to get rid of any unnecessary and unwanted knick-knacks.\\n2-5. Be kind to your sibling(s)\\nLook for the things that you have in common, and have fun together. Speak politely to them (even when they annoy you!), and respect their boundaries—they'll probably do the same to you in return. \\nLet them have space when they need it.\\nIf you can't handle your siblings right now, then don't. Say that you need some quiet time, and retreat to a quiet space. Your siblings should respect that, and if they don't, ask an adult for help.\\n3. Being Good at School\\n3-1. Be nice to your classmates and to your teacher.\\nBe respectful, kind, and helpful to everyone at school. This will make people like and respect you more.\\n3-2. Do your best to get good grades.\\nStudy for all tests and quizzes, because they all count. Turn in your homework on time and pay attention in class. Participate in class for even more points towards your grade.\\nTeachers love it when you raise your hand in class, whether it's to give an answer or ask a question. If you give a wrong answer, it's okay.\\nYou don't need to get perfect grades, or to work so hard that you get really stressed. Instead of putting in 110% effort all the time, put in a very good effort most of the time. Stressing out too much about school is bad for your health, and you should talk with a doctor if it's becoming a problem.\\n3-3. Do your homework every night\\nDo your homework promptly every night and do the best job that you can on it. This will give you better grades, and it will also help you become more disciplined and responsible. \\nYou may feel a lot better with your homework already started, or already finished. It's easier to have fun when you know that you've gotten some good work done.\\n3-4. Break up your studying time.\\nCramming for three hours straight isn't good for your health, and you won't learn as much. Start working early to make it easy on yourself. Then you can take lots of study breaks and feel less pressured. \\nDon't stay up late studying before a test. You need your brain to be fresh and alert, so get plenty of sleep in order to prepare.\\n3-5. Be respectful during class\\nLook at the teacher, face front, and focus on note-taking and listening. \\nDon't chat, text, pass notes, or use your phone in class. These are disrespectful to your teacher and your peers who are trying to learn.\\nIf you have a disability that causes you to fidget or appear inattentive to non-disabled people, let your teacher know. Find ways to accommodate your needs so you can focus.\\n3-6. Ask for help\\nLearn to ask politely for help if you are struggling in your classes. Most people love to give advice and be helpful, and your teachers want to see you succeed. Explain that you're struggling and ask for help. Their advice can help you, and they'll respect you more for it. Here are examples of ways to ask for help:\\n\\\"I'm really struggling with this one project. Could you help me?\\\"\\n\\\"I did my best, but I didn't understand everything in class yesterday. Is there anything online that could help me learn the material a little better?\\\"\\n\\\"I don't understand what this homework problem is asking. Could you explain it to me, please?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm stressing out so much about school that it's hard to sleep, and I get bad headaches. I think I have a problem with anxiety, and I want to see a doctor. I need help.\\\"\\n4. Being Good with Other People\\n4-1. Be kind to other people.\\nRemember the platinum rule: treat others the way they would like to be treated. This means being respectful and considerate. \\nAs a general rule, don't say something behind someone's back that you wouldn't feel comfortable saying in their presence.\\n4-2. Be clear when you want something.\\nIt's normal to have wants and needs, so be assertive and ask for things. Use \\\"I\\\" statements like \\\"I would like...\\\", \\\"I think...\\\", or \\\"When you ____, I...\\\" \\nBeing passive might feel kinder, but it isn't. Hinting or beating around the bush will only confuse or frustrate people.\\n4-3. Learn to be a great listener.\\nListening and validating people's feelings are tremendously useful skills. This means treating them like what they say and how they feel is important (even if you don't agree with them). People will feel much better and start opening up to you if you do this. \\nMost people don't want you to swoop in with advice. Instead, they first need someone to listen and help them work through their feelings. Once they've processed their feelings, then they may be ready to address their problems.\\n4-4. Practice random acts of kindness.\\nWhether it's small like holding a door for someone, or big like creating a picture book for your little brother, random acts of kindness are a great way to be and feel good. Look for opportunities to make people smile.\\n4-5. Say your kind thoughts out loud.\\nIf you think your friend's shirt is awesome, let him know. If your sister made a really cool science project, tell her how much you like it. Even a random compliment from a stranger can brighten someone's day. \\nSometimes it's a bad time—for example, you wouldn't stand up in the middle of a concert and shout \\\"I love your singing!\\\" You can wait until a good moment (e.g. after the concert), or tell other people about your thought. People always feel happy when they learn you've been saying good things about them behind their back.\\n4-6. Look for the best in everyone.\\nEverybody has positive traits, so look for them in each new person you meet. Treat them with the assumption that they are well-meaning and intelligent in their own way. They may just rise to meet your expectations. \\nKeep doing this, and you will be a ray of sunshine that inspires others to be their best.\\nA few people are mean and rude no matter what you do. Keep a safe distance from these people, and continue being positive. It may rub off on them, or it may not.\\n4-7. Treat everyone with respect, including those who are different from you.\\nIt can be tempting to write people off as \\\"weird,\\\" \\\"stupid,\\\" or \\\"stuck up.\\\" Don't. Everyone has a story, and is struggling in a way that you might not notice. Treat everyone like they are good at heart. \\nBe respectful to everyone, including the people you don't like. They may warm up to you.\\n4-8. Be polite.\\nCourtesy will show others that you are considerate and mature. Use the phrases \\\"please\\\", \\\"thank you\\\", and \\\"may I\\\". Let other people go first. Get a book on everyday etiquette, or ask someone who appears to be particularly knowledgeable on it.\\n4-9. Practice patience when you don't understand.\\nPeople may say things that don't make sense to you—but they probably have a good reason. Instead of giving up or getting mad at them, ask questions. This works in a variety of perplexing situations, from a person who is acting strange to someone who is being mean. \\n\\\"That's interesting. Why would you say/ask/do that?\\\"\\n\\\"I don't understand. Could you explain it?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm surprised that an educated and considerate person like you would stereotype transgender people like that.\\\" (Compliments can defuse rude behavior.)\\n4-10. Leave or defuse the situation if there's an argument.\\nNobody can truly \\\"win\\\" an argument. Calm yourself down, or excuse yourself if you don't think you can handle it calmly. You can always continue the discussion later when you have a cooler head. \\n\\\"I need to take a break.\\\"\\n\\\"I don't know how to respond to that.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm so upset, I don't know how to handle this. I'm going to take some quiet time.\\\"\\n4-11. Surround yourself with people who make you feel happy.\\nYou won't get along perfectly with everyone, and that's okay. Spend your time and energy on the people who build you up and make you feel good. They can help you feel happy and remind you of the person you want to be. \\nYou're allowed not to be best friends with everyone. If you feel upset when you're around someone, be polite to them, and focus your attention elsewhere.\\n4-12. Be mindful about your romantic relationships.\\nA good girl doesn't rush into romance, and makes sure that she is ready before trying something new. Communicate with your partner, and talk about kissing and intimate touching before you do them. \\nLearn how to say no. An \\\"I don't want to,\\\" \\\"Not tonight,\\\" \\\"I'm not ready for that,\\\" or just plain \\\"no\\\" makes it clear to your partner how you feel.\\nLearn to recognize danger signals. Some people are disrespectful: they push your boundaries, laugh off your discomfort or worries, or trash-talk other people. Steer clear of them.\\n4-13. Show people how much you appreciate them.\\nWhen someone does something kind for you, let them know you're grateful with a simple smile or \\\"Thanks!\\\" Give them a hug or some kind words sometimes, so they know how much you care.\\nWarnings\\nDon't try to flatter people in school/workplace. Any compliments you give should be genuine, not tools for getting what you want.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Your teenage years may be the most challenging and formative times in your life. It’s important during this time that you develop good habits and a healthy mentality. By becoming a good girl, you can have an easier home and school life while bringing out your best self.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Starting with Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Become your own best friend.\", \"描述\": \"Don't treat yourself the way you wouldn't treat a friend. This means no more insulting yourself when you look in the mirror, setting harsh dieting rules, or beating yourself up when you make a mistake. If it would be mean to treat a friend that way, then stop treating yourself that way.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear what makes you comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"Don't worry about trends or fashion \\\"rules\\\"—choose clothes that make look good and feel confident and comfortable. It's usually good to wear something you can move around in. \\nYou don't need to wear makeup. If you decide to try it, start small and work your way up as desired.\\nWear clothes that make you feel happy. Whether you love lace, rainbows, overalls, or poofy skirts, you should choose clothes that work for you.\\nSkimpy outfits can move around when you wear them, and it's no fun to be constantly monitoring your neckline or hem. Wear clothes that are comfortable to wear and carry so that you can have fun without worrying about whether your clothes are in place.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take good care of your body.\", \"描述\": \"Treat it with respect, and look after your health. Work fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and fruits into your diet. Get plenty of sleep and relaxation. Find ways to make exercise fun, like dancing, swimming, walks with loved ones, and backyard sports.\\nFocus less on what your body looks like, and more on what it can do.\\nDrinking, smoking, and drugs are very bad for you! Avoiding or quitting them will help you feel more energetic, positive, and alert.\\nTry to go to bed and wake up at around the same time each day. This will help your body get into a good rhythm. Ask your parents to remind you to go to bed if it helps.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make the most out of your free time.\", \"描述\": \"Your free time is precious, so use it for what matters most to you. Engage in your favorite hobbies, read good books, and hang out with people you love. To shake things up, make a list of all the things you'd like to try someday. Then start trying them. \\nTV is great for relaxing, but too much TV can leave you drained and tired. Balance your free time to include hobbies, family, and friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Celebrate your mind.\", \"描述\": \"Just as you're growing physically and emotionally, you're also growing intellectually. Try reading books from different genres, from classics to science fiction. Try hobbies from arts and sciences. What is fun to you? \\nLook for articles online about topics that you enjoy.\\nDon't be afraid to try new things, even if you're not good at them yet. Remember, an expert has failed more times than a beginner has even tried.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be mindful of your media exposure.\", \"描述\": \"The media can have discouraging messages, such as hypersexuality, mean behavior, and rude and incorrect stereotypes. This is not healthy. Surround yourself with media that celebrates your values, and the type of person you want to be. \\nLook for media that supports your self-esteem, especially in fighting negative stereotypes. A girl who loves robots could watch TV with women in STEM, a girl who uses a wheelchair could read books about people with disabilities, and plus-size girls can look at pictures of stunning women of the same size. Remind yourself that people like you exist and have worth.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Let yourself struggle sometimes.\", \"描述\": \"Even the kindest, most cheerful people have bad days sometimes. It's okay to feel sad, get a bad grade on a test, or lose your cool every once in a while. Being good does not mean you have to be perfect, and people will understand that. \\nIf you feel down, try talking to someone about how you feel. You'll feel better, and they'll be glad they could help.\\nIf you make a big mistake, talk about it. Apologize to anyone you hurt, and ask how you can make up for it. The mistake is less important than how you handle it.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Find inspiration for being good.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe this means talking to a loved one who inspires you, going to a religious or volunteering group, reading a book that exemplifies your values, or even re-reading this article. When you feel lost or uncertain, it can remind you of your purpose and the way you want to live your life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Good at Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respect and listen to your parent(s) or caregiver(s).\", \"描述\": \"They have more life experience than you do, so they may be wiser than you realize. Ask them for advice, and value the things they tell you (even if you don't always agree). Think about how many good things they have done for you. Chances are, you'll never able to stop counting.\\nParents aren't perfect, and sometimes they give bad advice and make bad decisions. Hear them out, and then explain your point of view as calmly as you can. Work together to figure out a good approach.\\nDon't accept a bad situation. Most parents are good (or at least decent), but some are mean or abusive. If things are bad at home, talk to another adult you trust. Try a teacher, school counselor, parent of a friend, clergy member, relative, or other adult who is a good listener. Talk to them about what's going on, and ask for help handling the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer help at home\", \"描述\": \"When you see your parents or siblings looking like they need help (struggling with packages, doing chores, etc.) say \\\"Is there anything I can do to help you?\\\" Open doors for them, help carry things... little things can make a big difference.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn helpful skills.\", \"描述\": \"The next time you see your parents or older siblings doing chores, try asking them to show you how. The two of you can do it together. You'll practice and help out at home, and then you'll be good at it when you're an independent adult. Learn how to cook, do laundry, do housework, and other basic tasks. Help out your parents and anyone you see who could use a hand. \\nOffer to babysit for your neighbor's young children when they go out at night. Teens can traditionally make good money this way.\\nTry yard work like mowing your lawn, taking care of the plants, and weeding.\\nTry your hand at basic engineering tasks, such as auto repair, changing a flat tire, and fixing a leaky tap. Girls are better at engineering than most people realize!\\nSome parents are willing to set up an allowance in exchange for chores, or pay you for doing chores (e.g. $10 for mowing the lawn).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your space clean\", \"描述\": \"Clean your room and any messes that you make around the house. If you see messes that are not yours, you can still help clean them up. Sweep, vacuum, put away clutter and dirty clothes, and clean things like windows and mirrors. \\nCleaning up other people's messes is nice, and optional. Don't feel obligated if you don't have the energy.\\nTo keep your room clean, try to get rid of all the clutter first. Throw all of your dirty clothes and bedding into a hamper, toss all of your trash in the garbage, and walk around with a trash bag to get rid of any unnecessary and unwanted knick-knacks.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be kind to your sibling(s)\", \"描述\": \"Look for the things that you have in common, and have fun together. Speak politely to them (even when they annoy you!), and respect their boundaries—they'll probably do the same to you in return. \\nLet them have space when they need it.\\nIf you can't handle your siblings right now, then don't. Say that you need some quiet time, and retreat to a quiet space. Your siblings should respect that, and if they don't, ask an adult for help.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Good at School\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be nice to your classmates and to your teacher.\", \"描述\": \"Be respectful, kind, and helpful to everyone at school. This will make people like and respect you more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do your best to get good grades.\", \"描述\": \"Study for all tests and quizzes, because they all count. Turn in your homework on time and pay attention in class. Participate in class for even more points towards your grade.\\nTeachers love it when you raise your hand in class, whether it's to give an answer or ask a question. If you give a wrong answer, it's okay.\\nYou don't need to get perfect grades, or to work so hard that you get really stressed. Instead of putting in 110% effort all the time, put in a very good effort most of the time. Stressing out too much about school is bad for your health, and you should talk with a doctor if it's becoming a problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do your homework every night\", \"描述\": \"Do your homework promptly every night and do the best job that you can on it. This will give you better grades, and it will also help you become more disciplined and responsible. \\nYou may feel a lot better with your homework already started, or already finished. It's easier to have fun when you know that you've gotten some good work done.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Break up your studying time.\", \"描述\": \"Cramming for three hours straight isn't good for your health, and you won't learn as much. Start working early to make it easy on yourself. Then you can take lots of study breaks and feel less pressured. \\nDon't stay up late studying before a test. You need your brain to be fresh and alert, so get plenty of sleep in order to prepare.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be respectful during class\", \"描述\": \"Look at the teacher, face front, and focus on note-taking and listening. \\nDon't chat, text, pass notes, or use your phone in class. These are disrespectful to your teacher and your peers who are trying to learn.\\nIf you have a disability that causes you to fidget or appear inattentive to non-disabled people, let your teacher know. Find ways to accommodate your needs so you can focus.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask for help\", \"描述\": \"Learn to ask politely for help if you are struggling in your classes. Most people love to give advice and be helpful, and your teachers want to see you succeed. Explain that you're struggling and ask for help. Their advice can help you, and they'll respect you more for it. Here are examples of ways to ask for help:\\n\\\"I'm really struggling with this one project. Could you help me?\\\"\\n\\\"I did my best, but I didn't understand everything in class yesterday. Is there anything online that could help me learn the material a little better?\\\"\\n\\\"I don't understand what this homework problem is asking. Could you explain it to me, please?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm stressing out so much about school that it's hard to sleep, and I get bad headaches. I think I have a problem with anxiety, and I want to see a doctor. I need help.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being Good with Other People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be kind to other people.\", \"描述\": \"Remember the platinum rule: treat others the way they would like to be treated. This means being respectful and considerate. \\nAs a general rule, don't say something behind someone's back that you wouldn't feel comfortable saying in their presence.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be clear when you want something.\", \"描述\": \"It's normal to have wants and needs, so be assertive and ask for things. Use \\\"I\\\" statements like \\\"I would like...\\\", \\\"I think...\\\", or \\\"When you ____, I...\\\" \\nBeing passive might feel kinder, but it isn't. Hinting or beating around the bush will only confuse or frustrate people.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to be a great listener.\", \"描述\": \"Listening and validating people's feelings are tremendously useful skills. This means treating them like what they say and how they feel is important (even if you don't agree with them). People will feel much better and start opening up to you if you do this. \\nMost people don't want you to swoop in with advice. Instead, they first need someone to listen and help them work through their feelings. Once they've processed their feelings, then they may be ready to address their problems.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice random acts of kindness.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it's small like holding a door for someone, or big like creating a picture book for your little brother, random acts of kindness are a great way to be and feel good. Look for opportunities to make people smile.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Say your kind thoughts out loud.\", \"描述\": \"If you think your friend's shirt is awesome, let him know. If your sister made a really cool science project, tell her how much you like it. Even a random compliment from a stranger can brighten someone's day. \\nSometimes it's a bad time—for example, you wouldn't stand up in the middle of a concert and shout \\\"I love your singing!\\\" You can wait until a good moment (e.g. after the concert), or tell other people about your thought. People always feel happy when they learn you've been saying good things about them behind their back.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look for the best in everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Everybody has positive traits, so look for them in each new person you meet. Treat them with the assumption that they are well-meaning and intelligent in their own way. They may just rise to meet your expectations. \\nKeep doing this, and you will be a ray of sunshine that inspires others to be their best.\\nA few people are mean and rude no matter what you do. Keep a safe distance from these people, and continue being positive. It may rub off on them, or it may not.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Treat everyone with respect, including those who are different from you.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tempting to write people off as \\\"weird,\\\" \\\"stupid,\\\" or \\\"stuck up.\\\" Don't. Everyone has a story, and is struggling in a way that you might not notice. Treat everyone like they are good at heart. \\nBe respectful to everyone, including the people you don't like. They may warm up to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be polite.\", \"描述\": \"Courtesy will show others that you are considerate and mature. Use the phrases \\\"please\\\", \\\"thank you\\\", and \\\"may I\\\". Let other people go first. Get a book on everyday etiquette, or ask someone who appears to be particularly knowledgeable on it.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Practice patience when you don't understand.\", \"描述\": \"People may say things that don't make sense to you—but they probably have a good reason. Instead of giving up or getting mad at them, ask questions. This works in a variety of perplexing situations, from a person who is acting strange to someone who is being mean. \\n\\\"That's interesting. Why would you say/ask/do that?\\\"\\n\\\"I don't understand. Could you explain it?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm surprised that an educated and considerate person like you would stereotype transgender people like that.\\\" (Compliments can defuse rude behavior.)\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Leave or defuse the situation if there's an argument.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody can truly \\\"win\\\" an argument. Calm yourself down, or excuse yourself if you don't think you can handle it calmly. You can always continue the discussion later when you have a cooler head. \\n\\\"I need to take a break.\\\"\\n\\\"I don't know how to respond to that.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm so upset, I don't know how to handle this. I'm going to take some quiet time.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with people who make you feel happy.\", \"描述\": \"You won't get along perfectly with everyone, and that's okay. Spend your time and energy on the people who build you up and make you feel good. They can help you feel happy and remind you of the person you want to be. \\nYou're allowed not to be best friends with everyone. If you feel upset when you're around someone, be polite to them, and focus your attention elsewhere.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Be mindful about your romantic relationships.\", \"描述\": \"A good girl doesn't rush into romance, and makes sure that she is ready before trying something new. Communicate with your partner, and talk about kissing and intimate touching before you do them. \\nLearn how to say no. An \\\"I don't want to,\\\" \\\"Not tonight,\\\" \\\"I'm not ready for that,\\\" or just plain \\\"no\\\" makes it clear to your partner how you feel.\\nLearn to recognize danger signals. Some people are disrespectful: they push your boundaries, laugh off your discomfort or worries, or trash-talk other people. Steer clear of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Show people how much you appreciate them.\", \"描述\": \"When someone does something kind for you, let them know you're grateful with a simple smile or \\\"Thanks!\\\" Give them a hug or some kind words sometimes, so they know how much you care.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't try to flatter people in school/workplace. Any compliments you give should be genuine, not tools for getting what you want.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
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wikihow
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4,453 |
How to Be a Good Girlfriend
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1. Being Loving
1-1. Be affectionate
There are various ways to show your affection; some are more obvious than others and the way you approach this will depend on how openly affectionate you like to be personally. Affection is close to but not the same as intimacy––affection is about openly displaying that you care about this person and can be shown any time of day or night, publicly or privately. Think about how you like to show affection to people you care about, such as holding hands, touching an arm, quick kisses on the cheek, a hug, stroking hair, supportive words, mentioning how great someone is in front of other people, etc.
Pet names like "Baby" or "Sweetheart" are a cute way to show your affection for your partner. Try not to overdo this, however. It can be a major turn-off if you call them "Mr. Cuddle-Bear", especially in public. Of all things, good communication is the vital part of any relationship, so make sure that they know how much you like them.
Regular lovey-dovey texts and emails can be a plus, but too many will become overwhelming and you may seem clingy. These types of things do show you're into them, and you want it to last forever, but don't come on so much that you scare them!
1-2. Be seductive.
Don't be afraid to be seductive. Most people find it irresistible when a girl is sexy, classy and confident. Confidence means being happy within your own skin; you will exude this without trying if you are accepting of yourself and feel secure about your own worth. You don't have to force yourself to be the most popular, bubbly personality if that isn't your style; rather, be the best you on show by taking good care of yourself and trusting that you're worth their attention.
1-3. Give them gifts.
When you're in a relationship, it's fun to give each other small gifts. Everyone loves to get presents and giving them one shows that they mean a lot to you. Don't overdo it -- just give them a gift when you're feeling loving and want to let them know how much they mean to you. You don't want them to think you're trying to buy their affection.
Make them something by hand. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so that whenever they look at it, they'll think of you and smile. If you're the musical type, or play an instrument, feel free to play them a song or two (bonus points if you play a song you wrote yourself). Add a private video of your song to YouTube.
1-4. Don't get jealous.
You should be loving, but not to the point where you start seeing red the second your partner talks to, or even just mentions, another girl. Nothing will turn your significant other off faster than a girlfriend who is so insecure that she can't stand the thought of other women existing in the universe. Your partner will appreciate you even more if you're nice to their female friends instead of talking about how ugly or annoying any girl you see is.
If they're out with their friends, don't text them every two seconds to make sure they're not talking to other girls. This will only make your partner see how little you trust them.
2. Being Supportive
2-1. Take an interest in their interests.
Remember what they like to do and what they like to talk about. You don't have to act like you love their hobbies, but at least try to understand why they're such a fan. If they love a band, try to understand why. If they just love to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be their way of releasing stress. In learning to accept their unique way of being, you'll also be learning more about yourself and ultimately whether you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person.
You don't have to take an interest in all of their interests. If they enjoy watching baseball but you just can't get into it, that's fine, too.
Just asking about their interests and talking about the things that matter to them can be enough.
2-2. Learn to work as a team.
As in any healthy relationship, you'll experience your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back. In a team, you have each other's back, you don't undermine one another and you openly cherish each other in front of others.
In times of hardship, a team approach can help you to work through problems in a less emotionally attached way, in that both of you assume responsibilities for fixing things rather than expecting one or the other to fix things.
Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.
2-3. Compliment them more than you criticize them.
If everything you say around them is a criticism or an attack, they won't look forward to seeing you and they'll start reconsidering being with you. All the same, you don't always have to agree with them just because they are your partner. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships and establishing boundaries and making compromises are important relationship strategies to learn and adopt.
Though you can bring up a valid criticism when it feels right, you should say at least four positive things about them for every negative thing you say.
Don't nag them just because you're in a bad mood or things aren't going perfectly.
2-4. Learn to compromise.
If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to learn to compromise instead of fighting or being angry the second you don't get your way. To compromise well, you both have to be able to calmly and rationally discuss a situation while understanding the other person's perspective. Try to understand where your significant other is coming from instead of blindly focusing on what you think you need.
You don't want to be that girl who always gets her way just because your partner would rather give in than stand their ground because you get so angry and upset whenever things don't go your way.
2-5. Give each other space
You should support your partner, but you should also be able to "be there" for them in spirit when you're not actually around. If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to make time to do your own thing, to hang out with your girlfriends, and to see your partner. They should know that you're thinking of them and rooting for them even if you're not around. If you feel insecure and doubt the strength of your relationship the second you're apart, then you have a problem.
You should support your partner if they just want to have a night out with their friends instead of trying to intrude. It's important to allow your significant other to have time to spend with their friends and hang out without you.
If you feel entitled to all of their time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Don't be an overly protective girlfriend; let them go out without them feeling watched.
Remember that they don't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When they need some space, don't take it personally–recognize it for what it is–their time to rejuvenate and to share different interests with others. But do make sure they know that you're always there for them. They need to know you will always be there.
3. Being Open
3-1. Don't be too open in the very early days.
Easing into a relationship is about ensuring that there is plenty of space for the two of you to get to know one another and trust that you're right for one another. If you try too soon to "make" something more out of your relationship than it already is, premature pushiness can scare them away and spoil what is 'there' to be a good thing. Instead, be patient and realize that it takes time to nurture a solid and enduring relationship. If you want to be a good girlfriend, avoid the following things:
Don't push them to classify your relationship too soon. You don't have to have the label girlfriend or boyfriend after a couple of dates; this risks causing them to feel that the decision wasn't their own. Be patient and let them make up their own mind as to when the definitions, like going steady, exclusive relationship, serious dating etc start being bandied about. If the two of you are compatible, your relationship will develop soon enough.
Don't start talking about marriage or starting a family before you've even met their close friends and parents. Raising such issues prematurely can create tension from the outset and may stall or even bring to an end an otherwise productive and caring relationship.
Don't feel the need to show off or impress them. You don't need to prove anything to them; you simply need to be present and engaged in listening, being attentive and sharing your interests.
3-2. Be honest.
While being honest to your partner is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, you can sort through your feelings and verbalize them to them in a non-accusing way.
And the most important thing here is that you will be open about your feelings as much as possible. For example, if they do or say something that bothers you, be open about how it impacts you, without being accusing or asking them to change.
If you establish solid lines of communication from the outset, you'll know sooner rather than later whether this relationship will endure or fizzle out.
3-3. Speak your mind.
Don't be afraid to make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with your partners'. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please them. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep them interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. If you're comfortable with speaking your mind, then they'll be comfortable with speaking their mind, too.
Just remember to express yourself in way that doesn't attack anyone else's opinion or lifestyle in any way––you can be humble and outspoken at the same time by using assertiveness strategies and remaining considerate of their feelings too.
3-4. Be yourself
Don't create a fake you just to impress them. It might be tempting if you think they'd prefer a different type of girl but usually this is just cobbling together snippets of things said or suggested and you're likely to be wrong. After all, they want to date you, not some imagined form of perfection. And if you really feel tempted to change things about yourself because they insist that you'd be better thinner, taller, prettier, quieter, whatever, then it's a good indication that you're not compatible.
If they actually say such things to you in a badgering, persistent manner, then it is not love, but an attempt to control you.
Don't pretend that you share their interests if you don't. It might be amusing or "safe" to do so initially but it's extremely hurtful when they learn that you don't really love what they love; they could be basing their thoughts about your role in their future on something that isn't real and it'll end up hurting both of you.
Tips
Defend your partner. Showing loyalty and support is a key part of building a relationship's strength.
Appreciate all the things that are good in your relationship. Everyone feels more comfortable when there's appreciation. Wouldn't you? Learn to thank them for things they do even of it means saying thank you for a ride home. The things that they do for you all resemble the respect they have for you. Not all women have a good relationship, appreciate yours.
If your partner is acting passive toward you, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't love you. It most likely means they are shy or introverted. Perhaps they have never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. Or maybe they just aren't the kind of person to shout from the rooftops but they still feel deeply for you. Talk to them about what causes them to act that way and be understanding. Perhaps they're expecting you to take more initiative, because you've had more experience with relationships than they have. Or perhaps it really is just their way and you need to get used to it.
Warnings
Don't be annoying. Annoying includes constant calls, getting angry when they spend time with friends, pestering them to spend more time with you, whining, complaining about other people all the time, asking for validation all the time (for example, always ending your sentences with "don't you think so?"), etc.
Jealousy is a very dangerous emotion. Don't intentionally make them jealous. That will result in ultimately undermining trust for the long run.
Don't compare your current partner to your past one. Nobody appreciates such comparisons, even if you're trying to make your current partner seem better. They're not peas in a pod and you're not the judge of people in relation to each other; think about how much this current relationship works for you in the now instead.
Don't conduct secret tests on your partner to see what they'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair. Plus, you wouldn't want them to do that to you. The same goes for coercing your partner with sex.
Never flirt with their friends! No matter how hot they are to you, you need to assure them that they are the only person for you. If you feel the need to flirt with them, it indicates that you're not ready for settling into a monogamous relationship.
They will want a little space sometimes so don’t be offended if they ask for it.
It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about them, but remember to be respectful of them by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends updated on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place, in which case tell them everything and let them help you to leave them. But if you decide you want to share private information about the relationship, make sure they know about it and is allowed to do the same with their friends; but don't let them talk about you like an object.
Don't look at their phone unless they make it clear that it's okay. Expect the same in reverse.
Never lie. Don't just be honest, but be open with things as well. Don't leave things unsaid, even if it can be awkward, because this can lead to problems in your relationship down the road. There is such a thing as lying by omission––sometimes you need to say something for the sake of clearing the air where leaving it unsaid would lead them to think the wrong things.
Don't be insecure about your appearance. If they're dating you, they obviously think you're attractive.
Know the difference between constructive criticism and criticism that simply lays waste to a person's character because you'd prefer they'd act differently from who they are.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Loving\\n1-1. Be affectionate\\nThere are various ways to show your affection; some are more obvious than others and the way you approach this will depend on how openly affectionate you like to be personally. Affection is close to but not the same as intimacy––affection is about openly displaying that you care about this person and can be shown any time of day or night, publicly or privately. Think about how you like to show affection to people you care about, such as holding hands, touching an arm, quick kisses on the cheek, a hug, stroking hair, supportive words, mentioning how great someone is in front of other people, etc.\\nPet names like \\\"Baby\\\" or \\\"Sweetheart\\\" are a cute way to show your affection for your partner. Try not to overdo this, however. It can be a major turn-off if you call them \\\"Mr. Cuddle-Bear\\\", especially in public. Of all things, good communication is the vital part of any relationship, so make sure that they know how much you like them.\\nRegular lovey-dovey texts and emails can be a plus, but too many will become overwhelming and you may seem clingy. These types of things do show you're into them, and you want it to last forever, but don't come on so much that you scare them!\\n1-2. Be seductive.\\nDon't be afraid to be seductive. Most people find it irresistible when a girl is sexy, classy and confident. Confidence means being happy within your own skin; you will exude this without trying if you are accepting of yourself and feel secure about your own worth. You don't have to force yourself to be the most popular, bubbly personality if that isn't your style; rather, be the best you on show by taking good care of yourself and trusting that you're worth their attention.\\n1-3. Give them gifts.\\nWhen you're in a relationship, it's fun to give each other small gifts. Everyone loves to get presents and giving them one shows that they mean a lot to you. Don't overdo it -- just give them a gift when you're feeling loving and want to let them know how much they mean to you. You don't want them to think you're trying to buy their affection.\\nMake them something by hand. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so that whenever they look at it, they'll think of you and smile. If you're the musical type, or play an instrument, feel free to play them a song or two (bonus points if you play a song you wrote yourself). Add a private video of your song to YouTube.\\n1-4. Don't get jealous.\\nYou should be loving, but not to the point where you start seeing red the second your partner talks to, or even just mentions, another girl. Nothing will turn your significant other off faster than a girlfriend who is so insecure that she can't stand the thought of other women existing in the universe. Your partner will appreciate you even more if you're nice to their female friends instead of talking about how ugly or annoying any girl you see is.\\nIf they're out with their friends, don't text them every two seconds to make sure they're not talking to other girls. This will only make your partner see how little you trust them.\\n2. Being Supportive\\n2-1. Take an interest in their interests.\\nRemember what they like to do and what they like to talk about. You don't have to act like you love their hobbies, but at least try to understand why they're such a fan. If they love a band, try to understand why. If they just love to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be their way of releasing stress. In learning to accept their unique way of being, you'll also be learning more about yourself and ultimately whether you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person.\\nYou don't have to take an interest in all of their interests. If they enjoy watching baseball but you just can't get into it, that's fine, too.\\nJust asking about their interests and talking about the things that matter to them can be enough.\\n2-2. Learn to work as a team.\\nAs in any healthy relationship, you'll experience your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back. In a team, you have each other's back, you don't undermine one another and you openly cherish each other in front of others.\\nIn times of hardship, a team approach can help you to work through problems in a less emotionally attached way, in that both of you assume responsibilities for fixing things rather than expecting one or the other to fix things.\\nAvoid having a \\\"one track\\\" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.\\n2-3. Compliment them more than you criticize them.\\nIf everything you say around them is a criticism or an attack, they won't look forward to seeing you and they'll start reconsidering being with you. All the same, you don't always have to agree with them just because they are your partner. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships and establishing boundaries and making compromises are important relationship strategies to learn and adopt.\\nThough you can bring up a valid criticism when it feels right, you should say at least four positive things about them for every negative thing you say.\\nDon't nag them just because you're in a bad mood or things aren't going perfectly.\\n2-4. Learn to compromise.\\nIf you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to learn to compromise instead of fighting or being angry the second you don't get your way. To compromise well, you both have to be able to calmly and rationally discuss a situation while understanding the other person's perspective. Try to understand where your significant other is coming from instead of blindly focusing on what you think you need.\\nYou don't want to be that girl who always gets her way just because your partner would rather give in than stand their ground because you get so angry and upset whenever things don't go your way.\\n2-5. Give each other space\\nYou should support your partner, but you should also be able to \\\"be there\\\" for them in spirit when you're not actually around. If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to make time to do your own thing, to hang out with your girlfriends, and to see your partner. They should know that you're thinking of them and rooting for them even if you're not around. If you feel insecure and doubt the strength of your relationship the second you're apart, then you have a problem.\\nYou should support your partner if they just want to have a night out with their friends instead of trying to intrude. It's important to allow your significant other to have time to spend with their friends and hang out without you.\\nIf you feel entitled to all of their time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Don't be an overly protective girlfriend; let them go out without them feeling watched.\\nRemember that they don't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When they need some space, don't take it personally–recognize it for what it is–their time to rejuvenate and to share different interests with others. But do make sure they know that you're always there for them. They need to know you will always be there.\\n3. Being Open\\n3-1. Don't be too open in the very early days.\\nEasing into a relationship is about ensuring that there is plenty of space for the two of you to get to know one another and trust that you're right for one another. If you try too soon to \\\"make\\\" something more out of your relationship than it already is, premature pushiness can scare them away and spoil what is 'there' to be a good thing. Instead, be patient and realize that it takes time to nurture a solid and enduring relationship. If you want to be a good girlfriend, avoid the following things:\\nDon't push them to classify your relationship too soon. You don't have to have the label girlfriend or boyfriend after a couple of dates; this risks causing them to feel that the decision wasn't their own. Be patient and let them make up their own mind as to when the definitions, like going steady, exclusive relationship, serious dating etc start being bandied about. If the two of you are compatible, your relationship will develop soon enough.\\nDon't start talking about marriage or starting a family before you've even met their close friends and parents. Raising such issues prematurely can create tension from the outset and may stall or even bring to an end an otherwise productive and caring relationship.\\nDon't feel the need to show off or impress them. You don't need to prove anything to them; you simply need to be present and engaged in listening, being attentive and sharing your interests.\\n3-2. Be honest.\\nWhile being honest to your partner is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, you can sort through your feelings and verbalize them to them in a non-accusing way.\\nAnd the most important thing here is that you will be open about your feelings as much as possible. For example, if they do or say something that bothers you, be open about how it impacts you, without being accusing or asking them to change.\\nIf you establish solid lines of communication from the outset, you'll know sooner rather than later whether this relationship will endure or fizzle out.\\n3-3. Speak your mind.\\nDon't be afraid to make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with your partners'. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please them. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep them interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. If you're comfortable with speaking your mind, then they'll be comfortable with speaking their mind, too.\\nJust remember to express yourself in way that doesn't attack anyone else's opinion or lifestyle in any way––you can be humble and outspoken at the same time by using assertiveness strategies and remaining considerate of their feelings too.\\n3-4. Be yourself\\nDon't create a fake you just to impress them. It might be tempting if you think they'd prefer a different type of girl but usually this is just cobbling together snippets of things said or suggested and you're likely to be wrong. After all, they want to date you, not some imagined form of perfection. And if you really feel tempted to change things about yourself because they insist that you'd be better thinner, taller, prettier, quieter, whatever, then it's a good indication that you're not compatible.\\nIf they actually say such things to you in a badgering, persistent manner, then it is not love, but an attempt to control you.\\nDon't pretend that you share their interests if you don't. It might be amusing or \\\"safe\\\" to do so initially but it's extremely hurtful when they learn that you don't really love what they love; they could be basing their thoughts about your role in their future on something that isn't real and it'll end up hurting both of you.\\nTips\\nDefend your partner. Showing loyalty and support is a key part of building a relationship's strength.\\nAppreciate all the things that are good in your relationship. Everyone feels more comfortable when there's appreciation. Wouldn't you? Learn to thank them for things they do even of it means saying thank you for a ride home. The things that they do for you all resemble the respect they have for you. Not all women have a good relationship, appreciate yours.\\nIf your partner is acting passive toward you, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't love you. It most likely means they are shy or introverted. Perhaps they have never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. Or maybe they just aren't the kind of person to shout from the rooftops but they still feel deeply for you. Talk to them about what causes them to act that way and be understanding. Perhaps they're expecting you to take more initiative, because you've had more experience with relationships than they have. Or perhaps it really is just their way and you need to get used to it.\\nWarnings\\nDon't be annoying. Annoying includes constant calls, getting angry when they spend time with friends, pestering them to spend more time with you, whining, complaining about other people all the time, asking for validation all the time (for example, always ending your sentences with \\\"don't you think so?\\\"), etc.\\nJealousy is a very dangerous emotion. Don't intentionally make them jealous. That will result in ultimately undermining trust for the long run.\\nDon't compare your current partner to your past one. Nobody appreciates such comparisons, even if you're trying to make your current partner seem better. They're not peas in a pod and you're not the judge of people in relation to each other; think about how much this current relationship works for you in the now instead.\\nDon't conduct secret tests on your partner to see what they'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair. Plus, you wouldn't want them to do that to you. The same goes for coercing your partner with sex.\\nNever flirt with their friends! No matter how hot they are to you, you need to assure them that they are the only person for you. If you feel the need to flirt with them, it indicates that you're not ready for settling into a monogamous relationship.\\nThey will want a little space sometimes so don’t be offended if they ask for it.\\nIt's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about them, but remember to be respectful of them by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends updated on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place, in which case tell them everything and let them help you to leave them. But if you decide you want to share private information about the relationship, make sure they know about it and is allowed to do the same with their friends; but don't let them talk about you like an object.\\nDon't look at their phone unless they make it clear that it's okay. Expect the same in reverse.\\nNever lie. Don't just be honest, but be open with things as well. Don't leave things unsaid, even if it can be awkward, because this can lead to problems in your relationship down the road. There is such a thing as lying by omission––sometimes you need to say something for the sake of clearing the air where leaving it unsaid would lead them to think the wrong things.\\nDon't be insecure about your appearance. If they're dating you, they obviously think you're attractive.\\nKnow the difference between constructive criticism and criticism that simply lays waste to a person's character because you'd prefer they'd act differently from who they are.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you're in a new relationship or you are approaching your five-year anniversary, there are numerous things you can do to improve your role in the relationship. To be a good girlfriend, you have to be open and honest with your partner, supportive of their wants and needs, and willing to demonstrate your love and affection for them. Keep in mind that you should also strive to maintain your own independence to enjoy a healthy relationship.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Loving\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be affectionate\", \"描述\": \"There are various ways to show your affection; some are more obvious than others and the way you approach this will depend on how openly affectionate you like to be personally. Affection is close to but not the same as intimacy––affection is about openly displaying that you care about this person and can be shown any time of day or night, publicly or privately. Think about how you like to show affection to people you care about, such as holding hands, touching an arm, quick kisses on the cheek, a hug, stroking hair, supportive words, mentioning how great someone is in front of other people, etc.\\nPet names like \\\"Baby\\\" or \\\"Sweetheart\\\" are a cute way to show your affection for your partner. Try not to overdo this, however. It can be a major turn-off if you call them \\\"Mr. Cuddle-Bear\\\", especially in public. Of all things, good communication is the vital part of any relationship, so make sure that they know how much you like them.\\nRegular lovey-dovey texts and emails can be a plus, but too many will become overwhelming and you may seem clingy. These types of things do show you're into them, and you want it to last forever, but don't come on so much that you scare them!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be seductive.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be afraid to be seductive. Most people find it irresistible when a girl is sexy, classy and confident. Confidence means being happy within your own skin; you will exude this without trying if you are accepting of yourself and feel secure about your own worth. You don't have to force yourself to be the most popular, bubbly personality if that isn't your style; rather, be the best you on show by taking good care of yourself and trusting that you're worth their attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give them gifts.\", \"描述\": \"When you're in a relationship, it's fun to give each other small gifts. Everyone loves to get presents and giving them one shows that they mean a lot to you. Don't overdo it -- just give them a gift when you're feeling loving and want to let them know how much they mean to you. You don't want them to think you're trying to buy their affection.\\nMake them something by hand. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so that whenever they look at it, they'll think of you and smile. If you're the musical type, or play an instrument, feel free to play them a song or two (bonus points if you play a song you wrote yourself). Add a private video of your song to YouTube.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't get jealous.\", \"描述\": \"You should be loving, but not to the point where you start seeing red the second your partner talks to, or even just mentions, another girl. Nothing will turn your significant other off faster than a girlfriend who is so insecure that she can't stand the thought of other women existing in the universe. Your partner will appreciate you even more if you're nice to their female friends instead of talking about how ugly or annoying any girl you see is.\\nIf they're out with their friends, don't text them every two seconds to make sure they're not talking to other girls. This will only make your partner see how little you trust them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Supportive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take an interest in their interests.\", \"描述\": \"Remember what they like to do and what they like to talk about. You don't have to act like you love their hobbies, but at least try to understand why they're such a fan. If they love a band, try to understand why. If they just love to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be their way of releasing stress. In learning to accept their unique way of being, you'll also be learning more about yourself and ultimately whether you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person.\\nYou don't have to take an interest in all of their interests. If they enjoy watching baseball but you just can't get into it, that's fine, too.\\nJust asking about their interests and talking about the things that matter to them can be enough.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to work as a team.\", \"描述\": \"As in any healthy relationship, you'll experience your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back. In a team, you have each other's back, you don't undermine one another and you openly cherish each other in front of others.\\nIn times of hardship, a team approach can help you to work through problems in a less emotionally attached way, in that both of you assume responsibilities for fixing things rather than expecting one or the other to fix things.\\nAvoid having a \\\"one track\\\" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment them more than you criticize them.\", \"描述\": \"If everything you say around them is a criticism or an attack, they won't look forward to seeing you and they'll start reconsidering being with you. All the same, you don't always have to agree with them just because they are your partner. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships and establishing boundaries and making compromises are important relationship strategies to learn and adopt.\\nThough you can bring up a valid criticism when it feels right, you should say at least four positive things about them for every negative thing you say.\\nDon't nag them just because you're in a bad mood or things aren't going perfectly.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to compromise.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to learn to compromise instead of fighting or being angry the second you don't get your way. To compromise well, you both have to be able to calmly and rationally discuss a situation while understanding the other person's perspective. Try to understand where your significant other is coming from instead of blindly focusing on what you think you need.\\nYou don't want to be that girl who always gets her way just because your partner would rather give in than stand their ground because you get so angry and upset whenever things don't go your way.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give each other space\", \"描述\": \"You should support your partner, but you should also be able to \\\"be there\\\" for them in spirit when you're not actually around. If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to make time to do your own thing, to hang out with your girlfriends, and to see your partner. They should know that you're thinking of them and rooting for them even if you're not around. If you feel insecure and doubt the strength of your relationship the second you're apart, then you have a problem.\\nYou should support your partner if they just want to have a night out with their friends instead of trying to intrude. It's important to allow your significant other to have time to spend with their friends and hang out without you.\\nIf you feel entitled to all of their time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Don't be an overly protective girlfriend; let them go out without them feeling watched.\\nRemember that they don't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When they need some space, don't take it personally–recognize it for what it is–their time to rejuvenate and to share different interests with others. But do make sure they know that you're always there for them. They need to know you will always be there.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Open\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't be too open in the very early days.\", \"描述\": \"Easing into a relationship is about ensuring that there is plenty of space for the two of you to get to know one another and trust that you're right for one another. If you try too soon to \\\"make\\\" something more out of your relationship than it already is, premature pushiness can scare them away and spoil what is 'there' to be a good thing. Instead, be patient and realize that it takes time to nurture a solid and enduring relationship. If you want to be a good girlfriend, avoid the following things:\\nDon't push them to classify your relationship too soon. You don't have to have the label girlfriend or boyfriend after a couple of dates; this risks causing them to feel that the decision wasn't their own. Be patient and let them make up their own mind as to when the definitions, like going steady, exclusive relationship, serious dating etc start being bandied about. If the two of you are compatible, your relationship will develop soon enough.\\nDon't start talking about marriage or starting a family before you've even met their close friends and parents. Raising such issues prematurely can create tension from the outset and may stall or even bring to an end an otherwise productive and caring relationship.\\nDon't feel the need to show off or impress them. You don't need to prove anything to them; you simply need to be present and engaged in listening, being attentive and sharing your interests.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be honest.\", \"描述\": \"While being honest to your partner is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, you can sort through your feelings and verbalize them to them in a non-accusing way.\\nAnd the most important thing here is that you will be open about your feelings as much as possible. For example, if they do or say something that bothers you, be open about how it impacts you, without being accusing or asking them to change.\\nIf you establish solid lines of communication from the outset, you'll know sooner rather than later whether this relationship will endure or fizzle out.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak your mind.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be afraid to make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with your partners'. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please them. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep them interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. If you're comfortable with speaking your mind, then they'll be comfortable with speaking their mind, too.\\nJust remember to express yourself in way that doesn't attack anyone else's opinion or lifestyle in any way––you can be humble and outspoken at the same time by using assertiveness strategies and remaining considerate of their feelings too.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be yourself\", \"描述\": \"Don't create a fake you just to impress them. It might be tempting if you think they'd prefer a different type of girl but usually this is just cobbling together snippets of things said or suggested and you're likely to be wrong. After all, they want to date you, not some imagined form of perfection. And if you really feel tempted to change things about yourself because they insist that you'd be better thinner, taller, prettier, quieter, whatever, then it's a good indication that you're not compatible.\\nIf they actually say such things to you in a badgering, persistent manner, then it is not love, but an attempt to control you.\\nDon't pretend that you share their interests if you don't. It might be amusing or \\\"safe\\\" to do so initially but it's extremely hurtful when they learn that you don't really love what they love; they could be basing their thoughts about your role in their future on something that isn't real and it'll end up hurting both of you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Defend your partner. Showing loyalty and support is a key part of building a relationship's strength.\\n\", \"Appreciate all the things that are good in your relationship. Everyone feels more comfortable when there's appreciation. Wouldn't you? Learn to thank them for things they do even of it means saying thank you for a ride home. The things that they do for you all resemble the respect they have for you. Not all women have a good relationship, appreciate yours.\\n\", \"If your partner is acting passive toward you, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't love you. It most likely means they are shy or introverted. Perhaps they have never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. Or maybe they just aren't the kind of person to shout from the rooftops but they still feel deeply for you. Talk to them about what causes them to act that way and be understanding. Perhaps they're expecting you to take more initiative, because you've had more experience with relationships than they have. Or perhaps it really is just their way and you need to get used to it.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't be annoying. Annoying includes constant calls, getting angry when they spend time with friends, pestering them to spend more time with you, whining, complaining about other people all the time, asking for validation all the time (for example, always ending your sentences with \\\"don't you think so?\\\"), etc.\\n\", \"Jealousy is a very dangerous emotion. Don't intentionally make them jealous. That will result in ultimately undermining trust for the long run.\\n\", \"Don't compare your current partner to your past one. Nobody appreciates such comparisons, even if you're trying to make your current partner seem better. They're not peas in a pod and you're not the judge of people in relation to each other; think about how much this current relationship works for you in the now instead.\\n\", \"Don't conduct secret tests on your partner to see what they'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair. Plus, you wouldn't want them to do that to you. The same goes for coercing your partner with sex.\\n\", \"Never flirt with their friends! No matter how hot they are to you, you need to assure them that they are the only person for you. If you feel the need to flirt with them, it indicates that you're not ready for settling into a monogamous relationship.\\n\", \"They will want a little space sometimes so don’t be offended if they ask for it.\\n\", \"It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about them, but remember to be respectful of them by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends updated on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place, in which case tell them everything and let them help you to leave them. But if you decide you want to share private information about the relationship, make sure they know about it and is allowed to do the same with their friends; but don't let them talk about you like an object.\\n\", \"Don't look at their phone unless they make it clear that it's okay. Expect the same in reverse.\\n\", \"Never lie. Don't just be honest, but be open with things as well. Don't leave things unsaid, even if it can be awkward, because this can lead to problems in your relationship down the road. There is such a thing as lying by omission––sometimes you need to say something for the sake of clearing the air where leaving it unsaid would lead them to think the wrong things.\\n\", \"Don't be insecure about your appearance. If they're dating you, they obviously think you're attractive.\\n\", \"Know the difference between constructive criticism and criticism that simply lays waste to a person's character because you'd prefer they'd act differently from who they are.\\n\"]}]}}",
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How to Be a Good Girlfriend as a Teen
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1. Choosing the Right Person
1-1. Make sure you’re equally mature.
This can be a tough one when you’re a teenager. Everyone around you is in the process of maturing, and you’re probably all doing so at different rates. Even so, do your best to pick someone who seems to be at a similar place on that journey as you are. It will ultimately make things easier.
A good way to know if you’re equally mature is to notice how comfortable you feel around this person and how easy they are to talk to.
Do you find yourself feeling annoyed by them because they’re immature or because they're condescending and elitist? In both cases, you may be at different levels of maturity.
Some people like to say that, “age is just a number.” That’s sometimes true, but age can also be a helpful indicator when you’re trying to tell if a relationship will work out.
1-2. Share interests.
Sharing interests is an important way that people in romantic relationships connect. Of course, you don’t need to have everything in common or like all of the same things, but if you enjoy similar activities, you’ll always be able to find fun things to do together.
Meeting someone through an activity you enjoy can make for a great relationship. You could meet a potential partner in a club, student government, or an extracurricular activity.
Similar values or backgrounds can also bring you together. For example, a person who loves sports can still be with a person who loves art if they both have similar religious or spiritual practices.
1-3. Look for someone with self-awareness.
This one can be tough when you’re a teen, since not everyone is going to be mature enough to have self-awareness. Self-awareness means that a person has some conscientiousness about their behavior and their effect on others. They’re able to look at themselves honestly and critically and make changes, if needed.
A person with self-awareness will have some patience and self-control. They won’t try to rush you or the relationship before you’re ready.
Self-awareness helps a person be a better partner because they can see how their actions affect you and the relationship.
1-4. Choose someone who is respectful.
It is important that you find a partner who is respectful and avoid those who might be manipulative or abusive. Early relationships are all about learning, and this is a good time to set your boundaries and understand your rights in a partnership. Abusive people can be very charming, so it's important you learn to look past what a person says and really look at their behavior and how they treat you.
Common characteristics of abusers include: extremes in behavior and mood, overly protective and controlling, rigid ideas about gender roles, inflexible and judgmental, intense and codependent, and a tendency to bottle up emotions.
If you notice these signs from a person, then they're not someone you should get involved with. As much as you may like them, or feel like they're just misunderstood, this is not a healthy dynamic.
Set boundaries about what you will and will not accept in a relationship and stick to them. If the person you're interested in knowingly violates these boundaries and chooses not to respect them, then you should end the relationship.
1-5. Take it slow.
When you meet someone you’re super excited about, you may want to dive right into a relationship with them. That can be thrilling in the moment, but you may get hurt if the relationship crashes and burns.
Let yourself date for a while before deciding to officially be this person’s girlfriend. If they press the issue, you can be honest.
Say something like, “I really like you, which is why I want to take things slowly. I want to make sure that if I’m going to be your girlfriend, I can be a great girlfriend.”
You can also say something like, “I really like you, but I'm just not sure if I want to be your girlfriend just yet. I'd like to get to know you a little better if you're really interested.” if that’s how you feel.
2. Treating your Partner Well
2-1. Learn to compromise.
Both you and your partner are going to have to do some compromising for the relationship to work. Figure out what’s important to you and communicate about that. Keep in mind, however, that it’s important to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy compromises.
For example, if dance is important to you, you could say: “Dance is important to me, and it would mean a lot if you could come to my recitals.”
You should do the same for your partner in return by supporting their hobbies. If they attend your dance recitals, then cheer them on during their sports game.
You may have to compromise on dates. For example, you could see his choice of movie, but then go to the restaurant that you want.
2-2. Stay faithful.
This one is crucial for a healthy relationship. If you’ve committed to being someone’s girlfriend, that generally means that you’ve committed to being romantic only with them until you break up. Avoid flirting or otherwise being romantic with other people.
Some people prefer open relationships where it’s okay to be romantic or sexual with more than one person. This takes a lot of maturity and communication from all parties. Never assume a relationship is open without talking about it first.
Though flirting with someone else is not technically cheating, it can make some people jealous. Avoid doing this in front of your partner out of respect.
If you find yourself tempted to cheat, you may not be ready for a relationship, or this may not be the right person for you right now.
2-3. Keep the friendship intact.
If you like someone enough to be their girlfriend, you hopefully like them enough to be their friend, too. Friends know how to have fun together and support each other. Keep those things at the center of your relationship, even though it’s now romantic.
Ask your partner how their day was. Check in with them when they’re sick or struggling. Send them cute notes and make sure they know you care.
Keep doing things you enjoy together. Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean that you have to spend all of your time making out.
2-4. Suggest fun date ideas.
Don’t assume your partner will have all of the great date ideas. Show that you’re invested in the relationship and in staying active together by coming up with fun things you can do together.
Classic dates include movies, dinner, sporting events, and concerts.
You can also go for fun outdoor dates like hikes, bike rides, or a walk in the park or a swim in a nearby lake or river.
Volunteer somewhere together, such as at a soup kitchen or community event.
Sign up to run or walk a local 5K together.
2-5. Support each other.
A big reason many people seek out partners is for the companionship and support they offer. Being a good girlfriend means being a support for your partner during good times and bad.
If your partner isn’t feeling well or is having a hard time, send them a note or a card. Let them know you’re thinking about them and ask if there’s anything you can do to help.
If you don’t live near your partner or you don’t go to school together, send them messages to let them know you miss them and are thinking about them.
Offer to help when help is needed. They may need help studying for a test, putting up posters for their student government campaign, or setting up for a party.
3. Behaving in Public
3-1. Maintain your individuality.
You probably know couples that seem so into each other that they do absolutely everything together. While this may seem like total bliss, it’s actually usually not very healthy. In a healthy relationship, each person maintains their own sense of self, even when they do things together.
It’s great to be willing to try things that your partner is into, but make sure you’re honest about your level of interest. Also, be sure to keep up with your own interests as well.
You should both still spend time doing things on your own or with your own friends. That’s perfectly healthy. As they say, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder."
3-2. Keep private matters off of social media.
Sometimes, something will happen in your relationship and you’ll just want to vent or gush to the whole world; however, remember that things that end up on social media can be seen by tons of people, sometimes forever.
Even if you want to let the world know how wonderful and sweet your partner is, tone it down. They might get embarrassed or have seen the gesture as something private.
Likewise, if you had a big fight or they did something that upset you, don't tell the whole world about that, too. That could make things even worse.
3-3. Refrain from gossip.
Refraining from gossip means that you don’t listen to gossip or start it yourself. Gossip can mean telling people private things about your partner that other people wouldn’t know. It can also mean listening to things people tell you about them.
If you hear something about your partner or your relationship that’s news to you, ask them about it before engaging in gossip or believing what someone else tells you.
If you want to share something from your relationship with friends, ask your partner about it first, as it could be private. If they’ve said something like, “This is just between us,” then it's definitely not something you should share.
Tips
If it’s time to break up, be honest about your feelings, but know that you’ll have other relationships in your life that will be meaningful as well.[16]
X
Expert Source
Connell BarrettDating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
Always be yourself. Remember that your partner likes and appreciates you for who you are. That’s why you’re together!
Warnings
Being a good girlfriend never means getting more physically intimate than you’re ready for, or engaging in sexual behavior when you don’t want to. If you feel that you’re being pressured to have sex or be intimate, you need to talk to your partner to address that right away.
Sex and sexuality are parts of romantic relationships. Physical intimacy can be very exciting but can also result in difficult feelings, the spread of STIs, and even pregnancy. Make sure to communicate clearly and consistently when the subject of sex comes up, and always use protection, such as condoms.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing the Right Person\\n1-1. Make sure you’re equally mature.\\nThis can be a tough one when you’re a teenager. Everyone around you is in the process of maturing, and you’re probably all doing so at different rates. Even so, do your best to pick someone who seems to be at a similar place on that journey as you are. It will ultimately make things easier.\\nA good way to know if you’re equally mature is to notice how comfortable you feel around this person and how easy they are to talk to.\\nDo you find yourself feeling annoyed by them because they’re immature or because they're condescending and elitist? In both cases, you may be at different levels of maturity.\\nSome people like to say that, “age is just a number.” That’s sometimes true, but age can also be a helpful indicator when you’re trying to tell if a relationship will work out.\\n1-2. Share interests.\\nSharing interests is an important way that people in romantic relationships connect. Of course, you don’t need to have everything in common or like all of the same things, but if you enjoy similar activities, you’ll always be able to find fun things to do together.\\nMeeting someone through an activity you enjoy can make for a great relationship. You could meet a potential partner in a club, student government, or an extracurricular activity.\\nSimilar values or backgrounds can also bring you together. For example, a person who loves sports can still be with a person who loves art if they both have similar religious or spiritual practices.\\n1-3. Look for someone with self-awareness.\\nThis one can be tough when you’re a teen, since not everyone is going to be mature enough to have self-awareness. Self-awareness means that a person has some conscientiousness about their behavior and their effect on others. They’re able to look at themselves honestly and critically and make changes, if needed.\\nA person with self-awareness will have some patience and self-control. They won’t try to rush you or the relationship before you’re ready.\\nSelf-awareness helps a person be a better partner because they can see how their actions affect you and the relationship.\\n1-4. Choose someone who is respectful.\\nIt is important that you find a partner who is respectful and avoid those who might be manipulative or abusive. Early relationships are all about learning, and this is a good time to set your boundaries and understand your rights in a partnership. Abusive people can be very charming, so it's important you learn to look past what a person says and really look at their behavior and how they treat you.\\nCommon characteristics of abusers include: extremes in behavior and mood, overly protective and controlling, rigid ideas about gender roles, inflexible and judgmental, intense and codependent, and a tendency to bottle up emotions.\\nIf you notice these signs from a person, then they're not someone you should get involved with. As much as you may like them, or feel like they're just misunderstood, this is not a healthy dynamic.\\nSet boundaries about what you will and will not accept in a relationship and stick to them. If the person you're interested in knowingly violates these boundaries and chooses not to respect them, then you should end the relationship.\\n1-5. Take it slow.\\nWhen you meet someone you’re super excited about, you may want to dive right into a relationship with them. That can be thrilling in the moment, but you may get hurt if the relationship crashes and burns.\\nLet yourself date for a while before deciding to officially be this person’s girlfriend. If they press the issue, you can be honest.\\nSay something like, “I really like you, which is why I want to take things slowly. I want to make sure that if I’m going to be your girlfriend, I can be a great girlfriend.”\\nYou can also say something like, “I really like you, but I'm just not sure if I want to be your girlfriend just yet. I'd like to get to know you a little better if you're really interested.” if that’s how you feel.\\n2. Treating your Partner Well\\n2-1. Learn to compromise.\\nBoth you and your partner are going to have to do some compromising for the relationship to work. Figure out what’s important to you and communicate about that. Keep in mind, however, that it’s important to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy compromises.\\nFor example, if dance is important to you, you could say: “Dance is important to me, and it would mean a lot if you could come to my recitals.”\\nYou should do the same for your partner in return by supporting their hobbies. If they attend your dance recitals, then cheer them on during their sports game.\\nYou may have to compromise on dates. For example, you could see his choice of movie, but then go to the restaurant that you want.\\n2-2. Stay faithful.\\nThis one is crucial for a healthy relationship. If you’ve committed to being someone’s girlfriend, that generally means that you’ve committed to being romantic only with them until you break up. Avoid flirting or otherwise being romantic with other people.\\nSome people prefer open relationships where it’s okay to be romantic or sexual with more than one person. This takes a lot of maturity and communication from all parties. Never assume a relationship is open without talking about it first.\\nThough flirting with someone else is not technically cheating, it can make some people jealous. Avoid doing this in front of your partner out of respect.\\nIf you find yourself tempted to cheat, you may not be ready for a relationship, or this may not be the right person for you right now.\\n2-3. Keep the friendship intact.\\nIf you like someone enough to be their girlfriend, you hopefully like them enough to be their friend, too. Friends know how to have fun together and support each other. Keep those things at the center of your relationship, even though it’s now romantic.\\nAsk your partner how their day was. Check in with them when they’re sick or struggling. Send them cute notes and make sure they know you care.\\nKeep doing things you enjoy together. Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean that you have to spend all of your time making out.\\n2-4. Suggest fun date ideas.\\nDon’t assume your partner will have all of the great date ideas. Show that you’re invested in the relationship and in staying active together by coming up with fun things you can do together.\\nClassic dates include movies, dinner, sporting events, and concerts.\\nYou can also go for fun outdoor dates like hikes, bike rides, or a walk in the park or a swim in a nearby lake or river.\\nVolunteer somewhere together, such as at a soup kitchen or community event.\\nSign up to run or walk a local 5K together.\\n2-5. Support each other.\\nA big reason many people seek out partners is for the companionship and support they offer. Being a good girlfriend means being a support for your partner during good times and bad.\\nIf your partner isn’t feeling well or is having a hard time, send them a note or a card. Let them know you’re thinking about them and ask if there’s anything you can do to help.\\nIf you don’t live near your partner or you don’t go to school together, send them messages to let them know you miss them and are thinking about them.\\nOffer to help when help is needed. They may need help studying for a test, putting up posters for their student government campaign, or setting up for a party.\\n3. Behaving in Public\\n3-1. Maintain your individuality.\\nYou probably know couples that seem so into each other that they do absolutely everything together. While this may seem like total bliss, it’s actually usually not very healthy. In a healthy relationship, each person maintains their own sense of self, even when they do things together.\\nIt’s great to be willing to try things that your partner is into, but make sure you’re honest about your level of interest. Also, be sure to keep up with your own interests as well.\\nYou should both still spend time doing things on your own or with your own friends. That’s perfectly healthy. As they say, \\\"Distance makes the heart grow fonder.\\\"\\n3-2. Keep private matters off of social media.\\nSometimes, something will happen in your relationship and you’ll just want to vent or gush to the whole world; however, remember that things that end up on social media can be seen by tons of people, sometimes forever.\\nEven if you want to let the world know how wonderful and sweet your partner is, tone it down. They might get embarrassed or have seen the gesture as something private.\\nLikewise, if you had a big fight or they did something that upset you, don't tell the whole world about that, too. That could make things even worse.\\n3-3. Refrain from gossip.\\nRefraining from gossip means that you don’t listen to gossip or start it yourself. Gossip can mean telling people private things about your partner that other people wouldn’t know. It can also mean listening to things people tell you about them.\\nIf you hear something about your partner or your relationship that’s news to you, ask them about it before engaging in gossip or believing what someone else tells you.\\nIf you want to share something from your relationship with friends, ask your partner about it first, as it could be private. If they’ve said something like, “This is just between us,” then it's definitely not something you should share.\\nTips\\nIf it’s time to break up, be honest about your feelings, but know that you’ll have other relationships in your life that will be meaningful as well.[16]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nConnell BarrettDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 24 September 2019.\\nAlways be yourself. Remember that your partner likes and appreciates you for who you are. That’s why you’re together!\\nWarnings\\nBeing a good girlfriend never means getting more physically intimate than you’re ready for, or engaging in sexual behavior when you don’t want to. If you feel that you’re being pressured to have sex or be intimate, you need to talk to your partner to address that right away.\\nSex and sexuality are parts of romantic relationships. Physical intimacy can be very exciting but can also result in difficult feelings, the spread of STIs, and even pregnancy. Make sure to communicate clearly and consistently when the subject of sex comes up, and always use protection, such as condoms.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re super into the person you’re seeing, that’s great! You’ll probably want to be the best girlfriend you can be in order to make the relationship last and to keep it fun for both of you. Being a good girlfriend means knowing how to be a good partner and communicate; it’s not just about buying the person gifts and flattering them.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing the Right Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure you’re equally mature.\", \"描述\": \"This can be a tough one when you’re a teenager. Everyone around you is in the process of maturing, and you’re probably all doing so at different rates. Even so, do your best to pick someone who seems to be at a similar place on that journey as you are. It will ultimately make things easier.\\nA good way to know if you’re equally mature is to notice how comfortable you feel around this person and how easy they are to talk to.\\nDo you find yourself feeling annoyed by them because they’re immature or because they're condescending and elitist? In both cases, you may be at different levels of maturity.\\nSome people like to say that, “age is just a number.” That’s sometimes true, but age can also be a helpful indicator when you’re trying to tell if a relationship will work out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Share interests.\", \"描述\": \"Sharing interests is an important way that people in romantic relationships connect. Of course, you don’t need to have everything in common or like all of the same things, but if you enjoy similar activities, you’ll always be able to find fun things to do together.\\nMeeting someone through an activity you enjoy can make for a great relationship. You could meet a potential partner in a club, student government, or an extracurricular activity.\\nSimilar values or backgrounds can also bring you together. For example, a person who loves sports can still be with a person who loves art if they both have similar religious or spiritual practices.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look for someone with self-awareness.\", \"描述\": \"This one can be tough when you’re a teen, since not everyone is going to be mature enough to have self-awareness. Self-awareness means that a person has some conscientiousness about their behavior and their effect on others. They’re able to look at themselves honestly and critically and make changes, if needed.\\nA person with self-awareness will have some patience and self-control. They won’t try to rush you or the relationship before you’re ready.\\nSelf-awareness helps a person be a better partner because they can see how their actions affect you and the relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose someone who is respectful.\", \"描述\": \"It is important that you find a partner who is respectful and avoid those who might be manipulative or abusive. Early relationships are all about learning, and this is a good time to set your boundaries and understand your rights in a partnership. Abusive people can be very charming, so it's important you learn to look past what a person says and really look at their behavior and how they treat you.\\nCommon characteristics of abusers include: extremes in behavior and mood, overly protective and controlling, rigid ideas about gender roles, inflexible and judgmental, intense and codependent, and a tendency to bottle up emotions.\\nIf you notice these signs from a person, then they're not someone you should get involved with. As much as you may like them, or feel like they're just misunderstood, this is not a healthy dynamic.\\nSet boundaries about what you will and will not accept in a relationship and stick to them. If the person you're interested in knowingly violates these boundaries and chooses not to respect them, then you should end the relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take it slow.\", \"描述\": \"When you meet someone you’re super excited about, you may want to dive right into a relationship with them. That can be thrilling in the moment, but you may get hurt if the relationship crashes and burns.\\nLet yourself date for a while before deciding to officially be this person’s girlfriend. If they press the issue, you can be honest.\\nSay something like, “I really like you, which is why I want to take things slowly. I want to make sure that if I’m going to be your girlfriend, I can be a great girlfriend.”\\nYou can also say something like, “I really like you, but I'm just not sure if I want to be your girlfriend just yet. I'd like to get to know you a little better if you're really interested.” if that’s how you feel.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Treating your Partner Well\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to compromise.\", \"描述\": \"Both you and your partner are going to have to do some compromising for the relationship to work. Figure out what’s important to you and communicate about that. Keep in mind, however, that it’s important to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy compromises.\\nFor example, if dance is important to you, you could say: “Dance is important to me, and it would mean a lot if you could come to my recitals.”\\nYou should do the same for your partner in return by supporting their hobbies. If they attend your dance recitals, then cheer them on during their sports game.\\nYou may have to compromise on dates. For example, you could see his choice of movie, but then go to the restaurant that you want.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay faithful.\", \"描述\": \"This one is crucial for a healthy relationship. If you’ve committed to being someone’s girlfriend, that generally means that you’ve committed to being romantic only with them until you break up. Avoid flirting or otherwise being romantic with other people.\\nSome people prefer open relationships where it’s okay to be romantic or sexual with more than one person. This takes a lot of maturity and communication from all parties. Never assume a relationship is open without talking about it first.\\nThough flirting with someone else is not technically cheating, it can make some people jealous. Avoid doing this in front of your partner out of respect.\\nIf you find yourself tempted to cheat, you may not be ready for a relationship, or this may not be the right person for you right now.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep the friendship intact.\", \"描述\": \"If you like someone enough to be their girlfriend, you hopefully like them enough to be their friend, too. Friends know how to have fun together and support each other. Keep those things at the center of your relationship, even though it’s now romantic.\\nAsk your partner how their day was. Check in with them when they’re sick or struggling. Send them cute notes and make sure they know you care.\\nKeep doing things you enjoy together. Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean that you have to spend all of your time making out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Suggest fun date ideas.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t assume your partner will have all of the great date ideas. Show that you’re invested in the relationship and in staying active together by coming up with fun things you can do together.\\nClassic dates include movies, dinner, sporting events, and concerts.\\nYou can also go for fun outdoor dates like hikes, bike rides, or a walk in the park or a swim in a nearby lake or river.\\nVolunteer somewhere together, such as at a soup kitchen or community event.\\nSign up to run or walk a local 5K together.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Support each other.\", \"描述\": \"A big reason many people seek out partners is for the companionship and support they offer. Being a good girlfriend means being a support for your partner during good times and bad.\\nIf your partner isn’t feeling well or is having a hard time, send them a note or a card. Let them know you’re thinking about them and ask if there’s anything you can do to help.\\nIf you don’t live near your partner or you don’t go to school together, send them messages to let them know you miss them and are thinking about them.\\nOffer to help when help is needed. They may need help studying for a test, putting up posters for their student government campaign, or setting up for a party.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Behaving in Public\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain your individuality.\", \"描述\": \"You probably know couples that seem so into each other that they do absolutely everything together. While this may seem like total bliss, it’s actually usually not very healthy. In a healthy relationship, each person maintains their own sense of self, even when they do things together.\\nIt’s great to be willing to try things that your partner is into, but make sure you’re honest about your level of interest. Also, be sure to keep up with your own interests as well.\\nYou should both still spend time doing things on your own or with your own friends. That’s perfectly healthy. As they say, \\\"Distance makes the heart grow fonder.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep private matters off of social media.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, something will happen in your relationship and you’ll just want to vent or gush to the whole world; however, remember that things that end up on social media can be seen by tons of people, sometimes forever.\\nEven if you want to let the world know how wonderful and sweet your partner is, tone it down. They might get embarrassed or have seen the gesture as something private.\\nLikewise, if you had a big fight or they did something that upset you, don't tell the whole world about that, too. That could make things even worse.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Refrain from gossip.\", \"描述\": \"Refraining from gossip means that you don’t listen to gossip or start it yourself. Gossip can mean telling people private things about your partner that other people wouldn’t know. It can also mean listening to things people tell you about them.\\nIf you hear something about your partner or your relationship that’s news to you, ask them about it before engaging in gossip or believing what someone else tells you.\\nIf you want to share something from your relationship with friends, ask your partner about it first, as it could be private. If they’ve said something like, “This is just between us,” then it's definitely not something you should share.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If it’s time to break up, be honest about your feelings, but know that you’ll have other relationships in your life that will be meaningful as well.[16]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nConnell BarrettDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 24 September 2019.\\n\", \"Always be yourself. Remember that your partner likes and appreciates you for who you are. That’s why you’re together!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Being a good girlfriend never means getting more physically intimate than you’re ready for, or engaging in sexual behavior when you don’t want to. If you feel that you’re being pressured to have sex or be intimate, you need to talk to your partner to address that right away.\\n\", \"Sex and sexuality are parts of romantic relationships. Physical intimacy can be very exciting but can also result in difficult feelings, the spread of STIs, and even pregnancy. Make sure to communicate clearly and consistently when the subject of sex comes up, and always use protection, such as condoms.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
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wikihow
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How to Be a Good Girlfriend in Middle School
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1. Building a Stronger Bond
1-1. Be yourself around the person you’re dating.
Let them know the real you so the two of you can build an open, honest relationship. What’s the point of dating someone if you have to fake it all the time? If they don’t like and respect who you are, then they’re not right for you anyway.
For example, if you’re into a certain type of music that isn’t popular among other people your age, listen to it anyway and be proud that you have such a unique taste for music!
1-2. Surprise them with little things to keep it interesting and show you care.
Keep your relationship fresh by surprising the person you’re dating with simple gifts and gestures. Surprising them on occasion will show them how thoughtful you are and how much they mean to you.
For example, if you know their favorite band, surprise them with a cool t-shirt!
As another example, plant a little treat or sweet note in their locker at school.
1-3. Express interest in their interests and passions.
Asking questions and talking to them about their favorite things will show that you care about them and want to share in their passions. For example, if the person you’re dating is really into graphic novels, you might ask, "Who's your favorite character in this one?" or "That's an interesting cover design, can you show me some cool art from that one?"
However, don’t pretend to be into something just because they’re into it. Be honest and say something like, “I can’t really get into graphic novels but I love how passionate you are about the stories and the art.”
Be a good listener whenever they share something with you. A lot of people don't take the time to listen, so it's really nice when someone does.
1-4. Support their ambitions.
Encourage them to pursue the things that they are interested in doing, and help them challenge themself and motivate themself in the direction of their goals.
Remember, there's a difference between being supportive and being pushy. Give them suggestions, advice, and moral support, but let them follow their own ideas too!
1-5. Give them compliments to show them that you admire them.
Tell the person you’re dating what you like about them to make them feel good and show them that you care. For instance, if they scored a goal during a soccer game, you might say, “You’re so athletic, great job!” Or, if they did something nice for someone else, you could say something like, “That was really sweet of you. I’m lucky to have you!”
Keep your compliments genuine and original. "You have great style" "You're really eloquent when you talk" and "You have some great ideas" are all great compliments.
Don’t overdo it! Giving anyone too many compliments can come off as fake or desperate.
1-6. Show the person you’re dating affection with hugs, cuddles, and kisses.
Take opportunities to hold their hand, hug them, or cuddle them. It might feel awkward at first if you’re both shy, but a little contact will establish a sense of physical closeness that will strengthen your bond.
Make sure they’re comfortable with physical closeness by asking first. For example, you might say, “Do you want to hold hands?” or “Can I kiss you?”
If the person you’re dating is already a touchy-feely person, feel free to go in for a surprise kiss if you want to!
If you’re not comfortable with touching or kissing but they are, let them know that you’re not there yet. If they’re a good partner, they’ll understand.
1-7. Put effort into your appearance to impress the person you’re dating.
Put a little effort into your outfit and grooming to show them that you want them to be physically attracted to you. After all, you probably want them to try to impress you too!
For example, style your hair and wear a flattering outfit. If they got you a shirt, accessories, or any other wearable gift, wear it around them to show your appreciation.
Don't go overboard and keep your style appropriate for the occasion. For example, don't wear a fancy dress and heels if the two of you are casually hanging out for a movie on the couch.
1-8. Give them time and space to be with their friends and family.
Don’t smother the person you’re dating! Following them around all day or forcing them to talk to you all day every day will only leave them feeling annoyed. If they start to push you away or make sarcastic comments about how you’re always around, that’s a sign that you need to take a step back and let them do their thing!
For instance, if they’re going to hang out with their group of friends and doesn’t directly invite you, don’t try to tag along. Tell them to have a great time and go hang out with your own friends.
1-9. Introduce them to your parents and, if possible, meet theirs.
Introducing them to your parents will let them know that you’re proud of who they are. It will also let them see a side of you that they might not get to see at school or any other time your parents aren’t around. Sharing your parents with each other will strengthen your relationship.
You might ask, “My parents said they’re excited to meet you! Do you want to come over for dinner on Thursday?”
Don’t force them to introduce you to their parents. Let them meet yours first and maybe they’ll reciprocate by inviting you over to meet theirs.
2. Communicating With the Person You’re Dating
2-1. Talk openly about any expectations the two of you have.
Ask them questions about your relationship so you know what they expect from you as a girlfriend. Even if you're worried it’ll be an awkward conversation, remember that talking openly will keep extremely awkward and uncomfortable situations from happening in the future.
For example, you might ask, “Do you think we should plan to go on a date every weekend?” or “How often do you think we should talk on the phone?”
2-2. Share your thoughts and feelings with the person you’re dating.
A relationship is all about communication, so speak openly about what you’re thinking and feeling. It will also open the door for them to share their thoughts and feelings with you, which will strengthen your relationship.
For instance, if you’re feeling upset about something at home, you might say something like, “I feel kind of depressed because my parents have been really mad at each other all week. Do your parents fight a lot?”
Don’t say things you don’t mean (like “I love you”) just because you think it’s what a girlfriend should do. Be honest about your feelings!
Don’t think you have to share all of your deepest darkest secrets with them. If you really trust them, share away! But if you have any doubts, keep it to yourself.
2-3. Talk openly about any issues between the two of you.
If your relationship has hit a rough patch, talk it out! Even a few words could be a relationship saver. It’s best to talk to them in person, but if you're not brave enough to bring it up, text them or chat online.
If you plan to talk in person, send them a text saying, “Can you meet me at the bell tower after school to talk?” or “We need to talk about something. Can I call you later tonight?”
3. Avoiding Relationship Pitfalls
3-1. Remember that you deserve all of these things from your partner, too!
A relationship is not one-sided, and you should never feel resentment for the things you do to be a good girlfriend. While not everyone can do all things equally, you should be on equal footing in your relationship. They should support you, and care for you, too!
3-2. Don’t be mean to the person you’re dating.
A lot of middle school relationships might start out with playful teasing as a form of flirtation, and that’s okay. However, don’t let innocent teasing become back-and-forth bullying. A relationship where two people are mostly mean to each other is not healthy.
If your partner is mean to you on a regular basis, avoid being mean back and say something like, “If you don’t stop saying those things to me, I’m not going to be your girlfriend or your friend anymore.”
3-3. Don't cheat on them as a way to break up or make them mad.
If you want to break up with the person you’re dating, it’s better to tell them directly. Cheating on them to avoid having a hard conversation will come off as cowardly. And if they did something to make you mad, don’t cheat on them in order to exact revenge—it will only make you look bad!
Even if they cheated on you (or threatened to), it’s not okay to cheat on them! If you can’t talk through your issues, it might be time to break up.
3-4. Don't criticize their friends and family.
Avoid saying mean things about people they care about because doing so might cause them to push you away. Be supportive of them and the people they love. And if you don’t really like their friends, don’t hang out with them and keep it to yourself.
If they invite you to hang out with them and their friends and you’re not sure whether you like them or not, give them a chance. Try to find something you have in common and go from there.
If anyone they are close to (from their grandmother to another friend) is mean to you, feel free to share that with them. They might be able to talk to that person, or they might realize that someone they thought was a friend is not so nice.
3-5. Don’t give in to peer pressure to act a certain way or do certain things.
If other couples your age are doing physically intimate things you’re not ready for, don’t force yourself to do those things to fit in or “please” them. It will only cause you to feel resentful and lead to a sour breakup.
If the person you’re dating is pressuring you to have sex or take drugs, you should tell them honestly if you don't want to (if you’re not ready or that’s not something you’re into). A good partner will understand and respect your decisions.
Tips
Joke around with them—there’s nothing cuter than a girl that has a good sense of humor.
Make sure they like you for your personality, not just your looks.
Keep in touch with them if one of you is sick or out of town.
Warnings
Don’t blackmail the person you’re dating into doing things or staying in the relationship.
Don’t become obsessive or stalk your partner when they’re not with you.
Don't spread bad rumors about them. Even if you don't think they're bad.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Building a Stronger Bond\\n1-1. Be yourself around the person you’re dating.\\nLet them know the real you so the two of you can build an open, honest relationship. What’s the point of dating someone if you have to fake it all the time? If they don’t like and respect who you are, then they’re not right for you anyway.\\nFor example, if you’re into a certain type of music that isn’t popular among other people your age, listen to it anyway and be proud that you have such a unique taste for music!\\n1-2. Surprise them with little things to keep it interesting and show you care.\\nKeep your relationship fresh by surprising the person you’re dating with simple gifts and gestures. Surprising them on occasion will show them how thoughtful you are and how much they mean to you.\\nFor example, if you know their favorite band, surprise them with a cool t-shirt!\\nAs another example, plant a little treat or sweet note in their locker at school.\\n1-3. Express interest in their interests and passions.\\nAsking questions and talking to them about their favorite things will show that you care about them and want to share in their passions. For example, if the person you’re dating is really into graphic novels, you might ask, \\\"Who's your favorite character in this one?\\\" or \\\"That's an interesting cover design, can you show me some cool art from that one?\\\"\\nHowever, don’t pretend to be into something just because they’re into it. Be honest and say something like, “I can’t really get into graphic novels but I love how passionate you are about the stories and the art.”\\nBe a good listener whenever they share something with you. A lot of people don't take the time to listen, so it's really nice when someone does.\\n1-4. Support their ambitions.\\nEncourage them to pursue the things that they are interested in doing, and help them challenge themself and motivate themself in the direction of their goals.\\nRemember, there's a difference between being supportive and being pushy. Give them suggestions, advice, and moral support, but let them follow their own ideas too!\\n1-5. Give them compliments to show them that you admire them.\\nTell the person you’re dating what you like about them to make them feel good and show them that you care. For instance, if they scored a goal during a soccer game, you might say, “You’re so athletic, great job!” Or, if they did something nice for someone else, you could say something like, “That was really sweet of you. I’m lucky to have you!”\\nKeep your compliments genuine and original. \\\"You have great style\\\" \\\"You're really eloquent when you talk\\\" and \\\"You have some great ideas\\\" are all great compliments.\\nDon’t overdo it! Giving anyone too many compliments can come off as fake or desperate.\\n1-6. Show the person you’re dating affection with hugs, cuddles, and kisses.\\nTake opportunities to hold their hand, hug them, or cuddle them. It might feel awkward at first if you’re both shy, but a little contact will establish a sense of physical closeness that will strengthen your bond.\\nMake sure they’re comfortable with physical closeness by asking first. For example, you might say, “Do you want to hold hands?” or “Can I kiss you?”\\nIf the person you’re dating is already a touchy-feely person, feel free to go in for a surprise kiss if you want to!\\nIf you’re not comfortable with touching or kissing but they are, let them know that you’re not there yet. If they’re a good partner, they’ll understand.\\n1-7. Put effort into your appearance to impress the person you’re dating.\\nPut a little effort into your outfit and grooming to show them that you want them to be physically attracted to you. After all, you probably want them to try to impress you too!\\nFor example, style your hair and wear a flattering outfit. If they got you a shirt, accessories, or any other wearable gift, wear it around them to show your appreciation.\\nDon't go overboard and keep your style appropriate for the occasion. For example, don't wear a fancy dress and heels if the two of you are casually hanging out for a movie on the couch.\\n1-8. Give them time and space to be with their friends and family.\\nDon’t smother the person you’re dating! Following them around all day or forcing them to talk to you all day every day will only leave them feeling annoyed. If they start to push you away or make sarcastic comments about how you’re always around, that’s a sign that you need to take a step back and let them do their thing!\\nFor instance, if they’re going to hang out with their group of friends and doesn’t directly invite you, don’t try to tag along. Tell them to have a great time and go hang out with your own friends.\\n1-9. Introduce them to your parents and, if possible, meet theirs.\\nIntroducing them to your parents will let them know that you’re proud of who they are. It will also let them see a side of you that they might not get to see at school or any other time your parents aren’t around. Sharing your parents with each other will strengthen your relationship.\\nYou might ask, “My parents said they’re excited to meet you! Do you want to come over for dinner on Thursday?”\\nDon’t force them to introduce you to their parents. Let them meet yours first and maybe they’ll reciprocate by inviting you over to meet theirs.\\n2. Communicating With the Person You’re Dating\\n2-1. Talk openly about any expectations the two of you have.\\nAsk them questions about your relationship so you know what they expect from you as a girlfriend. Even if you're worried it’ll be an awkward conversation, remember that talking openly will keep extremely awkward and uncomfortable situations from happening in the future.\\nFor example, you might ask, “Do you think we should plan to go on a date every weekend?” or “How often do you think we should talk on the phone?”\\n2-2. Share your thoughts and feelings with the person you’re dating.\\nA relationship is all about communication, so speak openly about what you’re thinking and feeling. It will also open the door for them to share their thoughts and feelings with you, which will strengthen your relationship.\\nFor instance, if you’re feeling upset about something at home, you might say something like, “I feel kind of depressed because my parents have been really mad at each other all week. Do your parents fight a lot?”\\nDon’t say things you don’t mean (like “I love you”) just because you think it’s what a girlfriend should do. Be honest about your feelings!\\nDon’t think you have to share all of your deepest darkest secrets with them. If you really trust them, share away! But if you have any doubts, keep it to yourself.\\n2-3. Talk openly about any issues between the two of you.\\nIf your relationship has hit a rough patch, talk it out! Even a few words could be a relationship saver. It’s best to talk to them in person, but if you're not brave enough to bring it up, text them or chat online.\\nIf you plan to talk in person, send them a text saying, “Can you meet me at the bell tower after school to talk?” or “We need to talk about something. Can I call you later tonight?”\\n3. Avoiding Relationship Pitfalls\\n3-1. Remember that you deserve all of these things from your partner, too!\\nA relationship is not one-sided, and you should never feel resentment for the things you do to be a good girlfriend. While not everyone can do all things equally, you should be on equal footing in your relationship. They should support you, and care for you, too!\\n3-2. Don’t be mean to the person you’re dating.\\nA lot of middle school relationships might start out with playful teasing as a form of flirtation, and that’s okay. However, don’t let innocent teasing become back-and-forth bullying. A relationship where two people are mostly mean to each other is not healthy.\\nIf your partner is mean to you on a regular basis, avoid being mean back and say something like, “If you don’t stop saying those things to me, I’m not going to be your girlfriend or your friend anymore.”\\n3-3. Don't cheat on them as a way to break up or make them mad.\\nIf you want to break up with the person you’re dating, it’s better to tell them directly. Cheating on them to avoid having a hard conversation will come off as cowardly. And if they did something to make you mad, don’t cheat on them in order to exact revenge—it will only make you look bad!\\nEven if they cheated on you (or threatened to), it’s not okay to cheat on them! If you can’t talk through your issues, it might be time to break up.\\n3-4. Don't criticize their friends and family.\\nAvoid saying mean things about people they care about because doing so might cause them to push you away. Be supportive of them and the people they love. And if you don’t really like their friends, don’t hang out with them and keep it to yourself.\\nIf they invite you to hang out with them and their friends and you’re not sure whether you like them or not, give them a chance. Try to find something you have in common and go from there.\\nIf anyone they are close to (from their grandmother to another friend) is mean to you, feel free to share that with them. They might be able to talk to that person, or they might realize that someone they thought was a friend is not so nice.\\n3-5. Don’t give in to peer pressure to act a certain way or do certain things.\\nIf other couples your age are doing physically intimate things you’re not ready for, don’t force yourself to do those things to fit in or “please” them. It will only cause you to feel resentful and lead to a sour breakup.\\nIf the person you’re dating is pressuring you to have sex or take drugs, you should tell them honestly if you don't want to (if you’re not ready or that’s not something you’re into). A good partner will understand and respect your decisions.\\nTips\\nJoke around with them—there’s nothing cuter than a girl that has a good sense of humor.\\nMake sure they like you for your personality, not just your looks.\\nKeep in touch with them if one of you is sick or out of town.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t blackmail the person you’re dating into doing things or staying in the relationship.\\nDon’t become obsessive or stalk your partner when they’re not with you.\\nDon't spread bad rumors about them. Even if you don't think they're bad.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Middle school is a time to have fun, so if you're in a relationship, you probably want it to be as drama-free as possible! We have tips to help you be the best girlfriend you can be while still staying true to yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Building a Stronger Bond\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be yourself around the person you’re dating.\", \"描述\": \"Let them know the real you so the two of you can build an open, honest relationship. What’s the point of dating someone if you have to fake it all the time? If they don’t like and respect who you are, then they’re not right for you anyway.\\nFor example, if you’re into a certain type of music that isn’t popular among other people your age, listen to it anyway and be proud that you have such a unique taste for music!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Surprise them with little things to keep it interesting and show you care.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your relationship fresh by surprising the person you’re dating with simple gifts and gestures. Surprising them on occasion will show them how thoughtful you are and how much they mean to you.\\nFor example, if you know their favorite band, surprise them with a cool t-shirt!\\nAs another example, plant a little treat or sweet note in their locker at school.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Express interest in their interests and passions.\", \"描述\": \"Asking questions and talking to them about their favorite things will show that you care about them and want to share in their passions. For example, if the person you’re dating is really into graphic novels, you might ask, \\\"Who's your favorite character in this one?\\\" or \\\"That's an interesting cover design, can you show me some cool art from that one?\\\"\\nHowever, don’t pretend to be into something just because they’re into it. Be honest and say something like, “I can’t really get into graphic novels but I love how passionate you are about the stories and the art.”\\nBe a good listener whenever they share something with you. A lot of people don't take the time to listen, so it's really nice when someone does.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Support their ambitions.\", \"描述\": \"Encourage them to pursue the things that they are interested in doing, and help them challenge themself and motivate themself in the direction of their goals.\\nRemember, there's a difference between being supportive and being pushy. Give them suggestions, advice, and moral support, but let them follow their own ideas too!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give them compliments to show them that you admire them.\", \"描述\": \"Tell the person you’re dating what you like about them to make them feel good and show them that you care. For instance, if they scored a goal during a soccer game, you might say, “You’re so athletic, great job!” Or, if they did something nice for someone else, you could say something like, “That was really sweet of you. I’m lucky to have you!”\\nKeep your compliments genuine and original. \\\"You have great style\\\" \\\"You're really eloquent when you talk\\\" and \\\"You have some great ideas\\\" are all great compliments.\\nDon’t overdo it! Giving anyone too many compliments can come off as fake or desperate.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Show the person you’re dating affection with hugs, cuddles, and kisses.\", \"描述\": \"Take opportunities to hold their hand, hug them, or cuddle them. It might feel awkward at first if you’re both shy, but a little contact will establish a sense of physical closeness that will strengthen your bond.\\nMake sure they’re comfortable with physical closeness by asking first. For example, you might say, “Do you want to hold hands?” or “Can I kiss you?”\\nIf the person you’re dating is already a touchy-feely person, feel free to go in for a surprise kiss if you want to!\\nIf you’re not comfortable with touching or kissing but they are, let them know that you’re not there yet. If they’re a good partner, they’ll understand.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Put effort into your appearance to impress the person you’re dating.\", \"描述\": \"Put a little effort into your outfit and grooming to show them that you want them to be physically attracted to you. After all, you probably want them to try to impress you too!\\nFor example, style your hair and wear a flattering outfit. If they got you a shirt, accessories, or any other wearable gift, wear it around them to show your appreciation.\\nDon't go overboard and keep your style appropriate for the occasion. For example, don't wear a fancy dress and heels if the two of you are casually hanging out for a movie on the couch.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Give them time and space to be with their friends and family.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t smother the person you’re dating! Following them around all day or forcing them to talk to you all day every day will only leave them feeling annoyed. If they start to push you away or make sarcastic comments about how you’re always around, that’s a sign that you need to take a step back and let them do their thing!\\nFor instance, if they’re going to hang out with their group of friends and doesn’t directly invite you, don’t try to tag along. Tell them to have a great time and go hang out with your own friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Introduce them to your parents and, if possible, meet theirs.\", \"描述\": \"Introducing them to your parents will let them know that you’re proud of who they are. It will also let them see a side of you that they might not get to see at school or any other time your parents aren’t around. Sharing your parents with each other will strengthen your relationship.\\nYou might ask, “My parents said they’re excited to meet you! Do you want to come over for dinner on Thursday?”\\nDon’t force them to introduce you to their parents. Let them meet yours first and maybe they’ll reciprocate by inviting you over to meet theirs.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicating With the Person You’re Dating\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk openly about any expectations the two of you have.\", \"描述\": \"Ask them questions about your relationship so you know what they expect from you as a girlfriend. Even if you're worried it’ll be an awkward conversation, remember that talking openly will keep extremely awkward and uncomfortable situations from happening in the future.\\nFor example, you might ask, “Do you think we should plan to go on a date every weekend?” or “How often do you think we should talk on the phone?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Share your thoughts and feelings with the person you’re dating.\", \"描述\": \"A relationship is all about communication, so speak openly about what you’re thinking and feeling. It will also open the door for them to share their thoughts and feelings with you, which will strengthen your relationship.\\nFor instance, if you’re feeling upset about something at home, you might say something like, “I feel kind of depressed because my parents have been really mad at each other all week. Do your parents fight a lot?”\\nDon’t say things you don’t mean (like “I love you”) just because you think it’s what a girlfriend should do. Be honest about your feelings!\\nDon’t think you have to share all of your deepest darkest secrets with them. If you really trust them, share away! But if you have any doubts, keep it to yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk openly about any issues between the two of you.\", \"描述\": \"If your relationship has hit a rough patch, talk it out! Even a few words could be a relationship saver. It’s best to talk to them in person, but if you're not brave enough to bring it up, text them or chat online.\\nIf you plan to talk in person, send them a text saying, “Can you meet me at the bell tower after school to talk?” or “We need to talk about something. Can I call you later tonight?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Relationship Pitfalls\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that you deserve all of these things from your partner, too!\", \"描述\": \"A relationship is not one-sided, and you should never feel resentment for the things you do to be a good girlfriend. While not everyone can do all things equally, you should be on equal footing in your relationship. They should support you, and care for you, too!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t be mean to the person you’re dating.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of middle school relationships might start out with playful teasing as a form of flirtation, and that’s okay. However, don’t let innocent teasing become back-and-forth bullying. A relationship where two people are mostly mean to each other is not healthy.\\nIf your partner is mean to you on a regular basis, avoid being mean back and say something like, “If you don’t stop saying those things to me, I’m not going to be your girlfriend or your friend anymore.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't cheat on them as a way to break up or make them mad.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to break up with the person you’re dating, it’s better to tell them directly. Cheating on them to avoid having a hard conversation will come off as cowardly. And if they did something to make you mad, don’t cheat on them in order to exact revenge—it will only make you look bad!\\nEven if they cheated on you (or threatened to), it’s not okay to cheat on them! If you can’t talk through your issues, it might be time to break up.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't criticize their friends and family.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid saying mean things about people they care about because doing so might cause them to push you away. Be supportive of them and the people they love. And if you don’t really like their friends, don’t hang out with them and keep it to yourself.\\nIf they invite you to hang out with them and their friends and you’re not sure whether you like them or not, give them a chance. Try to find something you have in common and go from there.\\nIf anyone they are close to (from their grandmother to another friend) is mean to you, feel free to share that with them. They might be able to talk to that person, or they might realize that someone they thought was a friend is not so nice.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t give in to peer pressure to act a certain way or do certain things.\", \"描述\": \"If other couples your age are doing physically intimate things you’re not ready for, don’t force yourself to do those things to fit in or “please” them. It will only cause you to feel resentful and lead to a sour breakup.\\nIf the person you’re dating is pressuring you to have sex or take drugs, you should tell them honestly if you don't want to (if you’re not ready or that’s not something you’re into). A good partner will understand and respect your decisions.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Joke around with them—there’s nothing cuter than a girl that has a good sense of humor.\\n\", \"Make sure they like you for your personality, not just your looks.\\n\", \"Keep in touch with them if one of you is sick or out of town.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t blackmail the person you’re dating into doing things or staying in the relationship.\\n\", \"Don’t become obsessive or stalk your partner when they’re not with you.\\n\", \"Don't spread bad rumors about them. Even if you don't think they're bad.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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How to Be a Good Grandmother
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1. Spending Time with Your Grandchildren
1-1. Have a solid game plan.
It can be a really helpful thing to know what to do with your grandchildren when they arrive. If you want to go on an outing, you might need to suggest certain clothing, and even ask for financial help if needed, even before the grandchildren arrive. It is also a good idea to check opening times, session times and transportation timetables to make sure that everything is sorted in advance. When you make your plan for the day, however, take some time for resting and decompressing into account, too. You don’t want your grandchild to get too tuckered out.
Try to do something with your grandkids that their parents wouldn’t normally do with them. Take them to a new part of town they haven’t seen, or teach them something their parents don’t know how to do, whether it’s watercolor painting or jewelry making. This will make your time together all the more special and memorable.
1-2. Unplan.
That's right — don't make plans sometimes. Let your grandchildren see what you normally do around the house and learn by watching. Often they will be interested enough to pitch in and help you, all the while holding fascinating conversations with you. Treasure these times because they hold the essence of intergenerational bonding. They may be interested in watching you cook, helping out in the garden, walking your dog with you, or even in checking out your favorite TV show.
Your grandchildren will be used to life at their own household and will inherently be interested in the way you run yours. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to create a fun day for them; it’ll happen naturally.
That said, it’s good to have a back-up activity, such as a movie to watch or a pie to bake, just in case your grandchild gets restless and really wants to do something.
1-3. Teach them about the world.
Pass on your experience through your stories about what you have done and seen. Don't be afraid to share the "strangeness" of the past. To their ears it may be strange now but in the future, they will come to see your past as being as special as theirs, and in some small way, they will understand both you and humanity all the better for your having shared how life was when you grew up. You're the best record of what happened, so share it with them generously.
Tell them about your life and experiences and how they have informed your outlook. Let them know how much the world has changed since you were raised in it, what you did for a living, and which vital skills they’ll need for a successful life.
Pass on any life lessons you have learned, from how to have a happy marriage to how to manage your home. You may not want to give this information all at once or your grandchildren won’t be listening; instead, dole out this information little by little, and make sure it sticks.
Tell them to ask you any questions about your life or your past they may be curious about. The conversation doesn’t have to be one-sided.
1-4. Tell them about your family history.
Though your grandchildren may not be super interested in the details of their family history when they’re younger, you should make a point of telling them about their family history so that they have a stronger sense of who they are. Sit them down with an album and show them who is who in the family lineage. Don’t just point, but make the people come alive by telling anecdotes and memorable stories about each person in your family, so your grandchildren feel invested in them even though they are long gone.
You can even take it one step further and write it down. Give your grandkids a record of their family that they can cherish for all time.
Again, some younger kids may not have the patience or interest to care about their family history yet. You can try to sneak this information into your everyday conversation and activities so that they learn the truth in little, digestible bits and pieces.
1-5. Have your grandchildren teach you something.
Your relationship with your grandchild doesn’t have to be one-sided. Times are changing fast, and one thing you can do to make your grandchild feel special is to ask him or her to educate you about what’s going on in the world, from the latest trends in music to Facebook or Twitter. If you’re tech savvy, then you can ask your grandchildren to tell you about fashion or what their friends talk about, these days. Show a genuine interest in their world and they will open up to you.
People love being teachers, and your grandkids will get even more excited to hang out with you if they know that they’ll have important knowledge to share with you.
Make sure you thank them for teaching you something. Show that you appreciate their help.
1-6. Be there for the milestones.
One thing you can do is to make sure that you’re there for the important moments in your grandchild’s life, from birthdays to elementary school graduations. Though you may not be able to always be there, especially if you live far away, you should make a point of being there for the important moments when you can. Your grandchildren will remember those big moments in their lives, and it’ll be important for them to remember your presence during those times.
Your grandchildren will turn to you for love and support, not criticism. Give them love and support on their big days and show them how proud you are of them, even if you would have done things differently.
1-7. Don’t forget to make time for yourself.
This is something to keep in mind even before your grandchild is born. You aren't there to provide a never-ending source of babysitting and it is important to set the boundaries at the outset. Make it clear that you love your children and the grandchildren and that there are plenty of occasions for visits, but also make it clear when it is not OK to have the grandchildren staying over or being dropped off regularly. In this way, you will be able to enjoy the time spent with your grandchildren one hundred percent instead of feeling resentment or exhaustion.
Don’t assume that you’re going to be a constant babysitter and at the parents’ beck and call as soon as the baby is born. You can give them the time you want to spend, but plan for the help you’ll give in advance instead of being “on call.”
If you don’t feel like you’re forced or pressured into hanging out with your grandchild, then your relationship will be much stronger for it.
2. Caring for Your Grandchildren
2-1. Make a big deal of them.
You cannot spoil children. You can unintentionally teach them that consuming too much is a good thing, which you'd never do, right? Teach them good values, like gratitude, respect, and patience and don't overload them with "stuff". Instead, smother them with praise. Notice all the good that they do and be vociferous and specific about it when you spot it. And give them space; children are free to be a bit less restrained when they're with you. After all, they have parents to tell them off all the time. Every time you see them, give them a big hug and let them know that you love them and they are safe with you.
Though you can criticize their behavior occasionally if they misbehave in your presence, you should focus on being a source of joy and positivity. They already live with one or two parents who want to teach them right from wrong, and while you don’t want to go against their ideas, you shouldn’t be too stringent, either.
Of course, you shouldn’t let your grandchild follow completely different rules in your presence, or he or she will be confused about which rules are “right”. Still, you should go easy on your grandchildren and focus on praising them and letting them know how special they are.
Be specific when you praise them. Saying "I love how you said thank you to Mrs. James," rather than "I love how polite you are" will keep the child from having an undermining thought like, "Oh Grandma doesn't know how mean I was to Sally yesterday." Specific praise will give them some solid ground on which to build their skills for living.
2-2. Remember birthdays.
On their birthday, buy them presents that are thoughtful but not overdone. Sometimes give them what they ask for; other times put a little surprise in the wrapping paper that they didn't expect. The most important thing is that you’re there for them on their big day and that you let them know how much you love them. Write them a card letting them know how much they mean to you in addition to giving them a gift.
Just make sure to check in with the parents before giving the grandchild a gift. You don’t want your gift to upstage the parents’ gift, or to be too similar too it. That could make for an awkward birthday.
2-3. Be affectionate.
Another way to show your love to your grandchildren is to shower them with affection. Give them hugs and kisses, put your arm around them, play with their hair, or just give them a reassuring touch to show them that you care. When you sit next to them, pat their knee or their hand, or just get close to show your love to them. As they get older, they may not be open to as much affection, but you should make a point of showering them with love.
Be a source of love and warmth to your grandchildren, so they know that they can come to you when they need comfort.
2-4. Listen to your grandchildren.
Take the time to hear what they have to say, and to listen to every word without interrupting. Don’t be distracted and take the time to hear them out, instead of having them talk while you’re cooking or tending to your garden. Make eye contact and let them know how much you care without giving advice until they ask for it. The most important thing is that you don’t judge them and take what they say seriously.
Sometimes, your grandkids may tell you things they don’t even tell their parents. Help them out as best you can, but let them know that there may be cases where their parents should know what’s on their mind, too.
Be affectionate when they talk to you. Put an arm around them or place a hand on their knee to reassure them.
2-5. Spoil your grandkids a little.
You already went through parenthood and had to work on disciplining your children. Now, you can relax a little and focus on having fun with your grandkids. Though some rules will need to be enforced, especially if your grandkids stay with you for a prolonged period of time, such as a summer vacation, you should work on giving your grandkids treats, making them feel special, and even letting them have that extra cookie once in a while. They should come to you for love, not to have you lay down the law.
Of course, you shouldn’t spoil them to the point where their parents are annoyed at how much flexibility you’re giving them. Find a way to make both your grandchildren and their parents happy.
3. Respecting the Parents of Your Grandchildren
3-1. Don’t give advice unless it is solicited.
Even if you’ve raised 15 children successfully and feel like you know everything there is to know about parenting, you’re going to have to seal your lips unless you’re asked for advice. Your child and his or her spouse may have some different ideas about how to raise children, and they may not want to hear every little thing you have to say about the subject. Of course, they may call upon your expertise, but you shouldn’t assume that you’re going to tell them how to do every last thing, from how to change a diaper to how to help their child grow into a responsible adult.
If you give the parents too much advice, they may pull back from you, leading to a more tense relationship between you and your grandchild.
3-2. Accept your role in your grandchild’s life.
To succeed as a grandparent, you should accept the fact that you are the grandparent, not the parent in the child’s life. Your role is to spend time with your grandchild, give advice and help to the parents when it’s needed, and to be there for the new addition to your family. The sooner you accept that you are not the grandchild’s mother, the sooner you can be on to enjoying your own unique relationship.
You shouldn’t focus on disciplining your grandchild and teaching him or her how to be an adult. Focus more on giving love, care, and support.
3-3. Maintain your own life.
You may think that you should drop everything as soon as your grandson or granddaughter arrives, but the best thing you can do is to maintain your own life while helping out the parents of the grandchild as much as you can. You want to continue having your own friends, your own social commitments, and your own hobbies if you want to succeed as a grandparent. If you drop absolutely everything to be with your grandchild, then you will be putting too much pressure on the parents.
Find a way to fit spending time with your grandchildren into your schedule without making your schedule entirely revolve around your grandchildren and the whims of their parents. Of course, there may be times when they need some last-minute help, but you shouldn’t leave your schedule wide open just in case that happens.
3-4. Help the parents out around the house.
One thing you can definitely do when there’s a new addition to your family, or even when your grandchild gets older, is to help the parents out around the house when you can. You can wash dishes, pick up groceries, occasionally cook meals, or run small errands for the father or the mother when you have time. Though you shouldn’t have to turn into their housekeeper when they have a child, helping out around the house in little ways when you have the time can make a big difference.
This can be especially helpful when your grandchild is just born and the parents are overwhelmed by their parenting duties.
3-5. Give your grandchild’s parents time to bond.
Sometimes, the thing that your child’s parents will need the most is some time alone together. While being around during family activities, celebrations, or trips can give them a helping hand, you can also find some time to be alone with your grandchild or grandchildren so that their parents can have some time to go out to dinner together or just to relax without their usual responsibilities for a little while. This can help relieve stress and to keep the parents’ relationship strong.
Give mom and dad at least one or two date nights a month. They may deny that they really need this time together, but you should stress that it’s important for them to spend time together away from their child.
Warnings
Grandchildren can sometimes throw it back at you when they get angry or don't want anyone around, but don't tell them off. Leave them for 10 minutes to calm down then sit with them and talk to them calmly and ask them what is going on and how you can help. Let them realize that grandma doesn't take nonsense but neither does she dish it out.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Spending Time with Your Grandchildren\\n1-1. Have a solid game plan.\\nIt can be a really helpful thing to know what to do with your grandchildren when they arrive. If you want to go on an outing, you might need to suggest certain clothing, and even ask for financial help if needed, even before the grandchildren arrive. It is also a good idea to check opening times, session times and transportation timetables to make sure that everything is sorted in advance. When you make your plan for the day, however, take some time for resting and decompressing into account, too. You don’t want your grandchild to get too tuckered out.\\nTry to do something with your grandkids that their parents wouldn’t normally do with them. Take them to a new part of town they haven’t seen, or teach them something their parents don’t know how to do, whether it’s watercolor painting or jewelry making. This will make your time together all the more special and memorable.\\n1-2. Unplan.\\nThat's right — don't make plans sometimes. Let your grandchildren see what you normally do around the house and learn by watching. Often they will be interested enough to pitch in and help you, all the while holding fascinating conversations with you. Treasure these times because they hold the essence of intergenerational bonding. They may be interested in watching you cook, helping out in the garden, walking your dog with you, or even in checking out your favorite TV show.\\nYour grandchildren will be used to life at their own household and will inherently be interested in the way you run yours. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to create a fun day for them; it’ll happen naturally.\\nThat said, it’s good to have a back-up activity, such as a movie to watch or a pie to bake, just in case your grandchild gets restless and really wants to do something.\\n1-3. Teach them about the world.\\nPass on your experience through your stories about what you have done and seen. Don't be afraid to share the \\\"strangeness\\\" of the past. To their ears it may be strange now but in the future, they will come to see your past as being as special as theirs, and in some small way, they will understand both you and humanity all the better for your having shared how life was when you grew up. You're the best record of what happened, so share it with them generously.\\nTell them about your life and experiences and how they have informed your outlook. Let them know how much the world has changed since you were raised in it, what you did for a living, and which vital skills they’ll need for a successful life.\\nPass on any life lessons you have learned, from how to have a happy marriage to how to manage your home. You may not want to give this information all at once or your grandchildren won’t be listening; instead, dole out this information little by little, and make sure it sticks.\\nTell them to ask you any questions about your life or your past they may be curious about. The conversation doesn’t have to be one-sided.\\n1-4. Tell them about your family history.\\nThough your grandchildren may not be super interested in the details of their family history when they’re younger, you should make a point of telling them about their family history so that they have a stronger sense of who they are. Sit them down with an album and show them who is who in the family lineage. Don’t just point, but make the people come alive by telling anecdotes and memorable stories about each person in your family, so your grandchildren feel invested in them even though they are long gone.\\nYou can even take it one step further and write it down. Give your grandkids a record of their family that they can cherish for all time.\\nAgain, some younger kids may not have the patience or interest to care about their family history yet. You can try to sneak this information into your everyday conversation and activities so that they learn the truth in little, digestible bits and pieces.\\n1-5. Have your grandchildren teach you something.\\nYour relationship with your grandchild doesn’t have to be one-sided. Times are changing fast, and one thing you can do to make your grandchild feel special is to ask him or her to educate you about what’s going on in the world, from the latest trends in music to Facebook or Twitter. If you’re tech savvy, then you can ask your grandchildren to tell you about fashion or what their friends talk about, these days. Show a genuine interest in their world and they will open up to you.\\nPeople love being teachers, and your grandkids will get even more excited to hang out with you if they know that they’ll have important knowledge to share with you.\\nMake sure you thank them for teaching you something. Show that you appreciate their help.\\n1-6. Be there for the milestones.\\nOne thing you can do is to make sure that you’re there for the important moments in your grandchild’s life, from birthdays to elementary school graduations. Though you may not be able to always be there, especially if you live far away, you should make a point of being there for the important moments when you can. Your grandchildren will remember those big moments in their lives, and it’ll be important for them to remember your presence during those times.\\nYour grandchildren will turn to you for love and support, not criticism. Give them love and support on their big days and show them how proud you are of them, even if you would have done things differently.\\n1-7. Don’t forget to make time for yourself.\\nThis is something to keep in mind even before your grandchild is born. You aren't there to provide a never-ending source of babysitting and it is important to set the boundaries at the outset. Make it clear that you love your children and the grandchildren and that there are plenty of occasions for visits, but also make it clear when it is not OK to have the grandchildren staying over or being dropped off regularly. In this way, you will be able to enjoy the time spent with your grandchildren one hundred percent instead of feeling resentment or exhaustion. \\nDon’t assume that you’re going to be a constant babysitter and at the parents’ beck and call as soon as the baby is born. You can give them the time you want to spend, but plan for the help you’ll give in advance instead of being “on call.”\\nIf you don’t feel like you’re forced or pressured into hanging out with your grandchild, then your relationship will be much stronger for it.\\n2. Caring for Your Grandchildren\\n2-1. Make a big deal of them.\\nYou cannot spoil children. You can unintentionally teach them that consuming too much is a good thing, which you'd never do, right? Teach them good values, like gratitude, respect, and patience and don't overload them with \\\"stuff\\\". Instead, smother them with praise. Notice all the good that they do and be vociferous and specific about it when you spot it. And give them space; children are free to be a bit less restrained when they're with you. After all, they have parents to tell them off all the time. Every time you see them, give them a big hug and let them know that you love them and they are safe with you.\\nThough you can criticize their behavior occasionally if they misbehave in your presence, you should focus on being a source of joy and positivity. They already live with one or two parents who want to teach them right from wrong, and while you don’t want to go against their ideas, you shouldn’t be too stringent, either.\\nOf course, you shouldn’t let your grandchild follow completely different rules in your presence, or he or she will be confused about which rules are “right”. Still, you should go easy on your grandchildren and focus on praising them and letting them know how special they are.\\nBe specific when you praise them. Saying \\\"I love how you said thank you to Mrs. James,\\\" rather than \\\"I love how polite you are\\\" will keep the child from having an undermining thought like, \\\"Oh Grandma doesn't know how mean I was to Sally yesterday.\\\" Specific praise will give them some solid ground on which to build their skills for living.\\n2-2. Remember birthdays.\\nOn their birthday, buy them presents that are thoughtful but not overdone. Sometimes give them what they ask for; other times put a little surprise in the wrapping paper that they didn't expect. The most important thing is that you’re there for them on their big day and that you let them know how much you love them. Write them a card letting them know how much they mean to you in addition to giving them a gift.\\nJust make sure to check in with the parents before giving the grandchild a gift. You don’t want your gift to upstage the parents’ gift, or to be too similar too it. That could make for an awkward birthday.\\n2-3. Be affectionate.\\nAnother way to show your love to your grandchildren is to shower them with affection. Give them hugs and kisses, put your arm around them, play with their hair, or just give them a reassuring touch to show them that you care. When you sit next to them, pat their knee or their hand, or just get close to show your love to them. As they get older, they may not be open to as much affection, but you should make a point of showering them with love.\\nBe a source of love and warmth to your grandchildren, so they know that they can come to you when they need comfort.\\n2-4. Listen to your grandchildren.\\nTake the time to hear what they have to say, and to listen to every word without interrupting. Don’t be distracted and take the time to hear them out, instead of having them talk while you’re cooking or tending to your garden. Make eye contact and let them know how much you care without giving advice until they ask for it. The most important thing is that you don’t judge them and take what they say seriously.\\nSometimes, your grandkids may tell you things they don’t even tell their parents. Help them out as best you can, but let them know that there may be cases where their parents should know what’s on their mind, too.\\nBe affectionate when they talk to you. Put an arm around them or place a hand on their knee to reassure them.\\n2-5. Spoil your grandkids a little.\\nYou already went through parenthood and had to work on disciplining your children. Now, you can relax a little and focus on having fun with your grandkids. Though some rules will need to be enforced, especially if your grandkids stay with you for a prolonged period of time, such as a summer vacation, you should work on giving your grandkids treats, making them feel special, and even letting them have that extra cookie once in a while. They should come to you for love, not to have you lay down the law.\\nOf course, you shouldn’t spoil them to the point where their parents are annoyed at how much flexibility you’re giving them. Find a way to make both your grandchildren and their parents happy.\\n3. Respecting the Parents of Your Grandchildren\\n3-1. Don’t give advice unless it is solicited.\\nEven if you’ve raised 15 children successfully and feel like you know everything there is to know about parenting, you’re going to have to seal your lips unless you’re asked for advice. Your child and his or her spouse may have some different ideas about how to raise children, and they may not want to hear every little thing you have to say about the subject. Of course, they may call upon your expertise, but you shouldn’t assume that you’re going to tell them how to do every last thing, from how to change a diaper to how to help their child grow into a responsible adult. \\nIf you give the parents too much advice, they may pull back from you, leading to a more tense relationship between you and your grandchild.\\n3-2. Accept your role in your grandchild’s life.\\nTo succeed as a grandparent, you should accept the fact that you are the grandparent, not the parent in the child’s life. Your role is to spend time with your grandchild, give advice and help to the parents when it’s needed, and to be there for the new addition to your family. The sooner you accept that you are not the grandchild’s mother, the sooner you can be on to enjoying your own unique relationship.\\nYou shouldn’t focus on disciplining your grandchild and teaching him or her how to be an adult. Focus more on giving love, care, and support.\\n3-3. Maintain your own life.\\nYou may think that you should drop everything as soon as your grandson or granddaughter arrives, but the best thing you can do is to maintain your own life while helping out the parents of the grandchild as much as you can. You want to continue having your own friends, your own social commitments, and your own hobbies if you want to succeed as a grandparent. If you drop absolutely everything to be with your grandchild, then you will be putting too much pressure on the parents. \\nFind a way to fit spending time with your grandchildren into your schedule without making your schedule entirely revolve around your grandchildren and the whims of their parents. Of course, there may be times when they need some last-minute help, but you shouldn’t leave your schedule wide open just in case that happens.\\n3-4. Help the parents out around the house.\\nOne thing you can definitely do when there’s a new addition to your family, or even when your grandchild gets older, is to help the parents out around the house when you can. You can wash dishes, pick up groceries, occasionally cook meals, or run small errands for the father or the mother when you have time. Though you shouldn’t have to turn into their housekeeper when they have a child, helping out around the house in little ways when you have the time can make a big difference.\\nThis can be especially helpful when your grandchild is just born and the parents are overwhelmed by their parenting duties.\\n3-5. Give your grandchild’s parents time to bond.\\nSometimes, the thing that your child’s parents will need the most is some time alone together. While being around during family activities, celebrations, or trips can give them a helping hand, you can also find some time to be alone with your grandchild or grandchildren so that their parents can have some time to go out to dinner together or just to relax without their usual responsibilities for a little while. This can help relieve stress and to keep the parents’ relationship strong.\\nGive mom and dad at least one or two date nights a month. They may deny that they really need this time together, but you should stress that it’s important for them to spend time together away from their child.\\nWarnings\\nGrandchildren can sometimes throw it back at you when they get angry or don't want anyone around, but don't tell them off. Leave them for 10 minutes to calm down then sit with them and talk to them calmly and ask them what is going on and how you can help. Let them realize that grandma doesn't take nonsense but neither does she dish it out.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A good grandmother knows how to make her grandchildren feel special while teaching them a thing or two about the world. She also can provide a different role than the grandchild's parents and doesn't overstep her bounds. The trick to being a good grandmother lies in bonding with your grandchild while developing a fun-loving, dynamic relationship that involves lots of warmth, care, and love.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spending Time with Your Grandchildren\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a solid game plan.\", \"描述\": \"It can be a really helpful thing to know what to do with your grandchildren when they arrive. If you want to go on an outing, you might need to suggest certain clothing, and even ask for financial help if needed, even before the grandchildren arrive. It is also a good idea to check opening times, session times and transportation timetables to make sure that everything is sorted in advance. When you make your plan for the day, however, take some time for resting and decompressing into account, too. You don’t want your grandchild to get too tuckered out.\\nTry to do something with your grandkids that their parents wouldn’t normally do with them. Take them to a new part of town they haven’t seen, or teach them something their parents don’t know how to do, whether it’s watercolor painting or jewelry making. This will make your time together all the more special and memorable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Unplan.\", \"描述\": \"That's right — don't make plans sometimes. Let your grandchildren see what you normally do around the house and learn by watching. Often they will be interested enough to pitch in and help you, all the while holding fascinating conversations with you. Treasure these times because they hold the essence of intergenerational bonding. They may be interested in watching you cook, helping out in the garden, walking your dog with you, or even in checking out your favorite TV show.\\nYour grandchildren will be used to life at their own household and will inherently be interested in the way you run yours. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to create a fun day for them; it’ll happen naturally.\\nThat said, it’s good to have a back-up activity, such as a movie to watch or a pie to bake, just in case your grandchild gets restless and really wants to do something.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Teach them about the world.\", \"描述\": \"Pass on your experience through your stories about what you have done and seen. Don't be afraid to share the \\\"strangeness\\\" of the past. To their ears it may be strange now but in the future, they will come to see your past as being as special as theirs, and in some small way, they will understand both you and humanity all the better for your having shared how life was when you grew up. You're the best record of what happened, so share it with them generously.\\nTell them about your life and experiences and how they have informed your outlook. Let them know how much the world has changed since you were raised in it, what you did for a living, and which vital skills they’ll need for a successful life.\\nPass on any life lessons you have learned, from how to have a happy marriage to how to manage your home. You may not want to give this information all at once or your grandchildren won’t be listening; instead, dole out this information little by little, and make sure it sticks.\\nTell them to ask you any questions about your life or your past they may be curious about. The conversation doesn’t have to be one-sided.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell them about your family history.\", \"描述\": \"Though your grandchildren may not be super interested in the details of their family history when they’re younger, you should make a point of telling them about their family history so that they have a stronger sense of who they are. Sit them down with an album and show them who is who in the family lineage. Don’t just point, but make the people come alive by telling anecdotes and memorable stories about each person in your family, so your grandchildren feel invested in them even though they are long gone.\\nYou can even take it one step further and write it down. Give your grandkids a record of their family that they can cherish for all time.\\nAgain, some younger kids may not have the patience or interest to care about their family history yet. You can try to sneak this information into your everyday conversation and activities so that they learn the truth in little, digestible bits and pieces.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have your grandchildren teach you something.\", \"描述\": \"Your relationship with your grandchild doesn’t have to be one-sided. Times are changing fast, and one thing you can do to make your grandchild feel special is to ask him or her to educate you about what’s going on in the world, from the latest trends in music to Facebook or Twitter. If you’re tech savvy, then you can ask your grandchildren to tell you about fashion or what their friends talk about, these days. Show a genuine interest in their world and they will open up to you.\\nPeople love being teachers, and your grandkids will get even more excited to hang out with you if they know that they’ll have important knowledge to share with you.\\nMake sure you thank them for teaching you something. Show that you appreciate their help.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be there for the milestones.\", \"描述\": \"One thing you can do is to make sure that you’re there for the important moments in your grandchild’s life, from birthdays to elementary school graduations. Though you may not be able to always be there, especially if you live far away, you should make a point of being there for the important moments when you can. Your grandchildren will remember those big moments in their lives, and it’ll be important for them to remember your presence during those times.\\nYour grandchildren will turn to you for love and support, not criticism. Give them love and support on their big days and show them how proud you are of them, even if you would have done things differently.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t forget to make time for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"This is something to keep in mind even before your grandchild is born. You aren't there to provide a never-ending source of babysitting and it is important to set the boundaries at the outset. Make it clear that you love your children and the grandchildren and that there are plenty of occasions for visits, but also make it clear when it is not OK to have the grandchildren staying over or being dropped off regularly. In this way, you will be able to enjoy the time spent with your grandchildren one hundred percent instead of feeling resentment or exhaustion. \\nDon’t assume that you’re going to be a constant babysitter and at the parents’ beck and call as soon as the baby is born. You can give them the time you want to spend, but plan for the help you’ll give in advance instead of being “on call.”\\nIf you don’t feel like you’re forced or pressured into hanging out with your grandchild, then your relationship will be much stronger for it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Caring for Your Grandchildren\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a big deal of them.\", \"描述\": \"You cannot spoil children. You can unintentionally teach them that consuming too much is a good thing, which you'd never do, right? Teach them good values, like gratitude, respect, and patience and don't overload them with \\\"stuff\\\". Instead, smother them with praise. Notice all the good that they do and be vociferous and specific about it when you spot it. And give them space; children are free to be a bit less restrained when they're with you. After all, they have parents to tell them off all the time. Every time you see them, give them a big hug and let them know that you love them and they are safe with you.\\nThough you can criticize their behavior occasionally if they misbehave in your presence, you should focus on being a source of joy and positivity. They already live with one or two parents who want to teach them right from wrong, and while you don’t want to go against their ideas, you shouldn’t be too stringent, either.\\nOf course, you shouldn’t let your grandchild follow completely different rules in your presence, or he or she will be confused about which rules are “right”. Still, you should go easy on your grandchildren and focus on praising them and letting them know how special they are.\\nBe specific when you praise them. Saying \\\"I love how you said thank you to Mrs. James,\\\" rather than \\\"I love how polite you are\\\" will keep the child from having an undermining thought like, \\\"Oh Grandma doesn't know how mean I was to Sally yesterday.\\\" Specific praise will give them some solid ground on which to build their skills for living.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember birthdays.\", \"描述\": \"On their birthday, buy them presents that are thoughtful but not overdone. Sometimes give them what they ask for; other times put a little surprise in the wrapping paper that they didn't expect. The most important thing is that you’re there for them on their big day and that you let them know how much you love them. Write them a card letting them know how much they mean to you in addition to giving them a gift.\\nJust make sure to check in with the parents before giving the grandchild a gift. You don’t want your gift to upstage the parents’ gift, or to be too similar too it. That could make for an awkward birthday.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be affectionate.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to show your love to your grandchildren is to shower them with affection. Give them hugs and kisses, put your arm around them, play with their hair, or just give them a reassuring touch to show them that you care. When you sit next to them, pat their knee or their hand, or just get close to show your love to them. As they get older, they may not be open to as much affection, but you should make a point of showering them with love.\\nBe a source of love and warmth to your grandchildren, so they know that they can come to you when they need comfort.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen to your grandchildren.\", \"描述\": \"Take the time to hear what they have to say, and to listen to every word without interrupting. Don’t be distracted and take the time to hear them out, instead of having them talk while you’re cooking or tending to your garden. Make eye contact and let them know how much you care without giving advice until they ask for it. The most important thing is that you don’t judge them and take what they say seriously.\\nSometimes, your grandkids may tell you things they don’t even tell their parents. Help them out as best you can, but let them know that there may be cases where their parents should know what’s on their mind, too.\\nBe affectionate when they talk to you. Put an arm around them or place a hand on their knee to reassure them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Spoil your grandkids a little.\", \"描述\": \"You already went through parenthood and had to work on disciplining your children. Now, you can relax a little and focus on having fun with your grandkids. Though some rules will need to be enforced, especially if your grandkids stay with you for a prolonged period of time, such as a summer vacation, you should work on giving your grandkids treats, making them feel special, and even letting them have that extra cookie once in a while. They should come to you for love, not to have you lay down the law.\\nOf course, you shouldn’t spoil them to the point where their parents are annoyed at how much flexibility you’re giving them. Find a way to make both your grandchildren and their parents happy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respecting the Parents of Your Grandchildren\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t give advice unless it is solicited.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you’ve raised 15 children successfully and feel like you know everything there is to know about parenting, you’re going to have to seal your lips unless you’re asked for advice. Your child and his or her spouse may have some different ideas about how to raise children, and they may not want to hear every little thing you have to say about the subject. Of course, they may call upon your expertise, but you shouldn’t assume that you’re going to tell them how to do every last thing, from how to change a diaper to how to help their child grow into a responsible adult. \\nIf you give the parents too much advice, they may pull back from you, leading to a more tense relationship between you and your grandchild.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept your role in your grandchild’s life.\", \"描述\": \"To succeed as a grandparent, you should accept the fact that you are the grandparent, not the parent in the child’s life. Your role is to spend time with your grandchild, give advice and help to the parents when it’s needed, and to be there for the new addition to your family. The sooner you accept that you are not the grandchild’s mother, the sooner you can be on to enjoying your own unique relationship.\\nYou shouldn’t focus on disciplining your grandchild and teaching him or her how to be an adult. Focus more on giving love, care, and support.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintain your own life.\", \"描述\": \"You may think that you should drop everything as soon as your grandson or granddaughter arrives, but the best thing you can do is to maintain your own life while helping out the parents of the grandchild as much as you can. You want to continue having your own friends, your own social commitments, and your own hobbies if you want to succeed as a grandparent. If you drop absolutely everything to be with your grandchild, then you will be putting too much pressure on the parents. \\nFind a way to fit spending time with your grandchildren into your schedule without making your schedule entirely revolve around your grandchildren and the whims of their parents. Of course, there may be times when they need some last-minute help, but you shouldn’t leave your schedule wide open just in case that happens.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Help the parents out around the house.\", \"描述\": \"One thing you can definitely do when there’s a new addition to your family, or even when your grandchild gets older, is to help the parents out around the house when you can. You can wash dishes, pick up groceries, occasionally cook meals, or run small errands for the father or the mother when you have time. Though you shouldn’t have to turn into their housekeeper when they have a child, helping out around the house in little ways when you have the time can make a big difference.\\nThis can be especially helpful when your grandchild is just born and the parents are overwhelmed by their parenting duties.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give your grandchild’s parents time to bond.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, the thing that your child’s parents will need the most is some time alone together. While being around during family activities, celebrations, or trips can give them a helping hand, you can also find some time to be alone with your grandchild or grandchildren so that their parents can have some time to go out to dinner together or just to relax without their usual responsibilities for a little while. This can help relieve stress and to keep the parents’ relationship strong.\\nGive mom and dad at least one or two date nights a month. They may deny that they really need this time together, but you should stress that it’s important for them to spend time together away from their child.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Grandchildren can sometimes throw it back at you when they get angry or don't want anyone around, but don't tell them off. Leave them for 10 minutes to calm down then sit with them and talk to them calmly and ask them what is going on and how you can help. Let them realize that grandma doesn't take nonsense but neither does she dish it out.\\n\"]}]}}",
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wikihow
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4,457 |
How to Be a Good Guitar Player
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1. Improving General Guitar Play
1-1. Dedicate time to practice guitar every day.
If you want to be a good guitar player, you need to practice as much as you can. Study after study has shown that regular, consistent practice is far more effective than big chunks here and there. Try to aim for at least 6-7 days of practice a week. That said, not all practice is created equally, and the following steps will help you make the most of your time each day you sit down.
Practice should always be focused. That means all your mental energy is on guitar, not practicing with the TV in the background.
Don't try to learn five new techniques a day -- it's much better to perfect 1-2 at a time.
The more time spent practicing, the better you'll be. This is the most important thing you can do to be a good guitarist.
1-2. Spend time each day on the "boring" technical skills necessary for good guitar players.
Shredding an incredible solo is not some skill that is trained on its own. It is the culmination of many technical exercises and hard practice. Think of the following exercises like a painter mixing up her paints -- these are the small but essential skills needed to create your art on stage. Consider just 5 minutes of the following exercises each time you practice:
Running up and down through all of your scales.
Learning 1-2 new chords and strumming them to a metronome
Repeated picking exercises (search online and find your favorites)
Speed-picking practice (alternating picking, downstrokes only, and sweeping)
1-3. Try to teach yourself your favorite songs by ear.
Learning by ear is when you teach yourself a song just by listening to it. Before the internet, this was one of the only ways to learn a song, but there is more to the activity than just memorizing the notes. Learning by ear trains you to understand the guitar intuitively -- instead of thinking about what note needs to come up, you start to think about what notes will sound right before your even play it. You ear and your fingers become synced up much more smoothly.
When learning by ear, work in small sections. Get a few notes perfectly right, then slowly add more.
Trying to get chords right is difficult, but just work slowly. Figure out all of the root notes first, then try to determine what types of chords fit into the song.
1-4. Learn to read tablature ("tab"), the most common written form of guitar music.
Tablature, or guitar tab, is a simple and intuitive way to write out guitar parts. You'll see six lines, much like a musical staff, with numbers on each line. The six lines correspond to your six strings, with your heavy E string on the bottom and your thinnest e string on the top. The numbers tell you which fret on that string to play, and you read from left to right. Thus, the following tab would tell you to "play the 3rd string, 2nd fret, then play an A minor chord:"
|e|--------|-------------|
|B|--------|------1------|
|G|------ -|------2------|
|D|---2---|------2------|
|A|--------|------0------|
|E|--------|-------------|
1-5. Supplement your practice with music theory to expand your range across the guitar.
Music theory may seem dull and boring, but it actually opens up thousands of new ideas, scales, and chords for you to use. Think of it this way -- would you rather have to memorize which chords and scales go with which, or would your rather of the blueprints to create any song you can imagine? Music theory, of course, is a huge field, but some good places to start include:
The circle of 5ths.
Major and Minor scale composition
The use of "modes."
Common chord progressions.
1-6. Refine the tone of your guitar to truly shine on stage.
While not nearly as important as technical practice and skills, good guitarists know that what they play is only part of the battle. How your guitar actually sounds, whether acoustic or electric, will help shape your tone and personal style, so take some time to research and experiment with the guitar, amp, pedals, and strings that work for you.
String gauge is an easy way to change your tone -- thicker strings sound deeper, with more bass, while thinner strings sound high and bright.
If you're an acoustic guitarist, the size of the guitar's body is the major factor in changing tone. Luckily, most music shops will let you test any guitar you want before buying.
Electric guitarists have the most freedom, as you can tinker with effects pedals and amp combinations to perfectly refine your sound.
1-7. Push yourself to learn new styles and songs outside your comfort zone.
Good music is good music no matter what genre it is, and the best guitarists know that inspiration can come from anywhere. Different types of music use chords, scales, and rhythmic ideas that you may never think of, but can open up wholly new avenues as a guitarist:
Drop the pick and play with your fingers. A pick may seem necessary, but guitar gods like Mark Knopfler and Jeff Beck prove otherwise.
Cover a few songs in a genre you don't normally play -- what does it sound like "converted" to your favorite style of music?
Try to figure out the parts for other instruments, like trumpet solos or bass lines, to get a fresh perspective of melodic composition.
If you're a lead player, write some rhythm parts (or vice versa).
1-8. Take lessons, play with a more experienced guitarist, or enroll in an online class.
Take classes, get a book, watch an instructional video, or join one-on-one lessons -- whatever teaching style you prefer, seek some outside guidance to kick-start your learning. It seems obvious, but you cannot teach yourself what you don't know. A dedicated teacher or set of lessons will help you improve much more quickly than you can on your own.
No matter what avenue you take, make sure you're still enjoying yourself. A teacher is no good for your development if they take all of the fun away.
2. Improving as a Rhythm or Solitary Guitarist
2-1. Push yourself past your most common strumming patterns.
If you've been playing guitar for any period of time, you'll likely start to notice that you naturally fall into the same strumming patterns each time you play or write a song. The best way to avoid this is to try and duplicate strumming patterns from your favorite artists, pushing yourself to widen your rhythmic tool belt.
Can you mix some single notes into your strumming? For example, a very country-western technique is to pick the root note, then strum the chord separately right afterwards.
Remember to strum both up and down when playing.
How can you use muted strings (by lifting your fingers lightly off the frets) to get a percussive sound in your strumming? Check the Violent Femmes for good examples.
2-2. Practice daily with a metronome, percussionist, or both.
A rhythm guitarist, it goes without saying, needs to be able to stay in rhythm. The problem is that a guitarist's primary training is in melody, as drummers generally provide the rhythm for you to follow along to. However -- the ability to stay perfectly and precisely in time separates the amateurs from the pros, as perfect rhythm has an indescribable ability to make people dance.
Spend at least 5-10 minutes a day on a metronome, if not the entire practice session.
Always start at a pace where you can play the notes perfectly instead of rushing through. Gradually up the tempo as you get faster.
Many metronomes can be set to click off for a few beats, forcing you to stay in time on your own before they come back in. This is a great way to test yourself.
2-3. Learn to dampen bum notes to clean up your chords.
Many times, especially with electric guitars and distortion, playing too many notes at once can sound muddled or messy. Many jazz chords require skipping strings in the middle of the chord to sound correct. Great guitarists pull this off but using the pads of their fingers to dampen the strings below the strings they're fretting. For example, the following jazz chord is formed by using the bottom of your middle finger to mute the A string, allowing you to freely strum all six strings without the A sounding out:
|e|----7----|
|B|----7----|
|G|----7----|
|D|----6----|
|A|----x----|
|E|----7----|
2-4. Teach yourself 1-2 new chords a week.
Ideally, you want chords that you can play with chords you already know, which helps you practice transitioning from one to the other. Dig deep into every chord you can find, from simple power chords to complex jazz shapes. To effectively learn a chord:
Practice forming the shape from nothing. Take your hand off the guitar, then place it down in the chord shape. Repeat until it feels automatic.
Practice getting to the chord from other chord shapes.
Play or learn a song with the chord in it.
Review your new chords each day until memorized.
2-5. Use capos to place difficult-to-sing songs into your vocal range.
A capo simply shortens the neck of the guitar, allowing you to play open chords starting at any point. This means you can change the key of a song without actually changing the shape or order of any of your chords, allowing you to play the song in any key you can sing it. Effective capo use is essential for a rhythm guitarist or singer/songwriter.
2-6. Learn the value of groove by paying close attention to bass and drum techniques.
As part of the rhythm section, you are responsible for keeping the song grooving both melodically and rhythmically. If you're in a band, you need to be locked into these other musicians so that you're always in time, hitting each note in unison to give the song power. If you're playing all alone, it's twice as important to get this groove down:
Learn the basics of bass guitar and/or drums to get more in touch with the tempo and timing aspects of rhythm guitar.
Focus on playing every note together as a rhythm section. This perfect synchronicity is the essence of a good groove.
When playing alone you have a lot more freedom with rhythm. The best way to "groove" is to know the song so well it's automatic, letting you feel the energy of the song and audience instead of thinking about the next chord.
2-7. Use dynamics, or volume control, to create unique and captivating rhythm parts.
Work on a smooth transition from dead silence to powerful strumming, or picking individual notes in between fuller chords. Your ability to modulate tone and volume is a great way to create tension and release in a song, building drama and energy.
When playing with a band, try to sync up with the drummer. When he takes some volume off, you should too.
If playing alone, use volume control to manipulate the energy of the song. Try starting slow, then building up to a triumphant or climactic song. See John Butler's "Oceans" for a good example.
2-8. Experiment with alternate tunings.
New tunings open up new sounds, new chords, and can make certain chords or progressions far easier to play. A good way to start is by learning some famous songs in other tunings -- the Led Zeppelin ("Hey Hey What Can I Do") & Rolling Stones ("You Can't Always Get What You Want") catalogs particularly good places to start. Guitarists Jimmy Page and Kieth Richards both lean heavily on alternate tunings.
Start with open tunings, which are when the guitar hits a chord without holding down any frets. This allows you to play more open notes, giving the whole song a brand new texture.
Even dropping your low-E string a half step will give you a slightly richer, deeper tone overall, as seen in Led Zeppelin's "Hey Hey What Can I Do."
3. Improving as a Lead Guitarist
3-1. Make sure your lead lines service the song, not overshadow it.
The best lead guitarists don't just know what to play, but when to play it. In particular, lead lines tend to muddle up singing, and so most guitarists tend to fill in the gaps between words instead of playing on top of them. Your goal, always, is to be a part of the song, not to try and stand out on top of it. Other strategies to consider include:
Letting your lead lines mimic the song, such as playing the melody the singer sings or synchronizing with the bass line.
Using lead lines to transition in and out of intros, choruses, bridges, etc. instead of constantly playing them.
Making each note count instead of seeing how many notes you can play.
3-2. Pay attention to a note's expression, not just the notes themselves.
For a masterclass in expression, listen to B.B. King. On paper, many of his solos don't seem that impressive. But live, when you hear the incredible emotion and tone he drips on every note, you realize why he is one of the greatest to ever live. If you focus on making each note compelling and enjoyable your solos will become exponentially better. Remember that the guitar is a physical instrument-- get physical with the strings:
Vibrato, or shaking a note back and forth, is a great way to drag a note out artfully.
Bending into and out of notes allows to literally "manhandle" the note into the tone you want.
Slides let you move gracefully around the fretboard, gliding notes into one another
Hammer-ons and pull-offs help your play quick sets of notes with extra emphasis and speed.
3-3. Build solos like stories instead of just tossing out technical fireworks.
It may sound cliche, but Jimmy Page's "Stairway to Heaven" solo is a masterclass in how to build a compelling, gripping guitar solo. Think like a storyteller -- with rising action, a climax, and a resolution. "Stairway's" solo starts slow, building power until it crescendos in the blistering licks the song is known for.
Don't ever play your best stuff first -- save it for the climax.
Restraint is key. Remember that what is hardest to play is not always what sounds best.
Find a "home base" lick to keep coming back to if you get lost in the scale. This gives your solo a recognizable structure or theme as well.
Tension is caused by contrasts -- a fast section sounds far quicker when played after a slow one.
3-4. Start improvising to your favorite songs and backing tracks.
Even if the lines and solos in your band's songs are usually written in advance, improvisation is one of the top ways to explore the fretboard and expand your musical creativity. Improvising is, naturally, a personal effort, so you can and should go about it however you'd like. Some good ways to get started include:
Look up backing tracks on YouTube, like "Blues in A-minor," to play basic scales along to.
Learn your favorite solos, then experiment with rearranging the notes in new ways over the same song.
Get a guitar partner, make up a quick chord progression, and trade solos back and forth, alternating the rhythm player.
3-5. Study rhythm guitar to immerse yourself in chords, structure, and solo ideas.
One of the biggest mistakes a lead guitarist can make is thinking they're better than or above the rhythm player. Nothing is further than the truth, as the best lead players must know chords inside and out. Think of it this way -- a chord is simply a collection of single notes all played at once, meaning all of these notes are plum for the picking in lead lines. If you know the rhythm section backward and forwards you'll be able to write unique, blistering lead lines and solos to mesh with it.
It's generally good practice to be able to play the rhythm section proficiently before crafting lead lines.
3-6. Jam with other musicians and guitarists
Music is a shared art form and one that can be learned much faster with others. You pick up tricks, share and receive new chords or scales, and learn to play on the edge of your seat. Playing with others is the closest you can get to being on stage while still practicing. Furthermore, surrounding yourself with better musicians is the fastest way to get better yourself. When jamming, remember to:
Play both rhythm and lead. No one likes a solo hog.
Ask questions if you're confused. Learn the chords in the beginning, not when it's your partner's chance to solo.
Play with the other instruments, not on top of them. When everyone is playing together, everyone sounds better.
3-7. Dive into modes -- slightly different scale forms with specific moods and tones.
A mode is simply a set of notes in the major or minor scale that you highlight instead of playing the entire scale. In a sense, they are entirely new scales to play, though they take a little study to master. Pick one below that sounds good and look it up online. Each mode emphasizes certain notes to get totally different moods and styles:
Ionian -- your basic major scale
Dorian -- a bluesy minor key sound.
Phrygian -- a Spanish-sounding minor mode
Lydian -- very close to the major scale, but with a slight cool-jazz tint
Mixolydian -- a bluesy major key sound
Aeolian -- an almost identical minor key, but playable over major chords
Locrian -- very unstable sounding mode, sometimes used in death metal and atonal jazz.
Tips
Always start by playing slowly and precisely and then building up speed. It is better to play something slowly and perfectly than quickly and sloppily.
Warnings
There are no shortcuts to becoming a good practice. The one and only road to success is through dedicated practice.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Improving General Guitar Play\\n1-1. Dedicate time to practice guitar every day.\\nIf you want to be a good guitar player, you need to practice as much as you can. Study after study has shown that regular, consistent practice is far more effective than big chunks here and there. Try to aim for at least 6-7 days of practice a week. That said, not all practice is created equally, and the following steps will help you make the most of your time each day you sit down.\\nPractice should always be focused. That means all your mental energy is on guitar, not practicing with the TV in the background.\\nDon't try to learn five new techniques a day -- it's much better to perfect 1-2 at a time.\\nThe more time spent practicing, the better you'll be. This is the most important thing you can do to be a good guitarist.\\n1-2. Spend time each day on the \\\"boring\\\" technical skills necessary for good guitar players.\\nShredding an incredible solo is not some skill that is trained on its own. It is the culmination of many technical exercises and hard practice. Think of the following exercises like a painter mixing up her paints -- these are the small but essential skills needed to create your art on stage. Consider just 5 minutes of the following exercises each time you practice:\\nRunning up and down through all of your scales.\\nLearning 1-2 new chords and strumming them to a metronome\\nRepeated picking exercises (search online and find your favorites)\\nSpeed-picking practice (alternating picking, downstrokes only, and sweeping)\\n1-3. Try to teach yourself your favorite songs by ear.\\nLearning by ear is when you teach yourself a song just by listening to it. Before the internet, this was one of the only ways to learn a song, but there is more to the activity than just memorizing the notes. Learning by ear trains you to understand the guitar intuitively -- instead of thinking about what note needs to come up, you start to think about what notes will sound right before your even play it. You ear and your fingers become synced up much more smoothly.\\nWhen learning by ear, work in small sections. Get a few notes perfectly right, then slowly add more.\\nTrying to get chords right is difficult, but just work slowly. Figure out all of the root notes first, then try to determine what types of chords fit into the song.\\n1-4. Learn to read tablature (\\\"tab\\\"), the most common written form of guitar music.\\nTablature, or guitar tab, is a simple and intuitive way to write out guitar parts. You'll see six lines, much like a musical staff, with numbers on each line. The six lines correspond to your six strings, with your heavy E string on the bottom and your thinnest e string on the top. The numbers tell you which fret on that string to play, and you read from left to right. Thus, the following tab would tell you to \\\"play the 3rd string, 2nd fret, then play an A minor chord:\\\"\\n|e|--------|-------------|\\n|B|--------|------1------|\\n|G|------ -|------2------|\\n|D|---2---|------2------|\\n|A|--------|------0------|\\n|E|--------|-------------|\\n1-5. Supplement your practice with music theory to expand your range across the guitar.\\nMusic theory may seem dull and boring, but it actually opens up thousands of new ideas, scales, and chords for you to use. Think of it this way -- would you rather have to memorize which chords and scales go with which, or would your rather of the blueprints to create any song you can imagine? Music theory, of course, is a huge field, but some good places to start include:\\nThe circle of 5ths.\\nMajor and Minor scale composition\\nThe use of \\\"modes.\\\"\\nCommon chord progressions.\\n1-6. Refine the tone of your guitar to truly shine on stage.\\nWhile not nearly as important as technical practice and skills, good guitarists know that what they play is only part of the battle. How your guitar actually sounds, whether acoustic or electric, will help shape your tone and personal style, so take some time to research and experiment with the guitar, amp, pedals, and strings that work for you.\\nString gauge is an easy way to change your tone -- thicker strings sound deeper, with more bass, while thinner strings sound high and bright.\\nIf you're an acoustic guitarist, the size of the guitar's body is the major factor in changing tone. Luckily, most music shops will let you test any guitar you want before buying.\\nElectric guitarists have the most freedom, as you can tinker with effects pedals and amp combinations to perfectly refine your sound.\\n1-7. Push yourself to learn new styles and songs outside your comfort zone.\\nGood music is good music no matter what genre it is, and the best guitarists know that inspiration can come from anywhere. Different types of music use chords, scales, and rhythmic ideas that you may never think of, but can open up wholly new avenues as a guitarist:\\nDrop the pick and play with your fingers. A pick may seem necessary, but guitar gods like Mark Knopfler and Jeff Beck prove otherwise.\\nCover a few songs in a genre you don't normally play -- what does it sound like \\\"converted\\\" to your favorite style of music?\\nTry to figure out the parts for other instruments, like trumpet solos or bass lines, to get a fresh perspective of melodic composition.\\nIf you're a lead player, write some rhythm parts (or vice versa).\\n1-8. Take lessons, play with a more experienced guitarist, or enroll in an online class.\\nTake classes, get a book, watch an instructional video, or join one-on-one lessons -- whatever teaching style you prefer, seek some outside guidance to kick-start your learning. It seems obvious, but you cannot teach yourself what you don't know. A dedicated teacher or set of lessons will help you improve much more quickly than you can on your own.\\nNo matter what avenue you take, make sure you're still enjoying yourself. A teacher is no good for your development if they take all of the fun away.\\n2. Improving as a Rhythm or Solitary Guitarist\\n2-1. Push yourself past your most common strumming patterns.\\nIf you've been playing guitar for any period of time, you'll likely start to notice that you naturally fall into the same strumming patterns each time you play or write a song. The best way to avoid this is to try and duplicate strumming patterns from your favorite artists, pushing yourself to widen your rhythmic tool belt.\\nCan you mix some single notes into your strumming? For example, a very country-western technique is to pick the root note, then strum the chord separately right afterwards.\\nRemember to strum both up and down when playing.\\nHow can you use muted strings (by lifting your fingers lightly off the frets) to get a percussive sound in your strumming? Check the Violent Femmes for good examples.\\n2-2. Practice daily with a metronome, percussionist, or both.\\nA rhythm guitarist, it goes without saying, needs to be able to stay in rhythm. The problem is that a guitarist's primary training is in melody, as drummers generally provide the rhythm for you to follow along to. However -- the ability to stay perfectly and precisely in time separates the amateurs from the pros, as perfect rhythm has an indescribable ability to make people dance.\\nSpend at least 5-10 minutes a day on a metronome, if not the entire practice session.\\nAlways start at a pace where you can play the notes perfectly instead of rushing through. Gradually up the tempo as you get faster.\\nMany metronomes can be set to click off for a few beats, forcing you to stay in time on your own before they come back in. This is a great way to test yourself.\\n2-3. Learn to dampen bum notes to clean up your chords.\\nMany times, especially with electric guitars and distortion, playing too many notes at once can sound muddled or messy. Many jazz chords require skipping strings in the middle of the chord to sound correct. Great guitarists pull this off but using the pads of their fingers to dampen the strings below the strings they're fretting. For example, the following jazz chord is formed by using the bottom of your middle finger to mute the A string, allowing you to freely strum all six strings without the A sounding out:\\n|e|----7----|\\n|B|----7----|\\n|G|----7----|\\n|D|----6----|\\n|A|----x----|\\n|E|----7----|\\n2-4. Teach yourself 1-2 new chords a week.\\nIdeally, you want chords that you can play with chords you already know, which helps you practice transitioning from one to the other. Dig deep into every chord you can find, from simple power chords to complex jazz shapes. To effectively learn a chord:\\nPractice forming the shape from nothing. Take your hand off the guitar, then place it down in the chord shape. Repeat until it feels automatic.\\nPractice getting to the chord from other chord shapes.\\nPlay or learn a song with the chord in it.\\nReview your new chords each day until memorized.\\n2-5. Use capos to place difficult-to-sing songs into your vocal range.\\nA capo simply shortens the neck of the guitar, allowing you to play open chords starting at any point. This means you can change the key of a song without actually changing the shape or order of any of your chords, allowing you to play the song in any key you can sing it. Effective capo use is essential for a rhythm guitarist or singer/songwriter.\\n2-6. Learn the value of groove by paying close attention to bass and drum techniques.\\nAs part of the rhythm section, you are responsible for keeping the song grooving both melodically and rhythmically. If you're in a band, you need to be locked into these other musicians so that you're always in time, hitting each note in unison to give the song power. If you're playing all alone, it's twice as important to get this groove down:\\nLearn the basics of bass guitar and/or drums to get more in touch with the tempo and timing aspects of rhythm guitar.\\nFocus on playing every note together as a rhythm section. This perfect synchronicity is the essence of a good groove.\\nWhen playing alone you have a lot more freedom with rhythm. The best way to \\\"groove\\\" is to know the song so well it's automatic, letting you feel the energy of the song and audience instead of thinking about the next chord.\\n2-7. Use dynamics, or volume control, to create unique and captivating rhythm parts.\\nWork on a smooth transition from dead silence to powerful strumming, or picking individual notes in between fuller chords. Your ability to modulate tone and volume is a great way to create tension and release in a song, building drama and energy.\\nWhen playing with a band, try to sync up with the drummer. When he takes some volume off, you should too.\\nIf playing alone, use volume control to manipulate the energy of the song. Try starting slow, then building up to a triumphant or climactic song. See John Butler's \\\"Oceans\\\" for a good example.\\n2-8. Experiment with alternate tunings.\\nNew tunings open up new sounds, new chords, and can make certain chords or progressions far easier to play. A good way to start is by learning some famous songs in other tunings -- the Led Zeppelin (\\\"Hey Hey What Can I Do\\\") & Rolling Stones (\\\"You Can't Always Get What You Want\\\") catalogs particularly good places to start. Guitarists Jimmy Page and Kieth Richards both lean heavily on alternate tunings.\\nStart with open tunings, which are when the guitar hits a chord without holding down any frets. This allows you to play more open notes, giving the whole song a brand new texture.\\nEven dropping your low-E string a half step will give you a slightly richer, deeper tone overall, as seen in Led Zeppelin's \\\"Hey Hey What Can I Do.\\\"\\n3. Improving as a Lead Guitarist\\n3-1. Make sure your lead lines service the song, not overshadow it.\\nThe best lead guitarists don't just know what to play, but when to play it. In particular, lead lines tend to muddle up singing, and so most guitarists tend to fill in the gaps between words instead of playing on top of them. Your goal, always, is to be a part of the song, not to try and stand out on top of it. Other strategies to consider include:\\nLetting your lead lines mimic the song, such as playing the melody the singer sings or synchronizing with the bass line.\\nUsing lead lines to transition in and out of intros, choruses, bridges, etc. instead of constantly playing them.\\nMaking each note count instead of seeing how many notes you can play.\\n3-2. Pay attention to a note's expression, not just the notes themselves.\\nFor a masterclass in expression, listen to B.B. King. On paper, many of his solos don't seem that impressive. But live, when you hear the incredible emotion and tone he drips on every note, you realize why he is one of the greatest to ever live. If you focus on making each note compelling and enjoyable your solos will become exponentially better. Remember that the guitar is a physical instrument-- get physical with the strings:\\nVibrato, or shaking a note back and forth, is a great way to drag a note out artfully.\\nBending into and out of notes allows to literally \\\"manhandle\\\" the note into the tone you want.\\nSlides let you move gracefully around the fretboard, gliding notes into one another\\nHammer-ons and pull-offs help your play quick sets of notes with extra emphasis and speed.\\n3-3. Build solos like stories instead of just tossing out technical fireworks.\\nIt may sound cliche, but Jimmy Page's \\\"Stairway to Heaven\\\" solo is a masterclass in how to build a compelling, gripping guitar solo. Think like a storyteller -- with rising action, a climax, and a resolution. \\\"Stairway's\\\" solo starts slow, building power until it crescendos in the blistering licks the song is known for.\\nDon't ever play your best stuff first -- save it for the climax.\\nRestraint is key. Remember that what is hardest to play is not always what sounds best.\\nFind a \\\"home base\\\" lick to keep coming back to if you get lost in the scale. This gives your solo a recognizable structure or theme as well.\\nTension is caused by contrasts -- a fast section sounds far quicker when played after a slow one.\\n3-4. Start improvising to your favorite songs and backing tracks.\\nEven if the lines and solos in your band's songs are usually written in advance, improvisation is one of the top ways to explore the fretboard and expand your musical creativity. Improvising is, naturally, a personal effort, so you can and should go about it however you'd like. Some good ways to get started include:\\nLook up backing tracks on YouTube, like \\\"Blues in A-minor,\\\" to play basic scales along to.\\nLearn your favorite solos, then experiment with rearranging the notes in new ways over the same song.\\nGet a guitar partner, make up a quick chord progression, and trade solos back and forth, alternating the rhythm player.\\n3-5. Study rhythm guitar to immerse yourself in chords, structure, and solo ideas.\\nOne of the biggest mistakes a lead guitarist can make is thinking they're better than or above the rhythm player. Nothing is further than the truth, as the best lead players must know chords inside and out. Think of it this way -- a chord is simply a collection of single notes all played at once, meaning all of these notes are plum for the picking in lead lines. If you know the rhythm section backward and forwards you'll be able to write unique, blistering lead lines and solos to mesh with it.\\nIt's generally good practice to be able to play the rhythm section proficiently before crafting lead lines.\\n3-6. Jam with other musicians and guitarists\\nMusic is a shared art form and one that can be learned much faster with others. You pick up tricks, share and receive new chords or scales, and learn to play on the edge of your seat. Playing with others is the closest you can get to being on stage while still practicing. Furthermore, surrounding yourself with better musicians is the fastest way to get better yourself. When jamming, remember to: \\nPlay both rhythm and lead. No one likes a solo hog.\\nAsk questions if you're confused. Learn the chords in the beginning, not when it's your partner's chance to solo.\\nPlay with the other instruments, not on top of them. When everyone is playing together, everyone sounds better.\\n3-7. Dive into modes -- slightly different scale forms with specific moods and tones.\\nA mode is simply a set of notes in the major or minor scale that you highlight instead of playing the entire scale. In a sense, they are entirely new scales to play, though they take a little study to master. Pick one below that sounds good and look it up online. Each mode emphasizes certain notes to get totally different moods and styles:\\nIonian -- your basic major scale\\nDorian -- a bluesy minor key sound.\\nPhrygian -- a Spanish-sounding minor mode\\nLydian -- very close to the major scale, but with a slight cool-jazz tint\\nMixolydian -- a bluesy major key sound\\nAeolian -- an almost identical minor key, but playable over major chords\\nLocrian -- very unstable sounding mode, sometimes used in death metal and atonal jazz.\\nTips\\nAlways start by playing slowly and precisely and then building up speed. It is better to play something slowly and perfectly than quickly and sloppily.\\nWarnings\\nThere are no shortcuts to becoming a good practice. The one and only road to success is through dedicated practice.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A good guitarist means a lot of things to a lot of different people, but there is one thread that joins every great guitarist who ever lived: practice. That said, there are better ways to practice than others. Dedicated time to the guitar and an open, curious mind is all you really need to be a good guitarist, so grab your axe and start jamming with authority.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improving General Guitar Play\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dedicate time to practice guitar every day.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good guitar player, you need to practice as much as you can. Study after study has shown that regular, consistent practice is far more effective than big chunks here and there. Try to aim for at least 6-7 days of practice a week. That said, not all practice is created equally, and the following steps will help you make the most of your time each day you sit down.\\nPractice should always be focused. That means all your mental energy is on guitar, not practicing with the TV in the background.\\nDon't try to learn five new techniques a day -- it's much better to perfect 1-2 at a time.\\nThe more time spent practicing, the better you'll be. This is the most important thing you can do to be a good guitarist.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time each day on the \\\"boring\\\" technical skills necessary for good guitar players.\", \"描述\": \"Shredding an incredible solo is not some skill that is trained on its own. It is the culmination of many technical exercises and hard practice. Think of the following exercises like a painter mixing up her paints -- these are the small but essential skills needed to create your art on stage. Consider just 5 minutes of the following exercises each time you practice:\\nRunning up and down through all of your scales.\\nLearning 1-2 new chords and strumming them to a metronome\\nRepeated picking exercises (search online and find your favorites)\\nSpeed-picking practice (alternating picking, downstrokes only, and sweeping)\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to teach yourself your favorite songs by ear.\", \"描述\": \"Learning by ear is when you teach yourself a song just by listening to it. Before the internet, this was one of the only ways to learn a song, but there is more to the activity than just memorizing the notes. Learning by ear trains you to understand the guitar intuitively -- instead of thinking about what note needs to come up, you start to think about what notes will sound right before your even play it. You ear and your fingers become synced up much more smoothly.\\nWhen learning by ear, work in small sections. Get a few notes perfectly right, then slowly add more.\\nTrying to get chords right is difficult, but just work slowly. Figure out all of the root notes first, then try to determine what types of chords fit into the song.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to read tablature (\\\"tab\\\"), the most common written form of guitar music.\", \"描述\": \"Tablature, or guitar tab, is a simple and intuitive way to write out guitar parts. You'll see six lines, much like a musical staff, with numbers on each line. The six lines correspond to your six strings, with your heavy E string on the bottom and your thinnest e string on the top. The numbers tell you which fret on that string to play, and you read from left to right. Thus, the following tab would tell you to \\\"play the 3rd string, 2nd fret, then play an A minor chord:\\\"\\n|e|--------|-------------|\\n|B|--------|------1------|\\n|G|------ -|------2------|\\n|D|---2---|------2------|\\n|A|--------|------0------|\\n|E|--------|-------------|\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Supplement your practice with music theory to expand your range across the guitar.\", \"描述\": \"Music theory may seem dull and boring, but it actually opens up thousands of new ideas, scales, and chords for you to use. Think of it this way -- would you rather have to memorize which chords and scales go with which, or would your rather of the blueprints to create any song you can imagine? Music theory, of course, is a huge field, but some good places to start include:\\nThe circle of 5ths.\\nMajor and Minor scale composition\\nThe use of \\\"modes.\\\"\\nCommon chord progressions.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Refine the tone of your guitar to truly shine on stage.\", \"描述\": \"While not nearly as important as technical practice and skills, good guitarists know that what they play is only part of the battle. How your guitar actually sounds, whether acoustic or electric, will help shape your tone and personal style, so take some time to research and experiment with the guitar, amp, pedals, and strings that work for you.\\nString gauge is an easy way to change your tone -- thicker strings sound deeper, with more bass, while thinner strings sound high and bright.\\nIf you're an acoustic guitarist, the size of the guitar's body is the major factor in changing tone. Luckily, most music shops will let you test any guitar you want before buying.\\nElectric guitarists have the most freedom, as you can tinker with effects pedals and amp combinations to perfectly refine your sound.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Push yourself to learn new styles and songs outside your comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"Good music is good music no matter what genre it is, and the best guitarists know that inspiration can come from anywhere. Different types of music use chords, scales, and rhythmic ideas that you may never think of, but can open up wholly new avenues as a guitarist:\\nDrop the pick and play with your fingers. A pick may seem necessary, but guitar gods like Mark Knopfler and Jeff Beck prove otherwise.\\nCover a few songs in a genre you don't normally play -- what does it sound like \\\"converted\\\" to your favorite style of music?\\nTry to figure out the parts for other instruments, like trumpet solos or bass lines, to get a fresh perspective of melodic composition.\\nIf you're a lead player, write some rhythm parts (or vice versa).\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take lessons, play with a more experienced guitarist, or enroll in an online class.\", \"描述\": \"Take classes, get a book, watch an instructional video, or join one-on-one lessons -- whatever teaching style you prefer, seek some outside guidance to kick-start your learning. It seems obvious, but you cannot teach yourself what you don't know. A dedicated teacher or set of lessons will help you improve much more quickly than you can on your own.\\nNo matter what avenue you take, make sure you're still enjoying yourself. A teacher is no good for your development if they take all of the fun away.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improving as a Rhythm or Solitary Guitarist\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Push yourself past your most common strumming patterns.\", \"描述\": \"If you've been playing guitar for any period of time, you'll likely start to notice that you naturally fall into the same strumming patterns each time you play or write a song. The best way to avoid this is to try and duplicate strumming patterns from your favorite artists, pushing yourself to widen your rhythmic tool belt.\\nCan you mix some single notes into your strumming? For example, a very country-western technique is to pick the root note, then strum the chord separately right afterwards.\\nRemember to strum both up and down when playing.\\nHow can you use muted strings (by lifting your fingers lightly off the frets) to get a percussive sound in your strumming? Check the Violent Femmes for good examples.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice daily with a metronome, percussionist, or both.\", \"描述\": \"A rhythm guitarist, it goes without saying, needs to be able to stay in rhythm. The problem is that a guitarist's primary training is in melody, as drummers generally provide the rhythm for you to follow along to. However -- the ability to stay perfectly and precisely in time separates the amateurs from the pros, as perfect rhythm has an indescribable ability to make people dance.\\nSpend at least 5-10 minutes a day on a metronome, if not the entire practice session.\\nAlways start at a pace where you can play the notes perfectly instead of rushing through. Gradually up the tempo as you get faster.\\nMany metronomes can be set to click off for a few beats, forcing you to stay in time on your own before they come back in. This is a great way to test yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to dampen bum notes to clean up your chords.\", \"描述\": \"Many times, especially with electric guitars and distortion, playing too many notes at once can sound muddled or messy. Many jazz chords require skipping strings in the middle of the chord to sound correct. Great guitarists pull this off but using the pads of their fingers to dampen the strings below the strings they're fretting. For example, the following jazz chord is formed by using the bottom of your middle finger to mute the A string, allowing you to freely strum all six strings without the A sounding out:\\n|e|----7----|\\n|B|----7----|\\n|G|----7----|\\n|D|----6----|\\n|A|----x----|\\n|E|----7----|\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Teach yourself 1-2 new chords a week.\", \"描述\": \"Ideally, you want chords that you can play with chords you already know, which helps you practice transitioning from one to the other. Dig deep into every chord you can find, from simple power chords to complex jazz shapes. To effectively learn a chord:\\nPractice forming the shape from nothing. Take your hand off the guitar, then place it down in the chord shape. Repeat until it feels automatic.\\nPractice getting to the chord from other chord shapes.\\nPlay or learn a song with the chord in it.\\nReview your new chords each day until memorized.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use capos to place difficult-to-sing songs into your vocal range.\", \"描述\": \"A capo simply shortens the neck of the guitar, allowing you to play open chords starting at any point. This means you can change the key of a song without actually changing the shape or order of any of your chords, allowing you to play the song in any key you can sing it. Effective capo use is essential for a rhythm guitarist or singer/songwriter.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn the value of groove by paying close attention to bass and drum techniques.\", \"描述\": \"As part of the rhythm section, you are responsible for keeping the song grooving both melodically and rhythmically. If you're in a band, you need to be locked into these other musicians so that you're always in time, hitting each note in unison to give the song power. If you're playing all alone, it's twice as important to get this groove down:\\nLearn the basics of bass guitar and/or drums to get more in touch with the tempo and timing aspects of rhythm guitar.\\nFocus on playing every note together as a rhythm section. This perfect synchronicity is the essence of a good groove.\\nWhen playing alone you have a lot more freedom with rhythm. The best way to \\\"groove\\\" is to know the song so well it's automatic, letting you feel the energy of the song and audience instead of thinking about the next chord.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use dynamics, or volume control, to create unique and captivating rhythm parts.\", \"描述\": \"Work on a smooth transition from dead silence to powerful strumming, or picking individual notes in between fuller chords. Your ability to modulate tone and volume is a great way to create tension and release in a song, building drama and energy.\\nWhen playing with a band, try to sync up with the drummer. When he takes some volume off, you should too.\\nIf playing alone, use volume control to manipulate the energy of the song. Try starting slow, then building up to a triumphant or climactic song. See John Butler's \\\"Oceans\\\" for a good example.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Experiment with alternate tunings.\", \"描述\": \"New tunings open up new sounds, new chords, and can make certain chords or progressions far easier to play. A good way to start is by learning some famous songs in other tunings -- the Led Zeppelin (\\\"Hey Hey What Can I Do\\\") & Rolling Stones (\\\"You Can't Always Get What You Want\\\") catalogs particularly good places to start. Guitarists Jimmy Page and Kieth Richards both lean heavily on alternate tunings.\\nStart with open tunings, which are when the guitar hits a chord without holding down any frets. This allows you to play more open notes, giving the whole song a brand new texture.\\nEven dropping your low-E string a half step will give you a slightly richer, deeper tone overall, as seen in Led Zeppelin's \\\"Hey Hey What Can I Do.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving as a Lead Guitarist\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure your lead lines service the song, not overshadow it.\", \"描述\": \"The best lead guitarists don't just know what to play, but when to play it. In particular, lead lines tend to muddle up singing, and so most guitarists tend to fill in the gaps between words instead of playing on top of them. Your goal, always, is to be a part of the song, not to try and stand out on top of it. Other strategies to consider include:\\nLetting your lead lines mimic the song, such as playing the melody the singer sings or synchronizing with the bass line.\\nUsing lead lines to transition in and out of intros, choruses, bridges, etc. instead of constantly playing them.\\nMaking each note count instead of seeing how many notes you can play.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to a note's expression, not just the notes themselves.\", \"描述\": \"For a masterclass in expression, listen to B.B. King. On paper, many of his solos don't seem that impressive. But live, when you hear the incredible emotion and tone he drips on every note, you realize why he is one of the greatest to ever live. If you focus on making each note compelling and enjoyable your solos will become exponentially better. Remember that the guitar is a physical instrument-- get physical with the strings:\\nVibrato, or shaking a note back and forth, is a great way to drag a note out artfully.\\nBending into and out of notes allows to literally \\\"manhandle\\\" the note into the tone you want.\\nSlides let you move gracefully around the fretboard, gliding notes into one another\\nHammer-ons and pull-offs help your play quick sets of notes with extra emphasis and speed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build solos like stories instead of just tossing out technical fireworks.\", \"描述\": \"It may sound cliche, but Jimmy Page's \\\"Stairway to Heaven\\\" solo is a masterclass in how to build a compelling, gripping guitar solo. Think like a storyteller -- with rising action, a climax, and a resolution. \\\"Stairway's\\\" solo starts slow, building power until it crescendos in the blistering licks the song is known for.\\nDon't ever play your best stuff first -- save it for the climax.\\nRestraint is key. Remember that what is hardest to play is not always what sounds best.\\nFind a \\\"home base\\\" lick to keep coming back to if you get lost in the scale. This gives your solo a recognizable structure or theme as well.\\nTension is caused by contrasts -- a fast section sounds far quicker when played after a slow one.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start improvising to your favorite songs and backing tracks.\", \"描述\": \"Even if the lines and solos in your band's songs are usually written in advance, improvisation is one of the top ways to explore the fretboard and expand your musical creativity. Improvising is, naturally, a personal effort, so you can and should go about it however you'd like. Some good ways to get started include:\\nLook up backing tracks on YouTube, like \\\"Blues in A-minor,\\\" to play basic scales along to.\\nLearn your favorite solos, then experiment with rearranging the notes in new ways over the same song.\\nGet a guitar partner, make up a quick chord progression, and trade solos back and forth, alternating the rhythm player.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Study rhythm guitar to immerse yourself in chords, structure, and solo ideas.\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest mistakes a lead guitarist can make is thinking they're better than or above the rhythm player. Nothing is further than the truth, as the best lead players must know chords inside and out. Think of it this way -- a chord is simply a collection of single notes all played at once, meaning all of these notes are plum for the picking in lead lines. If you know the rhythm section backward and forwards you'll be able to write unique, blistering lead lines and solos to mesh with it.\\nIt's generally good practice to be able to play the rhythm section proficiently before crafting lead lines.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Jam with other musicians and guitarists\", \"描述\": \"Music is a shared art form and one that can be learned much faster with others. You pick up tricks, share and receive new chords or scales, and learn to play on the edge of your seat. Playing with others is the closest you can get to being on stage while still practicing. Furthermore, surrounding yourself with better musicians is the fastest way to get better yourself. When jamming, remember to: \\nPlay both rhythm and lead. No one likes a solo hog.\\nAsk questions if you're confused. Learn the chords in the beginning, not when it's your partner's chance to solo.\\nPlay with the other instruments, not on top of them. When everyone is playing together, everyone sounds better.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Dive into modes -- slightly different scale forms with specific moods and tones.\", \"描述\": \"A mode is simply a set of notes in the major or minor scale that you highlight instead of playing the entire scale. In a sense, they are entirely new scales to play, though they take a little study to master. Pick one below that sounds good and look it up online. Each mode emphasizes certain notes to get totally different moods and styles:\\nIonian -- your basic major scale\\nDorian -- a bluesy minor key sound.\\nPhrygian -- a Spanish-sounding minor mode\\nLydian -- very close to the major scale, but with a slight cool-jazz tint\\nMixolydian -- a bluesy major key sound\\nAeolian -- an almost identical minor key, but playable over major chords\\nLocrian -- very unstable sounding mode, sometimes used in death metal and atonal jazz.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always start by playing slowly and precisely and then building up speed. It is better to play something slowly and perfectly than quickly and sloppily.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"There are no shortcuts to becoming a good practice. The one and only road to success is through dedicated practice.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,458 |
How to Be a Good Guitarist
|
1. Steps
1-1. Learn the basics thoroughly.
A good guitarist must be an expert in the fundamentals of guitar playing. The fundamentals include posture when holding the guitar, proper left and right hand finger positioning, and plectrum or pick usage.
1-2. Study musical notation.
Though reading guitar tablature is easier, it generally has one drawback: it does not show timing. The beginner should at least be familiar with reading musical notation. Granted, some very talented guitarists are able to play without ever needing tablature or sheet music; they learn a song just by listening to it. But unless you are one of these people, you'll be better-off mastering musical notation so you'll have access to a wide collection of compositions.
1-3. Practice every day.
Do drills and exercises to polish your skills and technique. Strengthen your fingers, and aim for a clean and clear tone. Avoid muted sounds unless the music calls for it.
1-4. When learning a piece or song, choose one that you are comfortable with.
Learn easy songs first. Not only does this build confidence, but it also helps your fingers 'remember' certain formations and chords that tend to be repeated in other songs.
1-5. Try to finish a piece, no matter how difficult it may be.
Do not get into the habit of not finishing what you start. If a certain part of a song frustrates you, put the guitar down and take a break. You may even sleep on it, and start fresh the next day. Do it at your own pace, it doesn't matter how long you take to master a piece. Of course, remember the previous step. Be reasonable. Do not take on a complicated song or piece if you haven't mastered your basics.
1-6. Have patience and reasonable expectations.
Do not expect to play like a famous guitar 'god' with just a few lessons. Attaining a professional skill level takes years of practice and training.
1-7. Listen to different guitarists.
Compare one artist's interpretation of a song to another's. Have an open mind. A good guitarist is familiar with different styles and genres.
1-8. Record your guitar-playing.
Listen to yourself and identify your mistakes and weaknesses. Have another guitarist critique it. You'll improve more if you know what you must work harder on.
Tips
Don't be discouraged if you can't play a difficult song or if you find that you learn a little slower than others. Just keep practicing.
Worry less about hand speed, and more about attaining a clear tone. Do not sacrifice clarity for speed.
Learn when to stop. Sometimes when you try too hard your hands will feel painful. Do not play through the pain, it is better to stop and rest your hands flat on a surface for a while.
Warnings
You will find very talented guitarists on the Internet performing songs and tricks that you could only dream of. Do not feel bad or inadequate because they are better than you. Make them your inspiration instead.
Nobody ever got good at the guitar without developing a few blisters or calluses on the tips of their fingers.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Learn the basics thoroughly.\\nA good guitarist must be an expert in the fundamentals of guitar playing. The fundamentals include posture when holding the guitar, proper left and right hand finger positioning, and plectrum or pick usage.\\n1-2. Study musical notation.\\nThough reading guitar tablature is easier, it generally has one drawback: it does not show timing. The beginner should at least be familiar with reading musical notation. Granted, some very talented guitarists are able to play without ever needing tablature or sheet music; they learn a song just by listening to it. But unless you are one of these people, you'll be better-off mastering musical notation so you'll have access to a wide collection of compositions.\\n1-3. Practice every day.\\nDo drills and exercises to polish your skills and technique. Strengthen your fingers, and aim for a clean and clear tone. Avoid muted sounds unless the music calls for it.\\n1-4. When learning a piece or song, choose one that you are comfortable with.\\nLearn easy songs first. Not only does this build confidence, but it also helps your fingers 'remember' certain formations and chords that tend to be repeated in other songs.\\n1-5. Try to finish a piece, no matter how difficult it may be.\\nDo not get into the habit of not finishing what you start. If a certain part of a song frustrates you, put the guitar down and take a break. You may even sleep on it, and start fresh the next day. Do it at your own pace, it doesn't matter how long you take to master a piece. Of course, remember the previous step. Be reasonable. Do not take on a complicated song or piece if you haven't mastered your basics.\\n1-6. Have patience and reasonable expectations.\\nDo not expect to play like a famous guitar 'god' with just a few lessons. Attaining a professional skill level takes years of practice and training.\\n1-7. Listen to different guitarists.\\nCompare one artist's interpretation of a song to another's. Have an open mind. A good guitarist is familiar with different styles and genres.\\n1-8. Record your guitar-playing.\\nListen to yourself and identify your mistakes and weaknesses. Have another guitarist critique it. You'll improve more if you know what you must work harder on.\\nTips\\nDon't be discouraged if you can't play a difficult song or if you find that you learn a little slower than others. Just keep practicing.\\nWorry less about hand speed, and more about attaining a clear tone. Do not sacrifice clarity for speed.\\nLearn when to stop. Sometimes when you try too hard your hands will feel painful. Do not play through the pain, it is better to stop and rest your hands flat on a surface for a while.\\nWarnings\\nYou will find very talented guitarists on the Internet performing songs and tricks that you could only dream of. Do not feel bad or inadequate because they are better than you. Make them your inspiration instead.\\nNobody ever got good at the guitar without developing a few blisters or calluses on the tips of their fingers.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Playing the guitar is a challenging yet satisfying skill. Learning how to play the instrument may be frustrating at first; but with discipline, dedication and time, anyone can become a good guitarist.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn the basics thoroughly.\", \"描述\": \"A good guitarist must be an expert in the fundamentals of guitar playing. The fundamentals include posture when holding the guitar, proper left and right hand finger positioning, and plectrum or pick usage.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Study musical notation.\", \"描述\": \"Though reading guitar tablature is easier, it generally has one drawback: it does not show timing. The beginner should at least be familiar with reading musical notation. Granted, some very talented guitarists are able to play without ever needing tablature or sheet music; they learn a song just by listening to it. But unless you are one of these people, you'll be better-off mastering musical notation so you'll have access to a wide collection of compositions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice every day.\", \"描述\": \"Do drills and exercises to polish your skills and technique. Strengthen your fingers, and aim for a clean and clear tone. Avoid muted sounds unless the music calls for it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"When learning a piece or song, choose one that you are comfortable with.\", \"描述\": \"Learn easy songs first. Not only does this build confidence, but it also helps your fingers 'remember' certain formations and chords that tend to be repeated in other songs.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to finish a piece, no matter how difficult it may be.\", \"描述\": \"Do not get into the habit of not finishing what you start. If a certain part of a song frustrates you, put the guitar down and take a break. You may even sleep on it, and start fresh the next day. Do it at your own pace, it doesn't matter how long you take to master a piece. Of course, remember the previous step. Be reasonable. Do not take on a complicated song or piece if you haven't mastered your basics.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have patience and reasonable expectations.\", \"描述\": \"Do not expect to play like a famous guitar 'god' with just a few lessons. Attaining a professional skill level takes years of practice and training.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Listen to different guitarists.\", \"描述\": \"Compare one artist's interpretation of a song to another's. Have an open mind. A good guitarist is familiar with different styles and genres.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Record your guitar-playing.\", \"描述\": \"Listen to yourself and identify your mistakes and weaknesses. Have another guitarist critique it. You'll improve more if you know what you must work harder on.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't be discouraged if you can't play a difficult song or if you find that you learn a little slower than others. Just keep practicing.\\n\", \"Worry less about hand speed, and more about attaining a clear tone. Do not sacrifice clarity for speed.\\n\", \"Learn when to stop. Sometimes when you try too hard your hands will feel painful. Do not play through the pain, it is better to stop and rest your hands flat on a surface for a while.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"You will find very talented guitarists on the Internet performing songs and tricks that you could only dream of. Do not feel bad or inadequate because they are better than you. Make them your inspiration instead.\\n\", \"Nobody ever got good at the guitar without developing a few blisters or calluses on the tips of their fingers.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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}
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wikihow
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4,459 |
How to Be a Good Gymnast
|
1. Joining a Class
1-1. Find a good class or team.
If you are in high school, sign up for your school's gymnastics team. If you are younger you would have to join classes. If you are more advanced, you may be able to join a competitive gymnastics team.
1-2. Be on time.
Arrange a good schedule, and make sure you leave a good amount of time to get to your class.
1-3. Work hard.
Not just vault, floor, beam, bars. Also, work hard in the conditioning and stretching. But don't go too far, especially with the stretching.
1-4. Ask your coach or instructor for tips.
If you are in a group like most gymnasts, asks for tips that are most important to you. But if you have a private instructor/coach, ask them help for all skills, learn to deal with criticism, because most coaches don't mean to insult you.
Use the tips. Unless your coach is just a friend's parent, or a P.E. teacher, you should trust their tips. Coaches at gymnastics gyms, are qualified, and most competitive ones, have been through the 10 levels of gymnastics some are even elite gymnasts.
2. Goal Setting
2-1. Be positive.
Think that you can do a skill, that you are afraid to. Try to be positive at every single practice!
2-2. Set goals for yourself to reach.
Maybe it's something like getting better at double backs, or something like getting your leg higher in a scorpion. What ever it is, if you have a goal in mind, it makes it easier to achieve it.
2-3. Be dedicated to gymnastics.
Usually some people practice gymnastics for even four or five hours everyday, without their lessons. Typical gymnasts usually train for three to four hours, three times every week. If you wish to be a competitive gymnast the training hours will increase prior to an event. You must make sure that you are ready to commit to many training sessions that may affect your daily routine.
3. Adopting a Daily Exercise Routine
3-1. Match your routine to your level of energy.
If you don't have a lot of energy, exercise 2-3 days a week or on the days that you don't have gymnastics. If you feel stronger, do 6-7 days a week.
Give yourself time to rest and heal when you need it. Remember that if you are sick, skip this routine for about at least a week, unless it's just a cold.
3-2. Warm up.
Warm up with exercises like running 1/2 a mile, or just a few laps, jumping jacks, high knees and butt kickers, or lunges. Practice stretching and warming up at home before you begin. Your coach will usually pick up on who is the best at stretching out beforehand, and gain their respect. Take part in all coach-led exercises to show that you are committed to gymnastics.
3-3. Do upper body workouts.
Do different kinds of pushups like basic pushups, fist pushups, pushups with your elbows pointed inwards, knee pushups when you are tired, pushups with your legs higher, handstand pushups, and wall pushups if you are a beginner. You can even add 1-5 pound wrist weights to your pushups. Also try plank holds.
3-4. Do lower body workouts.
Jumps, candlestick-jumps, lunges again, v-hold, arch-hold, tuck ups/v ups, and/or candlestick holds could help. There are many healthy variations.
3-5. Do full body workouts.
Try burpees, frog jumps, and basically all exercise where you go to the ground and get back up then jump.
3-6. Finish up with some other exercises.
Do curl/sit ups, and wall sits.
4. Staying Motivated
4-1. Set goals along the way.
The only way to work towards mastering all your skills is to try, and practice, and try again. In every new skill you learn, you have to attempt it, so set goals to what skills you want to attempt at each practice.
4-2. Create a check list of your goals.
Check it off when you think you got the skill down. Example:
back handspring ()
front tuck ()
split jump ()
4-3. Be willing to practice hundred percent.
If you try your best and practice this all the time, you'll be a dedicated gymnast in no time! If you want to be a good gymnast, you need to commit to the sport. Sometimes you have to realize that you can't always hang out with your friends.
4-4. Remember to stay fit and healthy.
This is very important. Always have a healthy diet. This does not mean to stop eating, it means to eat less unhealthy junk food. Make sure that you eat a small energy snack before a long training session, otherwise you will find yourself running out of energy before the end of training.
Make sure that you're eating enough calories to support muscle growth.
5. Being Part of the Team
5-1. Support others.
At your lessons, be kind to your fellow gymnasts. Being kind to others will also make you a better gymnast and person. Do not argue with your coaches. You should respect your coach's position.
5-2. Don't over-react to criticism.
It's just something to improve on, a little tiny thing that you could work on to improve your gymnastics skills. Over-reacting will just make people think negatively of you. Take all points of criticism and use them to improve.
5-3. Show up to classes on time.
Showing up on time will help your coach know that you're reliable and that in future tournaments you'll definitely be there to compete. Also, remember your leotard and other equipment. This will prove that you are a committed and serious student.
Tips
Do conditioning at home such as push ups, pull-ups, sit-ups jumping jacks, and other stretches and simple exercises.
Don't try stuff that you have a hard time on at the gym too early. Work towards a set goal, reward yourself and set a new one. In this way, your progress becomes more tangible. When you've reached a goal, any goal, tell your friends and family - they will be proud of you, no matter what.
On your backwards roll keep your arms straight as it will make it easier.
Warnings
While practicing at home, do not try anything that is too dangerous. For example, if you just got a new skill that day, don't try it once you get home. You will be tired and worn out. Take a nap or shower if needed.
Reserve at-home equipment use for lower-level (compulsory-level) skills. Higher-level skills are not safe to practice at home.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Joining a Class\\n1-1. Find a good class or team.\\nIf you are in high school, sign up for your school's gymnastics team. If you are younger you would have to join classes. If you are more advanced, you may be able to join a competitive gymnastics team.\\n1-2. Be on time.\\nArrange a good schedule, and make sure you leave a good amount of time to get to your class.\\n1-3. Work hard.\\nNot just vault, floor, beam, bars. Also, work hard in the conditioning and stretching. But don't go too far, especially with the stretching.\\n1-4. Ask your coach or instructor for tips.\\nIf you are in a group like most gymnasts, asks for tips that are most important to you. But if you have a private instructor/coach, ask them help for all skills, learn to deal with criticism, because most coaches don't mean to insult you.\\nUse the tips. Unless your coach is just a friend's parent, or a P.E. teacher, you should trust their tips. Coaches at gymnastics gyms, are qualified, and most competitive ones, have been through the 10 levels of gymnastics some are even elite gymnasts.\\n2. Goal Setting\\n2-1. Be positive.\\nThink that you can do a skill, that you are afraid to. Try to be positive at every single practice!\\n2-2. Set goals for yourself to reach.\\nMaybe it's something like getting better at double backs, or something like getting your leg higher in a scorpion. What ever it is, if you have a goal in mind, it makes it easier to achieve it.\\n2-3. Be dedicated to gymnastics.\\nUsually some people practice gymnastics for even four or five hours everyday, without their lessons. Typical gymnasts usually train for three to four hours, three times every week. If you wish to be a competitive gymnast the training hours will increase prior to an event. You must make sure that you are ready to commit to many training sessions that may affect your daily routine.\\n3. Adopting a Daily Exercise Routine\\n3-1. Match your routine to your level of energy.\\nIf you don't have a lot of energy, exercise 2-3 days a week or on the days that you don't have gymnastics. If you feel stronger, do 6-7 days a week.\\nGive yourself time to rest and heal when you need it. Remember that if you are sick, skip this routine for about at least a week, unless it's just a cold.\\n3-2. Warm up.\\nWarm up with exercises like running 1/2 a mile, or just a few laps, jumping jacks, high knees and butt kickers, or lunges. Practice stretching and warming up at home before you begin. Your coach will usually pick up on who is the best at stretching out beforehand, and gain their respect. Take part in all coach-led exercises to show that you are committed to gymnastics.\\n3-3. Do upper body workouts.\\nDo different kinds of pushups like basic pushups, fist pushups, pushups with your elbows pointed inwards, knee pushups when you are tired, pushups with your legs higher, handstand pushups, and wall pushups if you are a beginner. You can even add 1-5 pound wrist weights to your pushups. Also try plank holds.\\n3-4. Do lower body workouts.\\nJumps, candlestick-jumps, lunges again, v-hold, arch-hold, tuck ups/v ups, and/or candlestick holds could help. There are many healthy variations.\\n3-5. Do full body workouts.\\nTry burpees, frog jumps, and basically all exercise where you go to the ground and get back up then jump.\\n3-6. Finish up with some other exercises.\\nDo curl/sit ups, and wall sits.\\n4. Staying Motivated\\n4-1. Set goals along the way.\\nThe only way to work towards mastering all your skills is to try, and practice, and try again. In every new skill you learn, you have to attempt it, so set goals to what skills you want to attempt at each practice.\\n4-2. Create a check list of your goals.\\nCheck it off when you think you got the skill down. Example:\\nback handspring ()\\nfront tuck ()\\nsplit jump ()\\n4-3. Be willing to practice hundred percent.\\nIf you try your best and practice this all the time, you'll be a dedicated gymnast in no time! If you want to be a good gymnast, you need to commit to the sport. Sometimes you have to realize that you can't always hang out with your friends.\\n4-4. Remember to stay fit and healthy.\\nThis is very important. Always have a healthy diet. This does not mean to stop eating, it means to eat less unhealthy junk food. Make sure that you eat a small energy snack before a long training session, otherwise you will find yourself running out of energy before the end of training.\\nMake sure that you're eating enough calories to support muscle growth.\\n5. Being Part of the Team\\n5-1. Support others.\\nAt your lessons, be kind to your fellow gymnasts. Being kind to others will also make you a better gymnast and person. Do not argue with your coaches. You should respect your coach's position.\\n5-2. Don't over-react to criticism.\\nIt's just something to improve on, a little tiny thing that you could work on to improve your gymnastics skills. Over-reacting will just make people think negatively of you. Take all points of criticism and use them to improve.\\n5-3. Show up to classes on time.\\nShowing up on time will help your coach know that you're reliable and that in future tournaments you'll definitely be there to compete. Also, remember your leotard and other equipment. This will prove that you are a committed and serious student.\\nTips\\nDo conditioning at home such as push ups, pull-ups, sit-ups jumping jacks, and other stretches and simple exercises.\\nDon't try stuff that you have a hard time on at the gym too early. Work towards a set goal, reward yourself and set a new one. In this way, your progress becomes more tangible. When you've reached a goal, any goal, tell your friends and family - they will be proud of you, no matter what.\\nOn your backwards roll keep your arms straight as it will make it easier.\\nWarnings\\nWhile practicing at home, do not try anything that is too dangerous. For example, if you just got a new skill that day, don't try it once you get home. You will be tired and worn out. Take a nap or shower if needed.\\nReserve at-home equipment use for lower-level (compulsory-level) skills. Higher-level skills are not safe to practice at home.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes, it's hard to stay dedicated to a sport so that you can become good at it. However, letting your passion drive your dedication can really help you to improve your skills. Keeping your goals in sight is crucial to long-term success. To really excel as a gymnast, you have to be dedicated and this article explains some of the things to take into account.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Joining a Class\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a good class or team.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in high school, sign up for your school's gymnastics team. If you are younger you would have to join classes. If you are more advanced, you may be able to join a competitive gymnastics team.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be on time.\", \"描述\": \"Arrange a good schedule, and make sure you leave a good amount of time to get to your class.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work hard.\", \"描述\": \"Not just vault, floor, beam, bars. Also, work hard in the conditioning and stretching. But don't go too far, especially with the stretching.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask your coach or instructor for tips.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in a group like most gymnasts, asks for tips that are most important to you. But if you have a private instructor/coach, ask them help for all skills, learn to deal with criticism, because most coaches don't mean to insult you.\\nUse the tips. Unless your coach is just a friend's parent, or a P.E. teacher, you should trust their tips. Coaches at gymnastics gyms, are qualified, and most competitive ones, have been through the 10 levels of gymnastics some are even elite gymnasts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Goal Setting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be positive.\", \"描述\": \"Think that you can do a skill, that you are afraid to. Try to be positive at every single practice!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set goals for yourself to reach.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe it's something like getting better at double backs, or something like getting your leg higher in a scorpion. What ever it is, if you have a goal in mind, it makes it easier to achieve it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be dedicated to gymnastics.\", \"描述\": \"Usually some people practice gymnastics for even four or five hours everyday, without their lessons. Typical gymnasts usually train for three to four hours, three times every week. If you wish to be a competitive gymnast the training hours will increase prior to an event. You must make sure that you are ready to commit to many training sessions that may affect your daily routine.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Adopting a Daily Exercise Routine\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Match your routine to your level of energy.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't have a lot of energy, exercise 2-3 days a week or on the days that you don't have gymnastics. If you feel stronger, do 6-7 days a week.\\nGive yourself time to rest and heal when you need it. Remember that if you are sick, skip this routine for about at least a week, unless it's just a cold.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Warm up.\", \"描述\": \"Warm up with exercises like running 1/2 a mile, or just a few laps, jumping jacks, high knees and butt kickers, or lunges. Practice stretching and warming up at home before you begin. Your coach will usually pick up on who is the best at stretching out beforehand, and gain their respect. Take part in all coach-led exercises to show that you are committed to gymnastics.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do upper body workouts.\", \"描述\": \"Do different kinds of pushups like basic pushups, fist pushups, pushups with your elbows pointed inwards, knee pushups when you are tired, pushups with your legs higher, handstand pushups, and wall pushups if you are a beginner. You can even add 1-5 pound wrist weights to your pushups. Also try plank holds.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do lower body workouts.\", \"描述\": \"Jumps, candlestick-jumps, lunges again, v-hold, arch-hold, tuck ups/v ups, and/or candlestick holds could help. There are many healthy variations.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do full body workouts.\", \"描述\": \"Try burpees, frog jumps, and basically all exercise where you go to the ground and get back up then jump.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Finish up with some other exercises.\", \"描述\": \"Do curl/sit ups, and wall sits.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Staying Motivated\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set goals along the way.\", \"描述\": \"The only way to work towards mastering all your skills is to try, and practice, and try again. In every new skill you learn, you have to attempt it, so set goals to what skills you want to attempt at each practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a check list of your goals.\", \"描述\": \"Check it off when you think you got the skill down. Example:\\nback handspring ()\\nfront tuck ()\\nsplit jump ()\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be willing to practice hundred percent.\", \"描述\": \"If you try your best and practice this all the time, you'll be a dedicated gymnast in no time! If you want to be a good gymnast, you need to commit to the sport. Sometimes you have to realize that you can't always hang out with your friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remember to stay fit and healthy.\", \"描述\": \"This is very important. Always have a healthy diet. This does not mean to stop eating, it means to eat less unhealthy junk food. Make sure that you eat a small energy snack before a long training session, otherwise you will find yourself running out of energy before the end of training.\\nMake sure that you're eating enough calories to support muscle growth.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Being Part of the Team\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Support others.\", \"描述\": \"At your lessons, be kind to your fellow gymnasts. Being kind to others will also make you a better gymnast and person. Do not argue with your coaches. You should respect your coach's position.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't over-react to criticism.\", \"描述\": \"It's just something to improve on, a little tiny thing that you could work on to improve your gymnastics skills. Over-reacting will just make people think negatively of you. Take all points of criticism and use them to improve.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show up to classes on time.\", \"描述\": \"Showing up on time will help your coach know that you're reliable and that in future tournaments you'll definitely be there to compete. Also, remember your leotard and other equipment. This will prove that you are a committed and serious student.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do conditioning at home such as push ups, pull-ups, sit-ups jumping jacks, and other stretches and simple exercises.\\n\", \"Don't try stuff that you have a hard time on at the gym too early. Work towards a set goal, reward yourself and set a new one. In this way, your progress becomes more tangible. When you've reached a goal, any goal, tell your friends and family - they will be proud of you, no matter what.\\n\", \"On your backwards roll keep your arms straight as it will make it easier.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"While practicing at home, do not try anything that is too dangerous. For example, if you just got a new skill that day, don't try it once you get home. You will be tired and worn out. Take a nap or shower if needed.\\n\", \"Reserve at-home equipment use for lower-level (compulsory-level) skills. Higher-level skills are not safe to practice at home.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,460 |
How to Be a Good Hiphop Dancer
|
1. Steps
1-1. Love it.
If you want to dance, you have got to love it. Your heart must be into it. Maybe you want to dance to look good in front of boys or girls. However, to look good, you must ignore how other people view you, and concentrate solely on yourself. Your heart must be ‘fully’ into it. If your heart's not into dancing, you will most likely give up when you cannot do certain moves, because it will stress you out. But if you have a desire, you will stick to learning one move until you get it down.
1-2. Research some well-known dancers.
There are many legendary dancers who encourage many amateur dancers. It is good to look up to them and learn how they learned how to dance.
Of course, you should not try to imitate moves that the professional dancers do. It is very hard. But let me remind you of this; pick one of your favorite dancers, and whenever you dance, think of him/her and imagine yourself as if you are him/her. Let him/her be your invisible teacher!
1-3. Learn the moves.
You can either take classes or learn it by yourself. A lot of people watch videos and try to follow along, but most of the time it is difficult. You need someone who can take a look at your moves you have taught yourself, someone you look up to, and he/she can fix your problems.
1-4. Learn some history.
Dancing is one of the ways to express one’s feelings. It is artistic, beautiful, and sometimes indescribable. Also, there are many types of dances. For example, there is breakdance, popping, tutting, locking, etc. These sorts of dances are generally in the Hip-Hop category.
1-5. Dance with your friends.
Practicing dancing alone may be boring. And you might want to learn moves from other people too. After assembling your group, look for a nearby dance studio, gym, or even on the streets! Hit your friends up, get speakers, and jam!
Even though you might think that you look bad in front of other people, there’s always something satisfying after the hard work right? Ignore the others, just practice and freestyle with your friends, and who knows? Maybe you and your friends can be the world-best dancing group in the future.
1-6. Don't be hard on yourself.
Maybe your friends would tell you that you are bad at dancing. Just ignore them. Even though you think you are bad at dancing, stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself. Why not? Why would you think that you cannot dance?
Never say never. Tell yourself, You can do it man! You’re just either too scared to show off or too lazy to practice! Of course I can do it! I’ll get the moves down and show them who I am. That’s right!
1-7. Choose your preferred style.
Be specific. If you want to breakdance, also known as ‘b-boying,’ you first need to know what kind of dance it is. It involves a lot of strength, along with your own creative styles. For this, you have got to be into it. You may feel like the moves you want to learn are so hard, that you just want to give up, but have faith in yourself.
There are lots of different moves for breakdancing. Remember, you can learn any one of the moves, and transform it into your own style.
1-8. Be aware of your skill level.
Popping, which is one of the common dances along with b-boying, requires some natural skills, as in skills you naturally have, because as you get older, your body’s flexibility tends to become stiffer and stiffer. So you should start practicing when you’re young, or have natural skills.
If you do not have natural skills and didn’t even know about popping when you were a kid, it will require a lot of practice, for popping is literally popping your body on beats. It will either look good with the music or make the audience want to just leave you.
1-9. Keep practicing.
Practice every day. It doesn’t have to be a harsh practice. Let’s say you’ve been practicing hand-stands, then before you eat dinner, as you wait, just practice little by little.
When you have free time, practice anywhere around your house. As you walk around, do some moves, keep doing them, keep practicing, because if you practice certain moves a lot, it will become natural.
1-10. Perform.
Audition for performances! Work hard for it, and make it a good memory. Throw out everything you’ve learned. You can do it individually or with your friends. Put every single move you learned in a song and make a dance! Listen to the audience’s reactions, listen to their advice, and make it better next time! Dancing on stage will encourage you . Be proud of your work, but do not let go, keep working until you reach your goal!
1-11. Be prepared for the commitment.
Dancing takes time. You need to learn the moves, feel comfortable with what you're doing, and try to practice the moves into something new.
1-12. Remember that no matter how far you want to go with dancing, keep going.
Even though you're not going to be a professional dancer in the future, but still loves dancing - don't quit, if you love that hobby keep it up and never give up.
Tips
If you have free time, make up a dance routine with your friend and practice it at home. You can use what you’ve made on any performances you plan to perform on, and have more time to add more stuff to it.
Just believe in yourself. If you're performing on stage and get nervous, just pretend you're in your room alone dancing to the beat of the music.
Get into the dance. Nobody wants to see someone stiff and tight. Make sure you're relaxed, put emotion and facial expression into your moves.
Warnings
Do not get hurt while either practicing or dancing on stages! Some of the moves can be dangerous, so get some help if you desperately want to learn it.
If you’re going to show your moves off to guys/girls, do it right. Don’t embarrass yourself. Also, you have to be good if you want to show off, or else they will just think that you are one of the cool-dancers-wannabe’s.
If you have stage fright, practice, so you can be your best.[8]
X
Research source
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Love it.\\nIf you want to dance, you have got to love it. Your heart must be into it. Maybe you want to dance to look good in front of boys or girls. However, to look good, you must ignore how other people view you, and concentrate solely on yourself. Your heart must be ‘fully’ into it. If your heart's not into dancing, you will most likely give up when you cannot do certain moves, because it will stress you out. But if you have a desire, you will stick to learning one move until you get it down.\\n1-2. Research some well-known dancers.\\nThere are many legendary dancers who encourage many amateur dancers. It is good to look up to them and learn how they learned how to dance.\\nOf course, you should not try to imitate moves that the professional dancers do. It is very hard. But let me remind you of this; pick one of your favorite dancers, and whenever you dance, think of him/her and imagine yourself as if you are him/her. Let him/her be your invisible teacher!\\n1-3. Learn the moves.\\nYou can either take classes or learn it by yourself. A lot of people watch videos and try to follow along, but most of the time it is difficult. You need someone who can take a look at your moves you have taught yourself, someone you look up to, and he/she can fix your problems.\\n1-4. Learn some history.\\nDancing is one of the ways to express one’s feelings. It is artistic, beautiful, and sometimes indescribable. Also, there are many types of dances. For example, there is breakdance, popping, tutting, locking, etc. These sorts of dances are generally in the Hip-Hop category.\\n1-5. Dance with your friends.\\nPracticing dancing alone may be boring. And you might want to learn moves from other people too. After assembling your group, look for a nearby dance studio, gym, or even on the streets! Hit your friends up, get speakers, and jam!\\nEven though you might think that you look bad in front of other people, there’s always something satisfying after the hard work right? Ignore the others, just practice and freestyle with your friends, and who knows? Maybe you and your friends can be the world-best dancing group in the future.\\n1-6. Don't be hard on yourself.\\nMaybe your friends would tell you that you are bad at dancing. Just ignore them. Even though you think you are bad at dancing, stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself. Why not? Why would you think that you cannot dance?\\nNever say never. Tell yourself, You can do it man! You’re just either too scared to show off or too lazy to practice! Of course I can do it! I’ll get the moves down and show them who I am. That’s right!\\n1-7. Choose your preferred style.\\nBe specific. If you want to breakdance, also known as ‘b-boying,’ you first need to know what kind of dance it is. It involves a lot of strength, along with your own creative styles. For this, you have got to be into it. You may feel like the moves you want to learn are so hard, that you just want to give up, but have faith in yourself.\\nThere are lots of different moves for breakdancing. Remember, you can learn any one of the moves, and transform it into your own style.\\n1-8. Be aware of your skill level.\\nPopping, which is one of the common dances along with b-boying, requires some natural skills, as in skills you naturally have, because as you get older, your body’s flexibility tends to become stiffer and stiffer. So you should start practicing when you’re young, or have natural skills.\\nIf you do not have natural skills and didn’t even know about popping when you were a kid, it will require a lot of practice, for popping is literally popping your body on beats. It will either look good with the music or make the audience want to just leave you.\\n1-9. Keep practicing.\\nPractice every day. It doesn’t have to be a harsh practice. Let’s say you’ve been practicing hand-stands, then before you eat dinner, as you wait, just practice little by little.\\nWhen you have free time, practice anywhere around your house. As you walk around, do some moves, keep doing them, keep practicing, because if you practice certain moves a lot, it will become natural.\\n1-10. Perform.\\nAudition for performances! Work hard for it, and make it a good memory. Throw out everything you’ve learned. You can do it individually or with your friends. Put every single move you learned in a song and make a dance! Listen to the audience’s reactions, listen to their advice, and make it better next time! Dancing on stage will encourage you . Be proud of your work, but do not let go, keep working until you reach your goal!\\n1-11. Be prepared for the commitment.\\nDancing takes time. You need to learn the moves, feel comfortable with what you're doing, and try to practice the moves into something new.\\n1-12. Remember that no matter how far you want to go with dancing, keep going.\\nEven though you're not going to be a professional dancer in the future, but still loves dancing - don't quit, if you love that hobby keep it up and never give up.\\nTips\\nIf you have free time, make up a dance routine with your friend and practice it at home. You can use what you’ve made on any performances you plan to perform on, and have more time to add more stuff to it.\\nJust believe in yourself. If you're performing on stage and get nervous, just pretend you're in your room alone dancing to the beat of the music.\\nGet into the dance. Nobody wants to see someone stiff and tight. Make sure you're relaxed, put emotion and facial expression into your moves.\\nWarnings\\nDo not get hurt while either practicing or dancing on stages! Some of the moves can be dangerous, so get some help if you desperately want to learn it.\\nIf you’re going to show your moves off to guys/girls, do it right. Don’t embarrass yourself. Also, you have to be good if you want to show off, or else they will just think that you are one of the cool-dancers-wannabe’s.\\nIf you have stage fright, practice, so you can be your best.[8]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Through dancing, you want to express your feelings, but your body won’t let you?! You want to dance to make yourself look good? With enough confidence and patience, you can do anything!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Love it.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to dance, you have got to love it. Your heart must be into it. Maybe you want to dance to look good in front of boys or girls. However, to look good, you must ignore how other people view you, and concentrate solely on yourself. Your heart must be ‘fully’ into it. If your heart's not into dancing, you will most likely give up when you cannot do certain moves, because it will stress you out. But if you have a desire, you will stick to learning one move until you get it down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Research some well-known dancers.\", \"描述\": \"There are many legendary dancers who encourage many amateur dancers. It is good to look up to them and learn how they learned how to dance.\\nOf course, you should not try to imitate moves that the professional dancers do. It is very hard. But let me remind you of this; pick one of your favorite dancers, and whenever you dance, think of him/her and imagine yourself as if you are him/her. Let him/her be your invisible teacher!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn the moves.\", \"描述\": \"You can either take classes or learn it by yourself. A lot of people watch videos and try to follow along, but most of the time it is difficult. You need someone who can take a look at your moves you have taught yourself, someone you look up to, and he/she can fix your problems.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn some history.\", \"描述\": \"Dancing is one of the ways to express one’s feelings. It is artistic, beautiful, and sometimes indescribable. Also, there are many types of dances. For example, there is breakdance, popping, tutting, locking, etc. These sorts of dances are generally in the Hip-Hop category.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Dance with your friends.\", \"描述\": \"Practicing dancing alone may be boring. And you might want to learn moves from other people too. After assembling your group, look for a nearby dance studio, gym, or even on the streets! Hit your friends up, get speakers, and jam!\\nEven though you might think that you look bad in front of other people, there’s always something satisfying after the hard work right? Ignore the others, just practice and freestyle with your friends, and who knows? Maybe you and your friends can be the world-best dancing group in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't be hard on yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe your friends would tell you that you are bad at dancing. Just ignore them. Even though you think you are bad at dancing, stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself. Why not? Why would you think that you cannot dance?\\nNever say never. Tell yourself, You can do it man! You’re just either too scared to show off or too lazy to practice! Of course I can do it! I’ll get the moves down and show them who I am. That’s right!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Choose your preferred style.\", \"描述\": \"Be specific. If you want to breakdance, also known as ‘b-boying,’ you first need to know what kind of dance it is. It involves a lot of strength, along with your own creative styles. For this, you have got to be into it. You may feel like the moves you want to learn are so hard, that you just want to give up, but have faith in yourself.\\nThere are lots of different moves for breakdancing. Remember, you can learn any one of the moves, and transform it into your own style.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be aware of your skill level.\", \"描述\": \"Popping, which is one of the common dances along with b-boying, requires some natural skills, as in skills you naturally have, because as you get older, your body’s flexibility tends to become stiffer and stiffer. So you should start practicing when you’re young, or have natural skills.\\nIf you do not have natural skills and didn’t even know about popping when you were a kid, it will require a lot of practice, for popping is literally popping your body on beats. It will either look good with the music or make the audience want to just leave you.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Keep practicing.\", \"描述\": \"Practice every day. It doesn’t have to be a harsh practice. Let’s say you’ve been practicing hand-stands, then before you eat dinner, as you wait, just practice little by little.\\nWhen you have free time, practice anywhere around your house. As you walk around, do some moves, keep doing them, keep practicing, because if you practice certain moves a lot, it will become natural.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Perform.\", \"描述\": \"Audition for performances! Work hard for it, and make it a good memory. Throw out everything you’ve learned. You can do it individually or with your friends. Put every single move you learned in a song and make a dance! Listen to the audience’s reactions, listen to their advice, and make it better next time! Dancing on stage will encourage you . Be proud of your work, but do not let go, keep working until you reach your goal!\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for the commitment.\", \"描述\": \"Dancing takes time. You need to learn the moves, feel comfortable with what you're doing, and try to practice the moves into something new.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Remember that no matter how far you want to go with dancing, keep going.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you're not going to be a professional dancer in the future, but still loves dancing - don't quit, if you love that hobby keep it up and never give up.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you have free time, make up a dance routine with your friend and practice it at home. You can use what you’ve made on any performances you plan to perform on, and have more time to add more stuff to it.\\n\", \"Just believe in yourself. If you're performing on stage and get nervous, just pretend you're in your room alone dancing to the beat of the music.\\n\", \"Get into the dance. Nobody wants to see someone stiff and tight. Make sure you're relaxed, put emotion and facial expression into your moves.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not get hurt while either practicing or dancing on stages! Some of the moves can be dangerous, so get some help if you desperately want to learn it.\\n\", \"If you’re going to show your moves off to guys/girls, do it right. Don’t embarrass yourself. Also, you have to be good if you want to show off, or else they will just think that you are one of the cool-dancers-wannabe’s.\\n\", \"If you have stage fright, practice, so you can be your best.[8]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,461 |
How to Be a Good Host
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1. Hosting a Meal or a Party
1-1. Invite people who you like and trust.
Don't bother to invite people if they don't appeal to you or you have no intention of growing close with them. Choosing good guests may enable you to be a better host. Consider also how well the guests will get along with each other. Try not to invite people that you know won't mesh well, or that have a history of winding up at each other's throats.
1-2. Specify a time.
It is important to know when to expect your guest/s. Make sure to give them plenty of advance notice – at least a week, and even more if the occasion is very important. Assume that they will also need to work around their own schedules. Don't tell them to come "sometime" if you really want them to show up. Tell them specifically when to come so that it feels more like an invitation. A range of times is also okay, but it should be no longer than a few hours.
If your guests show up late, try to make them feel welcome. Do not sulk for the rest of the evening, or you may compound the problem. Just continue laughing and ignore the fact they were late.
Telling your guests in advance is just a matter of courtesy. If they know what to expect, it will be much easier for them to plan their schedules around it.
1-3. Take guest preferences and food allergies into account.
When you decide on the food you will be serving, consider your guests' food concerns. Always contact them beforehand and ask if they have any allergies or food specifications. Inviting a vegetarian over for dinner and preparing a roast would be embarrassing for both of you. Be sure to cook something that you're comfortable cooking.
Don't just say, "Do you have any preference for the meal?" Instead, ask your guests to name specifics. Say, "I'm planning the meal for Friday night. Do you have any allergies or food restrictions that I need to be aware of?"
Don't go out of your way to prepare a main course which takes days to make. A good guest will appreciate any decent meal that tastes good.
1-4. Clean house
Before your guests arrive, tidy up the space to convey that you care. If they arrive in a messy household, it shows you do not care for your surroundings, and it may make them feel less welcome in your home. Put away toys, tools, and clutter. Remove allergens by vacuuming carpets, rugs, and upholstered furniture.
If you have a dog that tends to greet, bark at or jump on guests when they come through the door, put it in another room. Some people are scared of dogs and intimidated even by their approach. Some are allergic.
If you have pets, find out beforehand whether your guests have any fears or allergies. If they are allergic, give them a heads up so they can take medication to help better handle the situation.
1-5. Be welcoming.
Once your guests arrive, open the door and show them where to put their things. Show them the bathroom on the way in before taking them to the living room and offering them a seat. Never leave them hanging at the front door; don't expect them to follow you if you don't say anything. If you still have things to prepare, engage with your guests whilst organizing what you have left. By now, you should have finished tidying the area, so that you have only the food to finish.
Have your family or a housemate engage the guests so that you can finish preparing the rest of the food. Keep finger food on the coffee table in the living room to whet everyone's appetites.
Ask your guests if they would like a drink. Offer them at least two options – whatever you think is most suitable for the event. The options could range between coffee, tea, water, beer, and wine.
1-6. Have all of the food ready (or on the way) when your guests arrive.
Don't rush. Move casually otherwise you will let your guests think they have become a burden for you.
1-7. Offer an after-dinner drink.
After you have finished dinner and are eating dessert, offer your guest something to wash down the meal. Depending on the mood and energy of the gathering, consider coffee, tea, or an alcoholic digestif. Sit and talk on the couch with a drink.
1-8. Engage your guests in conversation.
Talk about things that they want to talk about. Ask questions about their work, their travels, their families. Don't complain about how your child was sick all week or how you are having family issues. Show interest in what your guest has to say. Build on the conversation and let it flow.
Business can be a good subject, but be careful with whom you bring it up. Many people like to separate their work from their social lives. Take cues from your guests, and don't try to force any topic.
1-9. Make your guests feel appreciated.
If they want to leave, ask them to stay a bit longer since you have enjoyed their company. Tell them it has been a lovely time, and you are keen to see them again. If you noticed that they enjoyed part of the meal in particular, consider giving a portion of it to them. Tell them you won't need it; say that it's a pleasure to see someone enjoy your food.
2. Hosting Overnight Guests
2-1. Consider how well you know your guests.
Most overnight guest-hosting is a matter of common courtesy; however, the level of access that you give your guests will vary depending who's staying. If you are hosting family or close friends—people that you know and trust—you may invite them to feel at home in your space. If you are hosting a stranger (say, through Airbnb or Couchsurfing.org), you should still be a courteous host, but it may a greater risk to give them the sort of access that you'd give your family.
If you're hosting an Airbnb guest, you may not be around the house when they're around. You may even be away on a trip. Make sure to leave plenty of notes around to help your guests understand the way you want things done.
2-2. Put clean linens onto the bed.
Make sure that there are plenty of clean towels, if possible. Provide a neutral-smelling soap for you guest to use in the shower, and consider setting aside a basic but neutral mid-range shampoo and conditioner for you guest to use.
If he/she has a private room, place all of these toiletries on a bedside table with a note saying "If you need anything else, don't hesitate to ask." If your guest will have a private bathroom, you can just leave the toiletries in the bathroom.
2-3. Provide for your guests' temperature needs.
You never know how someone will feel about the temperature in your home; some like it hot, and some do not. Do not assume that your guest will be comfortable just because you are. Consider leaving an extra blanket in a dresser, at the foot of the bed, or on the top shelf of a closet.
2-4. Consider giving your guests access to laundry machines and an ironing board.
Leave an iron and an ironing board in the closet or corner of the guest bedroom. Show your guests your laundry machines, if you own any, or tell them where they can clean their clothes if need be (say, there's a laundromat down the street). If your guests have traveled a long distance, they might want to freshen up their clothes, and they might need a wash.
2-5. Provide breakfast, but don't feel the need to change your schedule to accommodate your guest.
If you wake up early, leave a note on the bedside table saying that you eat breakfast at 7:00 am (or whatever time), and you'd be happy to have your guest join. You may also simply coordinate breakfast plans with your guest at night before you go to sleep. Make sure to mention what's on the menu for breakfast.
If your guest doesn't like eating breakfast or doesn't want to rise early, you have several options: invite her to use your kitchen, give her a tip about a local breakfast spot, or leave a simple breakfast spread out on the counter for her. Consider leaving some warm baked goods along with butter and jam for your guest to snack on until lunchtime.
It's important to make a guest feel special, but there is a fine line between feeling special and feeling like a stranger in a loved one's home. You need not change your entire family's routine to accommodate your guest.
2-6. Help your guest feel at home.
Encourage guests to help themselves to food, snacks, to go out for a walk, and to make themselves at home. Show them how to find essential amenities like tea, coffee, snacks, internet access and wifi. As a household host, you aren't there to wait on your guest, but to include them in your household routines. Offering to take them out to see local sites or to go on a hike is great, but don't push it if they just want to chill around the house.
2-7. Show your guest around or give her directions.
If you have time, show your guest around your area. Introduce her to local friends, steer her through the sights, and try to give her a good impression of what it's like to live where you live. If you don't have time to spend the whole day with her (say, you have work or school), give her a bit of direction for her explorations, or invite her to hang out at your place until you return.
If your guest wants to explore on her own: don't feel obligated to let her use your car, but consider loaning her a bicycle or a bus pass to get around. Tell her the most effective way to use public transportation. Suggest things that she needs to see, and tell her you'll meet her somewhere after work.
Try to ensure that your guest isn't bored. However, it's not your responsibility to spend every waking moment worrying about whether she's enjoying her stay.
3. General Hosting Tips
3-1. Prepare the house before your guest arrives.
Being a good host is about making people feel comfortable from the minute they walk in the door. This means you need to do some preparation before your guest arrives. Clean the house, have a clear space for guest to put their bags/shoes/coat/umbrella. If you're planning on playing games or watching something, make sure that the supplies are easily accessible.
Anything that could embarrass you may also make your guest uncomfortable: dirt, potentially-offensive books/magazines/movies, or having to root around in the closet or kitchen for something.
Know your guests' allergies beforehand so you can be prepared. Consider allergies to food, drinks, animals, and cleaning products.
3-2. Be clear about the house rules.
When your guest arrives, lay down the basic house rules right away. This doesn't mean that you need to give them a lecture: it means being kind but clear about the expectations for the space in which they've found themselves.
If you like guests to remove their shoes, don't let them walk around for a bit and then comment on it. Pointedly take off your shoes and ask if they would like you to put theirs away too. They will get the hint.
If you have furniture that you don't want your guests to touch or rooms that you don't want them to enter, be clear from the beginning to avoid awkwardness later on.
Point out the bathroom right away. This way, no one will need to ask where it is in the middle of another conversation.
3-3. Give your guest the chance to help out, but make your expectations realistic.
Don't pressure the guest to clean up with you, but don't deny them if they really want to help. Many people would rather contribute than be waited on. Having something to do takes the mind off of any lingering discomfort.
Give your guests little things to do, like emptying the table or putting the dessert on the table.
If they offer to clean the dishes, you may find it most polite to decline and offer them a drink. Sit them at the bar in the kitchen and let them talk to you while you clean dishes. If they are determined, then leave the dishes, sit at the table and talk; ignore the fact that there are dishes to be washed.
3-4. Make sure your guest is physically comfortable.
No one likes to stand in the middle of a room, clutching their bag, wondering where to go. Put away whatever they are holding (if they want you to) and motion for them to take a seat. Offer to get them something to drink. Once they are settled in, it might even be nice to leave the room (maybe under the guise of getting that drink) so that they have a chance to take a break and look around.
If you are constantly with someone, they won't get the chance to absorb the environment, and they might be distracted while you are with them later. This does not mean leave them for a long time – a minute or two tops should do it.
People like having things to do with their hands. So having a drink or munchies can help. Don't offer your guest food and not eat yourself, they will feel rude and gluttonous. Take some snacks too.
3-5. Have a plan of events.
Inviting someone over and then asking them what to do is rude. They won't know what you can and can't do at your home, and they likely won't feel comfortable taking charge of someone else's territory. Even if you aren't sure if the guest will enjoy playing Scrabble, anything is preferable to sitting and staring awkwardly in opposite directions.
3-6. Keep the conversation flowing.
One of your biggest jobs as the host is to keep everything going smoothly. You will need to set a positive tone, and act as a moderator if anything goes awry. Be prepared to smooth tensions: always be ready to change the subject or talk to anyone who's causing trouble. Your social "job" as the host is to make sure that your home is a safe and welcoming space for all who enter – no matter who is causing the problems.
Consider coming up with conversation topics beforehand. Think about what you've been wanting to ask each person – about a new job, or a baby, or a big trip. Plan ahead so you don't have to think about it much in the moment.
Warnings
Don't talk about other people or friends. It leads to gossip and gossip is ugly. You might say something you might regret after they have gone.
If your guest starts to speak rudely about people change the subject or bring out dessert.
If they mention a person you don't like, make it a policy to be silent and nod your head to what they are saying.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Hosting a Meal or a Party\\n1-1. Invite people who you like and trust.\\nDon't bother to invite people if they don't appeal to you or you have no intention of growing close with them. Choosing good guests may enable you to be a better host. Consider also how well the guests will get along with each other. Try not to invite people that you know won't mesh well, or that have a history of winding up at each other's throats.\\n1-2. Specify a time.\\nIt is important to know when to expect your guest/s. Make sure to give them plenty of advance notice – at least a week, and even more if the occasion is very important. Assume that they will also need to work around their own schedules. Don't tell them to come \\\"sometime\\\" if you really want them to show up. Tell them specifically when to come so that it feels more like an invitation. A range of times is also okay, but it should be no longer than a few hours.\\nIf your guests show up late, try to make them feel welcome. Do not sulk for the rest of the evening, or you may compound the problem. Just continue laughing and ignore the fact they were late.\\nTelling your guests in advance is just a matter of courtesy. If they know what to expect, it will be much easier for them to plan their schedules around it.\\n1-3. Take guest preferences and food allergies into account.\\nWhen you decide on the food you will be serving, consider your guests' food concerns. Always contact them beforehand and ask if they have any allergies or food specifications. Inviting a vegetarian over for dinner and preparing a roast would be embarrassing for both of you. Be sure to cook something that you're comfortable cooking.\\nDon't just say, \\\"Do you have any preference for the meal?\\\" Instead, ask your guests to name specifics. Say, \\\"I'm planning the meal for Friday night. Do you have any allergies or food restrictions that I need to be aware of?\\\"\\nDon't go out of your way to prepare a main course which takes days to make. A good guest will appreciate any decent meal that tastes good.\\n1-4. Clean house\\nBefore your guests arrive, tidy up the space to convey that you care. If they arrive in a messy household, it shows you do not care for your surroundings, and it may make them feel less welcome in your home. Put away toys, tools, and clutter. Remove allergens by vacuuming carpets, rugs, and upholstered furniture.\\nIf you have a dog that tends to greet, bark at or jump on guests when they come through the door, put it in another room. Some people are scared of dogs and intimidated even by their approach. Some are allergic.\\nIf you have pets, find out beforehand whether your guests have any fears or allergies. If they are allergic, give them a heads up so they can take medication to help better handle the situation.\\n1-5. Be welcoming.\\nOnce your guests arrive, open the door and show them where to put their things. Show them the bathroom on the way in before taking them to the living room and offering them a seat. Never leave them hanging at the front door; don't expect them to follow you if you don't say anything. If you still have things to prepare, engage with your guests whilst organizing what you have left. By now, you should have finished tidying the area, so that you have only the food to finish.\\nHave your family or a housemate engage the guests so that you can finish preparing the rest of the food. Keep finger food on the coffee table in the living room to whet everyone's appetites.\\nAsk your guests if they would like a drink. Offer them at least two options – whatever you think is most suitable for the event. The options could range between coffee, tea, water, beer, and wine.\\n1-6. Have all of the food ready (or on the way) when your guests arrive.\\nDon't rush. Move casually otherwise you will let your guests think they have become a burden for you.\\n1-7. Offer an after-dinner drink.\\nAfter you have finished dinner and are eating dessert, offer your guest something to wash down the meal. Depending on the mood and energy of the gathering, consider coffee, tea, or an alcoholic digestif. Sit and talk on the couch with a drink.\\n1-8. Engage your guests in conversation.\\nTalk about things that they want to talk about. Ask questions about their work, their travels, their families. Don't complain about how your child was sick all week or how you are having family issues. Show interest in what your guest has to say. Build on the conversation and let it flow.\\nBusiness can be a good subject, but be careful with whom you bring it up. Many people like to separate their work from their social lives. Take cues from your guests, and don't try to force any topic.\\n1-9. Make your guests feel appreciated.\\nIf they want to leave, ask them to stay a bit longer since you have enjoyed their company. Tell them it has been a lovely time, and you are keen to see them again. If you noticed that they enjoyed part of the meal in particular, consider giving a portion of it to them. Tell them you won't need it; say that it's a pleasure to see someone enjoy your food.\\n2. Hosting Overnight Guests\\n2-1. Consider how well you know your guests.\\nMost overnight guest-hosting is a matter of common courtesy; however, the level of access that you give your guests will vary depending who's staying. If you are hosting family or close friends—people that you know and trust—you may invite them to feel at home in your space. If you are hosting a stranger (say, through Airbnb or Couchsurfing.org), you should still be a courteous host, but it may a greater risk to give them the sort of access that you'd give your family.\\nIf you're hosting an Airbnb guest, you may not be around the house when they're around. You may even be away on a trip. Make sure to leave plenty of notes around to help your guests understand the way you want things done.\\n2-2. Put clean linens onto the bed.\\nMake sure that there are plenty of clean towels, if possible. Provide a neutral-smelling soap for you guest to use in the shower, and consider setting aside a basic but neutral mid-range shampoo and conditioner for you guest to use.\\nIf he/she has a private room, place all of these toiletries on a bedside table with a note saying \\\"If you need anything else, don't hesitate to ask.\\\" If your guest will have a private bathroom, you can just leave the toiletries in the bathroom.\\n2-3. Provide for your guests' temperature needs.\\nYou never know how someone will feel about the temperature in your home; some like it hot, and some do not. Do not assume that your guest will be comfortable just because you are. Consider leaving an extra blanket in a dresser, at the foot of the bed, or on the top shelf of a closet.\\n2-4. Consider giving your guests access to laundry machines and an ironing board.\\nLeave an iron and an ironing board in the closet or corner of the guest bedroom. Show your guests your laundry machines, if you own any, or tell them where they can clean their clothes if need be (say, there's a laundromat down the street). If your guests have traveled a long distance, they might want to freshen up their clothes, and they might need a wash.\\n2-5. Provide breakfast, but don't feel the need to change your schedule to accommodate your guest.\\nIf you wake up early, leave a note on the bedside table saying that you eat breakfast at 7:00 am (or whatever time), and you'd be happy to have your guest join. You may also simply coordinate breakfast plans with your guest at night before you go to sleep. Make sure to mention what's on the menu for breakfast.\\nIf your guest doesn't like eating breakfast or doesn't want to rise early, you have several options: invite her to use your kitchen, give her a tip about a local breakfast spot, or leave a simple breakfast spread out on the counter for her. Consider leaving some warm baked goods along with butter and jam for your guest to snack on until lunchtime.\\nIt's important to make a guest feel special, but there is a fine line between feeling special and feeling like a stranger in a loved one's home. You need not change your entire family's routine to accommodate your guest.\\n2-6. Help your guest feel at home.\\nEncourage guests to help themselves to food, snacks, to go out for a walk, and to make themselves at home. Show them how to find essential amenities like tea, coffee, snacks, internet access and wifi. As a household host, you aren't there to wait on your guest, but to include them in your household routines. Offering to take them out to see local sites or to go on a hike is great, but don't push it if they just want to chill around the house.\\n2-7. Show your guest around or give her directions.\\nIf you have time, show your guest around your area. Introduce her to local friends, steer her through the sights, and try to give her a good impression of what it's like to live where you live. If you don't have time to spend the whole day with her (say, you have work or school), give her a bit of direction for her explorations, or invite her to hang out at your place until you return.\\nIf your guest wants to explore on her own: don't feel obligated to let her use your car, but consider loaning her a bicycle or a bus pass to get around. Tell her the most effective way to use public transportation. Suggest things that she needs to see, and tell her you'll meet her somewhere after work.\\nTry to ensure that your guest isn't bored. However, it's not your responsibility to spend every waking moment worrying about whether she's enjoying her stay.\\n3. General Hosting Tips\\n3-1. Prepare the house before your guest arrives.\\nBeing a good host is about making people feel comfortable from the minute they walk in the door. This means you need to do some preparation before your guest arrives. Clean the house, have a clear space for guest to put their bags/shoes/coat/umbrella. If you're planning on playing games or watching something, make sure that the supplies are easily accessible.\\nAnything that could embarrass you may also make your guest uncomfortable: dirt, potentially-offensive books/magazines/movies, or having to root around in the closet or kitchen for something.\\nKnow your guests' allergies beforehand so you can be prepared. Consider allergies to food, drinks, animals, and cleaning products.\\n3-2. Be clear about the house rules.\\nWhen your guest arrives, lay down the basic house rules right away. This doesn't mean that you need to give them a lecture: it means being kind but clear about the expectations for the space in which they've found themselves.\\nIf you like guests to remove their shoes, don't let them walk around for a bit and then comment on it. Pointedly take off your shoes and ask if they would like you to put theirs away too. They will get the hint.\\nIf you have furniture that you don't want your guests to touch or rooms that you don't want them to enter, be clear from the beginning to avoid awkwardness later on.\\nPoint out the bathroom right away. This way, no one will need to ask where it is in the middle of another conversation.\\n3-3. Give your guest the chance to help out, but make your expectations realistic.\\nDon't pressure the guest to clean up with you, but don't deny them if they really want to help. Many people would rather contribute than be waited on. Having something to do takes the mind off of any lingering discomfort.\\nGive your guests little things to do, like emptying the table or putting the dessert on the table.\\nIf they offer to clean the dishes, you may find it most polite to decline and offer them a drink. Sit them at the bar in the kitchen and let them talk to you while you clean dishes. If they are determined, then leave the dishes, sit at the table and talk; ignore the fact that there are dishes to be washed.\\n3-4. Make sure your guest is physically comfortable.\\nNo one likes to stand in the middle of a room, clutching their bag, wondering where to go. Put away whatever they are holding (if they want you to) and motion for them to take a seat. Offer to get them something to drink. Once they are settled in, it might even be nice to leave the room (maybe under the guise of getting that drink) so that they have a chance to take a break and look around.\\nIf you are constantly with someone, they won't get the chance to absorb the environment, and they might be distracted while you are with them later. This does not mean leave them for a long time – a minute or two tops should do it.\\nPeople like having things to do with their hands. So having a drink or munchies can help. Don't offer your guest food and not eat yourself, they will feel rude and gluttonous. Take some snacks too.\\n3-5. Have a plan of events.\\nInviting someone over and then asking them what to do is rude. They won't know what you can and can't do at your home, and they likely won't feel comfortable taking charge of someone else's territory. Even if you aren't sure if the guest will enjoy playing Scrabble, anything is preferable to sitting and staring awkwardly in opposite directions.\\n3-6. Keep the conversation flowing.\\nOne of your biggest jobs as the host is to keep everything going smoothly. You will need to set a positive tone, and act as a moderator if anything goes awry. Be prepared to smooth tensions: always be ready to change the subject or talk to anyone who's causing trouble. Your social \\\"job\\\" as the host is to make sure that your home is a safe and welcoming space for all who enter – no matter who is causing the problems.\\nConsider coming up with conversation topics beforehand. Think about what you've been wanting to ask each person – about a new job, or a baby, or a big trip. Plan ahead so you don't have to think about it much in the moment.\\nWarnings\\nDon't talk about other people or friends. It leads to gossip and gossip is ugly. You might say something you might regret after they have gone.\\nIf your guest starts to speak rudely about people change the subject or bring out dessert.\\nIf they mention a person you don't like, make it a policy to be silent and nod your head to what they are saying.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"To some degree, the rules for hosting depend on the guest and the situation. Perhaps you are hosting an overnight guest, or maybe you're having a dinner party. If it's a very close friend or family member, you can be a bit more relaxed. However, if your family member is bringing a stranger to your home, you may need to step up your host game. No matter the guest or the situation, there are a few guidelines that you can follow to help your guests feel at home.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hosting a Meal or a Party\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Invite people who you like and trust.\", \"描述\": \"Don't bother to invite people if they don't appeal to you or you have no intention of growing close with them. Choosing good guests may enable you to be a better host. Consider also how well the guests will get along with each other. Try not to invite people that you know won't mesh well, or that have a history of winding up at each other's throats.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Specify a time.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to know when to expect your guest/s. Make sure to give them plenty of advance notice – at least a week, and even more if the occasion is very important. Assume that they will also need to work around their own schedules. Don't tell them to come \\\"sometime\\\" if you really want them to show up. Tell them specifically when to come so that it feels more like an invitation. A range of times is also okay, but it should be no longer than a few hours.\\nIf your guests show up late, try to make them feel welcome. Do not sulk for the rest of the evening, or you may compound the problem. Just continue laughing and ignore the fact they were late.\\nTelling your guests in advance is just a matter of courtesy. If they know what to expect, it will be much easier for them to plan their schedules around it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take guest preferences and food allergies into account.\", \"描述\": \"When you decide on the food you will be serving, consider your guests' food concerns. Always contact them beforehand and ask if they have any allergies or food specifications. Inviting a vegetarian over for dinner and preparing a roast would be embarrassing for both of you. Be sure to cook something that you're comfortable cooking.\\nDon't just say, \\\"Do you have any preference for the meal?\\\" Instead, ask your guests to name specifics. Say, \\\"I'm planning the meal for Friday night. Do you have any allergies or food restrictions that I need to be aware of?\\\"\\nDon't go out of your way to prepare a main course which takes days to make. A good guest will appreciate any decent meal that tastes good.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Clean house\", \"描述\": \"Before your guests arrive, tidy up the space to convey that you care. If they arrive in a messy household, it shows you do not care for your surroundings, and it may make them feel less welcome in your home. Put away toys, tools, and clutter. Remove allergens by vacuuming carpets, rugs, and upholstered furniture.\\nIf you have a dog that tends to greet, bark at or jump on guests when they come through the door, put it in another room. Some people are scared of dogs and intimidated even by their approach. Some are allergic.\\nIf you have pets, find out beforehand whether your guests have any fears or allergies. If they are allergic, give them a heads up so they can take medication to help better handle the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be welcoming.\", \"描述\": \"Once your guests arrive, open the door and show them where to put their things. Show them the bathroom on the way in before taking them to the living room and offering them a seat. Never leave them hanging at the front door; don't expect them to follow you if you don't say anything. If you still have things to prepare, engage with your guests whilst organizing what you have left. By now, you should have finished tidying the area, so that you have only the food to finish.\\nHave your family or a housemate engage the guests so that you can finish preparing the rest of the food. Keep finger food on the coffee table in the living room to whet everyone's appetites.\\nAsk your guests if they would like a drink. Offer them at least two options – whatever you think is most suitable for the event. The options could range between coffee, tea, water, beer, and wine.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have all of the food ready (or on the way) when your guests arrive.\", \"描述\": \"Don't rush. Move casually otherwise you will let your guests think they have become a burden for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Offer an after-dinner drink.\", \"描述\": \"After you have finished dinner and are eating dessert, offer your guest something to wash down the meal. Depending on the mood and energy of the gathering, consider coffee, tea, or an alcoholic digestif. Sit and talk on the couch with a drink.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Engage your guests in conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Talk about things that they want to talk about. Ask questions about their work, their travels, their families. Don't complain about how your child was sick all week or how you are having family issues. Show interest in what your guest has to say. Build on the conversation and let it flow.\\nBusiness can be a good subject, but be careful with whom you bring it up. Many people like to separate their work from their social lives. Take cues from your guests, and don't try to force any topic.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Make your guests feel appreciated.\", \"描述\": \"If they want to leave, ask them to stay a bit longer since you have enjoyed their company. Tell them it has been a lovely time, and you are keen to see them again. If you noticed that they enjoyed part of the meal in particular, consider giving a portion of it to them. Tell them you won't need it; say that it's a pleasure to see someone enjoy your food.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hosting Overnight Guests\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider how well you know your guests.\", \"描述\": \"Most overnight guest-hosting is a matter of common courtesy; however, the level of access that you give your guests will vary depending who's staying. If you are hosting family or close friends—people that you know and trust—you may invite them to feel at home in your space. If you are hosting a stranger (say, through Airbnb or Couchsurfing.org), you should still be a courteous host, but it may a greater risk to give them the sort of access that you'd give your family.\\nIf you're hosting an Airbnb guest, you may not be around the house when they're around. You may even be away on a trip. Make sure to leave plenty of notes around to help your guests understand the way you want things done.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put clean linens onto the bed.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that there are plenty of clean towels, if possible. Provide a neutral-smelling soap for you guest to use in the shower, and consider setting aside a basic but neutral mid-range shampoo and conditioner for you guest to use.\\nIf he/she has a private room, place all of these toiletries on a bedside table with a note saying \\\"If you need anything else, don't hesitate to ask.\\\" If your guest will have a private bathroom, you can just leave the toiletries in the bathroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Provide for your guests' temperature needs.\", \"描述\": \"You never know how someone will feel about the temperature in your home; some like it hot, and some do not. Do not assume that your guest will be comfortable just because you are. Consider leaving an extra blanket in a dresser, at the foot of the bed, or on the top shelf of a closet.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider giving your guests access to laundry machines and an ironing board.\", \"描述\": \"Leave an iron and an ironing board in the closet or corner of the guest bedroom. Show your guests your laundry machines, if you own any, or tell them where they can clean their clothes if need be (say, there's a laundromat down the street). If your guests have traveled a long distance, they might want to freshen up their clothes, and they might need a wash.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Provide breakfast, but don't feel the need to change your schedule to accommodate your guest.\", \"描述\": \"If you wake up early, leave a note on the bedside table saying that you eat breakfast at 7:00 am (or whatever time), and you'd be happy to have your guest join. You may also simply coordinate breakfast plans with your guest at night before you go to sleep. Make sure to mention what's on the menu for breakfast.\\nIf your guest doesn't like eating breakfast or doesn't want to rise early, you have several options: invite her to use your kitchen, give her a tip about a local breakfast spot, or leave a simple breakfast spread out on the counter for her. Consider leaving some warm baked goods along with butter and jam for your guest to snack on until lunchtime.\\nIt's important to make a guest feel special, but there is a fine line between feeling special and feeling like a stranger in a loved one's home. You need not change your entire family's routine to accommodate your guest.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Help your guest feel at home.\", \"描述\": \"Encourage guests to help themselves to food, snacks, to go out for a walk, and to make themselves at home. Show them how to find essential amenities like tea, coffee, snacks, internet access and wifi. As a household host, you aren't there to wait on your guest, but to include them in your household routines. Offering to take them out to see local sites or to go on a hike is great, but don't push it if they just want to chill around the house.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Show your guest around or give her directions.\", \"描述\": \"If you have time, show your guest around your area. Introduce her to local friends, steer her through the sights, and try to give her a good impression of what it's like to live where you live. If you don't have time to spend the whole day with her (say, you have work or school), give her a bit of direction for her explorations, or invite her to hang out at your place until you return.\\nIf your guest wants to explore on her own: don't feel obligated to let her use your car, but consider loaning her a bicycle or a bus pass to get around. Tell her the most effective way to use public transportation. Suggest things that she needs to see, and tell her you'll meet her somewhere after work.\\nTry to ensure that your guest isn't bored. However, it's not your responsibility to spend every waking moment worrying about whether she's enjoying her stay.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"General Hosting Tips\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare the house before your guest arrives.\", \"描述\": \"Being a good host is about making people feel comfortable from the minute they walk in the door. This means you need to do some preparation before your guest arrives. Clean the house, have a clear space for guest to put their bags/shoes/coat/umbrella. If you're planning on playing games or watching something, make sure that the supplies are easily accessible.\\nAnything that could embarrass you may also make your guest uncomfortable: dirt, potentially-offensive books/magazines/movies, or having to root around in the closet or kitchen for something.\\nKnow your guests' allergies beforehand so you can be prepared. Consider allergies to food, drinks, animals, and cleaning products.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be clear about the house rules.\", \"描述\": \"When your guest arrives, lay down the basic house rules right away. This doesn't mean that you need to give them a lecture: it means being kind but clear about the expectations for the space in which they've found themselves.\\nIf you like guests to remove their shoes, don't let them walk around for a bit and then comment on it. Pointedly take off your shoes and ask if they would like you to put theirs away too. They will get the hint.\\nIf you have furniture that you don't want your guests to touch or rooms that you don't want them to enter, be clear from the beginning to avoid awkwardness later on.\\nPoint out the bathroom right away. This way, no one will need to ask where it is in the middle of another conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give your guest the chance to help out, but make your expectations realistic.\", \"描述\": \"Don't pressure the guest to clean up with you, but don't deny them if they really want to help. Many people would rather contribute than be waited on. Having something to do takes the mind off of any lingering discomfort.\\nGive your guests little things to do, like emptying the table or putting the dessert on the table.\\nIf they offer to clean the dishes, you may find it most polite to decline and offer them a drink. Sit them at the bar in the kitchen and let them talk to you while you clean dishes. If they are determined, then leave the dishes, sit at the table and talk; ignore the fact that there are dishes to be washed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure your guest is physically comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"No one likes to stand in the middle of a room, clutching their bag, wondering where to go. Put away whatever they are holding (if they want you to) and motion for them to take a seat. Offer to get them something to drink. Once they are settled in, it might even be nice to leave the room (maybe under the guise of getting that drink) so that they have a chance to take a break and look around.\\nIf you are constantly with someone, they won't get the chance to absorb the environment, and they might be distracted while you are with them later. This does not mean leave them for a long time – a minute or two tops should do it.\\nPeople like having things to do with their hands. So having a drink or munchies can help. Don't offer your guest food and not eat yourself, they will feel rude and gluttonous. Take some snacks too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have a plan of events.\", \"描述\": \"Inviting someone over and then asking them what to do is rude. They won't know what you can and can't do at your home, and they likely won't feel comfortable taking charge of someone else's territory. Even if you aren't sure if the guest will enjoy playing Scrabble, anything is preferable to sitting and staring awkwardly in opposite directions.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep the conversation flowing.\", \"描述\": \"One of your biggest jobs as the host is to keep everything going smoothly. You will need to set a positive tone, and act as a moderator if anything goes awry. Be prepared to smooth tensions: always be ready to change the subject or talk to anyone who's causing trouble. Your social \\\"job\\\" as the host is to make sure that your home is a safe and welcoming space for all who enter – no matter who is causing the problems.\\nConsider coming up with conversation topics beforehand. Think about what you've been wanting to ask each person – about a new job, or a baby, or a big trip. Plan ahead so you don't have to think about it much in the moment.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't talk about other people or friends. It leads to gossip and gossip is ugly. You might say something you might regret after they have gone.\\n\", \"If your guest starts to speak rudely about people change the subject or bring out dessert.\\n\", \"If they mention a person you don't like, make it a policy to be silent and nod your head to what they are saying.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,462 |
How to Be a Good Host when Friends Come to Your House
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1. Welcoming Your Friends
1-1. Welcome your friends.
When they arrive smile, and say "hi", then let them come in. Be polite and friendly, and make sure to ask them how they are.
Introduce your friends to people in the household they don't yet know.
Offer compliments on how they look and offer gratitude for any gifts that they bring with them.
1-2. Let your friends know about your house.
If it is the first time at your house give them a 'house tour', to let them know where everything is. Be alert to the fact that it's better to show guests the bathroom and let them know where they can do such things as change a baby's diaper, grab a glass of water, etc. without having to ask you direct.
If there is somewhere your friends shouldn't go, such as a baby's room, an elderly person's room, etc., make this clear. It's better than having them embarrassed by wandering into baby's room and waking baby up when looking for the bathroom, etc.
2. Offering Refreshments
2-1. Start with an offer of a drink.
If possible, have a selection of drinks (water, orange juice, apple juice, coke, lemonade, etc.) to make sure that you have something they like. Always have fresh, clean water on hand, and make sure all cups and glasses are clean for your friend to drink out of.
If you don't have a lot of room or money to spare, ask what sorts of drinks they like before they come over. Remember this for future visits.
Keep an eye on the drinks during the time your friends are with you. Offer top ups as needed.
2-2. Offer your friends a snack.
Have a small platter set up in advance. Some good snacks include:
Chips
Cheese
Crackers
Dip.
2-3. Ask your friends what they would like to do if you haven't already planned something.
Have a couple of board games on hand to play, and some magazines to look at. If you have a garden, ask if they would like to go and play outside. If you have a pool, and it is warm, beforehand ask your friend to bring their bathers so you can go swimming. Having a chat over the nibbles is also a great way to spend the time together.
If the friends are children, have things ready for them to do.
3. On Leaving
3-1. Help your friends find all of their bits and pieces before leaving.
If you noticed they were carrying something but seem to have forgotten it, ask about it.
If your friends brought food, see if they need the dish back. Either clean it now or offer to return it later if this is impractical.
3-2. Thank your friends for coming over.
Say that you've had a wonderful time and hope that you can all get together again some time soon. Let them know that they are welcome again any day.
Tips
Be hospitable. Remember that your friends are there to enjoy themselves and to feel welcome.
Do a good clean before your friends arrive. If there are children coming, put away anything that might get broken or be a choking hazard.
Always have good ice breakers for those... silent moments.
Warnings
If your friend's children are committing mayhem in your house, it is perfectly okay to ask the children to stop. Find them something to distract them. At the same time, keep smiling and let the parents know it's okay, you just don't want the carpet/wall/whatever painted another color but you're happy for them to do X instead. Do not scold the kids; that's the parent's job.
Never make the guest feel uncomfortable. Even if you decide halfway through that your friend's a boor and you want to call it all off, stay polite and be the perfect host until the end. You can resolve personal issues on another occasion. Don't try to avoid them, either. That might make them a bit sad.
You may be tempted to comment on table manners. Don't. It's not your place.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Welcoming Your Friends\\n1-1. Welcome your friends.\\nWhen they arrive smile, and say \\\"hi\\\", then let them come in. Be polite and friendly, and make sure to ask them how they are.\\nIntroduce your friends to people in the household they don't yet know.\\nOffer compliments on how they look and offer gratitude for any gifts that they bring with them.\\n1-2. Let your friends know about your house.\\nIf it is the first time at your house give them a 'house tour', to let them know where everything is. Be alert to the fact that it's better to show guests the bathroom and let them know where they can do such things as change a baby's diaper, grab a glass of water, etc. without having to ask you direct.\\nIf there is somewhere your friends shouldn't go, such as a baby's room, an elderly person's room, etc., make this clear. It's better than having them embarrassed by wandering into baby's room and waking baby up when looking for the bathroom, etc.\\n2. Offering Refreshments\\n2-1. Start with an offer of a drink.\\nIf possible, have a selection of drinks (water, orange juice, apple juice, coke, lemonade, etc.) to make sure that you have something they like. Always have fresh, clean water on hand, and make sure all cups and glasses are clean for your friend to drink out of.\\nIf you don't have a lot of room or money to spare, ask what sorts of drinks they like before they come over. Remember this for future visits.\\nKeep an eye on the drinks during the time your friends are with you. Offer top ups as needed.\\n2-2. Offer your friends a snack.\\nHave a small platter set up in advance. Some good snacks include:\\nChips\\nCheese\\nCrackers\\nDip.\\n2-3. Ask your friends what they would like to do if you haven't already planned something.\\nHave a couple of board games on hand to play, and some magazines to look at. If you have a garden, ask if they would like to go and play outside. If you have a pool, and it is warm, beforehand ask your friend to bring their bathers so you can go swimming. Having a chat over the nibbles is also a great way to spend the time together.\\nIf the friends are children, have things ready for them to do.\\n3. On Leaving\\n3-1. Help your friends find all of their bits and pieces before leaving.\\nIf you noticed they were carrying something but seem to have forgotten it, ask about it.\\nIf your friends brought food, see if they need the dish back. Either clean it now or offer to return it later if this is impractical.\\n3-2. Thank your friends for coming over.\\nSay that you've had a wonderful time and hope that you can all get together again some time soon. Let them know that they are welcome again any day.\\nTips\\nBe hospitable. Remember that your friends are there to enjoy themselves and to feel welcome.\\nDo a good clean before your friends arrive. If there are children coming, put away anything that might get broken or be a choking hazard.\\nAlways have good ice breakers for those... silent moments.\\nWarnings\\nIf your friend's children are committing mayhem in your house, it is perfectly okay to ask the children to stop. Find them something to distract them. At the same time, keep smiling and let the parents know it's okay, you just don't want the carpet/wall/whatever painted another color but you're happy for them to do X instead. Do not scold the kids; that's the parent's job.\\nNever make the guest feel uncomfortable. Even if you decide halfway through that your friend's a boor and you want to call it all off, stay polite and be the perfect host until the end. You can resolve personal issues on another occasion. Don't try to avoid them, either. That might make them a bit sad.\\nYou may be tempted to comment on table manners. Don't. It's not your place.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Having friends round is fun and all, but not for them if you're a bad host! Being a good host and making them feel welcome is key to a good time together. Read on to learn how you can be the \\\"hostess with the most!\\\"\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Welcoming Your Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Welcome your friends.\", \"描述\": \"When they arrive smile, and say \\\"hi\\\", then let them come in. Be polite and friendly, and make sure to ask them how they are.\\nIntroduce your friends to people in the household they don't yet know.\\nOffer compliments on how they look and offer gratitude for any gifts that they bring with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let your friends know about your house.\", \"描述\": \"If it is the first time at your house give them a 'house tour', to let them know where everything is. Be alert to the fact that it's better to show guests the bathroom and let them know where they can do such things as change a baby's diaper, grab a glass of water, etc. without having to ask you direct.\\nIf there is somewhere your friends shouldn't go, such as a baby's room, an elderly person's room, etc., make this clear. It's better than having them embarrassed by wandering into baby's room and waking baby up when looking for the bathroom, etc.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offering Refreshments\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start with an offer of a drink.\", \"描述\": \"If possible, have a selection of drinks (water, orange juice, apple juice, coke, lemonade, etc.) to make sure that you have something they like. Always have fresh, clean water on hand, and make sure all cups and glasses are clean for your friend to drink out of.\\nIf you don't have a lot of room or money to spare, ask what sorts of drinks they like before they come over. Remember this for future visits.\\nKeep an eye on the drinks during the time your friends are with you. Offer top ups as needed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer your friends a snack.\", \"描述\": \"Have a small platter set up in advance. Some good snacks include:\\nChips\\nCheese\\nCrackers\\nDip.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask your friends what they would like to do if you haven't already planned something.\", \"描述\": \"Have a couple of board games on hand to play, and some magazines to look at. If you have a garden, ask if they would like to go and play outside. If you have a pool, and it is warm, beforehand ask your friend to bring their bathers so you can go swimming. Having a chat over the nibbles is also a great way to spend the time together.\\nIf the friends are children, have things ready for them to do.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"On Leaving\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Help your friends find all of their bits and pieces before leaving.\", \"描述\": \"If you noticed they were carrying something but seem to have forgotten it, ask about it.\\nIf your friends brought food, see if they need the dish back. Either clean it now or offer to return it later if this is impractical.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Thank your friends for coming over.\", \"描述\": \"Say that you've had a wonderful time and hope that you can all get together again some time soon. Let them know that they are welcome again any day.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be hospitable. Remember that your friends are there to enjoy themselves and to feel welcome.\\n\", \"Do a good clean before your friends arrive. If there are children coming, put away anything that might get broken or be a choking hazard.\\n\", \"Always have good ice breakers for those... silent moments.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If your friend's children are committing mayhem in your house, it is perfectly okay to ask the children to stop. Find them something to distract them. At the same time, keep smiling and let the parents know it's okay, you just don't want the carpet/wall/whatever painted another color but you're happy for them to do X instead. Do not scold the kids; that's the parent's job.\\n\", \"Never make the guest feel uncomfortable. Even if you decide halfway through that your friend's a boor and you want to call it all off, stay polite and be the perfect host until the end. You can resolve personal issues on another occasion. Don't try to avoid them, either. That might make them a bit sad.\\n\", \"You may be tempted to comment on table manners. Don't. It's not your place.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,463 |
How to Be a Good Hostess
|
1. Making Your Preparations
1-1. Have plenty of food and drinks for everyone.
If you’re hosting a party for adults, then the #1 rule is that you absolutely can’t run out of drinks. Of course, you can always have a sober guest make a trip to the liquor store, but if you really want to have a successful party, then you should make sure there is more than enough food and drinks for everyone. Make sure to have different types of alcohol and many snacking options so that there is something for each one of your guests.
If you’re planning on serving dinner at your party, make this clear so your guests come with their appetites in tow. If you’re just planning on having snacks, then you should make this clear, too, so your guests know that they should eat in advance.
It’s important to have enough to drink because your guests will be more likely to leave and see that things are winding down if you run out of alcohol. Always get at least 25% drinks than you think you’ll reasonably need; you can always have the rest later or send guests home with a bottle of wine.
Try to have a more food than you think everyone will eat. Have a few extra less perishable items, such as chips, so you can save them if the guests don’t get to them.
1-2. Create a warm and welcoming space.
As you clean your home and prepare for your party, you should make sure the environment is set up so that your guests can comfortably mingle, hang out, and feel relaxed. This means having plenty of seating space, coasters for people to place their drinks down on, and trying to arrange the furniture so the room is as open as possible so people don’t segregate themselves into little clusters.
You should also create enough warm, soft lighting so that the guests can see each other and not feel sleepy, but you don’t need too many glaring bright lights or your guests may not feel so comfortable.
Make sure you set your room to a reasonable temperature and that you ask your guests whether they are hot or cold throughout the night.
If it’s fall, the holiday time, or another festive time, then you can leave little festive touches around your home for your guests.
1-3. Leave out a few conversational pieces.
If you’d like to play it safe, you can leave a few conversational pieces out around your home so your guests have something to talk about if the conversation gets stale. You can leave out a collection of your musical albums, a photo album, or some souvenirs you got on a recent trip. Just a few eye-catching objects will give your guests something to ask you about or to talk about.
Creating a unique appetizer or making a mixed drink your guests have never had before will also give them something to talk about.
1-4. Make sure your guests will get along for the most part.
Though you can’t ensure that everyone will get along, if you want to host a successful party, then you should try to invite guests who have similar temperaments or who share at least some of the same interests. Though it’s great to have completely different people together in the same room and to have them mingle and have fascinating conversations, you should make sure not to have too many “problem” people together in the same room or you may have some trouble on your hands.
Plus, knowing that your guests will generally get along will make you feel less stressed out when the time of the party comes.
1-5. Give your guests all of the information they need in advance.
If you want to be a successful hostess, then you should tell your guests when the party is, where the party is, and what they need to or don’t need to bring. You don’t want them showing up empty-handed to a potluck or bringing a ton of beer when you already have two mini-kegs. Let them know all of the particulars of your party at least a week in advance.
If they don’t already have your phone number, make sure you give it to them so they can call you if they have questions or if they get lost.
If you’re throwing a theme party or want the party to be elegant, make sure the guests have at least a week or two to prepare a suitable outfit.
1-6. Start preparing well in advance.
You should start preparing your drinks and snacks at least an hour earlier than you think it’ll take for you to get everything done. Though you don’t want to leave that guacamole out an extra hour or two, you should prepare as many of the foods and drinks as you can well in advance so your guests don’t arrive when you’ve only started baking that pumpkin pie. Being ready when those first guests arrive can help you feel more in the zone when it comes to hosting a good party.
That said, you can leave some easy tasks until last minute in the kitchen. These can be great for guests who are more shy who want to help you out.
If you’re hosting a big party, don’t be ashamed to ask a friend for help. It can be more fun to get your home party-ready with a buddy.
2. Hosting a Successful Party
2-1. Welcome your guests.
You should be as warm and welcoming as possible when your guests arrive. Smile at them, give them big hugs, ask how they are, and make them feel like you’re really excited and happy that they’re there. You should also tell them where to put their shoes, or tell them that it’s okay for them to leave them on, hang up their coats or tell them where the coat room is, and take any foods or drinks they’ve brought off their hands.
Make each guest feel comfortable and welcome as soon as they walk through the door.
2-2. Orient them.
If a lot of the guests at the party haven’t been to your home before, you should quickly let them know where the kitchen, bathroom, outdoor patio, and anything else they may be looking for are. This helps them feel at home and won’t lead them to ask too many questions later. If multiple guests show up at once, just make sure you tell all of them where everything is as soon as you can.
2-3. Offer your guests food and drinks.
As soon as you’ve welcomed your guests and oriented them, you should make sure they have some food to eat or a drink in their hands. If you’re having an alcohol-friendly party, then making sure everyone has a drink can help people feel comfortable and can get that party started as quickly as possible. People may be shy about asking for food or a drink so make sure you offer them what they need as soon as you can.
Open beers for people if they want beers, pour them wine if that’s what they want, or tell them about the liquor you have if that’s what they have a hankering for. Of course, if you don’t want things to get too rowdy early on, you can do away with the hard stuff or bring it out later in the evening.
You should also check in advance to make sure your guests don’t have any allergies, and let your guests know which foods are peanut-free, gluten-free, vegetarian, and so on.
Make sure to also have soda, juice, and other non-alcoholic drinks so non-drinkers don’t feel left out.
2-4. Introduce your guests to each other.
Another important duty you have as a hostess is to make sure all of your guests meet each other and that they have something to talk about. If it’s a bigger party and not everyone knows each other, you should introduce your guests to each other and quickly explain their connection to you, while also bringing up something they might have in common.
You can say something like, “Sue, this is Joey, a childhood friend of mine. Joey, this is Sue. She works at the school with me.”
You can also add something about common ground they may share. Say something like, “Isn’t it funny, you’re both from Alaska!” or “You two must be the most loyal Lakers fans I’ve ever met.”
You should also look around for guests who seem lonely or like they’re not really talking much. Introduce them to people you think they might like.
2-5. Circulate.
In order to keep your party environment fun and friendly, you have to make sure to circulate and mingle with all of your guests. You don’t want some of your guests to feel neglected in favor of other guests, and you need to see how all of your guests are and what they’ve been up to so they feel wanted and welcome at your party. Make sure to mingle at least every 10-15 minutes, to bring new people into the conversation, or to leave to get a guest another drink or some more food when he needs it.
You should try to have fun at your own party while also being attentive to the needs of your guests.
If you feel like conversations are growing stale, you should try to bring a different group of people together or open up your conversation to a larger group.
2-6. Provide some entertainment, but don’t force it.
You should have some entertainment around just in case your guests grow weary or just because you want to spice things up. Just remember that some people just come to parties to hang out and that you don’t want your guests to feel like you’re forcing them to play games or do activities they don’t want to do. Still, it’s good to be prepared with some entertainment, just in case. Here are some things you can try:
Board games, such as Clue or Life
Other games, such as Twister
Video games
A fun outdoor activity to play in your yard, such as cornhole, horseshoe, or bocce
2-7. Don’t leave your guests alone for too long.
Though you may need to go to the kitchen to grab more drinks or prepare more food, or you may have something else to tend to, as a rule, you shouldn’t leave your guests for more than a few minutes at a time. Remember that you’re the center of the party and that your guests are depending on you to have a good time and to feel welcome and comfortable. It’s especially important to be there if a lot of your guests don’t know each other and need you to help people socialize.
It’s okay to ask a close friend to help you out with something party-related, such as making more mixed drinks or cleaning up a mess, that will help you minimize time spent away from your guests.
3. Wrapping Up
3-1. Don’t clean up while your guests are still there.
If you want to be a good hostess, then you should avoid cleaning up while the guests are there at all costs. Though you can clean up spills or a few messes as they occur, if you’re in the kitchen washing glasses and food bowls out in the middle of the party, then your guests will see this as a sign that they are welcome to leave. Though you may hate to see a mess, remember that having a fun party is more important than having everything clean by the time the last guest leaves.
Even if there are only a few guests left, cleaning up sends the message that you want them to leave. If you really are ready for the party to end, it’s better to be honest about it than hoping they get the message.
You can also arrange to have a friend or two stay late to help you clean up in advance. This will keep you from worrying about having a huge mess on your hands at the end of the party.
3-2. Stay calm if someone makes a mess.
If someone spills wine on your carpet, tips over that bowl of nachos, or accidentally knocks over a painting, try not to act too upset or to make your guests feel bad about what happened. After all, you’re the one who decided to throw a party, and big messes come with the territory. If you get visibly upset or stressed out, then your guest will feel terrible and people will think you’re too uptight to throw a fun party.
Just say something like, “Don’t worry about it at all. This kind of thing always happens at parties, and it’s no big deal.”
If you want to avoid damaging anything that really means a lot to you, then you can move out meaningful keepsakes, vases, or souvenirs before the party starts.
3-3. Make your guests feel welcome until the end of the night.
You should be warm and welcoming toward your guests for the duration of the party. If you’ve mentioned an end time and that time has not come yet, then you’ll have to do your best to continue being a good hostess and making other people welcome in your home. You don’t want guests to suddenly feel like they’re being a burden to you or that you just want them to go home already.
Remember that you’re the one who decided to throw a fun party, and that now you have to follow through.
3-4. Consider leaving your guests with parting gifts.
As your party wraps up, you can give your guests something to leave with, whether it’s a special holiday favor, some cookies you baked in advance, or even leftover food or drinks. This can help them feel like they were a part of the party and that they participated in a truly special occasion. Though it’s not necessary to make a party favor, just giving the guests something small to remember the party by can make them feel like the night was even more of a success.
Having your guests leave with extra food or drinks will also keep your home from being full of too much stuff you won’t use.
3-5. Thank your guests for coming.
It’s important to let your guests know how much it meant to you that they came to your party as they get ready to leave. Thank them for taking the time to hang out, for bringing anything that they brought, and for just being awesome, fun guests at your party. This will make them feel like you really care and will complete your duties as an excellent hostess.
You can also mention the next time you’ll hang out with your guests, so you will have more parties to look forward to on the horizon—though you won’t have to always be the one hosting!
Tips
Show them where the bathroom is!
Always ask you guests if they need something. It's better to over-ask than under-ask.
Warnings
If there is alcohol being served, make sure there are designated drivers to ensure everyone has a safe ride home. Don't sway these designated drivers into drinking either.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Your Preparations\\n1-1. Have plenty of food and drinks for everyone.\\nIf you’re hosting a party for adults, then the #1 rule is that you absolutely can’t run out of drinks. Of course, you can always have a sober guest make a trip to the liquor store, but if you really want to have a successful party, then you should make sure there is more than enough food and drinks for everyone. Make sure to have different types of alcohol and many snacking options so that there is something for each one of your guests.\\nIf you’re planning on serving dinner at your party, make this clear so your guests come with their appetites in tow. If you’re just planning on having snacks, then you should make this clear, too, so your guests know that they should eat in advance.\\nIt’s important to have enough to drink because your guests will be more likely to leave and see that things are winding down if you run out of alcohol. Always get at least 25% drinks than you think you’ll reasonably need; you can always have the rest later or send guests home with a bottle of wine.\\nTry to have a more food than you think everyone will eat. Have a few extra less perishable items, such as chips, so you can save them if the guests don’t get to them.\\n1-2. Create a warm and welcoming space.\\nAs you clean your home and prepare for your party, you should make sure the environment is set up so that your guests can comfortably mingle, hang out, and feel relaxed. This means having plenty of seating space, coasters for people to place their drinks down on, and trying to arrange the furniture so the room is as open as possible so people don’t segregate themselves into little clusters.\\nYou should also create enough warm, soft lighting so that the guests can see each other and not feel sleepy, but you don’t need too many glaring bright lights or your guests may not feel so comfortable.\\nMake sure you set your room to a reasonable temperature and that you ask your guests whether they are hot or cold throughout the night.\\nIf it’s fall, the holiday time, or another festive time, then you can leave little festive touches around your home for your guests.\\n1-3. Leave out a few conversational pieces.\\nIf you’d like to play it safe, you can leave a few conversational pieces out around your home so your guests have something to talk about if the conversation gets stale. You can leave out a collection of your musical albums, a photo album, or some souvenirs you got on a recent trip. Just a few eye-catching objects will give your guests something to ask you about or to talk about.\\nCreating a unique appetizer or making a mixed drink your guests have never had before will also give them something to talk about.\\n1-4. Make sure your guests will get along for the most part.\\nThough you can’t ensure that everyone will get along, if you want to host a successful party, then you should try to invite guests who have similar temperaments or who share at least some of the same interests. Though it’s great to have completely different people together in the same room and to have them mingle and have fascinating conversations, you should make sure not to have too many “problem” people together in the same room or you may have some trouble on your hands.\\nPlus, knowing that your guests will generally get along will make you feel less stressed out when the time of the party comes.\\n1-5. Give your guests all of the information they need in advance.\\nIf you want to be a successful hostess, then you should tell your guests when the party is, where the party is, and what they need to or don’t need to bring. You don’t want them showing up empty-handed to a potluck or bringing a ton of beer when you already have two mini-kegs. Let them know all of the particulars of your party at least a week in advance.\\nIf they don’t already have your phone number, make sure you give it to them so they can call you if they have questions or if they get lost.\\nIf you’re throwing a theme party or want the party to be elegant, make sure the guests have at least a week or two to prepare a suitable outfit.\\n1-6. Start preparing well in advance.\\nYou should start preparing your drinks and snacks at least an hour earlier than you think it’ll take for you to get everything done. Though you don’t want to leave that guacamole out an extra hour or two, you should prepare as many of the foods and drinks as you can well in advance so your guests don’t arrive when you’ve only started baking that pumpkin pie. Being ready when those first guests arrive can help you feel more in the zone when it comes to hosting a good party.\\nThat said, you can leave some easy tasks until last minute in the kitchen. These can be great for guests who are more shy who want to help you out.\\nIf you’re hosting a big party, don’t be ashamed to ask a friend for help. It can be more fun to get your home party-ready with a buddy.\\n2. Hosting a Successful Party\\n2-1. Welcome your guests.\\nYou should be as warm and welcoming as possible when your guests arrive. Smile at them, give them big hugs, ask how they are, and make them feel like you’re really excited and happy that they’re there. You should also tell them where to put their shoes, or tell them that it’s okay for them to leave them on, hang up their coats or tell them where the coat room is, and take any foods or drinks they’ve brought off their hands.\\nMake each guest feel comfortable and welcome as soon as they walk through the door.\\n2-2. Orient them.\\nIf a lot of the guests at the party haven’t been to your home before, you should quickly let them know where the kitchen, bathroom, outdoor patio, and anything else they may be looking for are. This helps them feel at home and won’t lead them to ask too many questions later. If multiple guests show up at once, just make sure you tell all of them where everything is as soon as you can.\\n2-3. Offer your guests food and drinks.\\nAs soon as you’ve welcomed your guests and oriented them, you should make sure they have some food to eat or a drink in their hands. If you’re having an alcohol-friendly party, then making sure everyone has a drink can help people feel comfortable and can get that party started as quickly as possible. People may be shy about asking for food or a drink so make sure you offer them what they need as soon as you can.\\nOpen beers for people if they want beers, pour them wine if that’s what they want, or tell them about the liquor you have if that’s what they have a hankering for. Of course, if you don’t want things to get too rowdy early on, you can do away with the hard stuff or bring it out later in the evening.\\nYou should also check in advance to make sure your guests don’t have any allergies, and let your guests know which foods are peanut-free, gluten-free, vegetarian, and so on.\\nMake sure to also have soda, juice, and other non-alcoholic drinks so non-drinkers don’t feel left out.\\n2-4. Introduce your guests to each other.\\nAnother important duty you have as a hostess is to make sure all of your guests meet each other and that they have something to talk about. If it’s a bigger party and not everyone knows each other, you should introduce your guests to each other and quickly explain their connection to you, while also bringing up something they might have in common.\\nYou can say something like, “Sue, this is Joey, a childhood friend of mine. Joey, this is Sue. She works at the school with me.”\\nYou can also add something about common ground they may share. Say something like, “Isn’t it funny, you’re both from Alaska!” or “You two must be the most loyal Lakers fans I’ve ever met.”\\nYou should also look around for guests who seem lonely or like they’re not really talking much. Introduce them to people you think they might like.\\n2-5. Circulate.\\nIn order to keep your party environment fun and friendly, you have to make sure to circulate and mingle with all of your guests. You don’t want some of your guests to feel neglected in favor of other guests, and you need to see how all of your guests are and what they’ve been up to so they feel wanted and welcome at your party. Make sure to mingle at least every 10-15 minutes, to bring new people into the conversation, or to leave to get a guest another drink or some more food when he needs it.\\nYou should try to have fun at your own party while also being attentive to the needs of your guests.\\nIf you feel like conversations are growing stale, you should try to bring a different group of people together or open up your conversation to a larger group.\\n2-6. Provide some entertainment, but don’t force it.\\nYou should have some entertainment around just in case your guests grow weary or just because you want to spice things up. Just remember that some people just come to parties to hang out and that you don’t want your guests to feel like you’re forcing them to play games or do activities they don’t want to do. Still, it’s good to be prepared with some entertainment, just in case. Here are some things you can try:\\nBoard games, such as Clue or Life\\nOther games, such as Twister\\nVideo games\\nA fun outdoor activity to play in your yard, such as cornhole, horseshoe, or bocce\\n2-7. Don’t leave your guests alone for too long.\\nThough you may need to go to the kitchen to grab more drinks or prepare more food, or you may have something else to tend to, as a rule, you shouldn’t leave your guests for more than a few minutes at a time. Remember that you’re the center of the party and that your guests are depending on you to have a good time and to feel welcome and comfortable. It’s especially important to be there if a lot of your guests don’t know each other and need you to help people socialize.\\nIt’s okay to ask a close friend to help you out with something party-related, such as making more mixed drinks or cleaning up a mess, that will help you minimize time spent away from your guests.\\n3. Wrapping Up\\n3-1. Don’t clean up while your guests are still there.\\nIf you want to be a good hostess, then you should avoid cleaning up while the guests are there at all costs. Though you can clean up spills or a few messes as they occur, if you’re in the kitchen washing glasses and food bowls out in the middle of the party, then your guests will see this as a sign that they are welcome to leave. Though you may hate to see a mess, remember that having a fun party is more important than having everything clean by the time the last guest leaves.\\nEven if there are only a few guests left, cleaning up sends the message that you want them to leave. If you really are ready for the party to end, it’s better to be honest about it than hoping they get the message.\\nYou can also arrange to have a friend or two stay late to help you clean up in advance. This will keep you from worrying about having a huge mess on your hands at the end of the party.\\n3-2. Stay calm if someone makes a mess.\\nIf someone spills wine on your carpet, tips over that bowl of nachos, or accidentally knocks over a painting, try not to act too upset or to make your guests feel bad about what happened. After all, you’re the one who decided to throw a party, and big messes come with the territory. If you get visibly upset or stressed out, then your guest will feel terrible and people will think you’re too uptight to throw a fun party.\\nJust say something like, “Don’t worry about it at all. This kind of thing always happens at parties, and it’s no big deal.”\\nIf you want to avoid damaging anything that really means a lot to you, then you can move out meaningful keepsakes, vases, or souvenirs before the party starts.\\n3-3. Make your guests feel welcome until the end of the night.\\nYou should be warm and welcoming toward your guests for the duration of the party. If you’ve mentioned an end time and that time has not come yet, then you’ll have to do your best to continue being a good hostess and making other people welcome in your home. You don’t want guests to suddenly feel like they’re being a burden to you or that you just want them to go home already.\\nRemember that you’re the one who decided to throw a fun party, and that now you have to follow through.\\n3-4. Consider leaving your guests with parting gifts.\\nAs your party wraps up, you can give your guests something to leave with, whether it’s a special holiday favor, some cookies you baked in advance, or even leftover food or drinks. This can help them feel like they were a part of the party and that they participated in a truly special occasion. Though it’s not necessary to make a party favor, just giving the guests something small to remember the party by can make them feel like the night was even more of a success.\\nHaving your guests leave with extra food or drinks will also keep your home from being full of too much stuff you won’t use.\\n3-5. Thank your guests for coming.\\nIt’s important to let your guests know how much it meant to you that they came to your party as they get ready to leave. Thank them for taking the time to hang out, for bringing anything that they brought, and for just being awesome, fun guests at your party. This will make them feel like you really care and will complete your duties as an excellent hostess.\\nYou can also mention the next time you’ll hang out with your guests, so you will have more parties to look forward to on the horizon—though you won’t have to always be the one hosting!\\nTips\\nShow them where the bathroom is!\\nAlways ask you guests if they need something. It's better to over-ask than under-ask.\\nWarnings\\nIf there is alcohol being served, make sure there are designated drivers to ensure everyone has a safe ride home. Don't sway these designated drivers into drinking either.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In order to be a good hostess, you have to be warm and welcoming and to make your guests feel right at home. This means introducing them to each other, offering them food and drinks, and generally creating an environment for fun and merriment. As long as you prepare in advance and can have fun while also keeping an eye on the party, you'll be a stellar hostess when you throw your next shindig. \\n\\nIf you're looking for information on how to be a hostess in a restaurant, then click here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Your Preparations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have plenty of food and drinks for everyone.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re hosting a party for adults, then the #1 rule is that you absolutely can’t run out of drinks. Of course, you can always have a sober guest make a trip to the liquor store, but if you really want to have a successful party, then you should make sure there is more than enough food and drinks for everyone. Make sure to have different types of alcohol and many snacking options so that there is something for each one of your guests.\\nIf you’re planning on serving dinner at your party, make this clear so your guests come with their appetites in tow. If you’re just planning on having snacks, then you should make this clear, too, so your guests know that they should eat in advance.\\nIt’s important to have enough to drink because your guests will be more likely to leave and see that things are winding down if you run out of alcohol. Always get at least 25% drinks than you think you’ll reasonably need; you can always have the rest later or send guests home with a bottle of wine.\\nTry to have a more food than you think everyone will eat. Have a few extra less perishable items, such as chips, so you can save them if the guests don’t get to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a warm and welcoming space.\", \"描述\": \"As you clean your home and prepare for your party, you should make sure the environment is set up so that your guests can comfortably mingle, hang out, and feel relaxed. This means having plenty of seating space, coasters for people to place their drinks down on, and trying to arrange the furniture so the room is as open as possible so people don’t segregate themselves into little clusters.\\nYou should also create enough warm, soft lighting so that the guests can see each other and not feel sleepy, but you don’t need too many glaring bright lights or your guests may not feel so comfortable.\\nMake sure you set your room to a reasonable temperature and that you ask your guests whether they are hot or cold throughout the night.\\nIf it’s fall, the holiday time, or another festive time, then you can leave little festive touches around your home for your guests.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Leave out a few conversational pieces.\", \"描述\": \"If you’d like to play it safe, you can leave a few conversational pieces out around your home so your guests have something to talk about if the conversation gets stale. You can leave out a collection of your musical albums, a photo album, or some souvenirs you got on a recent trip. Just a few eye-catching objects will give your guests something to ask you about or to talk about.\\nCreating a unique appetizer or making a mixed drink your guests have never had before will also give them something to talk about.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure your guests will get along for the most part.\", \"描述\": \"Though you can’t ensure that everyone will get along, if you want to host a successful party, then you should try to invite guests who have similar temperaments or who share at least some of the same interests. Though it’s great to have completely different people together in the same room and to have them mingle and have fascinating conversations, you should make sure not to have too many “problem” people together in the same room or you may have some trouble on your hands.\\nPlus, knowing that your guests will generally get along will make you feel less stressed out when the time of the party comes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give your guests all of the information they need in advance.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a successful hostess, then you should tell your guests when the party is, where the party is, and what they need to or don’t need to bring. You don’t want them showing up empty-handed to a potluck or bringing a ton of beer when you already have two mini-kegs. Let them know all of the particulars of your party at least a week in advance.\\nIf they don’t already have your phone number, make sure you give it to them so they can call you if they have questions or if they get lost.\\nIf you’re throwing a theme party or want the party to be elegant, make sure the guests have at least a week or two to prepare a suitable outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Start preparing well in advance.\", \"描述\": \"You should start preparing your drinks and snacks at least an hour earlier than you think it’ll take for you to get everything done. Though you don’t want to leave that guacamole out an extra hour or two, you should prepare as many of the foods and drinks as you can well in advance so your guests don’t arrive when you’ve only started baking that pumpkin pie. Being ready when those first guests arrive can help you feel more in the zone when it comes to hosting a good party.\\nThat said, you can leave some easy tasks until last minute in the kitchen. These can be great for guests who are more shy who want to help you out.\\nIf you’re hosting a big party, don’t be ashamed to ask a friend for help. It can be more fun to get your home party-ready with a buddy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hosting a Successful Party\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Welcome your guests.\", \"描述\": \"You should be as warm and welcoming as possible when your guests arrive. Smile at them, give them big hugs, ask how they are, and make them feel like you’re really excited and happy that they’re there. You should also tell them where to put their shoes, or tell them that it’s okay for them to leave them on, hang up their coats or tell them where the coat room is, and take any foods or drinks they’ve brought off their hands.\\nMake each guest feel comfortable and welcome as soon as they walk through the door.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Orient them.\", \"描述\": \"If a lot of the guests at the party haven’t been to your home before, you should quickly let them know where the kitchen, bathroom, outdoor patio, and anything else they may be looking for are. This helps them feel at home and won’t lead them to ask too many questions later. If multiple guests show up at once, just make sure you tell all of them where everything is as soon as you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Offer your guests food and drinks.\", \"描述\": \"As soon as you’ve welcomed your guests and oriented them, you should make sure they have some food to eat or a drink in their hands. If you’re having an alcohol-friendly party, then making sure everyone has a drink can help people feel comfortable and can get that party started as quickly as possible. People may be shy about asking for food or a drink so make sure you offer them what they need as soon as you can.\\nOpen beers for people if they want beers, pour them wine if that’s what they want, or tell them about the liquor you have if that’s what they have a hankering for. Of course, if you don’t want things to get too rowdy early on, you can do away with the hard stuff or bring it out later in the evening.\\nYou should also check in advance to make sure your guests don’t have any allergies, and let your guests know which foods are peanut-free, gluten-free, vegetarian, and so on.\\nMake sure to also have soda, juice, and other non-alcoholic drinks so non-drinkers don’t feel left out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Introduce your guests to each other.\", \"描述\": \"Another important duty you have as a hostess is to make sure all of your guests meet each other and that they have something to talk about. If it’s a bigger party and not everyone knows each other, you should introduce your guests to each other and quickly explain their connection to you, while also bringing up something they might have in common.\\nYou can say something like, “Sue, this is Joey, a childhood friend of mine. Joey, this is Sue. She works at the school with me.”\\nYou can also add something about common ground they may share. Say something like, “Isn’t it funny, you’re both from Alaska!” or “You two must be the most loyal Lakers fans I’ve ever met.”\\nYou should also look around for guests who seem lonely or like they’re not really talking much. Introduce them to people you think they might like.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Circulate.\", \"描述\": \"In order to keep your party environment fun and friendly, you have to make sure to circulate and mingle with all of your guests. You don’t want some of your guests to feel neglected in favor of other guests, and you need to see how all of your guests are and what they’ve been up to so they feel wanted and welcome at your party. Make sure to mingle at least every 10-15 minutes, to bring new people into the conversation, or to leave to get a guest another drink or some more food when he needs it.\\nYou should try to have fun at your own party while also being attentive to the needs of your guests.\\nIf you feel like conversations are growing stale, you should try to bring a different group of people together or open up your conversation to a larger group.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Provide some entertainment, but don’t force it.\", \"描述\": \"You should have some entertainment around just in case your guests grow weary or just because you want to spice things up. Just remember that some people just come to parties to hang out and that you don’t want your guests to feel like you’re forcing them to play games or do activities they don’t want to do. Still, it’s good to be prepared with some entertainment, just in case. Here are some things you can try:\\nBoard games, such as Clue or Life\\nOther games, such as Twister\\nVideo games\\nA fun outdoor activity to play in your yard, such as cornhole, horseshoe, or bocce\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t leave your guests alone for too long.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may need to go to the kitchen to grab more drinks or prepare more food, or you may have something else to tend to, as a rule, you shouldn’t leave your guests for more than a few minutes at a time. Remember that you’re the center of the party and that your guests are depending on you to have a good time and to feel welcome and comfortable. It’s especially important to be there if a lot of your guests don’t know each other and need you to help people socialize.\\nIt’s okay to ask a close friend to help you out with something party-related, such as making more mixed drinks or cleaning up a mess, that will help you minimize time spent away from your guests.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wrapping Up\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t clean up while your guests are still there.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good hostess, then you should avoid cleaning up while the guests are there at all costs. Though you can clean up spills or a few messes as they occur, if you’re in the kitchen washing glasses and food bowls out in the middle of the party, then your guests will see this as a sign that they are welcome to leave. Though you may hate to see a mess, remember that having a fun party is more important than having everything clean by the time the last guest leaves.\\nEven if there are only a few guests left, cleaning up sends the message that you want them to leave. If you really are ready for the party to end, it’s better to be honest about it than hoping they get the message.\\nYou can also arrange to have a friend or two stay late to help you clean up in advance. This will keep you from worrying about having a huge mess on your hands at the end of the party.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay calm if someone makes a mess.\", \"描述\": \"If someone spills wine on your carpet, tips over that bowl of nachos, or accidentally knocks over a painting, try not to act too upset or to make your guests feel bad about what happened. After all, you’re the one who decided to throw a party, and big messes come with the territory. If you get visibly upset or stressed out, then your guest will feel terrible and people will think you’re too uptight to throw a fun party.\\nJust say something like, “Don’t worry about it at all. This kind of thing always happens at parties, and it’s no big deal.”\\nIf you want to avoid damaging anything that really means a lot to you, then you can move out meaningful keepsakes, vases, or souvenirs before the party starts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make your guests feel welcome until the end of the night.\", \"描述\": \"You should be warm and welcoming toward your guests for the duration of the party. If you’ve mentioned an end time and that time has not come yet, then you’ll have to do your best to continue being a good hostess and making other people welcome in your home. You don’t want guests to suddenly feel like they’re being a burden to you or that you just want them to go home already.\\nRemember that you’re the one who decided to throw a fun party, and that now you have to follow through.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider leaving your guests with parting gifts.\", \"描述\": \"As your party wraps up, you can give your guests something to leave with, whether it’s a special holiday favor, some cookies you baked in advance, or even leftover food or drinks. This can help them feel like they were a part of the party and that they participated in a truly special occasion. Though it’s not necessary to make a party favor, just giving the guests something small to remember the party by can make them feel like the night was even more of a success.\\nHaving your guests leave with extra food or drinks will also keep your home from being full of too much stuff you won’t use.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Thank your guests for coming.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to let your guests know how much it meant to you that they came to your party as they get ready to leave. Thank them for taking the time to hang out, for bringing anything that they brought, and for just being awesome, fun guests at your party. This will make them feel like you really care and will complete your duties as an excellent hostess.\\nYou can also mention the next time you’ll hang out with your guests, so you will have more parties to look forward to on the horizon—though you won’t have to always be the one hosting!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Show them where the bathroom is!\\n\", \"Always ask you guests if they need something. It's better to over-ask than under-ask.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If there is alcohol being served, make sure there are designated drivers to ensure everyone has a safe ride home. Don't sway these designated drivers into drinking either.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,464 |
How to Be a Good House Guest
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1. Communicating with Your Host
1-1. Be specific with the dates of arrival and departure.
Don't keep your visit open-ended. Also, don't book an airline reservation before you first discuss it with your host. If your host has agreed to certain dates, don't try to add on to those dates without discussing it, and respect that your host may have to discuss your stay with their spouse or housemate.
Avoid overstaying your visit. Even though you have been graciously invited into their home, your hosts may have rearranged their normal routines on your behalf. Their hospitality also requires their investment of time, energy, and money.
If you are staying for a period longer than three days, consider putting the arrangement on a business footing, or finding ways to leave and stay elsewhere for a few days to give your hosts some private time.
1-2. Be respectful of the host's time.
Don't show up earlier than the time you had agreed upon. Your host may not be ready for you and an early arrival could inconvenience them considerably. If, for some unforeseen reason, you caught an earlier connection or you had an extra day's vacation and want to arrive earlier, call them first.
Avoid showing up later than you promised. This may upset many hosts who worry about what might have happened to you. If you are delayed for any reason, call them and explain.
1-3. Communicate clearly about comings and goings.
If you will not be with your hosts all the time, discuss your plans beforehand to make sure that you will not inadvertently inconvenience them. Don't leave their home, even for a short outing, without telling them. Your host should not have to guess whether you went out or not.
Be quiet when arriving back late, and, if given a key, use it. Turn out the lights and check to make sure that the door is locked behind you.
2. Showing Your Host Respect
2-1. Be flexible with your time.
The living space designed to accommodate you on a short-term, temporary basis is the full-time home of your host. Make a conscious effort to adapt to their preferences and patterns. To be clear, ask about their expectations of you during your stay.
Ask if you are expected to share meals with them or at which time they would prefer you to turn out the lights. It is especially important to accept that others have to live in the house, too.
2-2. Share the household bathroom respectfully.
If the house only has one bathroom, ask when it is convenient for you to use it. Consideration is also expected if you are sleeping in a living area near the only bathroom; remember, others may need to use it after you go to bed.
Remember to flush the toilet and put the lid down. Don't leave a dripping faucet, and turn off the light when you're finished.
Don't rummage around in their cupboards looking for a toothbrush or other essentials; instead, ask your host if they have any spares.
2-3. Ask before helping yourself to food.
Avoid taking the last of anything, especially the last of leftovers that are not easily reproduced, or expensive items. If you must eat your host's food while they are unavailable, a good idea is to pick up some more to replace what you ate.
2-4. Respect cultural and familial differences.
For example, you may be an omnivore staying with a vegan family, but it is polite to at least try what they serve you. Do not criticize your hosts' preferences. If eating a certain kind of food is a violation of your cultural or religious beliefs, let your hosts know before you arrive.
Adapt to your host's lifestyle. There may be children, pets, elderly parents, or others in the home with whom you may be unaccustomed to living with. Go with the flow and try to learn something from the experience.
3. Staying Self-Reliant
3-1. Offer to make contributions.
Even if you're not eating at your host's home, offer to purchase the groceries. Remember that your hosts have probably already been shopping for extra groceries and spent a considerable amount of time and money to get ready for your visit. You could either bankroll their next supermarket trip or offer to go out and buy things for both yourself and for them (ask them for a list).
3-2. Do your own laundry.
Don't be embarrassed about asking whether or not it is okay to do your laundry at your host's place. They understand that after a few days you'll have dirty underwear.
Ask your host when the most convenient time for you to do your laundry would be, emphasizing that you don't want to cut into the household's normal routine.
3-3. Offer to help at mealtimes.
This doesn't mean crowding the host out of the kitchen, but instead it means collecting plates, carrying out dishes, offering to wash up or stack the dishwasher, cleaning off the counters, and taking the garbage out. You could even offer to cook a meal or two yourself.
4. Showing Gratitude
4-1. Bring a gift to show gratitude.
Offering something as a way of thanking your hosts in advance is a thoughtful and caring gesture. It demonstrates your appreciation of their important efforts to make your stay a good one. Considerate, inexpensive gifts include a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, a basket of fruit, or a bouquet of flowers.
4-2. Be appreciative.
Express that you are pleased with the local food, sightseeing, and other attractions. If your hosts have provided you with a home-cooked meal, show your appreciation through compliments and by offering to take care of the next meal.
4-3. Thank your hosts for the stay.
Help them clean up anything that you may have moved during your visit. Also don't rush out of the house when you are leaving, since the hosts might assume that you did not appreciate your stay.
Leave a thank-you note on your departure. It is polite to leave a small token to show that you are grateful for their hospitality. A handwritten card makes a thoughtful token of appreciation.
Tips
With certain differences between your lifestyle and your hosts', you may feel like you're treading on tiptoes, but remember to compromise and be open, honest, and considerate.
Pay attention to the security instructions in your host's home; be sure that you lock up properly. Take good care of any keys that they loan you. Offer to replace what you have used.
If you have special dietary needs, bring your own food. Offer to take care of your own dietary needs and be clear about what this means by way of food preparation.
Warnings
Do not bring a pet, even an outside pet, without asking. If your host seems hesitant when you ask about bringing your pet, don't bring it. If you are permitted to bring your pet, clean up after it regularly.
If don't know your way around the town, ask for your host to accompany you on your outings, so that you don't get lost.
Replace anything that you damage. Even if it was an accident, you are responsible and should make it right for your host by fixing the item, replacing the item or leaving a monetary settlement. Doing so shows that you respect another's possessions. Not addressing it can leave long memories of the issue, and it will certainly get around in family or friendship circles.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating with Your Host\\n1-1. Be specific with the dates of arrival and departure.\\nDon't keep your visit open-ended. Also, don't book an airline reservation before you first discuss it with your host. If your host has agreed to certain dates, don't try to add on to those dates without discussing it, and respect that your host may have to discuss your stay with their spouse or housemate.\\nAvoid overstaying your visit. Even though you have been graciously invited into their home, your hosts may have rearranged their normal routines on your behalf. Their hospitality also requires their investment of time, energy, and money.\\nIf you are staying for a period longer than three days, consider putting the arrangement on a business footing, or finding ways to leave and stay elsewhere for a few days to give your hosts some private time.\\n1-2. Be respectful of the host's time.\\nDon't show up earlier than the time you had agreed upon. Your host may not be ready for you and an early arrival could inconvenience them considerably. If, for some unforeseen reason, you caught an earlier connection or you had an extra day's vacation and want to arrive earlier, call them first.\\nAvoid showing up later than you promised. This may upset many hosts who worry about what might have happened to you. If you are delayed for any reason, call them and explain.\\n1-3. Communicate clearly about comings and goings.\\nIf you will not be with your hosts all the time, discuss your plans beforehand to make sure that you will not inadvertently inconvenience them. Don't leave their home, even for a short outing, without telling them. Your host should not have to guess whether you went out or not.\\nBe quiet when arriving back late, and, if given a key, use it. Turn out the lights and check to make sure that the door is locked behind you.\\n2. Showing Your Host Respect\\n2-1. Be flexible with your time.\\nThe living space designed to accommodate you on a short-term, temporary basis is the full-time home of your host. Make a conscious effort to adapt to their preferences and patterns. To be clear, ask about their expectations of you during your stay.\\nAsk if you are expected to share meals with them or at which time they would prefer you to turn out the lights. It is especially important to accept that others have to live in the house, too.\\n2-2. Share the household bathroom respectfully.\\nIf the house only has one bathroom, ask when it is convenient for you to use it. Consideration is also expected if you are sleeping in a living area near the only bathroom; remember, others may need to use it after you go to bed.\\nRemember to flush the toilet and put the lid down. Don't leave a dripping faucet, and turn off the light when you're finished.\\nDon't rummage around in their cupboards looking for a toothbrush or other essentials; instead, ask your host if they have any spares.\\n2-3. Ask before helping yourself to food.\\nAvoid taking the last of anything, especially the last of leftovers that are not easily reproduced, or expensive items. If you must eat your host's food while they are unavailable, a good idea is to pick up some more to replace what you ate.\\n2-4. Respect cultural and familial differences.\\nFor example, you may be an omnivore staying with a vegan family, but it is polite to at least try what they serve you. Do not criticize your hosts' preferences. If eating a certain kind of food is a violation of your cultural or religious beliefs, let your hosts know before you arrive.\\nAdapt to your host's lifestyle. There may be children, pets, elderly parents, or others in the home with whom you may be unaccustomed to living with. Go with the flow and try to learn something from the experience.\\n3. Staying Self-Reliant\\n3-1. Offer to make contributions.\\nEven if you're not eating at your host's home, offer to purchase the groceries. Remember that your hosts have probably already been shopping for extra groceries and spent a considerable amount of time and money to get ready for your visit. You could either bankroll their next supermarket trip or offer to go out and buy things for both yourself and for them (ask them for a list).\\n3-2. Do your own laundry.\\nDon't be embarrassed about asking whether or not it is okay to do your laundry at your host's place. They understand that after a few days you'll have dirty underwear.\\nAsk your host when the most convenient time for you to do your laundry would be, emphasizing that you don't want to cut into the household's normal routine.\\n3-3. Offer to help at mealtimes.\\nThis doesn't mean crowding the host out of the kitchen, but instead it means collecting plates, carrying out dishes, offering to wash up or stack the dishwasher, cleaning off the counters, and taking the garbage out. You could even offer to cook a meal or two yourself.\\n4. Showing Gratitude\\n4-1. Bring a gift to show gratitude.\\nOffering something as a way of thanking your hosts in advance is a thoughtful and caring gesture. It demonstrates your appreciation of their important efforts to make your stay a good one. Considerate, inexpensive gifts include a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, a basket of fruit, or a bouquet of flowers.\\n4-2. Be appreciative.\\nExpress that you are pleased with the local food, sightseeing, and other attractions. If your hosts have provided you with a home-cooked meal, show your appreciation through compliments and by offering to take care of the next meal.\\n4-3. Thank your hosts for the stay.\\nHelp them clean up anything that you may have moved during your visit. Also don't rush out of the house when you are leaving, since the hosts might assume that you did not appreciate your stay.\\nLeave a thank-you note on your departure. It is polite to leave a small token to show that you are grateful for their hospitality. A handwritten card makes a thoughtful token of appreciation.\\nTips\\nWith certain differences between your lifestyle and your hosts', you may feel like you're treading on tiptoes, but remember to compromise and be open, honest, and considerate.\\nPay attention to the security instructions in your host's home; be sure that you lock up properly. Take good care of any keys that they loan you. Offer to replace what you have used.\\nIf you have special dietary needs, bring your own food. Offer to take care of your own dietary needs and be clear about what this means by way of food preparation.\\nWarnings\\nDo not bring a pet, even an outside pet, without asking. If your host seems hesitant when you ask about bringing your pet, don't bring it. If you are permitted to bring your pet, clean up after it regularly.\\nIf don't know your way around the town, ask for your host to accompany you on your outings, so that you don't get lost.\\nReplace anything that you damage. Even if it was an accident, you are responsible and should make it right for your host by fixing the item, replacing the item or leaving a monetary settlement. Doing so shows that you respect another's possessions. Not addressing it can leave long memories of the issue, and it will certainly get around in family or friendship circles.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When visiting someone's home, whether they're a close family member, a friend, or a colleague, it is important to be a gracious guest. Your manners could make all the difference between a pleasant stay or a disastrous one. Be polite in order to ensure that your stay is enjoyable both for yourself and your hosts.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating with Your Host\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be specific with the dates of arrival and departure.\", \"描述\": \"Don't keep your visit open-ended. Also, don't book an airline reservation before you first discuss it with your host. If your host has agreed to certain dates, don't try to add on to those dates without discussing it, and respect that your host may have to discuss your stay with their spouse or housemate.\\nAvoid overstaying your visit. Even though you have been graciously invited into their home, your hosts may have rearranged their normal routines on your behalf. Their hospitality also requires their investment of time, energy, and money.\\nIf you are staying for a period longer than three days, consider putting the arrangement on a business footing, or finding ways to leave and stay elsewhere for a few days to give your hosts some private time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be respectful of the host's time.\", \"描述\": \"Don't show up earlier than the time you had agreed upon. Your host may not be ready for you and an early arrival could inconvenience them considerably. If, for some unforeseen reason, you caught an earlier connection or you had an extra day's vacation and want to arrive earlier, call them first.\\nAvoid showing up later than you promised. This may upset many hosts who worry about what might have happened to you. If you are delayed for any reason, call them and explain.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicate clearly about comings and goings.\", \"描述\": \"If you will not be with your hosts all the time, discuss your plans beforehand to make sure that you will not inadvertently inconvenience them. Don't leave their home, even for a short outing, without telling them. Your host should not have to guess whether you went out or not.\\nBe quiet when arriving back late, and, if given a key, use it. Turn out the lights and check to make sure that the door is locked behind you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Your Host Respect\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be flexible with your time.\", \"描述\": \"The living space designed to accommodate you on a short-term, temporary basis is the full-time home of your host. Make a conscious effort to adapt to their preferences and patterns. To be clear, ask about their expectations of you during your stay.\\nAsk if you are expected to share meals with them or at which time they would prefer you to turn out the lights. It is especially important to accept that others have to live in the house, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Share the household bathroom respectfully.\", \"描述\": \"If the house only has one bathroom, ask when it is convenient for you to use it. Consideration is also expected if you are sleeping in a living area near the only bathroom; remember, others may need to use it after you go to bed.\\nRemember to flush the toilet and put the lid down. Don't leave a dripping faucet, and turn off the light when you're finished.\\nDon't rummage around in their cupboards looking for a toothbrush or other essentials; instead, ask your host if they have any spares.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask before helping yourself to food.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid taking the last of anything, especially the last of leftovers that are not easily reproduced, or expensive items. If you must eat your host's food while they are unavailable, a good idea is to pick up some more to replace what you ate.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respect cultural and familial differences.\", \"描述\": \"For example, you may be an omnivore staying with a vegan family, but it is polite to at least try what they serve you. Do not criticize your hosts' preferences. If eating a certain kind of food is a violation of your cultural or religious beliefs, let your hosts know before you arrive.\\nAdapt to your host's lifestyle. There may be children, pets, elderly parents, or others in the home with whom you may be unaccustomed to living with. Go with the flow and try to learn something from the experience.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying Self-Reliant\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer to make contributions.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're not eating at your host's home, offer to purchase the groceries. Remember that your hosts have probably already been shopping for extra groceries and spent a considerable amount of time and money to get ready for your visit. You could either bankroll their next supermarket trip or offer to go out and buy things for both yourself and for them (ask them for a list).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do your own laundry.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be embarrassed about asking whether or not it is okay to do your laundry at your host's place. They understand that after a few days you'll have dirty underwear.\\nAsk your host when the most convenient time for you to do your laundry would be, emphasizing that you don't want to cut into the household's normal routine.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Offer to help at mealtimes.\", \"描述\": \"This doesn't mean crowding the host out of the kitchen, but instead it means collecting plates, carrying out dishes, offering to wash up or stack the dishwasher, cleaning off the counters, and taking the garbage out. You could even offer to cook a meal or two yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Showing Gratitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring a gift to show gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"Offering something as a way of thanking your hosts in advance is a thoughtful and caring gesture. It demonstrates your appreciation of their important efforts to make your stay a good one. Considerate, inexpensive gifts include a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, a basket of fruit, or a bouquet of flowers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be appreciative.\", \"描述\": \"Express that you are pleased with the local food, sightseeing, and other attractions. If your hosts have provided you with a home-cooked meal, show your appreciation through compliments and by offering to take care of the next meal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Thank your hosts for the stay.\", \"描述\": \"Help them clean up anything that you may have moved during your visit. Also don't rush out of the house when you are leaving, since the hosts might assume that you did not appreciate your stay.\\nLeave a thank-you note on your departure. It is polite to leave a small token to show that you are grateful for their hospitality. A handwritten card makes a thoughtful token of appreciation.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"With certain differences between your lifestyle and your hosts', you may feel like you're treading on tiptoes, but remember to compromise and be open, honest, and considerate.\\n\", \"Pay attention to the security instructions in your host's home; be sure that you lock up properly. Take good care of any keys that they loan you. Offer to replace what you have used.\\n\", \"If you have special dietary needs, bring your own food. Offer to take care of your own dietary needs and be clear about what this means by way of food preparation.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not bring a pet, even an outside pet, without asking. If your host seems hesitant when you ask about bringing your pet, don't bring it. If you are permitted to bring your pet, clean up after it regularly.\\n\", \"If don't know your way around the town, ask for your host to accompany you on your outings, so that you don't get lost.\\n\", \"Replace anything that you damage. Even if it was an accident, you are responsible and should make it right for your host by fixing the item, replacing the item or leaving a monetary settlement. Doing so shows that you respect another's possessions. Not addressing it can leave long memories of the issue, and it will certainly get around in family or friendship circles.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
|
4,465 |
How to Be a Good House Husband
|
1. Steps
1-1. Discuss the expectations with your partner.
Discuss realistic expectations, and how to meet them as best as you can. The definition of a good house husband depends on which house you live in. It is also very culture-dependent. Do not presume that you have the same expectations because you may find out the hard way (through arguments) that you don't. Sit down and talk it over. What are the things that need to be done to keep up with in the home? What are the responsibilities in the home? If you are primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, others may take responsibility for cleaning up after themselves: putting dirty laundry in the hamper, placing things where they belong after they are finished using them, emptying the trash, putting dishes in the dishwasher, etc. If you are also caring for young children during the day, you may be surprised by how difficult it is to also keep up with household tasks. Others in your family may need to help with the cooking and cleaning, if possible.
Be aware that housekeeping is not as simple as it sounds. Men without military training may not have the basic skills to accomplish all the cleaning tasks or even know what they are. If you've never organized a house, shopped for food and household essentials, cooked or cleaned up because your mother did all these things, your results will not be as effective as any adult woman taking on these tasks. You'll take longer doing it and with less effective results. If possible, get your experienced spouse to walk you through how she does all these things.
1-2. Be loving.
Love is an important ingredient for a successful household. Remind your kids and wife or significant other that you love them, often. Pay attention to your wife or significant other and children. Like say that boy of yours is dying to go to the park for some baseball. Make an effort to spend as much time as possible. If you do this, your family will know that they are loved.
1-3. Take Responsibility for the household!
You are now the "homemaker" of your family. Being the homemaker, it is your responsibility to make it a home. Ensure the cleanliness of the home and that repairs and maintenance are completed. One of the greatest advantages to the house husband is that you can now take the time to do the needed repairs or maintenance items that would have taken time away from your family when you were away at work.
1-4. Maintain a great Appearance.
It is all too easy to stop paying attention to your appearance when you have a no reason to "dress to impress" at the office. Try to spend some time each day making yourself look good and well kept. There is no reason why you can't still maintain a good appearance, even if you have no plans of leaving the house that day. Further, your wife or significant other would love to come home to see you looking good -- not dumpy and unkempt.
1-5. DON'T Forget about the Cooking!
Remember when you would work all day, how great it was to come home to a freshly prepared meal. Now that you are a house husband you can ensure your family eats a delicious meal, prepared for them with love, every day of the week.
1-6. Plan ahead, with the aim to have a delicious meal on the table when your spouse gets home from work.
Microwave meals are not suitable cuisine, so find a recipe book you like and start experimenting. Having a great meal ready for your family is good way to let them know that you have been thinking about them. A good meal can be an expression of love and a warm welcome home.
Crock pots and other slow cooked meals may give you the chance to get other chores done while the food cooks. They tend to be very tasty.
If you want them eating healthier, treats should be something of a special occasion. Everyday snacks could be fruit, vegetables or healthy grains while a big production dessert could take place sometime on the weekend for everyone to enjoy it together.
Budgeting for food is another big part of the job. Prepackaged anything costs more, the more home cooking you do, the better the family will eat both in health and in terms of luxury. Buying non-perishables in bulk is often cheaper than small boxes or quantities.
1-7. Pay close attention to little things.
Remember family birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc. Attention to detail adds up to big attention, and you will have a happy marriage as a result.
Remember the personal treats that cheer up your loved ones individually. If you remember the kids' favorite foods and fix them regularly or surprise your spouse with flowers from the garden or a candlelit bath - these things create memories. If you do these small affectionate things more often than calendar holidays and birthdays, they create very powerful memories. They don't have to be big, just personal. Keep track of the things that cheer up your spouse and your kids individually, write them down sometimes when they're not home. When they have a really bad day, that's when to trot out the comfort food or the surprise foot rub.
1-8. Don't Forget the Errands!
Remember, there is more to keeping a family happy than what is in the immediate house. Don't forget the important errands that can add up and take a lot of time to do. By doing one or two a day you can keep up with them, and they will not get unmanageable or take up mass amounts of time on weekends or family time. Pick up the dry cleaning when it is ready, Run to the market when you know something is needed, pickup packages and other items that may need to be retrieved. Overall, just make sure that the errands and tasks are done. Your family will appreciate you for it.
If you don't like shopping that often, you can reduce the number of errands by planning ahead and doing them in groups. If you want to get in shape, bicycle for perishable shopping and only use the car when you're stocking up non-perishables or big stuff.
1-9. Organize your time!
It may not feel like a job, but there's a reason why half the human race did it full time for a living for so long. It's easy to get overwhelmed with the wide variety of different tasks that need to be done every day, especially maintenance cleaning that gets interrupted by minor problems and crises. Appliances break, the time you take fixing it or running out to replace it means you start dinner late, all of a sudden the stuff that needed to be done isn't all done and there's no food. Folks get annoyed at this especially if they take their own skills for granted and think what you do is a no-brainer. First experiment and find out how much time these tasks actually take, then budget three times that time for how long they really take when everything goes wrong. Life always happens.
Budget a small personal treat for the tasks you don't enjoy. It can be small like a pack of gum or non-monetary like taking the time to play a game. Or just put a dollar into a jar till it adds up for something big that you want. Small personal rewards make it easier to motivate yourself to do things that you're reluctant to that need to be done. Change is good for this if you need to break it down to different specific chores and a lot of them need doing. Or when you finish a chore faster than you planned and still did a good job, put a note in the "time bank" and build up to where you can spend most of a day playing a video game or whatever.
1-10. Be Happy!
Anger spreads fast. Remember when mom was furious? What a scary thought! Happiness will be effective tool on your household, and will provide peace in your home.
1-11. Show Respect.
When a child does something good, (For example: Get an A on a test in a class they were failing in, learn to ride their bike, etc...) Tell them how proud you are. Acknowledge your families contributions, no matter how small you may think they are.
Tips
Feel secure in your masculinity. People who give you a hard time about your new life are being irrational and backwards-thinking.
Remember: It's now your job to excel, just like when you were committed to a different career.
Learn to clean effectively, and thoroughly.
Warnings
Don't play video games until the chores are done. It's okay to get them done early except for things that take waiting time, just be sure to save game and get the laundry into the dryer when you're using that time for gaming.
Try to control your anger.
Don't procrastinate. It gets really bad, really fast if you let things pile up and then it takes a lot more work. Much better to get a lot done early and spend the rest of the day on the things you enjoy.
Don't assume you know how to clean unless the military taught you!
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Discuss the expectations with your partner.\\nDiscuss realistic expectations, and how to meet them as best as you can. The definition of a good house husband depends on which house you live in. It is also very culture-dependent. Do not presume that you have the same expectations because you may find out the hard way (through arguments) that you don't. Sit down and talk it over. What are the things that need to be done to keep up with in the home? What are the responsibilities in the home? If you are primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, others may take responsibility for cleaning up after themselves: putting dirty laundry in the hamper, placing things where they belong after they are finished using them, emptying the trash, putting dishes in the dishwasher, etc. If you are also caring for young children during the day, you may be surprised by how difficult it is to also keep up with household tasks. Others in your family may need to help with the cooking and cleaning, if possible.\\nBe aware that housekeeping is not as simple as it sounds. Men without military training may not have the basic skills to accomplish all the cleaning tasks or even know what they are. If you've never organized a house, shopped for food and household essentials, cooked or cleaned up because your mother did all these things, your results will not be as effective as any adult woman taking on these tasks. You'll take longer doing it and with less effective results. If possible, get your experienced spouse to walk you through how she does all these things.\\n1-2. Be loving.\\nLove is an important ingredient for a successful household. Remind your kids and wife or significant other that you love them, often. Pay attention to your wife or significant other and children. Like say that boy of yours is dying to go to the park for some baseball. Make an effort to spend as much time as possible. If you do this, your family will know that they are loved.\\n1-3. Take Responsibility for the household!\\nYou are now the \\\"homemaker\\\" of your family. Being the homemaker, it is your responsibility to make it a home. Ensure the cleanliness of the home and that repairs and maintenance are completed. One of the greatest advantages to the house husband is that you can now take the time to do the needed repairs or maintenance items that would have taken time away from your family when you were away at work.\\n1-4. Maintain a great Appearance.\\nIt is all too easy to stop paying attention to your appearance when you have a no reason to \\\"dress to impress\\\" at the office. Try to spend some time each day making yourself look good and well kept. There is no reason why you can't still maintain a good appearance, even if you have no plans of leaving the house that day. Further, your wife or significant other would love to come home to see you looking good -- not dumpy and unkempt.\\n1-5. DON'T Forget about the Cooking!\\nRemember when you would work all day, how great it was to come home to a freshly prepared meal. Now that you are a house husband you can ensure your family eats a delicious meal, prepared for them with love, every day of the week.\\n1-6. Plan ahead, with the aim to have a delicious meal on the table when your spouse gets home from work.\\nMicrowave meals are not suitable cuisine, so find a recipe book you like and start experimenting. Having a great meal ready for your family is good way to let them know that you have been thinking about them. A good meal can be an expression of love and a warm welcome home.\\nCrock pots and other slow cooked meals may give you the chance to get other chores done while the food cooks. They tend to be very tasty.\\nIf you want them eating healthier, treats should be something of a special occasion. Everyday snacks could be fruit, vegetables or healthy grains while a big production dessert could take place sometime on the weekend for everyone to enjoy it together.\\nBudgeting for food is another big part of the job. Prepackaged anything costs more, the more home cooking you do, the better the family will eat both in health and in terms of luxury. Buying non-perishables in bulk is often cheaper than small boxes or quantities.\\n1-7. Pay close attention to little things.\\nRemember family birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc. Attention to detail adds up to big attention, and you will have a happy marriage as a result.\\nRemember the personal treats that cheer up your loved ones individually. If you remember the kids' favorite foods and fix them regularly or surprise your spouse with flowers from the garden or a candlelit bath - these things create memories. If you do these small affectionate things more often than calendar holidays and birthdays, they create very powerful memories. They don't have to be big, just personal. Keep track of the things that cheer up your spouse and your kids individually, write them down sometimes when they're not home. When they have a really bad day, that's when to trot out the comfort food or the surprise foot rub.\\n1-8. Don't Forget the Errands!\\nRemember, there is more to keeping a family happy than what is in the immediate house. Don't forget the important errands that can add up and take a lot of time to do. By doing one or two a day you can keep up with them, and they will not get unmanageable or take up mass amounts of time on weekends or family time. Pick up the dry cleaning when it is ready, Run to the market when you know something is needed, pickup packages and other items that may need to be retrieved. Overall, just make sure that the errands and tasks are done. Your family will appreciate you for it.\\nIf you don't like shopping that often, you can reduce the number of errands by planning ahead and doing them in groups. If you want to get in shape, bicycle for perishable shopping and only use the car when you're stocking up non-perishables or big stuff.\\n1-9. Organize your time!\\nIt may not feel like a job, but there's a reason why half the human race did it full time for a living for so long. It's easy to get overwhelmed with the wide variety of different tasks that need to be done every day, especially maintenance cleaning that gets interrupted by minor problems and crises. Appliances break, the time you take fixing it or running out to replace it means you start dinner late, all of a sudden the stuff that needed to be done isn't all done and there's no food. Folks get annoyed at this especially if they take their own skills for granted and think what you do is a no-brainer. First experiment and find out how much time these tasks actually take, then budget three times that time for how long they really take when everything goes wrong. Life always happens.\\nBudget a small personal treat for the tasks you don't enjoy. It can be small like a pack of gum or non-monetary like taking the time to play a game. Or just put a dollar into a jar till it adds up for something big that you want. Small personal rewards make it easier to motivate yourself to do things that you're reluctant to that need to be done. Change is good for this if you need to break it down to different specific chores and a lot of them need doing. Or when you finish a chore faster than you planned and still did a good job, put a note in the \\\"time bank\\\" and build up to where you can spend most of a day playing a video game or whatever.\\n1-10. Be Happy!\\nAnger spreads fast. Remember when mom was furious? What a scary thought! Happiness will be effective tool on your household, and will provide peace in your home.\\n1-11. Show Respect.\\nWhen a child does something good, (For example: Get an A on a test in a class they were failing in, learn to ride their bike, etc...) Tell them how proud you are. Acknowledge your families contributions, no matter how small you may think they are.\\nTips\\nFeel secure in your masculinity. People who give you a hard time about your new life are being irrational and backwards-thinking.\\nRemember: It's now your job to excel, just like when you were committed to a different career.\\nLearn to clean effectively, and thoroughly.\\nWarnings\\nDon't play video games until the chores are done. It's okay to get them done early except for things that take waiting time, just be sure to save game and get the laundry into the dryer when you're using that time for gaming.\\nTry to control your anger.\\nDon't procrastinate. It gets really bad, really fast if you let things pile up and then it takes a lot more work. Much better to get a lot done early and spend the rest of the day on the things you enjoy.\\nDon't assume you know how to clean unless the military taught you!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A \\\"House Husband\\\", or stay-at-home dad (alternatively, stay at home father, house dad, SAHD, househusband, or house-spouse) is a term used to describe a father who is the main caregiver of the children and is the homemaker of the household. As families have evolved, the practice of being a stay-at-home dad has become more common. In the \\\"modern society\\\" this common practice results in the wife or significant other working and supporting the families needs, which you the house husband, take care of the children and home. In a lot of ways this arrangement can be increasingly beneficial because if you are handy you can also be assured the time to keep up to date on the necessary repairs and maintenance around the house, thus ensuring your families comfort in their home.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discuss the expectations with your partner.\", \"描述\": \"Discuss realistic expectations, and how to meet them as best as you can. The definition of a good house husband depends on which house you live in. It is also very culture-dependent. Do not presume that you have the same expectations because you may find out the hard way (through arguments) that you don't. Sit down and talk it over. What are the things that need to be done to keep up with in the home? What are the responsibilities in the home? If you are primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, others may take responsibility for cleaning up after themselves: putting dirty laundry in the hamper, placing things where they belong after they are finished using them, emptying the trash, putting dishes in the dishwasher, etc. If you are also caring for young children during the day, you may be surprised by how difficult it is to also keep up with household tasks. Others in your family may need to help with the cooking and cleaning, if possible.\\nBe aware that housekeeping is not as simple as it sounds. Men without military training may not have the basic skills to accomplish all the cleaning tasks or even know what they are. If you've never organized a house, shopped for food and household essentials, cooked or cleaned up because your mother did all these things, your results will not be as effective as any adult woman taking on these tasks. You'll take longer doing it and with less effective results. If possible, get your experienced spouse to walk you through how she does all these things.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be loving.\", \"描述\": \"Love is an important ingredient for a successful household. Remind your kids and wife or significant other that you love them, often. Pay attention to your wife or significant other and children. Like say that boy of yours is dying to go to the park for some baseball. Make an effort to spend as much time as possible. If you do this, your family will know that they are loved.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take Responsibility for the household!\", \"描述\": \"You are now the \\\"homemaker\\\" of your family. Being the homemaker, it is your responsibility to make it a home. Ensure the cleanliness of the home and that repairs and maintenance are completed. One of the greatest advantages to the house husband is that you can now take the time to do the needed repairs or maintenance items that would have taken time away from your family when you were away at work.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain a great Appearance.\", \"描述\": \"It is all too easy to stop paying attention to your appearance when you have a no reason to \\\"dress to impress\\\" at the office. Try to spend some time each day making yourself look good and well kept. There is no reason why you can't still maintain a good appearance, even if you have no plans of leaving the house that day. Further, your wife or significant other would love to come home to see you looking good -- not dumpy and unkempt.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"DON'T Forget about the Cooking!\", \"描述\": \"Remember when you would work all day, how great it was to come home to a freshly prepared meal. Now that you are a house husband you can ensure your family eats a delicious meal, prepared for them with love, every day of the week.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Plan ahead, with the aim to have a delicious meal on the table when your spouse gets home from work.\", \"描述\": \"Microwave meals are not suitable cuisine, so find a recipe book you like and start experimenting. Having a great meal ready for your family is good way to let them know that you have been thinking about them. A good meal can be an expression of love and a warm welcome home.\\nCrock pots and other slow cooked meals may give you the chance to get other chores done while the food cooks. They tend to be very tasty.\\nIf you want them eating healthier, treats should be something of a special occasion. Everyday snacks could be fruit, vegetables or healthy grains while a big production dessert could take place sometime on the weekend for everyone to enjoy it together.\\nBudgeting for food is another big part of the job. Prepackaged anything costs more, the more home cooking you do, the better the family will eat both in health and in terms of luxury. Buying non-perishables in bulk is often cheaper than small boxes or quantities.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Pay close attention to little things.\", \"描述\": \"Remember family birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc. Attention to detail adds up to big attention, and you will have a happy marriage as a result.\\nRemember the personal treats that cheer up your loved ones individually. If you remember the kids' favorite foods and fix them regularly or surprise your spouse with flowers from the garden or a candlelit bath - these things create memories. If you do these small affectionate things more often than calendar holidays and birthdays, they create very powerful memories. They don't have to be big, just personal. Keep track of the things that cheer up your spouse and your kids individually, write them down sometimes when they're not home. When they have a really bad day, that's when to trot out the comfort food or the surprise foot rub.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don't Forget the Errands!\", \"描述\": \"Remember, there is more to keeping a family happy than what is in the immediate house. Don't forget the important errands that can add up and take a lot of time to do. By doing one or two a day you can keep up with them, and they will not get unmanageable or take up mass amounts of time on weekends or family time. Pick up the dry cleaning when it is ready, Run to the market when you know something is needed, pickup packages and other items that may need to be retrieved. Overall, just make sure that the errands and tasks are done. Your family will appreciate you for it.\\nIf you don't like shopping that often, you can reduce the number of errands by planning ahead and doing them in groups. If you want to get in shape, bicycle for perishable shopping and only use the car when you're stocking up non-perishables or big stuff.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Organize your time!\", \"描述\": \"It may not feel like a job, but there's a reason why half the human race did it full time for a living for so long. It's easy to get overwhelmed with the wide variety of different tasks that need to be done every day, especially maintenance cleaning that gets interrupted by minor problems and crises. Appliances break, the time you take fixing it or running out to replace it means you start dinner late, all of a sudden the stuff that needed to be done isn't all done and there's no food. Folks get annoyed at this especially if they take their own skills for granted and think what you do is a no-brainer. First experiment and find out how much time these tasks actually take, then budget three times that time for how long they really take when everything goes wrong. Life always happens.\\nBudget a small personal treat for the tasks you don't enjoy. It can be small like a pack of gum or non-monetary like taking the time to play a game. Or just put a dollar into a jar till it adds up for something big that you want. Small personal rewards make it easier to motivate yourself to do things that you're reluctant to that need to be done. Change is good for this if you need to break it down to different specific chores and a lot of them need doing. Or when you finish a chore faster than you planned and still did a good job, put a note in the \\\"time bank\\\" and build up to where you can spend most of a day playing a video game or whatever.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Be Happy!\", \"描述\": \"Anger spreads fast. Remember when mom was furious? What a scary thought! Happiness will be effective tool on your household, and will provide peace in your home.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Show Respect.\", \"描述\": \"When a child does something good, (For example: Get an A on a test in a class they were failing in, learn to ride their bike, etc...) Tell them how proud you are. Acknowledge your families contributions, no matter how small you may think they are.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Feel secure in your masculinity. People who give you a hard time about your new life are being irrational and backwards-thinking.\\n\", \"Remember: It's now your job to excel, just like when you were committed to a different career.\\n\", \"Learn to clean effectively, and thoroughly.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't play video games until the chores are done. It's okay to get them done early except for things that take waiting time, just be sure to save game and get the laundry into the dryer when you're using that time for gaming.\\n\", \"Try to control your anger.\\n\", \"Don't procrastinate. It gets really bad, really fast if you let things pile up and then it takes a lot more work. Much better to get a lot done early and spend the rest of the day on the things you enjoy.\\n\", \"Don't assume you know how to clean unless the military taught you!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
|
4,466 |
How to Be a Good Housekeeper
|
1. Steps
1-1. Fifteen minutes a day will go a long way towards a really clean house!
Start by walking around the main areas- the entryways, living room, dining room and kitchen - first and picking up all the trash. Take dirty dishes to the sink to be washed later. Make sure to look under the tables and under the edges of other furniture to make sure no trash is left.
1-2. Everyone has 'hotspots':
places where paper and clutter seems to just pile up. An attractive basket is one way to organize these until you have time to file. But be sure to take a few minutes each day to deal with your 'hotspots'!
1-3. Look around the living room:
tidy up the 'hotspots', fluff the pillows, put away or recycle the magazines and newspapers. You'll come back later to do the floor!
1-4. Since we all have to eat, the next area to tackle should be the kitchen.
Start with the counters. Clear everything off the counters and place it on the dining table or in their respective cabinets or drawers. If your hands are sensitive, find a pair of rubber gloves. Then clean off the dust and any debris that are on the counters with a damp sponge. If there are any stains from food products, use the Magic Erasers to help with this. If you use your counter as a cutting board (which is never recommended) the magic eraser will clean in the little cut marks on the counter to remove germs and food build up. Just look at the magic eraser when you're done, you'll see how filthy it is. (see warnings section for proper use of the magic erasers, and the "Tips" section for alternatives to it.) Make yourself a note, if you don't have a cutting board, to get an inexpensive one the next time you're at the store. Never cut directly on your counters! Waxing the counters makes them look new and shiny but is probably over-the-top for most people. (Mrs. Meyer's Countertop spray is easy to use and leaves them shiny and smelling nice).
1-5. Next, the oven/stove top.
(See: How to Clean an Oven and How to Clean the Stove Top).
1-6. Next on the list is the refrigerator.
This can be an extra step and can be saved for another time. However, most people don't clean their refrigerators regularly. This can result in stuck on food bits that are hard to clean, crumbs in the back of the fridge and under the drawers, and if left unkempt for too long, will attract bugs. Clean old food out of the fridge, check expiry dates, clean off the shelves with the magic eraser, pull out the drawers and clean the bits out from under them. You will notice a big difference each time you open your fridge. (See:How to clean a refrigerator).
1-7. With the counters dry and shiny, how much of what was on them really needs to live there?
Put most of it away in a convenient place until really needed, put the rest back on the shiny counters, and put a nice tablecloth on the table, with maybe even a decorative bowl of fruit or a plant if you have one.
1-8. If you have a few extra minutes, wipe down the front of the appliances too.
Do the fronts of the cabinets some other time but if they're looking grungy around the handles or knobs, at least give those a swipe now.
1-9. Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
We're not looking for perfection here!
1-10. If cold season is near, one of the easiest way to prevent them is to wipe off doorknobs with a 10% bleach solution.
This is also good for disinfecting kitchen and bathroom counters. You don't need to buy the expensive premade stuff in the spray bottles at the grocery store. For 1/20th the cost you can make it yourself!
1-11. The next step is the bathroom.
A clean bathroom makes people feel much more comfortable in your home, while a dirty one has a huge 'ICK!' factor. First clean off the bathroom counters. Put things away that you do not constantly use. Find a way to attractively display those that you do. Bathrooms are so small, even a little bit of clutter is unattractive. A rag or paper towel with some glass cleaner will clean the mirror, other surfaces and fixtures as well. This makes a nice impression with guests. Finally, fluff and refold the towels and wipe up the floor with the rag, and toss it in the laundry basket. See also How to Clean a toilet and How to Clean a Bathtub.
1-12. Go back to the living and dining room.
Dust off any tables, shelves and items on them. This gives people a better impression of your home and helps prevent allergies. If the items are washable (such as glass decorations) set aside some time later to wash them and allow them to dry completely before replacing them. If you're expecting company in the next few days and there's time, polishing the wood and glass is a nice touch (but never use the same kind of polish for glass and wood! Lemon oil is best for wood, glass cleaners, such as Sparkle, for glass. If the smell of store-bought cleaners is bothersome, you can inexpensively make your own. There are many kinds of products that are also non-toxic and quite effective such as Mrs. Meyer's).
1-13. One of the last steps is to sweep and mop bare floors and vacuum all carpeted ones.
1-14. Last step is Laundry!
1-15. Finished.
Tips
Check hotspots daily to see that they're not getting out of hand. Devise a workable file system - a binder perhaps, or set of them, or a file box - for your paperwork: one for things to keep permanently, such as birth certificates (unless you choose to keep those in a safety deposit box at a bank), and one for things to be filed every month, such as paid bills and business paperwork.
Every week try to devote a few a day to a new area of your home - a closet, a cupboard or cabinet. Little by little does the trick!
Keep a trash receptacle in an area you can tell accumulates a lot of trash. Besides the one in the kitchen, you might want one by the coffee table (for old newspapers, used tissue or food wrappers), computer room, or bedroom.
Warnings
Some chemicals can be hazardous to humans and animals. Always read the instructions and warnings on your products and use only as directed.
Always use the Mr. Clean Magic Erasers as directed on the package they came in. These are VERY abrasive sponges and they can and WILL take paint off of surfaces and leave a "matte" type finish. Always read the instructions and use rubber gloves.
If you need to use a ladder to complete any task, make sure it is on a stable, flat surface and always use caution. Get help to steady the ladder if necessary.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Fifteen minutes a day will go a long way towards a really clean house!\\nStart by walking around the main areas- the entryways, living room, dining room and kitchen - first and picking up all the trash. Take dirty dishes to the sink to be washed later. Make sure to look under the tables and under the edges of other furniture to make sure no trash is left.\\n1-2. Everyone has 'hotspots':\\nplaces where paper and clutter seems to just pile up. An attractive basket is one way to organize these until you have time to file. But be sure to take a few minutes each day to deal with your 'hotspots'!\\n1-3. Look around the living room:\\ntidy up the 'hotspots', fluff the pillows, put away or recycle the magazines and newspapers. You'll come back later to do the floor!\\n1-4. Since we all have to eat, the next area to tackle should be the kitchen.\\nStart with the counters. Clear everything off the counters and place it on the dining table or in their respective cabinets or drawers. If your hands are sensitive, find a pair of rubber gloves. Then clean off the dust and any debris that are on the counters with a damp sponge. If there are any stains from food products, use the Magic Erasers to help with this. If you use your counter as a cutting board (which is never recommended) the magic eraser will clean in the little cut marks on the counter to remove germs and food build up. Just look at the magic eraser when you're done, you'll see how filthy it is. (see warnings section for proper use of the magic erasers, and the \\\"Tips\\\" section for alternatives to it.) Make yourself a note, if you don't have a cutting board, to get an inexpensive one the next time you're at the store. Never cut directly on your counters! Waxing the counters makes them look new and shiny but is probably over-the-top for most people. (Mrs. Meyer's Countertop spray is easy to use and leaves them shiny and smelling nice).\\n1-5. Next, the oven/stove top.\\n(See: How to Clean an Oven and How to Clean the Stove Top).\\n1-6. Next on the list is the refrigerator.\\nThis can be an extra step and can be saved for another time. However, most people don't clean their refrigerators regularly. This can result in stuck on food bits that are hard to clean, crumbs in the back of the fridge and under the drawers, and if left unkempt for too long, will attract bugs. Clean old food out of the fridge, check expiry dates, clean off the shelves with the magic eraser, pull out the drawers and clean the bits out from under them. You will notice a big difference each time you open your fridge. (See:How to clean a refrigerator).\\n1-7. With the counters dry and shiny, how much of what was on them really needs to live there?\\nPut most of it away in a convenient place until really needed, put the rest back on the shiny counters, and put a nice tablecloth on the table, with maybe even a decorative bowl of fruit or a plant if you have one.\\n1-8. If you have a few extra minutes, wipe down the front of the appliances too.\\nDo the fronts of the cabinets some other time but if they're looking grungy around the handles or knobs, at least give those a swipe now.\\n1-9. Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.\\nWe're not looking for perfection here!\\n1-10. If cold season is near, one of the easiest way to prevent them is to wipe off doorknobs with a 10% bleach solution.\\nThis is also good for disinfecting kitchen and bathroom counters. You don't need to buy the expensive premade stuff in the spray bottles at the grocery store. For 1/20th the cost you can make it yourself!\\n1-11. The next step is the bathroom.\\nA clean bathroom makes people feel much more comfortable in your home, while a dirty one has a huge 'ICK!' factor. First clean off the bathroom counters. Put things away that you do not constantly use. Find a way to attractively display those that you do. Bathrooms are so small, even a little bit of clutter is unattractive. A rag or paper towel with some glass cleaner will clean the mirror, other surfaces and fixtures as well. This makes a nice impression with guests. Finally, fluff and refold the towels and wipe up the floor with the rag, and toss it in the laundry basket. See also How to Clean a toilet and How to Clean a Bathtub.\\n1-12. Go back to the living and dining room.\\nDust off any tables, shelves and items on them. This gives people a better impression of your home and helps prevent allergies. If the items are washable (such as glass decorations) set aside some time later to wash them and allow them to dry completely before replacing them. If you're expecting company in the next few days and there's time, polishing the wood and glass is a nice touch (but never use the same kind of polish for glass and wood! Lemon oil is best for wood, glass cleaners, such as Sparkle, for glass. If the smell of store-bought cleaners is bothersome, you can inexpensively make your own. There are many kinds of products that are also non-toxic and quite effective such as Mrs. Meyer's).\\n1-13. One of the last steps is to sweep and mop bare floors and vacuum all carpeted ones.\\n\\n1-14. Last step is Laundry!\\n\\n1-15. Finished.\\n\\nTips\\nCheck hotspots daily to see that they're not getting out of hand. Devise a workable file system - a binder perhaps, or set of them, or a file box - for your paperwork: one for things to keep permanently, such as birth certificates (unless you choose to keep those in a safety deposit box at a bank), and one for things to be filed every month, such as paid bills and business paperwork.\\nEvery week try to devote a few a day to a new area of your home - a closet, a cupboard or cabinet. Little by little does the trick!\\nKeep a trash receptacle in an area you can tell accumulates a lot of trash. Besides the one in the kitchen, you might want one by the coffee table (for old newspapers, used tissue or food wrappers), computer room, or bedroom.\\nWarnings\\nSome chemicals can be hazardous to humans and animals. Always read the instructions and warnings on your products and use only as directed.\\nAlways use the Mr. Clean Magic Erasers as directed on the package they came in. These are VERY abrasive sponges and they can and WILL take paint off of surfaces and leave a \\\"matte\\\" type finish. Always read the instructions and use rubber gloves.\\nIf you need to use a ladder to complete any task, make sure it is on a stable, flat surface and always use caution. Get help to steady the ladder if necessary.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Cleaning up the house will give you a much happier place to live, and you won't be afraid to invite friends over, which is a plus! Don't fret: getting the house from chaos to clean can be a big task, but keeping it clean thereafter will not be.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fifteen minutes a day will go a long way towards a really clean house!\", \"描述\": \"Start by walking around the main areas- the entryways, living room, dining room and kitchen - first and picking up all the trash. Take dirty dishes to the sink to be washed later. Make sure to look under the tables and under the edges of other furniture to make sure no trash is left.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Everyone has 'hotspots':\", \"描述\": \"places where paper and clutter seems to just pile up. An attractive basket is one way to organize these until you have time to file. But be sure to take a few minutes each day to deal with your 'hotspots'!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look around the living room:\", \"描述\": \"tidy up the 'hotspots', fluff the pillows, put away or recycle the magazines and newspapers. You'll come back later to do the floor!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Since we all have to eat, the next area to tackle should be the kitchen.\", \"描述\": \"Start with the counters. Clear everything off the counters and place it on the dining table or in their respective cabinets or drawers. If your hands are sensitive, find a pair of rubber gloves. Then clean off the dust and any debris that are on the counters with a damp sponge. If there are any stains from food products, use the Magic Erasers to help with this. If you use your counter as a cutting board (which is never recommended) the magic eraser will clean in the little cut marks on the counter to remove germs and food build up. Just look at the magic eraser when you're done, you'll see how filthy it is. (see warnings section for proper use of the magic erasers, and the \\\"Tips\\\" section for alternatives to it.) Make yourself a note, if you don't have a cutting board, to get an inexpensive one the next time you're at the store. Never cut directly on your counters! Waxing the counters makes them look new and shiny but is probably over-the-top for most people. (Mrs. Meyer's Countertop spray is easy to use and leaves them shiny and smelling nice).\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Next, the oven/stove top.\", \"描述\": \"(See: How to Clean an Oven and How to Clean the Stove Top).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Next on the list is the refrigerator.\", \"描述\": \"This can be an extra step and can be saved for another time. However, most people don't clean their refrigerators regularly. This can result in stuck on food bits that are hard to clean, crumbs in the back of the fridge and under the drawers, and if left unkempt for too long, will attract bugs. Clean old food out of the fridge, check expiry dates, clean off the shelves with the magic eraser, pull out the drawers and clean the bits out from under them. You will notice a big difference each time you open your fridge. (See:How to clean a refrigerator).\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"With the counters dry and shiny, how much of what was on them really needs to live there?\", \"描述\": \"Put most of it away in a convenient place until really needed, put the rest back on the shiny counters, and put a nice tablecloth on the table, with maybe even a decorative bowl of fruit or a plant if you have one.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"If you have a few extra minutes, wipe down the front of the appliances too.\", \"描述\": \"Do the fronts of the cabinets some other time but if they're looking grungy around the handles or knobs, at least give those a swipe now.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.\", \"描述\": \"We're not looking for perfection here!\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"If cold season is near, one of the easiest way to prevent them is to wipe off doorknobs with a 10% bleach solution.\", \"描述\": \"This is also good for disinfecting kitchen and bathroom counters. You don't need to buy the expensive premade stuff in the spray bottles at the grocery store. For 1/20th the cost you can make it yourself!\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"The next step is the bathroom.\", \"描述\": \"A clean bathroom makes people feel much more comfortable in your home, while a dirty one has a huge 'ICK!' factor. First clean off the bathroom counters. Put things away that you do not constantly use. Find a way to attractively display those that you do. Bathrooms are so small, even a little bit of clutter is unattractive. A rag or paper towel with some glass cleaner will clean the mirror, other surfaces and fixtures as well. This makes a nice impression with guests. Finally, fluff and refold the towels and wipe up the floor with the rag, and toss it in the laundry basket. See also How to Clean a toilet and How to Clean a Bathtub.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Go back to the living and dining room.\", \"描述\": \"Dust off any tables, shelves and items on them. This gives people a better impression of your home and helps prevent allergies. If the items are washable (such as glass decorations) set aside some time later to wash them and allow them to dry completely before replacing them. If you're expecting company in the next few days and there's time, polishing the wood and glass is a nice touch (but never use the same kind of polish for glass and wood! Lemon oil is best for wood, glass cleaners, such as Sparkle, for glass. If the smell of store-bought cleaners is bothersome, you can inexpensively make your own. There are many kinds of products that are also non-toxic and quite effective such as Mrs. Meyer's).\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"One of the last steps is to sweep and mop bare floors and vacuum all carpeted ones.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Last step is Laundry!\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Finished.\", \"描述\": \"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Check hotspots daily to see that they're not getting out of hand. Devise a workable file system - a binder perhaps, or set of them, or a file box - for your paperwork: one for things to keep permanently, such as birth certificates (unless you choose to keep those in a safety deposit box at a bank), and one for things to be filed every month, such as paid bills and business paperwork.\\n\", \"Every week try to devote a few a day to a new area of your home - a closet, a cupboard or cabinet. Little by little does the trick!\\n\", \"Keep a trash receptacle in an area you can tell accumulates a lot of trash. Besides the one in the kitchen, you might want one by the coffee table (for old newspapers, used tissue or food wrappers), computer room, or bedroom.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Some chemicals can be hazardous to humans and animals. Always read the instructions and warnings on your products and use only as directed.\\n\", \"Always use the Mr. Clean Magic Erasers as directed on the package they came in. These are VERY abrasive sponges and they can and WILL take paint off of surfaces and leave a \\\"matte\\\" type finish. Always read the instructions and use rubber gloves.\\n\", \"If you need to use a ladder to complete any task, make sure it is on a stable, flat surface and always use caution. Get help to steady the ladder if necessary.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,467 |
How to Be a Good Housewife
|
1. Running Your Home
1-1. Cook (healthy) meals
Try to make healthy meals, to keep your whole family feeling their best, as well as keeping yourself healthy and strong (so you can deal with all the challenges in your day!). If you don't know how to cook, try to learn!
Plan ahead, with the aim to have a delicious meal on the table when anyone who needs a meal gets home. It is often said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and it is absolutely true in many cases. Microwave meals are not always suitable cuisine, so find a recipe book you like and start experimenting.
Having a great meal ready is a good way to let anyone know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about their welfare. A good meal can be an expression of love and a warm welcome for the returning household.
1-2. Keep the house as clean as you can
Do your best to make your home a clean and pleasant place to live in. Having a clean house can reduce everybody's stress and make things run much smoother. Prevent the constant search for the misplaced keys and the annoying dirty-dish odor by staying on top of the household chores.
1-3. Do the laundry
Laundry is stressful and time consuming, plus leaving it around can make your home stinky! If you want to reduce your household's stress, help out by keeping the whole family's clothing clean. With some careful planning, you can easily fit it into your day. You can even get the kids to help you fold!
1-4. Have a schedule.
You are like a general and your family are your troops. You have to keep everything running smoothly! Create schedules for cleaning and how you'll get through your days, in order to help everything run better. Scheduling time is a great way to make sure more gets done in your day, since you'll find yourself wasting much less time!
1-5. Wake up early.
Get a head start on your day to make everything go more smoothly. Oversleeping will only make you more tired anyway. Getting up earlier will make sure you get everyone's lunches made and everyone dressed and ready to go without all the stress and scrambling to find that missing backpack.
1-6. Create a healthy environment.
Everyone in your family should come home to a healthy, empowering, uplifting environment. Do your best to make sure that everyone's spiritual and emotional needs are being met, including your own, to make your home the best home it can be.
2. Maintaining Your Relationship
2-1. Discuss expectations with your partner.
Discuss realistic expectations, and how to meet them as best as you can. Do not presume that you have the same expectations because you may find out the hard way (through arguments) that you don't. Sit down and talk it over.
The definition of a good housewife depends on which house you live in. It is also very culture-dependent.
What are the things your partner is hoping you will keep up with in the home? What are their responsibilities in the home? If you are primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, your partner may take responsibility for cleaning up after him or herself: putting dirty laundry in the hamper, putting dishes in the dishwasher, etc.
If you are also caring for young children or special needs children or adults during the day, you may be surprised by how difficult it is to also keep up with household tasks. Your partner may need to help significantly with the cooking and cleaning, if possible.
2-2. Maintain a respectable appearance.
It is all too easy to stop paying attention to your appearance when you are a busy housewife but maintaining attraction is a key element of a long-term relationship. While it was important to keep a good appearance during dating/courtship, it is even more important in a married relationship, or any committed relationship. Make sure you're bathing regularly and wearing clean clothes. This is really about showing your partner that you still respect yourself....and you should respect yourself enough to take care of yourself!
If your partner often tells you they like it when you wear a certain garment or outfit, by all means, take the hint.
2-3. Treat your partner as a partner, like an adult, not a child.
It is important for your partner to still have control over their personal situations, like choosing their hobbies, their meals, their clothes, etc. When you are home a lot, it can be easy to want to take control of everything your partner does in the home, but this may not be their preference. It's all right if you want to give your input in a polite way, and of course fine if they asked you. Otherwise, let them have space, just as you want yours. You are two separate human beings, always remember that.
2-4. Listen
A good partner listens to what her spouse has to say without interrupting. Show empathy and learn how to have great conversations. The key idea is that to be a good conversationalist, you should strive to listen more and talk less, by engaging the other person to talk more about his interests. That is the mark of humility, respect, selflessness, and generosity.
This will also set a good example and they should also listen to you more!
2-5. Find a balance in arguments.
Husbands are not tyrannic creatures: if you find a balance in arguments, and take turns to speak, things will surely improve. Just remember to respect each other, and things will go much better.
Some arguing is normal. Don't worry if this happens. You are different people and you will disagree sometimes! Just handle the arguments in a healthy way and everything will be okay.
2-6. Love
Don't criticize him in a constructive or cruel way. Whatever your image of the 'ideal' man may be, everyone is unique in his own ways, so try to respect that. Before you try to improve others, try to improve yourself first. If you find things disagreeable about him, let him know in a mature, sensible and loving way: chances are that he will agree on some things and/or explain others, plus it will build trust between both of you and save unnecessary conflicts.
3. Going the Extra Mile
3-1. Make intimacy a priority
A healthy sexual relationship is extremely important for relationships to succeed long term. This does not necessarily mean having a lot of sex, but instead means that both partners should be satisfied with the amount and quality. Talk out your expectations and become a better lover if you can. It never hurts, and will only help to learn more about the sexual side of marriage.
3-2. Be considerate of your spouse's needs.
People need space and alone time every now and again. While you have time to yourself during the day (while the kids are at school or asleep), your husband doesn't have that and may need some alone time to unwind when he comes home from a hard day at work. Be available to spend time with him and comfort him, but if he wants to spend time alone or with his friends and not you, take a step back and let him have his way.
Help him unwind more by welcoming him home with a big smile and allowing him to relax. Have his favorite meal and drink ready, and let him relax after a tough day of work.
3-3. Set up activities for your kids.
Set up fun, educational activities for your kids or for the whole family. You can do some research and then do a guided tour of a museum, or you can go on a hike and teach everyone about the natural features you encounter.
3-4. Be a great hostess.
Show everyone you know all of the hard work you do by hosting block parties or holiday parties every now and again. Make some great food, decorate your home, and set up fun activities. This will let everyone bond and have a great time!
3-5. Create the perfect atmosphere.
If you really want to go above and beyond, take your home decorating skills up a notch and try to get that magazine look in your own home. This will give you and your husband something to be proud of, as well as creating a great environment for your kids.
3-6. Get your husband out of the house.
Help your husband arrange activities for himself, like a fantasy football group or a bowling night. This will help him unwind. A happy husband makes for a much less stressed wife. Let him choose his own activities, of course, but make sure he knows that you think it's healthy for him to get out of the house sometimes. Not everything is about work!
4. Keeping Your Spirit Up
4-1. Get out of the house regularly.
It is easy to get caught up in your work and barely leave the house all day. This is a good recipe for the blues. Find some weekly activities (local libraries are a good place to look) that will get you out of the house at least once a day. If the afternoon rolls around and you realize you have not been out, go for a stroll, hang out at a bookstore or coffee shop for a half hour, or call a buddy and meet for tea.
4-2. Have friends.
It seems pretty basic, right? But housewives can often get so busy that they forget to make time for their friends and maintain those social relationships. But if you create an environment where your husband is your only friend, you'll find yourself talking his ear off! Spend time with your own friends (by having lunch dates or weekly meetings) to keep everyone happy.
4-3. Take up a hobby.
You need to do things that make you happy too. Have something that is just yours and that gives you the opportunity to do something productive or creative that doesn't involve your home. This will give you an important emotional outlet. Try taking up productive hobbies, like sewing or cooking.
4-4. Consider getting more education.
Just because you may not need a degree for your job doesn't mean that you can't get better educated! Learning is fun and will make you feel more productive and self-confident. You don't even have to go to an actual school. You can read a lot of books (find them at your local library!) or you can take online classes for free through websites like Coursera or MIT Opencourseware.
4-5. Consider taking a side job
There are lots of jobs that you can work from home if you have some extra time. This will give you a way to contribute to the household and will also give you something to be proud of! You can open a home daycare or petsit, or even do things like data entry or run a travel agency. There are lots of options!
4-6. Let your family take care of you sometimes.
You work hard and your family should occasionally help by bearing some of the load. They will probably want to do this naturally, but you can also have a set-aside one day a month where they do all of the things you do. This will have the added effect of making them appreciate the things you do more.
Tips
Live joyfully. Make sure that you create a routine and role for yourself that brings you and your family joy. Being a good housewife is about doing the best you can for the welfare of the entire household, so make it work for you, your partner, and everyone else in the family.
Don't gossip. Gossiping is in bad taste, no matter how fashionable it might look. Talking behind people's backs will make you seem untrustworthy and if your husband finds out he will have every right to question if you have been talking about him behind his back as well. Discussing your problems with a trusted best friend is one thing, but gossiping with your book club is another. Always be respectful, so people will treat you (and your husband!) with respect.
Learn first aid, to help keep your family safe.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Running Your Home\\n1-1. Cook (healthy) meals\\nTry to make healthy meals, to keep your whole family feeling their best, as well as keeping yourself healthy and strong (so you can deal with all the challenges in your day!). If you don't know how to cook, try to learn!\\nPlan ahead, with the aim to have a delicious meal on the table when anyone who needs a meal gets home. It is often said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and it is absolutely true in many cases. Microwave meals are not always suitable cuisine, so find a recipe book you like and start experimenting.\\nHaving a great meal ready is a good way to let anyone know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about their welfare. A good meal can be an expression of love and a warm welcome for the returning household.\\n1-2. Keep the house as clean as you can\\nDo your best to make your home a clean and pleasant place to live in. Having a clean house can reduce everybody's stress and make things run much smoother. Prevent the constant search for the misplaced keys and the annoying dirty-dish odor by staying on top of the household chores.\\n1-3. Do the laundry\\nLaundry is stressful and time consuming, plus leaving it around can make your home stinky! If you want to reduce your household's stress, help out by keeping the whole family's clothing clean. With some careful planning, you can easily fit it into your day. You can even get the kids to help you fold!\\n1-4. Have a schedule.\\nYou are like a general and your family are your troops. You have to keep everything running smoothly! Create schedules for cleaning and how you'll get through your days, in order to help everything run better. Scheduling time is a great way to make sure more gets done in your day, since you'll find yourself wasting much less time!\\n1-5. Wake up early.\\nGet a head start on your day to make everything go more smoothly. Oversleeping will only make you more tired anyway. Getting up earlier will make sure you get everyone's lunches made and everyone dressed and ready to go without all the stress and scrambling to find that missing backpack.\\n1-6. Create a healthy environment.\\nEveryone in your family should come home to a healthy, empowering, uplifting environment. Do your best to make sure that everyone's spiritual and emotional needs are being met, including your own, to make your home the best home it can be.\\n2. Maintaining Your Relationship\\n2-1. Discuss expectations with your partner.\\nDiscuss realistic expectations, and how to meet them as best as you can. Do not presume that you have the same expectations because you may find out the hard way (through arguments) that you don't. Sit down and talk it over.\\nThe definition of a good housewife depends on which house you live in. It is also very culture-dependent.\\nWhat are the things your partner is hoping you will keep up with in the home? What are their responsibilities in the home? If you are primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, your partner may take responsibility for cleaning up after him or herself: putting dirty laundry in the hamper, putting dishes in the dishwasher, etc.\\nIf you are also caring for young children or special needs children or adults during the day, you may be surprised by how difficult it is to also keep up with household tasks. Your partner may need to help significantly with the cooking and cleaning, if possible.\\n2-2. Maintain a respectable appearance.\\nIt is all too easy to stop paying attention to your appearance when you are a busy housewife but maintaining attraction is a key element of a long-term relationship. While it was important to keep a good appearance during dating/courtship, it is even more important in a married relationship, or any committed relationship. Make sure you're bathing regularly and wearing clean clothes. This is really about showing your partner that you still respect yourself....and you should respect yourself enough to take care of yourself!\\nIf your partner often tells you they like it when you wear a certain garment or outfit, by all means, take the hint.\\n2-3. Treat your partner as a partner, like an adult, not a child.\\nIt is important for your partner to still have control over their personal situations, like choosing their hobbies, their meals, their clothes, etc. When you are home a lot, it can be easy to want to take control of everything your partner does in the home, but this may not be their preference. It's all right if you want to give your input in a polite way, and of course fine if they asked you. Otherwise, let them have space, just as you want yours. You are two separate human beings, always remember that.\\n2-4. Listen\\nA good partner listens to what her spouse has to say without interrupting. Show empathy and learn how to have great conversations. The key idea is that to be a good conversationalist, you should strive to listen more and talk less, by engaging the other person to talk more about his interests. That is the mark of humility, respect, selflessness, and generosity.\\nThis will also set a good example and they should also listen to you more!\\n2-5. Find a balance in arguments.\\nHusbands are not tyrannic creatures: if you find a balance in arguments, and take turns to speak, things will surely improve. Just remember to respect each other, and things will go much better.\\nSome arguing is normal. Don't worry if this happens. You are different people and you will disagree sometimes! Just handle the arguments in a healthy way and everything will be okay.\\n2-6. Love\\nDon't criticize him in a constructive or cruel way. Whatever your image of the 'ideal' man may be, everyone is unique in his own ways, so try to respect that. Before you try to improve others, try to improve yourself first. If you find things disagreeable about him, let him know in a mature, sensible and loving way: chances are that he will agree on some things and/or explain others, plus it will build trust between both of you and save unnecessary conflicts.\\n3. Going the Extra Mile\\n3-1. Make intimacy a priority\\nA healthy sexual relationship is extremely important for relationships to succeed long term. This does not necessarily mean having a lot of sex, but instead means that both partners should be satisfied with the amount and quality. Talk out your expectations and become a better lover if you can. It never hurts, and will only help to learn more about the sexual side of marriage.\\n3-2. Be considerate of your spouse's needs.\\nPeople need space and alone time every now and again. While you have time to yourself during the day (while the kids are at school or asleep), your husband doesn't have that and may need some alone time to unwind when he comes home from a hard day at work. Be available to spend time with him and comfort him, but if he wants to spend time alone or with his friends and not you, take a step back and let him have his way.\\nHelp him unwind more by welcoming him home with a big smile and allowing him to relax. Have his favorite meal and drink ready, and let him relax after a tough day of work.\\n3-3. Set up activities for your kids.\\nSet up fun, educational activities for your kids or for the whole family. You can do some research and then do a guided tour of a museum, or you can go on a hike and teach everyone about the natural features you encounter.\\n3-4. Be a great hostess.\\nShow everyone you know all of the hard work you do by hosting block parties or holiday parties every now and again. Make some great food, decorate your home, and set up fun activities. This will let everyone bond and have a great time!\\n3-5. Create the perfect atmosphere.\\nIf you really want to go above and beyond, take your home decorating skills up a notch and try to get that magazine look in your own home. This will give you and your husband something to be proud of, as well as creating a great environment for your kids.\\n3-6. Get your husband out of the house.\\nHelp your husband arrange activities for himself, like a fantasy football group or a bowling night. This will help him unwind. A happy husband makes for a much less stressed wife. Let him choose his own activities, of course, but make sure he knows that you think it's healthy for him to get out of the house sometimes. Not everything is about work!\\n4. Keeping Your Spirit Up\\n4-1. Get out of the house regularly.\\nIt is easy to get caught up in your work and barely leave the house all day. This is a good recipe for the blues. Find some weekly activities (local libraries are a good place to look) that will get you out of the house at least once a day. If the afternoon rolls around and you realize you have not been out, go for a stroll, hang out at a bookstore or coffee shop for a half hour, or call a buddy and meet for tea.\\n4-2. Have friends.\\nIt seems pretty basic, right? But housewives can often get so busy that they forget to make time for their friends and maintain those social relationships. But if you create an environment where your husband is your only friend, you'll find yourself talking his ear off! Spend time with your own friends (by having lunch dates or weekly meetings) to keep everyone happy.\\n4-3. Take up a hobby.\\nYou need to do things that make you happy too. Have something that is just yours and that gives you the opportunity to do something productive or creative that doesn't involve your home. This will give you an important emotional outlet. Try taking up productive hobbies, like sewing or cooking.\\n4-4. Consider getting more education.\\nJust because you may not need a degree for your job doesn't mean that you can't get better educated! Learning is fun and will make you feel more productive and self-confident. You don't even have to go to an actual school. You can read a lot of books (find them at your local library!) or you can take online classes for free through websites like Coursera or MIT Opencourseware.\\n4-5. Consider taking a side job\\nThere are lots of jobs that you can work from home if you have some extra time. This will give you a way to contribute to the household and will also give you something to be proud of! You can open a home daycare or petsit, or even do things like data entry or run a travel agency. There are lots of options!\\n4-6. Let your family take care of you sometimes.\\nYou work hard and your family should occasionally help by bearing some of the load. They will probably want to do this naturally, but you can also have a set-aside one day a month where they do all of the things you do. This will have the added effect of making them appreciate the things you do more.\\nTips\\nLive joyfully. Make sure that you create a routine and role for yourself that brings you and your family joy. Being a good housewife is about doing the best you can for the welfare of the entire household, so make it work for you, your partner, and everyone else in the family.\\nDon't gossip. Gossiping is in bad taste, no matter how fashionable it might look. Talking behind people's backs will make you seem untrustworthy and if your husband finds out he will have every right to question if you have been talking about him behind his back as well. Discussing your problems with a trusted best friend is one thing, but gossiping with your book club is another. Always be respectful, so people will treat you (and your husband!) with respect.\\nLearn first aid, to help keep your family safe.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you a new housewife or are you just looking to really step up your game? Either way, this article will give you some great ideas for creating the perfect home and maintaining a healthy relationship with your family, whether that's just your partner or your partner and your children.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Running Your Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cook (healthy) meals\", \"描述\": \"Try to make healthy meals, to keep your whole family feeling their best, as well as keeping yourself healthy and strong (so you can deal with all the challenges in your day!). If you don't know how to cook, try to learn!\\nPlan ahead, with the aim to have a delicious meal on the table when anyone who needs a meal gets home. It is often said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and it is absolutely true in many cases. Microwave meals are not always suitable cuisine, so find a recipe book you like and start experimenting.\\nHaving a great meal ready is a good way to let anyone know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about their welfare. A good meal can be an expression of love and a warm welcome for the returning household.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep the house as clean as you can\", \"描述\": \"Do your best to make your home a clean and pleasant place to live in. Having a clean house can reduce everybody's stress and make things run much smoother. Prevent the constant search for the misplaced keys and the annoying dirty-dish odor by staying on top of the household chores.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do the laundry\", \"描述\": \"Laundry is stressful and time consuming, plus leaving it around can make your home stinky! If you want to reduce your household's stress, help out by keeping the whole family's clothing clean. With some careful planning, you can easily fit it into your day. You can even get the kids to help you fold!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have a schedule.\", \"描述\": \"You are like a general and your family are your troops. You have to keep everything running smoothly! Create schedules for cleaning and how you'll get through your days, in order to help everything run better. Scheduling time is a great way to make sure more gets done in your day, since you'll find yourself wasting much less time!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wake up early.\", \"描述\": \"Get a head start on your day to make everything go more smoothly. Oversleeping will only make you more tired anyway. Getting up earlier will make sure you get everyone's lunches made and everyone dressed and ready to go without all the stress and scrambling to find that missing backpack.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Create a healthy environment.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone in your family should come home to a healthy, empowering, uplifting environment. Do your best to make sure that everyone's spiritual and emotional needs are being met, including your own, to make your home the best home it can be.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintaining Your Relationship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discuss expectations with your partner.\", \"描述\": \"Discuss realistic expectations, and how to meet them as best as you can. Do not presume that you have the same expectations because you may find out the hard way (through arguments) that you don't. Sit down and talk it over.\\nThe definition of a good housewife depends on which house you live in. It is also very culture-dependent.\\nWhat are the things your partner is hoping you will keep up with in the home? What are their responsibilities in the home? If you are primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, your partner may take responsibility for cleaning up after him or herself: putting dirty laundry in the hamper, putting dishes in the dishwasher, etc.\\nIf you are also caring for young children or special needs children or adults during the day, you may be surprised by how difficult it is to also keep up with household tasks. Your partner may need to help significantly with the cooking and cleaning, if possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain a respectable appearance.\", \"描述\": \"It is all too easy to stop paying attention to your appearance when you are a busy housewife but maintaining attraction is a key element of a long-term relationship. While it was important to keep a good appearance during dating/courtship, it is even more important in a married relationship, or any committed relationship. Make sure you're bathing regularly and wearing clean clothes. This is really about showing your partner that you still respect yourself....and you should respect yourself enough to take care of yourself!\\nIf your partner often tells you they like it when you wear a certain garment or outfit, by all means, take the hint.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Treat your partner as a partner, like an adult, not a child.\", \"描述\": \"It is important for your partner to still have control over their personal situations, like choosing their hobbies, their meals, their clothes, etc. When you are home a lot, it can be easy to want to take control of everything your partner does in the home, but this may not be their preference. It's all right if you want to give your input in a polite way, and of course fine if they asked you. Otherwise, let them have space, just as you want yours. You are two separate human beings, always remember that.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen\", \"描述\": \"A good partner listens to what her spouse has to say without interrupting. Show empathy and learn how to have great conversations. The key idea is that to be a good conversationalist, you should strive to listen more and talk less, by engaging the other person to talk more about his interests. That is the mark of humility, respect, selflessness, and generosity.\\nThis will also set a good example and they should also listen to you more!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find a balance in arguments.\", \"描述\": \"Husbands are not tyrannic creatures: if you find a balance in arguments, and take turns to speak, things will surely improve. Just remember to respect each other, and things will go much better.\\nSome arguing is normal. Don't worry if this happens. You are different people and you will disagree sometimes! Just handle the arguments in a healthy way and everything will be okay.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Love\", \"描述\": \"Don't criticize him in a constructive or cruel way. Whatever your image of the 'ideal' man may be, everyone is unique in his own ways, so try to respect that. Before you try to improve others, try to improve yourself first. If you find things disagreeable about him, let him know in a mature, sensible and loving way: chances are that he will agree on some things and/or explain others, plus it will build trust between both of you and save unnecessary conflicts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Going the Extra Mile\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make intimacy a priority\", \"描述\": \"A healthy sexual relationship is extremely important for relationships to succeed long term. This does not necessarily mean having a lot of sex, but instead means that both partners should be satisfied with the amount and quality. Talk out your expectations and become a better lover if you can. It never hurts, and will only help to learn more about the sexual side of marriage.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be considerate of your spouse's needs.\", \"描述\": \"People need space and alone time every now and again. While you have time to yourself during the day (while the kids are at school or asleep), your husband doesn't have that and may need some alone time to unwind when he comes home from a hard day at work. Be available to spend time with him and comfort him, but if he wants to spend time alone or with his friends and not you, take a step back and let him have his way.\\nHelp him unwind more by welcoming him home with a big smile and allowing him to relax. Have his favorite meal and drink ready, and let him relax after a tough day of work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set up activities for your kids.\", \"描述\": \"Set up fun, educational activities for your kids or for the whole family. You can do some research and then do a guided tour of a museum, or you can go on a hike and teach everyone about the natural features you encounter.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be a great hostess.\", \"描述\": \"Show everyone you know all of the hard work you do by hosting block parties or holiday parties every now and again. Make some great food, decorate your home, and set up fun activities. This will let everyone bond and have a great time!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Create the perfect atmosphere.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to go above and beyond, take your home decorating skills up a notch and try to get that magazine look in your own home. This will give you and your husband something to be proud of, as well as creating a great environment for your kids.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get your husband out of the house.\", \"描述\": \"Help your husband arrange activities for himself, like a fantasy football group or a bowling night. This will help him unwind. A happy husband makes for a much less stressed wife. Let him choose his own activities, of course, but make sure he knows that you think it's healthy for him to get out of the house sometimes. Not everything is about work!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Spirit Up\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get out of the house regularly.\", \"描述\": \"It is easy to get caught up in your work and barely leave the house all day. This is a good recipe for the blues. Find some weekly activities (local libraries are a good place to look) that will get you out of the house at least once a day. If the afternoon rolls around and you realize you have not been out, go for a stroll, hang out at a bookstore or coffee shop for a half hour, or call a buddy and meet for tea.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have friends.\", \"描述\": \"It seems pretty basic, right? But housewives can often get so busy that they forget to make time for their friends and maintain those social relationships. But if you create an environment where your husband is your only friend, you'll find yourself talking his ear off! Spend time with your own friends (by having lunch dates or weekly meetings) to keep everyone happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take up a hobby.\", \"描述\": \"You need to do things that make you happy too. Have something that is just yours and that gives you the opportunity to do something productive or creative that doesn't involve your home. This will give you an important emotional outlet. Try taking up productive hobbies, like sewing or cooking.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider getting more education.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you may not need a degree for your job doesn't mean that you can't get better educated! Learning is fun and will make you feel more productive and self-confident. You don't even have to go to an actual school. You can read a lot of books (find them at your local library!) or you can take online classes for free through websites like Coursera or MIT Opencourseware.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider taking a side job\", \"描述\": \"There are lots of jobs that you can work from home if you have some extra time. This will give you a way to contribute to the household and will also give you something to be proud of! You can open a home daycare or petsit, or even do things like data entry or run a travel agency. There are lots of options!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Let your family take care of you sometimes.\", \"描述\": \"You work hard and your family should occasionally help by bearing some of the load. They will probably want to do this naturally, but you can also have a set-aside one day a month where they do all of the things you do. This will have the added effect of making them appreciate the things you do more.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Live joyfully. Make sure that you create a routine and role for yourself that brings you and your family joy. Being a good housewife is about doing the best you can for the welfare of the entire household, so make it work for you, your partner, and everyone else in the family.\\n\", \"Don't gossip. Gossiping is in bad taste, no matter how fashionable it might look. Talking behind people's backs will make you seem untrustworthy and if your husband finds out he will have every right to question if you have been talking about him behind his back as well. Discussing your problems with a trusted best friend is one thing, but gossiping with your book club is another. Always be respectful, so people will treat you (and your husband!) with respect.\\n\", \"Learn first aid, to help keep your family safe.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,468 |
How to Be a Good Husband
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1. Being a Man of Principle
1-1. Be a gentleman, if your spouse wants you to be.
Many, though not all, people find the idea of a gentleman sweet and endearing. If your spouse is that kind of person, get ready to bust out your most chivalrous self. Think 17th century manners, or thereabouts:
Kiss them hello and goodbye.
Take their heavy shopping bags for them.
Open doors for them.
Pay for dates.
Of course, there's always the chance that they don't want you treating them in a gentlemanly way. If they don't, don't take it personally. Continue being sweet to them, even if you don't give them special treatment.
1-2. Be respectful.
Respect is an act of understanding. Understand that your spouse is an independent, different person, and that they may not want to do the exact same thing as you, even though your interests are usually aligned. Here are four examples of ways you can be respectful of your spouse:
Keep your promises. Do what you say you'll do. If you tell them you're going to do the dishes, don't wimp out and then make excuses while they take over your responsibility.
Be on time. If you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time — say, pick up your kid at daycare — be there. Your spouse's time is just as valuable as yours. Respect it.
Stop assuming. Don't just assume that they'll do something because they're your spouse. Establish good lines of communication instead. Learn how to ask for a favor.
Listen to what they're saying. Don't pretend to listen — actually listen. Sometimes, the only thing we want is a good listener or a shoulder to lean on. Let them talk and be absorbed in what they're saying.
1-3. Never lie.
Get in the habit of telling the truth. Ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your spouse was keeping anything but a birthday secret from you. Always tell them where you are going if they want to know. Tell them who you are with. Tell them what your motivations are, even if you think they're petty. Being open and never lying establishes great verbal communication, which is at the heart of all great relationships.
1-4. Never cheat.
It goes without saying, but it must be mentioned. Cheating is a form of lying. You wouldn't be very accepting of your spouse having an affair, so why would you? If you're having an affair, take a good, hard look at your life and ask yourself why you're married to the person you're married to.
If you love your spouse but lust after someone else, realize how unfair the situation is. You want the comfort of your spouse, but you're not willing to be exclusive and honest with them. This is selfish behavior at its most basic. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.
If you no longer love your spouse, then why are you still married to them? Both of you would probably be much better off if you were given the opportunity to find someone you truly loved, or someone who loved you back. Think about it.
1-5. Minimize laziness.
Laziness is a major turnoff, and a bad habit to boot. Laziness isn't necessarily watching football on Sunday; laziness is not doing something you know you should or want to do, but can't bring yourself to. So take the garbage out, surprise them once a week by cleaning the house, or exercise to show them you have self-worth. Sometimes doing just one more little thing will make your spouse all the happier. It makes a big difference.
1-6. Try not to be selfish.
We could debate for hours how selfish humans are, but one thing seems clear: though we are selfish, we have the capacity to be selfless. Love should inspire that selflessness. Instead of always asking what you can do for yourself, start asking what you can do for your spouse, or what you can do for the benefit of your marriage.
Minimize jealousy. You may get a little jealous from time to time, and that's okay, as long as you try to not let it affect your spouse's happiness. (It's probably a good sign if you're jealous.) That's because jealousy can be very selfish. Never keep your spouse from doing something just because you're jealous.
Compromise. Learn how to reach the middle ground. Often, what you want and what your spouse wants will be totally different. In these cases, adjust your expectations. Don't expect to always get exactly your share or to "win" the argument.
1-7. Never raise your voice, yell at, or physically abuse them.
Your spouse trusts you to look after their comfort and safety. Don't set a bad example and let your emotions get the better of you.
Control your tone, if possible, in an argument:
"I'm worried that we're not sticking to our budget. I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just looking out for our long-term happiness and I wanted to have a discussion with you about ways we could both change our spending habits."
Resist ad hominem, or personal, attacks. The following is a healthy way to argue:
"Oh yeah? You really want to make sure our children get into a good school? Well why don't you talk to your ex-boyfriend the principal? You seem to have a smashing relationship with him."
Never hit, detain, or threaten your spouse with violence. Do not try to use your physical size as an advantage over them. Your spouse could press charges.
2. Showing Affection
2-1. Find little ways to make them feel great.
It's funny because, often, the smallest things find a way to nourish a relationship. Ask yourself, what can I do to make my partner even happier? It doesn't have to be earth-shattering to be effective. It's the thought behind it, and the emotion in it, that's the real gift:
Work on having a better relationship with your in-laws. Few things are more important for your partner than you having a relationship with their parents. You probably don't see your in-laws every day, but that undersells the importance of the goal: ultimately, they want you to love them like you love your parents.
Does your spouse really care about charity? Invest in a microloan in their name, and give it to them as a present. They are now the proud beneficiary of someone else's opportunity.
Do things around the house that they normally don't enjoy. If your spouse hates doing the dishes, for example, make them a little "get out dishes free" card, good for a week without dish-duty.
2-2. Be open.
It might seem weird, but being open with your spouse is indeed a sign of affection: it shows them that you trust them and, more importantly, that you enjoy being intimate with them emotionally. Being open will reassure them that you're taking that step for them.
2-3. Show them that you love them.
Why did you marry them in the first place? Express to them why you love and how they make you feel everyday. Do this often. It will lead to good habits, promote more love and affection in your marriage, and reduce amounts of stress.
Write a short handwritten letter. Put it underneath their pillow; as you kiss them goodbye in the morning, tell them to check underneath the pillow. The note could say something like: "Every day I'm with you, I learn even more about how impossibly lucky I am. I love you."
Come up behind them when they know that you're in the same room and give them a heartfelt kiss on the neck while wrapping your arms around them. It'll make their heart melt.
Make your own romantic fortune cookie. Find a way to slip a personalized fortune into a fortune cookie your spouse breaks open. Have it read something like: "Only you can make my heart crumble...."
2-4. Be supportive.
Support them in their honest endeavors. Whether it's supporting them when they want to take Latin dance classes or when they want go out with friends, your support makes them feel safe and lets them take calculated risks. When they have nothing else to fall back on, they know that they can count on you to be their rock, their muse, their lighthouse.
When your spouse is feeling down, find a way to cheer them up. Bring them breakfast in bed, massage their feet, or rent their favorite movie. Again, small things can have big meanings.
2-5. Put the "man" back in romance.
It may not be the first thing that you think of when you wake up in the morning, but romance is essential to a healthy marriage. Don't just assume that because you're married, you don't have to try to be romantic with your spouse anymore. Not only is that thought misguided — what if your spouse decided that they didn't have to watch their weight once married? — it also takes some of the fun out of marriage. So be a man and do the manly thing. Be romantic.
Do date nights at least once a month. Some couples manage to find the time to go on dates every week, but once a month is sufficient. Plan a date that evokes a great date you went on earlier in your courtship, or plan a date that gets the blood pumping again: skydiving, whale watching, or a movie, to name a few.
Celebrate your anniversary. Your anniversary is really important to your spouse, and it should be to you too. It has symbolic meaning in addition to providing an opportunity to renew your love. Forgetting your anniversary is a big no-no. At the very least, have a dinner planned and a bottle of wine chilled.
Keep intimate relations in bed strong. Don't let things dry up in bed, or take things for granted. Seek to please your spouse as much as they please you, and keep exploring their and your own sexuality through one another.
3. Putting it All Together
3-1. Trust them completely.
A lot of the things mentioned in this tutorial revolve around trust. If you don't trust your partner, you're probably living in a pretty miserable place. Learn to trust your spouse in the same way that you want them to trust in you.
3-2. Reveal your personality.
Marriage is an enduring opportunity to get to know somebody better and better over many, many years. If you keep an aspect of your personality secret or just closed off, you're probably not getting all that you want out of your marriage. It really does go to show: you get what you give.
Have long conversations; make them laugh; share interests, hobbies and occupations; take them somewhere that has personal significance to you; encourage them to get to know your extended family (and do the same for theirs); engage in debate; share fears, doubts, and vulnerabilities; be who you are, not who you think they want you to be.
3-3. Remember the golden rule.
The golden rule is not only important to our idea of morality, it also helps us navigate the sometimes stormy waters of a marriage. The golden rule is that you do unto others as you would have them do to you. All this means is "put yourself in their shoes" before you act.
Of course, you need to have the right sort of perspective if you're going to use the golden rule, and you can't lie to yourself about what other people want. If you're unsure about something, ask yourself "What would I want to happen if I were in my partner's position?" This is generally a good exercise for you to engage in.
3-4. Share your religion with your spouse, if you are religious.
Draw on your faith for strength, and actively seek meaning with your partner on your life's journey. Give yourself to your spouse as much as you give to your god. Maintain your values throughout.
3-5. Take pride in your appearance.
Of course, the most important for last: practice good hygiene, look sharp as a tac — inside and outside of the house — and make sure you keep up the same general level of cleanliness that your spouse does. If you care about how well your spouse dresses and how often they brush their teeth, they're sure to care about the same things. And that's the way it should be between two people who love each other, shouldn't it?
Tips
Protect and defend them like they are your purest joy alive!
Commit time and effort to them.
Trust them!
Warnings
Men can be in unhealthy marriages or be abused, too. If your marriage seems unhealthy, seek marriage counseling.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being a Man of Principle\\n1-1. Be a gentleman, if your spouse wants you to be.\\nMany, though not all, people find the idea of a gentleman sweet and endearing. If your spouse is that kind of person, get ready to bust out your most chivalrous self. Think 17th century manners, or thereabouts:\\nKiss them hello and goodbye.\\nTake their heavy shopping bags for them.\\nOpen doors for them.\\nPay for dates.\\nOf course, there's always the chance that they don't want you treating them in a gentlemanly way. If they don't, don't take it personally. Continue being sweet to them, even if you don't give them special treatment.\\n1-2. Be respectful.\\nRespect is an act of understanding. Understand that your spouse is an independent, different person, and that they may not want to do the exact same thing as you, even though your interests are usually aligned. Here are four examples of ways you can be respectful of your spouse:\\nKeep your promises. Do what you say you'll do. If you tell them you're going to do the dishes, don't wimp out and then make excuses while they take over your responsibility.\\nBe on time. If you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time — say, pick up your kid at daycare — be there. Your spouse's time is just as valuable as yours. Respect it.\\nStop assuming. Don't just assume that they'll do something because they're your spouse. Establish good lines of communication instead. Learn how to ask for a favor.\\nListen to what they're saying. Don't pretend to listen — actually listen. Sometimes, the only thing we want is a good listener or a shoulder to lean on. Let them talk and be absorbed in what they're saying.\\n1-3. Never lie.\\nGet in the habit of telling the truth. Ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your spouse was keeping anything but a birthday secret from you. Always tell them where you are going if they want to know. Tell them who you are with. Tell them what your motivations are, even if you think they're petty. Being open and never lying establishes great verbal communication, which is at the heart of all great relationships.\\n1-4. Never cheat.\\nIt goes without saying, but it must be mentioned. Cheating is a form of lying. You wouldn't be very accepting of your spouse having an affair, so why would you? If you're having an affair, take a good, hard look at your life and ask yourself why you're married to the person you're married to.\\nIf you love your spouse but lust after someone else, realize how unfair the situation is. You want the comfort of your spouse, but you're not willing to be exclusive and honest with them. This is selfish behavior at its most basic. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.\\nIf you no longer love your spouse, then why are you still married to them? Both of you would probably be much better off if you were given the opportunity to find someone you truly loved, or someone who loved you back. Think about it.\\n1-5. Minimize laziness.\\nLaziness is a major turnoff, and a bad habit to boot. Laziness isn't necessarily watching football on Sunday; laziness is not doing something you know you should or want to do, but can't bring yourself to. So take the garbage out, surprise them once a week by cleaning the house, or exercise to show them you have self-worth. Sometimes doing just one more little thing will make your spouse all the happier. It makes a big difference.\\n1-6. Try not to be selfish.\\nWe could debate for hours how selfish humans are, but one thing seems clear: though we are selfish, we have the capacity to be selfless. Love should inspire that selflessness. Instead of always asking what you can do for yourself, start asking what you can do for your spouse, or what you can do for the benefit of your marriage.\\nMinimize jealousy. You may get a little jealous from time to time, and that's okay, as long as you try to not let it affect your spouse's happiness. (It's probably a good sign if you're jealous.) That's because jealousy can be very selfish. Never keep your spouse from doing something just because you're jealous.\\nCompromise. Learn how to reach the middle ground. Often, what you want and what your spouse wants will be totally different. In these cases, adjust your expectations. Don't expect to always get exactly your share or to \\\"win\\\" the argument.\\n1-7. Never raise your voice, yell at, or physically abuse them.\\nYour spouse trusts you to look after their comfort and safety. Don't set a bad example and let your emotions get the better of you.\\nControl your tone, if possible, in an argument:\\n\\\"I'm worried that we're not sticking to our budget. I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just looking out for our long-term happiness and I wanted to have a discussion with you about ways we could both change our spending habits.\\\"\\nResist ad hominem, or personal, attacks. The following is a healthy way to argue:\\n\\\"Oh yeah? You really want to make sure our children get into a good school? Well why don't you talk to your ex-boyfriend the principal? You seem to have a smashing relationship with him.\\\"\\nNever hit, detain, or threaten your spouse with violence. Do not try to use your physical size as an advantage over them. Your spouse could press charges.\\n2. Showing Affection\\n2-1. Find little ways to make them feel great.\\nIt's funny because, often, the smallest things find a way to nourish a relationship. Ask yourself, what can I do to make my partner even happier? It doesn't have to be earth-shattering to be effective. It's the thought behind it, and the emotion in it, that's the real gift:\\nWork on having a better relationship with your in-laws. Few things are more important for your partner than you having a relationship with their parents. You probably don't see your in-laws every day, but that undersells the importance of the goal: ultimately, they want you to love them like you love your parents.\\nDoes your spouse really care about charity? Invest in a microloan in their name, and give it to them as a present. They are now the proud beneficiary of someone else's opportunity.\\nDo things around the house that they normally don't enjoy. If your spouse hates doing the dishes, for example, make them a little \\\"get out dishes free\\\" card, good for a week without dish-duty.\\n2-2. Be open.\\nIt might seem weird, but being open with your spouse is indeed a sign of affection: it shows them that you trust them and, more importantly, that you enjoy being intimate with them emotionally. Being open will reassure them that you're taking that step for them.\\n2-3. Show them that you love them.\\nWhy did you marry them in the first place? Express to them why you love and how they make you feel everyday. Do this often. It will lead to good habits, promote more love and affection in your marriage, and reduce amounts of stress.\\nWrite a short handwritten letter. Put it underneath their pillow; as you kiss them goodbye in the morning, tell them to check underneath the pillow. The note could say something like: \\\"Every day I'm with you, I learn even more about how impossibly lucky I am. I love you.\\\"\\nCome up behind them when they know that you're in the same room and give them a heartfelt kiss on the neck while wrapping your arms around them. It'll make their heart melt.\\nMake your own romantic fortune cookie. Find a way to slip a personalized fortune into a fortune cookie your spouse breaks open. Have it read something like: \\\"Only you can make my heart crumble....\\\"\\n2-4. Be supportive.\\nSupport them in their honest endeavors. Whether it's supporting them when they want to take Latin dance classes or when they want go out with friends, your support makes them feel safe and lets them take calculated risks. When they have nothing else to fall back on, they know that they can count on you to be their rock, their muse, their lighthouse.\\nWhen your spouse is feeling down, find a way to cheer them up. Bring them breakfast in bed, massage their feet, or rent their favorite movie. Again, small things can have big meanings.\\n2-5. Put the \\\"man\\\" back in romance.\\nIt may not be the first thing that you think of when you wake up in the morning, but romance is essential to a healthy marriage. Don't just assume that because you're married, you don't have to try to be romantic with your spouse anymore. Not only is that thought misguided — what if your spouse decided that they didn't have to watch their weight once married? — it also takes some of the fun out of marriage. So be a man and do the manly thing. Be romantic.\\nDo date nights at least once a month. Some couples manage to find the time to go on dates every week, but once a month is sufficient. Plan a date that evokes a great date you went on earlier in your courtship, or plan a date that gets the blood pumping again: skydiving, whale watching, or a movie, to name a few.\\nCelebrate your anniversary. Your anniversary is really important to your spouse, and it should be to you too. It has symbolic meaning in addition to providing an opportunity to renew your love. Forgetting your anniversary is a big no-no. At the very least, have a dinner planned and a bottle of wine chilled.\\nKeep intimate relations in bed strong. Don't let things dry up in bed, or take things for granted. Seek to please your spouse as much as they please you, and keep exploring their and your own sexuality through one another.\\n3. Putting it All Together\\n3-1. Trust them completely.\\nA lot of the things mentioned in this tutorial revolve around trust. If you don't trust your partner, you're probably living in a pretty miserable place. Learn to trust your spouse in the same way that you want them to trust in you.\\n3-2. Reveal your personality.\\nMarriage is an enduring opportunity to get to know somebody better and better over many, many years. If you keep an aspect of your personality secret or just closed off, you're probably not getting all that you want out of your marriage. It really does go to show: you get what you give.\\nHave long conversations; make them laugh; share interests, hobbies and occupations; take them somewhere that has personal significance to you; encourage them to get to know your extended family (and do the same for theirs); engage in debate; share fears, doubts, and vulnerabilities; be who you are, not who you think they want you to be.\\n3-3. Remember the golden rule.\\nThe golden rule is not only important to our idea of morality, it also helps us navigate the sometimes stormy waters of a marriage. The golden rule is that you do unto others as you would have them do to you. All this means is \\\"put yourself in their shoes\\\" before you act.\\nOf course, you need to have the right sort of perspective if you're going to use the golden rule, and you can't lie to yourself about what other people want. If you're unsure about something, ask yourself \\\"What would I want to happen if I were in my partner's position?\\\" This is generally a good exercise for you to engage in.\\n3-4. Share your religion with your spouse, if you are religious.\\nDraw on your faith for strength, and actively seek meaning with your partner on your life's journey. Give yourself to your spouse as much as you give to your god. Maintain your values throughout.\\n3-5. Take pride in your appearance.\\nOf course, the most important for last: practice good hygiene, look sharp as a tac — inside and outside of the house — and make sure you keep up the same general level of cleanliness that your spouse does. If you care about how well your spouse dresses and how often they brush their teeth, they're sure to care about the same things. And that's the way it should be between two people who love each other, shouldn't it?\\nTips\\nProtect and defend them like they are your purest joy alive!\\nCommit time and effort to them.\\nTrust them!\\nWarnings\\nMen can be in unhealthy marriages or be abused, too. If your marriage seems unhealthy, seek marriage counseling.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"So you got married and became a man of vows. All those promises you made to your spouse really mean something now, so it's time to start walking the walk. Fortunately, being a good husband isn't impossible. It's about following your heart, your conscience, and acting on your love for your spouse. These simple steps, if taken seriously, can help lead you and your better half to a brighter future.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being a Man of Principle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a gentleman, if your spouse wants you to be.\", \"描述\": \"Many, though not all, people find the idea of a gentleman sweet and endearing. If your spouse is that kind of person, get ready to bust out your most chivalrous self. Think 17th century manners, or thereabouts:\\nKiss them hello and goodbye.\\nTake their heavy shopping bags for them.\\nOpen doors for them.\\nPay for dates.\\nOf course, there's always the chance that they don't want you treating them in a gentlemanly way. If they don't, don't take it personally. Continue being sweet to them, even if you don't give them special treatment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"Respect is an act of understanding. Understand that your spouse is an independent, different person, and that they may not want to do the exact same thing as you, even though your interests are usually aligned. Here are four examples of ways you can be respectful of your spouse:\\nKeep your promises. Do what you say you'll do. If you tell them you're going to do the dishes, don't wimp out and then make excuses while they take over your responsibility.\\nBe on time. If you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time — say, pick up your kid at daycare — be there. Your spouse's time is just as valuable as yours. Respect it.\\nStop assuming. Don't just assume that they'll do something because they're your spouse. Establish good lines of communication instead. Learn how to ask for a favor.\\nListen to what they're saying. Don't pretend to listen — actually listen. Sometimes, the only thing we want is a good listener or a shoulder to lean on. Let them talk and be absorbed in what they're saying.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Never lie.\", \"描述\": \"Get in the habit of telling the truth. Ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your spouse was keeping anything but a birthday secret from you. Always tell them where you are going if they want to know. Tell them who you are with. Tell them what your motivations are, even if you think they're petty. Being open and never lying establishes great verbal communication, which is at the heart of all great relationships.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Never cheat.\", \"描述\": \"It goes without saying, but it must be mentioned. Cheating is a form of lying. You wouldn't be very accepting of your spouse having an affair, so why would you? If you're having an affair, take a good, hard look at your life and ask yourself why you're married to the person you're married to.\\nIf you love your spouse but lust after someone else, realize how unfair the situation is. You want the comfort of your spouse, but you're not willing to be exclusive and honest with them. This is selfish behavior at its most basic. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.\\nIf you no longer love your spouse, then why are you still married to them? Both of you would probably be much better off if you were given the opportunity to find someone you truly loved, or someone who loved you back. Think about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Minimize laziness.\", \"描述\": \"Laziness is a major turnoff, and a bad habit to boot. Laziness isn't necessarily watching football on Sunday; laziness is not doing something you know you should or want to do, but can't bring yourself to. So take the garbage out, surprise them once a week by cleaning the house, or exercise to show them you have self-worth. Sometimes doing just one more little thing will make your spouse all the happier. It makes a big difference.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Try not to be selfish.\", \"描述\": \"We could debate for hours how selfish humans are, but one thing seems clear: though we are selfish, we have the capacity to be selfless. Love should inspire that selflessness. Instead of always asking what you can do for yourself, start asking what you can do for your spouse, or what you can do for the benefit of your marriage.\\nMinimize jealousy. You may get a little jealous from time to time, and that's okay, as long as you try to not let it affect your spouse's happiness. (It's probably a good sign if you're jealous.) That's because jealousy can be very selfish. Never keep your spouse from doing something just because you're jealous.\\nCompromise. Learn how to reach the middle ground. Often, what you want and what your spouse wants will be totally different. In these cases, adjust your expectations. Don't expect to always get exactly your share or to \\\"win\\\" the argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Never raise your voice, yell at, or physically abuse them.\", \"描述\": \"Your spouse trusts you to look after their comfort and safety. Don't set a bad example and let your emotions get the better of you.\\nControl your tone, if possible, in an argument:\\n\\\"I'm worried that we're not sticking to our budget. I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just looking out for our long-term happiness and I wanted to have a discussion with you about ways we could both change our spending habits.\\\"\\nResist ad hominem, or personal, attacks. The following is a healthy way to argue:\\n\\\"Oh yeah? You really want to make sure our children get into a good school? Well why don't you talk to your ex-boyfriend the principal? You seem to have a smashing relationship with him.\\\"\\nNever hit, detain, or threaten your spouse with violence. Do not try to use your physical size as an advantage over them. Your spouse could press charges.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Affection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find little ways to make them feel great.\", \"描述\": \"It's funny because, often, the smallest things find a way to nourish a relationship. Ask yourself, what can I do to make my partner even happier? It doesn't have to be earth-shattering to be effective. It's the thought behind it, and the emotion in it, that's the real gift:\\nWork on having a better relationship with your in-laws. Few things are more important for your partner than you having a relationship with their parents. You probably don't see your in-laws every day, but that undersells the importance of the goal: ultimately, they want you to love them like you love your parents.\\nDoes your spouse really care about charity? Invest in a microloan in their name, and give it to them as a present. They are now the proud beneficiary of someone else's opportunity.\\nDo things around the house that they normally don't enjoy. If your spouse hates doing the dishes, for example, make them a little \\\"get out dishes free\\\" card, good for a week without dish-duty.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be open.\", \"描述\": \"It might seem weird, but being open with your spouse is indeed a sign of affection: it shows them that you trust them and, more importantly, that you enjoy being intimate with them emotionally. Being open will reassure them that you're taking that step for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show them that you love them.\", \"描述\": \"Why did you marry them in the first place? Express to them why you love and how they make you feel everyday. Do this often. It will lead to good habits, promote more love and affection in your marriage, and reduce amounts of stress.\\nWrite a short handwritten letter. Put it underneath their pillow; as you kiss them goodbye in the morning, tell them to check underneath the pillow. The note could say something like: \\\"Every day I'm with you, I learn even more about how impossibly lucky I am. I love you.\\\"\\nCome up behind them when they know that you're in the same room and give them a heartfelt kiss on the neck while wrapping your arms around them. It'll make their heart melt.\\nMake your own romantic fortune cookie. Find a way to slip a personalized fortune into a fortune cookie your spouse breaks open. Have it read something like: \\\"Only you can make my heart crumble....\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be supportive.\", \"描述\": \"Support them in their honest endeavors. Whether it's supporting them when they want to take Latin dance classes or when they want go out with friends, your support makes them feel safe and lets them take calculated risks. When they have nothing else to fall back on, they know that they can count on you to be their rock, their muse, their lighthouse.\\nWhen your spouse is feeling down, find a way to cheer them up. Bring them breakfast in bed, massage their feet, or rent their favorite movie. Again, small things can have big meanings.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Put the \\\"man\\\" back in romance.\", \"描述\": \"It may not be the first thing that you think of when you wake up in the morning, but romance is essential to a healthy marriage. Don't just assume that because you're married, you don't have to try to be romantic with your spouse anymore. Not only is that thought misguided — what if your spouse decided that they didn't have to watch their weight once married? — it also takes some of the fun out of marriage. So be a man and do the manly thing. Be romantic.\\nDo date nights at least once a month. Some couples manage to find the time to go on dates every week, but once a month is sufficient. Plan a date that evokes a great date you went on earlier in your courtship, or plan a date that gets the blood pumping again: skydiving, whale watching, or a movie, to name a few.\\nCelebrate your anniversary. Your anniversary is really important to your spouse, and it should be to you too. It has symbolic meaning in addition to providing an opportunity to renew your love. Forgetting your anniversary is a big no-no. At the very least, have a dinner planned and a bottle of wine chilled.\\nKeep intimate relations in bed strong. Don't let things dry up in bed, or take things for granted. Seek to please your spouse as much as they please you, and keep exploring their and your own sexuality through one another.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Putting it All Together\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Trust them completely.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of the things mentioned in this tutorial revolve around trust. If you don't trust your partner, you're probably living in a pretty miserable place. Learn to trust your spouse in the same way that you want them to trust in you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reveal your personality.\", \"描述\": \"Marriage is an enduring opportunity to get to know somebody better and better over many, many years. If you keep an aspect of your personality secret or just closed off, you're probably not getting all that you want out of your marriage. It really does go to show: you get what you give.\\nHave long conversations; make them laugh; share interests, hobbies and occupations; take them somewhere that has personal significance to you; encourage them to get to know your extended family (and do the same for theirs); engage in debate; share fears, doubts, and vulnerabilities; be who you are, not who you think they want you to be.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remember the golden rule.\", \"描述\": \"The golden rule is not only important to our idea of morality, it also helps us navigate the sometimes stormy waters of a marriage. The golden rule is that you do unto others as you would have them do to you. All this means is \\\"put yourself in their shoes\\\" before you act.\\nOf course, you need to have the right sort of perspective if you're going to use the golden rule, and you can't lie to yourself about what other people want. If you're unsure about something, ask yourself \\\"What would I want to happen if I were in my partner's position?\\\" This is generally a good exercise for you to engage in.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Share your religion with your spouse, if you are religious.\", \"描述\": \"Draw on your faith for strength, and actively seek meaning with your partner on your life's journey. Give yourself to your spouse as much as you give to your god. Maintain your values throughout.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take pride in your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Of course, the most important for last: practice good hygiene, look sharp as a tac — inside and outside of the house — and make sure you keep up the same general level of cleanliness that your spouse does. If you care about how well your spouse dresses and how often they brush their teeth, they're sure to care about the same things. And that's the way it should be between two people who love each other, shouldn't it?\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Protect and defend them like they are your purest joy alive!\\n\", \"Commit time and effort to them.\\n\", \"Trust them!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Men can be in unhealthy marriages or be abused, too. If your marriage seems unhealthy, seek marriage counseling.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,469 |
How to Be a Good Husband and Father
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1. Being Thoughtful
1-1. Be there when it matters.
Some moments may really stand out in your family, such as when your spouse gets passed up for a big promotion or the moment your young child learns to bike without training wheels. As a spouse and a parent, you won’t be able to be there for every single moment in their lives, but try to be there when it matters most.
Avoid missing out on important sporting events, recitals, anniversaries or birthdays whenever possible. If you know it’s important to your spouse or kids, try your best to make it. If you can’t, let them know how upset you are to miss it and be sure you’re there next time.
1-2. Show interest in your spouse and kids.
It’s common for many families to fall into a ho-hum pattern of only discussing things like the kids’ grades, bills, household repairs, and who’s picking up whom from sports practice. Strike a new chord when communicating with your spouse and kids by adding some new topics to the conversation.
If you never ask your spouse about their day job, ask “So, how’s that big project coming along at work?”
If you never inquire about your children's friends, you might say “How’s Rebecca adjusting to the new school?”
Changing up the way you talk helps show your family that you’re interested in them and what’s important to them.
1-3. Be a role model and practice what you preach.
Don’t expect your children to follow your advice if your own behavior goes against it. Hold yourself accountable for meeting the same standards that you set for your kids.
For instance, don’t lie in front of your kids--even little fibs--if you are emphasizing the importance of honesty.
If helping out is a big deal in your family, be the first to pitch in with chores or household responsibilities.
1-4. Date your spouse.
When’s the last time you took your spouse out on a date? When were you last romantic and spontaneous? If it’s been a while, commit to dating your spouse more often. Compare schedules and agree on dates and times when the two of you will go out together sans kids.
Dating your spouse also refers to behaviors you did when you were dating. For example, maybe you made them breakfast in bed or regularly purchased a bouquet of flowers to surprise them. Pick those romantic habits back up and watch how your marriage transforms.
2. Having Good Communication
2-1. Encourage open and honest communication.
The best husbands and fathers regularly talk to and listen to their spouse and children. When your family feels like you actively make time to hear them out, they will be more forthcoming with communication. Good communication starts early on, so try to implement positive practices as soon as possible.
Power off your phone or mute the TV and turn to face your loved one when they are talking.
Let your loved ones know that you are interested in talking to them by making yourself available and paying attention when they’re around.
Ask open-ended questions to show your interest, like “So what do you like most about this TV show?”
2-2. Be an active listener.
Many husbands can probably admit to tuning out their spouse and kids every now and then. So, you could probably benefit from freshening up your listening skills. Practice devoting your full attention to your loved ones when they're talking—this one tip could benefit your entire family.
Turn to face the person who's talking and make regular eye contact. Nod or encourage them to share.
Before you rush to the next subject or end the discussion, sum up what was said to show you were actually listening. Say something like “It seems like work has you stressed out. Am I right?”
2-3. Avoid judging or criticizing.
A common barrier for effective communication is jumping in with judgments or criticisms. When you do this, your spouse and kids put up walls and are hesitant to talk to you. Instead of judging or criticizing, ask more questions that help you better understand their perspectives.
For instance, don’t ask “Why would you do that?,” ask “What happened?” Or, say something like, "Hmm...Tell me more about that."
2-4. Use meal times for conversation.
Meals are a special way for families to come together. Eating meals together promotes bonding and fosters communication. Dedicate this time for catching up on one another's days or discussing important issues.
Take turns going around the table having everyone share the "peaks and pits" (highs and lows) of their day.
Take advantage of everyone's presence to share family values or broach difficult subjects with your children, such as bullying.
2-5. Be a team player.
Your behavior should reflect the notion that you and your spouse are on the same team. This covers basically everything from splitting household and parenting duties to backing up your spouse when they discipline the children.
If you aren’t currently being a team player, you might ask your spouse, “What can I do to be a team player?”
Being a team player helps you to support your spouse, but it will also reduce conflict between you and minimize the kids’ chances of undermining either of you.
3. Spending Time with Your Family
3-1. Carve out regular quality time for your family.
Good husbands and dads have a strong bond with their family, so be intentional about spending time with your spouse and kids as a group and one-on-one. Schedule in bonding time throughout the week.
You might start a new tradition of playing games or watching movies every Saturday night for group bonding time.
For individual time, try sharing a hobby with your kids, such as tossing around a ball with one child or listening to another child practice the violin. Rise early to share a cup of coffee and enjoy the sunrise with your spouse before the kids wake.
3-2. Embrace other family ties.
As a husband and a father, you can help your family build strong values by emphasizing the importance of family ties. Whenever possible, try to get your own family and in-laws over for a meal or involve them in your kids' upbringing.
Plan a regular family outing or gathering, such as Sunday brunch.
Ask your family and in-laws for parenting advice and invite them to parties and sporting events for your children.
3-3. Cherish old traditions and build new ones.
Good family values also include observing religious holidays, cultural rituals, and family traditions. This might include celebrating Hanukkah, attending church services, praying, or exchanging gifts on Christmas. Show respect to existing family beliefs and traditions and create new ones that are distinct to your family unit.
If you and your spouse have the same views, share those beliefs with your children. If your views differ, find a happy medium so that your children have an understanding of both your backgrounds and beliefs. You can also try blending or alternating celebrations from both traditions.
3-4. Unplug regularly to focus on your face-to-face relationships.
If you’re the type to immediately turn on the TV or laptop after a long day at work, try powering off the electronics for a while. Focusing on sports, TV shows, social media, or even bringing work home could create distance between you and your family. Give them the gift of being physically and mentally present.
If you typically use electronics throughout the evening, create an earlier cut-off time to devote more attention to your spouse and children.
Spend the extra time catching up with your spouse, reading to your kids, or playing board games together.
If you have to do some homework, then let your family know exactly how much time you will need and when you will be available again.
4. Supporting Your Health and Well-Being
4-1. Get enough sleep.
When you’re raising small kids, sleep often gets kicked to the curb. Unfortunately, depriving yourself of sleep can make you grumpy or irritable during family time. Improve your mood and have lots of energy to play with your kids by getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night.
Sleep better by shutting off electronic devices at least an hour before bed. Do soothing activities like light-reading, taking a warm bath, or making love to your spouse.
4-2. Eat a nutrient-rich diet.
Parents often stress the importance of eating healthy to their kids, but you may not be following that advice yourself. Eat well-balanced, nutritious meals to fuel your body so that you can be productive at work and still have energy left over for your family.
Eat a diet rich in vitamins and minerals, including whole foods like fruits and vegetables, lean protein, whole grains, and nuts and seeds. Be sure to drink plenty of water.
Reduce the amount of junk food and processed foods you consume.
4-3. Exercise
Physical activity is one of the best ways to support physical health, live longer, and manage everyday stress. Plus, if you exercise with your spouse and kids, you’ll be modeling healthy habits for your whole family.
Plan a fun night of bowling with your spouse and kids. Or, go for a family bike-ride or hike on weekends.
If your favorite form of exercise is a solo one, such as running, then make sure to also plan some activities that will involve your whole family.
4-4. Manage your stress effectively.
Because children often pick up their parent’s habits, strive to develop healthy ways of handling stress. Instead of turning to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or compulsive shopping, stick to healthy habits like exercise, relaxation techniques, and self-care.
When stress hits, try meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to quell the tension.
Build a self-care routine that allows you to regularly engage in fun, nourishing activities like gardening, getting a haircut, or listening to your favorite music.
4-5. Build a strong support system.
You might be so consumed with your marital, parenting, and work responsibility, that you don't prioritize other social relationships. Take measures to keep an active social life, so that you have healthy outlets for stress.
Join a club or organization relating to your career or a hobby. Participate in a church or civic group in your area. Or, start a Meetup group for dads to gather in your local community.
Your social network is a valuable resource for getting advice and encouragement for being a better husband and father. It can be helpful to talk with other men about your role as a husband and father.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Thoughtful\\n1-1. Be there when it matters.\\nSome moments may really stand out in your family, such as when your spouse gets passed up for a big promotion or the moment your young child learns to bike without training wheels. As a spouse and a parent, you won’t be able to be there for every single moment in their lives, but try to be there when it matters most.\\nAvoid missing out on important sporting events, recitals, anniversaries or birthdays whenever possible. If you know it’s important to your spouse or kids, try your best to make it. If you can’t, let them know how upset you are to miss it and be sure you’re there next time.\\n1-2. Show interest in your spouse and kids.\\nIt’s common for many families to fall into a ho-hum pattern of only discussing things like the kids’ grades, bills, household repairs, and who’s picking up whom from sports practice. Strike a new chord when communicating with your spouse and kids by adding some new topics to the conversation.\\nIf you never ask your spouse about their day job, ask “So, how’s that big project coming along at work?”\\nIf you never inquire about your children's friends, you might say “How’s Rebecca adjusting to the new school?”\\nChanging up the way you talk helps show your family that you’re interested in them and what’s important to them.\\n1-3. Be a role model and practice what you preach.\\nDon’t expect your children to follow your advice if your own behavior goes against it. Hold yourself accountable for meeting the same standards that you set for your kids.\\nFor instance, don’t lie in front of your kids--even little fibs--if you are emphasizing the importance of honesty.\\nIf helping out is a big deal in your family, be the first to pitch in with chores or household responsibilities.\\n1-4. Date your spouse.\\nWhen’s the last time you took your spouse out on a date? When were you last romantic and spontaneous? If it’s been a while, commit to dating your spouse more often. Compare schedules and agree on dates and times when the two of you will go out together sans kids.\\nDating your spouse also refers to behaviors you did when you were dating. For example, maybe you made them breakfast in bed or regularly purchased a bouquet of flowers to surprise them. Pick those romantic habits back up and watch how your marriage transforms.\\n2. Having Good Communication\\n2-1. Encourage open and honest communication.\\nThe best husbands and fathers regularly talk to and listen to their spouse and children. When your family feels like you actively make time to hear them out, they will be more forthcoming with communication. Good communication starts early on, so try to implement positive practices as soon as possible.\\nPower off your phone or mute the TV and turn to face your loved one when they are talking.\\nLet your loved ones know that you are interested in talking to them by making yourself available and paying attention when they’re around.\\nAsk open-ended questions to show your interest, like “So what do you like most about this TV show?”\\n2-2. Be an active listener.\\nMany husbands can probably admit to tuning out their spouse and kids every now and then. So, you could probably benefit from freshening up your listening skills. Practice devoting your full attention to your loved ones when they're talking—this one tip could benefit your entire family.\\nTurn to face the person who's talking and make regular eye contact. Nod or encourage them to share.\\nBefore you rush to the next subject or end the discussion, sum up what was said to show you were actually listening. Say something like “It seems like work has you stressed out. Am I right?”\\n2-3. Avoid judging or criticizing.\\nA common barrier for effective communication is jumping in with judgments or criticisms. When you do this, your spouse and kids put up walls and are hesitant to talk to you. Instead of judging or criticizing, ask more questions that help you better understand their perspectives.\\nFor instance, don’t ask “Why would you do that?,” ask “What happened?” Or, say something like, \\\"Hmm...Tell me more about that.\\\"\\n2-4. Use meal times for conversation.\\nMeals are a special way for families to come together. Eating meals together promotes bonding and fosters communication. Dedicate this time for catching up on one another's days or discussing important issues.\\nTake turns going around the table having everyone share the \\\"peaks and pits\\\" (highs and lows) of their day.\\nTake advantage of everyone's presence to share family values or broach difficult subjects with your children, such as bullying.\\n2-5. Be a team player.\\nYour behavior should reflect the notion that you and your spouse are on the same team. This covers basically everything from splitting household and parenting duties to backing up your spouse when they discipline the children.\\nIf you aren’t currently being a team player, you might ask your spouse, “What can I do to be a team player?”\\nBeing a team player helps you to support your spouse, but it will also reduce conflict between you and minimize the kids’ chances of undermining either of you.\\n3. Spending Time with Your Family\\n3-1. Carve out regular quality time for your family.\\nGood husbands and dads have a strong bond with their family, so be intentional about spending time with your spouse and kids as a group and one-on-one. Schedule in bonding time throughout the week.\\nYou might start a new tradition of playing games or watching movies every Saturday night for group bonding time.\\nFor individual time, try sharing a hobby with your kids, such as tossing around a ball with one child or listening to another child practice the violin. Rise early to share a cup of coffee and enjoy the sunrise with your spouse before the kids wake.\\n3-2. Embrace other family ties.\\nAs a husband and a father, you can help your family build strong values by emphasizing the importance of family ties. Whenever possible, try to get your own family and in-laws over for a meal or involve them in your kids' upbringing.\\nPlan a regular family outing or gathering, such as Sunday brunch.\\nAsk your family and in-laws for parenting advice and invite them to parties and sporting events for your children.\\n3-3. Cherish old traditions and build new ones.\\nGood family values also include observing religious holidays, cultural rituals, and family traditions. This might include celebrating Hanukkah, attending church services, praying, or exchanging gifts on Christmas. Show respect to existing family beliefs and traditions and create new ones that are distinct to your family unit. \\nIf you and your spouse have the same views, share those beliefs with your children. If your views differ, find a happy medium so that your children have an understanding of both your backgrounds and beliefs. You can also try blending or alternating celebrations from both traditions.\\n3-4. Unplug regularly to focus on your face-to-face relationships.\\nIf you’re the type to immediately turn on the TV or laptop after a long day at work, try powering off the electronics for a while. Focusing on sports, TV shows, social media, or even bringing work home could create distance between you and your family. Give them the gift of being physically and mentally present.\\nIf you typically use electronics throughout the evening, create an earlier cut-off time to devote more attention to your spouse and children.\\nSpend the extra time catching up with your spouse, reading to your kids, or playing board games together.\\nIf you have to do some homework, then let your family know exactly how much time you will need and when you will be available again.\\n4. Supporting Your Health and Well-Being\\n4-1. Get enough sleep.\\nWhen you’re raising small kids, sleep often gets kicked to the curb. Unfortunately, depriving yourself of sleep can make you grumpy or irritable during family time. Improve your mood and have lots of energy to play with your kids by getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night.\\n Sleep better by shutting off electronic devices at least an hour before bed. Do soothing activities like light-reading, taking a warm bath, or making love to your spouse.\\n4-2. Eat a nutrient-rich diet.\\nParents often stress the importance of eating healthy to their kids, but you may not be following that advice yourself. Eat well-balanced, nutritious meals to fuel your body so that you can be productive at work and still have energy left over for your family.\\nEat a diet rich in vitamins and minerals, including whole foods like fruits and vegetables, lean protein, whole grains, and nuts and seeds. Be sure to drink plenty of water.\\nReduce the amount of junk food and processed foods you consume.\\n4-3. Exercise\\nPhysical activity is one of the best ways to support physical health, live longer, and manage everyday stress. Plus, if you exercise with your spouse and kids, you’ll be modeling healthy habits for your whole family.\\nPlan a fun night of bowling with your spouse and kids. Or, go for a family bike-ride or hike on weekends.\\nIf your favorite form of exercise is a solo one, such as running, then make sure to also plan some activities that will involve your whole family.\\n4-4. Manage your stress effectively.\\nBecause children often pick up their parent’s habits, strive to develop healthy ways of handling stress. Instead of turning to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or compulsive shopping, stick to healthy habits like exercise, relaxation techniques, and self-care.\\nWhen stress hits, try meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to quell the tension.\\nBuild a self-care routine that allows you to regularly engage in fun, nourishing activities like gardening, getting a haircut, or listening to your favorite music.\\n4-5. Build a strong support system.\\nYou might be so consumed with your marital, parenting, and work responsibility, that you don't prioritize other social relationships. Take measures to keep an active social life, so that you have healthy outlets for stress.\\nJoin a club or organization relating to your career or a hobby. Participate in a church or civic group in your area. Or, start a Meetup group for dads to gather in your local community.\\nYour social network is a valuable resource for getting advice and encouragement for being a better husband and father. It can be helpful to talk with other men about your role as a husband and father.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a husband and a father are perhaps two of the most important roles you may have in your life, so it's completely normal to want to put your best foot forward. Start by showing consideration for your family and learning to communicate with them more effectively. Remember that to take good care of your family, you must take care of yourself, so implement positive lifestyle choices that support your health and well-being, too.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Thoughtful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be there when it matters.\", \"描述\": \"Some moments may really stand out in your family, such as when your spouse gets passed up for a big promotion or the moment your young child learns to bike without training wheels. As a spouse and a parent, you won’t be able to be there for every single moment in their lives, but try to be there when it matters most.\\nAvoid missing out on important sporting events, recitals, anniversaries or birthdays whenever possible. If you know it’s important to your spouse or kids, try your best to make it. If you can’t, let them know how upset you are to miss it and be sure you’re there next time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show interest in your spouse and kids.\", \"描述\": \"It’s common for many families to fall into a ho-hum pattern of only discussing things like the kids’ grades, bills, household repairs, and who’s picking up whom from sports practice. Strike a new chord when communicating with your spouse and kids by adding some new topics to the conversation.\\nIf you never ask your spouse about their day job, ask “So, how’s that big project coming along at work?”\\nIf you never inquire about your children's friends, you might say “How’s Rebecca adjusting to the new school?”\\nChanging up the way you talk helps show your family that you’re interested in them and what’s important to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be a role model and practice what you preach.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t expect your children to follow your advice if your own behavior goes against it. Hold yourself accountable for meeting the same standards that you set for your kids.\\nFor instance, don’t lie in front of your kids--even little fibs--if you are emphasizing the importance of honesty.\\nIf helping out is a big deal in your family, be the first to pitch in with chores or household responsibilities.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Date your spouse.\", \"描述\": \"When’s the last time you took your spouse out on a date? When were you last romantic and spontaneous? If it’s been a while, commit to dating your spouse more often. Compare schedules and agree on dates and times when the two of you will go out together sans kids.\\nDating your spouse also refers to behaviors you did when you were dating. For example, maybe you made them breakfast in bed or regularly purchased a bouquet of flowers to surprise them. Pick those romantic habits back up and watch how your marriage transforms.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having Good Communication\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Encourage open and honest communication.\", \"描述\": \"The best husbands and fathers regularly talk to and listen to their spouse and children. When your family feels like you actively make time to hear them out, they will be more forthcoming with communication. Good communication starts early on, so try to implement positive practices as soon as possible.\\nPower off your phone or mute the TV and turn to face your loved one when they are talking.\\nLet your loved ones know that you are interested in talking to them by making yourself available and paying attention when they’re around.\\nAsk open-ended questions to show your interest, like “So what do you like most about this TV show?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be an active listener.\", \"描述\": \"Many husbands can probably admit to tuning out their spouse and kids every now and then. So, you could probably benefit from freshening up your listening skills. Practice devoting your full attention to your loved ones when they're talking—this one tip could benefit your entire family.\\nTurn to face the person who's talking and make regular eye contact. Nod or encourage them to share.\\nBefore you rush to the next subject or end the discussion, sum up what was said to show you were actually listening. Say something like “It seems like work has you stressed out. Am I right?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid judging or criticizing.\", \"描述\": \"A common barrier for effective communication is jumping in with judgments or criticisms. When you do this, your spouse and kids put up walls and are hesitant to talk to you. Instead of judging or criticizing, ask more questions that help you better understand their perspectives.\\nFor instance, don’t ask “Why would you do that?,” ask “What happened?” Or, say something like, \\\"Hmm...Tell me more about that.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use meal times for conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Meals are a special way for families to come together. Eating meals together promotes bonding and fosters communication. Dedicate this time for catching up on one another's days or discussing important issues.\\nTake turns going around the table having everyone share the \\\"peaks and pits\\\" (highs and lows) of their day.\\nTake advantage of everyone's presence to share family values or broach difficult subjects with your children, such as bullying.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be a team player.\", \"描述\": \"Your behavior should reflect the notion that you and your spouse are on the same team. This covers basically everything from splitting household and parenting duties to backing up your spouse when they discipline the children.\\nIf you aren’t currently being a team player, you might ask your spouse, “What can I do to be a team player?”\\nBeing a team player helps you to support your spouse, but it will also reduce conflict between you and minimize the kids’ chances of undermining either of you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spending Time with Your Family\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Carve out regular quality time for your family.\", \"描述\": \"Good husbands and dads have a strong bond with their family, so be intentional about spending time with your spouse and kids as a group and one-on-one. Schedule in bonding time throughout the week.\\nYou might start a new tradition of playing games or watching movies every Saturday night for group bonding time.\\nFor individual time, try sharing a hobby with your kids, such as tossing around a ball with one child or listening to another child practice the violin. Rise early to share a cup of coffee and enjoy the sunrise with your spouse before the kids wake.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Embrace other family ties.\", \"描述\": \"As a husband and a father, you can help your family build strong values by emphasizing the importance of family ties. Whenever possible, try to get your own family and in-laws over for a meal or involve them in your kids' upbringing.\\nPlan a regular family outing or gathering, such as Sunday brunch.\\nAsk your family and in-laws for parenting advice and invite them to parties and sporting events for your children.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cherish old traditions and build new ones.\", \"描述\": \"Good family values also include observing religious holidays, cultural rituals, and family traditions. This might include celebrating Hanukkah, attending church services, praying, or exchanging gifts on Christmas. Show respect to existing family beliefs and traditions and create new ones that are distinct to your family unit. \\nIf you and your spouse have the same views, share those beliefs with your children. If your views differ, find a happy medium so that your children have an understanding of both your backgrounds and beliefs. You can also try blending or alternating celebrations from both traditions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Unplug regularly to focus on your face-to-face relationships.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re the type to immediately turn on the TV or laptop after a long day at work, try powering off the electronics for a while. Focusing on sports, TV shows, social media, or even bringing work home could create distance between you and your family. Give them the gift of being physically and mentally present.\\nIf you typically use electronics throughout the evening, create an earlier cut-off time to devote more attention to your spouse and children.\\nSpend the extra time catching up with your spouse, reading to your kids, or playing board games together.\\nIf you have to do some homework, then let your family know exactly how much time you will need and when you will be available again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Supporting Your Health and Well-Being\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re raising small kids, sleep often gets kicked to the curb. Unfortunately, depriving yourself of sleep can make you grumpy or irritable during family time. Improve your mood and have lots of energy to play with your kids by getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night.\\n Sleep better by shutting off electronic devices at least an hour before bed. Do soothing activities like light-reading, taking a warm bath, or making love to your spouse.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eat a nutrient-rich diet.\", \"描述\": \"Parents often stress the importance of eating healthy to their kids, but you may not be following that advice yourself. Eat well-balanced, nutritious meals to fuel your body so that you can be productive at work and still have energy left over for your family.\\nEat a diet rich in vitamins and minerals, including whole foods like fruits and vegetables, lean protein, whole grains, and nuts and seeds. Be sure to drink plenty of water.\\nReduce the amount of junk food and processed foods you consume.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exercise\", \"描述\": \"Physical activity is one of the best ways to support physical health, live longer, and manage everyday stress. Plus, if you exercise with your spouse and kids, you’ll be modeling healthy habits for your whole family.\\nPlan a fun night of bowling with your spouse and kids. Or, go for a family bike-ride or hike on weekends.\\nIf your favorite form of exercise is a solo one, such as running, then make sure to also plan some activities that will involve your whole family.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Manage your stress effectively.\", \"描述\": \"Because children often pick up their parent’s habits, strive to develop healthy ways of handling stress. Instead of turning to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or compulsive shopping, stick to healthy habits like exercise, relaxation techniques, and self-care.\\nWhen stress hits, try meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to quell the tension.\\nBuild a self-care routine that allows you to regularly engage in fun, nourishing activities like gardening, getting a haircut, or listening to your favorite music.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Build a strong support system.\", \"描述\": \"You might be so consumed with your marital, parenting, and work responsibility, that you don't prioritize other social relationships. Take measures to keep an active social life, so that you have healthy outlets for stress.\\nJoin a club or organization relating to your career or a hobby. Participate in a church or civic group in your area. Or, start a Meetup group for dads to gather in your local community.\\nYour social network is a valuable resource for getting advice and encouragement for being a better husband and father. It can be helpful to talk with other men about your role as a husband and father.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,470 |
How to Be a Good Leader
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1. Leadership in a Business Environment
1-1. Be a good role model.
To earn respect, it's important to show that you know your stuff. People will respect and listen to you, if they know you are knowledgeable in your field.
Discuss your experience. Without showing off, let your employees understand how long you've been in the business and what you have achieved while you were there. Not only will they have a better understanding of why you're sitting in the boss' chair, but they'll be more excited to be a part of your team and will admire you.
Act professionally. Though you may be the boss, you should still be cordial to all of your employees. You should also still meet the basic standards of professionalism such as; dressing appropriately, coming to work and meetings on time, and communicating in a professional manner.
1-2. Be clear about your rules and expectations.
Whether you're the CEO of a company or the manager of a team of four people, it's important to make your expectations "crystal" clear from the beginning.
Have a Code of Conduct or an Expectation Notice that you can point to which shows employees how to act. Give feedback based on their work, and relate it with your Code of Conduct.
If you're working on a project, your goals and expectations should be clear from the beginning. Then your employees will be more motivated and not confused. It is preferable to have your goals down in written form.
Don't change your instructions in the middle of a project. Though some adjustments in the workplace are necessary, it's important to not only be clear about your expectations, but to also be consistent. If you change your mind about what you want halfway through a meeting, your employees may not take you seriously, or they might be frustrated.
1-3. Leave room for input.
Though it's important to be firm, you should still leave some room for the considerations of others. This way you won't look like a dictator. Also, there's a lot you can learn from your employees, which might help your business thrive.
Ask for feedback. It's important to ask for feedback after you've wrapped up a project, set up guidelines during a meeting, or you have thrown a charity event. You can do this without scaring your employees. Simply ask through email, or send an anonymous survey to them.
Ask for opinions in a face-to-face situations. At the end of a meeting, you can casually ask if people have any questions or opinions. This will give your employees time to consider what they're working on. You may also pull individual employees aside, or invite them to your office, to discuss the project further. Tell them that their perspective is crucial to your success.
1-4. Reward employees for good behavior.
To be a good leader, you need to maintain high team morale, and to motivate employees to achieve their goals in a timely manner. Also, make your rewards desirable and fun!
Give praise regularly highly engaged employees get praise every week from their leader
Have a monthly team dinner to celebrate a completed goal. This will be, not only delicious, but a fun way to bond with your colleagues and to motivate them to achieve goals in a timely manner.
Give individual "shout outs" when necessary. If one of your employees accomplished something incredible, there's no harm in announcing his or her achievements through an email or at a meeting. Though this may make him or her blush, he or she will see that you're paying attention to his or her hard work.
Reward your hard workers with prizes. A prize, whether it's the latest technological gadget or just a pair of free movie tickets, can give your employees the incentive they need to work hard, and will make them think you're a cool boss.
1-5. Be liked.
Though it's important for your workers to respect you most of all, it couldn't hurt for them to think you're a person who is worth spending time with. This will make them more excited to work for you and to have you as their leader! Here are some ways to make sure you are liked:
Admit your mistakes. You aren't perfect, and occasionally showing that you could have planned something differently will show that you are only human and will make people respect you more. Of course, you can avoid always admitting that you've made a mistake, because you want to look like you know what the heck you're doing.
Share the occasional personal story. You don't have to be best friends with your employees, but talking about your family, or your background, can make them open up to you and see you as a person.
Be consistent in your interactions. If you're very friendly during group meetings, but chilly when you pass an employee in the hall, your workers may get mixed signals and may not like you very much. It's important to be cordial at all times--not just during the important ones.
At the same time, don't be too chatty or social with your employees. It's healthy to make friends in the workplace, but if all you're doing is chatting everyone up at the watercooler, people may think you're more focused on gaining approval than being a good leader.
Avoid romantic relationships in the workplace. This almost always ends badly and can lead you to lose everyone's respect, not to mention your job.
2. Leadership in Sports
2-1. Demonstrate good sportsmanship at all times.
Though you may be the captain of your sports team and a star athlete to boot, it's important to be humble and polite.
If you're practicing with members of your own team, offer them encouragement. Instead of showing off and being mean when they make a misstep, show them how to improve their game and compliment them when appropriate.
On game day, it's important to look your opponents in the eye, shake their hands, and to show that you're focused on the game, not whether or not the other team's point guard is a jerk. Even if you feel someone on the other team acted unfairly, take it up with your coach or a ref as the situation dictates, but avoid name calling and foul language.
Lose with dignity. Leaders should be seen as mature - not as crybabies. If the other team kicked your butt, congratulate them without wincing. With your good attitude, you'll get another chance at them.
2-2. Remind your teammates of your skills.
Though it's important not to call too much attention to yourself, don't be afraid to strut your stuff to let people know why you are the captain of your team.
Help your coach demonstrate skills during drills. Your teammates will be impressed by how versatile and helpful you are.
On game day, play your best. Don't slack off just because you're the captain--it's important to work your hardest on the court.
2-3. Show your love for teamwork.
You're still part of a team and should work well with others. You were chosen to be a leader partly because of your ability to work with a diverse group of people.
When you're huddling with your team or giving instructions, make sure to give everyone a chance to participate in the game. If you're dictating plays, don't revolve the entire game around your skills.
Be helpful off the court. Help load equipment into your team bus, take attendance, and offer rides to any straggling team members. This will show that you care about working together on all aspects of the game, even it's just driving the freshman player to school so everyone can be a part of the game.
2-4. Be a good friend to your teammates.
Though you should be respected first of all, being a team captain is more casual than being a boss, and you should make an effort to make friends so you can have fun while working hard.
Be fun at team social events. Make sure to show up to team dinners and other social events first and to leave last. Show that you love being a leader of your team from start to finish. This will help you get to know your fellow players and to deepen your bond.
Be friendly with all members of the team. Don't play favorites, and work to get to know everyone on your team, from the star player to the slowest member on the JV squad. This will show that you care about everyone who makes the team so unique and strong.
2-5. Be a united front with your coach.
Though your teammates may criticize your coach, it's important to avoid this behavior to keep your team strong.
Don't criticize your coach in front of your teammates. Though you may disagree with your coach's actions, you can talk to him about it. Discussing it with your team can make everyone angry, and can make your team fall apart for lack of strong leadership.
Explain that your coach is looking out for your team's best interests. Show your teammates that your coach knows his stuff and should be trusted. This will keep your team strong and will make you look like a fair leader.
3. Leadership in the Classroom
3-1. Show your expertise in the subject matter.
It's important for your students to know that they can trust you as an expert in your field.
When you introduce yourself, tell them how many years you've been working in your field and what you have achieved there. Then they'll know you know your stuff.
Tell them how long you've been teaching your course. If you've been teaching the same course twenty times, let them know, so they have a sense that you've created the best course possible. If you're new to the classroom, however, don't let your students know so they don't see you as a pushover.
3-2. Establish your rules on day one.
Once the introductions are out of the way, it's important to let your students understand your expectations so they can meet them.
Have a well-organized syllabus that shows them exactly what to expect from every day of the course. Answer any questions they have after you go over it, so you can clear up any confusion.
Whether you're teaching children or adults, it's important to have a clear code of conduct, which shows not only your expectations, but the punishments if your students fail to meet them. Common code of conduct rules include showing mutual respect and avoiding disruptive behavior, such as using texting, talking on the phone, or whispering in the back of the classroom.
3-3. Have fair assessments.
Whether you're giving a quiz or a final exam, it's important to make sure the assignment is fair and useful for your students. They will be better students after all of your hard work, and will thank you for being an understanding teacher and classroom leader.
Have a study guide. Before an exam, tell your students what they can expect to be on it so they don't have any surprises on the day of the test.
Provide sample problems. Give your students practice problems so their skills are sharp on the day of the test.
3-4. Be creative.
To be a good classroom leader, you have to find new ways to introduce boring old material to your students. If you don't mix things up, your students will get bored and distracted and may even lose respect for you.
Bring current events into class discussion. Even if you're not teaching a history class, you can find a way to bring up current events, whether it's something related to the government or sports, and tie them into your material. This will make your students feel that your discussion is relevant to the real world.
Have unique activities that get your students moving and thinking. Allow your students to create their own paragraphs, board work, skits, or any other activity that may help them understand an old concept in a new way.
3-5. Show your students you care.
To be a good classroom leader, you have to prove that you care about your students' success. Be kind and approachable in the classroom, so they respect you but aren't afraid to ask questions.
Give good feedback on both written assignments as well as your students' in-class responses. This will show that you care about them on an individual level and want them to succeed.
Thank them for a great class. On the last day of class, bring them a special treat, or write them a note to say how much you've enjoyed having them in the classroom. This will make your classroom experience end on a positive note and will show what a great leader you are.
4. Being the Head of Your Family
4-1. Establish yourself as an authority figure.
Make it clear that you are the boss of your household, and that your rules should be followed.
Demonstrate to your children that your elders should be respected at all times. If your parents play an active role in your life, you can show your children that you respect your parents, just as they should respect you.
Tell your children to treat you with respect. You are a figure of authority and should be addressed and answered appropriately, even during tense situations.
4-2. Make clear rules.
Your children should have a strong sense of your expectations. You should avoid being temperamental or unclear so that they know what you actually want.
Establish expectations for chores. Your children should know what work is expected of them, whether it is to wash their own dishes, help set the table, or do yard work. Rotating chores can also help mix things up and to ensure that no one member of your household is stuck with the unpleasant tasks, such as cleaning your kitty's litter, every time.
Establish expectations for appropriate behavior. Make it clear that you expect your children to avoid foul language, have dinner at the dinner table, and to maintain a positive attitude when possible. Repeating these rules and others early and often will show your children that you have clear rules for what is and is not acceptable in your home.
Be consistent. Though certain rules may change as your children reach a specific age, be clear about general household expectations. Make sure your expectations are the same for every sibling, so you don't look like you're playing favorites.
4-3. Have a useful system of rewards and punishments.
In order to be the head of your household, your children should be aware that they will be rewarded for good behavior and punished for not meeting your expectations.
Have a reward for every occasion. If your child did well in school, passed a driver's test, kicked the winning goal in his soccer match, or reached an important milestone, such as a birthday, it's important to celebrate the occasion. Dinner at the restaurant of your child's choice, a trip to an amusement park or movie, or any other journey to your child's favorite destination, will help show that you care, and that you want him or her to keep succeeding.
Have clear punishments to discourage bad behavior. The punishment of grounding, or not allowing your child to spend time with a friend or at a favorite event, can go a long way in motivating your child not to stay out past curfew, or to skip class. If your child is younger, then having a simple "time out" or keeping him or her from watching a favorite show will demonstrate that you mean business when it comes to breaking rules.
4-4. Be a united front with your co-pilot.
If you and your spouse or significant other share the head of your household, make sure that your expectations are very similar.
Avoid making important decisions, such as letting your daughter go to a slumber party at a new friend's house, without your significant other. If he or she doesn't agree with your choice, then he or she will look like the bad guy.
Be both good cop and bad cop. Avoid having your children view one of their parents as the lenient one. Both of you should have similar expectations about what is and is not allowed.
4-5. Have fun with your family!
Don't get so caught up in making rules that you forget to enjoy your precious time with your loved ones. Here are some tips for making sure there is more fun than rules in your household:
Make time for family every week. Whether it's for cooking an Italian meal, watching a scary movie, or just having family board game night, it's important to carve out quality time for all the members of your family.
Show your love and affection for your spouse and children. Though you may be an authority figure, you are also a mother or father, and it's important to tell your children how much you love them, to hug them, and to tell them they're special every single day.
Tips
Never be too bossy when giving an instruction or command to someone or a group of persons. Always thank them for participating.
Don't try to be too pushy. A good leader has rules, but is lenient.
Always show readiness in the class room and on the court.
Warnings
Don't expect EVERYONE to follow you. There are some people out there that just aren't the following person. No matter how hard you try, you may not be able to reach everyone.
You might get called names, such as bossy or pushy, no matter what you do to be fair. It's part of the game.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Leadership in a Business Environment\\n1-1. Be a good role model.\\nTo earn respect, it's important to show that you know your stuff. People will respect and listen to you, if they know you are knowledgeable in your field.\\nDiscuss your experience. Without showing off, let your employees understand how long you've been in the business and what you have achieved while you were there. Not only will they have a better understanding of why you're sitting in the boss' chair, but they'll be more excited to be a part of your team and will admire you.\\nAct professionally. Though you may be the boss, you should still be cordial to all of your employees. You should also still meet the basic standards of professionalism such as; dressing appropriately, coming to work and meetings on time, and communicating in a professional manner.\\n1-2. Be clear about your rules and expectations.\\nWhether you're the CEO of a company or the manager of a team of four people, it's important to make your expectations \\\"crystal\\\" clear from the beginning.\\nHave a Code of Conduct or an Expectation Notice that you can point to which shows employees how to act. Give feedback based on their work, and relate it with your Code of Conduct.\\nIf you're working on a project, your goals and expectations should be clear from the beginning. Then your employees will be more motivated and not confused. It is preferable to have your goals down in written form.\\nDon't change your instructions in the middle of a project. Though some adjustments in the workplace are necessary, it's important to not only be clear about your expectations, but to also be consistent. If you change your mind about what you want halfway through a meeting, your employees may not take you seriously, or they might be frustrated.\\n1-3. Leave room for input.\\nThough it's important to be firm, you should still leave some room for the considerations of others. This way you won't look like a dictator. Also, there's a lot you can learn from your employees, which might help your business thrive.\\nAsk for feedback. It's important to ask for feedback after you've wrapped up a project, set up guidelines during a meeting, or you have thrown a charity event. You can do this without scaring your employees. Simply ask through email, or send an anonymous survey to them.\\nAsk for opinions in a face-to-face situations. At the end of a meeting, you can casually ask if people have any questions or opinions. This will give your employees time to consider what they're working on. You may also pull individual employees aside, or invite them to your office, to discuss the project further. Tell them that their perspective is crucial to your success.\\n1-4. Reward employees for good behavior.\\nTo be a good leader, you need to maintain high team morale, and to motivate employees to achieve their goals in a timely manner. Also, make your rewards desirable and fun!\\nGive praise regularly highly engaged employees get praise every week from their leader\\nHave a monthly team dinner to celebrate a completed goal. This will be, not only delicious, but a fun way to bond with your colleagues and to motivate them to achieve goals in a timely manner.\\nGive individual \\\"shout outs\\\" when necessary. If one of your employees accomplished something incredible, there's no harm in announcing his or her achievements through an email or at a meeting. Though this may make him or her blush, he or she will see that you're paying attention to his or her hard work.\\nReward your hard workers with prizes. A prize, whether it's the latest technological gadget or just a pair of free movie tickets, can give your employees the incentive they need to work hard, and will make them think you're a cool boss.\\n1-5. Be liked.\\nThough it's important for your workers to respect you most of all, it couldn't hurt for them to think you're a person who is worth spending time with. This will make them more excited to work for you and to have you as their leader! Here are some ways to make sure you are liked:\\nAdmit your mistakes. You aren't perfect, and occasionally showing that you could have planned something differently will show that you are only human and will make people respect you more. Of course, you can avoid always admitting that you've made a mistake, because you want to look like you know what the heck you're doing.\\nShare the occasional personal story. You don't have to be best friends with your employees, but talking about your family, or your background, can make them open up to you and see you as a person.\\nBe consistent in your interactions. If you're very friendly during group meetings, but chilly when you pass an employee in the hall, your workers may get mixed signals and may not like you very much. It's important to be cordial at all times--not just during the important ones.\\nAt the same time, don't be too chatty or social with your employees. It's healthy to make friends in the workplace, but if all you're doing is chatting everyone up at the watercooler, people may think you're more focused on gaining approval than being a good leader.\\nAvoid romantic relationships in the workplace. This almost always ends badly and can lead you to lose everyone's respect, not to mention your job.\\n2. Leadership in Sports\\n2-1. Demonstrate good sportsmanship at all times.\\nThough you may be the captain of your sports team and a star athlete to boot, it's important to be humble and polite.\\nIf you're practicing with members of your own team, offer them encouragement. Instead of showing off and being mean when they make a misstep, show them how to improve their game and compliment them when appropriate.\\nOn game day, it's important to look your opponents in the eye, shake their hands, and to show that you're focused on the game, not whether or not the other team's point guard is a jerk. Even if you feel someone on the other team acted unfairly, take it up with your coach or a ref as the situation dictates, but avoid name calling and foul language.\\nLose with dignity. Leaders should be seen as mature - not as crybabies. If the other team kicked your butt, congratulate them without wincing. With your good attitude, you'll get another chance at them.\\n2-2. Remind your teammates of your skills.\\nThough it's important not to call too much attention to yourself, don't be afraid to strut your stuff to let people know why you are the captain of your team.\\nHelp your coach demonstrate skills during drills. Your teammates will be impressed by how versatile and helpful you are.\\nOn game day, play your best. Don't slack off just because you're the captain--it's important to work your hardest on the court.\\n2-3. Show your love for teamwork.\\nYou're still part of a team and should work well with others. You were chosen to be a leader partly because of your ability to work with a diverse group of people.\\nWhen you're huddling with your team or giving instructions, make sure to give everyone a chance to participate in the game. If you're dictating plays, don't revolve the entire game around your skills.\\nBe helpful off the court. Help load equipment into your team bus, take attendance, and offer rides to any straggling team members. This will show that you care about working together on all aspects of the game, even it's just driving the freshman player to school so everyone can be a part of the game.\\n2-4. Be a good friend to your teammates.\\nThough you should be respected first of all, being a team captain is more casual than being a boss, and you should make an effort to make friends so you can have fun while working hard.\\nBe fun at team social events. Make sure to show up to team dinners and other social events first and to leave last. Show that you love being a leader of your team from start to finish. This will help you get to know your fellow players and to deepen your bond.\\nBe friendly with all members of the team. Don't play favorites, and work to get to know everyone on your team, from the star player to the slowest member on the JV squad. This will show that you care about everyone who makes the team so unique and strong.\\n2-5. Be a united front with your coach.\\nThough your teammates may criticize your coach, it's important to avoid this behavior to keep your team strong.\\nDon't criticize your coach in front of your teammates. Though you may disagree with your coach's actions, you can talk to him about it. Discussing it with your team can make everyone angry, and can make your team fall apart for lack of strong leadership.\\nExplain that your coach is looking out for your team's best interests. Show your teammates that your coach knows his stuff and should be trusted. This will keep your team strong and will make you look like a fair leader.\\n3. Leadership in the Classroom\\n3-1. Show your expertise in the subject matter.\\nIt's important for your students to know that they can trust you as an expert in your field.\\nWhen you introduce yourself, tell them how many years you've been working in your field and what you have achieved there. Then they'll know you know your stuff.\\nTell them how long you've been teaching your course. If you've been teaching the same course twenty times, let them know, so they have a sense that you've created the best course possible. If you're new to the classroom, however, don't let your students know so they don't see you as a pushover.\\n3-2. Establish your rules on day one.\\nOnce the introductions are out of the way, it's important to let your students understand your expectations so they can meet them.\\nHave a well-organized syllabus that shows them exactly what to expect from every day of the course. Answer any questions they have after you go over it, so you can clear up any confusion.\\nWhether you're teaching children or adults, it's important to have a clear code of conduct, which shows not only your expectations, but the punishments if your students fail to meet them. Common code of conduct rules include showing mutual respect and avoiding disruptive behavior, such as using texting, talking on the phone, or whispering in the back of the classroom.\\n3-3. Have fair assessments.\\nWhether you're giving a quiz or a final exam, it's important to make sure the assignment is fair and useful for your students. They will be better students after all of your hard work, and will thank you for being an understanding teacher and classroom leader.\\nHave a study guide. Before an exam, tell your students what they can expect to be on it so they don't have any surprises on the day of the test.\\nProvide sample problems. Give your students practice problems so their skills are sharp on the day of the test.\\n3-4. Be creative.\\nTo be a good classroom leader, you have to find new ways to introduce boring old material to your students. If you don't mix things up, your students will get bored and distracted and may even lose respect for you.\\nBring current events into class discussion. Even if you're not teaching a history class, you can find a way to bring up current events, whether it's something related to the government or sports, and tie them into your material. This will make your students feel that your discussion is relevant to the real world.\\nHave unique activities that get your students moving and thinking. Allow your students to create their own paragraphs, board work, skits, or any other activity that may help them understand an old concept in a new way.\\n3-5. Show your students you care.\\nTo be a good classroom leader, you have to prove that you care about your students' success. Be kind and approachable in the classroom, so they respect you but aren't afraid to ask questions.\\nGive good feedback on both written assignments as well as your students' in-class responses. This will show that you care about them on an individual level and want them to succeed.\\nThank them for a great class. On the last day of class, bring them a special treat, or write them a note to say how much you've enjoyed having them in the classroom. This will make your classroom experience end on a positive note and will show what a great leader you are.\\n4. Being the Head of Your Family\\n4-1. Establish yourself as an authority figure.\\nMake it clear that you are the boss of your household, and that your rules should be followed.\\nDemonstrate to your children that your elders should be respected at all times. If your parents play an active role in your life, you can show your children that you respect your parents, just as they should respect you.\\nTell your children to treat you with respect. You are a figure of authority and should be addressed and answered appropriately, even during tense situations.\\n4-2. Make clear rules.\\nYour children should have a strong sense of your expectations. You should avoid being temperamental or unclear so that they know what you actually want.\\nEstablish expectations for chores. Your children should know what work is expected of them, whether it is to wash their own dishes, help set the table, or do yard work. Rotating chores can also help mix things up and to ensure that no one member of your household is stuck with the unpleasant tasks, such as cleaning your kitty's litter, every time.\\nEstablish expectations for appropriate behavior. Make it clear that you expect your children to avoid foul language, have dinner at the dinner table, and to maintain a positive attitude when possible. Repeating these rules and others early and often will show your children that you have clear rules for what is and is not acceptable in your home.\\nBe consistent. Though certain rules may change as your children reach a specific age, be clear about general household expectations. Make sure your expectations are the same for every sibling, so you don't look like you're playing favorites.\\n4-3. Have a useful system of rewards and punishments.\\nIn order to be the head of your household, your children should be aware that they will be rewarded for good behavior and punished for not meeting your expectations.\\nHave a reward for every occasion. If your child did well in school, passed a driver's test, kicked the winning goal in his soccer match, or reached an important milestone, such as a birthday, it's important to celebrate the occasion. Dinner at the restaurant of your child's choice, a trip to an amusement park or movie, or any other journey to your child's favorite destination, will help show that you care, and that you want him or her to keep succeeding.\\nHave clear punishments to discourage bad behavior. The punishment of grounding, or not allowing your child to spend time with a friend or at a favorite event, can go a long way in motivating your child not to stay out past curfew, or to skip class. If your child is younger, then having a simple \\\"time out\\\" or keeping him or her from watching a favorite show will demonstrate that you mean business when it comes to breaking rules.\\n4-4. Be a united front with your co-pilot.\\nIf you and your spouse or significant other share the head of your household, make sure that your expectations are very similar.\\nAvoid making important decisions, such as letting your daughter go to a slumber party at a new friend's house, without your significant other. If he or she doesn't agree with your choice, then he or she will look like the bad guy.\\nBe both good cop and bad cop. Avoid having your children view one of their parents as the lenient one. Both of you should have similar expectations about what is and is not allowed.\\n4-5. Have fun with your family!\\nDon't get so caught up in making rules that you forget to enjoy your precious time with your loved ones. Here are some tips for making sure there is more fun than rules in your household:\\nMake time for family every week. Whether it's for cooking an Italian meal, watching a scary movie, or just having family board game night, it's important to carve out quality time for all the members of your family.\\nShow your love and affection for your spouse and children. Though you may be an authority figure, you are also a mother or father, and it's important to tell your children how much you love them, to hug them, and to tell them they're special every single day.\\nTips\\nNever be too bossy when giving an instruction or command to someone or a group of persons. Always thank them for participating.\\nDon't try to be too pushy. A good leader has rules, but is lenient.\\nAlways show readiness in the class room and on the court.\\nWarnings\\nDon't expect EVERYONE to follow you. There are some people out there that just aren't the following person. No matter how hard you try, you may not be able to reach everyone.\\nYou might get called names, such as bossy or pushy, no matter what you do to be fair. It's part of the game.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Good leaders must be good role models, knowledgeable in their fields, and worthy of respect. There are many ways to lead, whether it's by taking on a leadership role at work, or being the captain of your sports team. Here are some tips to help you excel as a leader in any situation in life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Leadership in a Business Environment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a good role model.\", \"描述\": \"To earn respect, it's important to show that you know your stuff. People will respect and listen to you, if they know you are knowledgeable in your field.\\nDiscuss your experience. Without showing off, let your employees understand how long you've been in the business and what you have achieved while you were there. Not only will they have a better understanding of why you're sitting in the boss' chair, but they'll be more excited to be a part of your team and will admire you.\\nAct professionally. Though you may be the boss, you should still be cordial to all of your employees. You should also still meet the basic standards of professionalism such as; dressing appropriately, coming to work and meetings on time, and communicating in a professional manner.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be clear about your rules and expectations.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're the CEO of a company or the manager of a team of four people, it's important to make your expectations \\\"crystal\\\" clear from the beginning.\\nHave a Code of Conduct or an Expectation Notice that you can point to which shows employees how to act. Give feedback based on their work, and relate it with your Code of Conduct.\\nIf you're working on a project, your goals and expectations should be clear from the beginning. Then your employees will be more motivated and not confused. It is preferable to have your goals down in written form.\\nDon't change your instructions in the middle of a project. Though some adjustments in the workplace are necessary, it's important to not only be clear about your expectations, but to also be consistent. If you change your mind about what you want halfway through a meeting, your employees may not take you seriously, or they might be frustrated.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Leave room for input.\", \"描述\": \"Though it's important to be firm, you should still leave some room for the considerations of others. This way you won't look like a dictator. Also, there's a lot you can learn from your employees, which might help your business thrive.\\nAsk for feedback. It's important to ask for feedback after you've wrapped up a project, set up guidelines during a meeting, or you have thrown a charity event. You can do this without scaring your employees. Simply ask through email, or send an anonymous survey to them.\\nAsk for opinions in a face-to-face situations. At the end of a meeting, you can casually ask if people have any questions or opinions. This will give your employees time to consider what they're working on. You may also pull individual employees aside, or invite them to your office, to discuss the project further. Tell them that their perspective is crucial to your success.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reward employees for good behavior.\", \"描述\": \"To be a good leader, you need to maintain high team morale, and to motivate employees to achieve their goals in a timely manner. Also, make your rewards desirable and fun!\\nGive praise regularly highly engaged employees get praise every week from their leader\\nHave a monthly team dinner to celebrate a completed goal. This will be, not only delicious, but a fun way to bond with your colleagues and to motivate them to achieve goals in a timely manner.\\nGive individual \\\"shout outs\\\" when necessary. If one of your employees accomplished something incredible, there's no harm in announcing his or her achievements through an email or at a meeting. Though this may make him or her blush, he or she will see that you're paying attention to his or her hard work.\\nReward your hard workers with prizes. A prize, whether it's the latest technological gadget or just a pair of free movie tickets, can give your employees the incentive they need to work hard, and will make them think you're a cool boss.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be liked.\", \"描述\": \"Though it's important for your workers to respect you most of all, it couldn't hurt for them to think you're a person who is worth spending time with. This will make them more excited to work for you and to have you as their leader! Here are some ways to make sure you are liked:\\nAdmit your mistakes. You aren't perfect, and occasionally showing that you could have planned something differently will show that you are only human and will make people respect you more. Of course, you can avoid always admitting that you've made a mistake, because you want to look like you know what the heck you're doing.\\nShare the occasional personal story. You don't have to be best friends with your employees, but talking about your family, or your background, can make them open up to you and see you as a person.\\nBe consistent in your interactions. If you're very friendly during group meetings, but chilly when you pass an employee in the hall, your workers may get mixed signals and may not like you very much. It's important to be cordial at all times--not just during the important ones.\\nAt the same time, don't be too chatty or social with your employees. It's healthy to make friends in the workplace, but if all you're doing is chatting everyone up at the watercooler, people may think you're more focused on gaining approval than being a good leader.\\nAvoid romantic relationships in the workplace. This almost always ends badly and can lead you to lose everyone's respect, not to mention your job.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Leadership in Sports\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate good sportsmanship at all times.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may be the captain of your sports team and a star athlete to boot, it's important to be humble and polite.\\nIf you're practicing with members of your own team, offer them encouragement. Instead of showing off and being mean when they make a misstep, show them how to improve their game and compliment them when appropriate.\\nOn game day, it's important to look your opponents in the eye, shake their hands, and to show that you're focused on the game, not whether or not the other team's point guard is a jerk. Even if you feel someone on the other team acted unfairly, take it up with your coach or a ref as the situation dictates, but avoid name calling and foul language.\\nLose with dignity. Leaders should be seen as mature - not as crybabies. If the other team kicked your butt, congratulate them without wincing. With your good attitude, you'll get another chance at them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remind your teammates of your skills.\", \"描述\": \"Though it's important not to call too much attention to yourself, don't be afraid to strut your stuff to let people know why you are the captain of your team.\\nHelp your coach demonstrate skills during drills. Your teammates will be impressed by how versatile and helpful you are.\\nOn game day, play your best. Don't slack off just because you're the captain--it's important to work your hardest on the court.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show your love for teamwork.\", \"描述\": \"You're still part of a team and should work well with others. You were chosen to be a leader partly because of your ability to work with a diverse group of people.\\nWhen you're huddling with your team or giving instructions, make sure to give everyone a chance to participate in the game. If you're dictating plays, don't revolve the entire game around your skills.\\nBe helpful off the court. Help load equipment into your team bus, take attendance, and offer rides to any straggling team members. This will show that you care about working together on all aspects of the game, even it's just driving the freshman player to school so everyone can be a part of the game.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be a good friend to your teammates.\", \"描述\": \"Though you should be respected first of all, being a team captain is more casual than being a boss, and you should make an effort to make friends so you can have fun while working hard.\\nBe fun at team social events. Make sure to show up to team dinners and other social events first and to leave last. Show that you love being a leader of your team from start to finish. This will help you get to know your fellow players and to deepen your bond.\\nBe friendly with all members of the team. Don't play favorites, and work to get to know everyone on your team, from the star player to the slowest member on the JV squad. This will show that you care about everyone who makes the team so unique and strong.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be a united front with your coach.\", \"描述\": \"Though your teammates may criticize your coach, it's important to avoid this behavior to keep your team strong.\\nDon't criticize your coach in front of your teammates. Though you may disagree with your coach's actions, you can talk to him about it. Discussing it with your team can make everyone angry, and can make your team fall apart for lack of strong leadership.\\nExplain that your coach is looking out for your team's best interests. Show your teammates that your coach knows his stuff and should be trusted. This will keep your team strong and will make you look like a fair leader.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Leadership in the Classroom\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show your expertise in the subject matter.\", \"描述\": \"It's important for your students to know that they can trust you as an expert in your field.\\nWhen you introduce yourself, tell them how many years you've been working in your field and what you have achieved there. Then they'll know you know your stuff.\\nTell them how long you've been teaching your course. If you've been teaching the same course twenty times, let them know, so they have a sense that you've created the best course possible. If you're new to the classroom, however, don't let your students know so they don't see you as a pushover.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Establish your rules on day one.\", \"描述\": \"Once the introductions are out of the way, it's important to let your students understand your expectations so they can meet them.\\nHave a well-organized syllabus that shows them exactly what to expect from every day of the course. Answer any questions they have after you go over it, so you can clear up any confusion.\\nWhether you're teaching children or adults, it's important to have a clear code of conduct, which shows not only your expectations, but the punishments if your students fail to meet them. Common code of conduct rules include showing mutual respect and avoiding disruptive behavior, such as using texting, talking on the phone, or whispering in the back of the classroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have fair assessments.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're giving a quiz or a final exam, it's important to make sure the assignment is fair and useful for your students. They will be better students after all of your hard work, and will thank you for being an understanding teacher and classroom leader.\\nHave a study guide. Before an exam, tell your students what they can expect to be on it so they don't have any surprises on the day of the test.\\nProvide sample problems. Give your students practice problems so their skills are sharp on the day of the test.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be creative.\", \"描述\": \"To be a good classroom leader, you have to find new ways to introduce boring old material to your students. If you don't mix things up, your students will get bored and distracted and may even lose respect for you.\\nBring current events into class discussion. Even if you're not teaching a history class, you can find a way to bring up current events, whether it's something related to the government or sports, and tie them into your material. This will make your students feel that your discussion is relevant to the real world.\\nHave unique activities that get your students moving and thinking. Allow your students to create their own paragraphs, board work, skits, or any other activity that may help them understand an old concept in a new way.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show your students you care.\", \"描述\": \"To be a good classroom leader, you have to prove that you care about your students' success. Be kind and approachable in the classroom, so they respect you but aren't afraid to ask questions.\\nGive good feedback on both written assignments as well as your students' in-class responses. This will show that you care about them on an individual level and want them to succeed.\\nThank them for a great class. On the last day of class, bring them a special treat, or write them a note to say how much you've enjoyed having them in the classroom. This will make your classroom experience end on a positive note and will show what a great leader you are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being the Head of Your Family\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Establish yourself as an authority figure.\", \"描述\": \"Make it clear that you are the boss of your household, and that your rules should be followed.\\nDemonstrate to your children that your elders should be respected at all times. If your parents play an active role in your life, you can show your children that you respect your parents, just as they should respect you.\\nTell your children to treat you with respect. You are a figure of authority and should be addressed and answered appropriately, even during tense situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make clear rules.\", \"描述\": \"Your children should have a strong sense of your expectations. You should avoid being temperamental or unclear so that they know what you actually want.\\nEstablish expectations for chores. Your children should know what work is expected of them, whether it is to wash their own dishes, help set the table, or do yard work. Rotating chores can also help mix things up and to ensure that no one member of your household is stuck with the unpleasant tasks, such as cleaning your kitty's litter, every time.\\nEstablish expectations for appropriate behavior. Make it clear that you expect your children to avoid foul language, have dinner at the dinner table, and to maintain a positive attitude when possible. Repeating these rules and others early and often will show your children that you have clear rules for what is and is not acceptable in your home.\\nBe consistent. Though certain rules may change as your children reach a specific age, be clear about general household expectations. Make sure your expectations are the same for every sibling, so you don't look like you're playing favorites.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a useful system of rewards and punishments.\", \"描述\": \"In order to be the head of your household, your children should be aware that they will be rewarded for good behavior and punished for not meeting your expectations.\\nHave a reward for every occasion. If your child did well in school, passed a driver's test, kicked the winning goal in his soccer match, or reached an important milestone, such as a birthday, it's important to celebrate the occasion. Dinner at the restaurant of your child's choice, a trip to an amusement park or movie, or any other journey to your child's favorite destination, will help show that you care, and that you want him or her to keep succeeding.\\nHave clear punishments to discourage bad behavior. The punishment of grounding, or not allowing your child to spend time with a friend or at a favorite event, can go a long way in motivating your child not to stay out past curfew, or to skip class. If your child is younger, then having a simple \\\"time out\\\" or keeping him or her from watching a favorite show will demonstrate that you mean business when it comes to breaking rules.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be a united front with your co-pilot.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your spouse or significant other share the head of your household, make sure that your expectations are very similar.\\nAvoid making important decisions, such as letting your daughter go to a slumber party at a new friend's house, without your significant other. If he or she doesn't agree with your choice, then he or she will look like the bad guy.\\nBe both good cop and bad cop. Avoid having your children view one of their parents as the lenient one. Both of you should have similar expectations about what is and is not allowed.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have fun with your family!\", \"描述\": \"Don't get so caught up in making rules that you forget to enjoy your precious time with your loved ones. Here are some tips for making sure there is more fun than rules in your household:\\nMake time for family every week. Whether it's for cooking an Italian meal, watching a scary movie, or just having family board game night, it's important to carve out quality time for all the members of your family.\\nShow your love and affection for your spouse and children. Though you may be an authority figure, you are also a mother or father, and it's important to tell your children how much you love them, to hug them, and to tell them they're special every single day.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Never be too bossy when giving an instruction or command to someone or a group of persons. Always thank them for participating.\\n\", \"Don't try to be too pushy. A good leader has rules, but is lenient.\\n\", \"Always show readiness in the class room and on the court.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't expect EVERYONE to follow you. There are some people out there that just aren't the following person. No matter how hard you try, you may not be able to reach everyone.\\n\", \"You might get called names, such as bossy or pushy, no matter what you do to be fair. It's part of the game.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,471 |
How to Be a Good Leader at School
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1. Taking on a Leadership Position
1-1. Know your strengths.
Knowing your own strengths and what you care about will help you choose what area of leadership to focus in. Do you love helping people? Consider joining a volunteer organization for the needy. Do you have a passion for writing and enjoy working with a team? Maybe the school newspaper would be a good fit for you. If you’re a people person and you’d like to work toward the good of the school community, consider joining the student government.
1-2. Get involved in school activities.
Run for student council. Join a few teams, clubs, or organizations and get a feel for what is a good fit for you. Get to know the other people involved in the group right off the bat. You’re not limited to student council – sports teams, language clubs, debate teams, academic teams, the school band, performing arts groups, and publications (newspaper, yearbook) are just a few examples of organizations where there are opportunities for leadership positions.
1-3. Gain experience in different extracurriculars.
For pretty much every leadership position, you have to start at the bottom and learn the ropes. This is the way you gain knowledge about the group and how things are run. Spend enough time becoming knowledgeable, and you will start becoming a person that others in the group look up to. Eventually, you’ll be able to take a leadership position.
1-4. Take action in the groups you're in.
Begin assuming more responsibilities in your group. Set goals and do what it takes to accomplish them. Leaders are people who don’t wait to be told what to do; they come up with good ideas and turn their visions into reality. Be sure to communicate with others in the group about your ideas and encourage them to join you in accomplishing them.
1-5. Make a difference.
Invite outside organizations, like those that help the environment or the homeless, to your school by organizing a fundraiser. Organize special events to raise awareness of important issues or celebrations, like Cancer or HIV awareness, Black History Month, etc. Learn about what other young people do to support causes - in their communities, nationally, or even internationally.
2. Being a Good Role Model
2-1. Try your best.
Being a leader at school doesn’t always mean you have to have perfect grades. But you should show a positive attitude toward your classes, participation, and giving out your best effort to everything.
Teachers can usually tell if you are trying your best, and so can your classmates. Make an effort to work well in groups and get along with everyone.
2-2. Be respectful to adults at school.
A good leader is someone who knows the rules and who understands different positions of authority. You may not agree 100% with your teachers and parents at all times, but you should always maintain a respectful, pleasant attitude toward them.
Respect for authority prepares you for becoming an adult and entering the work world where you will have different types of bosses. Showing respect for adults now also shows your teachers, parents, and peers that you are a mature and confident leader.
2-3. Be on time and organized.
Come to school on time and get to each of your classes on time. Turn in your homework and other class projects on time.
Be sure you have a planner or agenda book to help you keep track of project deadlines. Write down each day the upcoming due dates for projects and homework for every class.
2-4. Help others.
If you know how to do something in class that others don’t, offer to help them. Ask in a nice way if you can help students with class work, as long as it’s okay with the teacher. If you finish with some work early, and notice someone else who may be struggling with it, raise your hand and ask if you can help them with it.
Helpful behavior extends to the halls too. If you see someone drop their books, help to pick them up. If a new student doesn’t know where certain things or rooms are, offer to help show them around.
2-5. Be trustworthy.
Be honest, don’t talk about others behind their backs, and make sure that you treat others the way you would like to be treated.
Being a trustworthy person is a quality of a good leader. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you say one thing to one person but different things to someone else (known as being “two-faced”), it will be found out that you are not someone who can be trusted and, people don’t usually want a leader who they cannot trust.
2-6. Be fair to everyone.
Even if you don't like a certain person, they should still be treated like everyone else. Being consistent in how you treat everyone is an important way to build and maintain trust. If someone breaks a rule, for example, be sure that they receive the same consequence that anyone else would get for breaking a rule.
Don’t play favorites with your closer friends, and don’t let your personal feelings toward someone you don’t like as much get in the way of being in a group with them. Being part of a team that is trying to accomplishing a goal means that everyone must work together; it’s not just a social gathering.
Showing fairness is something that you will notice good teachers and parents do. They try not to take sides, and make sure that the rules apply to everyone equally. Being fair and able to work with anyone also prepares you for a work environment, where you don’t usually get to choose your co-workers.
2-7. Stay positive.
Be happy and smile frequently. Don’t wear a fake smile, but being friendly and smiling frequently makes you much more approachable.
If your group is under lots of pressure, for instance your team just lost a big game, don’t become negative. Say things like, “we’ll get it next time” and “everyone did a great job, the other team just did a little better.” This will help your teammates know you believe in them and that they should keep trying hard.
2-8. Don’t participate in bullying or gossip.
If there is one quality that adults notice most about student leaders, it is their ability to make all students feel welcome and respected at school.
If you notice a certain student getting picked on, stand up for them. Don’t be afraid to say, “Just leave them alone,” or something like that. It will show the students doing the bullying that you don’t think their actions are cool.
Go out of your way to include students who don’t seem to have many friends. Invite them to participate in an activity with you and some others. Say hello to them occasionally and ask how their day is. They may hesitate at first especially if they are used to kids being not nice to them, but keep trying.
3. Practicing Good Leadership Qualites
3-1. Be a good communicator.
Learn public speaking skills and writing skills. You should be able to express yourself in a clear way, during meetings, speeches, practices, and/or games so that people are more likely to want to listen to you.
If you are in a position where you need to do public speaking, practice at home in front of a mirror. Notice your mannerisms and facial expressions while speaking. Also ask if others at home can listen to you practice your speeches and offer suggestions. Speaking to groups well takes a lot of practice – don’t get discouraged if you feel nervous or mess up the first few times. Just keep at it!
Being a good communicator also means listening well. Take time to learn what people want and care about in your group. Be sure that everyone’s voice gets to be heard, and that you consider all opinions in the group when making decisions.
3-2. Distribute the workload.
Have others help with the work, and distribute jobs evenly among everybody so that one person will not have to shoulder all of the work.
For instance, a team captain may give certain clean-up or uniform duties to teammates, or a newspaper editor gives out different article assignments for the staff to write. It’s important to rotate jobs around so that everyone gets equal responsibilities.
Delegating responsibilities will be up to you and the rest of the group to decide. Make sure everyone feels confident about the job they’ve been given. If a person lacks confidence about a job, you and others in the group may need to work toward encouraging them and offering help and guidance.
It is part of your job to encourage others to participate. If it feels like someone isn’t pulling their share of the work load, privately discuss this with them, and let them know you’re hoping you can count on them to contribute a little more.
3-3. Be resourceful.
A good leader knows about the resources that are available to the group. If you don’t know the answer to something, or notice that something needs done but you’re not sure how to do it yourselves, you’re the one who should ask questions of your teachers, coaches, etc.
It’s your job to create access to information and to supplies that you need for various projects and activities. You are essentially the liaison between the group and the adult who oversees the entire group. Not sure where to get certain props for the musical? Discuss it with the teacher director. Suspect that your team would benefit from one extra practice per week? Bring it up to the coach.
3-4. Be open-minded and flexible.
A good leader will be willing to listen to the group when deciding if a certain rule or policy needs to be changed. Sometimes the way things have been done are outdated or could be done in a better way. Being open to change is always good.
This step goes back to being a good listener. A leader sometimes needs to step back and just listen – to the complaints or the satisfactions of the group. What is working well? What needs to be changed? Just by listening you can learn a lot that can be brought up at future decision-making meetings.
There may be uncomfortable or unexpected moments during your role as a leader. Someone may quit the group, want to make dramatic changes, or challenge your actions as the leader. How do you handle these moments? If you’re able to adapt and do your best to work it out, then you have part of what it takes to be a great leader!
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking on a Leadership Position\\n1-1. Know your strengths.\\nKnowing your own strengths and what you care about will help you choose what area of leadership to focus in. Do you love helping people? Consider joining a volunteer organization for the needy. Do you have a passion for writing and enjoy working with a team? Maybe the school newspaper would be a good fit for you. If you’re a people person and you’d like to work toward the good of the school community, consider joining the student government.\\n1-2. Get involved in school activities.\\nRun for student council. Join a few teams, clubs, or organizations and get a feel for what is a good fit for you. Get to know the other people involved in the group right off the bat. You’re not limited to student council – sports teams, language clubs, debate teams, academic teams, the school band, performing arts groups, and publications (newspaper, yearbook) are just a few examples of organizations where there are opportunities for leadership positions.\\n1-3. Gain experience in different extracurriculars.\\nFor pretty much every leadership position, you have to start at the bottom and learn the ropes. This is the way you gain knowledge about the group and how things are run. Spend enough time becoming knowledgeable, and you will start becoming a person that others in the group look up to. Eventually, you’ll be able to take a leadership position.\\n1-4. Take action in the groups you're in.\\nBegin assuming more responsibilities in your group. Set goals and do what it takes to accomplish them. Leaders are people who don’t wait to be told what to do; they come up with good ideas and turn their visions into reality. Be sure to communicate with others in the group about your ideas and encourage them to join you in accomplishing them.\\n1-5. Make a difference.\\nInvite outside organizations, like those that help the environment or the homeless, to your school by organizing a fundraiser. Organize special events to raise awareness of important issues or celebrations, like Cancer or HIV awareness, Black History Month, etc. Learn about what other young people do to support causes - in their communities, nationally, or even internationally.\\n2. Being a Good Role Model\\n2-1. Try your best.\\nBeing a leader at school doesn’t always mean you have to have perfect grades. But you should show a positive attitude toward your classes, participation, and giving out your best effort to everything.\\nTeachers can usually tell if you are trying your best, and so can your classmates. Make an effort to work well in groups and get along with everyone.\\n2-2. Be respectful to adults at school.\\nA good leader is someone who knows the rules and who understands different positions of authority. You may not agree 100% with your teachers and parents at all times, but you should always maintain a respectful, pleasant attitude toward them.\\nRespect for authority prepares you for becoming an adult and entering the work world where you will have different types of bosses. Showing respect for adults now also shows your teachers, parents, and peers that you are a mature and confident leader.\\n2-3. Be on time and organized.\\nCome to school on time and get to each of your classes on time. Turn in your homework and other class projects on time.\\nBe sure you have a planner or agenda book to help you keep track of project deadlines. Write down each day the upcoming due dates for projects and homework for every class.\\n2-4. Help others.\\nIf you know how to do something in class that others don’t, offer to help them. Ask in a nice way if you can help students with class work, as long as it’s okay with the teacher. If you finish with some work early, and notice someone else who may be struggling with it, raise your hand and ask if you can help them with it.\\nHelpful behavior extends to the halls too. If you see someone drop their books, help to pick them up. If a new student doesn’t know where certain things or rooms are, offer to help show them around.\\n2-5. Be trustworthy.\\nBe honest, don’t talk about others behind their backs, and make sure that you treat others the way you would like to be treated.\\nBeing a trustworthy person is a quality of a good leader. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you say one thing to one person but different things to someone else (known as being “two-faced”), it will be found out that you are not someone who can be trusted and, people don’t usually want a leader who they cannot trust.\\n2-6. Be fair to everyone.\\nEven if you don't like a certain person, they should still be treated like everyone else. Being consistent in how you treat everyone is an important way to build and maintain trust. If someone breaks a rule, for example, be sure that they receive the same consequence that anyone else would get for breaking a rule.\\nDon’t play favorites with your closer friends, and don’t let your personal feelings toward someone you don’t like as much get in the way of being in a group with them. Being part of a team that is trying to accomplishing a goal means that everyone must work together; it’s not just a social gathering.\\nShowing fairness is something that you will notice good teachers and parents do. They try not to take sides, and make sure that the rules apply to everyone equally. Being fair and able to work with anyone also prepares you for a work environment, where you don’t usually get to choose your co-workers.\\n2-7. Stay positive.\\nBe happy and smile frequently. Don’t wear a fake smile, but being friendly and smiling frequently makes you much more approachable.\\nIf your group is under lots of pressure, for instance your team just lost a big game, don’t become negative. Say things like, “we’ll get it next time” and “everyone did a great job, the other team just did a little better.” This will help your teammates know you believe in them and that they should keep trying hard.\\n2-8. Don’t participate in bullying or gossip.\\nIf there is one quality that adults notice most about student leaders, it is their ability to make all students feel welcome and respected at school.\\nIf you notice a certain student getting picked on, stand up for them. Don’t be afraid to say, “Just leave them alone,” or something like that. It will show the students doing the bullying that you don’t think their actions are cool.\\nGo out of your way to include students who don’t seem to have many friends. Invite them to participate in an activity with you and some others. Say hello to them occasionally and ask how their day is. They may hesitate at first especially if they are used to kids being not nice to them, but keep trying.\\n3. Practicing Good Leadership Qualites\\n3-1. Be a good communicator.\\nLearn public speaking skills and writing skills. You should be able to express yourself in a clear way, during meetings, speeches, practices, and/or games so that people are more likely to want to listen to you.\\nIf you are in a position where you need to do public speaking, practice at home in front of a mirror. Notice your mannerisms and facial expressions while speaking. Also ask if others at home can listen to you practice your speeches and offer suggestions. Speaking to groups well takes a lot of practice – don’t get discouraged if you feel nervous or mess up the first few times. Just keep at it!\\nBeing a good communicator also means listening well. Take time to learn what people want and care about in your group. Be sure that everyone’s voice gets to be heard, and that you consider all opinions in the group when making decisions.\\n3-2. Distribute the workload.\\nHave others help with the work, and distribute jobs evenly among everybody so that one person will not have to shoulder all of the work.\\nFor instance, a team captain may give certain clean-up or uniform duties to teammates, or a newspaper editor gives out different article assignments for the staff to write. It’s important to rotate jobs around so that everyone gets equal responsibilities.\\nDelegating responsibilities will be up to you and the rest of the group to decide. Make sure everyone feels confident about the job they’ve been given. If a person lacks confidence about a job, you and others in the group may need to work toward encouraging them and offering help and guidance.\\nIt is part of your job to encourage others to participate. If it feels like someone isn’t pulling their share of the work load, privately discuss this with them, and let them know you’re hoping you can count on them to contribute a little more.\\n3-3. Be resourceful.\\nA good leader knows about the resources that are available to the group. If you don’t know the answer to something, or notice that something needs done but you’re not sure how to do it yourselves, you’re the one who should ask questions of your teachers, coaches, etc.\\nIt’s your job to create access to information and to supplies that you need for various projects and activities. You are essentially the liaison between the group and the adult who oversees the entire group. Not sure where to get certain props for the musical? Discuss it with the teacher director. Suspect that your team would benefit from one extra practice per week? Bring it up to the coach.\\n3-4. Be open-minded and flexible.\\nA good leader will be willing to listen to the group when deciding if a certain rule or policy needs to be changed. Sometimes the way things have been done are outdated or could be done in a better way. Being open to change is always good.\\nThis step goes back to being a good listener. A leader sometimes needs to step back and just listen – to the complaints or the satisfactions of the group. What is working well? What needs to be changed? Just by listening you can learn a lot that can be brought up at future decision-making meetings.\\nThere may be uncomfortable or unexpected moments during your role as a leader. Someone may quit the group, want to make dramatic changes, or challenge your actions as the leader. How do you handle these moments? If you’re able to adapt and do your best to work it out, then you have part of what it takes to be a great leader!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are many ways to be a student leader: whether it’s through student government, academic teams, athletic teams, publications, the arts, or community service. If you are highly involved in school, chances are that other students look up to you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking on a Leadership Position\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know your strengths.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing your own strengths and what you care about will help you choose what area of leadership to focus in. Do you love helping people? Consider joining a volunteer organization for the needy. Do you have a passion for writing and enjoy working with a team? Maybe the school newspaper would be a good fit for you. If you’re a people person and you’d like to work toward the good of the school community, consider joining the student government.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get involved in school activities.\", \"描述\": \"Run for student council. Join a few teams, clubs, or organizations and get a feel for what is a good fit for you. Get to know the other people involved in the group right off the bat. You’re not limited to student council – sports teams, language clubs, debate teams, academic teams, the school band, performing arts groups, and publications (newspaper, yearbook) are just a few examples of organizations where there are opportunities for leadership positions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gain experience in different extracurriculars.\", \"描述\": \"For pretty much every leadership position, you have to start at the bottom and learn the ropes. This is the way you gain knowledge about the group and how things are run. Spend enough time becoming knowledgeable, and you will start becoming a person that others in the group look up to. Eventually, you’ll be able to take a leadership position.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take action in the groups you're in.\", \"描述\": \"Begin assuming more responsibilities in your group. Set goals and do what it takes to accomplish them. Leaders are people who don’t wait to be told what to do; they come up with good ideas and turn their visions into reality. Be sure to communicate with others in the group about your ideas and encourage them to join you in accomplishing them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make a difference.\", \"描述\": \"Invite outside organizations, like those that help the environment or the homeless, to your school by organizing a fundraiser. Organize special events to raise awareness of important issues or celebrations, like Cancer or HIV awareness, Black History Month, etc. Learn about what other young people do to support causes - in their communities, nationally, or even internationally.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being a Good Role Model\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try your best.\", \"描述\": \"Being a leader at school doesn’t always mean you have to have perfect grades. But you should show a positive attitude toward your classes, participation, and giving out your best effort to everything.\\nTeachers can usually tell if you are trying your best, and so can your classmates. Make an effort to work well in groups and get along with everyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be respectful to adults at school.\", \"描述\": \"A good leader is someone who knows the rules and who understands different positions of authority. You may not agree 100% with your teachers and parents at all times, but you should always maintain a respectful, pleasant attitude toward them.\\nRespect for authority prepares you for becoming an adult and entering the work world where you will have different types of bosses. Showing respect for adults now also shows your teachers, parents, and peers that you are a mature and confident leader.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be on time and organized.\", \"描述\": \"Come to school on time and get to each of your classes on time. Turn in your homework and other class projects on time.\\nBe sure you have a planner or agenda book to help you keep track of project deadlines. Write down each day the upcoming due dates for projects and homework for every class.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Help others.\", \"描述\": \"If you know how to do something in class that others don’t, offer to help them. Ask in a nice way if you can help students with class work, as long as it’s okay with the teacher. If you finish with some work early, and notice someone else who may be struggling with it, raise your hand and ask if you can help them with it.\\nHelpful behavior extends to the halls too. If you see someone drop their books, help to pick them up. If a new student doesn’t know where certain things or rooms are, offer to help show them around.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be trustworthy.\", \"描述\": \"Be honest, don’t talk about others behind their backs, and make sure that you treat others the way you would like to be treated.\\nBeing a trustworthy person is a quality of a good leader. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you say one thing to one person but different things to someone else (known as being “two-faced”), it will be found out that you are not someone who can be trusted and, people don’t usually want a leader who they cannot trust.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be fair to everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you don't like a certain person, they should still be treated like everyone else. Being consistent in how you treat everyone is an important way to build and maintain trust. If someone breaks a rule, for example, be sure that they receive the same consequence that anyone else would get for breaking a rule.\\nDon’t play favorites with your closer friends, and don’t let your personal feelings toward someone you don’t like as much get in the way of being in a group with them. Being part of a team that is trying to accomplishing a goal means that everyone must work together; it’s not just a social gathering.\\nShowing fairness is something that you will notice good teachers and parents do. They try not to take sides, and make sure that the rules apply to everyone equally. Being fair and able to work with anyone also prepares you for a work environment, where you don’t usually get to choose your co-workers.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stay positive.\", \"描述\": \"Be happy and smile frequently. Don’t wear a fake smile, but being friendly and smiling frequently makes you much more approachable.\\nIf your group is under lots of pressure, for instance your team just lost a big game, don’t become negative. Say things like, “we’ll get it next time” and “everyone did a great job, the other team just did a little better.” This will help your teammates know you believe in them and that they should keep trying hard.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don’t participate in bullying or gossip.\", \"描述\": \"If there is one quality that adults notice most about student leaders, it is their ability to make all students feel welcome and respected at school.\\nIf you notice a certain student getting picked on, stand up for them. Don’t be afraid to say, “Just leave them alone,” or something like that. It will show the students doing the bullying that you don’t think their actions are cool.\\nGo out of your way to include students who don’t seem to have many friends. Invite them to participate in an activity with you and some others. Say hello to them occasionally and ask how their day is. They may hesitate at first especially if they are used to kids being not nice to them, but keep trying.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing Good Leadership Qualites\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a good communicator.\", \"描述\": \"Learn public speaking skills and writing skills. You should be able to express yourself in a clear way, during meetings, speeches, practices, and/or games so that people are more likely to want to listen to you.\\nIf you are in a position where you need to do public speaking, practice at home in front of a mirror. Notice your mannerisms and facial expressions while speaking. Also ask if others at home can listen to you practice your speeches and offer suggestions. Speaking to groups well takes a lot of practice – don’t get discouraged if you feel nervous or mess up the first few times. Just keep at it!\\nBeing a good communicator also means listening well. Take time to learn what people want and care about in your group. Be sure that everyone’s voice gets to be heard, and that you consider all opinions in the group when making decisions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Distribute the workload.\", \"描述\": \"Have others help with the work, and distribute jobs evenly among everybody so that one person will not have to shoulder all of the work.\\nFor instance, a team captain may give certain clean-up or uniform duties to teammates, or a newspaper editor gives out different article assignments for the staff to write. It’s important to rotate jobs around so that everyone gets equal responsibilities.\\nDelegating responsibilities will be up to you and the rest of the group to decide. Make sure everyone feels confident about the job they’ve been given. If a person lacks confidence about a job, you and others in the group may need to work toward encouraging them and offering help and guidance.\\nIt is part of your job to encourage others to participate. If it feels like someone isn’t pulling their share of the work load, privately discuss this with them, and let them know you’re hoping you can count on them to contribute a little more.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be resourceful.\", \"描述\": \"A good leader knows about the resources that are available to the group. If you don’t know the answer to something, or notice that something needs done but you’re not sure how to do it yourselves, you’re the one who should ask questions of your teachers, coaches, etc.\\nIt’s your job to create access to information and to supplies that you need for various projects and activities. You are essentially the liaison between the group and the adult who oversees the entire group. Not sure where to get certain props for the musical? Discuss it with the teacher director. Suspect that your team would benefit from one extra practice per week? Bring it up to the coach.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be open-minded and flexible.\", \"描述\": \"A good leader will be willing to listen to the group when deciding if a certain rule or policy needs to be changed. Sometimes the way things have been done are outdated or could be done in a better way. Being open to change is always good.\\nThis step goes back to being a good listener. A leader sometimes needs to step back and just listen – to the complaints or the satisfactions of the group. What is working well? What needs to be changed? Just by listening you can learn a lot that can be brought up at future decision-making meetings.\\nThere may be uncomfortable or unexpected moments during your role as a leader. Someone may quit the group, want to make dramatic changes, or challenge your actions as the leader. How do you handle these moments? If you’re able to adapt and do your best to work it out, then you have part of what it takes to be a great leader!\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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How to Be a Good Listener
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1. Listening with an Open Mind
1-1. Place yourself in the other person's shoes.
It's easy to get lost in yourself and to only consider the impact of the other person's "telling" on you. But active listening is blocked by your inward thinking. Instead, you must open out and look at the problems from the other person's perspective: and assume that if you had been in their shoes, you would have come to the same conclusion, and not seen your way through the problem any faster than them. By being a good listener this can also help you become better friends with the person by getting to know more about them.
Remember that you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. This means that you should be listening more than you are talking. It is more beneficial to listen than it is to talk. When listening to people, engage in the conversation and make eye contact so they know that you care about what they are saying (even if you don't care, it is still polite). People who listen more are more observant and therefore more thoughtful and have a better understanding of things. Make sure you really are listening and not doing something else. Try to make sure you are completely focused on the person who is talking and not get sidetracked. Make sure you are making eye contact with the person, not someone else or something else.
Instead of immediately judging the person who is speaking, or coming up with a "solution" right away, just take the time to listen and to look at the situation from the other person's perspective. Think about how you would feel if someone was silently judging you. This will help you truly hear the person instead of forming your own opinions before you truly understand the situation at hand.
1-2. Avoid comparing the person's experiences to your own.
Though you may think that the best thing you can do to really listen is to compare the person's experiences to your own, this is far from the truth. If the person is talking about dealing with a death in the family, you can share some wisdom, but avoid saying, "That's exactly like how it was with me..." This can come off as offensive or insensitive especially when you compare something really serious to your own less-intense experiences, such as comparing the person's divorce to your three-month long relationship this may cause discomfort to the person talking.
You may think that this is the best way to be helpful and to approach the situation, but this type of thinking is actually reductive and can make the person feel like you're not really listening at all.
Avoid saying "I" or "me" a lot. This is a good indicator that you're focusing more on yourself than on the person's situation.
Of course, if the person knows that you've had a similar experience, then he or she may actively ask for your opinion. In this case, you can offer it, but be cautious about acting like your experiences are exactly like the other person's. This might seem as though you are just trying to make fake situations to seem helpful.
1-3. Don't try to help immediately.
Some people think that, when they're listening, they should also have their gears turning to find a quick and easy solution to the person's problem. Instead of this attitude, you should take what the person says at face value, and take the time to think of a "solution" when the person is speaking — and only if he or she is really looking for help in this way. If you start frantically thinking of all of the quick fixes for the person's problems, then you won't really be listening.
Focus on absorbing everything the person is saying to you. Only after that can you really try to help.
Limit distractions. We live in a society that is filled with so many distractions. We are constantly listening to so much noise that it’s a challenge to truly listen to another person. In order for you to be a good listener, you need to limit distractions during your conversation, whether it be the television, telephones or interruptions. It takes a mental decision to limit distractions when you are listening to someone else.
1-4. Sympathize.
Show them that you care by nodding at appropriate times so they know that you are listening. Also says little things such as "Yeah" when the person is talking about something that they want you to agree on (you can tell by their tone of voice) or "Wow" when the person talks about a tragedy or something bad done against them. Saying these words shows them that you are not only listening but also paying attention. Say these words at the appropriate times and softly so that you don't come off as overbearing and interrupting. Try to appeal to your sensitive side and comfort the person if in distress. But on the other hand most people do not want to be pitied. So comfort them but don't make yourself seem higher than them.
1-5. Remember what you've been told.
One important part of being a good listener is to actually absorb the information the person has told you. So, if the person is telling you about his problems with his best friend, Jake, and you've never met the guy before, you can at least remember his name so you can refer to him that way, making it seem like you're better acquainted with the situation. If you don't remember any names, details, or important events, then it won't sound like you're listening.
It's okay if you don't have a razor sharp memory. However, if you keep having to stop and ask for clarification or keep forgetting who everyone is, then yeah, you won't come off as a very good listener. You don't have to remember every little detail, but you don't want the person who is speaking to feel like they have to repeat themselves a million times, either.
1-6. Follow up.
Another important part of being a good listener is that you go beyond just hearing the person out having a conversation, and never thinking about it again. If you really want to show that you care, then you should ask the person about the situation the next time you're alone together, or even shoot him or her a text or give a phone call to see how the situation is progressing. If it's something serious like an impending divorce, a job search, or even a health complication, then it can be very nice to show that you care by checking in, even when you're not being asked to. Don't be put off however if they don't want to follow up, accept their decision but tell them you're always there to support them.
The person who talked to you might be touched that you made the effort to actually think about him or her beyond your conversation and to even check in to see how he or she is caring. This takes your listening skills to the next level.
Of course, there's a difference between following up and nagging the person. If the person talked to you about how she wants to quit her job, you probably don't want to send a text every day asking if she did it yet, or you'll be putting unneeded pressure on the situation and creating stress instead of helping.
1-7. Know what not to do.
Knowing what to avoid when you're trying to be a good listener can be almost as helpful as knowing what to do. If you want the speaker to take you seriously and to think that you are being respectful, then here are some general things to avoid:
Don't interrupt in the middle of a point.
Don't interrogate the person. Instead, gently ask questions when it's needed(i.e.between gaps or lulls when the person is not talking).
Don't try to change the subject, even if it's a little uncomfortable.
Avoid saying, "It's not the end of the world" or "You'll feel better in the morning." This just minimizes the person's problems and makes him or her feel bad. Make eye contact with the person so that they realize that you are interested and are listening.
2. Knowing What to Say
2-1. Be silent at first.
It might sound obvious and trite, but one of the biggest obstacles to listening is resisting the urge to voice impulsive thoughts. Likewise, many people falsely express empathy by sharing similar their own experiences. Both "gut" responses can be helpful, but they are usually overused and, ultimately, abused.
Put aside your own needs, and wait patiently for the other person to unfold their thoughts at their own pace and in their own way.
2-2. Reassure the person of your confidentiality.
If the person is telling you something pretty private or important, then you should make it clear that you're a trustworthy person who can keep their mouth shut. Say that the person can trust you, that whatever is said stays between you two, and that your word is your bond. If the person is unsure of whether or not you can really be trusted, then he or she will be less likely to open up. Also don't force anyone to open up to you as this makes them uncomfortable or angry.
Of course, when you say that what the person says will remain confidential, it should be true, unless there are circumstances that prevent you from keeping it to yourself, such as if the person is suicidal and you're deeply concerned. If you can't actually be trusted in general, though, then you'll never be a good listener.
2-3. Be encouraging when you do speak.
It's important to use empathetic sounding back at appropriate intervals during the conversation so the speaker doesn't feel like you're not listening at all. It's helpful to "summarize and restate" or "repeat and encourage" the main points. This will help the conversation feel fluid and will make the speaker less self-conscious about talking. Here's what you should do:
Repeat and encourage: Repeat some things the speaker said and, at the same time, provide positive feedback as encouragement. For example, you might say, "I can see that you didn't enjoy having to take the blame. I wouldn't have either." Go easy with this technique, though. Use the empathetic sound back as a nudge from time-to-time because if you overwork it, you will come across as patronizing.
Summarize and restate: It is highly useful to summarize your understanding of what the "teller" has said and to restate it in your own words. This reassures the speaker that you have truly been listening to what he or she is saying and that you "got it". It also provides the speaker with an opportunity to correct mistaken assumptions and misconceptions on your part.
Make sure to leave the door wide open with statements like, "I may be wrong, but..." or "...Correct me if I am wrong." This technique is especially useful when you find yourself getting frustrated or you sense that your listening focus is wavering.
2-4. Ask meaningful and empowering questions.
Refrain from probing or putting the other person on the defensive. Rather, aim to use questions as a means by which the speaker can begin to reach his or her own conclusions about the issues being raised. This can help the speaker make his or her own conclusions without sounding judgmental or too forceful. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Once you have shown empathetic listening, it is time to move into empowered listening: Re-frame the questions you ask. For example, "You didn't enjoy having to take the blame. But I cannot understand why you feel blamed rather than merely being asked not to do something that way."
Wording the question in this manner presents the speaker with a need to respond directly to your lack of grasping something. In the response process, the speaker should begin to move from a more emotional response to a more logical and constructive response.
2-5. Wait for the person to open up.
In the process of encouraging a constructive response, an active listener must be ever-so-patient and let the speaker acquire his or her full flow of thoughts, feelings, and ideas. These may, at first, start as a trickle and the full flow may take a long time to develop. If you press too early and ask too many personal, probing questions, that may actually have the opposite of the intended effect and may make the person feel defensive and reluctant to share any information.
Keep your patience and keep your place in the "teller's" shoes. It sometimes helps to imagine why the "teller" has worked into such a situation.
2-6. Do not interrupt with what you feel or think about the "telling".
Instead, wait for the other person to ask your opinion before breaking the flow of their discourse. Active listening requires the listener to shelve his or her own opinions temporarily and patiently await appropriate breaks in the conversation. When the conversation breaks, provide a summary or an empathetic concurrence.
If you interrupt the person too soon, then he or she will be frustrated and won't fully absorb what you're saying. The person will be eager to finish saying his or her part and you'll be causing a nuisance and a distraction.
Abstain from giving direct advice (unless you're asked for it). Instead, let the individual talk the situation out and find his or her own way. This empowers both the individual and you. It is the course most likely to result in beneficial change and self-understanding for the "teller" and for you.
2-7. Reassure the speaker.
Whatever the conclusion of the conversation, let the speaker know that you have been happy to listen and to be a sounding board. Make it clear that you are open to further discussion if need be, but that you will not pressure him or her at all. In addition, reassure the speaker of your intention to keep the discussion confidential. Even if the speaker is in a terrible situation and saying something like, "It's all going to be okay" seems completely inappropriate, you can still reassure the speaker by saying that you're there to listen and to help.
You can even pat the speaker's hand or knee, put an arm around him or her, or give another reassuring touch. Do whatever is appropriate to the situation. You don't want to overstep your bounds when it comes to touching.
Offer to assist with any solutions if you have the ability, time and expertise. Do not build up false hopes, though. If the only resource you can provide is to continue to be an active listener, make that very clear. This, in and of itself, this is an extremely valuable help.
2-8. When giving advice remember to make it neutral and not too influenced by your own experiences.
Think about what is best for the person in question rather than what you did although this may help.
3. Using Appropriate Body Language
3-1. Make eye contact.
Eye contact is important when you are listening. If you give your friend the impression you aren't interested and are distracted, they may never open up to you again. When it comes to being a good listener, it’s important for you to have eye contact with the other person. When someone is talking to you, focus directly on their eyes so that they will know with certainty that you are absorbing every single word. Even if the topic is not interesting to you, at least respect and truly listen to what the speaker has to say. Don't stare off in space.
Focus your eyes, ears and your thoughts only on him/her and become a good listener. Don't concentrate on thinking about what you will say next, but instead, focus fully on what the other person is saying. (Remember that it's about the person, not you.)
3-2. Give the speaker your full attention.
If you want to be a good listener, then it's important for you to create a conducive physical and mental space. Remove all distractions and confer all of your attention to the person who has something to say to you. Turn off communication devices (including cell phones) and arrange to talk in a place with no distractions. Once you are face-to-face, quiet your mind and pay attention to what the other person is telling.Show them that you are helpful.
Pick a place that is free of distractions or other people who might grab your attention. If you go to a coffee shop, make sure you're focused on the person who is speaking, not the interesting characters who walk in and out of the door.
If you're talking in a public place like a restaurant or a cafe, avoid sitting near a television that's on. Even if you're determined to give the person all of your attention, it can be tempting to take a quick look at the television, especially if your favorite team is playing.
3-3. Encourage the speaker with body language.
Nodding your head will indicate that you understand what the speaker is saying, and will encourage them to continue. Adopting body postures, positions and movements that are similar to the speaker (mirroring) will enable the speaker to relax and open up more. Try looking straight into their eyes. Not only does this show you are listening, but it shows you take real interest in what they are saying.
Another way to have encouraging body language is to turn your body toward the speaker. If you're turned away from the speaker, then it may look like you're itching to leave. If you cross your legs, for example, cross your leg toward the speaker instead of away.
Don't cross your arms over your chest, either. This will make you appear standoffish or skeptical even if you don't actually feel that way.
3-4. Listen actively to express your interest.
Active listening involves the entire body and face — both yours and that of the speaker. You can be quiet while still making it clear that you are hanging on to every word that the speaker is telling you. Here's how you can make the most of the situation by being an active listener:
Your words: Though you don't have to say, "Mmhmm," "I see," or "Right," every five seconds or it will begin to get annoying, you can throw in an encouraging phrase here and there to show that you're paying attention.If that person whom you are talking to really means something to you,then you will surely pay attention and help them sort out their problem if there is any.
Your expression: Look interested and meet the gaze of the speaker from time to time. Do not overwhelm the speaker by staring intently, but do reflect friendliness and openness to what you are listening to.
Read between the lines: Always be alert for things that have been left unsaid and for cues that can help you gauge the speaker's true feelings. Watch the facial and body expressions of the "teller" to try to gather all information you can, not just from the words. Imagine what kind of state of mind would have made you acquire such expressions, body language and volume.
Speak at approximately the same energy level as the other person. This way, they will know that the message is getting through and that there is no need to repeat.
3-5. Don't expect them to open up immediately.
Be patient and willing to just listen, without giving any advice.
Try to repeat what the other person is saying to confirm the exact meaning. Sometimes words can mean two different things. The best way to confirm and avoid misunderstanding between the conversationalists is to repeat what the other person is saying so that the other person knows you were listening and both of you have the same idea.
Consider their circumstances. If they are a sensitive person, don't give them "tough love."
Tips
Being a good listener is one of the most important skills if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships with people.[17]
X
Research source
If you're thinking of what to say next while the other person is talking, you're not listening. You have short-circuited your ability to help.
When you look at the person you are listening to, look into their eyes. This shows that you are 100% focused on them, and not distracted by other things going on. Soften your eyes and avoid staring and looks of disbelief. Be comfortable with what is said, insofar as is possible.
Warnings
Even if the story he/she is sharing is "too long" for you to remain interested, try your best to shake your head out of it and listen to what they're saying. You might not know but chances are you are going to be appreciated a lot for listening to what they have to say. It strengthens the bond of the relationship you both have.
Try to clear your head and give the other party your full attention; you do this by trying to focus as if your life depended on it
Don't just say "uh huh", "yes", or nod. People will think that you are too distracted to care and not actually listening.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Listening with an Open Mind\\n1-1. Place yourself in the other person's shoes.\\nIt's easy to get lost in yourself and to only consider the impact of the other person's \\\"telling\\\" on you. But active listening is blocked by your inward thinking. Instead, you must open out and look at the problems from the other person's perspective: and assume that if you had been in their shoes, you would have come to the same conclusion, and not seen your way through the problem any faster than them. By being a good listener this can also help you become better friends with the person by getting to know more about them.\\nRemember that you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. This means that you should be listening more than you are talking. It is more beneficial to listen than it is to talk. When listening to people, engage in the conversation and make eye contact so they know that you care about what they are saying (even if you don't care, it is still polite). People who listen more are more observant and therefore more thoughtful and have a better understanding of things. Make sure you really are listening and not doing something else. Try to make sure you are completely focused on the person who is talking and not get sidetracked. Make sure you are making eye contact with the person, not someone else or something else.\\nInstead of immediately judging the person who is speaking, or coming up with a \\\"solution\\\" right away, just take the time to listen and to look at the situation from the other person's perspective. Think about how you would feel if someone was silently judging you. This will help you truly hear the person instead of forming your own opinions before you truly understand the situation at hand.\\n1-2. Avoid comparing the person's experiences to your own.\\nThough you may think that the best thing you can do to really listen is to compare the person's experiences to your own, this is far from the truth. If the person is talking about dealing with a death in the family, you can share some wisdom, but avoid saying, \\\"That's exactly like how it was with me...\\\" This can come off as offensive or insensitive especially when you compare something really serious to your own less-intense experiences, such as comparing the person's divorce to your three-month long relationship this may cause discomfort to the person talking.\\nYou may think that this is the best way to be helpful and to approach the situation, but this type of thinking is actually reductive and can make the person feel like you're not really listening at all.\\nAvoid saying \\\"I\\\" or \\\"me\\\" a lot. This is a good indicator that you're focusing more on yourself than on the person's situation.\\nOf course, if the person knows that you've had a similar experience, then he or she may actively ask for your opinion. In this case, you can offer it, but be cautious about acting like your experiences are exactly like the other person's. This might seem as though you are just trying to make fake situations to seem helpful.\\n1-3. Don't try to help immediately.\\nSome people think that, when they're listening, they should also have their gears turning to find a quick and easy solution to the person's problem. Instead of this attitude, you should take what the person says at face value, and take the time to think of a \\\"solution\\\" when the person is speaking — and only if he or she is really looking for help in this way. If you start frantically thinking of all of the quick fixes for the person's problems, then you won't really be listening.\\nFocus on absorbing everything the person is saying to you. Only after that can you really try to help.\\nLimit distractions. We live in a society that is filled with so many distractions. We are constantly listening to so much noise that it’s a challenge to truly listen to another person. In order for you to be a good listener, you need to limit distractions during your conversation, whether it be the television, telephones or interruptions. It takes a mental decision to limit distractions when you are listening to someone else.\\n1-4. Sympathize.\\nShow them that you care by nodding at appropriate times so they know that you are listening. Also says little things such as \\\"Yeah\\\" when the person is talking about something that they want you to agree on (you can tell by their tone of voice) or \\\"Wow\\\" when the person talks about a tragedy or something bad done against them. Saying these words shows them that you are not only listening but also paying attention. Say these words at the appropriate times and softly so that you don't come off as overbearing and interrupting. Try to appeal to your sensitive side and comfort the person if in distress. But on the other hand most people do not want to be pitied. So comfort them but don't make yourself seem higher than them.\\n1-5. Remember what you've been told.\\nOne important part of being a good listener is to actually absorb the information the person has told you. So, if the person is telling you about his problems with his best friend, Jake, and you've never met the guy before, you can at least remember his name so you can refer to him that way, making it seem like you're better acquainted with the situation. If you don't remember any names, details, or important events, then it won't sound like you're listening.\\nIt's okay if you don't have a razor sharp memory. However, if you keep having to stop and ask for clarification or keep forgetting who everyone is, then yeah, you won't come off as a very good listener. You don't have to remember every little detail, but you don't want the person who is speaking to feel like they have to repeat themselves a million times, either.\\n1-6. Follow up.\\nAnother important part of being a good listener is that you go beyond just hearing the person out having a conversation, and never thinking about it again. If you really want to show that you care, then you should ask the person about the situation the next time you're alone together, or even shoot him or her a text or give a phone call to see how the situation is progressing. If it's something serious like an impending divorce, a job search, or even a health complication, then it can be very nice to show that you care by checking in, even when you're not being asked to. Don't be put off however if they don't want to follow up, accept their decision but tell them you're always there to support them.\\nThe person who talked to you might be touched that you made the effort to actually think about him or her beyond your conversation and to even check in to see how he or she is caring. This takes your listening skills to the next level.\\nOf course, there's a difference between following up and nagging the person. If the person talked to you about how she wants to quit her job, you probably don't want to send a text every day asking if she did it yet, or you'll be putting unneeded pressure on the situation and creating stress instead of helping.\\n1-7. Know what not to do.\\nKnowing what to avoid when you're trying to be a good listener can be almost as helpful as knowing what to do. If you want the speaker to take you seriously and to think that you are being respectful, then here are some general things to avoid:\\nDon't interrupt in the middle of a point.\\nDon't interrogate the person. Instead, gently ask questions when it's needed(i.e.between gaps or lulls when the person is not talking).\\nDon't try to change the subject, even if it's a little uncomfortable.\\nAvoid saying, \\\"It's not the end of the world\\\" or \\\"You'll feel better in the morning.\\\" This just minimizes the person's problems and makes him or her feel bad. Make eye contact with the person so that they realize that you are interested and are listening.\\n2. Knowing What to Say\\n2-1. Be silent at first.\\nIt might sound obvious and trite, but one of the biggest obstacles to listening is resisting the urge to voice impulsive thoughts. Likewise, many people falsely express empathy by sharing similar their own experiences. Both \\\"gut\\\" responses can be helpful, but they are usually overused and, ultimately, abused.\\nPut aside your own needs, and wait patiently for the other person to unfold their thoughts at their own pace and in their own way.\\n2-2. Reassure the person of your confidentiality.\\nIf the person is telling you something pretty private or important, then you should make it clear that you're a trustworthy person who can keep their mouth shut. Say that the person can trust you, that whatever is said stays between you two, and that your word is your bond. If the person is unsure of whether or not you can really be trusted, then he or she will be less likely to open up. Also don't force anyone to open up to you as this makes them uncomfortable or angry.\\nOf course, when you say that what the person says will remain confidential, it should be true, unless there are circumstances that prevent you from keeping it to yourself, such as if the person is suicidal and you're deeply concerned. If you can't actually be trusted in general, though, then you'll never be a good listener.\\n2-3. Be encouraging when you do speak.\\nIt's important to use empathetic sounding back at appropriate intervals during the conversation so the speaker doesn't feel like you're not listening at all. It's helpful to \\\"summarize and restate\\\" or \\\"repeat and encourage\\\" the main points. This will help the conversation feel fluid and will make the speaker less self-conscious about talking. Here's what you should do:\\n\\nRepeat and encourage: Repeat some things the speaker said and, at the same time, provide positive feedback as encouragement. For example, you might say, \\\"I can see that you didn't enjoy having to take the blame. I wouldn't have either.\\\" Go easy with this technique, though. Use the empathetic sound back as a nudge from time-to-time because if you overwork it, you will come across as patronizing.\\n\\nSummarize and restate: It is highly useful to summarize your understanding of what the \\\"teller\\\" has said and to restate it in your own words. This reassures the speaker that you have truly been listening to what he or she is saying and that you \\\"got it\\\". It also provides the speaker with an opportunity to correct mistaken assumptions and misconceptions on your part.\\nMake sure to leave the door wide open with statements like, \\\"I may be wrong, but...\\\" or \\\"...Correct me if I am wrong.\\\" This technique is especially useful when you find yourself getting frustrated or you sense that your listening focus is wavering.\\n2-4. Ask meaningful and empowering questions.\\nRefrain from probing or putting the other person on the defensive. Rather, aim to use questions as a means by which the speaker can begin to reach his or her own conclusions about the issues being raised. This can help the speaker make his or her own conclusions without sounding judgmental or too forceful. Here are some things to keep in mind:\\nOnce you have shown empathetic listening, it is time to move into empowered listening: Re-frame the questions you ask. For example, \\\"You didn't enjoy having to take the blame. But I cannot understand why you feel blamed rather than merely being asked not to do something that way.\\\"\\nWording the question in this manner presents the speaker with a need to respond directly to your lack of grasping something. In the response process, the speaker should begin to move from a more emotional response to a more logical and constructive response.\\n2-5. Wait for the person to open up.\\nIn the process of encouraging a constructive response, an active listener must be ever-so-patient and let the speaker acquire his or her full flow of thoughts, feelings, and ideas. These may, at first, start as a trickle and the full flow may take a long time to develop. If you press too early and ask too many personal, probing questions, that may actually have the opposite of the intended effect and may make the person feel defensive and reluctant to share any information.\\nKeep your patience and keep your place in the \\\"teller's\\\" shoes. It sometimes helps to imagine why the \\\"teller\\\" has worked into such a situation.\\n2-6. Do not interrupt with what you feel or think about the \\\"telling\\\".\\nInstead, wait for the other person to ask your opinion before breaking the flow of their discourse. Active listening requires the listener to shelve his or her own opinions temporarily and patiently await appropriate breaks in the conversation. When the conversation breaks, provide a summary or an empathetic concurrence.\\nIf you interrupt the person too soon, then he or she will be frustrated and won't fully absorb what you're saying. The person will be eager to finish saying his or her part and you'll be causing a nuisance and a distraction.\\nAbstain from giving direct advice (unless you're asked for it). Instead, let the individual talk the situation out and find his or her own way. This empowers both the individual and you. It is the course most likely to result in beneficial change and self-understanding for the \\\"teller\\\" and for you.\\n2-7. Reassure the speaker.\\nWhatever the conclusion of the conversation, let the speaker know that you have been happy to listen and to be a sounding board. Make it clear that you are open to further discussion if need be, but that you will not pressure him or her at all. In addition, reassure the speaker of your intention to keep the discussion confidential. Even if the speaker is in a terrible situation and saying something like, \\\"It's all going to be okay\\\" seems completely inappropriate, you can still reassure the speaker by saying that you're there to listen and to help.\\nYou can even pat the speaker's hand or knee, put an arm around him or her, or give another reassuring touch. Do whatever is appropriate to the situation. You don't want to overstep your bounds when it comes to touching.\\nOffer to assist with any solutions if you have the ability, time and expertise. Do not build up false hopes, though. If the only resource you can provide is to continue to be an active listener, make that very clear. This, in and of itself, this is an extremely valuable help.\\n2-8. When giving advice remember to make it neutral and not too influenced by your own experiences.\\nThink about what is best for the person in question rather than what you did although this may help.\\n3. Using Appropriate Body Language\\n3-1. Make eye contact.\\nEye contact is important when you are listening. If you give your friend the impression you aren't interested and are distracted, they may never open up to you again. When it comes to being a good listener, it’s important for you to have eye contact with the other person. When someone is talking to you, focus directly on their eyes so that they will know with certainty that you are absorbing every single word. Even if the topic is not interesting to you, at least respect and truly listen to what the speaker has to say. Don't stare off in space.\\nFocus your eyes, ears and your thoughts only on him/her and become a good listener. Don't concentrate on thinking about what you will say next, but instead, focus fully on what the other person is saying. (Remember that it's about the person, not you.)\\n3-2. Give the speaker your full attention.\\nIf you want to be a good listener, then it's important for you to create a conducive physical and mental space. Remove all distractions and confer all of your attention to the person who has something to say to you. Turn off communication devices (including cell phones) and arrange to talk in a place with no distractions. Once you are face-to-face, quiet your mind and pay attention to what the other person is telling.Show them that you are helpful.\\nPick a place that is free of distractions or other people who might grab your attention. If you go to a coffee shop, make sure you're focused on the person who is speaking, not the interesting characters who walk in and out of the door.\\nIf you're talking in a public place like a restaurant or a cafe, avoid sitting near a television that's on. Even if you're determined to give the person all of your attention, it can be tempting to take a quick look at the television, especially if your favorite team is playing.\\n3-3. Encourage the speaker with body language.\\nNodding your head will indicate that you understand what the speaker is saying, and will encourage them to continue. Adopting body postures, positions and movements that are similar to the speaker (mirroring) will enable the speaker to relax and open up more. Try looking straight into their eyes. Not only does this show you are listening, but it shows you take real interest in what they are saying.\\nAnother way to have encouraging body language is to turn your body toward the speaker. If you're turned away from the speaker, then it may look like you're itching to leave. If you cross your legs, for example, cross your leg toward the speaker instead of away.\\nDon't cross your arms over your chest, either. This will make you appear standoffish or skeptical even if you don't actually feel that way.\\n3-4. Listen actively to express your interest.\\nActive listening involves the entire body and face — both yours and that of the speaker. You can be quiet while still making it clear that you are hanging on to every word that the speaker is telling you. Here's how you can make the most of the situation by being an active listener:\\n\\nYour words: Though you don't have to say, \\\"Mmhmm,\\\" \\\"I see,\\\" or \\\"Right,\\\" every five seconds or it will begin to get annoying, you can throw in an encouraging phrase here and there to show that you're paying attention.If that person whom you are talking to really means something to you,then you will surely pay attention and help them sort out their problem if there is any.\\nYour expression: Look interested and meet the gaze of the speaker from time to time. Do not overwhelm the speaker by staring intently, but do reflect friendliness and openness to what you are listening to.\\nRead between the lines: Always be alert for things that have been left unsaid and for cues that can help you gauge the speaker's true feelings. Watch the facial and body expressions of the \\\"teller\\\" to try to gather all information you can, not just from the words. Imagine what kind of state of mind would have made you acquire such expressions, body language and volume.\\nSpeak at approximately the same energy level as the other person. This way, they will know that the message is getting through and that there is no need to repeat.\\n3-5. Don't expect them to open up immediately.\\nBe patient and willing to just listen, without giving any advice.\\nTry to repeat what the other person is saying to confirm the exact meaning. Sometimes words can mean two different things. The best way to confirm and avoid misunderstanding between the conversationalists is to repeat what the other person is saying so that the other person knows you were listening and both of you have the same idea.\\nConsider their circumstances. If they are a sensitive person, don't give them \\\"tough love.\\\"\\nTips\\nBeing a good listener is one of the most important skills if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships with people.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIf you're thinking of what to say next while the other person is talking, you're not listening. You have short-circuited your ability to help.\\nWhen you look at the person you are listening to, look into their eyes. This shows that you are 100% focused on them, and not distracted by other things going on. Soften your eyes and avoid staring and looks of disbelief. Be comfortable with what is said, insofar as is possible.\\nWarnings\\nEven if the story he/she is sharing is \\\"too long\\\" for you to remain interested, try your best to shake your head out of it and listen to what they're saying. You might not know but chances are you are going to be appreciated a lot for listening to what they have to say. It strengthens the bond of the relationship you both have.\\nTry to clear your head and give the other party your full attention; you do this by trying to focus as if your life depended on it\\nDon't just say \\\"uh huh\\\", \\\"yes\\\", or nod. People will think that you are too distracted to care and not actually listening.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good listener can help you to see the world through the eyes of others. It enriches your understanding and expands your capacity for empathy. It also increases your contact with the outside world by helping you improve your communication skills. Good listening skills can provide you with a deeper level of understanding about someone’s situation, and helps to know what words are best to use or which words to avoid. As simple as listening (and acknowledging) may seem, doing it well, particularly when disagreements arise, takes sincere effort and lots of practice. If you want to know how to be a good listener, read on to get started!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listening with an Open Mind\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Place yourself in the other person's shoes.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to get lost in yourself and to only consider the impact of the other person's \\\"telling\\\" on you. But active listening is blocked by your inward thinking. Instead, you must open out and look at the problems from the other person's perspective: and assume that if you had been in their shoes, you would have come to the same conclusion, and not seen your way through the problem any faster than them. By being a good listener this can also help you become better friends with the person by getting to know more about them.\\nRemember that you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. This means that you should be listening more than you are talking. It is more beneficial to listen than it is to talk. When listening to people, engage in the conversation and make eye contact so they know that you care about what they are saying (even if you don't care, it is still polite). People who listen more are more observant and therefore more thoughtful and have a better understanding of things. Make sure you really are listening and not doing something else. Try to make sure you are completely focused on the person who is talking and not get sidetracked. Make sure you are making eye contact with the person, not someone else or something else.\\nInstead of immediately judging the person who is speaking, or coming up with a \\\"solution\\\" right away, just take the time to listen and to look at the situation from the other person's perspective. Think about how you would feel if someone was silently judging you. This will help you truly hear the person instead of forming your own opinions before you truly understand the situation at hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid comparing the person's experiences to your own.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may think that the best thing you can do to really listen is to compare the person's experiences to your own, this is far from the truth. If the person is talking about dealing with a death in the family, you can share some wisdom, but avoid saying, \\\"That's exactly like how it was with me...\\\" This can come off as offensive or insensitive especially when you compare something really serious to your own less-intense experiences, such as comparing the person's divorce to your three-month long relationship this may cause discomfort to the person talking.\\nYou may think that this is the best way to be helpful and to approach the situation, but this type of thinking is actually reductive and can make the person feel like you're not really listening at all.\\nAvoid saying \\\"I\\\" or \\\"me\\\" a lot. This is a good indicator that you're focusing more on yourself than on the person's situation.\\nOf course, if the person knows that you've had a similar experience, then he or she may actively ask for your opinion. In this case, you can offer it, but be cautious about acting like your experiences are exactly like the other person's. This might seem as though you are just trying to make fake situations to seem helpful.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't try to help immediately.\", \"描述\": \"Some people think that, when they're listening, they should also have their gears turning to find a quick and easy solution to the person's problem. Instead of this attitude, you should take what the person says at face value, and take the time to think of a \\\"solution\\\" when the person is speaking — and only if he or she is really looking for help in this way. If you start frantically thinking of all of the quick fixes for the person's problems, then you won't really be listening.\\nFocus on absorbing everything the person is saying to you. Only after that can you really try to help.\\nLimit distractions. We live in a society that is filled with so many distractions. We are constantly listening to so much noise that it’s a challenge to truly listen to another person. In order for you to be a good listener, you need to limit distractions during your conversation, whether it be the television, telephones or interruptions. It takes a mental decision to limit distractions when you are listening to someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sympathize.\", \"描述\": \"Show them that you care by nodding at appropriate times so they know that you are listening. Also says little things such as \\\"Yeah\\\" when the person is talking about something that they want you to agree on (you can tell by their tone of voice) or \\\"Wow\\\" when the person talks about a tragedy or something bad done against them. Saying these words shows them that you are not only listening but also paying attention. Say these words at the appropriate times and softly so that you don't come off as overbearing and interrupting. Try to appeal to your sensitive side and comfort the person if in distress. But on the other hand most people do not want to be pitied. So comfort them but don't make yourself seem higher than them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remember what you've been told.\", \"描述\": \"One important part of being a good listener is to actually absorb the information the person has told you. So, if the person is telling you about his problems with his best friend, Jake, and you've never met the guy before, you can at least remember his name so you can refer to him that way, making it seem like you're better acquainted with the situation. If you don't remember any names, details, or important events, then it won't sound like you're listening.\\nIt's okay if you don't have a razor sharp memory. However, if you keep having to stop and ask for clarification or keep forgetting who everyone is, then yeah, you won't come off as a very good listener. You don't have to remember every little detail, but you don't want the person who is speaking to feel like they have to repeat themselves a million times, either.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Follow up.\", \"描述\": \"Another important part of being a good listener is that you go beyond just hearing the person out having a conversation, and never thinking about it again. If you really want to show that you care, then you should ask the person about the situation the next time you're alone together, or even shoot him or her a text or give a phone call to see how the situation is progressing. If it's something serious like an impending divorce, a job search, or even a health complication, then it can be very nice to show that you care by checking in, even when you're not being asked to. Don't be put off however if they don't want to follow up, accept their decision but tell them you're always there to support them.\\nThe person who talked to you might be touched that you made the effort to actually think about him or her beyond your conversation and to even check in to see how he or she is caring. This takes your listening skills to the next level.\\nOf course, there's a difference between following up and nagging the person. If the person talked to you about how she wants to quit her job, you probably don't want to send a text every day asking if she did it yet, or you'll be putting unneeded pressure on the situation and creating stress instead of helping.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Know what not to do.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing what to avoid when you're trying to be a good listener can be almost as helpful as knowing what to do. If you want the speaker to take you seriously and to think that you are being respectful, then here are some general things to avoid:\\nDon't interrupt in the middle of a point.\\nDon't interrogate the person. Instead, gently ask questions when it's needed(i.e.between gaps or lulls when the person is not talking).\\nDon't try to change the subject, even if it's a little uncomfortable.\\nAvoid saying, \\\"It's not the end of the world\\\" or \\\"You'll feel better in the morning.\\\" This just minimizes the person's problems and makes him or her feel bad. Make eye contact with the person so that they realize that you are interested and are listening.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Knowing What to Say\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be silent at first.\", \"描述\": \"It might sound obvious and trite, but one of the biggest obstacles to listening is resisting the urge to voice impulsive thoughts. Likewise, many people falsely express empathy by sharing similar their own experiences. Both \\\"gut\\\" responses can be helpful, but they are usually overused and, ultimately, abused.\\nPut aside your own needs, and wait patiently for the other person to unfold their thoughts at their own pace and in their own way.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reassure the person of your confidentiality.\", \"描述\": \"If the person is telling you something pretty private or important, then you should make it clear that you're a trustworthy person who can keep their mouth shut. Say that the person can trust you, that whatever is said stays between you two, and that your word is your bond. If the person is unsure of whether or not you can really be trusted, then he or she will be less likely to open up. Also don't force anyone to open up to you as this makes them uncomfortable or angry.\\nOf course, when you say that what the person says will remain confidential, it should be true, unless there are circumstances that prevent you from keeping it to yourself, such as if the person is suicidal and you're deeply concerned. If you can't actually be trusted in general, though, then you'll never be a good listener.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be encouraging when you do speak.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to use empathetic sounding back at appropriate intervals during the conversation so the speaker doesn't feel like you're not listening at all. It's helpful to \\\"summarize and restate\\\" or \\\"repeat and encourage\\\" the main points. This will help the conversation feel fluid and will make the speaker less self-conscious about talking. Here's what you should do:\\n\\nRepeat and encourage: Repeat some things the speaker said and, at the same time, provide positive feedback as encouragement. For example, you might say, \\\"I can see that you didn't enjoy having to take the blame. I wouldn't have either.\\\" Go easy with this technique, though. Use the empathetic sound back as a nudge from time-to-time because if you overwork it, you will come across as patronizing.\\n\\nSummarize and restate: It is highly useful to summarize your understanding of what the \\\"teller\\\" has said and to restate it in your own words. This reassures the speaker that you have truly been listening to what he or she is saying and that you \\\"got it\\\". It also provides the speaker with an opportunity to correct mistaken assumptions and misconceptions on your part.\\nMake sure to leave the door wide open with statements like, \\\"I may be wrong, but...\\\" or \\\"...Correct me if I am wrong.\\\" This technique is especially useful when you find yourself getting frustrated or you sense that your listening focus is wavering.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask meaningful and empowering questions.\", \"描述\": \"Refrain from probing or putting the other person on the defensive. Rather, aim to use questions as a means by which the speaker can begin to reach his or her own conclusions about the issues being raised. This can help the speaker make his or her own conclusions without sounding judgmental or too forceful. Here are some things to keep in mind:\\nOnce you have shown empathetic listening, it is time to move into empowered listening: Re-frame the questions you ask. For example, \\\"You didn't enjoy having to take the blame. But I cannot understand why you feel blamed rather than merely being asked not to do something that way.\\\"\\nWording the question in this manner presents the speaker with a need to respond directly to your lack of grasping something. In the response process, the speaker should begin to move from a more emotional response to a more logical and constructive response.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wait for the person to open up.\", \"描述\": \"In the process of encouraging a constructive response, an active listener must be ever-so-patient and let the speaker acquire his or her full flow of thoughts, feelings, and ideas. These may, at first, start as a trickle and the full flow may take a long time to develop. If you press too early and ask too many personal, probing questions, that may actually have the opposite of the intended effect and may make the person feel defensive and reluctant to share any information.\\nKeep your patience and keep your place in the \\\"teller's\\\" shoes. It sometimes helps to imagine why the \\\"teller\\\" has worked into such a situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Do not interrupt with what you feel or think about the \\\"telling\\\".\", \"描述\": \"Instead, wait for the other person to ask your opinion before breaking the flow of their discourse. Active listening requires the listener to shelve his or her own opinions temporarily and patiently await appropriate breaks in the conversation. When the conversation breaks, provide a summary or an empathetic concurrence.\\nIf you interrupt the person too soon, then he or she will be frustrated and won't fully absorb what you're saying. The person will be eager to finish saying his or her part and you'll be causing a nuisance and a distraction.\\nAbstain from giving direct advice (unless you're asked for it). Instead, let the individual talk the situation out and find his or her own way. This empowers both the individual and you. It is the course most likely to result in beneficial change and self-understanding for the \\\"teller\\\" and for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Reassure the speaker.\", \"描述\": \"Whatever the conclusion of the conversation, let the speaker know that you have been happy to listen and to be a sounding board. Make it clear that you are open to further discussion if need be, but that you will not pressure him or her at all. In addition, reassure the speaker of your intention to keep the discussion confidential. Even if the speaker is in a terrible situation and saying something like, \\\"It's all going to be okay\\\" seems completely inappropriate, you can still reassure the speaker by saying that you're there to listen and to help.\\nYou can even pat the speaker's hand or knee, put an arm around him or her, or give another reassuring touch. Do whatever is appropriate to the situation. You don't want to overstep your bounds when it comes to touching.\\nOffer to assist with any solutions if you have the ability, time and expertise. Do not build up false hopes, though. If the only resource you can provide is to continue to be an active listener, make that very clear. This, in and of itself, this is an extremely valuable help.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"When giving advice remember to make it neutral and not too influenced by your own experiences.\", \"描述\": \"Think about what is best for the person in question rather than what you did although this may help.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Appropriate Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Eye contact is important when you are listening. If you give your friend the impression you aren't interested and are distracted, they may never open up to you again. When it comes to being a good listener, it’s important for you to have eye contact with the other person. When someone is talking to you, focus directly on their eyes so that they will know with certainty that you are absorbing every single word. Even if the topic is not interesting to you, at least respect and truly listen to what the speaker has to say. Don't stare off in space.\\nFocus your eyes, ears and your thoughts only on him/her and become a good listener. Don't concentrate on thinking about what you will say next, but instead, focus fully on what the other person is saying. (Remember that it's about the person, not you.)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give the speaker your full attention.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good listener, then it's important for you to create a conducive physical and mental space. Remove all distractions and confer all of your attention to the person who has something to say to you. Turn off communication devices (including cell phones) and arrange to talk in a place with no distractions. Once you are face-to-face, quiet your mind and pay attention to what the other person is telling.Show them that you are helpful.\\nPick a place that is free of distractions or other people who might grab your attention. If you go to a coffee shop, make sure you're focused on the person who is speaking, not the interesting characters who walk in and out of the door.\\nIf you're talking in a public place like a restaurant or a cafe, avoid sitting near a television that's on. Even if you're determined to give the person all of your attention, it can be tempting to take a quick look at the television, especially if your favorite team is playing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Encourage the speaker with body language.\", \"描述\": \"Nodding your head will indicate that you understand what the speaker is saying, and will encourage them to continue. Adopting body postures, positions and movements that are similar to the speaker (mirroring) will enable the speaker to relax and open up more. Try looking straight into their eyes. Not only does this show you are listening, but it shows you take real interest in what they are saying.\\nAnother way to have encouraging body language is to turn your body toward the speaker. If you're turned away from the speaker, then it may look like you're itching to leave. If you cross your legs, for example, cross your leg toward the speaker instead of away.\\nDon't cross your arms over your chest, either. This will make you appear standoffish or skeptical even if you don't actually feel that way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen actively to express your interest.\", \"描述\": \"Active listening involves the entire body and face — both yours and that of the speaker. You can be quiet while still making it clear that you are hanging on to every word that the speaker is telling you. Here's how you can make the most of the situation by being an active listener:\\n\\nYour words: Though you don't have to say, \\\"Mmhmm,\\\" \\\"I see,\\\" or \\\"Right,\\\" every five seconds or it will begin to get annoying, you can throw in an encouraging phrase here and there to show that you're paying attention.If that person whom you are talking to really means something to you,then you will surely pay attention and help them sort out their problem if there is any.\\nYour expression: Look interested and meet the gaze of the speaker from time to time. Do not overwhelm the speaker by staring intently, but do reflect friendliness and openness to what you are listening to.\\nRead between the lines: Always be alert for things that have been left unsaid and for cues that can help you gauge the speaker's true feelings. Watch the facial and body expressions of the \\\"teller\\\" to try to gather all information you can, not just from the words. Imagine what kind of state of mind would have made you acquire such expressions, body language and volume.\\nSpeak at approximately the same energy level as the other person. This way, they will know that the message is getting through and that there is no need to repeat.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't expect them to open up immediately.\", \"描述\": \"Be patient and willing to just listen, without giving any advice.\\nTry to repeat what the other person is saying to confirm the exact meaning. Sometimes words can mean two different things. The best way to confirm and avoid misunderstanding between the conversationalists is to repeat what the other person is saying so that the other person knows you were listening and both of you have the same idea.\\nConsider their circumstances. If they are a sensitive person, don't give them \\\"tough love.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Being a good listener is one of the most important skills if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships with people.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"If you're thinking of what to say next while the other person is talking, you're not listening. You have short-circuited your ability to help.\\n\", \"When you look at the person you are listening to, look into their eyes. This shows that you are 100% focused on them, and not distracted by other things going on. Soften your eyes and avoid staring and looks of disbelief. Be comfortable with what is said, insofar as is possible.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Even if the story he/she is sharing is \\\"too long\\\" for you to remain interested, try your best to shake your head out of it and listen to what they're saying. You might not know but chances are you are going to be appreciated a lot for listening to what they have to say. It strengthens the bond of the relationship you both have.\\n\", \"Try to clear your head and give the other party your full attention; you do this by trying to focus as if your life depended on it\\n\", \"Don't just say \\\"uh huh\\\", \\\"yes\\\", or nod. People will think that you are too distracted to care and not actually listening.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,473 |
How to Be a Good Listener in Class
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1. Listening Well
1-1. Look at the teacher.
Good listening starts with good watching. When your teacher is talking, your eyes should be up front. Don't look out the window, or at the kids next to you, or at the phone you're trying to hide under your desk. Look at your teacher and what is being presented.
Look at the board at least, or find something at the front of the room to focus your eye on if you're bored and struggling to pay attention. Look forward, toward the front of the room.
1-2. Sit up
If you want to look like you're paying attention, sit up as straight as possible. Push your butt back in the chair and keep your back straight. Put your feet flat on the floor and your hips underneath you. If you're a creative person, do something creative like color or doodle. It will help you concentrate better on what is being presented.
Don't fiddle with things. You don't need to mess around with your hands. Just cross them in front of you or take notes.
1-3. Follow instructions.
When your teacher asks you to do something, do it. If you're supposed to get out your book and turn to a specific page, get out your book and turn to that page. If you're supposed to get into a group, get into a group with people around you as quickly as possible. Do it when you're asked, without messing around or hesitating.
At the same time, don't do things your'e not asked to do. Unless you're told to talk to your neighbors, no goofing around.
1-4. Ask questions when you're unsure.
Anytime you're unsure about what's going on, or if you have a follow-up question, ask it. Contribute to the conversation that's happening in class. Raise your hand and wait to be called on to ask questions properly. If you have a question, chances are someone else does too.
Respond when questions are asked, as well. If your teacher puts a question to the class, raise your hand if you have a good answer.
You don't have to answer every question. Responding a few times a day is enough. Let other people talk and give them a chance to contribute too.
1-5. Don't sit with your best friends.
It's difficult to stay focused and pay attention in class when you're friends are distracting you. It might seem like more fun to get through class while sitting next to a buddy, but that's exactly how you'll get into trouble and struggle. Instead, sit elsewhere and decide to hang out later.
If you still want to sit with your friends, sit in the front of the classroom so your friends will have to, too. It's hard to mess around when you're right next to the teacher.
1-6. Be prepared for class
When it's time to go to class, make sure you've got everything that you need ready to go, so you won't have to miss anything because you're struggling to catch up. You'll miss part of a lecture if you're trying to finish your homework before class starts. In general, you want to make sure you have, for each class:
Paper for notes, or notebooks
Pencils already sharpened or pens that work well
Books needed for class
Homework or assignments that are due
Glue, crayons, rulers, calculators, or other specialty stuff for a particular class
1-7. Be organized
Keeping your stuff organized for class will help you pay better attention. You can be calm and confident that you have everything you need to succeed.
Have a specific spot for your new notes, your old notes, your homework, and other stuff that's necessary for class. Some people like to keep a separate binder, while other like individual folders for each class. It's recommended that you have one notebook that you keep a to-do list in for all of your classes, so you can easily check off everything that you need to do each night.
1-8. Eat right and get plenty of sleep
Keeping your blood-sugar up will help you pay attention and listen in class. If you're hungry and feeling dragged down, your mind will wander and you'll really struggle to be a good listener in class.
Always eat breakfast. Focus on eating whole grains and fruits for breakfast, instead of something sugary that will result in a crash later in the day. Eat something that'll keep you full until lunch.
At lunch, eat a good meal. Too many students think a bag of chips and candy bar will get you through the day. If you're struggling to listen in class, make an effort to eat a full meal at lunch, or bring your own.
Get plenty of sleep. Students often stay up too late and have to wake up early for school. Make sure your bedtime is early enough that you can get at least eight hours of sleep.
1-9. Speak up if you're struggling.
Talk to your teacher, your counselor, or your parents if you're really having trouble following what's happening in class and paying attention. Learning disabilities can be corrected in a variety of ways, if you're having a problem. Chances are, your teacher already knows you are struggling and wants you to stop by after class.They want you to succeed, but you have to take the initiative.
Talk to your teacher about the possibility of recording your classes so you can review them later on. This will help you study for exams if you struggle to pay attention and take notes during class.
If you get in trouble regularly, talk to your teacher. It's important to let your teacher know that you want to do better and you're trying. Listen to what they say.
2. Remembering What You Hear
2-1. Listen to the ideas, don't try to catch every word.
Concentrate on understanding the broad concepts, but worry too much about listening to every single word. Listen for keywords and concepts that your teacher mentions, and pay attention to what's written on the board. Anything that the teacher took the time to write down on the board is extremely important. Also, anything that is repeated multiple times is very important.
It's ok if your mind wanders some while you're listening, your mind is wandering around the particular issue that you're talking about in class. If you start wondering what it was like in the era that you're talking about in history class, that's a good thing.
Don't get discouraged if you feel like you miss things. Just focus on the big idea, and trying to understand it.
2-2. Pay attention to visual cues and body language.
Lots of communication is non-verbal. That means that it's helpful to watch your teacher's body language to get some idea about what's important and what's not important, so you can pay attention to the most critical parts of the information.
If your teacher is standing up and talking really dynamically, it's probably important. If your teacher is droning on while seated, and doesn't seem super-interested, it might not be important.
2-3. Keep an open mind while you listen.
It's important to avoid judging the things that you're learning in class before you've had a chance to understand them. Sometimes, we hear something and automatically think, "Oh that's silly" or "I don't need to know that" or "That's confusing." After we've already decided, it becomes very difficult to actually learn anything about the subject. Instead, try to be receptive to what your teacher is saying, and assume that you'll find it interesting.
Try to come up with creative ways to learn. If you're in math class, don't imagine that you're learning boring math problems, imagine that you're studying to become an astronaut, or you're learning a new robotic language.
2-4. Visualize what the teacher is talking about.
In your mind, create a visual "movie" of what you're learning. Try to put the concepts and the images into a landscape and actually picture them happening.
If you're talking about the plot of a play you're reading, picture the characters actually doing what you're talking about.
If you're talking about biology, actually picture the microbes dividing and changing according to the processes you're discussing. Shrink yourself to their size and watch.
Even if you're talking about math, try to actually picture the concepts happening. Picture groups of objects like apples or potatoes getting bigger or smaller as you multiply and divide them in a set number. It makes it a lot easier to learn.
3. Taking Good Notes
3-1. Have good note-taking materials ready to go.
Have a different notebook for each class, and have some pencils or pens ready to go when you want to take notes. There are lots of different ways to note-take, but there's no wrong way. As long as you try to keep up and write down important ideas, being ready and taking notes is a good way of paying attention in class.
Keep your notes organized by subject. Write the date of the class and period at the top of each new page and then draw a line when you're done, or when you're finished with a particular topic and moving on to something else.
3-2. Write down notes even if you're not told to.
Some studies show that note-taking, even if you don't use the notes later, helps you to engage with what you're listening to and pay attention more. Just the act of writing things down helps you to pay attention and listen better.
Always write down notes when you're told to, or when your teacher writes something on the board. This is a good sign that you need to remember something for a test or for homework later.
3-3. Only write down key words.
Lots of school involves vocabulary. Understanding the concepts and the issues that you're studying will involve learning lots of new words. When you learn one, write it down in your notes, along with the definition, or other important information to remember about the topic.
Don't try to write down too much in your notes. It's not necessary to have a total record of everything your teacher says.
Any words that your teacher says a lot might be important to keep in mind. If there's not a clear definition, that makes a good chance for a question.
3-4. Try to write things in your own words.
When you write something in your own words, it'll help you to remember what you've learned. Translating your notes, or even just re-writing them is a good way of studying and helping you learn what you're talking about in class.
Sometimes, your notes can get kind of sloppy and re-copying your notes quickly afterward will ensure that you remember the lecture more clearly.
Re-copying notes is like learning each thing three times. You hear it, you write it, then you read it and copy it. Good way to study.
3-5. If you don't take notes, doodle.
Research shows that doodling, even if you're just doodling shapes, or pictures, or nothing in particular, helps you pay attention.
Doodling helps you grasp new concepts, retain information, and stay focused while you're listening.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Listening Well\\n1-1. Look at the teacher.\\nGood listening starts with good watching. When your teacher is talking, your eyes should be up front. Don't look out the window, or at the kids next to you, or at the phone you're trying to hide under your desk. Look at your teacher and what is being presented.\\nLook at the board at least, or find something at the front of the room to focus your eye on if you're bored and struggling to pay attention. Look forward, toward the front of the room.\\n1-2. Sit up\\nIf you want to look like you're paying attention, sit up as straight as possible. Push your butt back in the chair and keep your back straight. Put your feet flat on the floor and your hips underneath you. If you're a creative person, do something creative like color or doodle. It will help you concentrate better on what is being presented.\\nDon't fiddle with things. You don't need to mess around with your hands. Just cross them in front of you or take notes.\\n1-3. Follow instructions.\\nWhen your teacher asks you to do something, do it. If you're supposed to get out your book and turn to a specific page, get out your book and turn to that page. If you're supposed to get into a group, get into a group with people around you as quickly as possible. Do it when you're asked, without messing around or hesitating.\\nAt the same time, don't do things your'e not asked to do. Unless you're told to talk to your neighbors, no goofing around.\\n1-4. Ask questions when you're unsure.\\nAnytime you're unsure about what's going on, or if you have a follow-up question, ask it. Contribute to the conversation that's happening in class. Raise your hand and wait to be called on to ask questions properly. If you have a question, chances are someone else does too.\\nRespond when questions are asked, as well. If your teacher puts a question to the class, raise your hand if you have a good answer.\\nYou don't have to answer every question. Responding a few times a day is enough. Let other people talk and give them a chance to contribute too.\\n1-5. Don't sit with your best friends.\\nIt's difficult to stay focused and pay attention in class when you're friends are distracting you. It might seem like more fun to get through class while sitting next to a buddy, but that's exactly how you'll get into trouble and struggle. Instead, sit elsewhere and decide to hang out later.\\nIf you still want to sit with your friends, sit in the front of the classroom so your friends will have to, too. It's hard to mess around when you're right next to the teacher.\\n1-6. Be prepared for class\\nWhen it's time to go to class, make sure you've got everything that you need ready to go, so you won't have to miss anything because you're struggling to catch up. You'll miss part of a lecture if you're trying to finish your homework before class starts. In general, you want to make sure you have, for each class:\\nPaper for notes, or notebooks\\nPencils already sharpened or pens that work well\\nBooks needed for class\\nHomework or assignments that are due\\nGlue, crayons, rulers, calculators, or other specialty stuff for a particular class\\n1-7. Be organized\\nKeeping your stuff organized for class will help you pay better attention. You can be calm and confident that you have everything you need to succeed.\\nHave a specific spot for your new notes, your old notes, your homework, and other stuff that's necessary for class. Some people like to keep a separate binder, while other like individual folders for each class. It's recommended that you have one notebook that you keep a to-do list in for all of your classes, so you can easily check off everything that you need to do each night.\\n1-8. Eat right and get plenty of sleep\\nKeeping your blood-sugar up will help you pay attention and listen in class. If you're hungry and feeling dragged down, your mind will wander and you'll really struggle to be a good listener in class.\\nAlways eat breakfast. Focus on eating whole grains and fruits for breakfast, instead of something sugary that will result in a crash later in the day. Eat something that'll keep you full until lunch.\\nAt lunch, eat a good meal. Too many students think a bag of chips and candy bar will get you through the day. If you're struggling to listen in class, make an effort to eat a full meal at lunch, or bring your own.\\nGet plenty of sleep. Students often stay up too late and have to wake up early for school. Make sure your bedtime is early enough that you can get at least eight hours of sleep.\\n1-9. Speak up if you're struggling.\\nTalk to your teacher, your counselor, or your parents if you're really having trouble following what's happening in class and paying attention. Learning disabilities can be corrected in a variety of ways, if you're having a problem. Chances are, your teacher already knows you are struggling and wants you to stop by after class.They want you to succeed, but you have to take the initiative.\\nTalk to your teacher about the possibility of recording your classes so you can review them later on. This will help you study for exams if you struggle to pay attention and take notes during class.\\nIf you get in trouble regularly, talk to your teacher. It's important to let your teacher know that you want to do better and you're trying. Listen to what they say.\\n2. Remembering What You Hear\\n2-1. Listen to the ideas, don't try to catch every word.\\nConcentrate on understanding the broad concepts, but worry too much about listening to every single word. Listen for keywords and concepts that your teacher mentions, and pay attention to what's written on the board. Anything that the teacher took the time to write down on the board is extremely important. Also, anything that is repeated multiple times is very important.\\nIt's ok if your mind wanders some while you're listening, your mind is wandering around the particular issue that you're talking about in class. If you start wondering what it was like in the era that you're talking about in history class, that's a good thing.\\nDon't get discouraged if you feel like you miss things. Just focus on the big idea, and trying to understand it.\\n2-2. Pay attention to visual cues and body language.\\nLots of communication is non-verbal. That means that it's helpful to watch your teacher's body language to get some idea about what's important and what's not important, so you can pay attention to the most critical parts of the information.\\nIf your teacher is standing up and talking really dynamically, it's probably important. If your teacher is droning on while seated, and doesn't seem super-interested, it might not be important.\\n2-3. Keep an open mind while you listen.\\nIt's important to avoid judging the things that you're learning in class before you've had a chance to understand them. Sometimes, we hear something and automatically think, \\\"Oh that's silly\\\" or \\\"I don't need to know that\\\" or \\\"That's confusing.\\\" After we've already decided, it becomes very difficult to actually learn anything about the subject. Instead, try to be receptive to what your teacher is saying, and assume that you'll find it interesting.\\nTry to come up with creative ways to learn. If you're in math class, don't imagine that you're learning boring math problems, imagine that you're studying to become an astronaut, or you're learning a new robotic language.\\n2-4. Visualize what the teacher is talking about.\\nIn your mind, create a visual \\\"movie\\\" of what you're learning. Try to put the concepts and the images into a landscape and actually picture them happening.\\nIf you're talking about the plot of a play you're reading, picture the characters actually doing what you're talking about.\\nIf you're talking about biology, actually picture the microbes dividing and changing according to the processes you're discussing. Shrink yourself to their size and watch.\\nEven if you're talking about math, try to actually picture the concepts happening. Picture groups of objects like apples or potatoes getting bigger or smaller as you multiply and divide them in a set number. It makes it a lot easier to learn.\\n3. Taking Good Notes\\n3-1. Have good note-taking materials ready to go.\\nHave a different notebook for each class, and have some pencils or pens ready to go when you want to take notes. There are lots of different ways to note-take, but there's no wrong way. As long as you try to keep up and write down important ideas, being ready and taking notes is a good way of paying attention in class.\\nKeep your notes organized by subject. Write the date of the class and period at the top of each new page and then draw a line when you're done, or when you're finished with a particular topic and moving on to something else.\\n3-2. Write down notes even if you're not told to.\\nSome studies show that note-taking, even if you don't use the notes later, helps you to engage with what you're listening to and pay attention more. Just the act of writing things down helps you to pay attention and listen better.\\nAlways write down notes when you're told to, or when your teacher writes something on the board. This is a good sign that you need to remember something for a test or for homework later.\\n3-3. Only write down key words.\\nLots of school involves vocabulary. Understanding the concepts and the issues that you're studying will involve learning lots of new words. When you learn one, write it down in your notes, along with the definition, or other important information to remember about the topic.\\nDon't try to write down too much in your notes. It's not necessary to have a total record of everything your teacher says.\\nAny words that your teacher says a lot might be important to keep in mind. If there's not a clear definition, that makes a good chance for a question.\\n3-4. Try to write things in your own words.\\nWhen you write something in your own words, it'll help you to remember what you've learned. Translating your notes, or even just re-writing them is a good way of studying and helping you learn what you're talking about in class.\\nSometimes, your notes can get kind of sloppy and re-copying your notes quickly afterward will ensure that you remember the lecture more clearly.\\nRe-copying notes is like learning each thing three times. You hear it, you write it, then you read it and copy it. Good way to study.\\n3-5. If you don't take notes, doodle.\\nResearch shows that doodling, even if you're just doodling shapes, or pictures, or nothing in particular, helps you pay attention.\\nDoodling helps you grasp new concepts, retain information, and stay focused while you're listening.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good student means being a good listener. Whether you're a young student or entering college, it's important to learn to pay attention in class and take good notes that will help you succeed. Learn to listen well and set yourself up for success by avoiding distractions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listening Well\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look at the teacher.\", \"描述\": \"Good listening starts with good watching. When your teacher is talking, your eyes should be up front. Don't look out the window, or at the kids next to you, or at the phone you're trying to hide under your desk. Look at your teacher and what is being presented.\\nLook at the board at least, or find something at the front of the room to focus your eye on if you're bored and struggling to pay attention. Look forward, toward the front of the room.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sit up\", \"描述\": \"If you want to look like you're paying attention, sit up as straight as possible. Push your butt back in the chair and keep your back straight. Put your feet flat on the floor and your hips underneath you. If you're a creative person, do something creative like color or doodle. It will help you concentrate better on what is being presented.\\nDon't fiddle with things. You don't need to mess around with your hands. Just cross them in front of you or take notes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Follow instructions.\", \"描述\": \"When your teacher asks you to do something, do it. If you're supposed to get out your book and turn to a specific page, get out your book and turn to that page. If you're supposed to get into a group, get into a group with people around you as quickly as possible. Do it when you're asked, without messing around or hesitating.\\nAt the same time, don't do things your'e not asked to do. Unless you're told to talk to your neighbors, no goofing around.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask questions when you're unsure.\", \"描述\": \"Anytime you're unsure about what's going on, or if you have a follow-up question, ask it. Contribute to the conversation that's happening in class. Raise your hand and wait to be called on to ask questions properly. If you have a question, chances are someone else does too.\\nRespond when questions are asked, as well. If your teacher puts a question to the class, raise your hand if you have a good answer.\\nYou don't have to answer every question. Responding a few times a day is enough. Let other people talk and give them a chance to contribute too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't sit with your best friends.\", \"描述\": \"It's difficult to stay focused and pay attention in class when you're friends are distracting you. It might seem like more fun to get through class while sitting next to a buddy, but that's exactly how you'll get into trouble and struggle. Instead, sit elsewhere and decide to hang out later.\\nIf you still want to sit with your friends, sit in the front of the classroom so your friends will have to, too. It's hard to mess around when you're right next to the teacher.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for class\", \"描述\": \"When it's time to go to class, make sure you've got everything that you need ready to go, so you won't have to miss anything because you're struggling to catch up. You'll miss part of a lecture if you're trying to finish your homework before class starts. In general, you want to make sure you have, for each class:\\nPaper for notes, or notebooks\\nPencils already sharpened or pens that work well\\nBooks needed for class\\nHomework or assignments that are due\\nGlue, crayons, rulers, calculators, or other specialty stuff for a particular class\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be organized\", \"描述\": \"Keeping your stuff organized for class will help you pay better attention. You can be calm and confident that you have everything you need to succeed.\\nHave a specific spot for your new notes, your old notes, your homework, and other stuff that's necessary for class. Some people like to keep a separate binder, while other like individual folders for each class. It's recommended that you have one notebook that you keep a to-do list in for all of your classes, so you can easily check off everything that you need to do each night.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Eat right and get plenty of sleep\", \"描述\": \"Keeping your blood-sugar up will help you pay attention and listen in class. If you're hungry and feeling dragged down, your mind will wander and you'll really struggle to be a good listener in class.\\nAlways eat breakfast. Focus on eating whole grains and fruits for breakfast, instead of something sugary that will result in a crash later in the day. Eat something that'll keep you full until lunch.\\nAt lunch, eat a good meal. Too many students think a bag of chips and candy bar will get you through the day. If you're struggling to listen in class, make an effort to eat a full meal at lunch, or bring your own.\\nGet plenty of sleep. Students often stay up too late and have to wake up early for school. Make sure your bedtime is early enough that you can get at least eight hours of sleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Speak up if you're struggling.\", \"描述\": \"Talk to your teacher, your counselor, or your parents if you're really having trouble following what's happening in class and paying attention. Learning disabilities can be corrected in a variety of ways, if you're having a problem. Chances are, your teacher already knows you are struggling and wants you to stop by after class.They want you to succeed, but you have to take the initiative.\\nTalk to your teacher about the possibility of recording your classes so you can review them later on. This will help you study for exams if you struggle to pay attention and take notes during class.\\nIf you get in trouble regularly, talk to your teacher. It's important to let your teacher know that you want to do better and you're trying. Listen to what they say.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remembering What You Hear\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to the ideas, don't try to catch every word.\", \"描述\": \"Concentrate on understanding the broad concepts, but worry too much about listening to every single word. Listen for keywords and concepts that your teacher mentions, and pay attention to what's written on the board. Anything that the teacher took the time to write down on the board is extremely important. Also, anything that is repeated multiple times is very important.\\nIt's ok if your mind wanders some while you're listening, your mind is wandering around the particular issue that you're talking about in class. If you start wondering what it was like in the era that you're talking about in history class, that's a good thing.\\nDon't get discouraged if you feel like you miss things. Just focus on the big idea, and trying to understand it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to visual cues and body language.\", \"描述\": \"Lots of communication is non-verbal. That means that it's helpful to watch your teacher's body language to get some idea about what's important and what's not important, so you can pay attention to the most critical parts of the information.\\nIf your teacher is standing up and talking really dynamically, it's probably important. If your teacher is droning on while seated, and doesn't seem super-interested, it might not be important.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep an open mind while you listen.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to avoid judging the things that you're learning in class before you've had a chance to understand them. Sometimes, we hear something and automatically think, \\\"Oh that's silly\\\" or \\\"I don't need to know that\\\" or \\\"That's confusing.\\\" After we've already decided, it becomes very difficult to actually learn anything about the subject. Instead, try to be receptive to what your teacher is saying, and assume that you'll find it interesting.\\nTry to come up with creative ways to learn. If you're in math class, don't imagine that you're learning boring math problems, imagine that you're studying to become an astronaut, or you're learning a new robotic language.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Visualize what the teacher is talking about.\", \"描述\": \"In your mind, create a visual \\\"movie\\\" of what you're learning. Try to put the concepts and the images into a landscape and actually picture them happening.\\nIf you're talking about the plot of a play you're reading, picture the characters actually doing what you're talking about.\\nIf you're talking about biology, actually picture the microbes dividing and changing according to the processes you're discussing. Shrink yourself to their size and watch.\\nEven if you're talking about math, try to actually picture the concepts happening. Picture groups of objects like apples or potatoes getting bigger or smaller as you multiply and divide them in a set number. It makes it a lot easier to learn.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Taking Good Notes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have good note-taking materials ready to go.\", \"描述\": \"Have a different notebook for each class, and have some pencils or pens ready to go when you want to take notes. There are lots of different ways to note-take, but there's no wrong way. As long as you try to keep up and write down important ideas, being ready and taking notes is a good way of paying attention in class.\\nKeep your notes organized by subject. Write the date of the class and period at the top of each new page and then draw a line when you're done, or when you're finished with a particular topic and moving on to something else.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write down notes even if you're not told to.\", \"描述\": \"Some studies show that note-taking, even if you don't use the notes later, helps you to engage with what you're listening to and pay attention more. Just the act of writing things down helps you to pay attention and listen better.\\nAlways write down notes when you're told to, or when your teacher writes something on the board. This is a good sign that you need to remember something for a test or for homework later.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Only write down key words.\", \"描述\": \"Lots of school involves vocabulary. Understanding the concepts and the issues that you're studying will involve learning lots of new words. When you learn one, write it down in your notes, along with the definition, or other important information to remember about the topic.\\nDon't try to write down too much in your notes. It's not necessary to have a total record of everything your teacher says.\\nAny words that your teacher says a lot might be important to keep in mind. If there's not a clear definition, that makes a good chance for a question.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try to write things in your own words.\", \"描述\": \"When you write something in your own words, it'll help you to remember what you've learned. Translating your notes, or even just re-writing them is a good way of studying and helping you learn what you're talking about in class.\\nSometimes, your notes can get kind of sloppy and re-copying your notes quickly afterward will ensure that you remember the lecture more clearly.\\nRe-copying notes is like learning each thing three times. You hear it, you write it, then you read it and copy it. Good way to study.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"If you don't take notes, doodle.\", \"描述\": \"Research shows that doodling, even if you're just doodling shapes, or pictures, or nothing in particular, helps you pay attention.\\nDoodling helps you grasp new concepts, retain information, and stay focused while you're listening.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,474 |
How to Be a Good Listener to Your Family
|
1. Listening Actively
1-1. Stay in the present.
When listening to a family member, do not let your mind wander to other things. It's important to strive to stay in the present to make your family member feel heard and valued.
Avoid distractions when talking to a family member. Put your phone away and give them your full attention.
Never think about other things when someone is talking. Instead, focus only on what's being said. If you feel your mind wandering, return your thoughts to the speakers words.
1-2. Focus on the speaker's words and not what you'll say next.
When talking to someone, you often are focusing on what you're going to say next. This tendency can can get more intense when talking to a family member. If you're, say, discussing a family problem or disagreement, you may be eager to share your thoughts. However, do not think about how you feel or wish to respond. Focus only on the speaker and their thoughts and opinions on the matter.
You can think of how you will respond later. Now, pay attention to what is being said. Make understanding your family member's perspective your priority.
Remember, you will be better equipped to think of a thoughtful response if you actually understand what's being said. Communication will be better overall if you are able to truly understand the other person's point of view.
Make sure that you really hear what they're saying. You can even summarize what they've said, rather than adding your own thoughts right away. You could say, "It's sounds like you're worried about your test results, even though the doctor says everything will be okay."
1-3. Show you're listening using non-verbal cues.
You want the speaker to feel valued. Make sure to show you're listening. You can convey you're paying attention via non-verbal cues. Nod as the speaker talks, smiles and laugh when appropriate, and maintain eye contact.
1-4. Make sure the speaker has finished talking before you talk.
It's okay to embrace a pause. A couple of seconds of silence in a conversation is not a bad thing, and allows the speaker a chance to fully express themselves. Instead of immediately launching into your response, pause for a moment after the speaker finishes talking. This will allow you to make sure they're completely finished talking.
People have a natural tendency to pause when they speak. If you notice the speaker has paused, do not assume they're done talking. Give them a few seconds before you respond.
If the speaker does not start talking again after a few seconds have passed, it's safe to assume they've finished talking.
1-5. Ask questions for clarification.
Part of listening is understanding. If there's anything the speaker said you did not understand, ask. When someone finishes talking, ask for clarification if necessary. This will convey you are truly listening to your family member and value their perspective.
Ask questions that encourage open discussion. For example, "What do you think of the situation?" and "Where do you think we should go from here?"
Avoid asking "why" questions. These can come off as judgmental and make the speaker feel defensive. For example, don't ask, "Why did you decide to take that job?" Instead ask, "How did you come to that decision?"
2. Communicating Effectively
2-1. Restate what has been said.
Briefly summarizing what the speaker has said can go a long way towards effective communication. Everyone wants to feel valued and heard, so reiterating a family member's point can convey you were listening. It can also give the family member in question a chance to hear your interpretation of your words, and clarify as necessary.
Try to briefly paraphrase what you heard when the speaker finishes. For example, "So, it sounds to me like you're a little frustrated with mom right now because you feel like she's not treating you like an adult."
This can help you make sure you understood the speaker. It will really show you're listening and allow you and your family to communicate better.
2-2. Help family members summarize their experiences.
You want to help someone figure what they're feeling and why. After listening, try to help your family member summarize their experience.
For example, start with something like, "Okay, let me make sure I'm clear on what you're saying."
Then, ask questions to help your family member frame their experience. For example, "You're upset that mom gives unsolicited advice on your car insurance. How would you say you feel about that? I'm sensing frustration." Helping a family member put a label on their feelings can help them better understand a situation.
2-3. Reflect on what's been said.
After allowing a family member to talk, reflect briefly on the subject. Try to figure out not just what's being said, but why it matters. For example, say things like "I feel like this is really important to you" or "I'm getting a sense this is something we should all talk about as a family."
2-4. Use "I"-statements when it's your turn to talk.
Family situations can be complicated. You may sometimes disagree or take issue with what's being said. When disagreements arise, use "I"-statements. These minimize objective blame as they place the focus on your personal feelings over an objective assessment.
An "I"-statement has three parts. It begins with "I feel..." after which you immediately state your feelings. Then, you state what led to those feelings. Finally, you explain why you feel the way you do.
If you disagree with a family member, avoid framing your feelings in a judgmental manner. For example, "Mom is just trying to help and you know you've had problems with money in the past. You're really frustrating me."
Instead, reframe that sentiment using an "I"-statement. For example, "I feel frustrated because you're angry at mom when she's just trying to help because I think her concerns are legitimate and she does care about you."
2-5. Accept you don't always have to solve someone's problems.
With family, you're often inclined to help. However, you can't solve another person's problems. Oftentimes, a family member just wants someone listen and empathize. Allow the person to talk and resist the urge to jump in and provide your two cents on the issue.
You could ask a reflexive question. For example, "Do you think it was possible that she was just concerned?"
3. Avoiding Negative Habits
3-1. Do not interrupt.
Interrupting can put the breaks on effective conversation. Always allow a few seconds of silence after someone finishes talking before offering your response. This allows you to make sure the speaker is done talking.
Do not talk over someone either. No matter how passionately you feel about a subject, do not start talking until the other person has finished.
3-2. Refrain from offering advice.
Unless you are explicitly asked, do not offer advice. Unsolicited advice can make it seem like you're not really listening. You're only hearing what you want, and offering advice in response. If someone just wants to talk, refrain from trying to tell them what to do.
3-3. Do not change the subject prematurely.
Never change the subject before the speaker has gotten their words out. Even if a subject makes you uncomfortable, it's important you let the speaker express themselves.
If there's family drama, you may be tempted to hurry the speaker. For example, if they talk about how you talked to your father last week, you may start talking about something you saw on TV that night.
Avoid doing this. Part of communicating with your family is talking about difficult subjects at times. You need to allow conversations to flow where they will, even if a topic upsets you.
3-4. Avoid hurrying the speaker.
Never rush the person talking. Do not interject with your interpretation before the speaker is finished just to hurry the speaker along. Never say things like, "Can you get to the point?" This will make it seem like you're not invested in the conversation.
3-5. Refrain from judgment.
Even if you're frustrated or angry with someone, try to cultivate empathy when listening. Try to understand how the person feels and why. It's never a good idea to listen with judgment, as this will reduce your ability to fully communicate. Even if you disagree with someone's actions or opinions, avoid judgment.
It's helpful to hear the other person out, as it will help you better understand where they're coming from.
Tips
If you can see the speaker is clearly getting uncomfortable when talking about the subject, simply allow them to stop talking.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Listening Actively\\n1-1. Stay in the present.\\nWhen listening to a family member, do not let your mind wander to other things. It's important to strive to stay in the present to make your family member feel heard and valued.\\nAvoid distractions when talking to a family member. Put your phone away and give them your full attention.\\nNever think about other things when someone is talking. Instead, focus only on what's being said. If you feel your mind wandering, return your thoughts to the speakers words.\\n1-2. Focus on the speaker's words and not what you'll say next.\\nWhen talking to someone, you often are focusing on what you're going to say next. This tendency can can get more intense when talking to a family member. If you're, say, discussing a family problem or disagreement, you may be eager to share your thoughts. However, do not think about how you feel or wish to respond. Focus only on the speaker and their thoughts and opinions on the matter.\\nYou can think of how you will respond later. Now, pay attention to what is being said. Make understanding your family member's perspective your priority.\\nRemember, you will be better equipped to think of a thoughtful response if you actually understand what's being said. Communication will be better overall if you are able to truly understand the other person's point of view.\\nMake sure that you really hear what they're saying. You can even summarize what they've said, rather than adding your own thoughts right away. You could say, \\\"It's sounds like you're worried about your test results, even though the doctor says everything will be okay.\\\"\\n1-3. Show you're listening using non-verbal cues.\\nYou want the speaker to feel valued. Make sure to show you're listening. You can convey you're paying attention via non-verbal cues. Nod as the speaker talks, smiles and laugh when appropriate, and maintain eye contact.\\n1-4. Make sure the speaker has finished talking before you talk.\\nIt's okay to embrace a pause. A couple of seconds of silence in a conversation is not a bad thing, and allows the speaker a chance to fully express themselves. Instead of immediately launching into your response, pause for a moment after the speaker finishes talking. This will allow you to make sure they're completely finished talking.\\nPeople have a natural tendency to pause when they speak. If you notice the speaker has paused, do not assume they're done talking. Give them a few seconds before you respond.\\nIf the speaker does not start talking again after a few seconds have passed, it's safe to assume they've finished talking.\\n1-5. Ask questions for clarification.\\nPart of listening is understanding. If there's anything the speaker said you did not understand, ask. When someone finishes talking, ask for clarification if necessary. This will convey you are truly listening to your family member and value their perspective.\\nAsk questions that encourage open discussion. For example, \\\"What do you think of the situation?\\\" and \\\"Where do you think we should go from here?\\\"\\nAvoid asking \\\"why\\\" questions. These can come off as judgmental and make the speaker feel defensive. For example, don't ask, \\\"Why did you decide to take that job?\\\" Instead ask, \\\"How did you come to that decision?\\\"\\n2. Communicating Effectively\\n2-1. Restate what has been said.\\nBriefly summarizing what the speaker has said can go a long way towards effective communication. Everyone wants to feel valued and heard, so reiterating a family member's point can convey you were listening. It can also give the family member in question a chance to hear your interpretation of your words, and clarify as necessary.\\nTry to briefly paraphrase what you heard when the speaker finishes. For example, \\\"So, it sounds to me like you're a little frustrated with mom right now because you feel like she's not treating you like an adult.\\\"\\nThis can help you make sure you understood the speaker. It will really show you're listening and allow you and your family to communicate better.\\n2-2. Help family members summarize their experiences.\\nYou want to help someone figure what they're feeling and why. After listening, try to help your family member summarize their experience.\\nFor example, start with something like, \\\"Okay, let me make sure I'm clear on what you're saying.\\\"\\nThen, ask questions to help your family member frame their experience. For example, \\\"You're upset that mom gives unsolicited advice on your car insurance. How would you say you feel about that? I'm sensing frustration.\\\" Helping a family member put a label on their feelings can help them better understand a situation.\\n2-3. Reflect on what's been said.\\nAfter allowing a family member to talk, reflect briefly on the subject. Try to figure out not just what's being said, but why it matters. For example, say things like \\\"I feel like this is really important to you\\\" or \\\"I'm getting a sense this is something we should all talk about as a family.\\\"\\n2-4. Use \\\"I\\\"-statements when it's your turn to talk.\\nFamily situations can be complicated. You may sometimes disagree or take issue with what's being said. When disagreements arise, use \\\"I\\\"-statements. These minimize objective blame as they place the focus on your personal feelings over an objective assessment.\\nAn \\\"I\\\"-statement has three parts. It begins with \\\"I feel...\\\" after which you immediately state your feelings. Then, you state what led to those feelings. Finally, you explain why you feel the way you do.\\nIf you disagree with a family member, avoid framing your feelings in a judgmental manner. For example, \\\"Mom is just trying to help and you know you've had problems with money in the past. You're really frustrating me.\\\"\\nInstead, reframe that sentiment using an \\\"I\\\"-statement. For example, \\\"I feel frustrated because you're angry at mom when she's just trying to help because I think her concerns are legitimate and she does care about you.\\\"\\n2-5. Accept you don't always have to solve someone's problems.\\nWith family, you're often inclined to help. However, you can't solve another person's problems. Oftentimes, a family member just wants someone listen and empathize. Allow the person to talk and resist the urge to jump in and provide your two cents on the issue.\\nYou could ask a reflexive question. For example, \\\"Do you think it was possible that she was just concerned?\\\"\\n3. Avoiding Negative Habits\\n3-1. Do not interrupt.\\nInterrupting can put the breaks on effective conversation. Always allow a few seconds of silence after someone finishes talking before offering your response. This allows you to make sure the speaker is done talking.\\nDo not talk over someone either. No matter how passionately you feel about a subject, do not start talking until the other person has finished.\\n3-2. Refrain from offering advice.\\nUnless you are explicitly asked, do not offer advice. Unsolicited advice can make it seem like you're not really listening. You're only hearing what you want, and offering advice in response. If someone just wants to talk, refrain from trying to tell them what to do.\\n3-3. Do not change the subject prematurely.\\nNever change the subject before the speaker has gotten their words out. Even if a subject makes you uncomfortable, it's important you let the speaker express themselves.\\nIf there's family drama, you may be tempted to hurry the speaker. For example, if they talk about how you talked to your father last week, you may start talking about something you saw on TV that night.\\nAvoid doing this. Part of communicating with your family is talking about difficult subjects at times. You need to allow conversations to flow where they will, even if a topic upsets you.\\n3-4. Avoid hurrying the speaker.\\nNever rush the person talking. Do not interject with your interpretation before the speaker is finished just to hurry the speaker along. Never say things like, \\\"Can you get to the point?\\\" This will make it seem like you're not invested in the conversation.\\n3-5. Refrain from judgment.\\nEven if you're frustrated or angry with someone, try to cultivate empathy when listening. Try to understand how the person feels and why. It's never a good idea to listen with judgment, as this will reduce your ability to fully communicate. Even if you disagree with someone's actions or opinions, avoid judgment.\\nIt's helpful to hear the other person out, as it will help you better understand where they're coming from.\\nTips\\nIf you can see the speaker is clearly getting uncomfortable when talking about the subject, simply allow them to stop talking.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Communication is important for strong family relationships. However, if you don't truly listen to others, it can be difficult to communicate. Working on your listening skills can help you communicate better and form stronger bonds. Make sure to listen actively. Show that you're listening with non-verbal cues and ask clarifying questions. When it's your turn to talk, acknowledge what the speaker has said by reflecting and commenting on it. Avoid negative habits, like interrupting, to help conversations run smoothly.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listening Actively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay in the present.\", \"描述\": \"When listening to a family member, do not let your mind wander to other things. It's important to strive to stay in the present to make your family member feel heard and valued.\\nAvoid distractions when talking to a family member. Put your phone away and give them your full attention.\\nNever think about other things when someone is talking. Instead, focus only on what's being said. If you feel your mind wandering, return your thoughts to the speakers words.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on the speaker's words and not what you'll say next.\", \"描述\": \"When talking to someone, you often are focusing on what you're going to say next. This tendency can can get more intense when talking to a family member. If you're, say, discussing a family problem or disagreement, you may be eager to share your thoughts. However, do not think about how you feel or wish to respond. Focus only on the speaker and their thoughts and opinions on the matter.\\nYou can think of how you will respond later. Now, pay attention to what is being said. Make understanding your family member's perspective your priority.\\nRemember, you will be better equipped to think of a thoughtful response if you actually understand what's being said. Communication will be better overall if you are able to truly understand the other person's point of view.\\nMake sure that you really hear what they're saying. You can even summarize what they've said, rather than adding your own thoughts right away. You could say, \\\"It's sounds like you're worried about your test results, even though the doctor says everything will be okay.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show you're listening using non-verbal cues.\", \"描述\": \"You want the speaker to feel valued. Make sure to show you're listening. You can convey you're paying attention via non-verbal cues. Nod as the speaker talks, smiles and laugh when appropriate, and maintain eye contact.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure the speaker has finished talking before you talk.\", \"描述\": \"It's okay to embrace a pause. A couple of seconds of silence in a conversation is not a bad thing, and allows the speaker a chance to fully express themselves. Instead of immediately launching into your response, pause for a moment after the speaker finishes talking. This will allow you to make sure they're completely finished talking.\\nPeople have a natural tendency to pause when they speak. If you notice the speaker has paused, do not assume they're done talking. Give them a few seconds before you respond.\\nIf the speaker does not start talking again after a few seconds have passed, it's safe to assume they've finished talking.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask questions for clarification.\", \"描述\": \"Part of listening is understanding. If there's anything the speaker said you did not understand, ask. When someone finishes talking, ask for clarification if necessary. This will convey you are truly listening to your family member and value their perspective.\\nAsk questions that encourage open discussion. For example, \\\"What do you think of the situation?\\\" and \\\"Where do you think we should go from here?\\\"\\nAvoid asking \\\"why\\\" questions. These can come off as judgmental and make the speaker feel defensive. For example, don't ask, \\\"Why did you decide to take that job?\\\" Instead ask, \\\"How did you come to that decision?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicating Effectively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Restate what has been said.\", \"描述\": \"Briefly summarizing what the speaker has said can go a long way towards effective communication. Everyone wants to feel valued and heard, so reiterating a family member's point can convey you were listening. It can also give the family member in question a chance to hear your interpretation of your words, and clarify as necessary.\\nTry to briefly paraphrase what you heard when the speaker finishes. For example, \\\"So, it sounds to me like you're a little frustrated with mom right now because you feel like she's not treating you like an adult.\\\"\\nThis can help you make sure you understood the speaker. It will really show you're listening and allow you and your family to communicate better.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Help family members summarize their experiences.\", \"描述\": \"You want to help someone figure what they're feeling and why. After listening, try to help your family member summarize their experience.\\nFor example, start with something like, \\\"Okay, let me make sure I'm clear on what you're saying.\\\"\\nThen, ask questions to help your family member frame their experience. For example, \\\"You're upset that mom gives unsolicited advice on your car insurance. How would you say you feel about that? I'm sensing frustration.\\\" Helping a family member put a label on their feelings can help them better understand a situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reflect on what's been said.\", \"描述\": \"After allowing a family member to talk, reflect briefly on the subject. Try to figure out not just what's being said, but why it matters. For example, say things like \\\"I feel like this is really important to you\\\" or \\\"I'm getting a sense this is something we should all talk about as a family.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use \\\"I\\\"-statements when it's your turn to talk.\", \"描述\": \"Family situations can be complicated. You may sometimes disagree or take issue with what's being said. When disagreements arise, use \\\"I\\\"-statements. These minimize objective blame as they place the focus on your personal feelings over an objective assessment.\\nAn \\\"I\\\"-statement has three parts. It begins with \\\"I feel...\\\" after which you immediately state your feelings. Then, you state what led to those feelings. Finally, you explain why you feel the way you do.\\nIf you disagree with a family member, avoid framing your feelings in a judgmental manner. For example, \\\"Mom is just trying to help and you know you've had problems with money in the past. You're really frustrating me.\\\"\\nInstead, reframe that sentiment using an \\\"I\\\"-statement. For example, \\\"I feel frustrated because you're angry at mom when she's just trying to help because I think her concerns are legitimate and she does care about you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accept you don't always have to solve someone's problems.\", \"描述\": \"With family, you're often inclined to help. However, you can't solve another person's problems. Oftentimes, a family member just wants someone listen and empathize. Allow the person to talk and resist the urge to jump in and provide your two cents on the issue.\\nYou could ask a reflexive question. For example, \\\"Do you think it was possible that she was just concerned?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Negative Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not interrupt.\", \"描述\": \"Interrupting can put the breaks on effective conversation. Always allow a few seconds of silence after someone finishes talking before offering your response. This allows you to make sure the speaker is done talking.\\nDo not talk over someone either. No matter how passionately you feel about a subject, do not start talking until the other person has finished.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Refrain from offering advice.\", \"描述\": \"Unless you are explicitly asked, do not offer advice. Unsolicited advice can make it seem like you're not really listening. You're only hearing what you want, and offering advice in response. If someone just wants to talk, refrain from trying to tell them what to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do not change the subject prematurely.\", \"描述\": \"Never change the subject before the speaker has gotten their words out. Even if a subject makes you uncomfortable, it's important you let the speaker express themselves.\\nIf there's family drama, you may be tempted to hurry the speaker. For example, if they talk about how you talked to your father last week, you may start talking about something you saw on TV that night.\\nAvoid doing this. Part of communicating with your family is talking about difficult subjects at times. You need to allow conversations to flow where they will, even if a topic upsets you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid hurrying the speaker.\", \"描述\": \"Never rush the person talking. Do not interject with your interpretation before the speaker is finished just to hurry the speaker along. Never say things like, \\\"Can you get to the point?\\\" This will make it seem like you're not invested in the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Refrain from judgment.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're frustrated or angry with someone, try to cultivate empathy when listening. Try to understand how the person feels and why. It's never a good idea to listen with judgment, as this will reduce your ability to fully communicate. Even if you disagree with someone's actions or opinions, avoid judgment.\\nIt's helpful to hear the other person out, as it will help you better understand where they're coming from.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you can see the speaker is clearly getting uncomfortable when talking about the subject, simply allow them to stop talking.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,475 |
How to Be a Good Literature Student
|
1. Participating Effectively in Class
1-1. Take detailed notes.
During class, write down the most important points emphasized by your teacher or professor. Write down your questions, points about the plot of the book, your opinions, your teacher or professor’s opinions, and your classmates’ comments. Write down the big, main points--don’t get weighed down in the details. Keep all of your notes for your literature class together in one notebook or section of a binder so that you can stay organized. Here are some ways to organize your notes:
Themes of the class as a whole
Your own thoughts and questions
Interesting points from class discussions
Themes and symbols in particular books
Your teacher or professor’s thoughts about a book (which will be more common in college lectures than in high school class discussions)
Important notes about the plot
Details about the historical context of the text
1-2. Listen and respond to other students.
If your class is discussion-based, pay attention when other students are speaking. Look at the student who is speaking and practice active listening skills, including nodding at the person, absorbing what the person is saying (rather than preparing a response in your head!), and turning towards the person with open body language. Ask questions to make sure you understand what the person means. You should respond thoughtfully to your classmates’ ideas and opinions, whether you agree or disagree. Everyone will enjoy the class more if the students are respectful and interested.
1-3. Engage with your teacher or professor.
Express your thoughts and opinions in class, and ask questions. Demonstrate to your teacher or professor that you want to succeed by going to his or her office hours and talking further about the readings. Come to class prepared to discuss the readings and to listen to the thoughts of your teacher or professor. Stay after class to ask a quick question or comment on a point you think is interesting. If you are having trouble understanding the material, reach out to your professor. He or she will be happy to help you through complicated material.
1-4. Ask good questions.
When asking a question in front of the class, speak clearly and loudly. Look the person you're talking to in the eye.
Don't interrupt the answer to your question.
Use open-ended question, rather than questions with a "yes" or "no" answer. A good open-ended question might be, "How do race and politics interact in this novel?"
Ask shorter, more specific questions, rather than long, general questions.
2. Preparing for Class
2-1. Do your reading before class.
Go to class prepared--look at your class syllabus and write down which texts you should read before each class. Make a schedule for how much reading you will do every day. It’s important to do the reading before class so that you understand the lecture or discussion while it’s happening, rather than being confused and unprepared in the moment.
2-2. Read and reread the assigned texts carefully.
While you read, take notes where you summarize what’s happening in your own words, note unfamiliar words, and write your thoughts down. Reread a text if you find it dense or confusing the first time--sometimes professors and teachers choose challenging texts that deserve a second look. In order to maximize productivity, take a ten minute break for every fifty minutes that you read.
2-3. Use outside tools to help you understand the assignments further.
Keep a dictionary near where you study, and write down the names and definitions of unfamiliar words you come across. If your teacher or professor allows it, use websites such as Sparknotes, Shmoop, and BookRags for plot summaries and refreshers on character names. These sources, however, should only serve to supplement your basic knowledge of the assigned texts. All your thinking and ideas for your essays should come only from you.
2-4. Talk about the assigned texts with people in your class.
Maybe you have a good friend in the class with whom you can chat over coffee or you want to organize a weekly study group. Talking about the assigned texts in a group can help you gain new understandings of the text, answer your questions, and get further enjoyment out of what you read. If your literature class has exams, your study group can help you review the important plot points, details, and themes in the assigned texts.
3. Writing Good Papers
3-1. Give yourself enough time to write and revise.
Make sure that you have enough time for outlining your paper, looking through the book, writing your paper, seeking feedback from others, and revising your paper.
Make a schedule for the time frame in which you will complete your paper.
Set internal deadlines where you are accountable to another person. Saying “I will send a draft of my paper to my peer revision partner by Thursday” is some effective than saying “I will finish a draft by Thursday.”
Reward yourself for completing tasks on time with breaks and smaller rewards. For example, if you complete your outline on schedule, you could go get ice cream with friends.
3-2. Create an original, argumentative thesis statement.
All effective papers about literature include a thesis statement, or a specific argument that you wish to prove in your paper. Your thesis statement should be opinionated, original, and relevant to the literary work. It should not be a factual statement but instead a debatable opinion.
An example of an ineffective thesis statement: “In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry’s wand is unique to him.” This statement is ineffective because it is simply a fact--although one could write many interesting things about the fact that Harry’s wand is unique to him, no one can dispute that this is true because it is a fact.
An example of an effective thesis statement: “In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry’s wand represents his coming of age through its power to give him more agency through magic, its link to both his past and his future, and its unique physical form.” This thesis statement works well because it is debatable; someone might instead argue that the wand represents Harry’s duty to the wizarding world or that the wand more represents his identity as a student. The thesis statement has both facts and opinions, so it seems opinionated but not outlandish.
3-3. Use both direct quotes from the book and your own analysis.
In order to support your thesis statement, you should find quotes from the book that illustrate your point. If your thesis statement argues that rain presents despair, for example, you might want to look for a passage in the book where a character is crying in the rain. Then, once you have an example, you should analyze this example in your own words.
Quotes should be integrated well into the text of the essay itself, and analysis should analyze the quote further. For example, you might write, 'When Romeo says, “But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? / It is the east, and Juliet is the sun' (Shakespeare 2.1.44-45), he draws a comparison between the sun rising in the east and the beginning of the relationship between the two lovers."
3-4. Revise and proofread extensively.
Ask your friends, family, and teacher to read your paper. Incorporate their feedback into your edits. Read over your paper for grammar, spelling, and punctuation mistakes. Don’t be afraid to make a lot of changes between your first and second drafts--your paper will improve with every thoughtful revision.
When you’re done with your paper, read it aloud to yourself to check for awkward wording and small mistakes.
You can also try reading it, starting from the last sentence and working towards the first sentence.
When you turn in your paper and receive feedback, keep your feedback for the next time you write a paper.
4. Taking Literature Exams
4-1. Know the format of your test.
Literature tests can be in wildly different formats depending on the class and the instructor; they are very different from math or spelling tests. If your professor or teacher gives you the format of the test, make sure that you understand what each component of the test entails. This understanding will aid you in the study process. Here are some common literature exam components:
Definitions of literary terms or phrases
Quote identifications, where you are given the quote and need to explain who said it in what context in what literary work by which author.
Passage analysis
Short answer questions
Essay questions, either on one work or linking together multiple works
4-2. Make flashcards of important literary terms and words.
If your class focuses on literary terms, such as “symbol” or “anaphora” or “free indirect discourse,” make sure that you can not only define the literary term but also provide examples of it from texts in your class. Quiz yourself with these flashcards and look for more examples of them in your assigned texts.
4-3. Reread your class notes.
If you have taken good class notes, rereading through your notes will refresh your memory about the important points made during class. Take note of the important ideas presented in the class, such as “coming of age” or “man vs. nature.” The ideas that stand out in your notes could potentially appear on the exam. Make a condensed study guide, pulling together the most important ideas from your notes. Use the “read-recite-review” method --read over your notes, recite what you remember from them, and then review and assess how much you retained.
4-4. Reread confusing parts of assigned texts.
Understanding all of the material for a literature exam is crucial, so now is the time to look back on that confusing passage of Faulkner that you didn’t understand in class. If there’s a passage analysis on one of these confusing sections, you will be happy that you reviewed it!
4-5. Look at symbols and themes.
If your exam requires an essay, you should look through your notes and texts for potential essay topics, such as dreams, motherhood, or nature. Take note of these for potential exam questions that ask you to talk about symbols and themes across multiple texts studied. Symbols and themes are often frequent topics of literary discussion, and having a grasp of the underlying meaning in your assigned texts will prepare you even more for the exam.
4-6. Utilize your study group.
Ask them questions about confusing passages. Discuss what each of you thought were the important ideas throughout the class--your opinions might vary! Ask them to read-recite-review their notes to you. Hearing different opinions and points of view about the texts in a literature class will help you see the works more holistically.
Tips
Reading for pleasure is a great way to keep your skills sharp in the summer.
Everyone reads at his or her own pace--don't worry if you read more slowly than your friends do.
If you read a book for school that you love, ask your librarian to recommend other books that you might like.
Warnings
Be careful of sources like Sparknotes that tell you how to read or analyze certain passages--your own interpretation is just as valuable!
Don't be discouraged by extensive feedback on your papers--it will only help to improve your writing in the future.
While it's great to have discussions with your classmates, make sure that your ideas in your essays are your own, not someone else's.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Participating Effectively in Class\\n1-1. Take detailed notes.\\nDuring class, write down the most important points emphasized by your teacher or professor. Write down your questions, points about the plot of the book, your opinions, your teacher or professor’s opinions, and your classmates’ comments. Write down the big, main points--don’t get weighed down in the details. Keep all of your notes for your literature class together in one notebook or section of a binder so that you can stay organized. Here are some ways to organize your notes:\\nThemes of the class as a whole\\nYour own thoughts and questions\\nInteresting points from class discussions\\nThemes and symbols in particular books\\nYour teacher or professor’s thoughts about a book (which will be more common in college lectures than in high school class discussions)\\nImportant notes about the plot\\nDetails about the historical context of the text\\n1-2. Listen and respond to other students.\\nIf your class is discussion-based, pay attention when other students are speaking. Look at the student who is speaking and practice active listening skills, including nodding at the person, absorbing what the person is saying (rather than preparing a response in your head!), and turning towards the person with open body language. Ask questions to make sure you understand what the person means. You should respond thoughtfully to your classmates’ ideas and opinions, whether you agree or disagree. Everyone will enjoy the class more if the students are respectful and interested.\\n1-3. Engage with your teacher or professor.\\nExpress your thoughts and opinions in class, and ask questions. Demonstrate to your teacher or professor that you want to succeed by going to his or her office hours and talking further about the readings. Come to class prepared to discuss the readings and to listen to the thoughts of your teacher or professor. Stay after class to ask a quick question or comment on a point you think is interesting. If you are having trouble understanding the material, reach out to your professor. He or she will be happy to help you through complicated material.\\n1-4. Ask good questions.\\nWhen asking a question in front of the class, speak clearly and loudly. Look the person you're talking to in the eye.\\nDon't interrupt the answer to your question.\\nUse open-ended question, rather than questions with a \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no\\\" answer. A good open-ended question might be, \\\"How do race and politics interact in this novel?\\\"\\nAsk shorter, more specific questions, rather than long, general questions.\\n2. Preparing for Class\\n2-1. Do your reading before class.\\nGo to class prepared--look at your class syllabus and write down which texts you should read before each class. Make a schedule for how much reading you will do every day. It’s important to do the reading before class so that you understand the lecture or discussion while it’s happening, rather than being confused and unprepared in the moment.\\n2-2. Read and reread the assigned texts carefully.\\nWhile you read, take notes where you summarize what’s happening in your own words, note unfamiliar words, and write your thoughts down. Reread a text if you find it dense or confusing the first time--sometimes professors and teachers choose challenging texts that deserve a second look. In order to maximize productivity, take a ten minute break for every fifty minutes that you read.\\n2-3. Use outside tools to help you understand the assignments further.\\nKeep a dictionary near where you study, and write down the names and definitions of unfamiliar words you come across. If your teacher or professor allows it, use websites such as Sparknotes, Shmoop, and BookRags for plot summaries and refreshers on character names. These sources, however, should only serve to supplement your basic knowledge of the assigned texts. All your thinking and ideas for your essays should come only from you.\\n2-4. Talk about the assigned texts with people in your class.\\nMaybe you have a good friend in the class with whom you can chat over coffee or you want to organize a weekly study group. Talking about the assigned texts in a group can help you gain new understandings of the text, answer your questions, and get further enjoyment out of what you read. If your literature class has exams, your study group can help you review the important plot points, details, and themes in the assigned texts.\\n3. Writing Good Papers\\n3-1. Give yourself enough time to write and revise.\\nMake sure that you have enough time for outlining your paper, looking through the book, writing your paper, seeking feedback from others, and revising your paper.\\nMake a schedule for the time frame in which you will complete your paper.\\nSet internal deadlines where you are accountable to another person. Saying “I will send a draft of my paper to my peer revision partner by Thursday” is some effective than saying “I will finish a draft by Thursday.”\\nReward yourself for completing tasks on time with breaks and smaller rewards. For example, if you complete your outline on schedule, you could go get ice cream with friends.\\n3-2. Create an original, argumentative thesis statement.\\nAll effective papers about literature include a thesis statement, or a specific argument that you wish to prove in your paper. Your thesis statement should be opinionated, original, and relevant to the literary work. It should not be a factual statement but instead a debatable opinion. \\nAn example of an ineffective thesis statement: “In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry’s wand is unique to him.” This statement is ineffective because it is simply a fact--although one could write many interesting things about the fact that Harry’s wand is unique to him, no one can dispute that this is true because it is a fact.\\nAn example of an effective thesis statement: “In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry’s wand represents his coming of age through its power to give him more agency through magic, its link to both his past and his future, and its unique physical form.” This thesis statement works well because it is debatable; someone might instead argue that the wand represents Harry’s duty to the wizarding world or that the wand more represents his identity as a student. The thesis statement has both facts and opinions, so it seems opinionated but not outlandish.\\n3-3. Use both direct quotes from the book and your own analysis.\\nIn order to support your thesis statement, you should find quotes from the book that illustrate your point. If your thesis statement argues that rain presents despair, for example, you might want to look for a passage in the book where a character is crying in the rain. Then, once you have an example, you should analyze this example in your own words. \\nQuotes should be integrated well into the text of the essay itself, and analysis should analyze the quote further. For example, you might write, 'When Romeo says, “But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? / It is the east, and Juliet is the sun' (Shakespeare 2.1.44-45), he draws a comparison between the sun rising in the east and the beginning of the relationship between the two lovers.\\\"\\n3-4. Revise and proofread extensively.\\nAsk your friends, family, and teacher to read your paper. Incorporate their feedback into your edits. Read over your paper for grammar, spelling, and punctuation mistakes. Don’t be afraid to make a lot of changes between your first and second drafts--your paper will improve with every thoughtful revision. \\nWhen you’re done with your paper, read it aloud to yourself to check for awkward wording and small mistakes.\\nYou can also try reading it, starting from the last sentence and working towards the first sentence.\\nWhen you turn in your paper and receive feedback, keep your feedback for the next time you write a paper.\\n4. Taking Literature Exams\\n4-1. Know the format of your test.\\nLiterature tests can be in wildly different formats depending on the class and the instructor; they are very different from math or spelling tests. If your professor or teacher gives you the format of the test, make sure that you understand what each component of the test entails. This understanding will aid you in the study process. Here are some common literature exam components:\\nDefinitions of literary terms or phrases\\nQuote identifications, where you are given the quote and need to explain who said it in what context in what literary work by which author.\\nPassage analysis\\nShort answer questions\\nEssay questions, either on one work or linking together multiple works\\n4-2. Make flashcards of important literary terms and words.\\nIf your class focuses on literary terms, such as “symbol” or “anaphora” or “free indirect discourse,” make sure that you can not only define the literary term but also provide examples of it from texts in your class. Quiz yourself with these flashcards and look for more examples of them in your assigned texts.\\n4-3. Reread your class notes.\\nIf you have taken good class notes, rereading through your notes will refresh your memory about the important points made during class. Take note of the important ideas presented in the class, such as “coming of age” or “man vs. nature.” The ideas that stand out in your notes could potentially appear on the exam. Make a condensed study guide, pulling together the most important ideas from your notes. Use the “read-recite-review” method --read over your notes, recite what you remember from them, and then review and assess how much you retained.\\n4-4. Reread confusing parts of assigned texts.\\nUnderstanding all of the material for a literature exam is crucial, so now is the time to look back on that confusing passage of Faulkner that you didn’t understand in class. If there’s a passage analysis on one of these confusing sections, you will be happy that you reviewed it!\\n4-5. Look at symbols and themes.\\nIf your exam requires an essay, you should look through your notes and texts for potential essay topics, such as dreams, motherhood, or nature. Take note of these for potential exam questions that ask you to talk about symbols and themes across multiple texts studied. Symbols and themes are often frequent topics of literary discussion, and having a grasp of the underlying meaning in your assigned texts will prepare you even more for the exam.\\n4-6. Utilize your study group.\\nAsk them questions about confusing passages. Discuss what each of you thought were the important ideas throughout the class--your opinions might vary! Ask them to read-recite-review their notes to you. Hearing different opinions and points of view about the texts in a literature class will help you see the works more holistically.\\nTips\\nReading for pleasure is a great way to keep your skills sharp in the summer.\\nEveryone reads at his or her own pace--don't worry if you read more slowly than your friends do.\\nIf you read a book for school that you love, ask your librarian to recommend other books that you might like.\\nWarnings\\nBe careful of sources like Sparknotes that tell you how to read or analyze certain passages--your own interpretation is just as valuable!\\nDon't be discouraged by extensive feedback on your papers--it will only help to improve your writing in the future.\\nWhile it's great to have discussions with your classmates, make sure that your ideas in your essays are your own, not someone else's.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The study of literature is rewarding but challenging. You might be required to take an English class in high school or maybe you’re trying out a literature class in college. English classes can be challenging because of a demanding workload, complicated texts, and writing essays. If you put in thoughtful and diligent work both in and out of the classroom, however, you might really enjoy these classes.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Participating Effectively in Class\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take detailed notes.\", \"描述\": \"During class, write down the most important points emphasized by your teacher or professor. Write down your questions, points about the plot of the book, your opinions, your teacher or professor’s opinions, and your classmates’ comments. Write down the big, main points--don’t get weighed down in the details. Keep all of your notes for your literature class together in one notebook or section of a binder so that you can stay organized. Here are some ways to organize your notes:\\nThemes of the class as a whole\\nYour own thoughts and questions\\nInteresting points from class discussions\\nThemes and symbols in particular books\\nYour teacher or professor’s thoughts about a book (which will be more common in college lectures than in high school class discussions)\\nImportant notes about the plot\\nDetails about the historical context of the text\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen and respond to other students.\", \"描述\": \"If your class is discussion-based, pay attention when other students are speaking. Look at the student who is speaking and practice active listening skills, including nodding at the person, absorbing what the person is saying (rather than preparing a response in your head!), and turning towards the person with open body language. Ask questions to make sure you understand what the person means. You should respond thoughtfully to your classmates’ ideas and opinions, whether you agree or disagree. Everyone will enjoy the class more if the students are respectful and interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Engage with your teacher or professor.\", \"描述\": \"Express your thoughts and opinions in class, and ask questions. Demonstrate to your teacher or professor that you want to succeed by going to his or her office hours and talking further about the readings. Come to class prepared to discuss the readings and to listen to the thoughts of your teacher or professor. Stay after class to ask a quick question or comment on a point you think is interesting. If you are having trouble understanding the material, reach out to your professor. He or she will be happy to help you through complicated material.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask good questions.\", \"描述\": \"When asking a question in front of the class, speak clearly and loudly. Look the person you're talking to in the eye.\\nDon't interrupt the answer to your question.\\nUse open-ended question, rather than questions with a \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no\\\" answer. A good open-ended question might be, \\\"How do race and politics interact in this novel?\\\"\\nAsk shorter, more specific questions, rather than long, general questions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Preparing for Class\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your reading before class.\", \"描述\": \"Go to class prepared--look at your class syllabus and write down which texts you should read before each class. Make a schedule for how much reading you will do every day. It’s important to do the reading before class so that you understand the lecture or discussion while it’s happening, rather than being confused and unprepared in the moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read and reread the assigned texts carefully.\", \"描述\": \"While you read, take notes where you summarize what’s happening in your own words, note unfamiliar words, and write your thoughts down. Reread a text if you find it dense or confusing the first time--sometimes professors and teachers choose challenging texts that deserve a second look. In order to maximize productivity, take a ten minute break for every fifty minutes that you read.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use outside tools to help you understand the assignments further.\", \"描述\": \"Keep a dictionary near where you study, and write down the names and definitions of unfamiliar words you come across. If your teacher or professor allows it, use websites such as Sparknotes, Shmoop, and BookRags for plot summaries and refreshers on character names. These sources, however, should only serve to supplement your basic knowledge of the assigned texts. All your thinking and ideas for your essays should come only from you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk about the assigned texts with people in your class.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you have a good friend in the class with whom you can chat over coffee or you want to organize a weekly study group. Talking about the assigned texts in a group can help you gain new understandings of the text, answer your questions, and get further enjoyment out of what you read. If your literature class has exams, your study group can help you review the important plot points, details, and themes in the assigned texts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Writing Good Papers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give yourself enough time to write and revise.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you have enough time for outlining your paper, looking through the book, writing your paper, seeking feedback from others, and revising your paper.\\nMake a schedule for the time frame in which you will complete your paper.\\nSet internal deadlines where you are accountable to another person. Saying “I will send a draft of my paper to my peer revision partner by Thursday” is some effective than saying “I will finish a draft by Thursday.”\\nReward yourself for completing tasks on time with breaks and smaller rewards. For example, if you complete your outline on schedule, you could go get ice cream with friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create an original, argumentative thesis statement.\", \"描述\": \"All effective papers about literature include a thesis statement, or a specific argument that you wish to prove in your paper. Your thesis statement should be opinionated, original, and relevant to the literary work. It should not be a factual statement but instead a debatable opinion. \\nAn example of an ineffective thesis statement: “In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry’s wand is unique to him.” This statement is ineffective because it is simply a fact--although one could write many interesting things about the fact that Harry’s wand is unique to him, no one can dispute that this is true because it is a fact.\\nAn example of an effective thesis statement: “In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry’s wand represents his coming of age through its power to give him more agency through magic, its link to both his past and his future, and its unique physical form.” This thesis statement works well because it is debatable; someone might instead argue that the wand represents Harry’s duty to the wizarding world or that the wand more represents his identity as a student. The thesis statement has both facts and opinions, so it seems opinionated but not outlandish.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use both direct quotes from the book and your own analysis.\", \"描述\": \"In order to support your thesis statement, you should find quotes from the book that illustrate your point. If your thesis statement argues that rain presents despair, for example, you might want to look for a passage in the book where a character is crying in the rain. Then, once you have an example, you should analyze this example in your own words. \\nQuotes should be integrated well into the text of the essay itself, and analysis should analyze the quote further. For example, you might write, 'When Romeo says, “But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? / It is the east, and Juliet is the sun' (Shakespeare 2.1.44-45), he draws a comparison between the sun rising in the east and the beginning of the relationship between the two lovers.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Revise and proofread extensively.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your friends, family, and teacher to read your paper. Incorporate their feedback into your edits. Read over your paper for grammar, spelling, and punctuation mistakes. Don’t be afraid to make a lot of changes between your first and second drafts--your paper will improve with every thoughtful revision. \\nWhen you’re done with your paper, read it aloud to yourself to check for awkward wording and small mistakes.\\nYou can also try reading it, starting from the last sentence and working towards the first sentence.\\nWhen you turn in your paper and receive feedback, keep your feedback for the next time you write a paper.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Taking Literature Exams\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know the format of your test.\", \"描述\": \"Literature tests can be in wildly different formats depending on the class and the instructor; they are very different from math or spelling tests. If your professor or teacher gives you the format of the test, make sure that you understand what each component of the test entails. This understanding will aid you in the study process. Here are some common literature exam components:\\nDefinitions of literary terms or phrases\\nQuote identifications, where you are given the quote and need to explain who said it in what context in what literary work by which author.\\nPassage analysis\\nShort answer questions\\nEssay questions, either on one work or linking together multiple works\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make flashcards of important literary terms and words.\", \"描述\": \"If your class focuses on literary terms, such as “symbol” or “anaphora” or “free indirect discourse,” make sure that you can not only define the literary term but also provide examples of it from texts in your class. Quiz yourself with these flashcards and look for more examples of them in your assigned texts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reread your class notes.\", \"描述\": \"If you have taken good class notes, rereading through your notes will refresh your memory about the important points made during class. Take note of the important ideas presented in the class, such as “coming of age” or “man vs. nature.” The ideas that stand out in your notes could potentially appear on the exam. Make a condensed study guide, pulling together the most important ideas from your notes. Use the “read-recite-review” method --read over your notes, recite what you remember from them, and then review and assess how much you retained.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reread confusing parts of assigned texts.\", \"描述\": \"Understanding all of the material for a literature exam is crucial, so now is the time to look back on that confusing passage of Faulkner that you didn’t understand in class. If there’s a passage analysis on one of these confusing sections, you will be happy that you reviewed it!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look at symbols and themes.\", \"描述\": \"If your exam requires an essay, you should look through your notes and texts for potential essay topics, such as dreams, motherhood, or nature. Take note of these for potential exam questions that ask you to talk about symbols and themes across multiple texts studied. Symbols and themes are often frequent topics of literary discussion, and having a grasp of the underlying meaning in your assigned texts will prepare you even more for the exam.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Utilize your study group.\", \"描述\": \"Ask them questions about confusing passages. Discuss what each of you thought were the important ideas throughout the class--your opinions might vary! Ask them to read-recite-review their notes to you. Hearing different opinions and points of view about the texts in a literature class will help you see the works more holistically.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Reading for pleasure is a great way to keep your skills sharp in the summer.\\n\", \"Everyone reads at his or her own pace--don't worry if you read more slowly than your friends do.\\n\", \"If you read a book for school that you love, ask your librarian to recommend other books that you might like.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be careful of sources like Sparknotes that tell you how to read or analyze certain passages--your own interpretation is just as valuable!\\n\", \"Don't be discouraged by extensive feedback on your papers--it will only help to improve your writing in the future.\\n\", \"While it's great to have discussions with your classmates, make sure that your ideas in your essays are your own, not someone else's.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,476 |
How to Be a Good Little Sister
|
1. Communicating with Your Siblings
1-1. Say sorry when you need to.
You won't always get along with your older siblings. You may hurt their feelings or make a mistake. When you apologize, you are admitting that you have done something wrong and are trying to fix it. When you apologize, be specific about what you did and how you will change your behavior. Here are some ways you can say you're sorry:
"I'm sorry for being mean to you."
"I'm sorry for ___. I won't do it again."
"I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?"
Your sibling may not forgive you right away. Give them a little time and space.
1-2. Do not talk if they are talking.
If your sibling is talking to you or someone else, listen to them before you start to talk. Jumping in a conversation is disrespectful and can make you seem annoying.
Live by the rule that only one person talks at a time.
Be a good listener and take turns talking.
1-3. Express your feelings.
Part of being a good little sister is telling your siblings how you feel. If they have done something that has hurt your feelings or made you mad, let them know. If they did something that you really appreciate, let them know that as well.
For instance, you might talk about how you feel jealous of your sibling for getting more attention from your parents, or how you want to spend more time together.
Never be afraid to talk to your siblings. Even if you guys fuss and fight, they still love you and want the best for you.
Being able to talk will help build trust between you guys.
1-4. Do nice things for your siblings.
If you are nice to your siblings, they are more likely to be nice to you. Doing kind things for someone is a way to let them know that you love them and you appreciate them. This is a really good strategy if you have been annoying or mean and want to make it up to your sibling.
If you are at the store with your parent, try to bring something home that you know your sibling will like.
You could also take out the trash for your sibling or do one of their chores one week.
Do not tell your sibling what you plan to do. Let it be a surprise.
When you do something nice, do not expect anything in return. Do it because you love and appreciate your sibling.
2. Resolving Conflicts
2-1. Make an appointment to talk.
If there is an issue that needs to be worked out, set up a time that you will meet to talk. Tell your sibling how you feel and then listen to their side. Try to stay as calm as possible.
If you and your sibling are not good at working things out on your own, ask a parent to be there during the talk. Your parent can make sure that things do not get too heated.
Try to stick to the specific issue you are having. For example, if the problem is that your sibling is spending too long in the bathroom before school, do not bring up how your sibling never lets you pick a show on the television.
2-2. Understand your sibling's perspective.
When you are fighting, it can be hard to understand how your sibling feels. For example, maybe your sibling kicked you out of their room because they wanted to be alone. You may feel that your sibling is being mean to you and does not want to spend time with you. However, your sibling may have had a bad day and need some alone time.
Instead of jumping to conclusions, ask your sibling, "Why did you say that?" or "are you feeling ok?"
2-3. Avoid name calling.
If you and your sibling are not getting along, calling them a name or putting them down, will only make things worse.
This can be really difficult if you are upset. If you are too mad too talk, get away from your sibling until you calm down.
Tell your sibling, "I'm really mad right now. I want to be alone. I'll talk to you later."
Even if your sibling calls you a name, do not say something mean back to them.
2-4. Find a solution that helps both of you.
To resolve a conflict, both people involved should get something that they want. If the solution is one-sided, only one person will be happy and the fighting may continue. You may have to give up something or offer something in return.
For example, if you want to play with your sibling's phone you may say, "You can play my video game if you let me borrow your phone." You offer something you have that your sibling wants, so you can get something that you want.
If you are not sure of a good compromise, ask your sibling, "What would make you happy?" or "Is there anything I can do for you/give you?"
2-5. Try to work things out on your own.
If you and your siblings are fighting, try to work it out on your own before you get your parents involved. Try to talk and find a solution that works for the both of you. Solving problems on your own will strengthen your relationship and show your parents that you are responsible.
If your sibling refuses to compromise with you, physically hurts you, threatens you, or bullies you, let your parents know.
Deal with problems as they happen. Do not let things build up.
3. Being Respectful
3-1. Do not bother them when they have company.
When your siblings have friends over (and that includes boyfriends/girlfriends), don't bother them. You might want to talk and hang out with them or play with them, but they deserve their time alone. Wait until they call you. They will appreciate that and more likely want you to come back.
If you start to hang out with them and they ask, "Can you get out now?" say, "Sure" and go and do something else.
If you know that your sibling has company coming, already have some activities (e.g. play outside, read, watch a movie, play video games, color, etc.) planned that you can do.
3-2. Ask before you borrow something.
Your siblings probably have something that you like and would like to use from time to time. Always ask to borrow the item before you use it. Your sibling may need it or might not want to share with you.
Say, "Hey, can I borrow your ___. I'll give it back to you tomorrow."
If you do borrow something, take care of it and bring it back in the same condition that you got it. For example, do not borrow their phone and bring it back with a cracked screen.
If your sibling says no, you can politely ask them why. You might be able to convince them if you know the reason.
If your sibling refuses to share with you, do not beg or whine. Accept their answer.
3-3. Never eavesdrop.
Eavesdropping will get you nowhere. You usually want answers, and you'll end up right back where you started because your sister/brother will find out and you'll lose their trust. If your sibling wants you to know something, they will tell you.
If you do eavesdrop and overhear something, do not repeat it to other people (e.g. your friends, parents, etc.)
If your sibling is on the phone or having a conversation that does not involve you, go to another room and do something else.
3-4. Don't be a tattle-tale.
If there is something small that your sibling did, don't run to tell your mom. Talk to them before you tell your parents. If you can't work it out, then tell them. If your sibling is in danger or going to do something illegal, you can go ahead and tell your parents.
If you are a tattle-tale, your siblings will not be able to trust you.
Keeping secrets is a special, fun part of having siblings.
4. Accepting Your Role in the Family
4-1. Try not to be jealous.
You may get jealous of your sibling for many reasons. Maybe they get more attention from your parents, make better grades, or receive more compliments from other people. Getting jealous from time to time is normal, but you should not let it affect how you treat your sibling.
Anytime you feel jealous, remind yourself of something you accomplished. For example, if your sibling made straight "A's," think about how well you did at your dance recital.
Congratulate your siblings when they accomplish something. If you support them, they are more likely to support you.
If you begin to feel jealous, take a deep breath and as yourself, "Am I upset with my sibling or do I wish the situation was different?"
If you are having problems with jealousy, talk to your parents or write your feelings down in a journal. It is best to deal with your feelings instead of keeping them in.
4-2. Do not compare yourself.
You probably compare yourself to your older siblings. They may have special privileges or get to do things that you do not get to do. Your parents may also deal with them differently than they deal with you. This is not because you are not special or that your parents love you any less.
Your siblings have different privileges because they are older. You will get more privileges as you become older.
Your siblings may also be able to do things that you can't do yet. For example, your sibling may be able to ride a bike really well, but you are having a hard time. Remember that your sibling has had more time to practice, and they were not always good at riding a bike. Just keep practicing.
4-3. Understand that you may have different interests.
As a little sister, your siblings may not always be interested in the same things that you are. This is more likely to happen if there is a large age gap between you and your siblings. Having different interests is normal and healthy.
For example, maybe your sibling is a teenager and has begun dating. They may spend less time with you. Remember that nothing is wrong with you and that your sibling still loves you.
Spend time doing the things that you are interested in and spend more time with your parents and friends. If you are busy, you will not be as sad about your sibling doing things without you.
Tips
Don't lie to your siblings. That will damage the relationship between the two of you.
Some things just aren't worth fighting about. Choose your battles with your siblings.
Staying calm and expressing your feelings with words can only help you.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating with Your Siblings\\n1-1. Say sorry when you need to.\\nYou won't always get along with your older siblings. You may hurt their feelings or make a mistake. When you apologize, you are admitting that you have done something wrong and are trying to fix it. When you apologize, be specific about what you did and how you will change your behavior. Here are some ways you can say you're sorry:\\n\\\"I'm sorry for being mean to you.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm sorry for ___. I won't do it again.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?\\\"\\nYour sibling may not forgive you right away. Give them a little time and space.\\n1-2. Do not talk if they are talking.\\nIf your sibling is talking to you or someone else, listen to them before you start to talk. Jumping in a conversation is disrespectful and can make you seem annoying.\\nLive by the rule that only one person talks at a time.\\nBe a good listener and take turns talking.\\n1-3. Express your feelings.\\nPart of being a good little sister is telling your siblings how you feel. If they have done something that has hurt your feelings or made you mad, let them know. If they did something that you really appreciate, let them know that as well.\\nFor instance, you might talk about how you feel jealous of your sibling for getting more attention from your parents, or how you want to spend more time together.\\nNever be afraid to talk to your siblings. Even if you guys fuss and fight, they still love you and want the best for you.\\nBeing able to talk will help build trust between you guys.\\n1-4. Do nice things for your siblings.\\nIf you are nice to your siblings, they are more likely to be nice to you. Doing kind things for someone is a way to let them know that you love them and you appreciate them. This is a really good strategy if you have been annoying or mean and want to make it up to your sibling.\\nIf you are at the store with your parent, try to bring something home that you know your sibling will like.\\nYou could also take out the trash for your sibling or do one of their chores one week.\\nDo not tell your sibling what you plan to do. Let it be a surprise.\\nWhen you do something nice, do not expect anything in return. Do it because you love and appreciate your sibling.\\n2. Resolving Conflicts\\n2-1. Make an appointment to talk.\\nIf there is an issue that needs to be worked out, set up a time that you will meet to talk. Tell your sibling how you feel and then listen to their side. Try to stay as calm as possible.\\nIf you and your sibling are not good at working things out on your own, ask a parent to be there during the talk. Your parent can make sure that things do not get too heated.\\nTry to stick to the specific issue you are having. For example, if the problem is that your sibling is spending too long in the bathroom before school, do not bring up how your sibling never lets you pick a show on the television.\\n2-2. Understand your sibling's perspective.\\nWhen you are fighting, it can be hard to understand how your sibling feels. For example, maybe your sibling kicked you out of their room because they wanted to be alone. You may feel that your sibling is being mean to you and does not want to spend time with you. However, your sibling may have had a bad day and need some alone time.\\nInstead of jumping to conclusions, ask your sibling, \\\"Why did you say that?\\\" or \\\"are you feeling ok?\\\"\\n2-3. Avoid name calling.\\nIf you and your sibling are not getting along, calling them a name or putting them down, will only make things worse.\\n This can be really difficult if you are upset. If you are too mad too talk, get away from your sibling until you calm down.\\nTell your sibling, \\\"I'm really mad right now. I want to be alone. I'll talk to you later.\\\"\\nEven if your sibling calls you a name, do not say something mean back to them.\\n2-4. Find a solution that helps both of you.\\nTo resolve a conflict, both people involved should get something that they want. If the solution is one-sided, only one person will be happy and the fighting may continue. You may have to give up something or offer something in return.\\nFor example, if you want to play with your sibling's phone you may say, \\\"You can play my video game if you let me borrow your phone.\\\" You offer something you have that your sibling wants, so you can get something that you want.\\nIf you are not sure of a good compromise, ask your sibling, \\\"What would make you happy?\\\" or \\\"Is there anything I can do for you/give you?\\\"\\n2-5. Try to work things out on your own.\\nIf you and your siblings are fighting, try to work it out on your own before you get your parents involved. Try to talk and find a solution that works for the both of you. Solving problems on your own will strengthen your relationship and show your parents that you are responsible.\\nIf your sibling refuses to compromise with you, physically hurts you, threatens you, or bullies you, let your parents know.\\nDeal with problems as they happen. Do not let things build up.\\n3. Being Respectful\\n3-1. Do not bother them when they have company.\\nWhen your siblings have friends over (and that includes boyfriends/girlfriends), don't bother them. You might want to talk and hang out with them or play with them, but they deserve their time alone. Wait until they call you. They will appreciate that and more likely want you to come back.\\nIf you start to hang out with them and they ask, \\\"Can you get out now?\\\" say, \\\"Sure\\\" and go and do something else.\\nIf you know that your sibling has company coming, already have some activities (e.g. play outside, read, watch a movie, play video games, color, etc.) planned that you can do.\\n3-2. Ask before you borrow something.\\nYour siblings probably have something that you like and would like to use from time to time. Always ask to borrow the item before you use it. Your sibling may need it or might not want to share with you.\\nSay, \\\"Hey, can I borrow your ___. I'll give it back to you tomorrow.\\\"\\nIf you do borrow something, take care of it and bring it back in the same condition that you got it. For example, do not borrow their phone and bring it back with a cracked screen.\\nIf your sibling says no, you can politely ask them why. You might be able to convince them if you know the reason.\\nIf your sibling refuses to share with you, do not beg or whine. Accept their answer.\\n3-3. Never eavesdrop.\\nEavesdropping will get you nowhere. You usually want answers, and you'll end up right back where you started because your sister/brother will find out and you'll lose their trust. If your sibling wants you to know something, they will tell you.\\nIf you do eavesdrop and overhear something, do not repeat it to other people (e.g. your friends, parents, etc.)\\nIf your sibling is on the phone or having a conversation that does not involve you, go to another room and do something else.\\n3-4. Don't be a tattle-tale.\\nIf there is something small that your sibling did, don't run to tell your mom. Talk to them before you tell your parents. If you can't work it out, then tell them. If your sibling is in danger or going to do something illegal, you can go ahead and tell your parents.\\nIf you are a tattle-tale, your siblings will not be able to trust you.\\nKeeping secrets is a special, fun part of having siblings.\\n4. Accepting Your Role in the Family\\n4-1. Try not to be jealous.\\nYou may get jealous of your sibling for many reasons. Maybe they get more attention from your parents, make better grades, or receive more compliments from other people. Getting jealous from time to time is normal, but you should not let it affect how you treat your sibling.\\nAnytime you feel jealous, remind yourself of something you accomplished. For example, if your sibling made straight \\\"A's,\\\" think about how well you did at your dance recital.\\nCongratulate your siblings when they accomplish something. If you support them, they are more likely to support you.\\nIf you begin to feel jealous, take a deep breath and as yourself, \\\"Am I upset with my sibling or do I wish the situation was different?\\\"\\nIf you are having problems with jealousy, talk to your parents or write your feelings down in a journal. It is best to deal with your feelings instead of keeping them in.\\n4-2. Do not compare yourself.\\nYou probably compare yourself to your older siblings. They may have special privileges or get to do things that you do not get to do. Your parents may also deal with them differently than they deal with you. This is not because you are not special or that your parents love you any less.\\nYour siblings have different privileges because they are older. You will get more privileges as you become older.\\nYour siblings may also be able to do things that you can't do yet. For example, your sibling may be able to ride a bike really well, but you are having a hard time. Remember that your sibling has had more time to practice, and they were not always good at riding a bike. Just keep practicing.\\n4-3. Understand that you may have different interests.\\nAs a little sister, your siblings may not always be interested in the same things that you are. This is more likely to happen if there is a large age gap between you and your siblings. Having different interests is normal and healthy.\\nFor example, maybe your sibling is a teenager and has begun dating. They may spend less time with you. Remember that nothing is wrong with you and that your sibling still loves you.\\nSpend time doing the things that you are interested in and spend more time with your parents and friends. If you are busy, you will not be as sad about your sibling doing things without you.\\nTips\\nDon't lie to your siblings. That will damage the relationship between the two of you.\\nSome things just aren't worth fighting about. Choose your battles with your siblings.\\nStaying calm and expressing your feelings with words can only help you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good little sister can be tough. You want to spend time with your older siblings and have fun. However, sometimes you may fight or feel like you are not getting enough attention. Don't worry. You can learn to be a good little sister and have a good relationship with your siblings.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating with Your Siblings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say sorry when you need to.\", \"描述\": \"You won't always get along with your older siblings. You may hurt their feelings or make a mistake. When you apologize, you are admitting that you have done something wrong and are trying to fix it. When you apologize, be specific about what you did and how you will change your behavior. Here are some ways you can say you're sorry:\\n\\\"I'm sorry for being mean to you.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm sorry for ___. I won't do it again.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?\\\"\\nYour sibling may not forgive you right away. Give them a little time and space.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do not talk if they are talking.\", \"描述\": \"If your sibling is talking to you or someone else, listen to them before you start to talk. Jumping in a conversation is disrespectful and can make you seem annoying.\\nLive by the rule that only one person talks at a time.\\nBe a good listener and take turns talking.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Express your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being a good little sister is telling your siblings how you feel. If they have done something that has hurt your feelings or made you mad, let them know. If they did something that you really appreciate, let them know that as well.\\nFor instance, you might talk about how you feel jealous of your sibling for getting more attention from your parents, or how you want to spend more time together.\\nNever be afraid to talk to your siblings. Even if you guys fuss and fight, they still love you and want the best for you.\\nBeing able to talk will help build trust between you guys.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do nice things for your siblings.\", \"描述\": \"If you are nice to your siblings, they are more likely to be nice to you. Doing kind things for someone is a way to let them know that you love them and you appreciate them. This is a really good strategy if you have been annoying or mean and want to make it up to your sibling.\\nIf you are at the store with your parent, try to bring something home that you know your sibling will like.\\nYou could also take out the trash for your sibling or do one of their chores one week.\\nDo not tell your sibling what you plan to do. Let it be a surprise.\\nWhen you do something nice, do not expect anything in return. Do it because you love and appreciate your sibling.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Resolving Conflicts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make an appointment to talk.\", \"描述\": \"If there is an issue that needs to be worked out, set up a time that you will meet to talk. Tell your sibling how you feel and then listen to their side. Try to stay as calm as possible.\\nIf you and your sibling are not good at working things out on your own, ask a parent to be there during the talk. Your parent can make sure that things do not get too heated.\\nTry to stick to the specific issue you are having. For example, if the problem is that your sibling is spending too long in the bathroom before school, do not bring up how your sibling never lets you pick a show on the television.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand your sibling's perspective.\", \"描述\": \"When you are fighting, it can be hard to understand how your sibling feels. For example, maybe your sibling kicked you out of their room because they wanted to be alone. You may feel that your sibling is being mean to you and does not want to spend time with you. However, your sibling may have had a bad day and need some alone time.\\nInstead of jumping to conclusions, ask your sibling, \\\"Why did you say that?\\\" or \\\"are you feeling ok?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid name calling.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your sibling are not getting along, calling them a name or putting them down, will only make things worse.\\n This can be really difficult if you are upset. If you are too mad too talk, get away from your sibling until you calm down.\\nTell your sibling, \\\"I'm really mad right now. I want to be alone. I'll talk to you later.\\\"\\nEven if your sibling calls you a name, do not say something mean back to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find a solution that helps both of you.\", \"描述\": \"To resolve a conflict, both people involved should get something that they want. If the solution is one-sided, only one person will be happy and the fighting may continue. You may have to give up something or offer something in return.\\nFor example, if you want to play with your sibling's phone you may say, \\\"You can play my video game if you let me borrow your phone.\\\" You offer something you have that your sibling wants, so you can get something that you want.\\nIf you are not sure of a good compromise, ask your sibling, \\\"What would make you happy?\\\" or \\\"Is there anything I can do for you/give you?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to work things out on your own.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your siblings are fighting, try to work it out on your own before you get your parents involved. Try to talk and find a solution that works for the both of you. Solving problems on your own will strengthen your relationship and show your parents that you are responsible.\\nIf your sibling refuses to compromise with you, physically hurts you, threatens you, or bullies you, let your parents know.\\nDeal with problems as they happen. Do not let things build up.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Respectful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not bother them when they have company.\", \"描述\": \"When your siblings have friends over (and that includes boyfriends/girlfriends), don't bother them. You might want to talk and hang out with them or play with them, but they deserve their time alone. Wait until they call you. They will appreciate that and more likely want you to come back.\\nIf you start to hang out with them and they ask, \\\"Can you get out now?\\\" say, \\\"Sure\\\" and go and do something else.\\nIf you know that your sibling has company coming, already have some activities (e.g. play outside, read, watch a movie, play video games, color, etc.) planned that you can do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask before you borrow something.\", \"描述\": \"Your siblings probably have something that you like and would like to use from time to time. Always ask to borrow the item before you use it. Your sibling may need it or might not want to share with you.\\nSay, \\\"Hey, can I borrow your ___. I'll give it back to you tomorrow.\\\"\\nIf you do borrow something, take care of it and bring it back in the same condition that you got it. For example, do not borrow their phone and bring it back with a cracked screen.\\nIf your sibling says no, you can politely ask them why. You might be able to convince them if you know the reason.\\nIf your sibling refuses to share with you, do not beg or whine. Accept their answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Never eavesdrop.\", \"描述\": \"Eavesdropping will get you nowhere. You usually want answers, and you'll end up right back where you started because your sister/brother will find out and you'll lose their trust. If your sibling wants you to know something, they will tell you.\\nIf you do eavesdrop and overhear something, do not repeat it to other people (e.g. your friends, parents, etc.)\\nIf your sibling is on the phone or having a conversation that does not involve you, go to another room and do something else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't be a tattle-tale.\", \"描述\": \"If there is something small that your sibling did, don't run to tell your mom. Talk to them before you tell your parents. If you can't work it out, then tell them. If your sibling is in danger or going to do something illegal, you can go ahead and tell your parents.\\nIf you are a tattle-tale, your siblings will not be able to trust you.\\nKeeping secrets is a special, fun part of having siblings.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accepting Your Role in the Family\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try not to be jealous.\", \"描述\": \"You may get jealous of your sibling for many reasons. Maybe they get more attention from your parents, make better grades, or receive more compliments from other people. Getting jealous from time to time is normal, but you should not let it affect how you treat your sibling.\\nAnytime you feel jealous, remind yourself of something you accomplished. For example, if your sibling made straight \\\"A's,\\\" think about how well you did at your dance recital.\\nCongratulate your siblings when they accomplish something. If you support them, they are more likely to support you.\\nIf you begin to feel jealous, take a deep breath and as yourself, \\\"Am I upset with my sibling or do I wish the situation was different?\\\"\\nIf you are having problems with jealousy, talk to your parents or write your feelings down in a journal. It is best to deal with your feelings instead of keeping them in.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do not compare yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You probably compare yourself to your older siblings. They may have special privileges or get to do things that you do not get to do. Your parents may also deal with them differently than they deal with you. This is not because you are not special or that your parents love you any less.\\nYour siblings have different privileges because they are older. You will get more privileges as you become older.\\nYour siblings may also be able to do things that you can't do yet. For example, your sibling may be able to ride a bike really well, but you are having a hard time. Remember that your sibling has had more time to practice, and they were not always good at riding a bike. Just keep practicing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand that you may have different interests.\", \"描述\": \"As a little sister, your siblings may not always be interested in the same things that you are. This is more likely to happen if there is a large age gap between you and your siblings. Having different interests is normal and healthy.\\nFor example, maybe your sibling is a teenager and has begun dating. They may spend less time with you. Remember that nothing is wrong with you and that your sibling still loves you.\\nSpend time doing the things that you are interested in and spend more time with your parents and friends. If you are busy, you will not be as sad about your sibling doing things without you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't lie to your siblings. That will damage the relationship between the two of you.\\n\", \"Some things just aren't worth fighting about. Choose your battles with your siblings.\\n\", \"Staying calm and expressing your feelings with words can only help you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,477 |
How to Be a Good Manager
|
1. Motivating Your Employees
1-1. Motivate people.
Why are the employees there? What keeps them with your organization and stops them from going somewhere else? What makes the good days good? What makes them stick with the organization after a bad day or a bad week? Don't assume it's money - most people are more complex than that.
Remember, our values are what make us "tick." If you manage by respecting your team's values, they will give you their best effort.
Ask the employees how they're liking their job on a regular basis. Encourage them to be honest with you. Then take action based upon what they tell you.
Offer perks that your employees will value. If health is important to them, give them time to go to the gym and work out. If their family is important, respect the time they may need to send their kids off to school in the morning or pick them up in the afternoon.
1-2. Make people feel good.
The successful manager is great at identifying employees' strengths and applauding them every once in a while. That's because good managers know that happy people make productive people. Try to applaud your employees' strengths both publicly and privately.
In a meeting with your boss, for example, mention something one of your workers did well. If your boss happens to mention to that worker that you said something good about them, they're likely to feel that you appreciate them and made the effort to put in a good word. That sort of compliment doesn't go unnoticed.
Privately laud what your employees do well. Tell them when you have a moment. Go into detail. A private chat, however short, can have a positive impact on morale, resulting in more self-motivation.
1-3. Tell your employees how much you appreciate them from time to time.
Just go out and say it. Ask them out for a cup of coffee and tell them what you appreciate about them: They're a hard worker; they effectively motivate other people; they're easy to coach; they're disciplined or go the extra mile; they always cheer you up, etc. Don't mince words — just tell them straight out. An employee who knows just how much they are appreciated will work harder, enjoy what they do more, and pass that psychic happiness along to other employees.
1-4. Treat everyone equally.
Most of us aren't as egalitarian as we'd like to be. Many times, favoritism happens on a subconscious level. The tendency is to give more positive recognition to the people who remind us of ourselves somehow and who actually like us, rather than to the people who make the biggest contributions to the organization. In the long run, it's people in the latter group who will make the most progress in achieving the organization's goals, so monitor your own behavior carefully and make sure you're not accidentally short-changing them, even if they give you the impression that your positive regard doesn't affect them. Some people shy away from positive feedback but appreciate it nonetheless.
1-5. Treat your employees well.
If you're good to your workers and they're happy with their jobs, they'll pass that kindness on to customers and invaluably bolster the image of your company. Or, they'll do the same for their employees and maintain a positive corporate culture.
2. Setting Goals
2-1. Under-promise, over-deliver.
This idea can apply to several different areas of life, but it's a great managerial mantra. Do you want to be the kind of person who has wildly optimistic goals that they never meet, or do you want to be the kind of person who sets measured goals and ends up exceeding them by leaps and bounds? Although this is about image, image is extremely important.
Don't be the kind of person who never shoots for the moon. Staying measured in your goals doesn't mean that you should always play it conservative, never setting high goals. A manager who never punches above her weight can come across as lacking ambition. Even the conservative poker player knows they need to go 'all-in' from time to time.
2-2. Make sure each employee knows what's expected.
Having concrete goals empowers your employees and keeps them focused on work. Explicitly outline what you expect, when the deadline is, and what you'll do with the results.
2-3. Offer goal-oriented feedback.
Providing your employees with quick feedback that's focused on their work can help foster improvement. Meet in small teams or one-on-one, and go over your comments in detail.
Set up a schedule for feedback. Offer it regularly so that your employees know when to expect it and can make space for it in their workflows.
2-4. Hold yourself to the highest standards.
We all know the kind of manager who constantly shouts or bitterly complains when mistakes are made but gives themselves a 'pass' when they fail. Don't be this kind of manager. Ideally, be harder to on yourself than you are on your employees. This can have a trickle-down effect: Employees see the types of goals and standards you set for yourself and want to emulate you because they look up to you.
3. Delegating Responsibility
3-1. Delegate.
You're a manager because you're good at what you do, but that doesn't mean you're supposed to do everything yourself. Your job as a manager is to teach other people how to do a good job.
Start small. Give people tasks that, if performed incorrectly, can be fixed. Take the opportunity to teach and empower your employees. Then gradually give them tasks with greater responsibility as you come to understand their strengths and weaknesses.
Learn how to anticipate any problems they might have so you can coach them properly before they begin.
3-2. Assign tasks that will stretch your employees.
As your workers begin to take on more responsibility and demonstrate that they're capable, give them tasks that will expand their skills and help them take more ownership of their work. Not only are you finding out how much your employees can handle, you're making them more valuable to the company.
3-3. Assume responsibility for your employees' mistakes.
When one of your underlings makes a mistake, don't lord it over them; assume the mistake as your own, even if it isn't technically yours. What you're doing is creating a culture where your employees feel comfortable making mistakes. This is a very important concept:
Doing this allows your employees to innovate and, ultimately, to learn or grow. Workers who learn from their mistakes will grow to become better workers; those who fail to make mistakes in the first place usually play it too safe, never venturing out into deep water.
3-4. Don't take credit for your employees' achievements.
Let them take credit for their own achievements. This motivates them to continue to chase after success. The successful manager is like a conductor that orchestrates the music so that each element sounds as good as possible and resonates with the group as a whole. A great conductor will lead by example, blending into the background.
What happens if you're the type of manager who "steals" someone's idea and plays it off as your own? You send the message that you only care about your image and are ruthless enough to sacrifice someone else in order to get ahead. That's not a great image to have, and it certainly doesn't motivate the people below you to work harder.
You may be thinking — take responsibility for other people's mistakes and don't take credit for what your employees do; where does that leave me? If you do good work and you're an effective manager, you shouldn't worry about dressing up your laurels. People will recognize the work that you do. Even more important, they'll be impressed that you motivate your employees, know how to be humble, and stay out of the way. If you work hard, you'll get your dues.
3-5. Acknowledge your own missteps.
When things don't turn out the way you expected, recognize what you could have done differently and verbalize this realization to your employees. This shows them that you make mistakes too, and it also shows them how they should handle their own mistakes.
Whenever you're doing something correctly after having done it incorrectly in the past, let whoever is watching know. For example: "The reason I know to press this button is because this happened to me when I first started out, and I made the mistake of pressing the blue button, thinking 'This will shut down the system, which should resolve the issue' and I found out — the hard way — that it makes the issue even worse!"
4. Communicating Effectively
4-1. Keep the door open.
Always remind people that if they have any questions or concerns, you're ready and willing to listen. Maintaining an open channel of communication will make you aware of problems quickly, so that you can fix them as soon as possible.
Don't be one of those managers who inadvertently makes an employee feel like they're bothering you when they bring up a question or concern. Instead of seeing it as another crisis to manage, look at it as an opportunity to show your employee how much you want this organization to be a fulfilling place to work.
Never minimize or dismiss the concerns of your employees, and always make sure that you've answered their questions completely.
4-2. Take an interest in your employees.
Don't make every interaction with your workers strictly business. Ask after their well-being, chat with them about yourself, and establish a personal connection.
Being in-tune with your employees' lives outside the office can potentially alert you to times when that person needs extra consideration from you, for instance if he or she requires sudden time off for a family funeral. If you can be accommodating about upheavals in the personal lives of your workers, they'll feel good about rewarding you with loyalty.
Know your boundaries. Don't overstep and ask your employees about anything too personal, such as religion, politics, or personal relationships. You can keep up a friendly rapport without being invasive.
4-3. Don't mix positive and negative feedback.
Say you're giving your employee feedback in a performance review. You start off by mentioning how great the employee is to work with, and note one or two additional things they've excelled at. Then you launch into an extended itemization of their deficits — "sales were down this quarter," "revenue slipped," etc. What do you think the employee hears most resoundingly, the positive or the negative?
When you mix positive and negative feedback, both areas suffer. The positive becomes overshadowed by the negative, and the negative doesn't carry the full force of its potential impact. Of course, there may be situations where you'd want to communicate this, but on the whole it makes communication less effective.
When you silo positive and negative feedback, the positive stands out even more and the negative becomes more urgent.
4-4. Listen.
Listen to what your employees and coworkers have to say. You don't always need to be the driver of meetings, keeping others out by dominating the podium. Always make a sincere effort to listen, but be on the lookout most during the following situations:
When employees are actively sharing ideas. Don't butt in and talk just to make sure your voice is part of the mix. This can put the idea-sharing into a stranglehold.
When emotions are turbulent. Let people voice their emotions in a safe, controlled environment. Stifled emotions can turn into resentment, eroding your working relationship. Similarly, emotions that are not adequately dealt with can interfere with rational discussion, which should be the mainstay of your work environment.
When teams are building relationships or having discussions. Offer your employees a receptive ear when they're building relationships and getting creative.
4-5. Clarify what you're hearing.
A good manager not only strives to make herself clearer, but also strives to understand what those around her are saying. You can do this by repeating what the other person has said as a part of your conversation. Use this technique when you're not exactly sure what the other person is saying.
Instead of asking your co-worker "I'm sorry, can you repeat what you just said? I'm not sure I understood." say something like "So you're saying that we could drive up productivity by offering more meaningful incentives. What might that look like in the flesh?"
4-6. Ask questions.
Intelligent questions show that you can follow the flow of the conversation and clarify when necessary. Don't be afraid to ask questions because you're worried about appearing "stupid." Effective managers care about understanding what's important; they don't care about how they get there. Know, too, that others will probably have questions and may not ask. If you ask their question for them, you can act as a facilitator and build your team's engagement level. That's the true mark of a manager.
Tips
Be good to your team. Without them you can't succeed.
Avoid making employees stay after normal working hours. Respect their time and personal commitments and they will reciprocate by producing exceptional results for their manager and the organization.
Celebrate success with your team, whether it's by giving them a pat on the back, taking them to lunch, or giving them the afternoon off.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Motivating Your Employees\\n1-1. Motivate people.\\nWhy are the employees there? What keeps them with your organization and stops them from going somewhere else? What makes the good days good? What makes them stick with the organization after a bad day or a bad week? Don't assume it's money - most people are more complex than that.\\nRemember, our values are what make us \\\"tick.\\\" If you manage by respecting your team's values, they will give you their best effort.\\nAsk the employees how they're liking their job on a regular basis. Encourage them to be honest with you. Then take action based upon what they tell you.\\nOffer perks that your employees will value. If health is important to them, give them time to go to the gym and work out. If their family is important, respect the time they may need to send their kids off to school in the morning or pick them up in the afternoon.\\n1-2. Make people feel good.\\nThe successful manager is great at identifying employees' strengths and applauding them every once in a while. That's because good managers know that happy people make productive people. Try to applaud your employees' strengths both publicly and privately.\\nIn a meeting with your boss, for example, mention something one of your workers did well. If your boss happens to mention to that worker that you said something good about them, they're likely to feel that you appreciate them and made the effort to put in a good word. That sort of compliment doesn't go unnoticed.\\nPrivately laud what your employees do well. Tell them when you have a moment. Go into detail. A private chat, however short, can have a positive impact on morale, resulting in more self-motivation.\\n1-3. Tell your employees how much you appreciate them from time to time.\\nJust go out and say it. Ask them out for a cup of coffee and tell them what you appreciate about them: They're a hard worker; they effectively motivate other people; they're easy to coach; they're disciplined or go the extra mile; they always cheer you up, etc. Don't mince words — just tell them straight out. An employee who knows just how much they are appreciated will work harder, enjoy what they do more, and pass that psychic happiness along to other employees.\\n1-4. Treat everyone equally.\\nMost of us aren't as egalitarian as we'd like to be. Many times, favoritism happens on a subconscious level. The tendency is to give more positive recognition to the people who remind us of ourselves somehow and who actually like us, rather than to the people who make the biggest contributions to the organization. In the long run, it's people in the latter group who will make the most progress in achieving the organization's goals, so monitor your own behavior carefully and make sure you're not accidentally short-changing them, even if they give you the impression that your positive regard doesn't affect them. Some people shy away from positive feedback but appreciate it nonetheless.\\n1-5. Treat your employees well.\\nIf you're good to your workers and they're happy with their jobs, they'll pass that kindness on to customers and invaluably bolster the image of your company. Or, they'll do the same for their employees and maintain a positive corporate culture.\\n2. Setting Goals\\n2-1. Under-promise, over-deliver.\\nThis idea can apply to several different areas of life, but it's a great managerial mantra. Do you want to be the kind of person who has wildly optimistic goals that they never meet, or do you want to be the kind of person who sets measured goals and ends up exceeding them by leaps and bounds? Although this is about image, image is extremely important.\\nDon't be the kind of person who never shoots for the moon. Staying measured in your goals doesn't mean that you should always play it conservative, never setting high goals. A manager who never punches above her weight can come across as lacking ambition. Even the conservative poker player knows they need to go 'all-in' from time to time.\\n2-2. Make sure each employee knows what's expected.\\nHaving concrete goals empowers your employees and keeps them focused on work. Explicitly outline what you expect, when the deadline is, and what you'll do with the results.\\n2-3. Offer goal-oriented feedback.\\nProviding your employees with quick feedback that's focused on their work can help foster improvement. Meet in small teams or one-on-one, and go over your comments in detail.\\nSet up a schedule for feedback. Offer it regularly so that your employees know when to expect it and can make space for it in their workflows.\\n2-4. Hold yourself to the highest standards.\\nWe all know the kind of manager who constantly shouts or bitterly complains when mistakes are made but gives themselves a 'pass' when they fail. Don't be this kind of manager. Ideally, be harder to on yourself than you are on your employees. This can have a trickle-down effect: Employees see the types of goals and standards you set for yourself and want to emulate you because they look up to you.\\n3. Delegating Responsibility\\n3-1. Delegate.\\nYou're a manager because you're good at what you do, but that doesn't mean you're supposed to do everything yourself. Your job as a manager is to teach other people how to do a good job.\\nStart small. Give people tasks that, if performed incorrectly, can be fixed. Take the opportunity to teach and empower your employees. Then gradually give them tasks with greater responsibility as you come to understand their strengths and weaknesses.\\nLearn how to anticipate any problems they might have so you can coach them properly before they begin.\\n3-2. Assign tasks that will stretch your employees.\\nAs your workers begin to take on more responsibility and demonstrate that they're capable, give them tasks that will expand their skills and help them take more ownership of their work. Not only are you finding out how much your employees can handle, you're making them more valuable to the company.\\n3-3. Assume responsibility for your employees' mistakes.\\nWhen one of your underlings makes a mistake, don't lord it over them; assume the mistake as your own, even if it isn't technically yours. What you're doing is creating a culture where your employees feel comfortable making mistakes. This is a very important concept:\\nDoing this allows your employees to innovate and, ultimately, to learn or grow. Workers who learn from their mistakes will grow to become better workers; those who fail to make mistakes in the first place usually play it too safe, never venturing out into deep water.\\n3-4. Don't take credit for your employees' achievements.\\nLet them take credit for their own achievements. This motivates them to continue to chase after success. The successful manager is like a conductor that orchestrates the music so that each element sounds as good as possible and resonates with the group as a whole. A great conductor will lead by example, blending into the background.\\nWhat happens if you're the type of manager who \\\"steals\\\" someone's idea and plays it off as your own? You send the message that you only care about your image and are ruthless enough to sacrifice someone else in order to get ahead. That's not a great image to have, and it certainly doesn't motivate the people below you to work harder.\\nYou may be thinking — take responsibility for other people's mistakes and don't take credit for what your employees do; where does that leave me? If you do good work and you're an effective manager, you shouldn't worry about dressing up your laurels. People will recognize the work that you do. Even more important, they'll be impressed that you motivate your employees, know how to be humble, and stay out of the way. If you work hard, you'll get your dues.\\n3-5. Acknowledge your own missteps.\\nWhen things don't turn out the way you expected, recognize what you could have done differently and verbalize this realization to your employees. This shows them that you make mistakes too, and it also shows them how they should handle their own mistakes.\\nWhenever you're doing something correctly after having done it incorrectly in the past, let whoever is watching know. For example: \\\"The reason I know to press this button is because this happened to me when I first started out, and I made the mistake of pressing the blue button, thinking 'This will shut down the system, which should resolve the issue' and I found out — the hard way — that it makes the issue even worse!\\\"\\n4. Communicating Effectively\\n4-1. Keep the door open.\\nAlways remind people that if they have any questions or concerns, you're ready and willing to listen. Maintaining an open channel of communication will make you aware of problems quickly, so that you can fix them as soon as possible.\\nDon't be one of those managers who inadvertently makes an employee feel like they're bothering you when they bring up a question or concern. Instead of seeing it as another crisis to manage, look at it as an opportunity to show your employee how much you want this organization to be a fulfilling place to work.\\nNever minimize or dismiss the concerns of your employees, and always make sure that you've answered their questions completely.\\n4-2. Take an interest in your employees.\\nDon't make every interaction with your workers strictly business. Ask after their well-being, chat with them about yourself, and establish a personal connection.\\nBeing in-tune with your employees' lives outside the office can potentially alert you to times when that person needs extra consideration from you, for instance if he or she requires sudden time off for a family funeral. If you can be accommodating about upheavals in the personal lives of your workers, they'll feel good about rewarding you with loyalty.\\nKnow your boundaries. Don't overstep and ask your employees about anything too personal, such as religion, politics, or personal relationships. You can keep up a friendly rapport without being invasive.\\n4-3. Don't mix positive and negative feedback.\\nSay you're giving your employee feedback in a performance review. You start off by mentioning how great the employee is to work with, and note one or two additional things they've excelled at. Then you launch into an extended itemization of their deficits — \\\"sales were down this quarter,\\\" \\\"revenue slipped,\\\" etc. What do you think the employee hears most resoundingly, the positive or the negative?\\nWhen you mix positive and negative feedback, both areas suffer. The positive becomes overshadowed by the negative, and the negative doesn't carry the full force of its potential impact. Of course, there may be situations where you'd want to communicate this, but on the whole it makes communication less effective.\\nWhen you silo positive and negative feedback, the positive stands out even more and the negative becomes more urgent.\\n4-4. Listen.\\nListen to what your employees and coworkers have to say. You don't always need to be the driver of meetings, keeping others out by dominating the podium. Always make a sincere effort to listen, but be on the lookout most during the following situations:\\nWhen employees are actively sharing ideas. Don't butt in and talk just to make sure your voice is part of the mix. This can put the idea-sharing into a stranglehold.\\nWhen emotions are turbulent. Let people voice their emotions in a safe, controlled environment. Stifled emotions can turn into resentment, eroding your working relationship. Similarly, emotions that are not adequately dealt with can interfere with rational discussion, which should be the mainstay of your work environment.\\nWhen teams are building relationships or having discussions. Offer your employees a receptive ear when they're building relationships and getting creative.\\n4-5. Clarify what you're hearing.\\nA good manager not only strives to make herself clearer, but also strives to understand what those around her are saying. You can do this by repeating what the other person has said as a part of your conversation. Use this technique when you're not exactly sure what the other person is saying.\\nInstead of asking your co-worker \\\"I'm sorry, can you repeat what you just said? I'm not sure I understood.\\\" say something like \\\"So you're saying that we could drive up productivity by offering more meaningful incentives. What might that look like in the flesh?\\\"\\n4-6. Ask questions.\\nIntelligent questions show that you can follow the flow of the conversation and clarify when necessary. Don't be afraid to ask questions because you're worried about appearing \\\"stupid.\\\" Effective managers care about understanding what's important; they don't care about how they get there. Know, too, that others will probably have questions and may not ask. If you ask their question for them, you can act as a facilitator and build your team's engagement level. That's the true mark of a manager.\\nTips\\nBe good to your team. Without them you can't succeed.\\nAvoid making employees stay after normal working hours. Respect their time and personal commitments and they will reciprocate by producing exceptional results for their manager and the organization.\\nCelebrate success with your team, whether it's by giving them a pat on the back, taking them to lunch, or giving them the afternoon off.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In every large organization, there's a hierarchy of management that keeps the whole operation running smoothly. A good manager is able to blend into the background, changing small things here and there to great effect. Being a good manager is about leading by example. It's one of the toughest jobs out there — in part because you have to manage other people's expectations — and also because it's one of the least acknowledged tasks. Despite this, there are several tricks of the trade that will help you successfully manage all your responsibility, in style and with verve.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Motivating Your Employees\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Motivate people.\", \"描述\": \"Why are the employees there? What keeps them with your organization and stops them from going somewhere else? What makes the good days good? What makes them stick with the organization after a bad day or a bad week? Don't assume it's money - most people are more complex than that.\\nRemember, our values are what make us \\\"tick.\\\" If you manage by respecting your team's values, they will give you their best effort.\\nAsk the employees how they're liking their job on a regular basis. Encourage them to be honest with you. Then take action based upon what they tell you.\\nOffer perks that your employees will value. If health is important to them, give them time to go to the gym and work out. If their family is important, respect the time they may need to send their kids off to school in the morning or pick them up in the afternoon.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make people feel good.\", \"描述\": \"The successful manager is great at identifying employees' strengths and applauding them every once in a while. That's because good managers know that happy people make productive people. Try to applaud your employees' strengths both publicly and privately.\\nIn a meeting with your boss, for example, mention something one of your workers did well. If your boss happens to mention to that worker that you said something good about them, they're likely to feel that you appreciate them and made the effort to put in a good word. That sort of compliment doesn't go unnoticed.\\nPrivately laud what your employees do well. Tell them when you have a moment. Go into detail. A private chat, however short, can have a positive impact on morale, resulting in more self-motivation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell your employees how much you appreciate them from time to time.\", \"描述\": \"Just go out and say it. Ask them out for a cup of coffee and tell them what you appreciate about them: They're a hard worker; they effectively motivate other people; they're easy to coach; they're disciplined or go the extra mile; they always cheer you up, etc. Don't mince words — just tell them straight out. An employee who knows just how much they are appreciated will work harder, enjoy what they do more, and pass that psychic happiness along to other employees.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Treat everyone equally.\", \"描述\": \"Most of us aren't as egalitarian as we'd like to be. Many times, favoritism happens on a subconscious level. The tendency is to give more positive recognition to the people who remind us of ourselves somehow and who actually like us, rather than to the people who make the biggest contributions to the organization. In the long run, it's people in the latter group who will make the most progress in achieving the organization's goals, so monitor your own behavior carefully and make sure you're not accidentally short-changing them, even if they give you the impression that your positive regard doesn't affect them. Some people shy away from positive feedback but appreciate it nonetheless.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Treat your employees well.\", \"描述\": \"If you're good to your workers and they're happy with their jobs, they'll pass that kindness on to customers and invaluably bolster the image of your company. Or, they'll do the same for their employees and maintain a positive corporate culture.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Setting Goals\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Under-promise, over-deliver.\", \"描述\": \"This idea can apply to several different areas of life, but it's a great managerial mantra. Do you want to be the kind of person who has wildly optimistic goals that they never meet, or do you want to be the kind of person who sets measured goals and ends up exceeding them by leaps and bounds? Although this is about image, image is extremely important.\\nDon't be the kind of person who never shoots for the moon. Staying measured in your goals doesn't mean that you should always play it conservative, never setting high goals. A manager who never punches above her weight can come across as lacking ambition. Even the conservative poker player knows they need to go 'all-in' from time to time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure each employee knows what's expected.\", \"描述\": \"Having concrete goals empowers your employees and keeps them focused on work. Explicitly outline what you expect, when the deadline is, and what you'll do with the results.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Offer goal-oriented feedback.\", \"描述\": \"Providing your employees with quick feedback that's focused on their work can help foster improvement. Meet in small teams or one-on-one, and go over your comments in detail.\\nSet up a schedule for feedback. Offer it regularly so that your employees know when to expect it and can make space for it in their workflows.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hold yourself to the highest standards.\", \"描述\": \"We all know the kind of manager who constantly shouts or bitterly complains when mistakes are made but gives themselves a 'pass' when they fail. Don't be this kind of manager. Ideally, be harder to on yourself than you are on your employees. This can have a trickle-down effect: Employees see the types of goals and standards you set for yourself and want to emulate you because they look up to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Delegating Responsibility\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Delegate.\", \"描述\": \"You're a manager because you're good at what you do, but that doesn't mean you're supposed to do everything yourself. Your job as a manager is to teach other people how to do a good job.\\nStart small. Give people tasks that, if performed incorrectly, can be fixed. Take the opportunity to teach and empower your employees. Then gradually give them tasks with greater responsibility as you come to understand their strengths and weaknesses.\\nLearn how to anticipate any problems they might have so you can coach them properly before they begin.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assign tasks that will stretch your employees.\", \"描述\": \"As your workers begin to take on more responsibility and demonstrate that they're capable, give them tasks that will expand their skills and help them take more ownership of their work. Not only are you finding out how much your employees can handle, you're making them more valuable to the company.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Assume responsibility for your employees' mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"When one of your underlings makes a mistake, don't lord it over them; assume the mistake as your own, even if it isn't technically yours. What you're doing is creating a culture where your employees feel comfortable making mistakes. This is a very important concept:\\nDoing this allows your employees to innovate and, ultimately, to learn or grow. Workers who learn from their mistakes will grow to become better workers; those who fail to make mistakes in the first place usually play it too safe, never venturing out into deep water.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't take credit for your employees' achievements.\", \"描述\": \"Let them take credit for their own achievements. This motivates them to continue to chase after success. The successful manager is like a conductor that orchestrates the music so that each element sounds as good as possible and resonates with the group as a whole. A great conductor will lead by example, blending into the background.\\nWhat happens if you're the type of manager who \\\"steals\\\" someone's idea and plays it off as your own? You send the message that you only care about your image and are ruthless enough to sacrifice someone else in order to get ahead. That's not a great image to have, and it certainly doesn't motivate the people below you to work harder.\\nYou may be thinking — take responsibility for other people's mistakes and don't take credit for what your employees do; where does that leave me? If you do good work and you're an effective manager, you shouldn't worry about dressing up your laurels. People will recognize the work that you do. Even more important, they'll be impressed that you motivate your employees, know how to be humble, and stay out of the way. If you work hard, you'll get your dues.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your own missteps.\", \"描述\": \"When things don't turn out the way you expected, recognize what you could have done differently and verbalize this realization to your employees. This shows them that you make mistakes too, and it also shows them how they should handle their own mistakes.\\nWhenever you're doing something correctly after having done it incorrectly in the past, let whoever is watching know. For example: \\\"The reason I know to press this button is because this happened to me when I first started out, and I made the mistake of pressing the blue button, thinking 'This will shut down the system, which should resolve the issue' and I found out — the hard way — that it makes the issue even worse!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Communicating Effectively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep the door open.\", \"描述\": \"Always remind people that if they have any questions or concerns, you're ready and willing to listen. Maintaining an open channel of communication will make you aware of problems quickly, so that you can fix them as soon as possible.\\nDon't be one of those managers who inadvertently makes an employee feel like they're bothering you when they bring up a question or concern. Instead of seeing it as another crisis to manage, look at it as an opportunity to show your employee how much you want this organization to be a fulfilling place to work.\\nNever minimize or dismiss the concerns of your employees, and always make sure that you've answered their questions completely.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take an interest in your employees.\", \"描述\": \"Don't make every interaction with your workers strictly business. Ask after their well-being, chat with them about yourself, and establish a personal connection.\\nBeing in-tune with your employees' lives outside the office can potentially alert you to times when that person needs extra consideration from you, for instance if he or she requires sudden time off for a family funeral. If you can be accommodating about upheavals in the personal lives of your workers, they'll feel good about rewarding you with loyalty.\\nKnow your boundaries. Don't overstep and ask your employees about anything too personal, such as religion, politics, or personal relationships. You can keep up a friendly rapport without being invasive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't mix positive and negative feedback.\", \"描述\": \"Say you're giving your employee feedback in a performance review. You start off by mentioning how great the employee is to work with, and note one or two additional things they've excelled at. Then you launch into an extended itemization of their deficits — \\\"sales were down this quarter,\\\" \\\"revenue slipped,\\\" etc. What do you think the employee hears most resoundingly, the positive or the negative?\\nWhen you mix positive and negative feedback, both areas suffer. The positive becomes overshadowed by the negative, and the negative doesn't carry the full force of its potential impact. Of course, there may be situations where you'd want to communicate this, but on the whole it makes communication less effective.\\nWhen you silo positive and negative feedback, the positive stands out even more and the negative becomes more urgent.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen.\", \"描述\": \"Listen to what your employees and coworkers have to say. You don't always need to be the driver of meetings, keeping others out by dominating the podium. Always make a sincere effort to listen, but be on the lookout most during the following situations:\\nWhen employees are actively sharing ideas. Don't butt in and talk just to make sure your voice is part of the mix. This can put the idea-sharing into a stranglehold.\\nWhen emotions are turbulent. Let people voice their emotions in a safe, controlled environment. Stifled emotions can turn into resentment, eroding your working relationship. Similarly, emotions that are not adequately dealt with can interfere with rational discussion, which should be the mainstay of your work environment.\\nWhen teams are building relationships or having discussions. Offer your employees a receptive ear when they're building relationships and getting creative.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Clarify what you're hearing.\", \"描述\": \"A good manager not only strives to make herself clearer, but also strives to understand what those around her are saying. You can do this by repeating what the other person has said as a part of your conversation. Use this technique when you're not exactly sure what the other person is saying.\\nInstead of asking your co-worker \\\"I'm sorry, can you repeat what you just said? I'm not sure I understood.\\\" say something like \\\"So you're saying that we could drive up productivity by offering more meaningful incentives. What might that look like in the flesh?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"Intelligent questions show that you can follow the flow of the conversation and clarify when necessary. Don't be afraid to ask questions because you're worried about appearing \\\"stupid.\\\" Effective managers care about understanding what's important; they don't care about how they get there. Know, too, that others will probably have questions and may not ask. If you ask their question for them, you can act as a facilitator and build your team's engagement level. That's the true mark of a manager.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be good to your team. Without them you can't succeed.\\n\", \"Avoid making employees stay after normal working hours. Respect their time and personal commitments and they will reciprocate by producing exceptional results for their manager and the organization.\\n\", \"Celebrate success with your team, whether it's by giving them a pat on the back, taking them to lunch, or giving them the afternoon off.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,478 |
How to Be a Good Marketer
|
1. Developing Your Personal Skills
1-1. Develop your verbal communication skills.
Verbal communication is very important when selling products or services or communicating with clients or team members. Practice your communication skills by leading meetings, giving presentations, or practicing in front of a mirror.
Being a confident verbal communicator will establish your credibility as a marketer and make you more persuasive.
1-2. Practice your writing skills by writing in many different styles.
Write in as many different styles as you can to learn how to write in different tones and for different audiences. Try things like writing ad copy, landing pages, blog posts, and professional emails.
If you feel that your writing skills are weak, then you can take a writing course to improve them.
The more different audiences and channels you can write for, the more effectively you will be able to market products and services to a variety of demographics.
1-3. Take courses to learn about different marketing technologies.
There are free online courses about things like SEO, coding, and analytics software. Take some of these so you know at least a little bit about some of the different technologies that you will often be working with as a marketer.
If you work at a big company, there will often be departments or individuals that take care of the more technical stuff. However, if you know at least a little bit about these kinds of things, it is easier to collaborate across teams or handle small tasks yourself.
1-4. Work on developing good time management skills.
Create a personal system for staying organized to help you manage your time better. There are lots of time management blogs and other content online that can provide you with tips and tricks to make you more productive.
Being able to manage your time effectively is essential to being able to create overall marketing strategies and complex marketing campaigns.
1-5. Volunteer to get marketing experience in different areas.
Volunteering is a great way to gain invaluable marketing experience, especially if you are just starting out in the field. Find an organization that needs help with their marketing activities and volunteer to tackle the job.
For example, maybe your local parks and recreation society needs a community manager to handle their social media. You could volunteer for the task to gain experience in social media marketing.
Volunteering doesn’t have to be something formal. For instance, maybe you have a friend who is an entrepreneur launching a product of some kind. You could volunteer to help them out with their paid Internet advertising to help sell the product and gain experience.
2. Connecting with Your Audience
2-1. Look at data on existing customers to understand your customer base.
Check out all the data you have on people who have already purchased the product or service you are selling, such as information you have from online sales, or files you have on clients who bought your services. Identify common interests, demographics, and anything else they have in common to get to know your audience.
This will help guide all of your marketing strategies to reach more of the ideal audience and sell more of the product or service you are marketing.
2-2. Use the customer data to create buyer personas.
Look at things like age, profession, hobbies, interests, income, gender, and anything else you identified in the data about your customers to create a persona or personas of your ideal customers. Put together a single-page summary describing all of these traits for each buyer persona.
For example, if you are selling hiking boots, your buyer persona might be something like: Male aged 25-50, lives in the Pacific Northwest, works in a high paying job in the tech industry, loves doing outdoorsy things on the weekends, spends his free time reading blogs about hiking and camping gear, and follows adventure and travel lifestyle accounts on Instagram.
2-3. Be a storyteller to connect with customers on an emotional level.
Good marketers must be good storytellers. All of your marketing campaigns, no matter what channel they are through, need to tell a story to the customer to get them to connect with your product or service.
For example, if you are selling a backpack, you need to tell a story about that backpack that will make the customers want to buy it. Try to tell a story about the types of adventures owners of that backpack will have. For instance, perhaps they will be able to set off on rugged backcountry hiking adventures, or maybe they will go on an extended trip to Europe and see and experience all the different cultures and history there.
3. Creating Good Daily Habits
3-1. Set goals and prioritize tasks for all your marketing projects each day.
Marketers have the difficult job of managing multiple projects and tasks at any given time. This is why it’s important to set the goals you want to achieve each day, and then list out what your tasks are your priorities so that you can achieve those goals.
For example, if you need to provide a stakeholder report at the end of the day, then your first priority could be pulling together all the spreadsheets of data you have, then your next priority could be compiling relevant data into charts and graphs, and the last priority could be putting those charts and graphs into a slide presentation with some bullet points explaining the data.
Find a way to help you manage your time and priorities that works best for you. For some people, this can be as simple as manually writing out a list in a notebook, or for others, it can be helpful to use something like project management software to stay organized.
3-2. Monitor the web to see what the competition is doing.
Identify your main competitors and monitor what they publish or do marketing-wise each day. Take note of whether they are doing anything new or whether there are any opportunities you can take to promote your business.
You can use tools like Google Alerts, Hootsuite, Tweetdeck, and SocialMention to monitor your competition online and on social media so that you don’t miss any important updates or posts.
3-3. Read the news to stay current on your industry and new marketing trends.
Industries and marketing are changing rapidly, so you need to make sure you don’t fall behind. Read any publications relevant to the industry you work in, as well as publications about the marketing industry, and apply any learnings to your marketing campaigns.
You can use the same tools you use to monitor the competition online to set up alerts for certain keywords or hashtags so that you get the latest news online.
For example, if there is a new social media channel that is gaining traction among the photography community, and you are selling cameras, then you want to start developing a marketing strategy for that network as soon as possible.
3-4. Look for insights in data and make data-driven decisions every day.
Look at the data across all of your marketing channels and analyze it to see where customer leads and sales are coming from. Use the data to optimize your campaigns or to change your overall strategies.
For instance, if you see that 1 of your advertising channels is driving 80% of customer engagement, you might decide to allocate more budget there, and get rid of the other channel and replace it with another one to try something new.
If you aren’t a numbers person, then find someone who is and work with them to analyze data. People who have backgrounds in statistics, are good with Excel, and know how to use different analytics tools are invaluable on your marketing team.
3-5. Be creative and experiment with different strategies and tactics.
Experiment with 1 new marketing strategy or tactic every day. Brainstorm with your team or alone to come up with new ideas to drive growth with your marketing campaigns.
Every marketing strategy is unique to a certain product or service, situation, and audience. Try to tailor your marketing campaigns to your unique set of circumstances.
For example, you can try adding new keywords to your pay-per-click advertising campaigns on Google and see if it increases or decreases the number of clicks you get.
If you are only posting on your blog once a week, you could try posting twice a week or on a different day and see if it changes the amount of traffic you are getting.
3-6. Evaluate how you did at the end of each day and how you can improve.
Measure whether you were able to increase leads, sales, or get new clients. Think about whether you were able to prioritize efficiently and what your accomplishments for that day were. Tweak your routines and priorities the next day to be even more productive if you see areas for improvement.
For example, maybe you didn’t get all the reporting you needed to done one day. In that case, you can change around your list of priorities so that reporting is something you take care of first thing in the morning, then you can move on to strategic planning in the afternoon.
4. Using Effective Digital Marketing Tactics
4-1. Develop a content marketing strategy for the most relevant channels.
Look at how much traffic you are getting from each online content channel you have (like your blog, social media networks, and paid ads), then create a content schedule for publishing each type of content to each channel that focuses on the highest-traffic ones.
Content can come in the form of articles, social media posts, ads, and other digital marketing channels. Really, everything you do in marketing is content-based.
For instance, if you have a blog that is driving a large amount of traffic to your company’s site, then focus on creating quality content there every day. If you are receiving a lot of traffic via Instagram, then you want to make sure to keep publishing quality, engaging content there.
Just because you see that you need to focus on 1 area doesn’t mean you should completely ignore others. A well-rounded content strategy is key to a good digital marketing campaign.
4-2. Use visual marketing in your content and advertising to drive user engagement.
Things like videos, GIFs, and infographics posted on your social media channels or blog are great for creating user engagement. People love to share these things, which will give your brand more exposure.
Work with a good photographer or graphic designer to develop great visual content for your digital marketing strategies.
Content with relevant images receives 94% more views than content without.
4-3. Be very specific with your paid social media targeting.
Paid advertising via big channels such as Instagram and Facebook allows you to target a very specific audience that is more likely to buy your product or service. Use your buyer personas to help you target your ideal customers based on demographics.
You can target potential customers based on general things like age, location, and gender. Then, you can narrow it down even further based on things like what types of accounts they follow, what pages the like, or what posts they interact with.
For example, if you are selling basketballs in Canada, you can target people between the ages of 16-35 who live in Canada and have liked posts from the Toronto Raptors’ Facebook page or Instagram account.
4-4. Segment your email marketing lists to target certain niches of customers.
The most loyal and engaged customers often communicate by email. Segmenting email lists means separating them into different groups of people who meet different criteria to send different types of emails. This allows you to craft your emails to be more relevant to different groups of people.
For example, if you have a project management software company, you can send a certain email advertising an extra feature to users who have been active on their accounts in the past week who would be more likely to buy the extra feature. You could send a different email out to users who have signed up but have not started using the software to remind them to get started.
You can use split testing to test out different emails on a segment. Split testing refers to sending at least 2 different versions of an email to 2 different groups of a segment, and then seeing which one receives a higher open rate and more interactions to determine which email is best to send out to a larger audience of that segment.
4-5. Keep learning about digital marketing to stay up-to-date with the field.
Go to conferences, attend webinars, take courses, and network with other digital marketing professionals to keep developing your skills. Digital marketing is changing faster than any other area of marketing, so it is especially important to stay current.
Digital-specific things to stay aware of in marketing are algorithm changes in big search engines like Google, changes to social advertising, and the rise of new analytic technologies or digital marketing channels.
You can always learn new digital skills. For instance, if you are more of an analytics person, you can focus on learning how to write digital ad copy and blog content. The more different things you can do, the better you will be as an overall marketer.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing Your Personal Skills\\n1-1. Develop your verbal communication skills.\\nVerbal communication is very important when selling products or services or communicating with clients or team members. Practice your communication skills by leading meetings, giving presentations, or practicing in front of a mirror.\\nBeing a confident verbal communicator will establish your credibility as a marketer and make you more persuasive.\\n1-2. Practice your writing skills by writing in many different styles.\\nWrite in as many different styles as you can to learn how to write in different tones and for different audiences. Try things like writing ad copy, landing pages, blog posts, and professional emails.\\nIf you feel that your writing skills are weak, then you can take a writing course to improve them.\\nThe more different audiences and channels you can write for, the more effectively you will be able to market products and services to a variety of demographics.\\n1-3. Take courses to learn about different marketing technologies.\\nThere are free online courses about things like SEO, coding, and analytics software. Take some of these so you know at least a little bit about some of the different technologies that you will often be working with as a marketer.\\nIf you work at a big company, there will often be departments or individuals that take care of the more technical stuff. However, if you know at least a little bit about these kinds of things, it is easier to collaborate across teams or handle small tasks yourself.\\n1-4. Work on developing good time management skills.\\nCreate a personal system for staying organized to help you manage your time better. There are lots of time management blogs and other content online that can provide you with tips and tricks to make you more productive.\\nBeing able to manage your time effectively is essential to being able to create overall marketing strategies and complex marketing campaigns.\\n1-5. Volunteer to get marketing experience in different areas.\\nVolunteering is a great way to gain invaluable marketing experience, especially if you are just starting out in the field. Find an organization that needs help with their marketing activities and volunteer to tackle the job.\\nFor example, maybe your local parks and recreation society needs a community manager to handle their social media. You could volunteer for the task to gain experience in social media marketing.\\nVolunteering doesn’t have to be something formal. For instance, maybe you have a friend who is an entrepreneur launching a product of some kind. You could volunteer to help them out with their paid Internet advertising to help sell the product and gain experience.\\n2. Connecting with Your Audience\\n2-1. Look at data on existing customers to understand your customer base.\\nCheck out all the data you have on people who have already purchased the product or service you are selling, such as information you have from online sales, or files you have on clients who bought your services. Identify common interests, demographics, and anything else they have in common to get to know your audience.\\nThis will help guide all of your marketing strategies to reach more of the ideal audience and sell more of the product or service you are marketing.\\n2-2. Use the customer data to create buyer personas.\\nLook at things like age, profession, hobbies, interests, income, gender, and anything else you identified in the data about your customers to create a persona or personas of your ideal customers. Put together a single-page summary describing all of these traits for each buyer persona.\\nFor example, if you are selling hiking boots, your buyer persona might be something like: Male aged 25-50, lives in the Pacific Northwest, works in a high paying job in the tech industry, loves doing outdoorsy things on the weekends, spends his free time reading blogs about hiking and camping gear, and follows adventure and travel lifestyle accounts on Instagram.\\n2-3. Be a storyteller to connect with customers on an emotional level.\\nGood marketers must be good storytellers. All of your marketing campaigns, no matter what channel they are through, need to tell a story to the customer to get them to connect with your product or service.\\nFor example, if you are selling a backpack, you need to tell a story about that backpack that will make the customers want to buy it. Try to tell a story about the types of adventures owners of that backpack will have. For instance, perhaps they will be able to set off on rugged backcountry hiking adventures, or maybe they will go on an extended trip to Europe and see and experience all the different cultures and history there.\\n3. Creating Good Daily Habits\\n3-1. Set goals and prioritize tasks for all your marketing projects each day.\\nMarketers have the difficult job of managing multiple projects and tasks at any given time. This is why it’s important to set the goals you want to achieve each day, and then list out what your tasks are your priorities so that you can achieve those goals.\\nFor example, if you need to provide a stakeholder report at the end of the day, then your first priority could be pulling together all the spreadsheets of data you have, then your next priority could be compiling relevant data into charts and graphs, and the last priority could be putting those charts and graphs into a slide presentation with some bullet points explaining the data.\\nFind a way to help you manage your time and priorities that works best for you. For some people, this can be as simple as manually writing out a list in a notebook, or for others, it can be helpful to use something like project management software to stay organized.\\n3-2. Monitor the web to see what the competition is doing.\\nIdentify your main competitors and monitor what they publish or do marketing-wise each day. Take note of whether they are doing anything new or whether there are any opportunities you can take to promote your business.\\nYou can use tools like Google Alerts, Hootsuite, Tweetdeck, and SocialMention to monitor your competition online and on social media so that you don’t miss any important updates or posts.\\n3-3. Read the news to stay current on your industry and new marketing trends.\\nIndustries and marketing are changing rapidly, so you need to make sure you don’t fall behind. Read any publications relevant to the industry you work in, as well as publications about the marketing industry, and apply any learnings to your marketing campaigns.\\nYou can use the same tools you use to monitor the competition online to set up alerts for certain keywords or hashtags so that you get the latest news online.\\nFor example, if there is a new social media channel that is gaining traction among the photography community, and you are selling cameras, then you want to start developing a marketing strategy for that network as soon as possible.\\n3-4. Look for insights in data and make data-driven decisions every day.\\nLook at the data across all of your marketing channels and analyze it to see where customer leads and sales are coming from. Use the data to optimize your campaigns or to change your overall strategies.\\nFor instance, if you see that 1 of your advertising channels is driving 80% of customer engagement, you might decide to allocate more budget there, and get rid of the other channel and replace it with another one to try something new.\\nIf you aren’t a numbers person, then find someone who is and work with them to analyze data. People who have backgrounds in statistics, are good with Excel, and know how to use different analytics tools are invaluable on your marketing team.\\n3-5. Be creative and experiment with different strategies and tactics.\\nExperiment with 1 new marketing strategy or tactic every day. Brainstorm with your team or alone to come up with new ideas to drive growth with your marketing campaigns.\\nEvery marketing strategy is unique to a certain product or service, situation, and audience. Try to tailor your marketing campaigns to your unique set of circumstances.\\nFor example, you can try adding new keywords to your pay-per-click advertising campaigns on Google and see if it increases or decreases the number of clicks you get.\\nIf you are only posting on your blog once a week, you could try posting twice a week or on a different day and see if it changes the amount of traffic you are getting.\\n3-6. Evaluate how you did at the end of each day and how you can improve.\\nMeasure whether you were able to increase leads, sales, or get new clients. Think about whether you were able to prioritize efficiently and what your accomplishments for that day were. Tweak your routines and priorities the next day to be even more productive if you see areas for improvement.\\nFor example, maybe you didn’t get all the reporting you needed to done one day. In that case, you can change around your list of priorities so that reporting is something you take care of first thing in the morning, then you can move on to strategic planning in the afternoon.\\n4. Using Effective Digital Marketing Tactics\\n4-1. Develop a content marketing strategy for the most relevant channels.\\nLook at how much traffic you are getting from each online content channel you have (like your blog, social media networks, and paid ads), then create a content schedule for publishing each type of content to each channel that focuses on the highest-traffic ones.\\nContent can come in the form of articles, social media posts, ads, and other digital marketing channels. Really, everything you do in marketing is content-based.\\nFor instance, if you have a blog that is driving a large amount of traffic to your company’s site, then focus on creating quality content there every day. If you are receiving a lot of traffic via Instagram, then you want to make sure to keep publishing quality, engaging content there.\\nJust because you see that you need to focus on 1 area doesn’t mean you should completely ignore others. A well-rounded content strategy is key to a good digital marketing campaign.\\n4-2. Use visual marketing in your content and advertising to drive user engagement.\\nThings like videos, GIFs, and infographics posted on your social media channels or blog are great for creating user engagement. People love to share these things, which will give your brand more exposure.\\nWork with a good photographer or graphic designer to develop great visual content for your digital marketing strategies.\\nContent with relevant images receives 94% more views than content without.\\n4-3. Be very specific with your paid social media targeting.\\nPaid advertising via big channels such as Instagram and Facebook allows you to target a very specific audience that is more likely to buy your product or service. Use your buyer personas to help you target your ideal customers based on demographics.\\nYou can target potential customers based on general things like age, location, and gender. Then, you can narrow it down even further based on things like what types of accounts they follow, what pages the like, or what posts they interact with.\\nFor example, if you are selling basketballs in Canada, you can target people between the ages of 16-35 who live in Canada and have liked posts from the Toronto Raptors’ Facebook page or Instagram account.\\n4-4. Segment your email marketing lists to target certain niches of customers.\\nThe most loyal and engaged customers often communicate by email. Segmenting email lists means separating them into different groups of people who meet different criteria to send different types of emails. This allows you to craft your emails to be more relevant to different groups of people.\\nFor example, if you have a project management software company, you can send a certain email advertising an extra feature to users who have been active on their accounts in the past week who would be more likely to buy the extra feature. You could send a different email out to users who have signed up but have not started using the software to remind them to get started.\\nYou can use split testing to test out different emails on a segment. Split testing refers to sending at least 2 different versions of an email to 2 different groups of a segment, and then seeing which one receives a higher open rate and more interactions to determine which email is best to send out to a larger audience of that segment.\\n4-5. Keep learning about digital marketing to stay up-to-date with the field.\\nGo to conferences, attend webinars, take courses, and network with other digital marketing professionals to keep developing your skills. Digital marketing is changing faster than any other area of marketing, so it is especially important to stay current.\\nDigital-specific things to stay aware of in marketing are algorithm changes in big search engines like Google, changes to social advertising, and the rise of new analytic technologies or digital marketing channels.\\nYou can always learn new digital skills. For instance, if you are more of an analytics person, you can focus on learning how to write digital ad copy and blog content. The more different things you can do, the better you will be as an overall marketer.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Marketing is a huge industry that is constantly growing and evolving. Whether you are just starting your career in marketing or you have been working in marketing for a while, there are always ways to improve. First and foremost, you need to develop some general personal skills that will help you as a marketer. Then, you need to know how to connect with your audience, create good daily habits, and use effective digital marketing strategies to sell your product or service.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing Your Personal Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop your verbal communication skills.\", \"描述\": \"Verbal communication is very important when selling products or services or communicating with clients or team members. Practice your communication skills by leading meetings, giving presentations, or practicing in front of a mirror.\\nBeing a confident verbal communicator will establish your credibility as a marketer and make you more persuasive.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice your writing skills by writing in many different styles.\", \"描述\": \"Write in as many different styles as you can to learn how to write in different tones and for different audiences. Try things like writing ad copy, landing pages, blog posts, and professional emails.\\nIf you feel that your writing skills are weak, then you can take a writing course to improve them.\\nThe more different audiences and channels you can write for, the more effectively you will be able to market products and services to a variety of demographics.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take courses to learn about different marketing technologies.\", \"描述\": \"There are free online courses about things like SEO, coding, and analytics software. Take some of these so you know at least a little bit about some of the different technologies that you will often be working with as a marketer.\\nIf you work at a big company, there will often be departments or individuals that take care of the more technical stuff. However, if you know at least a little bit about these kinds of things, it is easier to collaborate across teams or handle small tasks yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work on developing good time management skills.\", \"描述\": \"Create a personal system for staying organized to help you manage your time better. There are lots of time management blogs and other content online that can provide you with tips and tricks to make you more productive.\\nBeing able to manage your time effectively is essential to being able to create overall marketing strategies and complex marketing campaigns.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Volunteer to get marketing experience in different areas.\", \"描述\": \"Volunteering is a great way to gain invaluable marketing experience, especially if you are just starting out in the field. Find an organization that needs help with their marketing activities and volunteer to tackle the job.\\nFor example, maybe your local parks and recreation society needs a community manager to handle their social media. You could volunteer for the task to gain experience in social media marketing.\\nVolunteering doesn’t have to be something formal. For instance, maybe you have a friend who is an entrepreneur launching a product of some kind. You could volunteer to help them out with their paid Internet advertising to help sell the product and gain experience.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Connecting with Your Audience\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look at data on existing customers to understand your customer base.\", \"描述\": \"Check out all the data you have on people who have already purchased the product or service you are selling, such as information you have from online sales, or files you have on clients who bought your services. Identify common interests, demographics, and anything else they have in common to get to know your audience.\\nThis will help guide all of your marketing strategies to reach more of the ideal audience and sell more of the product or service you are marketing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use the customer data to create buyer personas.\", \"描述\": \"Look at things like age, profession, hobbies, interests, income, gender, and anything else you identified in the data about your customers to create a persona or personas of your ideal customers. Put together a single-page summary describing all of these traits for each buyer persona.\\nFor example, if you are selling hiking boots, your buyer persona might be something like: Male aged 25-50, lives in the Pacific Northwest, works in a high paying job in the tech industry, loves doing outdoorsy things on the weekends, spends his free time reading blogs about hiking and camping gear, and follows adventure and travel lifestyle accounts on Instagram.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be a storyteller to connect with customers on an emotional level.\", \"描述\": \"Good marketers must be good storytellers. All of your marketing campaigns, no matter what channel they are through, need to tell a story to the customer to get them to connect with your product or service.\\nFor example, if you are selling a backpack, you need to tell a story about that backpack that will make the customers want to buy it. Try to tell a story about the types of adventures owners of that backpack will have. For instance, perhaps they will be able to set off on rugged backcountry hiking adventures, or maybe they will go on an extended trip to Europe and see and experience all the different cultures and history there.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Creating Good Daily Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set goals and prioritize tasks for all your marketing projects each day.\", \"描述\": \"Marketers have the difficult job of managing multiple projects and tasks at any given time. This is why it’s important to set the goals you want to achieve each day, and then list out what your tasks are your priorities so that you can achieve those goals.\\nFor example, if you need to provide a stakeholder report at the end of the day, then your first priority could be pulling together all the spreadsheets of data you have, then your next priority could be compiling relevant data into charts and graphs, and the last priority could be putting those charts and graphs into a slide presentation with some bullet points explaining the data.\\nFind a way to help you manage your time and priorities that works best for you. For some people, this can be as simple as manually writing out a list in a notebook, or for others, it can be helpful to use something like project management software to stay organized.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Monitor the web to see what the competition is doing.\", \"描述\": \"Identify your main competitors and monitor what they publish or do marketing-wise each day. Take note of whether they are doing anything new or whether there are any opportunities you can take to promote your business.\\nYou can use tools like Google Alerts, Hootsuite, Tweetdeck, and SocialMention to monitor your competition online and on social media so that you don’t miss any important updates or posts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read the news to stay current on your industry and new marketing trends.\", \"描述\": \"Industries and marketing are changing rapidly, so you need to make sure you don’t fall behind. Read any publications relevant to the industry you work in, as well as publications about the marketing industry, and apply any learnings to your marketing campaigns.\\nYou can use the same tools you use to monitor the competition online to set up alerts for certain keywords or hashtags so that you get the latest news online.\\nFor example, if there is a new social media channel that is gaining traction among the photography community, and you are selling cameras, then you want to start developing a marketing strategy for that network as soon as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look for insights in data and make data-driven decisions every day.\", \"描述\": \"Look at the data across all of your marketing channels and analyze it to see where customer leads and sales are coming from. Use the data to optimize your campaigns or to change your overall strategies.\\nFor instance, if you see that 1 of your advertising channels is driving 80% of customer engagement, you might decide to allocate more budget there, and get rid of the other channel and replace it with another one to try something new.\\nIf you aren’t a numbers person, then find someone who is and work with them to analyze data. People who have backgrounds in statistics, are good with Excel, and know how to use different analytics tools are invaluable on your marketing team.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be creative and experiment with different strategies and tactics.\", \"描述\": \"Experiment with 1 new marketing strategy or tactic every day. Brainstorm with your team or alone to come up with new ideas to drive growth with your marketing campaigns.\\nEvery marketing strategy is unique to a certain product or service, situation, and audience. Try to tailor your marketing campaigns to your unique set of circumstances.\\nFor example, you can try adding new keywords to your pay-per-click advertising campaigns on Google and see if it increases or decreases the number of clicks you get.\\nIf you are only posting on your blog once a week, you could try posting twice a week or on a different day and see if it changes the amount of traffic you are getting.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Evaluate how you did at the end of each day and how you can improve.\", \"描述\": \"Measure whether you were able to increase leads, sales, or get new clients. Think about whether you were able to prioritize efficiently and what your accomplishments for that day were. Tweak your routines and priorities the next day to be even more productive if you see areas for improvement.\\nFor example, maybe you didn’t get all the reporting you needed to done one day. In that case, you can change around your list of priorities so that reporting is something you take care of first thing in the morning, then you can move on to strategic planning in the afternoon.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Using Effective Digital Marketing Tactics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop a content marketing strategy for the most relevant channels.\", \"描述\": \"Look at how much traffic you are getting from each online content channel you have (like your blog, social media networks, and paid ads), then create a content schedule for publishing each type of content to each channel that focuses on the highest-traffic ones.\\nContent can come in the form of articles, social media posts, ads, and other digital marketing channels. Really, everything you do in marketing is content-based.\\nFor instance, if you have a blog that is driving a large amount of traffic to your company’s site, then focus on creating quality content there every day. If you are receiving a lot of traffic via Instagram, then you want to make sure to keep publishing quality, engaging content there.\\nJust because you see that you need to focus on 1 area doesn’t mean you should completely ignore others. A well-rounded content strategy is key to a good digital marketing campaign.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use visual marketing in your content and advertising to drive user engagement.\", \"描述\": \"Things like videos, GIFs, and infographics posted on your social media channels or blog are great for creating user engagement. People love to share these things, which will give your brand more exposure.\\nWork with a good photographer or graphic designer to develop great visual content for your digital marketing strategies.\\nContent with relevant images receives 94% more views than content without.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be very specific with your paid social media targeting.\", \"描述\": \"Paid advertising via big channels such as Instagram and Facebook allows you to target a very specific audience that is more likely to buy your product or service. Use your buyer personas to help you target your ideal customers based on demographics.\\nYou can target potential customers based on general things like age, location, and gender. Then, you can narrow it down even further based on things like what types of accounts they follow, what pages the like, or what posts they interact with.\\nFor example, if you are selling basketballs in Canada, you can target people between the ages of 16-35 who live in Canada and have liked posts from the Toronto Raptors’ Facebook page or Instagram account.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Segment your email marketing lists to target certain niches of customers.\", \"描述\": \"The most loyal and engaged customers often communicate by email. Segmenting email lists means separating them into different groups of people who meet different criteria to send different types of emails. This allows you to craft your emails to be more relevant to different groups of people.\\nFor example, if you have a project management software company, you can send a certain email advertising an extra feature to users who have been active on their accounts in the past week who would be more likely to buy the extra feature. You could send a different email out to users who have signed up but have not started using the software to remind them to get started.\\nYou can use split testing to test out different emails on a segment. Split testing refers to sending at least 2 different versions of an email to 2 different groups of a segment, and then seeing which one receives a higher open rate and more interactions to determine which email is best to send out to a larger audience of that segment.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep learning about digital marketing to stay up-to-date with the field.\", \"描述\": \"Go to conferences, attend webinars, take courses, and network with other digital marketing professionals to keep developing your skills. Digital marketing is changing faster than any other area of marketing, so it is especially important to stay current.\\nDigital-specific things to stay aware of in marketing are algorithm changes in big search engines like Google, changes to social advertising, and the rise of new analytic technologies or digital marketing channels.\\nYou can always learn new digital skills. For instance, if you are more of an analytics person, you can focus on learning how to write digital ad copy and blog content. The more different things you can do, the better you will be as an overall marketer.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,479 |
How to Be a Good Master of Ceremonies
|
1. Dress a little nicer than you need to.
Ask an event organizer for the dress code, and then punch it up a bit.
If an event is casual, dress in slacks and a button-up or a smart dress. If an event is semi-formal, wear a nice jacket or more elegant gown. As the MC, you’re the most-seen person there, and it’s better to overdress than underdress.
Coordinate your outfit colors with the colors of the company of the organization in order to tie your presence more completely to the occasion.
If possible, find out what color the stage and set dressings are, and choose an outfit that complements rather than clashes with those colors. For example, a red dress will blend in too much with red curtains, but a black dress will help you stand out.
2. Keep your composure on and off stage.
Smile, take a deep breath, and center yourself to remain calm.
Being an MC is a lot of pressure—the event’s success is largely attributed to how well the MC keeps things on track. Thankfully, you’re the perfect person for the job. While the event’s proceedings can get hectic, it’s important to remain calm and focus on maintaining your MC persona. To keep your cool, try:
. Roll with the punches and continue on if you make a mistake. If you continue without acknowledging the slip-up, the audience will most likely forget your misstep.
. Looking at the individual audience members might make you more nervous while speaking. Instead, try looking over the heads of the audience members to reduce intimidating one on one eye contact.
. Talking too quickly can lead to mispronunciations and stuttering, which can affect people understanding you. Take your time, and pause slightly in between sentences, and take a deep breath away from the microphone if you need to.
3. Welcome the audience and thank them for coming.
Introduce yourself and welcome the attendees in your speech.
Identify the specific, principal groups of your audience (like special guests, organizers, and the audience themselves), and welcome them individually. These welcomes don’t need to be long-winded, but they do need to be authentic. Tell everyone you’re glad they came, and remind them of the purpose of the event.
For example, you might say something like, “To all of our Packer fan dairy farmers who traveled all the way from Wisconsin to celebrate this anniversary with us, a warm welcome.”
“I'm so pleased and humbled at the incredible turnout. It means so much to the company, and to the speakers today, that you all took time out of your day to hear what we have to say.”
4. Let your audience know who the speakers are.
Introduce the speakers with a brief biography and their achievements.
The MC has the key responsibility of introducing speakers that come up on stage, as well as other key people at the event. The more pertinent a guest is, the more detailed and tailored your introduction of them should be. Once you have made your introduction for a speaker, lead the audience in applauding the speaker until they reach the microphone, and again after the speaker has finished their speech.
To keep the event running on time, discreetly notify a speaker if they are past their assigned time. Give them a note or some kind of visual cue, such as spinning a finger pointing upward to try and communicate to “wrap it up.”
“Our next guest earned her doctorate in zoology from Columbia, where she made significant strides in advancing the study of primate behavior in the wild. Please join me in welcoming Jane Smith.”
5. Transition smoothly between speakers.
Use anecdotes and audience interaction to bridge segments.
Before the event, prepare some talking bits like remarks, anecdotes, or jokes that can be used in between segments. Try and find something funny or meaningful about the previous speaker or performance, and transition from there onto the next speaker or performance.
If you find yourself in an awkward spot, try asking your audience yes-or-no questions. This keeps your audience engaged and focused, while reinforcing your command as MC.
If the event is a few hours long, it’s helpful to occasionally give a short summary of the performances and presentations that have occurred during breaks in the action, and hint at or forecast what’s coming up next.
6. Roll with mistakes and adapt to the unexpected.
Avoid losing your cool or showing your temper if something goes wrong.
A great MC is ready for anything. Live events are notorious for having slight hiccups: a server might spill a drink, the wrong music might play, or the scheduled speaker might be on their way back from the bathroom. Keep control of the event by embracing these hiccups and cracking a joke or by simply being patient.
Remember that it’s not your job to reprimand someone, it’s your job to keep things running smoothly of something going wrong. An MC with a negative attitude can derail an event.
“I’m told our next guest is running a bit late, but will be here momentarily. In the meantime, let’s give a round of applause to the foundation, for organizing this conference…”
“Pardon my shouting, but the microphone is taking a little break! We’ll skip to the video presentation while we wait for it to get back to work.”
7. Bid your audience farewell.
Close with a summary of the proceedings followed by thank yous.
Your closing of the event should be as exciting and sincere as your opening. To close the event, the MC thanks all of the attendees, speakers, and performers. It’s good manners to also thank everyone who helped to put the event together. Summarize what took place at the event and what was learned, and bid your audience farewell.
In addition, encourage the audience members to take action by being present for the next gathering, donating money, or continuing to pioneer in a certain field. Whatever it may be, encourage the audience to participate.
“This evening we had the pleasure of hearing an impressive roster of experts speak on the work they’ve poured years of their lives into. I invite everyone here to support their work with a donation, or get involved yourself by volunteering.”
8. Study the event itinerary and who’s attending.
Familiarize yourself with the nature of the event.
Knowing your event is important for all types of ceremonies, whether it’s a wedding, graduation, bar mitzvah, celebrity roast, etc. The type of event will dictate the type of atmosphere you, the MC, need to create.
If possible, meet with the people organizing the event and go over the planned structure and itinerary of the event in detail.
Knowing what’s going on at any given moment, what should be talked about and what is coming next is key to being a successful MC.
9. Confirm your responsibilities with the organizers.
Talk to an organizer to clarify your duties as the host.
The MC is responsible for creating and sustaining the intended atmosphere throughout the event, but often has other responsibilities. As MC, your main responsibilities include:
Making sure the event stays on-schedule.
Keeping the audience engaged.
Introducing speakers and making them feel valued.
Transitioning between speakers and presentations.
Serving as a central figure and representative of the organization hosting the event.
10. Do your research on key event guests.
Acquire and study a guest list or roster from the event organizers.
Contact or research your key speakers to find out some background information on them. Use that information to prepare introductions for the speakers that are more personal and genuine.
Find out if there are any special audience members who should be recognized during the event.
Make sure you review everyone’s name and title so you know how to say it on stage when the time comes to make their announcement.
11. Write out a rough script and an approximate schedule.
Create an agenda for the event and review, minute by minute, the event schedule.
In addition, prepare some notes or a bulleted script for what you’ll say—you don’t need to plan every word, but it helps to have a structure or script to follow throughout the event.
Take into consideration the time it takes to get on and off the stage, make introductions for guests, and speeches or thank yous from guest members.
Create small notecards to keep yourself on task, or have an outline projected throughout the event for you to follow.
It may be helpful to tell the lead organizer of the event that, as MC, you’re only going to answer to one person in charge in the case of complications. This will reduce misunderstandings during the event.
12. Tailor your stage presence to the event.
Practice public speaking
Being an MC means that you have a great sense of humor, you can work a crowd, and you’re a practiced public speaker. Memorize the major points you’ll need to hit, and consider your posture and hand gestures, which keep the audience more engaged. Also consider the event’s audience, and what sort of presenter they’d like to see—adjust your tone to be more serious or more casual accordingly.
Remember to smile. Smiling reinforces the fun and lighthearted ambiance of the event, and makes you appear to be an enthusiastic MC.
Keep in mind that as the MC, you are not the center of the show. You’re there to make others feel like they’re the stars of the show.
Tips
Come prepared, but don't make it sound like you're reading from a script.
Your audience follows your lead, so stay enthusiastic and happy to be there.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dress a little nicer than you need to.\\nAsk an event organizer for the dress code, and then punch it up a bit.\\nIf an event is casual, dress in slacks and a button-up or a smart dress. If an event is semi-formal, wear a nice jacket or more elegant gown. As the MC, you’re the most-seen person there, and it’s better to overdress than underdress.\\nCoordinate your outfit colors with the colors of the company of the organization in order to tie your presence more completely to the occasion.\\nIf possible, find out what color the stage and set dressings are, and choose an outfit that complements rather than clashes with those colors. For example, a red dress will blend in too much with red curtains, but a black dress will help you stand out.\\n2. Keep your composure on and off stage.\\nSmile, take a deep breath, and center yourself to remain calm.\\nBeing an MC is a lot of pressure—the event’s success is largely attributed to how well the MC keeps things on track. Thankfully, you’re the perfect person for the job. While the event’s proceedings can get hectic, it’s important to remain calm and focus on maintaining your MC persona. To keep your cool, try:\\n\\n. Roll with the punches and continue on if you make a mistake. If you continue without acknowledging the slip-up, the audience will most likely forget your misstep.\\n. Looking at the individual audience members might make you more nervous while speaking. Instead, try looking over the heads of the audience members to reduce intimidating one on one eye contact.\\n. Talking too quickly can lead to mispronunciations and stuttering, which can affect people understanding you. Take your time, and pause slightly in between sentences, and take a deep breath away from the microphone if you need to.\\n3. Welcome the audience and thank them for coming.\\nIntroduce yourself and welcome the attendees in your speech.\\nIdentify the specific, principal groups of your audience (like special guests, organizers, and the audience themselves), and welcome them individually. These welcomes don’t need to be long-winded, but they do need to be authentic. Tell everyone you’re glad they came, and remind them of the purpose of the event.\\nFor example, you might say something like, “To all of our Packer fan dairy farmers who traveled all the way from Wisconsin to celebrate this anniversary with us, a warm welcome.”\\n“I'm so pleased and humbled at the incredible turnout. It means so much to the company, and to the speakers today, that you all took time out of your day to hear what we have to say.”\\n4. Let your audience know who the speakers are.\\nIntroduce the speakers with a brief biography and their achievements.\\nThe MC has the key responsibility of introducing speakers that come up on stage, as well as other key people at the event. The more pertinent a guest is, the more detailed and tailored your introduction of them should be. Once you have made your introduction for a speaker, lead the audience in applauding the speaker until they reach the microphone, and again after the speaker has finished their speech.\\nTo keep the event running on time, discreetly notify a speaker if they are past their assigned time. Give them a note or some kind of visual cue, such as spinning a finger pointing upward to try and communicate to “wrap it up.”\\n“Our next guest earned her doctorate in zoology from Columbia, where she made significant strides in advancing the study of primate behavior in the wild. Please join me in welcoming Jane Smith.”\\n5. Transition smoothly between speakers.\\nUse anecdotes and audience interaction to bridge segments.\\nBefore the event, prepare some talking bits like remarks, anecdotes, or jokes that can be used in between segments. Try and find something funny or meaningful about the previous speaker or performance, and transition from there onto the next speaker or performance.\\nIf you find yourself in an awkward spot, try asking your audience yes-or-no questions. This keeps your audience engaged and focused, while reinforcing your command as MC.\\nIf the event is a few hours long, it’s helpful to occasionally give a short summary of the performances and presentations that have occurred during breaks in the action, and hint at or forecast what’s coming up next.\\n6. Roll with mistakes and adapt to the unexpected.\\nAvoid losing your cool or showing your temper if something goes wrong.\\nA great MC is ready for anything. Live events are notorious for having slight hiccups: a server might spill a drink, the wrong music might play, or the scheduled speaker might be on their way back from the bathroom. Keep control of the event by embracing these hiccups and cracking a joke or by simply being patient.\\nRemember that it’s not your job to reprimand someone, it’s your job to keep things running smoothly of something going wrong. An MC with a negative attitude can derail an event.\\n“I’m told our next guest is running a bit late, but will be here momentarily. In the meantime, let’s give a round of applause to the foundation, for organizing this conference…”\\n“Pardon my shouting, but the microphone is taking a little break! We’ll skip to the video presentation while we wait for it to get back to work.”\\n7. Bid your audience farewell.\\nClose with a summary of the proceedings followed by thank yous.\\nYour closing of the event should be as exciting and sincere as your opening. To close the event, the MC thanks all of the attendees, speakers, and performers. It’s good manners to also thank everyone who helped to put the event together. Summarize what took place at the event and what was learned, and bid your audience farewell.\\nIn addition, encourage the audience members to take action by being present for the next gathering, donating money, or continuing to pioneer in a certain field. Whatever it may be, encourage the audience to participate.\\n“This evening we had the pleasure of hearing an impressive roster of experts speak on the work they’ve poured years of their lives into. I invite everyone here to support their work with a donation, or get involved yourself by volunteering.”\\n8. Study the event itinerary and who’s attending.\\nFamiliarize yourself with the nature of the event.\\nKnowing your event is important for all types of ceremonies, whether it’s a wedding, graduation, bar mitzvah, celebrity roast, etc. The type of event will dictate the type of atmosphere you, the MC, need to create.\\nIf possible, meet with the people organizing the event and go over the planned structure and itinerary of the event in detail.\\nKnowing what’s going on at any given moment, what should be talked about and what is coming next is key to being a successful MC.\\n9. Confirm your responsibilities with the organizers.\\nTalk to an organizer to clarify your duties as the host.\\nThe MC is responsible for creating and sustaining the intended atmosphere throughout the event, but often has other responsibilities. As MC, your main responsibilities include:\\nMaking sure the event stays on-schedule.\\nKeeping the audience engaged.\\nIntroducing speakers and making them feel valued.\\nTransitioning between speakers and presentations.\\nServing as a central figure and representative of the organization hosting the event.\\n10. Do your research on key event guests.\\nAcquire and study a guest list or roster from the event organizers.\\nContact or research your key speakers to find out some background information on them. Use that information to prepare introductions for the speakers that are more personal and genuine.\\nFind out if there are any special audience members who should be recognized during the event.\\nMake sure you review everyone’s name and title so you know how to say it on stage when the time comes to make their announcement.\\n11. Write out a rough script and an approximate schedule.\\nCreate an agenda for the event and review, minute by minute, the event schedule.\\nIn addition, prepare some notes or a bulleted script for what you’ll say—you don’t need to plan every word, but it helps to have a structure or script to follow throughout the event.\\nTake into consideration the time it takes to get on and off the stage, make introductions for guests, and speeches or thank yous from guest members.\\nCreate small notecards to keep yourself on task, or have an outline projected throughout the event for you to follow.\\nIt may be helpful to tell the lead organizer of the event that, as MC, you’re only going to answer to one person in charge in the case of complications. This will reduce misunderstandings during the event.\\n12. Tailor your stage presence to the event.\\n Practice public speaking\\nBeing an MC means that you have a great sense of humor, you can work a crowd, and you’re a practiced public speaker. Memorize the major points you’ll need to hit, and consider your posture and hand gestures, which keep the audience more engaged. Also consider the event’s audience, and what sort of presenter they’d like to see—adjust your tone to be more serious or more casual accordingly.\\nRemember to smile. Smiling reinforces the fun and lighthearted ambiance of the event, and makes you appear to be an enthusiastic MC.\\nKeep in mind that as the MC, you are not the center of the show. You’re there to make others feel like they’re the stars of the show.\\nTips\\nCome prepared, but don't make it sound like you're reading from a script.\\nYour audience follows your lead, so stay enthusiastic and happy to be there.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A master of ceremonies (also known as an MC or emcee) is the official host for a staged event, performance, or party. Normally, a good master of ceremonies introduces speakers, makes announcements, and engages with the audience to keep the ceremony agenda flowing as smoothly as possible. While being a master of ceremonies might seem like a daunting task, there are a few ways you can nail your responsibility as MC, and radiate confidence and charisma to keep the ceremony entertaining for all. We’ll show you how to both prepare for and execute your role as the perfect MC.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress a little nicer than you need to.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask an event organizer for the dress code, and then punch it up a bit.\", \"描述\": \"If an event is casual, dress in slacks and a button-up or a smart dress. If an event is semi-formal, wear a nice jacket or more elegant gown. As the MC, you’re the most-seen person there, and it’s better to overdress than underdress.\\nCoordinate your outfit colors with the colors of the company of the organization in order to tie your presence more completely to the occasion.\\nIf possible, find out what color the stage and set dressings are, and choose an outfit that complements rather than clashes with those colors. For example, a red dress will blend in too much with red curtains, but a black dress will help you stand out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your composure on and off stage.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile, take a deep breath, and center yourself to remain calm.\", \"描述\": \"Being an MC is a lot of pressure—the event’s success is largely attributed to how well the MC keeps things on track. Thankfully, you’re the perfect person for the job. While the event’s proceedings can get hectic, it’s important to remain calm and focus on maintaining your MC persona. To keep your cool, try:\\n\\n. Roll with the punches and continue on if you make a mistake. If you continue without acknowledging the slip-up, the audience will most likely forget your misstep.\\n. Looking at the individual audience members might make you more nervous while speaking. Instead, try looking over the heads of the audience members to reduce intimidating one on one eye contact.\\n. Talking too quickly can lead to mispronunciations and stuttering, which can affect people understanding you. Take your time, and pause slightly in between sentences, and take a deep breath away from the microphone if you need to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Welcome the audience and thank them for coming.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself and welcome the attendees in your speech.\", \"描述\": \"Identify the specific, principal groups of your audience (like special guests, organizers, and the audience themselves), and welcome them individually. These welcomes don’t need to be long-winded, but they do need to be authentic. Tell everyone you’re glad they came, and remind them of the purpose of the event.\\nFor example, you might say something like, “To all of our Packer fan dairy farmers who traveled all the way from Wisconsin to celebrate this anniversary with us, a warm welcome.”\\n“I'm so pleased and humbled at the incredible turnout. It means so much to the company, and to the speakers today, that you all took time out of your day to hear what we have to say.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let your audience know who the speakers are.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Introduce the speakers with a brief biography and their achievements.\", \"描述\": \"The MC has the key responsibility of introducing speakers that come up on stage, as well as other key people at the event. The more pertinent a guest is, the more detailed and tailored your introduction of them should be. Once you have made your introduction for a speaker, lead the audience in applauding the speaker until they reach the microphone, and again after the speaker has finished their speech.\\nTo keep the event running on time, discreetly notify a speaker if they are past their assigned time. Give them a note or some kind of visual cue, such as spinning a finger pointing upward to try and communicate to “wrap it up.”\\n“Our next guest earned her doctorate in zoology from Columbia, where she made significant strides in advancing the study of primate behavior in the wild. Please join me in welcoming Jane Smith.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Transition smoothly between speakers.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use anecdotes and audience interaction to bridge segments.\", \"描述\": \"Before the event, prepare some talking bits like remarks, anecdotes, or jokes that can be used in between segments. Try and find something funny or meaningful about the previous speaker or performance, and transition from there onto the next speaker or performance.\\nIf you find yourself in an awkward spot, try asking your audience yes-or-no questions. This keeps your audience engaged and focused, while reinforcing your command as MC.\\nIf the event is a few hours long, it’s helpful to occasionally give a short summary of the performances and presentations that have occurred during breaks in the action, and hint at or forecast what’s coming up next.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Roll with mistakes and adapt to the unexpected.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid losing your cool or showing your temper if something goes wrong.\", \"描述\": \"A great MC is ready for anything. Live events are notorious for having slight hiccups: a server might spill a drink, the wrong music might play, or the scheduled speaker might be on their way back from the bathroom. Keep control of the event by embracing these hiccups and cracking a joke or by simply being patient.\\nRemember that it’s not your job to reprimand someone, it’s your job to keep things running smoothly of something going wrong. An MC with a negative attitude can derail an event.\\n“I’m told our next guest is running a bit late, but will be here momentarily. In the meantime, let’s give a round of applause to the foundation, for organizing this conference…”\\n“Pardon my shouting, but the microphone is taking a little break! We’ll skip to the video presentation while we wait for it to get back to work.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Bid your audience farewell.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Close with a summary of the proceedings followed by thank yous.\", \"描述\": \"Your closing of the event should be as exciting and sincere as your opening. To close the event, the MC thanks all of the attendees, speakers, and performers. It’s good manners to also thank everyone who helped to put the event together. Summarize what took place at the event and what was learned, and bid your audience farewell.\\nIn addition, encourage the audience members to take action by being present for the next gathering, donating money, or continuing to pioneer in a certain field. Whatever it may be, encourage the audience to participate.\\n“This evening we had the pleasure of hearing an impressive roster of experts speak on the work they’ve poured years of their lives into. I invite everyone here to support their work with a donation, or get involved yourself by volunteering.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Study the event itinerary and who’s attending.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Familiarize yourself with the nature of the event.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing your event is important for all types of ceremonies, whether it’s a wedding, graduation, bar mitzvah, celebrity roast, etc. The type of event will dictate the type of atmosphere you, the MC, need to create.\\nIf possible, meet with the people organizing the event and go over the planned structure and itinerary of the event in detail.\\nKnowing what’s going on at any given moment, what should be talked about and what is coming next is key to being a successful MC.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Confirm your responsibilities with the organizers.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to an organizer to clarify your duties as the host.\", \"描述\": \"The MC is responsible for creating and sustaining the intended atmosphere throughout the event, but often has other responsibilities. As MC, your main responsibilities include:\\nMaking sure the event stays on-schedule.\\nKeeping the audience engaged.\\nIntroducing speakers and making them feel valued.\\nTransitioning between speakers and presentations.\\nServing as a central figure and representative of the organization hosting the event.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Do your research on key event guests.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acquire and study a guest list or roster from the event organizers.\", \"描述\": \"Contact or research your key speakers to find out some background information on them. Use that information to prepare introductions for the speakers that are more personal and genuine.\\nFind out if there are any special audience members who should be recognized during the event.\\nMake sure you review everyone’s name and title so you know how to say it on stage when the time comes to make their announcement.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Write out a rough script and an approximate schedule.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create an agenda for the event and review, minute by minute, the event schedule.\", \"描述\": \"In addition, prepare some notes or a bulleted script for what you’ll say—you don’t need to plan every word, but it helps to have a structure or script to follow throughout the event.\\nTake into consideration the time it takes to get on and off the stage, make introductions for guests, and speeches or thank yous from guest members.\\nCreate small notecards to keep yourself on task, or have an outline projected throughout the event for you to follow.\\nIt may be helpful to tell the lead organizer of the event that, as MC, you’re only going to answer to one person in charge in the case of complications. This will reduce misunderstandings during the event.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Tailor your stage presence to the event.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice public speaking\", \"描述\": \"Being an MC means that you have a great sense of humor, you can work a crowd, and you’re a practiced public speaker. Memorize the major points you’ll need to hit, and consider your posture and hand gestures, which keep the audience more engaged. Also consider the event’s audience, and what sort of presenter they’d like to see—adjust your tone to be more serious or more casual accordingly.\\nRemember to smile. Smiling reinforces the fun and lighthearted ambiance of the event, and makes you appear to be an enthusiastic MC.\\nKeep in mind that as the MC, you are not the center of the show. You’re there to make others feel like they’re the stars of the show.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Come prepared, but don't make it sound like you're reading from a script.\\n\", \"Your audience follows your lead, so stay enthusiastic and happy to be there.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,480 |
How to Be a Good Mathematician
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1. Studying Mathematics
1-1. Develop your interest in high school.
Maybe you have always been fascinated by numbers and how formulas explain the world in which we live. If you think mathematics might be something you want to pursue further, focus on your math courses in high school.
Ask your teachers for extracurricular activities you can participate in to hone your math skills, such as quiz bowl or mathletes.
Try to solve this classical problem: A Pythagorean triple is three whole numbers a,b,c with a + b = c, such as 3,4,5 with 3 = 9, 4 = 16, 5 = 25, and 9 + 16 = 25. Find other examples; find a formula to generate more and more of them; finally find all possible such a,b,c. Make the problem not something you learn about, but something you understand for yourself (along with friends).
Compete in mathematics competitions such as the International Mathematical Olympiad.
1-2. Be persistent.
Math is not a subject that you can just sit down and memorize. Many of the concepts take time to fully understand. Do not be discouraged if you don’t comprehend right away. If you are easily discouraged by complex problems, mathematics may not be the right field for you.
When learning math, don’t just memorize formulas. Think about the problem itself and try to figure out a way to solve it.
1-3. Seek out a small study group or private tutor.
There are some very easy concepts in math and there are some very difficult ones. While self-study and online tutorials are helpful, you cannot become a mathematician all on your own. Find a like-minded group of peers that you can study with or study one-on-one with a professional math tutor.
If you are still in high school, ask one of your teachers if they know of any groups that you can join.
If you are at the college level, find a math club or society to join.
1-4. Do math.
This step may seem obvious, but it is one thing to study math and quite another to actually do math. Explore mathematical problems and concepts that go above and beyond what you may have learned in school.
Do problems from your textbook and find more problems online to master difficult concepts.
1-5. Read mathematical journals and books.
While it is important to stay current on what is happening today, it is equally as important to read about the history of mathematics and how it developed. Study the original papers and proofs that were developed hundreds of years ago to obtain a solid foundation in the subject.
Many mathematical proofs and concepts have evolved and been simplified over time. Reading the original paper will help you understand how it has been streamlined to the form in which it exists today.
1-6. Be passionate about math.
In order to stay properly motivated, you must have a passion for what you are doing. If you are not motivated by the idea of discovery or working through a problem, you will be easily discouraged in your studies. Don’t try to force your passion. If it’s not something you truly love, it is not likely to magically become something you love.
On the flip side, you may be passionate, but lack inherent skill. Math may not come easily to you, but if you love it and are willing to put in the necessary time and effort, you can become a good mathematician.
1-7. Collaborate with your peers.
Gaining a fundamental understanding of mathematics mostly happens with intense and consistent studying on your own; however, asking questions and conversing with your peers can lead to personal insights or a new perspective on an old problem. Make time to stop for conversation and discuss difficult problems with fellow mathematicians.
1-8. Take a walk.
When you have encountered a particularly difficult concept, oftentimes, it is best to put it to the back your mind for a bit. Let your brain chew on the problem without pencil and paper and see if you can come up with an interesting solution.
Even if you don’t come up with a groundbreaking new theory, taking some time out of your day to enjoy nature is a productive use of your time.
2. Thinking Like a Mathematician
2-1. Question everything.
When looking at something that is said to be true, see if you can prove it. If someone tells you something is true, ask them to prove it to you. Trying to prove something to yourself will help you exercise your math brain and start thinking about all math problems in this way.
2-2. Study logic.
Logic is the foundation of a mathematical argument and necessary to developing a proper proof. There are self-study guides online or textbooks you can purchase to study logic. You can also sign up to take a logic course at the local college.
Spend time working through logic problems and cultivating that type of thought process.
Logic will help you write proofs in an ordered way that people won’t be able to find error with.
2-3. Write in sentences.
Although it may seem strange to use sentences to explain equations and numbers, a proper mathematical proof is written out in a grammatically correct sentence. If you can’t write your argument in a sentence, you may not fully understand what you are trying to say and need to think about it more.
When writing a proof, always write in full sentences.
Study old proofs to get an idea of the proper format to use.
2-4. Rewrite statements with the contrapositive.
The contrapositive of a statement “If A, then B” is “If not B, then not A”. As an example, the contrapositive of the statement “If I’m from New York, I am American” is “If I am not American, I am not from New York”. The contrapositive is always true which can sometimes be difficult to wrap your head around.
Always rewrite statements with the contrapositive to exercise that thought process.
2-5. Ask yourself about the converse of a statement.
The converse of a statement such as “If A, then B” is “If B, then A”. The converse is not necessarily a true statement. When studying a problem, always ask yourself if the converse is true and then try to prove it. Even if it’s not true, it’s a good exercise to keep in mind when thinking about problems.
3. Pursuing a Higher Education Degree
3-1. Obtain a bachelor’s in mathematics.
It’s necessary to have at least a bachelor’s degree to start a career in mathematics. A master’s degree is recommended, but a bachelor’s is where to start. Choose a university that has a well-known reputation for their mathematics program:
Harvard University
University of Cambridge
University of Oxford
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
University of Chicago
3-2. Choose between applied and theoretical mathematics.
When pursuing an advanced degree in mathematics, it is necessary to make a preliminary choice between studying applied and theoretical mathematics. While there is overlap between the two, advanced research will usually focus on one or the other.
Applied mathematics uses established theories to solve problems in the real-world with mathematical modeling.
Theoretical mathematics push the boundaries of what we know and come up with new concepts to explain scientific and engineering questions.
3-3. Complete a master’s degree and/or doctorate.
Advanced degrees are often considered to be necessary to be a mathematician. While you can start your career with a bachelor’s, pursuing a master’s or doctorate will increase the job opportunities open to you. When choosing a university, again consider the reputation of the program and the professors who teach there.
Persistence is important when pursuing a doctorate. The first year or two can be very difficult because all of that you must learn to develop a research project.
3-4. Learn computer modeling software.
Many aspects of mathematics require proficiency in computer programs such as R, SAS, and MATLAB. These programs are not intuitive so taking a course or getting private tutoring is recommended.
There are many online tutorials that are useful for learning these programs, as well.
4. Finding a Job
4-1. Explore potential careers.
Options for a career in mathematics vary widely. There are many careers available both in industry and in academia. Jobs in industry generally involve mathematical modeling for scientific/biomedical research, economics, encryption, business analytics, actuary analytics, and more. Careers in academia can involve teaching at any level and advanced research similar to that done during a doctorate.
While pursuing advanced degrees, speak with alumni from your program and your professors to find what is a good fit for you.
4-2. Apply for internships.
Internships are a great way to test out a career and gain some necessary experience. You can apply for internships at any stage of your career or education. Many universities have programs that will help place you into an internship that aligns with your career goals. Math societies also promote internship opportunities. Relevant internship opportunities might include:
A research position with a professor
Mathematical modeling with a biomedical or pharmaceutical company
Statistics and analytics in economics
Deciphering encryptions for military or law enforcement
4-3. Attend mathematics conferences.
There are hundreds of mathematical societies that put on conferences every year. Some of them are more general mathematics, but there are many that are more concentrated on specific branches such as geometry or calculus. Conferences are a great venue to learn about the current research and network with peers in your field. Regular conferences are hosted by societies such as:
American Mathematical Society
European Mathematical Society
Society for Industrial and Applied Mathematics
4-4. Publish in mathematical journals.
A strong publication record is a great way to boost your resume and get noticed when applying for jobs. Journals articles show that not only have you produced research that has advanced the field, but that you know how to communicate that research to the public.
4-5. Network with other mathematicians.
The best way to find a job is to meet people within the field. The more people you know, the more job opportunities you will hear about. These individuals might also be able to put in a good word for you when you are applying for the job to make your resume stand out from the crowd.
Conferences are a great place to meet new people in your field of study.
Being part of mathematical societies is also a great way to expand your network.
Join the alumni board of your university after you graduate to get in touch with older students.
If speakers come to give talks at your university, ask them to lunch or out to coffee.
Tips
Do lots of writing practice. Remember, writing once is equal to reading thrice.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Studying Mathematics\\n1-1. Develop your interest in high school.\\nMaybe you have always been fascinated by numbers and how formulas explain the world in which we live. If you think mathematics might be something you want to pursue further, focus on your math courses in high school.\\nAsk your teachers for extracurricular activities you can participate in to hone your math skills, such as quiz bowl or mathletes.\\nTry to solve this classical problem: A Pythagorean triple is three whole numbers a,b,c with a + b = c, such as 3,4,5 with 3 = 9, 4 = 16, 5 = 25, and 9 + 16 = 25. Find other examples; find a formula to generate more and more of them; finally find all possible such a,b,c. Make the problem not something you learn about, but something you understand for yourself (along with friends).\\nCompete in mathematics competitions such as the International Mathematical Olympiad.\\n1-2. Be persistent.\\nMath is not a subject that you can just sit down and memorize. Many of the concepts take time to fully understand. Do not be discouraged if you don’t comprehend right away. If you are easily discouraged by complex problems, mathematics may not be the right field for you.\\nWhen learning math, don’t just memorize formulas. Think about the problem itself and try to figure out a way to solve it.\\n1-3. Seek out a small study group or private tutor.\\nThere are some very easy concepts in math and there are some very difficult ones. While self-study and online tutorials are helpful, you cannot become a mathematician all on your own. Find a like-minded group of peers that you can study with or study one-on-one with a professional math tutor.\\nIf you are still in high school, ask one of your teachers if they know of any groups that you can join.\\nIf you are at the college level, find a math club or society to join.\\n1-4. Do math.\\nThis step may seem obvious, but it is one thing to study math and quite another to actually do math. Explore mathematical problems and concepts that go above and beyond what you may have learned in school.\\nDo problems from your textbook and find more problems online to master difficult concepts.\\n1-5. Read mathematical journals and books.\\nWhile it is important to stay current on what is happening today, it is equally as important to read about the history of mathematics and how it developed. Study the original papers and proofs that were developed hundreds of years ago to obtain a solid foundation in the subject.\\nMany mathematical proofs and concepts have evolved and been simplified over time. Reading the original paper will help you understand how it has been streamlined to the form in which it exists today.\\n1-6. Be passionate about math.\\nIn order to stay properly motivated, you must have a passion for what you are doing. If you are not motivated by the idea of discovery or working through a problem, you will be easily discouraged in your studies. Don’t try to force your passion. If it’s not something you truly love, it is not likely to magically become something you love.\\nOn the flip side, you may be passionate, but lack inherent skill. Math may not come easily to you, but if you love it and are willing to put in the necessary time and effort, you can become a good mathematician.\\n1-7. Collaborate with your peers.\\nGaining a fundamental understanding of mathematics mostly happens with intense and consistent studying on your own; however, asking questions and conversing with your peers can lead to personal insights or a new perspective on an old problem. Make time to stop for conversation and discuss difficult problems with fellow mathematicians.\\n1-8. Take a walk.\\nWhen you have encountered a particularly difficult concept, oftentimes, it is best to put it to the back your mind for a bit. Let your brain chew on the problem without pencil and paper and see if you can come up with an interesting solution.\\nEven if you don’t come up with a groundbreaking new theory, taking some time out of your day to enjoy nature is a productive use of your time.\\n2. Thinking Like a Mathematician\\n2-1. Question everything.\\nWhen looking at something that is said to be true, see if you can prove it. If someone tells you something is true, ask them to prove it to you. Trying to prove something to yourself will help you exercise your math brain and start thinking about all math problems in this way.\\n2-2. Study logic.\\nLogic is the foundation of a mathematical argument and necessary to developing a proper proof. There are self-study guides online or textbooks you can purchase to study logic. You can also sign up to take a logic course at the local college.\\nSpend time working through logic problems and cultivating that type of thought process.\\nLogic will help you write proofs in an ordered way that people won’t be able to find error with.\\n2-3. Write in sentences.\\nAlthough it may seem strange to use sentences to explain equations and numbers, a proper mathematical proof is written out in a grammatically correct sentence. If you can’t write your argument in a sentence, you may not fully understand what you are trying to say and need to think about it more.\\nWhen writing a proof, always write in full sentences.\\nStudy old proofs to get an idea of the proper format to use.\\n2-4. Rewrite statements with the contrapositive.\\nThe contrapositive of a statement “If A, then B” is “If not B, then not A”. As an example, the contrapositive of the statement “If I’m from New York, I am American” is “If I am not American, I am not from New York”. The contrapositive is always true which can sometimes be difficult to wrap your head around.\\nAlways rewrite statements with the contrapositive to exercise that thought process.\\n2-5. Ask yourself about the converse of a statement.\\nThe converse of a statement such as “If A, then B” is “If B, then A”. The converse is not necessarily a true statement. When studying a problem, always ask yourself if the converse is true and then try to prove it. Even if it’s not true, it’s a good exercise to keep in mind when thinking about problems.\\n3. Pursuing a Higher Education Degree\\n3-1. Obtain a bachelor’s in mathematics.\\nIt’s necessary to have at least a bachelor’s degree to start a career in mathematics. A master’s degree is recommended, but a bachelor’s is where to start. Choose a university that has a well-known reputation for their mathematics program: \\nHarvard University\\nUniversity of Cambridge\\nUniversity of Oxford\\nMassachusetts Institute of Technology\\nUniversity of Chicago\\n3-2. Choose between applied and theoretical mathematics.\\nWhen pursuing an advanced degree in mathematics, it is necessary to make a preliminary choice between studying applied and theoretical mathematics. While there is overlap between the two, advanced research will usually focus on one or the other.\\nApplied mathematics uses established theories to solve problems in the real-world with mathematical modeling.\\nTheoretical mathematics push the boundaries of what we know and come up with new concepts to explain scientific and engineering questions.\\n3-3. Complete a master’s degree and/or doctorate.\\nAdvanced degrees are often considered to be necessary to be a mathematician. While you can start your career with a bachelor’s, pursuing a master’s or doctorate will increase the job opportunities open to you. When choosing a university, again consider the reputation of the program and the professors who teach there.\\nPersistence is important when pursuing a doctorate. The first year or two can be very difficult because all of that you must learn to develop a research project.\\n3-4. Learn computer modeling software.\\nMany aspects of mathematics require proficiency in computer programs such as R, SAS, and MATLAB. These programs are not intuitive so taking a course or getting private tutoring is recommended.\\nThere are many online tutorials that are useful for learning these programs, as well.\\n4. Finding a Job\\n4-1. Explore potential careers.\\nOptions for a career in mathematics vary widely. There are many careers available both in industry and in academia. Jobs in industry generally involve mathematical modeling for scientific/biomedical research, economics, encryption, business analytics, actuary analytics, and more. Careers in academia can involve teaching at any level and advanced research similar to that done during a doctorate.\\nWhile pursuing advanced degrees, speak with alumni from your program and your professors to find what is a good fit for you.\\n4-2. Apply for internships.\\nInternships are a great way to test out a career and gain some necessary experience. You can apply for internships at any stage of your career or education. Many universities have programs that will help place you into an internship that aligns with your career goals. Math societies also promote internship opportunities. Relevant internship opportunities might include:\\nA research position with a professor\\nMathematical modeling with a biomedical or pharmaceutical company\\nStatistics and analytics in economics\\nDeciphering encryptions for military or law enforcement\\n4-3. Attend mathematics conferences.\\nThere are hundreds of mathematical societies that put on conferences every year. Some of them are more general mathematics, but there are many that are more concentrated on specific branches such as geometry or calculus. Conferences are a great venue to learn about the current research and network with peers in your field. Regular conferences are hosted by societies such as:\\nAmerican Mathematical Society\\nEuropean Mathematical Society\\nSociety for Industrial and Applied Mathematics\\n4-4. Publish in mathematical journals.\\nA strong publication record is a great way to boost your resume and get noticed when applying for jobs. Journals articles show that not only have you produced research that has advanced the field, but that you know how to communicate that research to the public.\\n4-5. Network with other mathematicians.\\nThe best way to find a job is to meet people within the field. The more people you know, the more job opportunities you will hear about. These individuals might also be able to put in a good word for you when you are applying for the job to make your resume stand out from the crowd.\\nConferences are a great place to meet new people in your field of study.\\nBeing part of mathematical societies is also a great way to expand your network.\\nJoin the alumni board of your university after you graduate to get in touch with older students.\\nIf speakers come to give talks at your university, ask them to lunch or out to coffee.\\nTips\\nDo lots of writing practice. Remember, writing once is equal to reading thrice.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A mathematician is an expert in the field of mathematics, which involves both deciphering theoretical abstract concepts and applying these theories to solve problems in engineering, economics, business, and other technical disciplines. What distinguishes a mathematician from other scientists and technical professionals is the passion for theoretical understanding, independent of how the theories apply to the real world: an engineer really wants to build a radio, a physicist really wants to understand what radio waves are, but a mathematician really wants to understand what a wave could be, how to define waves in general and work out their possible behavior. If you have a natural craving to understand shapes and numbers, and have the persistence to unravel hard problems every day, a mathematical career might be right for you.pursuing\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Studying Mathematics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop your interest in high school.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you have always been fascinated by numbers and how formulas explain the world in which we live. If you think mathematics might be something you want to pursue further, focus on your math courses in high school.\\nAsk your teachers for extracurricular activities you can participate in to hone your math skills, such as quiz bowl or mathletes.\\nTry to solve this classical problem: A Pythagorean triple is three whole numbers a,b,c with a + b = c, such as 3,4,5 with 3 = 9, 4 = 16, 5 = 25, and 9 + 16 = 25. Find other examples; find a formula to generate more and more of them; finally find all possible such a,b,c. Make the problem not something you learn about, but something you understand for yourself (along with friends).\\nCompete in mathematics competitions such as the International Mathematical Olympiad.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be persistent.\", \"描述\": \"Math is not a subject that you can just sit down and memorize. Many of the concepts take time to fully understand. Do not be discouraged if you don’t comprehend right away. If you are easily discouraged by complex problems, mathematics may not be the right field for you.\\nWhen learning math, don’t just memorize formulas. Think about the problem itself and try to figure out a way to solve it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Seek out a small study group or private tutor.\", \"描述\": \"There are some very easy concepts in math and there are some very difficult ones. While self-study and online tutorials are helpful, you cannot become a mathematician all on your own. Find a like-minded group of peers that you can study with or study one-on-one with a professional math tutor.\\nIf you are still in high school, ask one of your teachers if they know of any groups that you can join.\\nIf you are at the college level, find a math club or society to join.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do math.\", \"描述\": \"This step may seem obvious, but it is one thing to study math and quite another to actually do math. Explore mathematical problems and concepts that go above and beyond what you may have learned in school.\\nDo problems from your textbook and find more problems online to master difficult concepts.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Read mathematical journals and books.\", \"描述\": \"While it is important to stay current on what is happening today, it is equally as important to read about the history of mathematics and how it developed. Study the original papers and proofs that were developed hundreds of years ago to obtain a solid foundation in the subject.\\nMany mathematical proofs and concepts have evolved and been simplified over time. Reading the original paper will help you understand how it has been streamlined to the form in which it exists today.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be passionate about math.\", \"描述\": \"In order to stay properly motivated, you must have a passion for what you are doing. If you are not motivated by the idea of discovery or working through a problem, you will be easily discouraged in your studies. Don’t try to force your passion. If it’s not something you truly love, it is not likely to magically become something you love.\\nOn the flip side, you may be passionate, but lack inherent skill. Math may not come easily to you, but if you love it and are willing to put in the necessary time and effort, you can become a good mathematician.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Collaborate with your peers.\", \"描述\": \"Gaining a fundamental understanding of mathematics mostly happens with intense and consistent studying on your own; however, asking questions and conversing with your peers can lead to personal insights or a new perspective on an old problem. Make time to stop for conversation and discuss difficult problems with fellow mathematicians.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take a walk.\", \"描述\": \"When you have encountered a particularly difficult concept, oftentimes, it is best to put it to the back your mind for a bit. Let your brain chew on the problem without pencil and paper and see if you can come up with an interesting solution.\\nEven if you don’t come up with a groundbreaking new theory, taking some time out of your day to enjoy nature is a productive use of your time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Thinking Like a Mathematician\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Question everything.\", \"描述\": \"When looking at something that is said to be true, see if you can prove it. If someone tells you something is true, ask them to prove it to you. Trying to prove something to yourself will help you exercise your math brain and start thinking about all math problems in this way.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Study logic.\", \"描述\": \"Logic is the foundation of a mathematical argument and necessary to developing a proper proof. There are self-study guides online or textbooks you can purchase to study logic. You can also sign up to take a logic course at the local college.\\nSpend time working through logic problems and cultivating that type of thought process.\\nLogic will help you write proofs in an ordered way that people won’t be able to find error with.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write in sentences.\", \"描述\": \"Although it may seem strange to use sentences to explain equations and numbers, a proper mathematical proof is written out in a grammatically correct sentence. If you can’t write your argument in a sentence, you may not fully understand what you are trying to say and need to think about it more.\\nWhen writing a proof, always write in full sentences.\\nStudy old proofs to get an idea of the proper format to use.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Rewrite statements with the contrapositive.\", \"描述\": \"The contrapositive of a statement “If A, then B” is “If not B, then not A”. As an example, the contrapositive of the statement “If I’m from New York, I am American” is “If I am not American, I am not from New York”. The contrapositive is always true which can sometimes be difficult to wrap your head around.\\nAlways rewrite statements with the contrapositive to exercise that thought process.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself about the converse of a statement.\", \"描述\": \"The converse of a statement such as “If A, then B” is “If B, then A”. The converse is not necessarily a true statement. When studying a problem, always ask yourself if the converse is true and then try to prove it. Even if it’s not true, it’s a good exercise to keep in mind when thinking about problems.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pursuing a Higher Education Degree\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Obtain a bachelor’s in mathematics.\", \"描述\": \"It’s necessary to have at least a bachelor’s degree to start a career in mathematics. A master’s degree is recommended, but a bachelor’s is where to start. Choose a university that has a well-known reputation for their mathematics program: \\nHarvard University\\nUniversity of Cambridge\\nUniversity of Oxford\\nMassachusetts Institute of Technology\\nUniversity of Chicago\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose between applied and theoretical mathematics.\", \"描述\": \"When pursuing an advanced degree in mathematics, it is necessary to make a preliminary choice between studying applied and theoretical mathematics. While there is overlap between the two, advanced research will usually focus on one or the other.\\nApplied mathematics uses established theories to solve problems in the real-world with mathematical modeling.\\nTheoretical mathematics push the boundaries of what we know and come up with new concepts to explain scientific and engineering questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Complete a master’s degree and/or doctorate.\", \"描述\": \"Advanced degrees are often considered to be necessary to be a mathematician. While you can start your career with a bachelor’s, pursuing a master’s or doctorate will increase the job opportunities open to you. When choosing a university, again consider the reputation of the program and the professors who teach there.\\nPersistence is important when pursuing a doctorate. The first year or two can be very difficult because all of that you must learn to develop a research project.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn computer modeling software.\", \"描述\": \"Many aspects of mathematics require proficiency in computer programs such as R, SAS, and MATLAB. These programs are not intuitive so taking a course or getting private tutoring is recommended.\\nThere are many online tutorials that are useful for learning these programs, as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Finding a Job\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explore potential careers.\", \"描述\": \"Options for a career in mathematics vary widely. There are many careers available both in industry and in academia. Jobs in industry generally involve mathematical modeling for scientific/biomedical research, economics, encryption, business analytics, actuary analytics, and more. Careers in academia can involve teaching at any level and advanced research similar to that done during a doctorate.\\nWhile pursuing advanced degrees, speak with alumni from your program and your professors to find what is a good fit for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apply for internships.\", \"描述\": \"Internships are a great way to test out a career and gain some necessary experience. You can apply for internships at any stage of your career or education. Many universities have programs that will help place you into an internship that aligns with your career goals. Math societies also promote internship opportunities. Relevant internship opportunities might include:\\nA research position with a professor\\nMathematical modeling with a biomedical or pharmaceutical company\\nStatistics and analytics in economics\\nDeciphering encryptions for military or law enforcement\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Attend mathematics conferences.\", \"描述\": \"There are hundreds of mathematical societies that put on conferences every year. Some of them are more general mathematics, but there are many that are more concentrated on specific branches such as geometry or calculus. Conferences are a great venue to learn about the current research and network with peers in your field. Regular conferences are hosted by societies such as:\\nAmerican Mathematical Society\\nEuropean Mathematical Society\\nSociety for Industrial and Applied Mathematics\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Publish in mathematical journals.\", \"描述\": \"A strong publication record is a great way to boost your resume and get noticed when applying for jobs. Journals articles show that not only have you produced research that has advanced the field, but that you know how to communicate that research to the public.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Network with other mathematicians.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to find a job is to meet people within the field. The more people you know, the more job opportunities you will hear about. These individuals might also be able to put in a good word for you when you are applying for the job to make your resume stand out from the crowd.\\nConferences are a great place to meet new people in your field of study.\\nBeing part of mathematical societies is also a great way to expand your network.\\nJoin the alumni board of your university after you graduate to get in touch with older students.\\nIf speakers come to give talks at your university, ask them to lunch or out to coffee.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do lots of writing practice. Remember, writing once is equal to reading thrice.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,481 |
How to Be a Good Mentor
|
1. Providing Helpful Guidance
1-1. Do your best and ask for help when needed.
The main focus of being a mentor is to provide guidance as best can, and to stay positive for both of you. If there's something you're both finding difficult, don't be afraid to ask someone else for help — such as a teacher if you're in school, an expert in the subject, someone more senior than you at your workplace, etc.
Good mentors don’t need to know everything; in fact, they need to know that they don’t know everything. Experience, expertise, and a record of success are all valuable attributes in a mentor. But so is having the confidence to admit your imperfections and willingness to seek out answers and guidance along with your mentee. Show them that this is what successful people do.
1-2. Don’t panic if you don’t know an answer.
Mentors are not computers or encyclopedias that have all the answers on a certain subject. Remember, this is a good thing, not a sign of your inadequacy. Turn your uncertainty regarding an answer into a learning (and mentoring) opportunity.
Instead of making up a response or ignoring a question you’re not sure about, turn it back over to your mentee. Ask them something like "So how would you do it?". Listen to their response and find a way to build on it, with further questions, clarifications, or guidance.
1-3. Set a good example.
If your mentee doesn’t have legitimate reasons to look up to you, respect you, and accept that you “practice what you preach,” why should they want you as a mentor to begin with? Set the right example both in how you approach the mentoring relationship and how you “live” the guidance you give.
Be punctual, prepared, and engaged for mentoring sessions. If it seems like a chore or a punishment for either of you, the relationship isn’t working.
Mentoring isn’t a “do as I say, not as I do” kind of deal; it can, however, be a “do as I do, not as I’ve done” situation, in which you draw upon your past mistakes and failures for useful guidance.
1-4. Be a guide for certain, and a friend if possible.
Being a good mentor means being able to be objective and fair with your coaching and criticism. If this means you can’t be “buddy-buddy” with your mentee, so be it. Good mentors share a few similarities with good parents — one of them being that they don’t obsess over whether or not they’re “friends” with their charges.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t be a good mentor to a friend, though. You just have to make sure that your friendship doesn’t prevent you from giving the honest feedback that is necessary in a good mentoring relationship.
Also, “don’t (necessarily) be a friend” isn’t the same thing as “don’t be friendly.” Be kind, approachable, and encouraging to your mentee; be an attentive and compassionate listener. Use discretion in regards to what is shared with you during sessions.
2. Offering Useful Encouragement
2-1. Exude optimism.
Being a mentor is a tough job, and so too is being mentored. It is common for mentees to be short on self-confidence to begin with, or to have their confidence shaken in the face of setbacks or criticism. As a mentor, be honest and realistic with your guidance and feedback, but do so with an air of optimism. Help your mentee believe that self-improvement is never out of reach.
Even when difficulties arise, never act like your mentee is failing or will never comprehend your guidance. If they don't do so well at a task or exam or project related to your mentoring, keep smiling and offer to help them with what they got wrong. If they do well, feel proud of what they have accomplished with your help and congratulate them.
2-2. Stay in control at all times.
You might assume that only the mentee is apt to get upset or frustrated by poor results. However, you invest a lot into the relationship as a good mentor, and your own frustrations about not “getting through” to or adequately helping your mentee might cause you to project these emotions outwardly. Basically, you might be mad at yourself, but be tempted to direct this anger toward your mentee.
Never, ever, curse at the learner, or say (or even intimate) that they are worthless or dim-witted. Not only will you crush their confidence, you will likely face sanctions if your mentorship has some sort of affiliation. Never let your frustrations get the best of you in front of your mentee. Take a break or make an excuse to cancel or cut a session short if necessary.
Even if the problems are primarily the mentee’s doing, steer clear of accusatory “you” statements; stick with “I” and “we” statements that focus on things you can work on together. For instance, don’t say “If you would just pay attention to what I’m saying here….”; try “I think we need to find better ways to communicate with each other.”
2-3. Serve your mentee a steady diet of the "feedback sandwich”.
Start by complimenting them, identifying some of their strongest points. Then nicely lay out some areas they need to work on. Be direct, but not unkind. Finish it off with some further encouragement, projecting a positive outcome of future efforts.
For instance: “The ideas you presented during yesterday’s conference call were fantastic. We should continue to work on your poise and delivery, though, so that the full impact of what you’re advocating for is felt by all. Just keep working hard and coming up with those great solutions, and before long you’ll be the one running the conference calls!”
2-4. Lay on the praise.
Make sure they know that you believe in them, and that you are aware of their efforts and improvements. Don’t withhold deserved praise, thinking that this withholding will help “toughen up” your mentee or stoke their motivation. When they’ve earned it, even for minor successes, give it to them.
On the other side of the coin, don’t manufacture false praise just for the sake of saying something nice. You risk losing your credibility if your false praise is transparent. If your mentee has given you little reason to offer praise, focus your energies on constructive criticism and responding to their questions.
3. Creating a Good Environment
3-1. Choose a time and place that’s good for both of you.
Some mentoring relationships may operate on a consistent weekly schedule, while others are less rigidly structured. In any case, try not to force mentoring sessions into times or places full of distractions, or when one or both of you are exhausted or preoccupied.
Pick a good place to mentor them in. You want to keep their attention on you, without them getting bored or their attention wandering. For school students, a library would be the traditional choice, and a good one too - it will be quieter than other places, there may be room to spread out books or papers, and if you need a book you're in the right place!
Make sure you are always prepared for a mentoring session. Don’t try to squeeze in some mentoring when you’re distracted by a dozen other things, and reschedule a weekly session if necessary when you’ve been unable to properly prepare. A delayed but fully engaged session is far more beneficial than a half-hearted but on-schedule one.
3-2. Be patient and polite, and expect the same.
Even if you combined the world’s most effective mentor with the world’s most eager mentee, you wouldn’t see some sort of immediate transformation. Mentoring is about incrementally laying the groundwork for lasting change and self-improvement. It’s not a race or a competition; it’s a process, and it requires patience from both sides.
Rome wasn’t built in day, and your mentee won’t be transformed after one session either. Whether they are fast or slow learners, remain calm. If they're not getting something, try to explain it in different ways until they do - or just come back to it later.
Establish ground rules early on regarding mutual respect and accountability. Create an atmosphere in which some degree of personal sharing can occur and so-called “stupid questions” can be asked, but define the roles of mentor and mentee and the proper nature of interactions between the two.
3-3. Encourage yourself as well.
The mentee isn’t the only one who might question their abilities or results. There will be times when you’ll feel like you’re not doing a good enough job, or simply feel down because the results your mentee is working so hard for don’t seem to be paying off. Remind yourself that you are doing your best, and you are making a positive difference in this other person’s life.
You don’t have to brag about your own success and experience in your field, or assume that such things mean that you are automatically a great mentor. However, you should draw on these realities as confidence-boosters in your ability to achieve your goals, including mentoring.
When your mentee is struggling, keep smiling and offer to help them. When they do succeed, feel proud of what they have accomplished with your help and congratulate them. Give yourself a pat on the back as well. Their success is something for of you to be proud of.
3-4. Be a mentor even at a distance.
There will be times when you can’t meet with your mentee face-to-face, and some mentoring relationships may in fact be conducted entirely from a distance. Even if you do lose out on some of the interpersonal connection in such instances, you can develop and effective mentoring partnership regardless. Stay focused on the core concepts of support, guidance, constructive feedback, and accessibility.
In an online or similar distance-based mentorship, be available to your mentee but set boundaries as well. You don’t have to respond at 2 am if that is not the nature of your mentoring relationship.
Use online resources to your advantage in distance mentoring. Locate helpful links, pages, forums, videos, documents, games, and so on. But don’t expect these to replace the core mentor-mentee connection that needs to be forged and maintained.
Tips
Be a good example for them.
Give them advice about how life will be for them.
Make sure they know that, although you are friendly, if you need to lay down the rules, you will.
Warnings
If they aren't receptive or pleasant when you meet them, then just do your best to build a positive relationship.
Never yell or curse at the mentee.
Be careful not to be too fun, though. You're there to help them learn, and they could end up taking advantage of you.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Providing Helpful Guidance\\n1-1. Do your best and ask for help when needed.\\nThe main focus of being a mentor is to provide guidance as best can, and to stay positive for both of you. If there's something you're both finding difficult, don't be afraid to ask someone else for help — such as a teacher if you're in school, an expert in the subject, someone more senior than you at your workplace, etc.\\nGood mentors don’t need to know everything; in fact, they need to know that they don’t know everything. Experience, expertise, and a record of success are all valuable attributes in a mentor. But so is having the confidence to admit your imperfections and willingness to seek out answers and guidance along with your mentee. Show them that this is what successful people do.\\n1-2. Don’t panic if you don’t know an answer.\\nMentors are not computers or encyclopedias that have all the answers on a certain subject. Remember, this is a good thing, not a sign of your inadequacy. Turn your uncertainty regarding an answer into a learning (and mentoring) opportunity.\\nInstead of making up a response or ignoring a question you’re not sure about, turn it back over to your mentee. Ask them something like \\\"So how would you do it?\\\". Listen to their response and find a way to build on it, with further questions, clarifications, or guidance.\\n1-3. Set a good example.\\nIf your mentee doesn’t have legitimate reasons to look up to you, respect you, and accept that you “practice what you preach,” why should they want you as a mentor to begin with? Set the right example both in how you approach the mentoring relationship and how you “live” the guidance you give.\\nBe punctual, prepared, and engaged for mentoring sessions. If it seems like a chore or a punishment for either of you, the relationship isn’t working.\\nMentoring isn’t a “do as I say, not as I do” kind of deal; it can, however, be a “do as I do, not as I’ve done” situation, in which you draw upon your past mistakes and failures for useful guidance.\\n1-4. Be a guide for certain, and a friend if possible.\\nBeing a good mentor means being able to be objective and fair with your coaching and criticism. If this means you can’t be “buddy-buddy” with your mentee, so be it. Good mentors share a few similarities with good parents — one of them being that they don’t obsess over whether or not they’re “friends” with their charges.\\nThis doesn’t mean that you can’t be a good mentor to a friend, though. You just have to make sure that your friendship doesn’t prevent you from giving the honest feedback that is necessary in a good mentoring relationship.\\nAlso, “don’t (necessarily) be a friend” isn’t the same thing as “don’t be friendly.” Be kind, approachable, and encouraging to your mentee; be an attentive and compassionate listener. Use discretion in regards to what is shared with you during sessions.\\n2. Offering Useful Encouragement\\n2-1. Exude optimism.\\nBeing a mentor is a tough job, and so too is being mentored. It is common for mentees to be short on self-confidence to begin with, or to have their confidence shaken in the face of setbacks or criticism. As a mentor, be honest and realistic with your guidance and feedback, but do so with an air of optimism. Help your mentee believe that self-improvement is never out of reach.\\nEven when difficulties arise, never act like your mentee is failing or will never comprehend your guidance. If they don't do so well at a task or exam or project related to your mentoring, keep smiling and offer to help them with what they got wrong. If they do well, feel proud of what they have accomplished with your help and congratulate them.\\n2-2. Stay in control at all times.\\nYou might assume that only the mentee is apt to get upset or frustrated by poor results. However, you invest a lot into the relationship as a good mentor, and your own frustrations about not “getting through” to or adequately helping your mentee might cause you to project these emotions outwardly. Basically, you might be mad at yourself, but be tempted to direct this anger toward your mentee.\\nNever, ever, curse at the learner, or say (or even intimate) that they are worthless or dim-witted. Not only will you crush their confidence, you will likely face sanctions if your mentorship has some sort of affiliation. Never let your frustrations get the best of you in front of your mentee. Take a break or make an excuse to cancel or cut a session short if necessary.\\nEven if the problems are primarily the mentee’s doing, steer clear of accusatory “you” statements; stick with “I” and “we” statements that focus on things you can work on together. For instance, don’t say “If you would just pay attention to what I’m saying here….”; try “I think we need to find better ways to communicate with each other.”\\n2-3. Serve your mentee a steady diet of the \\\"feedback sandwich”.\\nStart by complimenting them, identifying some of their strongest points. Then nicely lay out some areas they need to work on. Be direct, but not unkind. Finish it off with some further encouragement, projecting a positive outcome of future efforts.\\nFor instance: “The ideas you presented during yesterday’s conference call were fantastic. We should continue to work on your poise and delivery, though, so that the full impact of what you’re advocating for is felt by all. Just keep working hard and coming up with those great solutions, and before long you’ll be the one running the conference calls!”\\n2-4. Lay on the praise.\\nMake sure they know that you believe in them, and that you are aware of their efforts and improvements. Don’t withhold deserved praise, thinking that this withholding will help “toughen up” your mentee or stoke their motivation. When they’ve earned it, even for minor successes, give it to them.\\nOn the other side of the coin, don’t manufacture false praise just for the sake of saying something nice. You risk losing your credibility if your false praise is transparent. If your mentee has given you little reason to offer praise, focus your energies on constructive criticism and responding to their questions.\\n3. Creating a Good Environment\\n3-1. Choose a time and place that’s good for both of you.\\nSome mentoring relationships may operate on a consistent weekly schedule, while others are less rigidly structured. In any case, try not to force mentoring sessions into times or places full of distractions, or when one or both of you are exhausted or preoccupied.\\nPick a good place to mentor them in. You want to keep their attention on you, without them getting bored or their attention wandering. For school students, a library would be the traditional choice, and a good one too - it will be quieter than other places, there may be room to spread out books or papers, and if you need a book you're in the right place!\\nMake sure you are always prepared for a mentoring session. Don’t try to squeeze in some mentoring when you’re distracted by a dozen other things, and reschedule a weekly session if necessary when you’ve been unable to properly prepare. A delayed but fully engaged session is far more beneficial than a half-hearted but on-schedule one.\\n3-2. Be patient and polite, and expect the same.\\nEven if you combined the world’s most effective mentor with the world’s most eager mentee, you wouldn’t see some sort of immediate transformation. Mentoring is about incrementally laying the groundwork for lasting change and self-improvement. It’s not a race or a competition; it’s a process, and it requires patience from both sides.\\nRome wasn’t built in day, and your mentee won’t be transformed after one session either. Whether they are fast or slow learners, remain calm. If they're not getting something, try to explain it in different ways until they do - or just come back to it later.\\nEstablish ground rules early on regarding mutual respect and accountability. Create an atmosphere in which some degree of personal sharing can occur and so-called “stupid questions” can be asked, but define the roles of mentor and mentee and the proper nature of interactions between the two.\\n3-3. Encourage yourself as well.\\nThe mentee isn’t the only one who might question their abilities or results. There will be times when you’ll feel like you’re not doing a good enough job, or simply feel down because the results your mentee is working so hard for don’t seem to be paying off. Remind yourself that you are doing your best, and you are making a positive difference in this other person’s life.\\nYou don’t have to brag about your own success and experience in your field, or assume that such things mean that you are automatically a great mentor. However, you should draw on these realities as confidence-boosters in your ability to achieve your goals, including mentoring.\\nWhen your mentee is struggling, keep smiling and offer to help them. When they do succeed, feel proud of what they have accomplished with your help and congratulate them. Give yourself a pat on the back as well. Their success is something for of you to be proud of.\\n3-4. Be a mentor even at a distance.\\nThere will be times when you can’t meet with your mentee face-to-face, and some mentoring relationships may in fact be conducted entirely from a distance. Even if you do lose out on some of the interpersonal connection in such instances, you can develop and effective mentoring partnership regardless. Stay focused on the core concepts of support, guidance, constructive feedback, and accessibility.\\nIn an online or similar distance-based mentorship, be available to your mentee but set boundaries as well. You don’t have to respond at 2 am if that is not the nature of your mentoring relationship.\\nUse online resources to your advantage in distance mentoring. Locate helpful links, pages, forums, videos, documents, games, and so on. But don’t expect these to replace the core mentor-mentee connection that needs to be forged and maintained.\\nTips\\nBe a good example for them.\\nGive them advice about how life will be for them.\\nMake sure they know that, although you are friendly, if you need to lay down the rules, you will.\\nWarnings\\nIf they aren't receptive or pleasant when you meet them, then just do your best to build a positive relationship.\\nNever yell or curse at the mentee.\\nBe careful not to be too fun, though. You're there to help them learn, and they could end up taking advantage of you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There is no simple definition for what makes a good mentor, nor a single guide for becoming one. Mentors can be bosses, colleagues, teachers, peers, friends, or just about anyone who has the experience, determination, and temperament to be a helpful guide. If you want to be a good mentor, draw upon your existing skills and successes, but also be ready to learn and listen. Remember that mentoring is not a one-way street, and that a successful mentoring relationship will provide lasting benefits for both parties.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Providing Helpful Guidance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your best and ask for help when needed.\", \"描述\": \"The main focus of being a mentor is to provide guidance as best can, and to stay positive for both of you. If there's something you're both finding difficult, don't be afraid to ask someone else for help — such as a teacher if you're in school, an expert in the subject, someone more senior than you at your workplace, etc.\\nGood mentors don’t need to know everything; in fact, they need to know that they don’t know everything. Experience, expertise, and a record of success are all valuable attributes in a mentor. But so is having the confidence to admit your imperfections and willingness to seek out answers and guidance along with your mentee. Show them that this is what successful people do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t panic if you don’t know an answer.\", \"描述\": \"Mentors are not computers or encyclopedias that have all the answers on a certain subject. Remember, this is a good thing, not a sign of your inadequacy. Turn your uncertainty regarding an answer into a learning (and mentoring) opportunity.\\nInstead of making up a response or ignoring a question you’re not sure about, turn it back over to your mentee. Ask them something like \\\"So how would you do it?\\\". Listen to their response and find a way to build on it, with further questions, clarifications, or guidance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set a good example.\", \"描述\": \"If your mentee doesn’t have legitimate reasons to look up to you, respect you, and accept that you “practice what you preach,” why should they want you as a mentor to begin with? Set the right example both in how you approach the mentoring relationship and how you “live” the guidance you give.\\nBe punctual, prepared, and engaged for mentoring sessions. If it seems like a chore or a punishment for either of you, the relationship isn’t working.\\nMentoring isn’t a “do as I say, not as I do” kind of deal; it can, however, be a “do as I do, not as I’ve done” situation, in which you draw upon your past mistakes and failures for useful guidance.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be a guide for certain, and a friend if possible.\", \"描述\": \"Being a good mentor means being able to be objective and fair with your coaching and criticism. If this means you can’t be “buddy-buddy” with your mentee, so be it. Good mentors share a few similarities with good parents — one of them being that they don’t obsess over whether or not they’re “friends” with their charges.\\nThis doesn’t mean that you can’t be a good mentor to a friend, though. You just have to make sure that your friendship doesn’t prevent you from giving the honest feedback that is necessary in a good mentoring relationship.\\nAlso, “don’t (necessarily) be a friend” isn’t the same thing as “don’t be friendly.” Be kind, approachable, and encouraging to your mentee; be an attentive and compassionate listener. Use discretion in regards to what is shared with you during sessions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offering Useful Encouragement\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exude optimism.\", \"描述\": \"Being a mentor is a tough job, and so too is being mentored. It is common for mentees to be short on self-confidence to begin with, or to have their confidence shaken in the face of setbacks or criticism. As a mentor, be honest and realistic with your guidance and feedback, but do so with an air of optimism. Help your mentee believe that self-improvement is never out of reach.\\nEven when difficulties arise, never act like your mentee is failing or will never comprehend your guidance. If they don't do so well at a task or exam or project related to your mentoring, keep smiling and offer to help them with what they got wrong. If they do well, feel proud of what they have accomplished with your help and congratulate them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay in control at all times.\", \"描述\": \"You might assume that only the mentee is apt to get upset or frustrated by poor results. However, you invest a lot into the relationship as a good mentor, and your own frustrations about not “getting through” to or adequately helping your mentee might cause you to project these emotions outwardly. Basically, you might be mad at yourself, but be tempted to direct this anger toward your mentee.\\nNever, ever, curse at the learner, or say (or even intimate) that they are worthless or dim-witted. Not only will you crush their confidence, you will likely face sanctions if your mentorship has some sort of affiliation. Never let your frustrations get the best of you in front of your mentee. Take a break or make an excuse to cancel or cut a session short if necessary.\\nEven if the problems are primarily the mentee’s doing, steer clear of accusatory “you” statements; stick with “I” and “we” statements that focus on things you can work on together. For instance, don’t say “If you would just pay attention to what I’m saying here….”; try “I think we need to find better ways to communicate with each other.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Serve your mentee a steady diet of the \\\"feedback sandwich”.\", \"描述\": \"Start by complimenting them, identifying some of their strongest points. Then nicely lay out some areas they need to work on. Be direct, but not unkind. Finish it off with some further encouragement, projecting a positive outcome of future efforts.\\nFor instance: “The ideas you presented during yesterday’s conference call were fantastic. We should continue to work on your poise and delivery, though, so that the full impact of what you’re advocating for is felt by all. Just keep working hard and coming up with those great solutions, and before long you’ll be the one running the conference calls!”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Lay on the praise.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure they know that you believe in them, and that you are aware of their efforts and improvements. Don’t withhold deserved praise, thinking that this withholding will help “toughen up” your mentee or stoke their motivation. When they’ve earned it, even for minor successes, give it to them.\\nOn the other side of the coin, don’t manufacture false praise just for the sake of saying something nice. You risk losing your credibility if your false praise is transparent. If your mentee has given you little reason to offer praise, focus your energies on constructive criticism and responding to their questions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Creating a Good Environment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a time and place that’s good for both of you.\", \"描述\": \"Some mentoring relationships may operate on a consistent weekly schedule, while others are less rigidly structured. In any case, try not to force mentoring sessions into times or places full of distractions, or when one or both of you are exhausted or preoccupied.\\nPick a good place to mentor them in. You want to keep their attention on you, without them getting bored or their attention wandering. For school students, a library would be the traditional choice, and a good one too - it will be quieter than other places, there may be room to spread out books or papers, and if you need a book you're in the right place!\\nMake sure you are always prepared for a mentoring session. Don’t try to squeeze in some mentoring when you’re distracted by a dozen other things, and reschedule a weekly session if necessary when you’ve been unable to properly prepare. A delayed but fully engaged session is far more beneficial than a half-hearted but on-schedule one.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be patient and polite, and expect the same.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you combined the world’s most effective mentor with the world’s most eager mentee, you wouldn’t see some sort of immediate transformation. Mentoring is about incrementally laying the groundwork for lasting change and self-improvement. It’s not a race or a competition; it’s a process, and it requires patience from both sides.\\nRome wasn’t built in day, and your mentee won’t be transformed after one session either. Whether they are fast or slow learners, remain calm. If they're not getting something, try to explain it in different ways until they do - or just come back to it later.\\nEstablish ground rules early on regarding mutual respect and accountability. Create an atmosphere in which some degree of personal sharing can occur and so-called “stupid questions” can be asked, but define the roles of mentor and mentee and the proper nature of interactions between the two.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Encourage yourself as well.\", \"描述\": \"The mentee isn’t the only one who might question their abilities or results. There will be times when you’ll feel like you’re not doing a good enough job, or simply feel down because the results your mentee is working so hard for don’t seem to be paying off. Remind yourself that you are doing your best, and you are making a positive difference in this other person’s life.\\nYou don’t have to brag about your own success and experience in your field, or assume that such things mean that you are automatically a great mentor. However, you should draw on these realities as confidence-boosters in your ability to achieve your goals, including mentoring.\\nWhen your mentee is struggling, keep smiling and offer to help them. When they do succeed, feel proud of what they have accomplished with your help and congratulate them. Give yourself a pat on the back as well. Their success is something for of you to be proud of.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be a mentor even at a distance.\", \"描述\": \"There will be times when you can’t meet with your mentee face-to-face, and some mentoring relationships may in fact be conducted entirely from a distance. Even if you do lose out on some of the interpersonal connection in such instances, you can develop and effective mentoring partnership regardless. Stay focused on the core concepts of support, guidance, constructive feedback, and accessibility.\\nIn an online or similar distance-based mentorship, be available to your mentee but set boundaries as well. You don’t have to respond at 2 am if that is not the nature of your mentoring relationship.\\nUse online resources to your advantage in distance mentoring. Locate helpful links, pages, forums, videos, documents, games, and so on. But don’t expect these to replace the core mentor-mentee connection that needs to be forged and maintained.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be a good example for them.\\n\", \"Give them advice about how life will be for them.\\n\", \"Make sure they know that, although you are friendly, if you need to lay down the rules, you will.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If they aren't receptive or pleasant when you meet them, then just do your best to build a positive relationship.\\n\", \"Never yell or curse at the mentee.\\n\", \"Be careful not to be too fun, though. You're there to help them learn, and they could end up taking advantage of you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,482 |
How to Be a Good Minecraft YouTuber
|
1. Steps
1-1. Use commentary!
Buy a microphone, good or not, it's better than nothing! Can you think of any gamer who has over 100k subscribers (and particularly does gaming videos) who doesn't speak in his/her videos?
1-2. Avoid annoying laughter.
Go to laughing school, after you pass, you may continue to the next step. But seriously, practice a regular laugh - not something over the roof that is straight out bizarre and loud. Something pretty medium noise level genuine laugh.
1-3. Make good quality videos.
Download a good recording software such as Hypercam, Fraps, Bandicam, or Camtasia. If you are looking for a free recorder that accepts voice and face cam, try Ezvid.
1-4. No dirt houses or any other unappealing homes.
In Minecraft, do not build a horrible house (except if you're just kidding around). Expand your house. Make traps. Maybe trap a friend to cause a hilarious reaction.
1-5. Get a friend or co-op with someone!
A buddy will support you and not make you feel alone and worried. Make sure it's a good friend, or you might get worried, freak out, hyperventilation, or completely uncomfortable.
1-6. Don't tell bad jokes.
You can tell jokes that are meant to be bad jokes, though. So if you tell a bad joke, hope the audience thinks that you're kidding around. Speak funnily after that and they would. Do that after every joke. Every joke is meant to be a joke.
1-7. Overreact over creepers.
Be funny when a creeper is around. He blew up your house? Do a stupid crying, whining noise to emphasize it.
1-8. Don't use huge words.
The audience of people who may be watching you will not understand the vocabulary you are giving them, so stay with mainstream words.
1-9. Don't repeat yourself.
Repeating yourself isn't really interesting, as all your content will look the same, it will definitely decrease popularity level. Be sure to be confident in your videos and speak clearly to the microphone so the people watching can understand and you yourself could when you go back and edit the video.
Tips
To get more views, try to make the viewer feel more involved, such as using competitions and asking for suggestions.
Don't think about getting rich, think about making good videos. Being a Minecraft YouTuber is all about patience and truly enjoying the game. If you don't get popular immediately, don't worry. Rome wasn't built in a day.
Don't have too long of gaps in commentary. People may get bored and leave, especially if you're just sitting around.
Warnings
Never copyright any videos from anyone else if you are desperate for views.
Be careful about hate comments. Being a youtuber means you have to be resilient, especially when it comes to haters.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Use commentary!\\nBuy a microphone, good or not, it's better than nothing! Can you think of any gamer who has over 100k subscribers (and particularly does gaming videos) who doesn't speak in his/her videos?\\n1-2. Avoid annoying laughter.\\nGo to laughing school, after you pass, you may continue to the next step. But seriously, practice a regular laugh - not something over the roof that is straight out bizarre and loud. Something pretty medium noise level genuine laugh.\\n1-3. Make good quality videos.\\nDownload a good recording software such as Hypercam, Fraps, Bandicam, or Camtasia. If you are looking for a free recorder that accepts voice and face cam, try Ezvid.\\n1-4. No dirt houses or any other unappealing homes.\\nIn Minecraft, do not build a horrible house (except if you're just kidding around). Expand your house. Make traps. Maybe trap a friend to cause a hilarious reaction.\\n1-5. Get a friend or co-op with someone!\\nA buddy will support you and not make you feel alone and worried. Make sure it's a good friend, or you might get worried, freak out, hyperventilation, or completely uncomfortable.\\n1-6. Don't tell bad jokes.\\nYou can tell jokes that are meant to be bad jokes, though. So if you tell a bad joke, hope the audience thinks that you're kidding around. Speak funnily after that and they would. Do that after every joke. Every joke is meant to be a joke.\\n1-7. Overreact over creepers.\\nBe funny when a creeper is around. He blew up your house? Do a stupid crying, whining noise to emphasize it.\\n1-8. Don't use huge words.\\nThe audience of people who may be watching you will not understand the vocabulary you are giving them, so stay with mainstream words.\\n1-9. Don't repeat yourself.\\nRepeating yourself isn't really interesting, as all your content will look the same, it will definitely decrease popularity level. Be sure to be confident in your videos and speak clearly to the microphone so the people watching can understand and you yourself could when you go back and edit the video.\\nTips\\nTo get more views, try to make the viewer feel more involved, such as using competitions and asking for suggestions.\\nDon't think about getting rich, think about making good videos. Being a Minecraft YouTuber is all about patience and truly enjoying the game. If you don't get popular immediately, don't worry. Rome wasn't built in a day.\\nDon't have too long of gaps in commentary. People may get bored and leave, especially if you're just sitting around.\\nWarnings\\nNever copyright any videos from anyone else if you are desperate for views.\\nBe careful about hate comments. Being a youtuber means you have to be resilient, especially when it comes to haters.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You might have strayed to this article or literally searched for it. Well, you're in luck! These tips and tricks will make you a successful YouTuber just like Stampy, DanTDM, PopularMMOs, SSundee and more! Just follow these steps right, and you are on your way to success!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use commentary!\", \"描述\": \"Buy a microphone, good or not, it's better than nothing! Can you think of any gamer who has over 100k subscribers (and particularly does gaming videos) who doesn't speak in his/her videos?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid annoying laughter.\", \"描述\": \"Go to laughing school, after you pass, you may continue to the next step. But seriously, practice a regular laugh - not something over the roof that is straight out bizarre and loud. Something pretty medium noise level genuine laugh.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make good quality videos.\", \"描述\": \"Download a good recording software such as Hypercam, Fraps, Bandicam, or Camtasia. If you are looking for a free recorder that accepts voice and face cam, try Ezvid.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"No dirt houses or any other unappealing homes.\", \"描述\": \"In Minecraft, do not build a horrible house (except if you're just kidding around). Expand your house. Make traps. Maybe trap a friend to cause a hilarious reaction.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get a friend or co-op with someone!\", \"描述\": \"A buddy will support you and not make you feel alone and worried. Make sure it's a good friend, or you might get worried, freak out, hyperventilation, or completely uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't tell bad jokes.\", \"描述\": \"You can tell jokes that are meant to be bad jokes, though. So if you tell a bad joke, hope the audience thinks that you're kidding around. Speak funnily after that and they would. Do that after every joke. Every joke is meant to be a joke.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Overreact over creepers.\", \"描述\": \"Be funny when a creeper is around. He blew up your house? Do a stupid crying, whining noise to emphasize it.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don't use huge words.\", \"描述\": \"The audience of people who may be watching you will not understand the vocabulary you are giving them, so stay with mainstream words.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don't repeat yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Repeating yourself isn't really interesting, as all your content will look the same, it will definitely decrease popularity level. Be sure to be confident in your videos and speak clearly to the microphone so the people watching can understand and you yourself could when you go back and edit the video.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"To get more views, try to make the viewer feel more involved, such as using competitions and asking for suggestions.\\n\", \"Don't think about getting rich, think about making good videos. Being a Minecraft YouTuber is all about patience and truly enjoying the game. If you don't get popular immediately, don't worry. Rome wasn't built in a day.\\n\", \"Don't have too long of gaps in commentary. People may get bored and leave, especially if you're just sitting around.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never copyright any videos from anyone else if you are desperate for views.\\n\", \"Be careful about hate comments. Being a youtuber means you have to be resilient, especially when it comes to haters.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,483 |
Parenting When Depressed: How to Manage Your Symptoms & Be a Good Mom
|
1. Understanding Depression in Moms
1-1. Women are twice as likely as men to experience depression.
1 in 10 women report symptoms of a major depressive episode each year. Motherhood is often stressful and comes with several hormonal shifts. This chronic stress can lead to depression over time.
Research has shown that 1 in 8 mothers experience postpartum depression during pregnancy and soon after giving birth.
If you’re experiencing a depressive episode, it’s helpful to track when your symptoms started. You may be affected by perimenopausal depression, where symptoms appear before menopause.
You might also be living with another kind of depression, such as Seasonal Affective Disorder, where depression is tied to the time of year. Knowing the timing of your depressive episodes can help you plan for them in advance.
Depression is also common after birth, usually due to the amount of pressure on the new mom so that everything regarding the baby is perfect.
1-2. Each woman experiences different symptoms of depression.
The following symptoms are common signs of depression. You may not have all of them, but if several describe you, you may be experiencing depression:
A persistent feeling of sadness or emptiness
Irritability
Fatigue
Waking up too early or oversleeping
A loss of pleasure in hobbies or activities
Aches and cramps with no clear cause
Changes in appetite
Moving and talking more slowly
Persistent thoughts of death or suicide
1-3. Women experience different depression symptoms than men.
Although depression in men is often associated with aggressive and risk-taking behavior as well as substance abuse, women are more likely to experience depression as a feeling of overwhelming sadness and a lack of pleasure.
1-4. Some women may confuse depression with anxiety.
Although these illnesses commonly occur together, unlike depression, anxiety is associated with persistent and severe worrying, obsession over worst-case scenarios, and feeling restless or physically agitated.
Although most people experience some anxiety, if these symptoms have begun to seriously interfere with your daily life, you may have generalized anxiety disorder.
The desire to have everything be perfect for the new child can lead to sadness and anxiety when new moms do not perceive themselves to be doing everything correctly.
2. Managing Depression Symptoms at Home
2-1. Stay in touch with friends and family.
Although depression can make you want to withdraw from your social life, staying connected can improve your mood. When you feel low, call someone you trust for a friendly conversation.
You don’t have to open up about your depression symptoms if you don’t want to, although you should feel free to do so. Remember that your friends and family are there to support you, but if you’d prefer to chat about a more light-hearted topic, this can also make you feel better.
2-2. Get some sunlight.
During daylight hours, try to spend at least 15 minutes a day outdoors. Sunlight can boost your serotonin levels and improve your mood. You can also increase the amount of sunlight you’re exposed to indoors by sitting near windows and opening your blinds and drapes.
If you live in an area where there isn’t much sunlight in the winter, try getting a light therapy box.
2-3. Practice a daily relaxation technique.
Yoga, deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness exercises can keep you mentally strong. Doing a relaxation technique every day can relieve the symptoms of depression and boost your sense of well-being.
2-4. Keep yourself active.
Exercise can really help raise your mood and alleviate the symptoms of depression. It’s okay if you haven’t exercised in a while—you don’t need to be a world-class athlete. Start by walking for 20 minutes every day.
Finding a fitness partner can give you the motivation to stay active. Ask a friend if they’d like to start going on walks or to the gym together.
2-5. Fight off your negative thoughts.
Depression can lead you into cycles of unhealthy thinking. But you have the power to challenge these thoughts and take back control over your mental health. When you find yourself spiraling down a path of self-doubt, self-criticism, and sadness, ask yourself:
“What’s the evidence that this thought is true?”
“What would I tell a friend if they told me they had this thought?”
“How might I think about this situation if I didn’t have depression?”
2-6. Limit your alcohol intake.
Studies have shown that consuming alcohol changes your brain chemistry and can put you at a higher risk for depressive symptoms. If you don’t want to avoid alcohol altogether, be sure you’re not drinking every day, and try not to drink to excess.
3. How Parental Depression Affects Kids
3-1. Be aware of some of the risks that come from having a depressed parent.
Parental depression shapes a child’s experience of the world. Studies have shown that depressed mothers tend to be less emotionally responsive to their children, which can change how children act with others. Depression can also cause parents to isolate their families, and limit their child’s interactions with the world.
Don’t let this information discourage you. Living with depression doesn’t make you a bad mother. But being aware of some of the issues that can come up while parenting with depression can help you take steps to counterbalance them.
3-2. Be transparent about what you're going through if your child is older.
You don’t have to appear invincible to be a good mom. Depending on the age and maturity of your child, it may be time to talk to them about what you’re going through. If your child is older, they may already be familiar with what depression is, and can be another source of support for you.
Children are perceptive: they can tell when something is emotionally off-balance. By addressing your depression head-on with your child, you can teach them to trust their instincts, and help them make sense of something they probably already know.
Open this conversation by saying something like, “You know I love you more than anything in the world, but sometimes I feel sorta sick, and it hurts me that I can’t always spend as much time with you as I want.”
Always take care with the language used to convey your situation. For example, avoid using terms like "suffering with depression". It's better to say "living with depression". Remember that children tend to mirror the parents, so make a good example and remind them that this doesn't mean you're less than a person because of it.
3-3. Have as many conversations with your child as you need.
Try your best to express yourself, and remember you can always have another conversation later if you need to. You don’t need to cover everything during a single conversation.
If you’re finding it too hard to talk to your child about this issue, then you can invite them to sit in on a therapy session with you. A trained professional can help you navigate this conversation.
3-4. Protect your child by encouraging their resiliency.
All children will face negative experiences in their lives, but by developing your child’s resiliency, you can help them adjust to the difficulties that come from having a depressed caregiver. Research has shown that some ways to increase resiliency include:
Building a sense of self-efficacy and perceived control: let your child make decisions for themselves, so that they can feel in command over their own lives. For younger children, you can start by having them make smaller choices, like what to have for dinner.
Providing opportunities for self-reliance: let your child deal with conflicts at school or in other parts of their lives without your assistance. Step in only when there is a danger to their safety.
Mobilizing sources of faith and cultural traditions: educate your child on traditions that they share with other people. By allowing them to feel tapped into a bigger network of people who share their values, they’ll feel more ready to take on the world.
4. Keeping on Top of Mom Duties
4-1. Create a list of ‘mom-stuff’ so you don’t lose track.
Often, depression can make us unable to meet our commitments. For example, children with depressed parents are often late for or miss school. Having a weekly list made in advance will help keep you on task.
When making your list, start by writing down any regular responsibilities you have, like doing laundry and making dinner. Then, add any special commitments you have, like going to your child’s sports event. As you finish each task, cross it off, and enjoy your feeling of well-earned accomplishment.
Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks if you don’t feel up to doing them. Reaching out to a partner, family member, friend, or even acquaintance, can help you manage your responsibilities when they come up. Remember that, although you are the mother, you don't have to do everything by yourself.
4-2. Join a mom’s group or reach out to nearby family and friends.
It takes a village, especially when you’re depressed. The goal here is to find people who you and your children trust, so that you can share some of the load when it comes to raising your kids.
Loved ones who live far away can also be an important part of your support system. Keep in touch with friends and family, especially ones who are parents themselves, and can relate to your struggles.
If you’re looking for another group of moms to help out with childcare duties, try talking to parents at your child’s school events. It can feel awkward at first, but chances are there are plenty of people there who are happy to help. You don’t need to disclose any of your depressive symptoms in order to ask for a helping hand.
4-3. Ask your children to help you if they can.
If your children are old enough, they can do simple tasks to keep the household running or help you with your basic needs, like medication and dressing. Check in with them about their own mental health by asking them a question like, “How are you feeling on a scale of 1-10?” so that they don’t end up overburdening themselves.
Be sure that you balance their caring responsibilities with free time, and schedule time each week where your children can do nothing. This will keep them from feeling resentful over having too many ‘grown-up’ responsibilities.
4-4. Make your children feel special when you feel strong.
This might mean taking them out on a special trip or treating them to a nice dinner. It could also mean just spending time with them at home, and being attentive when they talk about their days. Remember that even in the worst depressive episodes, there will always be some moments of relief.
Don’t take it personally if your children aren’t up to doing something adventurous when you want to. They might be busy themselves, or have their own stresses to work through. But when you feel good, try to spend that time with them in a meaningful way—you won’t regret it.
Remember that ‘good enough’ is fine. There is no need to be a perfect parent, and no one ever is. Often, depressed people put too much pressure on themselves, and feel like failures if they can’t meet their own expectations. Stay away from this kind of trap.
5. Treatment for Depression
See a therapist soon if you aren't already.
Bring up your anxieties around being a mom. A good therapist can provide a space for you to recover and heal. With science-backed techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), you can beat your depression, and get back to enjoying your life.
CBT is effective at helping depressed parents. By offering strategies to overcome the challenges that depression poses, you can regain a sense of control over your life.
Your therapist may decide to refer to you a psychiatrist for medical treatment. Many depressed parents use a combination of therapy and medication to allow them to be the best support for their kids that they can be.
If you’re already on medication, be sure to make regular appointments with your doctor to mitigate any unwanted side effects. You deserve a treatment plan that allows you to live your life as easily and healthily as possible.
Tips
Make a Wellness Recovery Action Plan and give copies to people you trust. In this document, you should include information like the numbers for your therapist and psychiatrist, phone numbers for friends and family who have been helpful in the past, and information on things that have helped you deal with a crisis in the past.
If you find yourself having suicidal thoughts, seek help immediately. Call or text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. You owe it not only to your kids to stay safe, but also to yourself. You have value, even if you can’t always see it, and there is a place for you in the world.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understanding Depression in Moms\\n1-1. Women are twice as likely as men to experience depression.\\n1 in 10 women report symptoms of a major depressive episode each year. Motherhood is often stressful and comes with several hormonal shifts. This chronic stress can lead to depression over time.\\nResearch has shown that 1 in 8 mothers experience postpartum depression during pregnancy and soon after giving birth.\\nIf you’re experiencing a depressive episode, it’s helpful to track when your symptoms started. You may be affected by perimenopausal depression, where symptoms appear before menopause.\\nYou might also be living with another kind of depression, such as Seasonal Affective Disorder, where depression is tied to the time of year. Knowing the timing of your depressive episodes can help you plan for them in advance.\\nDepression is also common after birth, usually due to the amount of pressure on the new mom so that everything regarding the baby is perfect.\\n1-2. Each woman experiences different symptoms of depression.\\nThe following symptoms are common signs of depression. You may not have all of them, but if several describe you, you may be experiencing depression:\\nA persistent feeling of sadness or emptiness\\nIrritability\\nFatigue\\nWaking up too early or oversleeping\\nA loss of pleasure in hobbies or activities\\nAches and cramps with no clear cause\\nChanges in appetite\\nMoving and talking more slowly\\nPersistent thoughts of death or suicide\\n1-3. Women experience different depression symptoms than men.\\nAlthough depression in men is often associated with aggressive and risk-taking behavior as well as substance abuse, women are more likely to experience depression as a feeling of overwhelming sadness and a lack of pleasure.\\n1-4. Some women may confuse depression with anxiety.\\nAlthough these illnesses commonly occur together, unlike depression, anxiety is associated with persistent and severe worrying, obsession over worst-case scenarios, and feeling restless or physically agitated. \\nAlthough most people experience some anxiety, if these symptoms have begun to seriously interfere with your daily life, you may have generalized anxiety disorder.\\nThe desire to have everything be perfect for the new child can lead to sadness and anxiety when new moms do not perceive themselves to be doing everything correctly.\\n2. Managing Depression Symptoms at Home\\n2-1. Stay in touch with friends and family.\\nAlthough depression can make you want to withdraw from your social life, staying connected can improve your mood. When you feel low, call someone you trust for a friendly conversation.\\nYou don’t have to open up about your depression symptoms if you don’t want to, although you should feel free to do so. Remember that your friends and family are there to support you, but if you’d prefer to chat about a more light-hearted topic, this can also make you feel better.\\n2-2. Get some sunlight.\\nDuring daylight hours, try to spend at least 15 minutes a day outdoors. Sunlight can boost your serotonin levels and improve your mood. You can also increase the amount of sunlight you’re exposed to indoors by sitting near windows and opening your blinds and drapes.\\nIf you live in an area where there isn’t much sunlight in the winter, try getting a light therapy box.\\n2-3. Practice a daily relaxation technique.\\nYoga, deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness exercises can keep you mentally strong. Doing a relaxation technique every day can relieve the symptoms of depression and boost your sense of well-being.\\n2-4. Keep yourself active.\\nExercise can really help raise your mood and alleviate the symptoms of depression. It’s okay if you haven’t exercised in a while—you don’t need to be a world-class athlete. Start by walking for 20 minutes every day.\\nFinding a fitness partner can give you the motivation to stay active. Ask a friend if they’d like to start going on walks or to the gym together.\\n2-5. Fight off your negative thoughts.\\nDepression can lead you into cycles of unhealthy thinking. But you have the power to challenge these thoughts and take back control over your mental health. When you find yourself spiraling down a path of self-doubt, self-criticism, and sadness, ask yourself:\\n“What’s the evidence that this thought is true?”\\n“What would I tell a friend if they told me they had this thought?”\\n“How might I think about this situation if I didn’t have depression?”\\n2-6. Limit your alcohol intake.\\nStudies have shown that consuming alcohol changes your brain chemistry and can put you at a higher risk for depressive symptoms. If you don’t want to avoid alcohol altogether, be sure you’re not drinking every day, and try not to drink to excess.\\n3. How Parental Depression Affects Kids\\n3-1. Be aware of some of the risks that come from having a depressed parent.\\nParental depression shapes a child’s experience of the world. Studies have shown that depressed mothers tend to be less emotionally responsive to their children, which can change how children act with others. Depression can also cause parents to isolate their families, and limit their child’s interactions with the world.\\nDon’t let this information discourage you. Living with depression doesn’t make you a bad mother. But being aware of some of the issues that can come up while parenting with depression can help you take steps to counterbalance them.\\n3-2. Be transparent about what you're going through if your child is older.\\nYou don’t have to appear invincible to be a good mom. Depending on the age and maturity of your child, it may be time to talk to them about what you’re going through. If your child is older, they may already be familiar with what depression is, and can be another source of support for you.\\nChildren are perceptive: they can tell when something is emotionally off-balance. By addressing your depression head-on with your child, you can teach them to trust their instincts, and help them make sense of something they probably already know.\\nOpen this conversation by saying something like, “You know I love you more than anything in the world, but sometimes I feel sorta sick, and it hurts me that I can’t always spend as much time with you as I want.”\\nAlways take care with the language used to convey your situation. For example, avoid using terms like \\\"suffering with depression\\\". It's better to say \\\"living with depression\\\". Remember that children tend to mirror the parents, so make a good example and remind them that this doesn't mean you're less than a person because of it.\\n3-3. Have as many conversations with your child as you need.\\nTry your best to express yourself, and remember you can always have another conversation later if you need to. You don’t need to cover everything during a single conversation.\\nIf you’re finding it too hard to talk to your child about this issue, then you can invite them to sit in on a therapy session with you. A trained professional can help you navigate this conversation.\\n3-4. Protect your child by encouraging their resiliency.\\nAll children will face negative experiences in their lives, but by developing your child’s resiliency, you can help them adjust to the difficulties that come from having a depressed caregiver. Research has shown that some ways to increase resiliency include:\\nBuilding a sense of self-efficacy and perceived control: let your child make decisions for themselves, so that they can feel in command over their own lives. For younger children, you can start by having them make smaller choices, like what to have for dinner.\\nProviding opportunities for self-reliance: let your child deal with conflicts at school or in other parts of their lives without your assistance. Step in only when there is a danger to their safety.\\nMobilizing sources of faith and cultural traditions: educate your child on traditions that they share with other people. By allowing them to feel tapped into a bigger network of people who share their values, they’ll feel more ready to take on the world.\\n4. Keeping on Top of Mom Duties\\n4-1. Create a list of ‘mom-stuff’ so you don’t lose track.\\nOften, depression can make us unable to meet our commitments. For example, children with depressed parents are often late for or miss school. Having a weekly list made in advance will help keep you on task.\\nWhen making your list, start by writing down any regular responsibilities you have, like doing laundry and making dinner. Then, add any special commitments you have, like going to your child’s sports event. As you finish each task, cross it off, and enjoy your feeling of well-earned accomplishment.\\nDon’t be afraid to delegate tasks if you don’t feel up to doing them. Reaching out to a partner, family member, friend, or even acquaintance, can help you manage your responsibilities when they come up. Remember that, although you are the mother, you don't have to do everything by yourself.\\n4-2. Join a mom’s group or reach out to nearby family and friends.\\nIt takes a village, especially when you’re depressed. The goal here is to find people who you and your children trust, so that you can share some of the load when it comes to raising your kids.\\nLoved ones who live far away can also be an important part of your support system. Keep in touch with friends and family, especially ones who are parents themselves, and can relate to your struggles.\\nIf you’re looking for another group of moms to help out with childcare duties, try talking to parents at your child’s school events. It can feel awkward at first, but chances are there are plenty of people there who are happy to help. You don’t need to disclose any of your depressive symptoms in order to ask for a helping hand.\\n4-3. Ask your children to help you if they can.\\nIf your children are old enough, they can do simple tasks to keep the household running or help you with your basic needs, like medication and dressing. Check in with them about their own mental health by asking them a question like, “How are you feeling on a scale of 1-10?” so that they don’t end up overburdening themselves.\\nBe sure that you balance their caring responsibilities with free time, and schedule time each week where your children can do nothing. This will keep them from feeling resentful over having too many ‘grown-up’ responsibilities.\\n4-4. Make your children feel special when you feel strong.\\nThis might mean taking them out on a special trip or treating them to a nice dinner. It could also mean just spending time with them at home, and being attentive when they talk about their days. Remember that even in the worst depressive episodes, there will always be some moments of relief.\\nDon’t take it personally if your children aren’t up to doing something adventurous when you want to. They might be busy themselves, or have their own stresses to work through. But when you feel good, try to spend that time with them in a meaningful way—you won’t regret it.\\nRemember that ‘good enough’ is fine. There is no need to be a perfect parent, and no one ever is. Often, depressed people put too much pressure on themselves, and feel like failures if they can’t meet their own expectations. Stay away from this kind of trap.\\n5. Treatment for Depression\\nSee a therapist soon if you aren't already.\\nBring up your anxieties around being a mom. A good therapist can provide a space for you to recover and heal. With science-backed techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), you can beat your depression, and get back to enjoying your life.\\nCBT is effective at helping depressed parents. By offering strategies to overcome the challenges that depression poses, you can regain a sense of control over your life.\\nYour therapist may decide to refer to you a psychiatrist for medical treatment. Many depressed parents use a combination of therapy and medication to allow them to be the best support for their kids that they can be.\\nIf you’re already on medication, be sure to make regular appointments with your doctor to mitigate any unwanted side effects. You deserve a treatment plan that allows you to live your life as easily and healthily as possible.\\nTips\\nMake a Wellness Recovery Action Plan and give copies to people you trust. In this document, you should include information like the numbers for your therapist and psychiatrist, phone numbers for friends and family who have been helpful in the past, and information on things that have helped you deal with a crisis in the past.\\nIf you find yourself having suicidal thoughts, seek help immediately. Call or text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. You owe it not only to your kids to stay safe, but also to yourself. You have value, even if you can’t always see it, and there is a place for you in the world.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being depressed doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. Living with depression can make the stresses of parenthood seem unbeatable. But these stresses can be overcome, and if you’re a mom who’s experiencing this now, know that you can make it through. You’re not alone, and many other parents are dealing with the same issues. We’re here to help you and provide some information that can help you be a good mom when depressed.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding Depression in Moms\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Women are twice as likely as men to experience depression.\", \"描述\": \"1 in 10 women report symptoms of a major depressive episode each year. Motherhood is often stressful and comes with several hormonal shifts. This chronic stress can lead to depression over time.\\nResearch has shown that 1 in 8 mothers experience postpartum depression during pregnancy and soon after giving birth.\\nIf you’re experiencing a depressive episode, it’s helpful to track when your symptoms started. You may be affected by perimenopausal depression, where symptoms appear before menopause.\\nYou might also be living with another kind of depression, such as Seasonal Affective Disorder, where depression is tied to the time of year. Knowing the timing of your depressive episodes can help you plan for them in advance.\\nDepression is also common after birth, usually due to the amount of pressure on the new mom so that everything regarding the baby is perfect.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Each woman experiences different symptoms of depression.\", \"描述\": \"The following symptoms are common signs of depression. You may not have all of them, but if several describe you, you may be experiencing depression:\\nA persistent feeling of sadness or emptiness\\nIrritability\\nFatigue\\nWaking up too early or oversleeping\\nA loss of pleasure in hobbies or activities\\nAches and cramps with no clear cause\\nChanges in appetite\\nMoving and talking more slowly\\nPersistent thoughts of death or suicide\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Women experience different depression symptoms than men.\", \"描述\": \"Although depression in men is often associated with aggressive and risk-taking behavior as well as substance abuse, women are more likely to experience depression as a feeling of overwhelming sadness and a lack of pleasure.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Some women may confuse depression with anxiety.\", \"描述\": \"Although these illnesses commonly occur together, unlike depression, anxiety is associated with persistent and severe worrying, obsession over worst-case scenarios, and feeling restless or physically agitated. \\nAlthough most people experience some anxiety, if these symptoms have begun to seriously interfere with your daily life, you may have generalized anxiety disorder.\\nThe desire to have everything be perfect for the new child can lead to sadness and anxiety when new moms do not perceive themselves to be doing everything correctly.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Managing Depression Symptoms at Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay in touch with friends and family.\", \"描述\": \"Although depression can make you want to withdraw from your social life, staying connected can improve your mood. When you feel low, call someone you trust for a friendly conversation.\\nYou don’t have to open up about your depression symptoms if you don’t want to, although you should feel free to do so. Remember that your friends and family are there to support you, but if you’d prefer to chat about a more light-hearted topic, this can also make you feel better.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get some sunlight.\", \"描述\": \"During daylight hours, try to spend at least 15 minutes a day outdoors. Sunlight can boost your serotonin levels and improve your mood. You can also increase the amount of sunlight you’re exposed to indoors by sitting near windows and opening your blinds and drapes.\\nIf you live in an area where there isn’t much sunlight in the winter, try getting a light therapy box.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice a daily relaxation technique.\", \"描述\": \"Yoga, deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness exercises can keep you mentally strong. Doing a relaxation technique every day can relieve the symptoms of depression and boost your sense of well-being.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep yourself active.\", \"描述\": \"Exercise can really help raise your mood and alleviate the symptoms of depression. It’s okay if you haven’t exercised in a while—you don’t need to be a world-class athlete. Start by walking for 20 minutes every day.\\nFinding a fitness partner can give you the motivation to stay active. Ask a friend if they’d like to start going on walks or to the gym together.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Fight off your negative thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Depression can lead you into cycles of unhealthy thinking. But you have the power to challenge these thoughts and take back control over your mental health. When you find yourself spiraling down a path of self-doubt, self-criticism, and sadness, ask yourself:\\n“What’s the evidence that this thought is true?”\\n“What would I tell a friend if they told me they had this thought?”\\n“How might I think about this situation if I didn’t have depression?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Limit your alcohol intake.\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that consuming alcohol changes your brain chemistry and can put you at a higher risk for depressive symptoms. If you don’t want to avoid alcohol altogether, be sure you’re not drinking every day, and try not to drink to excess.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"How Parental Depression Affects Kids\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be aware of some of the risks that come from having a depressed parent.\", \"描述\": \"Parental depression shapes a child’s experience of the world. Studies have shown that depressed mothers tend to be less emotionally responsive to their children, which can change how children act with others. Depression can also cause parents to isolate their families, and limit their child’s interactions with the world.\\nDon’t let this information discourage you. Living with depression doesn’t make you a bad mother. But being aware of some of the issues that can come up while parenting with depression can help you take steps to counterbalance them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be transparent about what you're going through if your child is older.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to appear invincible to be a good mom. Depending on the age and maturity of your child, it may be time to talk to them about what you’re going through. If your child is older, they may already be familiar with what depression is, and can be another source of support for you.\\nChildren are perceptive: they can tell when something is emotionally off-balance. By addressing your depression head-on with your child, you can teach them to trust their instincts, and help them make sense of something they probably already know.\\nOpen this conversation by saying something like, “You know I love you more than anything in the world, but sometimes I feel sorta sick, and it hurts me that I can’t always spend as much time with you as I want.”\\nAlways take care with the language used to convey your situation. For example, avoid using terms like \\\"suffering with depression\\\". It's better to say \\\"living with depression\\\". Remember that children tend to mirror the parents, so make a good example and remind them that this doesn't mean you're less than a person because of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have as many conversations with your child as you need.\", \"描述\": \"Try your best to express yourself, and remember you can always have another conversation later if you need to. You don’t need to cover everything during a single conversation.\\nIf you’re finding it too hard to talk to your child about this issue, then you can invite them to sit in on a therapy session with you. A trained professional can help you navigate this conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Protect your child by encouraging their resiliency.\", \"描述\": \"All children will face negative experiences in their lives, but by developing your child’s resiliency, you can help them adjust to the difficulties that come from having a depressed caregiver. Research has shown that some ways to increase resiliency include:\\nBuilding a sense of self-efficacy and perceived control: let your child make decisions for themselves, so that they can feel in command over their own lives. For younger children, you can start by having them make smaller choices, like what to have for dinner.\\nProviding opportunities for self-reliance: let your child deal with conflicts at school or in other parts of their lives without your assistance. Step in only when there is a danger to their safety.\\nMobilizing sources of faith and cultural traditions: educate your child on traditions that they share with other people. By allowing them to feel tapped into a bigger network of people who share their values, they’ll feel more ready to take on the world.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keeping on Top of Mom Duties\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a list of ‘mom-stuff’ so you don’t lose track.\", \"描述\": \"Often, depression can make us unable to meet our commitments. For example, children with depressed parents are often late for or miss school. Having a weekly list made in advance will help keep you on task.\\nWhen making your list, start by writing down any regular responsibilities you have, like doing laundry and making dinner. Then, add any special commitments you have, like going to your child’s sports event. As you finish each task, cross it off, and enjoy your feeling of well-earned accomplishment.\\nDon’t be afraid to delegate tasks if you don’t feel up to doing them. Reaching out to a partner, family member, friend, or even acquaintance, can help you manage your responsibilities when they come up. Remember that, although you are the mother, you don't have to do everything by yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a mom’s group or reach out to nearby family and friends.\", \"描述\": \"It takes a village, especially when you’re depressed. The goal here is to find people who you and your children trust, so that you can share some of the load when it comes to raising your kids.\\nLoved ones who live far away can also be an important part of your support system. Keep in touch with friends and family, especially ones who are parents themselves, and can relate to your struggles.\\nIf you’re looking for another group of moms to help out with childcare duties, try talking to parents at your child’s school events. It can feel awkward at first, but chances are there are plenty of people there who are happy to help. You don’t need to disclose any of your depressive symptoms in order to ask for a helping hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask your children to help you if they can.\", \"描述\": \"If your children are old enough, they can do simple tasks to keep the household running or help you with your basic needs, like medication and dressing. Check in with them about their own mental health by asking them a question like, “How are you feeling on a scale of 1-10?” so that they don’t end up overburdening themselves.\\nBe sure that you balance their caring responsibilities with free time, and schedule time each week where your children can do nothing. This will keep them from feeling resentful over having too many ‘grown-up’ responsibilities.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make your children feel special when you feel strong.\", \"描述\": \"This might mean taking them out on a special trip or treating them to a nice dinner. It could also mean just spending time with them at home, and being attentive when they talk about their days. Remember that even in the worst depressive episodes, there will always be some moments of relief.\\nDon’t take it personally if your children aren’t up to doing something adventurous when you want to. They might be busy themselves, or have their own stresses to work through. But when you feel good, try to spend that time with them in a meaningful way—you won’t regret it.\\nRemember that ‘good enough’ is fine. There is no need to be a perfect parent, and no one ever is. Often, depressed people put too much pressure on themselves, and feel like failures if they can’t meet their own expectations. Stay away from this kind of trap.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Treatment for Depression\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See a therapist soon if you aren't already.\", \"描述\": \"Bring up your anxieties around being a mom. A good therapist can provide a space for you to recover and heal. With science-backed techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), you can beat your depression, and get back to enjoying your life.\\nCBT is effective at helping depressed parents. By offering strategies to overcome the challenges that depression poses, you can regain a sense of control over your life.\\nYour therapist may decide to refer to you a psychiatrist for medical treatment. Many depressed parents use a combination of therapy and medication to allow them to be the best support for their kids that they can be.\\nIf you’re already on medication, be sure to make regular appointments with your doctor to mitigate any unwanted side effects. You deserve a treatment plan that allows you to live your life as easily and healthily as possible.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Make a Wellness Recovery Action Plan and give copies to people you trust. In this document, you should include information like the numbers for your therapist and psychiatrist, phone numbers for friends and family who have been helpful in the past, and information on things that have helped you deal with a crisis in the past.\\n\", \"If you find yourself having suicidal thoughts, seek help immediately. Call or text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. You owe it not only to your kids to stay safe, but also to yourself. You have value, even if you can’t always see it, and there is a place for you in the world.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,484 |
How to Be a Good Mother
|
1. Show affection often.
Dish out plenty of love in the form of hugs, kisses, and praise.
Affection reminds your child that they are loved unconditionally. Plus, it’s linked to higher self-esteem, better academic performance, fewer behavioral problems, and an overall stronger relationship between you and your child.
Make sure most of the interactions you have with your children are positive and loving. Strive to show affection daily.
If you have a baby, affection may simply involve holding your infant regularly or speaking reassuringly.
2. Spend time with your kids one-on-one.
Quality time is important for building strong relationships.
If you have multiple children, make an effort to hang out with each one on their own instead of as a group. Even short windows of time can strengthen the bond between you two.
If you're dealing with a baby or toddler, one-on-one time might include getting down on the floor and playing with them.
For an older child, try doing a hobby with them, like baking, hiking, or doing arts and crafts.
3. Show your support.
Validate your child’s interests to help them feel worthy.
Even if it’s not exactly what you’d choose for yourself, nurturing their interests can help boost your kid’s self esteem and make them feel confident in their own life. Their interests may come and go, so be prepared to shift gears fairly often.
If your teenager has joined a band, give some positive feedback about the songs they write.
If your preteen is obsessed with space, buy them books or take them on a trip to the planetarium.
4. Love your children unconditionally.
It will help your children feel confident in themselves and in you.
Even if your child messes up or you have to discipline them, let them know that you still love them. As a parent, your job is to love your child for who they are, not for who you wish they were.
Try to avoid criticizing or blaming your child for their mistakes. Instead, focus on what they can do better next time.
5. Set clear, firm rules.
Communicate with your kids about what’s okay and what isn’t.
Hold a family meeting to verbalize the guidelines and be sure everyone understands the consequences if they don’t comply. Then, post a cheat sheet of the rules in a common area, like on the fridge.
Make rules clear and concise but with a positive spin, like “Everyone should walk indoors” instead of “No running in the house!”
Depending on the age of your children, you might have an open discussion with them to decide on fair rules and consequences together. You might start trying to do this once your child is able to work out for themselves some consequences to misbehavior.
6. Follow through with consequences.
You made the rules, and your children have to follow them.
You don’t have to be a stickler for discipline—if someone comes home 5 minutes after curfew, you can let it slide. However, make sure you enforce the rules that you’ve set up so your kids know you mean business.
Disciplining your children for rule-breaking doesn’t necessarily translate to being mean. Criticize the behavior rather than the child. This might sound like, “Isaiah, what should you do instead of pushing Charlie? Because you pushed, you’ll have to wait 5 more minutes before taking a turn to show how patient you can be.”
Make sure the consequences feel logical. For example, if your child watches too much TV and didn’t finish their homework, consider limiting their screen time.
7. Try to practice what you preach.
Think about the example that you’re setting for your children.
If you tell them not to lie, you shouldn’t tell lies either. If you often talk about the importance of healthy eating, try to stick to a balanced diet. Kids are more likely to follow the rules if you follow them, too.
This also includes modeling things like being a hard worker and not using drugs or alcohol.
8. Admit when you were wrong.
You’re not going to be a perfect mom, and that’s okay.
When you admit your mistakes and apologize for them, you show your children that you respect them as human beings. Admitting your own wrongdoing shows your kids that there’s nothing to be ashamed of about mistakes—as long as they fess up and try to make amends.
For instance, if you accidentally compare one kid to another, acknowledge that it was wrong by saying, “Jeff, I want to apologize to you. I compared you to your brother yesterday and I shouldn’t have. Each of you is special with your own qualities. Will you please forgive me?”
9. Split responsibilities with your co-parent.
Good moms don't try to do it all on their own.
If you're parenting with a spouse or partner, ask them to share the load with you. If you're overwhelmed, request that they take on more duties, so you can rest. You might also give them specific tasks to do so that you're not bogged down.
This might sound like, "Sweetie, I haven't slept well in days. Do you mind putting the kids to bed tonight so I can turn in early?"
If you don’t have a co-parent, that’s okay. Try to lean on your support system, like a good friend or family member, for help.
10. Model healthy relationships.
Show your children how to treat people appropriately.
Whether you’re with your spouse, co-parent, family members, friends, or strangers, you should always treat people with respect and kindness. Let your kids know what it means to be a good friend or partner, and show them how you actively listen, compromise, and share with others.
Use teachable moments when you and your spouse disagree (on lighter matters) to show your kids how to work through conflicts.
11. Take time for yourself.
You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking a break every now and then.
It sends a message to your kids about the importance of managing stress and caring for oneself. Plus, spending time apart helps you decompress and helps them learn to do things on their own.
Being stressed out affects your children, so carve out time for self-care daily. This might be unwinding with a long soak and a book each evening, or enjoying a quiet cup of coffee before the kids rise every morning. Just remember to take care of you!
Don't be afraid to tell your children that you're taking some time to yourself. Explain self-care to them and ask them what they do for self-care. This will build a healthy habit in your children.
12. Try deep-breathing in times of stress.
Parenting comes with a lot of high stress situations.
If you ever feel yourself about to lose your cool, stop and take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. It might also help to count to 10 before you react to a situation. If you calm yourself down first, you can work on figuring out a solution without blowing up.
Meditation and yoga can also help you lower your stress levels throughout the day.
13. Lean on your support group.
Friends and family members can help out when you’re overwhelmed.
If you need to, reach out to a close friend or a family member to simply chat or get out of the house. You can also join a mom group in your local community to connect with others who also have kids.
Meet the moms of your kids’ friends at school, at church, or on the playground to make new friends.
It’s equally important to connect with others as a human being, not only as a mom! Hang out with friends, go on dates, and cherish your familial relationships, too.
Tips
Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Having a support system is really important, especially right after you bring your baby home.[14]
X
Expert Source
Lisa Greaves Taylor, CCCE, LCCE, CD (DONA)Certified Doula & Childbirth Educator
Expert Interview. 25 August 2020.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Show affection often.\\nDish out plenty of love in the form of hugs, kisses, and praise.\\nAffection reminds your child that they are loved unconditionally. Plus, it’s linked to higher self-esteem, better academic performance, fewer behavioral problems, and an overall stronger relationship between you and your child.\\nMake sure most of the interactions you have with your children are positive and loving. Strive to show affection daily.\\nIf you have a baby, affection may simply involve holding your infant regularly or speaking reassuringly.\\n2. Spend time with your kids one-on-one.\\nQuality time is important for building strong relationships.\\nIf you have multiple children, make an effort to hang out with each one on their own instead of as a group. Even short windows of time can strengthen the bond between you two.\\nIf you're dealing with a baby or toddler, one-on-one time might include getting down on the floor and playing with them.\\nFor an older child, try doing a hobby with them, like baking, hiking, or doing arts and crafts.\\n3. Show your support.\\nValidate your child’s interests to help them feel worthy.\\nEven if it’s not exactly what you’d choose for yourself, nurturing their interests can help boost your kid’s self esteem and make them feel confident in their own life. Their interests may come and go, so be prepared to shift gears fairly often.\\nIf your teenager has joined a band, give some positive feedback about the songs they write.\\nIf your preteen is obsessed with space, buy them books or take them on a trip to the planetarium.\\n4. Love your children unconditionally.\\nIt will help your children feel confident in themselves and in you.\\nEven if your child messes up or you have to discipline them, let them know that you still love them. As a parent, your job is to love your child for who they are, not for who you wish they were.\\nTry to avoid criticizing or blaming your child for their mistakes. Instead, focus on what they can do better next time.\\n5. Set clear, firm rules.\\nCommunicate with your kids about what’s okay and what isn’t.\\nHold a family meeting to verbalize the guidelines and be sure everyone understands the consequences if they don’t comply. Then, post a cheat sheet of the rules in a common area, like on the fridge.\\n\\nMake rules clear and concise but with a positive spin, like “Everyone should walk indoors” instead of “No running in the house!”\\nDepending on the age of your children, you might have an open discussion with them to decide on fair rules and consequences together. You might start trying to do this once your child is able to work out for themselves some consequences to misbehavior.\\n6. Follow through with consequences.\\nYou made the rules, and your children have to follow them.\\nYou don’t have to be a stickler for discipline—if someone comes home 5 minutes after curfew, you can let it slide. However, make sure you enforce the rules that you’ve set up so your kids know you mean business.\\nDisciplining your children for rule-breaking doesn’t necessarily translate to being mean. Criticize the behavior rather than the child. This might sound like, “Isaiah, what should you do instead of pushing Charlie? Because you pushed, you’ll have to wait 5 more minutes before taking a turn to show how patient you can be.”\\nMake sure the consequences feel logical. For example, if your child watches too much TV and didn’t finish their homework, consider limiting their screen time.\\n7. Try to practice what you preach.\\nThink about the example that you’re setting for your children.\\nIf you tell them not to lie, you shouldn’t tell lies either. If you often talk about the importance of healthy eating, try to stick to a balanced diet. Kids are more likely to follow the rules if you follow them, too.\\nThis also includes modeling things like being a hard worker and not using drugs or alcohol.\\n8. Admit when you were wrong.\\nYou’re not going to be a perfect mom, and that’s okay.\\nWhen you admit your mistakes and apologize for them, you show your children that you respect them as human beings. Admitting your own wrongdoing shows your kids that there’s nothing to be ashamed of about mistakes—as long as they fess up and try to make amends.\\nFor instance, if you accidentally compare one kid to another, acknowledge that it was wrong by saying, “Jeff, I want to apologize to you. I compared you to your brother yesterday and I shouldn’t have. Each of you is special with your own qualities. Will you please forgive me?”\\n9. Split responsibilities with your co-parent.\\nGood moms don't try to do it all on their own.\\nIf you're parenting with a spouse or partner, ask them to share the load with you. If you're overwhelmed, request that they take on more duties, so you can rest. You might also give them specific tasks to do so that you're not bogged down.\\nThis might sound like, \\\"Sweetie, I haven't slept well in days. Do you mind putting the kids to bed tonight so I can turn in early?\\\"\\nIf you don’t have a co-parent, that’s okay. Try to lean on your support system, like a good friend or family member, for help.\\n10. Model healthy relationships.\\nShow your children how to treat people appropriately.\\nWhether you’re with your spouse, co-parent, family members, friends, or strangers, you should always treat people with respect and kindness. Let your kids know what it means to be a good friend or partner, and show them how you actively listen, compromise, and share with others.\\nUse teachable moments when you and your spouse disagree (on lighter matters) to show your kids how to work through conflicts.\\n11. Take time for yourself.\\nYou shouldn’t feel guilty about taking a break every now and then.\\nIt sends a message to your kids about the importance of managing stress and caring for oneself. Plus, spending time apart helps you decompress and helps them learn to do things on their own.\\nBeing stressed out affects your children, so carve out time for self-care daily. This might be unwinding with a long soak and a book each evening, or enjoying a quiet cup of coffee before the kids rise every morning. Just remember to take care of you!\\nDon't be afraid to tell your children that you're taking some time to yourself. Explain self-care to them and ask them what they do for self-care. This will build a healthy habit in your children.\\n12. Try deep-breathing in times of stress.\\nParenting comes with a lot of high stress situations.\\nIf you ever feel yourself about to lose your cool, stop and take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. It might also help to count to 10 before you react to a situation. If you calm yourself down first, you can work on figuring out a solution without blowing up.\\nMeditation and yoga can also help you lower your stress levels throughout the day.\\n13. Lean on your support group.\\nFriends and family members can help out when you’re overwhelmed.\\nIf you need to, reach out to a close friend or a family member to simply chat or get out of the house. You can also join a mom group in your local community to connect with others who also have kids.\\nMeet the moms of your kids’ friends at school, at church, or on the playground to make new friends.\\nIt’s equally important to connect with others as a human being, not only as a mom! Hang out with friends, go on dates, and cherish your familial relationships, too.\\nTips\\nDon't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Having a support system is really important, especially right after you bring your baby home.[14]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLisa Greaves Taylor, CCCE, LCCE, CD (DONA)Certified Doula & Childbirth Educator\\nExpert Interview. 25 August 2020.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The definition of a good mother varies depending on who you ask. However, most people agree that the most important thing is to love your children and make sure they feel loved. There aren’t any set rules for how to be a mom, but there are some guidelines you can use to parent your children in a loving way.\\n\\nHere are 13 ways you can be a more supportive, loving mother.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show affection often.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dish out plenty of love in the form of hugs, kisses, and praise.\", \"描述\": \"Affection reminds your child that they are loved unconditionally. Plus, it’s linked to higher self-esteem, better academic performance, fewer behavioral problems, and an overall stronger relationship between you and your child.\\nMake sure most of the interactions you have with your children are positive and loving. Strive to show affection daily.\\nIf you have a baby, affection may simply involve holding your infant regularly or speaking reassuringly.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time with your kids one-on-one.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Quality time is important for building strong relationships.\", \"描述\": \"If you have multiple children, make an effort to hang out with each one on their own instead of as a group. Even short windows of time can strengthen the bond between you two.\\nIf you're dealing with a baby or toddler, one-on-one time might include getting down on the floor and playing with them.\\nFor an older child, try doing a hobby with them, like baking, hiking, or doing arts and crafts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show your support.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Validate your child’s interests to help them feel worthy.\", \"描述\": \"Even if it’s not exactly what you’d choose for yourself, nurturing their interests can help boost your kid’s self esteem and make them feel confident in their own life. Their interests may come and go, so be prepared to shift gears fairly often.\\nIf your teenager has joined a band, give some positive feedback about the songs they write.\\nIf your preteen is obsessed with space, buy them books or take them on a trip to the planetarium.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Love your children unconditionally.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It will help your children feel confident in themselves and in you.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your child messes up or you have to discipline them, let them know that you still love them. As a parent, your job is to love your child for who they are, not for who you wish they were.\\nTry to avoid criticizing or blaming your child for their mistakes. Instead, focus on what they can do better next time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set clear, firm rules.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicate with your kids about what’s okay and what isn’t.\", \"描述\": \"Hold a family meeting to verbalize the guidelines and be sure everyone understands the consequences if they don’t comply. Then, post a cheat sheet of the rules in a common area, like on the fridge.\\n\\nMake rules clear and concise but with a positive spin, like “Everyone should walk indoors” instead of “No running in the house!”\\nDepending on the age of your children, you might have an open discussion with them to decide on fair rules and consequences together. You might start trying to do this once your child is able to work out for themselves some consequences to misbehavior.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Follow through with consequences.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You made the rules, and your children have to follow them.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to be a stickler for discipline—if someone comes home 5 minutes after curfew, you can let it slide. However, make sure you enforce the rules that you’ve set up so your kids know you mean business.\\nDisciplining your children for rule-breaking doesn’t necessarily translate to being mean. Criticize the behavior rather than the child. This might sound like, “Isaiah, what should you do instead of pushing Charlie? Because you pushed, you’ll have to wait 5 more minutes before taking a turn to show how patient you can be.”\\nMake sure the consequences feel logical. For example, if your child watches too much TV and didn’t finish their homework, consider limiting their screen time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try to practice what you preach.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about the example that you’re setting for your children.\", \"描述\": \"If you tell them not to lie, you shouldn’t tell lies either. If you often talk about the importance of healthy eating, try to stick to a balanced diet. Kids are more likely to follow the rules if you follow them, too.\\nThis also includes modeling things like being a hard worker and not using drugs or alcohol.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Admit when you were wrong.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You’re not going to be a perfect mom, and that’s okay.\", \"描述\": \"When you admit your mistakes and apologize for them, you show your children that you respect them as human beings. Admitting your own wrongdoing shows your kids that there’s nothing to be ashamed of about mistakes—as long as they fess up and try to make amends.\\nFor instance, if you accidentally compare one kid to another, acknowledge that it was wrong by saying, “Jeff, I want to apologize to you. I compared you to your brother yesterday and I shouldn’t have. Each of you is special with your own qualities. Will you please forgive me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Split responsibilities with your co-parent.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Good moms don't try to do it all on their own.\", \"描述\": \"If you're parenting with a spouse or partner, ask them to share the load with you. If you're overwhelmed, request that they take on more duties, so you can rest. You might also give them specific tasks to do so that you're not bogged down.\\nThis might sound like, \\\"Sweetie, I haven't slept well in days. Do you mind putting the kids to bed tonight so I can turn in early?\\\"\\nIf you don’t have a co-parent, that’s okay. Try to lean on your support system, like a good friend or family member, for help.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Model healthy relationships.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show your children how to treat people appropriately.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re with your spouse, co-parent, family members, friends, or strangers, you should always treat people with respect and kindness. Let your kids know what it means to be a good friend or partner, and show them how you actively listen, compromise, and share with others.\\nUse teachable moments when you and your spouse disagree (on lighter matters) to show your kids how to work through conflicts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Take time for yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking a break every now and then.\", \"描述\": \"It sends a message to your kids about the importance of managing stress and caring for oneself. Plus, spending time apart helps you decompress and helps them learn to do things on their own.\\nBeing stressed out affects your children, so carve out time for self-care daily. This might be unwinding with a long soak and a book each evening, or enjoying a quiet cup of coffee before the kids rise every morning. Just remember to take care of you!\\nDon't be afraid to tell your children that you're taking some time to yourself. Explain self-care to them and ask them what they do for self-care. This will build a healthy habit in your children.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Try deep-breathing in times of stress.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Parenting comes with a lot of high stress situations.\", \"描述\": \"If you ever feel yourself about to lose your cool, stop and take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. It might also help to count to 10 before you react to a situation. If you calm yourself down first, you can work on figuring out a solution without blowing up.\\nMeditation and yoga can also help you lower your stress levels throughout the day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Lean on your support group.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Friends and family members can help out when you’re overwhelmed.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to, reach out to a close friend or a family member to simply chat or get out of the house. You can also join a mom group in your local community to connect with others who also have kids.\\nMeet the moms of your kids’ friends at school, at church, or on the playground to make new friends.\\nIt’s equally important to connect with others as a human being, not only as a mom! Hang out with friends, go on dates, and cherish your familial relationships, too.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Having a support system is really important, especially right after you bring your baby home.[14]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLisa Greaves Taylor, CCCE, LCCE, CD (DONA)Certified Doula & Childbirth Educator\\nExpert Interview. 25 August 2020.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,485 |
How to Be a Good Musician
|
1. Learn music theory.
A strong foundation makes all the difference.
Music theory can change the way you write/play music. It opens up your mind to all the different possibilities and options you have. Music theory is also universal, most musicians should know it. It will make things easier to explain. For example, telling someone to play a C major chord is easier than telling them where to put each finger.
2. Improve your rhythm.
Mastering your sense of rhythm can elevate your playing skills.
Keeping time is very important whether you’re playing with other people, or playing by yourself. Having bad rhythm will make the piece of music sound bad even if you are playing the right notes. You don't have to be metronomic, but as long as you can keep a tempo without speeding up or slowing down that's OK.
3. Play with other people.
The more practice time you get, the better you’ll be.
Playing with other people will force you to stay on time. It will also give you experience and make you more confident in your abilities. And above all playing with other people is a lot more fun then playing by yourself. Joining a band will also be very beneficial.
4. Learn multiple instruments.
This will help broaden your horizons and musical understanding.
If a guitar player was to start playing bass guitar, the guitarist would then start to realize the role of bass guitar. So the next time the guitarist has to write a bassline, the guitarist will have a better understanding of how to write a more effective one.
5. Play in front of others.
Performing for an audience is the best way to test your skills.
Performing requires you to know the music that you are playing inside out in the event that something goes wrong. Most performances require you to memorize your pieces. Having a good memory will benefit you because you always know what to play. It will also allow you to have more confidence in your talents and music.
6. Express yourself.
Allow yourself to innovate and break the rules .
It's one thing to learn the notes and rhythm, but it's another to express the music. This is probably the hardest thing to do, because expression is different for everyone. Try picking a slow song; they tend to have a lot of hidden meaning within the notes. After you get used to slow songs, try faster ones; they're a little harder because you need good speed, timing, and accurate articulation. But remember, too much expression will make you sound a little corny.
Tips
Record yourself playing and listen to find any mistakes you are unaware you are making
Have a main instrument. Though you should know more than one, have one main instrument that is your strongest.
When you are performing on the stage. Feel the music inside let the audience see you enjoy what you do. Don't just go there and stand like a statue follow the rhythm, if it's a sad song let it reflect on your face. Don't be crowd shy just go there and do your thing, carry the audience along show them you are good at what you do.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Learn music theory.\\nA strong foundation makes all the difference.\\nMusic theory can change the way you write/play music. It opens up your mind to all the different possibilities and options you have. Music theory is also universal, most musicians should know it. It will make things easier to explain. For example, telling someone to play a C major chord is easier than telling them where to put each finger.\\n2. Improve your rhythm.\\nMastering your sense of rhythm can elevate your playing skills.\\nKeeping time is very important whether you’re playing with other people, or playing by yourself. Having bad rhythm will make the piece of music sound bad even if you are playing the right notes. You don't have to be metronomic, but as long as you can keep a tempo without speeding up or slowing down that's OK.\\n3. Play with other people.\\nThe more practice time you get, the better you’ll be.\\nPlaying with other people will force you to stay on time. It will also give you experience and make you more confident in your abilities. And above all playing with other people is a lot more fun then playing by yourself. Joining a band will also be very beneficial.\\n4. Learn multiple instruments.\\nThis will help broaden your horizons and musical understanding.\\nIf a guitar player was to start playing bass guitar, the guitarist would then start to realize the role of bass guitar. So the next time the guitarist has to write a bassline, the guitarist will have a better understanding of how to write a more effective one.\\n5. Play in front of others.\\nPerforming for an audience is the best way to test your skills.\\nPerforming requires you to know the music that you are playing inside out in the event that something goes wrong. Most performances require you to memorize your pieces. Having a good memory will benefit you because you always know what to play. It will also allow you to have more confidence in your talents and music.\\n6. Express yourself.\\nAllow yourself to innovate and break the rules .\\nIt's one thing to learn the notes and rhythm, but it's another to express the music. This is probably the hardest thing to do, because expression is different for everyone. Try picking a slow song; they tend to have a lot of hidden meaning within the notes. After you get used to slow songs, try faster ones; they're a little harder because you need good speed, timing, and accurate articulation. But remember, too much expression will make you sound a little corny.\\nTips\\nRecord yourself playing and listen to find any mistakes you are unaware you are making\\nHave a main instrument. Though you should know more than one, have one main instrument that is your strongest.\\nWhen you are performing on the stage. Feel the music inside let the audience see you enjoy what you do. Don't just go there and stand like a statue follow the rhythm, if it's a sad song let it reflect on your face. Don't be crowd shy just go there and do your thing, carry the audience along show them you are good at what you do.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re looking to take your musical talents to the next level, you’re in the right place. Being a good musician is all about commitment and practice, and there’s no reason you can’t improve. So long as you’re willing to put the work in, you’ll be at the top of your field in no time. In this article, we’ll walk you through everything you’ll need to become the best musician you can be.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn music theory.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A strong foundation makes all the difference.\", \"描述\": \"Music theory can change the way you write/play music. It opens up your mind to all the different possibilities and options you have. Music theory is also universal, most musicians should know it. It will make things easier to explain. For example, telling someone to play a C major chord is easier than telling them where to put each finger.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improve your rhythm.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Mastering your sense of rhythm can elevate your playing skills.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping time is very important whether you’re playing with other people, or playing by yourself. Having bad rhythm will make the piece of music sound bad even if you are playing the right notes. You don't have to be metronomic, but as long as you can keep a tempo without speeding up or slowing down that's OK.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Play with other people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The more practice time you get, the better you’ll be.\", \"描述\": \"Playing with other people will force you to stay on time. It will also give you experience and make you more confident in your abilities. And above all playing with other people is a lot more fun then playing by yourself. Joining a band will also be very beneficial.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn multiple instruments.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This will help broaden your horizons and musical understanding.\", \"描述\": \"If a guitar player was to start playing bass guitar, the guitarist would then start to realize the role of bass guitar. So the next time the guitarist has to write a bassline, the guitarist will have a better understanding of how to write a more effective one.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Play in front of others.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Performing for an audience is the best way to test your skills.\", \"描述\": \"Performing requires you to know the music that you are playing inside out in the event that something goes wrong. Most performances require you to memorize your pieces. Having a good memory will benefit you because you always know what to play. It will also allow you to have more confidence in your talents and music.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Express yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Allow yourself to innovate and break the rules .\", \"描述\": \"It's one thing to learn the notes and rhythm, but it's another to express the music. This is probably the hardest thing to do, because expression is different for everyone. Try picking a slow song; they tend to have a lot of hidden meaning within the notes. After you get used to slow songs, try faster ones; they're a little harder because you need good speed, timing, and accurate articulation. But remember, too much expression will make you sound a little corny.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Record yourself playing and listen to find any mistakes you are unaware you are making\\n\", \"Have a main instrument. Though you should know more than one, have one main instrument that is your strongest.\\n\", \"When you are performing on the stage. Feel the music inside let the audience see you enjoy what you do. Don't just go there and stand like a statue follow the rhythm, if it's a sad song let it reflect on your face. Don't be crowd shy just go there and do your thing, carry the audience along show them you are good at what you do.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,486 |
How to Be a Good Neighbour
|
1. Being Respectful and Considerate
1-1. Maintain and clean any shared spaces.
If you live in a duplex, townhome, or apartment, you might end up sharing responsibility for a hallway, entrance, or yard with your neighbors. Do your part to keep these spaces as nice as possible by removing or carefully storing your personal items, such as bikes or grills. Pick up any trash that you see, too.
For example, to maintain a lawn space, talk with your neighbor about rotating mowing duties each week.
1-2. Care for your own yard and garden.
To avoid unsightly, overgrown grass, stick to a lawn maintenance schedule that includes regular mows throughout the year. In the fall, make sure to collect and dispose of your leaves. Trim back any trees or bushes and clean up any flowerbeds.
If you can’t do this maintenance on your own, consider hiring a professional lawn service.
1-3. Put your trash out at the right time and day.
To keep your neighbors happy and your home clean, take out your trash according to the local schedule. Also, use the correct trash containers and follow any restrictions regarding chemicals or oversized items. If trash day passes and you notice that a particular item has not been picked up, call waste services for your area to ask why it was left behind.
Most waste companies have very particular policies regarding what types of trash they will pick up and how it must be set out. For example, it may not be enough to simply place large branches by the curb of your house. You might need to cut and tie them into bundles.
Following the local trash rules also helps to cut down on the presence of pests and vermin, such as mice.
1-4. Keep your pets quiet and under control.
Closely follow all of your local laws regarding pet ownership. Have your animals fully vaccinated, licensed, and on a leash when in your front yard or neighborhood. If you have dogs, enroll them in training courses to curb outside barking and noisiness. If they persist in barking, then bring them inside.
Let your neighbors know that they can come talk with you if your pets are ever bothering them. For example, you might say, “If you ever hear my dog barking too much in the evenings, just let me know.”
If you are walking in your neighborhood, practice common courtesy by picking up your pet’s poop, too.
1-5. Follow your area’s noise regulations.
Go to your city’s webpage and look up the rules regarding noise. You’ll find that certain noises, such as loud home repairs, are restricted to particular hours of the day. Keep this in mind as you go about your daily life and try to avoid being disruptive, especially during early morning or evening hours.
If you live in an apartment complex, the leasing company will usually provide you with a list of community rules, which usually includes a statement about noise.
Go ahead and lower your noise level if you even think that you are being loud.
Use what you know about your neighbors to determine what is appropriate, too. For example, if you know that the person next door works nights, then take that into account and adjust your noise levels accordingly.
2. Getting to Know Your Neighbors
2-1. Introduce yourself
If you’ve recently moved in, go over to your neighbors and say “hello.” If you’ve lived in an area for a while, then take the initiative and reach out to new arrivals yourself. As part of welcoming someone to the area, feel free to offer them a small moving in gift.
For a more informal approach, say hi to your neighbors when they (or you) are outside walking their dog or working on their lawn.
When you first meet your neighbor you might say, “Hi! I’m Fred Thompson. I live 2 doors down from you and just wanted to come over and welcome you to the neighborhood.”
You can also give you neighbor any friendly local tips, such as what time the garbage or mail carrier stops by.
A welcoming gift can be anything from a friendly card to a basket filled with local foods or produce.
2-2. Do your neighbors a favor when possible.
If you see your neighbor struggling with a package, offer to help them. If you notice that they do not have a mower, offer to let them use yours for a bit. If you are helpful to your neighbors, don’t feel ashamed when you need to reach out for assistance as well.
For example, if your neighbor is going out of town, they might ask you to watch over their home. Then, when you take a trip, you can ask them to return the favor.
2-3. Attend and host neighborhood events and associations.
Invite a few of your neighbors over for a nice dinner or barbeque. Find out if your home makes you eligible to participate in a local community organization or watch group. If not, talk to your neighbors and create your own. These are great ways to get to know your neighbors whether you’ve been in the area for days or years.
For example, a community association could work together to put on a local street festival or even small dinners.
3. Communicating Openly with Your Neighbors
3-1. Stay calm when talking with your neighbor.
If your neighbor comes to you with a concern or problem, it’s important to respond calmly and rationally. If you start to get frustrated, take a few deep breaths before answering. You can also ask to postpone the conversation until you have a bit of time to think.
For example, to give yourself a few days to think everything over, you might say, “I understand where you are coming from, but I need to consider how to fix it on my end. Can we talk about this over the weekend again?”
3-2. Deal with any problems face to face.
If you have any issue that involves your neighbor, it’s important to act fast. Go to them directly and tell them what is going on. Ask for their help in finding a solution that will work for both of you. Giving your neighbor a chance to come up with a solution is better than immediately reaching out to local authorities.
This doesn’t necessarily apply if you feel as if the safety of you, your family, or the neighborhood is at stake. In those situations, you might want to reach out to local officials for assistance.
Avoid gossiping about any issues with your neighbor to other neighbors or people in the community. This only creates additional problems.
3-3. Give your neighbors notice before parties.
If you plan on having a large group of people come over, it never hurts to give your neighbors a heads up. This lets them determine if they’ll need to park elsewhere or move their cars for the night. It also alerts them that lots of ‘new’ people will be in the neighborhood and that it might get loud.
The same goes for any other large, loud gatherings, such as ongoing construction.
Tips
After a special event, such as the birth of a baby, it never hurts to give your neighbors a small, thoughtful gift.[10]
X
Research source
Mind your own business about personal matters. Do not gossip.
Warnings
No matter how much you try to establish a friendship with certain neighbors, it might not always happen. In these scenarios, try not to take it personally and instead focus on living next to one another peacefully.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Respectful and Considerate\\n1-1. Maintain and clean any shared spaces.\\nIf you live in a duplex, townhome, or apartment, you might end up sharing responsibility for a hallway, entrance, or yard with your neighbors. Do your part to keep these spaces as nice as possible by removing or carefully storing your personal items, such as bikes or grills. Pick up any trash that you see, too.\\nFor example, to maintain a lawn space, talk with your neighbor about rotating mowing duties each week.\\n1-2. Care for your own yard and garden.\\nTo avoid unsightly, overgrown grass, stick to a lawn maintenance schedule that includes regular mows throughout the year. In the fall, make sure to collect and dispose of your leaves. Trim back any trees or bushes and clean up any flowerbeds.\\nIf you can’t do this maintenance on your own, consider hiring a professional lawn service.\\n1-3. Put your trash out at the right time and day.\\nTo keep your neighbors happy and your home clean, take out your trash according to the local schedule. Also, use the correct trash containers and follow any restrictions regarding chemicals or oversized items. If trash day passes and you notice that a particular item has not been picked up, call waste services for your area to ask why it was left behind. \\nMost waste companies have very particular policies regarding what types of trash they will pick up and how it must be set out. For example, it may not be enough to simply place large branches by the curb of your house. You might need to cut and tie them into bundles.\\nFollowing the local trash rules also helps to cut down on the presence of pests and vermin, such as mice.\\n1-4. Keep your pets quiet and under control.\\nClosely follow all of your local laws regarding pet ownership. Have your animals fully vaccinated, licensed, and on a leash when in your front yard or neighborhood. If you have dogs, enroll them in training courses to curb outside barking and noisiness. If they persist in barking, then bring them inside.\\nLet your neighbors know that they can come talk with you if your pets are ever bothering them. For example, you might say, “If you ever hear my dog barking too much in the evenings, just let me know.”\\nIf you are walking in your neighborhood, practice common courtesy by picking up your pet’s poop, too.\\n1-5. Follow your area’s noise regulations.\\nGo to your city’s webpage and look up the rules regarding noise. You’ll find that certain noises, such as loud home repairs, are restricted to particular hours of the day. Keep this in mind as you go about your daily life and try to avoid being disruptive, especially during early morning or evening hours.\\nIf you live in an apartment complex, the leasing company will usually provide you with a list of community rules, which usually includes a statement about noise.\\nGo ahead and lower your noise level if you even think that you are being loud.\\nUse what you know about your neighbors to determine what is appropriate, too. For example, if you know that the person next door works nights, then take that into account and adjust your noise levels accordingly.\\n2. Getting to Know Your Neighbors\\n2-1. Introduce yourself\\nIf you’ve recently moved in, go over to your neighbors and say “hello.” If you’ve lived in an area for a while, then take the initiative and reach out to new arrivals yourself. As part of welcoming someone to the area, feel free to offer them a small moving in gift.\\nFor a more informal approach, say hi to your neighbors when they (or you) are outside walking their dog or working on their lawn.\\nWhen you first meet your neighbor you might say, “Hi! I’m Fred Thompson. I live 2 doors down from you and just wanted to come over and welcome you to the neighborhood.”\\nYou can also give you neighbor any friendly local tips, such as what time the garbage or mail carrier stops by.\\nA welcoming gift can be anything from a friendly card to a basket filled with local foods or produce.\\n2-2. Do your neighbors a favor when possible.\\nIf you see your neighbor struggling with a package, offer to help them. If you notice that they do not have a mower, offer to let them use yours for a bit. If you are helpful to your neighbors, don’t feel ashamed when you need to reach out for assistance as well.\\nFor example, if your neighbor is going out of town, they might ask you to watch over their home. Then, when you take a trip, you can ask them to return the favor.\\n2-3. Attend and host neighborhood events and associations.\\nInvite a few of your neighbors over for a nice dinner or barbeque. Find out if your home makes you eligible to participate in a local community organization or watch group. If not, talk to your neighbors and create your own. These are great ways to get to know your neighbors whether you’ve been in the area for days or years. \\nFor example, a community association could work together to put on a local street festival or even small dinners.\\n3. Communicating Openly with Your Neighbors\\n3-1. Stay calm when talking with your neighbor.\\nIf your neighbor comes to you with a concern or problem, it’s important to respond calmly and rationally. If you start to get frustrated, take a few deep breaths before answering. You can also ask to postpone the conversation until you have a bit of time to think.\\nFor example, to give yourself a few days to think everything over, you might say, “I understand where you are coming from, but I need to consider how to fix it on my end. Can we talk about this over the weekend again?”\\n3-2. Deal with any problems face to face.\\nIf you have any issue that involves your neighbor, it’s important to act fast. Go to them directly and tell them what is going on. Ask for their help in finding a solution that will work for both of you. Giving your neighbor a chance to come up with a solution is better than immediately reaching out to local authorities.\\nThis doesn’t necessarily apply if you feel as if the safety of you, your family, or the neighborhood is at stake. In those situations, you might want to reach out to local officials for assistance.\\nAvoid gossiping about any issues with your neighbor to other neighbors or people in the community. This only creates additional problems.\\n3-3. Give your neighbors notice before parties.\\nIf you plan on having a large group of people come over, it never hurts to give your neighbors a heads up. This lets them determine if they’ll need to park elsewhere or move their cars for the night. It also alerts them that lots of ‘new’ people will be in the neighborhood and that it might get loud.\\nThe same goes for any other large, loud gatherings, such as ongoing construction.\\nTips\\nAfter a special event, such as the birth of a baby, it never hurts to give your neighbors a small, thoughtful gift.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nMind your own business about personal matters. Do not gossip.\\nWarnings\\nNo matter how much you try to establish a friendship with certain neighbors, it might not always happen. In these scenarios, try not to take it personally and instead focus on living next to one another peacefully.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Getting along well with your neighbors makes your community a happier and safer place to live. The key to being a good neighbor is clear and consistent communication. Introduce yourself to your neighbors and then stay in contact over time. Try to be courteous by keeping your noise levels low and your yard well-maintained. If you want to go above and beyond, you could even participate in a neighborhood association or watch.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Respectful and Considerate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain and clean any shared spaces.\", \"描述\": \"If you live in a duplex, townhome, or apartment, you might end up sharing responsibility for a hallway, entrance, or yard with your neighbors. Do your part to keep these spaces as nice as possible by removing or carefully storing your personal items, such as bikes or grills. Pick up any trash that you see, too.\\nFor example, to maintain a lawn space, talk with your neighbor about rotating mowing duties each week.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Care for your own yard and garden.\", \"描述\": \"To avoid unsightly, overgrown grass, stick to a lawn maintenance schedule that includes regular mows throughout the year. In the fall, make sure to collect and dispose of your leaves. Trim back any trees or bushes and clean up any flowerbeds.\\nIf you can’t do this maintenance on your own, consider hiring a professional lawn service.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Put your trash out at the right time and day.\", \"描述\": \"To keep your neighbors happy and your home clean, take out your trash according to the local schedule. Also, use the correct trash containers and follow any restrictions regarding chemicals or oversized items. If trash day passes and you notice that a particular item has not been picked up, call waste services for your area to ask why it was left behind. \\nMost waste companies have very particular policies regarding what types of trash they will pick up and how it must be set out. For example, it may not be enough to simply place large branches by the curb of your house. You might need to cut and tie them into bundles.\\nFollowing the local trash rules also helps to cut down on the presence of pests and vermin, such as mice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your pets quiet and under control.\", \"描述\": \"Closely follow all of your local laws regarding pet ownership. Have your animals fully vaccinated, licensed, and on a leash when in your front yard or neighborhood. If you have dogs, enroll them in training courses to curb outside barking and noisiness. If they persist in barking, then bring them inside.\\nLet your neighbors know that they can come talk with you if your pets are ever bothering them. For example, you might say, “If you ever hear my dog barking too much in the evenings, just let me know.”\\nIf you are walking in your neighborhood, practice common courtesy by picking up your pet’s poop, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Follow your area’s noise regulations.\", \"描述\": \"Go to your city’s webpage and look up the rules regarding noise. You’ll find that certain noises, such as loud home repairs, are restricted to particular hours of the day. Keep this in mind as you go about your daily life and try to avoid being disruptive, especially during early morning or evening hours.\\nIf you live in an apartment complex, the leasing company will usually provide you with a list of community rules, which usually includes a statement about noise.\\nGo ahead and lower your noise level if you even think that you are being loud.\\nUse what you know about your neighbors to determine what is appropriate, too. For example, if you know that the person next door works nights, then take that into account and adjust your noise levels accordingly.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Your Neighbors\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve recently moved in, go over to your neighbors and say “hello.” If you’ve lived in an area for a while, then take the initiative and reach out to new arrivals yourself. As part of welcoming someone to the area, feel free to offer them a small moving in gift.\\nFor a more informal approach, say hi to your neighbors when they (or you) are outside walking their dog or working on their lawn.\\nWhen you first meet your neighbor you might say, “Hi! I’m Fred Thompson. I live 2 doors down from you and just wanted to come over and welcome you to the neighborhood.”\\nYou can also give you neighbor any friendly local tips, such as what time the garbage or mail carrier stops by.\\nA welcoming gift can be anything from a friendly card to a basket filled with local foods or produce.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do your neighbors a favor when possible.\", \"描述\": \"If you see your neighbor struggling with a package, offer to help them. If you notice that they do not have a mower, offer to let them use yours for a bit. If you are helpful to your neighbors, don’t feel ashamed when you need to reach out for assistance as well.\\nFor example, if your neighbor is going out of town, they might ask you to watch over their home. Then, when you take a trip, you can ask them to return the favor.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Attend and host neighborhood events and associations.\", \"描述\": \"Invite a few of your neighbors over for a nice dinner or barbeque. Find out if your home makes you eligible to participate in a local community organization or watch group. If not, talk to your neighbors and create your own. These are great ways to get to know your neighbors whether you’ve been in the area for days or years. \\nFor example, a community association could work together to put on a local street festival or even small dinners.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicating Openly with Your Neighbors\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay calm when talking with your neighbor.\", \"描述\": \"If your neighbor comes to you with a concern or problem, it’s important to respond calmly and rationally. If you start to get frustrated, take a few deep breaths before answering. You can also ask to postpone the conversation until you have a bit of time to think.\\nFor example, to give yourself a few days to think everything over, you might say, “I understand where you are coming from, but I need to consider how to fix it on my end. Can we talk about this over the weekend again?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Deal with any problems face to face.\", \"描述\": \"If you have any issue that involves your neighbor, it’s important to act fast. Go to them directly and tell them what is going on. Ask for their help in finding a solution that will work for both of you. Giving your neighbor a chance to come up with a solution is better than immediately reaching out to local authorities.\\nThis doesn’t necessarily apply if you feel as if the safety of you, your family, or the neighborhood is at stake. In those situations, you might want to reach out to local officials for assistance.\\nAvoid gossiping about any issues with your neighbor to other neighbors or people in the community. This only creates additional problems.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give your neighbors notice before parties.\", \"描述\": \"If you plan on having a large group of people come over, it never hurts to give your neighbors a heads up. This lets them determine if they’ll need to park elsewhere or move their cars for the night. It also alerts them that lots of ‘new’ people will be in the neighborhood and that it might get loud.\\nThe same goes for any other large, loud gatherings, such as ongoing construction.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"After a special event, such as the birth of a baby, it never hurts to give your neighbors a small, thoughtful gift.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Mind your own business about personal matters. Do not gossip.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"No matter how much you try to establish a friendship with certain neighbors, it might not always happen. In these scenarios, try not to take it personally and instead focus on living next to one another peacefully.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,487 |
How to Be a Good Nurse
|
1. Preparing Yourself to Be a Good Nurse
1-1. Think critically.
Nursing is a lot like a game of chess. It’s complex and you have to think several moves ahead. You need to be able to assess a patient critically to determine his medical needs, while taking multiple factors and potential outcomes into account.
Critical thinking is a process by which you review the situation, analyze what’s going on, and question what you don’t know. You can break the process down into 5 steps:
Step 1: Identify the goal, the problem, or the issue.
Step 2: Review and diagnose the goal, problem, or issue. What information do you have available about the goal, problem, or issue? Based on the information you have, what’s the best resolution?
Step 3: Explore your options. Think about what the resolutions may be, and how and who would actually achieve them.
Step 4: Actually carry out the resolution. Get it done.
Step 5: Reflect on your success or failure. What went well and what didn’t go so well? What can you do better or differently next time? How do we learn from this experience?
1-2. Communicate effectively.
Nurses need to be able to communicate with their patients in order to understand how their patients are feeling and what they are concerned about. Communicating effectively means you can listen well when someone else is speaking to you, and that you can speak clearly and concisely to someone else (e.g. patient, doctor, other nurses, family members, etc.). As a nurse you’re also likely to make a lot of notes whether in a physical chart or on the computer, therefore you must also be able to communicate effectively in writing as you may not be there in person to explain what you meant.
Keep in mind that you will be dealing with many different nationalities, including people who may not speak the same language as you or the doctor. Find out what services are available to the patient to help them communicate effectively — are there interpreters on staff? Are you aware of any cultural beliefs or practices that might interfere with their health?
As a good nurse you need to be able to listen to a doctor’s instructions and carry out those instructions quickly without needing to clarify every detail. In order to do this you need to be able to listen to the doctor in what is likely a fast-paced and hectic environment while you’re doing something else. At the same time, don't hesitate to ask questions to clarify what is needed. Doctors, just as nurses, need to communicate effectively. If it is not clear what the physician/provider is trying to relay, keep asking questions.
An exceptional nurse not only listens and carries out instruction, they advocate for their patients. Because of your excellent listening skills, you’ve developed an understanding of your patients, how they feel, and what they want. You should also understand that your patients may be a little intimidated speaking up and asking their doctor specific questions, or making requests. As their nurse, you may need to do the speaking up for your patients. Encourage your patient to write down questions that they want answered and that you know them as well to help facilitate questions. If the patient can not ask them, then ask the questions for your patient.
To learn more about being an effective communicator, you can read the following wikiHow article, How to Communicate Effectively.
1-3. Be detail-oriented.
Being detail-oriented means you pay attention to both the big stuff and the small stuff. When dealing with a patient, even the smallest anomaly or symptom can be a big deal, so you need to always be paying attention. Being detail-oriented means you ensure all your patients get the exact treatment they need, when they need it.
While not exactly the same, being detail-oriented has a lot to do with being organized. It’s easier to pay attention to the details when you are organized.
Detail-oriented also means being accurate. In the medical field you can’t estimate or guess at the amount of medication you give a patient, you need to be accurate. Your patient’s life may depend on it.
Being detail-oriented also means paying attention. Getting distracted or allowing your mind to wander will likely result in you missing something important. Because all details regarding your patient’s care are critical, you need to remain focused and on task at all times.
1-4. Organize efficiently.
Nurses, especially those working in a hospital, need to deal with multiple patients at the same time. Each patient has their own personal requirements that are critical to their well-being. Each patient also has his or her own personality and emotional needs. As a nurse you need to be able to organize yourself to keep track of who each of your patients are, what their treatments are, when they need their treatments, and the small details about the patient that will help them feel better (both physically and emotionally). Being able to organize yourself efficiently means being able to do the following things when needed:
Learning to say no. While you may not be able to say no very often at work, you can certainly say no in your personal life. Sometimes being able to clear out all the stuff you don’t really want to be doing will lower your stress level overall and help you become more focused when you’re at work.
Finding balance in your life. There is such a thing called caregiver burn out. Always ask yourself before accepting an extra shift: what the benefit it and what is the cost? If the cost is personal loss of perceived health, sleep, enjoyment, then the extra money is not worth it.
Asking for help. If you are new to the nursing field, you are going to need to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask, just ask. Once you’ve asked chances are you’re going to be able to move forward with what you need to do, and understand how to efficiently carry out that task the next time.
Prioritizing. Being organized means being able to prioritize all the tasks you have on your to do list. Knowing which ones are more important or which ones have the earliest due dates.
Spending your time wisely. Think about all the things you need to do in the next little while, and carry those tasks out efficiently. If you need to go to the storeroom for one thing, think about all the things you need in there over the next little while so you only have to make one trip. Don’t waste your time doing repetitive and unnecessary tasks.
1-5. Maintain physical stamina.
Most nurses will be on their feet for their entire shift, which can last 12 hours or more. Nurses may also need to restrain patients, help patients walk from one place to another, hold patients up, move patients to and from a bed or gurney, and other physically demanding tasks. If you aren’t up to the physical requirements of the job, you will likely be in a lot of pain at the end of a shift.
Personal health must be observed first — how can you advise health-related behavior if you do not observe it yourself?
Physical stamina isn’t just about being able to do physical activities, it’s about being able to do them over a long period of time, over and over again.
As a nurse you’re allowed to wear scrubs and comfortable shoes — take advantage of this. There is nothing worse than being on your feet for 12 hours in shoes that are really painful.
1-6. React and think quickly.
The medical profession in general isn’t the type of profession where you can always just sit back and "wait and see." In many cases, as a nurse, you’ll notice something and need to react to it quickly. You won’t always get the chance to pause and evaluate all the options and debate back and forth with another nurse as to the best course of action — sometimes you just need to act.
Being able to think and react quickly comes with experience and confidence. The more experience and confidence you gain, the faster your ability to react will become.
Thinking and reacting quickly can also include knowing when it’s time to get help from someone else ASAP. Don’t worry if you may be overreacting or if someone will have a bad opinion of you because you bothered them, those things aren’t important. Keep in mind that your patient’s well-being is always the most important thing and react quickly when that well-being is in jeopardy.
Reacting quickly doesn’t mean forgoing critical thinking; it means going through the critical thinking process quickly and carrying out your decision immediately.
2. Learning on the Job
2-1. Understand and have the ability to be compassionate.
One of a nurse's main jobs is to take direct care of patients. You’ll likely see these people at their worst. Nurses need to understand that their patients are human beings that are probably stressed, scared, depressed, upset, in pain, and confused. This understanding requires the ability to be compassionate and empathetic. Being able to put yourself in your patient’s shoes will help you understand what she's going through, and what she needs from you.
Often times, because a patient sees nurses most often, those nurses get the brunt of any anger the patient is feeling. Being compassionate and empathetic means you do not take this anger personally. Patients are likely sick or injured and not having a very good day! Understanding that some patients may need to release their anger in order to reduce their stress or fear is what being compassionate is all about.
In addition to patients, nurses often deal with the family and friends of their patients. Being compassionate and empathetic means being able to show those family members and friends that you truly do care about your patient and are doing your absolute best to help her.
The following six steps can help you learn to be a more compassionate person:
Step 1: Listen without judgement or formulating an immediate response. Try to understand the person's feelings, needs, and wants so that you can formulate a plan to best help her.
Step 2: Reply back to the speaker based on her emotions and not her words. For example, mean and angry words are likely a sign of someone who is scared or fearful.
Step 3: Make sure you have someone who is compassionate to you. This means having your own support system at or outside of work. If you have a million problems on your mind, it may be harder to care about the problems of others.
Step 4: Think about the whole person, not just who she is at that very moment. You’re going to see many people at their worst, but that’s not who they really are. Remember that there is much more to your patients than just what you see.
Step 5: Think about a time when you were in a similar situation. You may have an actual memory of your own you can borrow from, or you may simply need to imagine yourself in that situation. Think about all the emotions you went through (or would go through) and how you felt (or would feel) in that situation.
Step 6: Be able to forgive yourself for failure. In essence, have some compassion for yourself. You’re not going to be perfect. You’re going to make mistakes. But you’re human, and that’s normal. Don’t beat yourself up.
2-2. Have emotional stability.
Being a nurse means you’re going to see people at their very worst. You’ll likely have to take care of patients who are about to die. You may need to take care of patients in an extreme amount of pain. You may need to take care of patients who have just been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. Constantly being around people who are suffering can take an emotional toll on you. As a nurse you need to be able to control your emotions while you’re on the job, and not allow those emotions to cloud your judgement or slow your reaction time.
Being emotionally stable doesn’t mean keeping all your emotions bottled-up forever. It means knowing when the time is right for letting those emotions out. And allowing yourself that emotional release on a regular basis. Try exercise, time with friends, yoga, reading, and developing hobbies.
Emotional stability also doesn’t mean developing an ice-cold personality where you do not allow yourself to care about anything. You need to allow yourself to care about your patients in order to provide them with compassion and empathy.
Having, or being able to have, emotional stability may mean you have to do certain things outside of work so you’re able to control your emotions at work. One helpful way to develop stable emotions and have better control over your mood is to practice mindfulness. This means being in the moment without thinking about the past, the future, or anything judgmental.
2-3. Take responsibility.
Being a responsible nurse means not cutting any corners. Not allowing yourself to make an error, but if you do, making sure the proper people know about the error you made and making sure it’s corrected as soon as possible. Being responsible also means using your best judgement when evaluating a patients' needs and making good decisions that are in the best interests of your patients.
If you are a nurse that works in an emergency room or an operating room, or something similar, you also need to be responsible with your time. You need to understand that things do not always go as planed, and emergencies do not happen on a schedule that matches your shifts. A good nurse is prepared to work longer if necessary and understand that’s just part of the job.
2-4. Respect everyone
In addition to being compassionate, empathetic, and sympathetic to your patients and their needs, you also need to be respectful and non-judgemental about the decisions your patient has made in life. It is not up to you, as a nurse, to judge your patients. It is up to you to help them and make sure they leave you care in the best possible condition — regardless of how they may have ended up in your care in the first place. It also means not treating patients differently because of their backgrounds, ethnicity, or personality. A homeless man who is being treated for a drug overdose deserves just as much respect from you as a pregnant woman who has been hit by a car.
Being respectful of your patients also means being truthful with them. When communicating news — good or bad — you need to understand that the patient has the right to honesty. Be straight-forward with your patients, but do it respectfully and with compassion.
2-5. Keep calm under pressure and during a crisis.
Keeping calm means maintaining your level-headedness. It means having confidence in what you’re doing and the decisions you’re making. Your confidence will grow not only throughout your education, but the longer you’re on the job. And as such, your ability to remain calm will also improve. As a nurse, you can’t panic when something unexpected happens, and you can’t freeze up because you aren’t sure what to do.
When you’re first learning your job and there’s an emergency situation, a more experienced nurses may push you out of the way and take over. Do not take this personally or be upset. Use this moment to observe exactly what’s going on, what the nurse is doing and how, and the specific details that are driving the nurse’s decisions. Watching a more experienced nurse, especially in a crisis, can be one of your most useful learning experiences.
Find out if there are trainings offered to help you work through specific scenarios such as sudden cardiac arrest, respiratory arrest, or stroke. By attending these trainings, you can practice going through these steps in a less intense environment so that in the real situation, you will be able to work through it easier.
2-6. Adapt to new and constantly changing situations.
As a nurse no two days will ever be the same. While you may have some routine, it is likely that that routine will also change every now and again. No two patients are going to behave the same, even when they’re getting the exact same treatment. Nurses need to be adaptable and flexible. Nurses need to understand that their work environment and job requirements will change on a daily basis. Being flexible and adaptable, and just going with the flow, will not only help your day go smoother, it will help reduce the amount of stress you feel.
2-7. Improve your knowledge constantly.
Nurses, just like many professions, are constantly learning. Whether they learn through a formal classroom environment, or simply by observing, doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are constantly improving your knowledge and skills, and recognizing specific areas where you might need improvement. It also means receiving feedback from your peers and supervisors critically, and working with your supervisor and others to correct any deficiencies you have with your skills.
Tips
There is not a single skill you learn as a nurse that can’t be used effectively somewhere else. If you ever decide to move away from nursing, don’t consider you time as a nurse to be a waste. It’s actually quite the opposite. Use the skills you learned as a nurse and apply them to any other job you decide to take on.[20]
X
Research source
An excellent outline of what critical thinking is, and how to work to become a critical thinking, is available on the University of Kansas website at http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/analyze/analyze-community-problems-and-solutions/think-critically/main.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Yourself to Be a Good Nurse\\n1-1. Think critically.\\nNursing is a lot like a game of chess. It’s complex and you have to think several moves ahead. You need to be able to assess a patient critically to determine his medical needs, while taking multiple factors and potential outcomes into account.\\nCritical thinking is a process by which you review the situation, analyze what’s going on, and question what you don’t know. You can break the process down into 5 steps:\\nStep 1: Identify the goal, the problem, or the issue.\\nStep 2: Review and diagnose the goal, problem, or issue. What information do you have available about the goal, problem, or issue? Based on the information you have, what’s the best resolution?\\nStep 3: Explore your options. Think about what the resolutions may be, and how and who would actually achieve them.\\nStep 4: Actually carry out the resolution. Get it done.\\nStep 5: Reflect on your success or failure. What went well and what didn’t go so well? What can you do better or differently next time? How do we learn from this experience?\\n1-2. Communicate effectively.\\nNurses need to be able to communicate with their patients in order to understand how their patients are feeling and what they are concerned about. Communicating effectively means you can listen well when someone else is speaking to you, and that you can speak clearly and concisely to someone else (e.g. patient, doctor, other nurses, family members, etc.). As a nurse you’re also likely to make a lot of notes whether in a physical chart or on the computer, therefore you must also be able to communicate effectively in writing as you may not be there in person to explain what you meant.\\nKeep in mind that you will be dealing with many different nationalities, including people who may not speak the same language as you or the doctor. Find out what services are available to the patient to help them communicate effectively — are there interpreters on staff? Are you aware of any cultural beliefs or practices that might interfere with their health?\\nAs a good nurse you need to be able to listen to a doctor’s instructions and carry out those instructions quickly without needing to clarify every detail. In order to do this you need to be able to listen to the doctor in what is likely a fast-paced and hectic environment while you’re doing something else. At the same time, don't hesitate to ask questions to clarify what is needed. Doctors, just as nurses, need to communicate effectively. If it is not clear what the physician/provider is trying to relay, keep asking questions.\\nAn exceptional nurse not only listens and carries out instruction, they advocate for their patients. Because of your excellent listening skills, you’ve developed an understanding of your patients, how they feel, and what they want. You should also understand that your patients may be a little intimidated speaking up and asking their doctor specific questions, or making requests. As their nurse, you may need to do the speaking up for your patients. Encourage your patient to write down questions that they want answered and that you know them as well to help facilitate questions. If the patient can not ask them, then ask the questions for your patient.\\nTo learn more about being an effective communicator, you can read the following wikiHow article, How to Communicate Effectively.\\n1-3. Be detail-oriented.\\nBeing detail-oriented means you pay attention to both the big stuff and the small stuff. When dealing with a patient, even the smallest anomaly or symptom can be a big deal, so you need to always be paying attention. Being detail-oriented means you ensure all your patients get the exact treatment they need, when they need it.\\nWhile not exactly the same, being detail-oriented has a lot to do with being organized. It’s easier to pay attention to the details when you are organized.\\nDetail-oriented also means being accurate. In the medical field you can’t estimate or guess at the amount of medication you give a patient, you need to be accurate. Your patient’s life may depend on it.\\nBeing detail-oriented also means paying attention. Getting distracted or allowing your mind to wander will likely result in you missing something important. Because all details regarding your patient’s care are critical, you need to remain focused and on task at all times.\\n1-4. Organize efficiently.\\nNurses, especially those working in a hospital, need to deal with multiple patients at the same time. Each patient has their own personal requirements that are critical to their well-being. Each patient also has his or her own personality and emotional needs. As a nurse you need to be able to organize yourself to keep track of who each of your patients are, what their treatments are, when they need their treatments, and the small details about the patient that will help them feel better (both physically and emotionally). Being able to organize yourself efficiently means being able to do the following things when needed:\\nLearning to say no. While you may not be able to say no very often at work, you can certainly say no in your personal life. Sometimes being able to clear out all the stuff you don’t really want to be doing will lower your stress level overall and help you become more focused when you’re at work.\\nFinding balance in your life. There is such a thing called caregiver burn out. Always ask yourself before accepting an extra shift: what the benefit it and what is the cost? If the cost is personal loss of perceived health, sleep, enjoyment, then the extra money is not worth it.\\nAsking for help. If you are new to the nursing field, you are going to need to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask, just ask. Once you’ve asked chances are you’re going to be able to move forward with what you need to do, and understand how to efficiently carry out that task the next time.\\nPrioritizing. Being organized means being able to prioritize all the tasks you have on your to do list. Knowing which ones are more important or which ones have the earliest due dates.\\nSpending your time wisely. Think about all the things you need to do in the next little while, and carry those tasks out efficiently. If you need to go to the storeroom for one thing, think about all the things you need in there over the next little while so you only have to make one trip. Don’t waste your time doing repetitive and unnecessary tasks.\\n1-5. Maintain physical stamina.\\nMost nurses will be on their feet for their entire shift, which can last 12 hours or more. Nurses may also need to restrain patients, help patients walk from one place to another, hold patients up, move patients to and from a bed or gurney, and other physically demanding tasks. If you aren’t up to the physical requirements of the job, you will likely be in a lot of pain at the end of a shift.\\nPersonal health must be observed first — how can you advise health-related behavior if you do not observe it yourself?\\nPhysical stamina isn’t just about being able to do physical activities, it’s about being able to do them over a long period of time, over and over again.\\nAs a nurse you’re allowed to wear scrubs and comfortable shoes — take advantage of this. There is nothing worse than being on your feet for 12 hours in shoes that are really painful.\\n1-6. React and think quickly.\\nThe medical profession in general isn’t the type of profession where you can always just sit back and \\\"wait and see.\\\" In many cases, as a nurse, you’ll notice something and need to react to it quickly. You won’t always get the chance to pause and evaluate all the options and debate back and forth with another nurse as to the best course of action — sometimes you just need to act.\\nBeing able to think and react quickly comes with experience and confidence. The more experience and confidence you gain, the faster your ability to react will become.\\nThinking and reacting quickly can also include knowing when it’s time to get help from someone else ASAP. Don’t worry if you may be overreacting or if someone will have a bad opinion of you because you bothered them, those things aren’t important. Keep in mind that your patient’s well-being is always the most important thing and react quickly when that well-being is in jeopardy.\\nReacting quickly doesn’t mean forgoing critical thinking; it means going through the critical thinking process quickly and carrying out your decision immediately.\\n2. Learning on the Job\\n2-1. Understand and have the ability to be compassionate.\\nOne of a nurse's main jobs is to take direct care of patients. You’ll likely see these people at their worst. Nurses need to understand that their patients are human beings that are probably stressed, scared, depressed, upset, in pain, and confused. This understanding requires the ability to be compassionate and empathetic. Being able to put yourself in your patient’s shoes will help you understand what she's going through, and what she needs from you.\\nOften times, because a patient sees nurses most often, those nurses get the brunt of any anger the patient is feeling. Being compassionate and empathetic means you do not take this anger personally. Patients are likely sick or injured and not having a very good day! Understanding that some patients may need to release their anger in order to reduce their stress or fear is what being compassionate is all about.\\nIn addition to patients, nurses often deal with the family and friends of their patients. Being compassionate and empathetic means being able to show those family members and friends that you truly do care about your patient and are doing your absolute best to help her.\\nThe following six steps can help you learn to be a more compassionate person:\\nStep 1: Listen without judgement or formulating an immediate response. Try to understand the person's feelings, needs, and wants so that you can formulate a plan to best help her.\\nStep 2: Reply back to the speaker based on her emotions and not her words. For example, mean and angry words are likely a sign of someone who is scared or fearful.\\nStep 3: Make sure you have someone who is compassionate to you. This means having your own support system at or outside of work. If you have a million problems on your mind, it may be harder to care about the problems of others.\\nStep 4: Think about the whole person, not just who she is at that very moment. You’re going to see many people at their worst, but that’s not who they really are. Remember that there is much more to your patients than just what you see.\\nStep 5: Think about a time when you were in a similar situation. You may have an actual memory of your own you can borrow from, or you may simply need to imagine yourself in that situation. Think about all the emotions you went through (or would go through) and how you felt (or would feel) in that situation.\\nStep 6: Be able to forgive yourself for failure. In essence, have some compassion for yourself. You’re not going to be perfect. You’re going to make mistakes. But you’re human, and that’s normal. Don’t beat yourself up.\\n2-2. Have emotional stability.\\nBeing a nurse means you’re going to see people at their very worst. You’ll likely have to take care of patients who are about to die. You may need to take care of patients in an extreme amount of pain. You may need to take care of patients who have just been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. Constantly being around people who are suffering can take an emotional toll on you. As a nurse you need to be able to control your emotions while you’re on the job, and not allow those emotions to cloud your judgement or slow your reaction time.\\nBeing emotionally stable doesn’t mean keeping all your emotions bottled-up forever. It means knowing when the time is right for letting those emotions out. And allowing yourself that emotional release on a regular basis. Try exercise, time with friends, yoga, reading, and developing hobbies.\\nEmotional stability also doesn’t mean developing an ice-cold personality where you do not allow yourself to care about anything. You need to allow yourself to care about your patients in order to provide them with compassion and empathy.\\nHaving, or being able to have, emotional stability may mean you have to do certain things outside of work so you’re able to control your emotions at work. One helpful way to develop stable emotions and have better control over your mood is to practice mindfulness. This means being in the moment without thinking about the past, the future, or anything judgmental.\\n2-3. Take responsibility.\\nBeing a responsible nurse means not cutting any corners. Not allowing yourself to make an error, but if you do, making sure the proper people know about the error you made and making sure it’s corrected as soon as possible. Being responsible also means using your best judgement when evaluating a patients' needs and making good decisions that are in the best interests of your patients.\\nIf you are a nurse that works in an emergency room or an operating room, or something similar, you also need to be responsible with your time. You need to understand that things do not always go as planed, and emergencies do not happen on a schedule that matches your shifts. A good nurse is prepared to work longer if necessary and understand that’s just part of the job.\\n2-4. Respect everyone\\nIn addition to being compassionate, empathetic, and sympathetic to your patients and their needs, you also need to be respectful and non-judgemental about the decisions your patient has made in life. It is not up to you, as a nurse, to judge your patients. It is up to you to help them and make sure they leave you care in the best possible condition — regardless of how they may have ended up in your care in the first place. It also means not treating patients differently because of their backgrounds, ethnicity, or personality. A homeless man who is being treated for a drug overdose deserves just as much respect from you as a pregnant woman who has been hit by a car.\\nBeing respectful of your patients also means being truthful with them. When communicating news — good or bad — you need to understand that the patient has the right to honesty. Be straight-forward with your patients, but do it respectfully and with compassion.\\n2-5. Keep calm under pressure and during a crisis.\\nKeeping calm means maintaining your level-headedness. It means having confidence in what you’re doing and the decisions you’re making. Your confidence will grow not only throughout your education, but the longer you’re on the job. And as such, your ability to remain calm will also improve. As a nurse, you can’t panic when something unexpected happens, and you can’t freeze up because you aren’t sure what to do.\\nWhen you’re first learning your job and there’s an emergency situation, a more experienced nurses may push you out of the way and take over. Do not take this personally or be upset. Use this moment to observe exactly what’s going on, what the nurse is doing and how, and the specific details that are driving the nurse’s decisions. Watching a more experienced nurse, especially in a crisis, can be one of your most useful learning experiences.\\nFind out if there are trainings offered to help you work through specific scenarios such as sudden cardiac arrest, respiratory arrest, or stroke. By attending these trainings, you can practice going through these steps in a less intense environment so that in the real situation, you will be able to work through it easier.\\n2-6. Adapt to new and constantly changing situations.\\nAs a nurse no two days will ever be the same. While you may have some routine, it is likely that that routine will also change every now and again. No two patients are going to behave the same, even when they’re getting the exact same treatment. Nurses need to be adaptable and flexible. Nurses need to understand that their work environment and job requirements will change on a daily basis. Being flexible and adaptable, and just going with the flow, will not only help your day go smoother, it will help reduce the amount of stress you feel.\\n2-7. Improve your knowledge constantly.\\nNurses, just like many professions, are constantly learning. Whether they learn through a formal classroom environment, or simply by observing, doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are constantly improving your knowledge and skills, and recognizing specific areas where you might need improvement. It also means receiving feedback from your peers and supervisors critically, and working with your supervisor and others to correct any deficiencies you have with your skills.\\nTips\\nThere is not a single skill you learn as a nurse that can’t be used effectively somewhere else. If you ever decide to move away from nursing, don’t consider you time as a nurse to be a waste. It’s actually quite the opposite. Use the skills you learned as a nurse and apply them to any other job you decide to take on.[20]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nAn excellent outline of what critical thinking is, and how to work to become a critical thinking, is available on the University of Kansas website at http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/analyze/analyze-community-problems-and-solutions/think-critically/main.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a nurse is more than just getting your degree. Being a nurse requires you to have very specific skills in order to provide the best possible care to your patients, including the core attributes of genuine caring, nurturing, ability to teach, being health conscious and a good communicator. Being a good nurse means you excel at these skills and consider them essential to the work you do everyday. These skills can be developed in advance of a career in nursing, but you may not know your success performing some of these skills until you’re on the job.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Yourself to Be a Good Nurse\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think critically.\", \"描述\": \"Nursing is a lot like a game of chess. It’s complex and you have to think several moves ahead. You need to be able to assess a patient critically to determine his medical needs, while taking multiple factors and potential outcomes into account.\\nCritical thinking is a process by which you review the situation, analyze what’s going on, and question what you don’t know. You can break the process down into 5 steps:\\nStep 1: Identify the goal, the problem, or the issue.\\nStep 2: Review and diagnose the goal, problem, or issue. What information do you have available about the goal, problem, or issue? Based on the information you have, what’s the best resolution?\\nStep 3: Explore your options. Think about what the resolutions may be, and how and who would actually achieve them.\\nStep 4: Actually carry out the resolution. Get it done.\\nStep 5: Reflect on your success or failure. What went well and what didn’t go so well? What can you do better or differently next time? How do we learn from this experience?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicate effectively.\", \"描述\": \"Nurses need to be able to communicate with their patients in order to understand how their patients are feeling and what they are concerned about. Communicating effectively means you can listen well when someone else is speaking to you, and that you can speak clearly and concisely to someone else (e.g. patient, doctor, other nurses, family members, etc.). As a nurse you’re also likely to make a lot of notes whether in a physical chart or on the computer, therefore you must also be able to communicate effectively in writing as you may not be there in person to explain what you meant.\\nKeep in mind that you will be dealing with many different nationalities, including people who may not speak the same language as you or the doctor. Find out what services are available to the patient to help them communicate effectively — are there interpreters on staff? Are you aware of any cultural beliefs or practices that might interfere with their health?\\nAs a good nurse you need to be able to listen to a doctor’s instructions and carry out those instructions quickly without needing to clarify every detail. In order to do this you need to be able to listen to the doctor in what is likely a fast-paced and hectic environment while you’re doing something else. At the same time, don't hesitate to ask questions to clarify what is needed. Doctors, just as nurses, need to communicate effectively. If it is not clear what the physician/provider is trying to relay, keep asking questions.\\nAn exceptional nurse not only listens and carries out instruction, they advocate for their patients. Because of your excellent listening skills, you’ve developed an understanding of your patients, how they feel, and what they want. You should also understand that your patients may be a little intimidated speaking up and asking their doctor specific questions, or making requests. As their nurse, you may need to do the speaking up for your patients. Encourage your patient to write down questions that they want answered and that you know them as well to help facilitate questions. If the patient can not ask them, then ask the questions for your patient.\\nTo learn more about being an effective communicator, you can read the following wikiHow article, How to Communicate Effectively.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be detail-oriented.\", \"描述\": \"Being detail-oriented means you pay attention to both the big stuff and the small stuff. When dealing with a patient, even the smallest anomaly or symptom can be a big deal, so you need to always be paying attention. Being detail-oriented means you ensure all your patients get the exact treatment they need, when they need it.\\nWhile not exactly the same, being detail-oriented has a lot to do with being organized. It’s easier to pay attention to the details when you are organized.\\nDetail-oriented also means being accurate. In the medical field you can’t estimate or guess at the amount of medication you give a patient, you need to be accurate. Your patient’s life may depend on it.\\nBeing detail-oriented also means paying attention. Getting distracted or allowing your mind to wander will likely result in you missing something important. Because all details regarding your patient’s care are critical, you need to remain focused and on task at all times.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Organize efficiently.\", \"描述\": \"Nurses, especially those working in a hospital, need to deal with multiple patients at the same time. Each patient has their own personal requirements that are critical to their well-being. Each patient also has his or her own personality and emotional needs. As a nurse you need to be able to organize yourself to keep track of who each of your patients are, what their treatments are, when they need their treatments, and the small details about the patient that will help them feel better (both physically and emotionally). Being able to organize yourself efficiently means being able to do the following things when needed:\\nLearning to say no. While you may not be able to say no very often at work, you can certainly say no in your personal life. Sometimes being able to clear out all the stuff you don’t really want to be doing will lower your stress level overall and help you become more focused when you’re at work.\\nFinding balance in your life. There is such a thing called caregiver burn out. Always ask yourself before accepting an extra shift: what the benefit it and what is the cost? If the cost is personal loss of perceived health, sleep, enjoyment, then the extra money is not worth it.\\nAsking for help. If you are new to the nursing field, you are going to need to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask, just ask. Once you’ve asked chances are you’re going to be able to move forward with what you need to do, and understand how to efficiently carry out that task the next time.\\nPrioritizing. Being organized means being able to prioritize all the tasks you have on your to do list. Knowing which ones are more important or which ones have the earliest due dates.\\nSpending your time wisely. Think about all the things you need to do in the next little while, and carry those tasks out efficiently. If you need to go to the storeroom for one thing, think about all the things you need in there over the next little while so you only have to make one trip. Don’t waste your time doing repetitive and unnecessary tasks.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Maintain physical stamina.\", \"描述\": \"Most nurses will be on their feet for their entire shift, which can last 12 hours or more. Nurses may also need to restrain patients, help patients walk from one place to another, hold patients up, move patients to and from a bed or gurney, and other physically demanding tasks. If you aren’t up to the physical requirements of the job, you will likely be in a lot of pain at the end of a shift.\\nPersonal health must be observed first — how can you advise health-related behavior if you do not observe it yourself?\\nPhysical stamina isn’t just about being able to do physical activities, it’s about being able to do them over a long period of time, over and over again.\\nAs a nurse you’re allowed to wear scrubs and comfortable shoes — take advantage of this. There is nothing worse than being on your feet for 12 hours in shoes that are really painful.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"React and think quickly.\", \"描述\": \"The medical profession in general isn’t the type of profession where you can always just sit back and \\\"wait and see.\\\" In many cases, as a nurse, you’ll notice something and need to react to it quickly. You won’t always get the chance to pause and evaluate all the options and debate back and forth with another nurse as to the best course of action — sometimes you just need to act.\\nBeing able to think and react quickly comes with experience and confidence. The more experience and confidence you gain, the faster your ability to react will become.\\nThinking and reacting quickly can also include knowing when it’s time to get help from someone else ASAP. Don’t worry if you may be overreacting or if someone will have a bad opinion of you because you bothered them, those things aren’t important. Keep in mind that your patient’s well-being is always the most important thing and react quickly when that well-being is in jeopardy.\\nReacting quickly doesn’t mean forgoing critical thinking; it means going through the critical thinking process quickly and carrying out your decision immediately.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning on the Job\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand and have the ability to be compassionate.\", \"描述\": \"One of a nurse's main jobs is to take direct care of patients. You’ll likely see these people at their worst. Nurses need to understand that their patients are human beings that are probably stressed, scared, depressed, upset, in pain, and confused. This understanding requires the ability to be compassionate and empathetic. Being able to put yourself in your patient’s shoes will help you understand what she's going through, and what she needs from you.\\nOften times, because a patient sees nurses most often, those nurses get the brunt of any anger the patient is feeling. Being compassionate and empathetic means you do not take this anger personally. Patients are likely sick or injured and not having a very good day! Understanding that some patients may need to release their anger in order to reduce their stress or fear is what being compassionate is all about.\\nIn addition to patients, nurses often deal with the family and friends of their patients. Being compassionate and empathetic means being able to show those family members and friends that you truly do care about your patient and are doing your absolute best to help her.\\nThe following six steps can help you learn to be a more compassionate person:\\nStep 1: Listen without judgement or formulating an immediate response. Try to understand the person's feelings, needs, and wants so that you can formulate a plan to best help her.\\nStep 2: Reply back to the speaker based on her emotions and not her words. For example, mean and angry words are likely a sign of someone who is scared or fearful.\\nStep 3: Make sure you have someone who is compassionate to you. This means having your own support system at or outside of work. If you have a million problems on your mind, it may be harder to care about the problems of others.\\nStep 4: Think about the whole person, not just who she is at that very moment. You’re going to see many people at their worst, but that’s not who they really are. Remember that there is much more to your patients than just what you see.\\nStep 5: Think about a time when you were in a similar situation. You may have an actual memory of your own you can borrow from, or you may simply need to imagine yourself in that situation. Think about all the emotions you went through (or would go through) and how you felt (or would feel) in that situation.\\nStep 6: Be able to forgive yourself for failure. In essence, have some compassion for yourself. You’re not going to be perfect. You’re going to make mistakes. But you’re human, and that’s normal. Don’t beat yourself up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have emotional stability.\", \"描述\": \"Being a nurse means you’re going to see people at their very worst. You’ll likely have to take care of patients who are about to die. You may need to take care of patients in an extreme amount of pain. You may need to take care of patients who have just been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. Constantly being around people who are suffering can take an emotional toll on you. As a nurse you need to be able to control your emotions while you’re on the job, and not allow those emotions to cloud your judgement or slow your reaction time.\\nBeing emotionally stable doesn’t mean keeping all your emotions bottled-up forever. It means knowing when the time is right for letting those emotions out. And allowing yourself that emotional release on a regular basis. Try exercise, time with friends, yoga, reading, and developing hobbies.\\nEmotional stability also doesn’t mean developing an ice-cold personality where you do not allow yourself to care about anything. You need to allow yourself to care about your patients in order to provide them with compassion and empathy.\\nHaving, or being able to have, emotional stability may mean you have to do certain things outside of work so you’re able to control your emotions at work. One helpful way to develop stable emotions and have better control over your mood is to practice mindfulness. This means being in the moment without thinking about the past, the future, or anything judgmental.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"Being a responsible nurse means not cutting any corners. Not allowing yourself to make an error, but if you do, making sure the proper people know about the error you made and making sure it’s corrected as soon as possible. Being responsible also means using your best judgement when evaluating a patients' needs and making good decisions that are in the best interests of your patients.\\nIf you are a nurse that works in an emergency room or an operating room, or something similar, you also need to be responsible with your time. You need to understand that things do not always go as planed, and emergencies do not happen on a schedule that matches your shifts. A good nurse is prepared to work longer if necessary and understand that’s just part of the job.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respect everyone\", \"描述\": \"In addition to being compassionate, empathetic, and sympathetic to your patients and their needs, you also need to be respectful and non-judgemental about the decisions your patient has made in life. It is not up to you, as a nurse, to judge your patients. It is up to you to help them and make sure they leave you care in the best possible condition — regardless of how they may have ended up in your care in the first place. It also means not treating patients differently because of their backgrounds, ethnicity, or personality. A homeless man who is being treated for a drug overdose deserves just as much respect from you as a pregnant woman who has been hit by a car.\\nBeing respectful of your patients also means being truthful with them. When communicating news — good or bad — you need to understand that the patient has the right to honesty. Be straight-forward with your patients, but do it respectfully and with compassion.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep calm under pressure and during a crisis.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping calm means maintaining your level-headedness. It means having confidence in what you’re doing and the decisions you’re making. Your confidence will grow not only throughout your education, but the longer you’re on the job. And as such, your ability to remain calm will also improve. As a nurse, you can’t panic when something unexpected happens, and you can’t freeze up because you aren’t sure what to do.\\nWhen you’re first learning your job and there’s an emergency situation, a more experienced nurses may push you out of the way and take over. Do not take this personally or be upset. Use this moment to observe exactly what’s going on, what the nurse is doing and how, and the specific details that are driving the nurse’s decisions. Watching a more experienced nurse, especially in a crisis, can be one of your most useful learning experiences.\\nFind out if there are trainings offered to help you work through specific scenarios such as sudden cardiac arrest, respiratory arrest, or stroke. By attending these trainings, you can practice going through these steps in a less intense environment so that in the real situation, you will be able to work through it easier.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Adapt to new and constantly changing situations.\", \"描述\": \"As a nurse no two days will ever be the same. While you may have some routine, it is likely that that routine will also change every now and again. No two patients are going to behave the same, even when they’re getting the exact same treatment. Nurses need to be adaptable and flexible. Nurses need to understand that their work environment and job requirements will change on a daily basis. Being flexible and adaptable, and just going with the flow, will not only help your day go smoother, it will help reduce the amount of stress you feel.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Improve your knowledge constantly.\", \"描述\": \"Nurses, just like many professions, are constantly learning. Whether they learn through a formal classroom environment, or simply by observing, doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are constantly improving your knowledge and skills, and recognizing specific areas where you might need improvement. It also means receiving feedback from your peers and supervisors critically, and working with your supervisor and others to correct any deficiencies you have with your skills.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"There is not a single skill you learn as a nurse that can’t be used effectively somewhere else. If you ever decide to move away from nursing, don’t consider you time as a nurse to be a waste. It’s actually quite the opposite. Use the skills you learned as a nurse and apply them to any other job you decide to take on.[20]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"An excellent outline of what critical thinking is, and how to work to become a critical thinking, is available on the University of Kansas website at http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/analyze/analyze-community-problems-and-solutions/think-critically/main.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,488 |
How to Be a Good Observer
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1. Learning the Habits of an Observer
1-1. Know the difference between observing and looking.
Observing and looking require the use of the eyes. Many people use the terms interchangeably, but they are very different actions.
Looking is when you see things without the intent of using it later. You don't commit anything to memory or try to make meaning of what you see.
Observing is seeing what is around you and keeping it in your mind so you can make meaning out of it or pose questions about it.
Deduction is when you separate the important details from the unimportant ones after you have observed something. In deduction, you use your careful observation to come to a conclusion.
To practice observing, do a short meditation where you focus on each of your senses for 1 minute. Pay attention to what you're seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling. Doing this exercise will help you be more in-tune with your surroundings.
1-2. Be mindful of your surroundings.
A good observer takes in their surroundings instead of just taking them for granted. Look around yourself as you walk to the store or drive to work. You will start to notice things, like the same cars that take the same route to work or when the store on the corner has changed its display.
If you visit the same places every day, start paying closer attention to them. What do you notice about these places? What changes? What stays the same? Try to recall things about these places later to see how much you remember.
1-3. Pay attention to detail.
Start noticing the details of things you pass. Paying attention to things that might seem insignificant makes you conscious of your surroundings. This makes you a better observer. The more you purposefully notice things, the quicker it will become a habit.
What kind of trees are planted in front of your favorite coffee shop? What color shirt does your boss wear most often? What kind of cars are parked in the parking lot? How does the sound of your street differ at 7 a.m. versus 7 p.m.?
Notice minute details. When waiting in line at the post office, observe the condition of people's clothes and shoes. Watch what people order at a restaurant. Taking the time to pick up small details helps make you more observant.
1-4. Refrain from judgment.
To be a good observer, you must be neutral. Observations don't include personal feelings or judgment because those things are based on bias. When personal feelings, preconceived notions, and prejudices get involved, people don't see what is there. They see an object distorted by their perception. A good observer ignores their personal feelings and sees things for what they are.
To accomplish this, start by taking a step back. Remove yourself from the world around you. Instead of thinking about the negative experience you had with a certain dog breed, see the dog for what it is. Don't look at people who drive a certain kind of car in a certain way because you associate that car with a certain social class.
Staying neutral helps you see things for what they really are. The pit bull you are terrified of is playing with kittens and licking strangers in the park. The person driving the expensive car may work three jobs to pay for it.
1-5. Slow down.
To be a good observer, you must slow down. Rushing through your day leaves no time to observe the world around you. Try taking a certain amount of time every day to notice the world around you. Do new things or try to see familiar things through a new lens.
Try taking a picture every day. Not just any picture, though; take pictures of interesting things you see every day. This can help you work on noticing your surroundings and taking the time to observe what's around you.
Look at a new piece of art every day. Try to remember the model of the car that parks beside you every day. Try new foods and write down the details about the food. Give yourself time to observe the world around you.
2. Practicing Your Observation Skills
2-1. Improve your memory.
Part of being a good observer is remembering details. This includes remembering everything from locking your door before you leave your house to the color of the car you parked beside. Since our brains filter a lot of that irrelevant information out, make a conscious effort to start committing simple details to memory. It will help you improve your memory while making you a better observer of your surroundings.
As you leave your house, tell yourself, "I turned off the stove. I locked the door." This will help you commit it to memory. This technique also helps you start observing small, everyday tasks.
Use memory games like concentration. The memory skills you want to develop for strengthening observation skills are the ones connected to the senses. Sight is especially important. Show yourself pictures, then close your eyes and try to remember what you observed in the photo. Walk through the city and remembering what you smelled. Try to replay conversations from the day each evening to see how much of the dialog you can remember word for word.
2-2. Eliminate distractions.
One reason that people are not as observant as they should be is because they are distracted. Cell phones, music, a to-do list - there are a lot of reasons why people are distracted daily. Try getting rid of distractions so you can focus on your surroundings.
Remove your headphones when you walk or are on the train. Listen to the sounds around you, including conversations. Don't just look at the objects around you, consciously observe them. By not being distracted, you will be aware of everything around you and remember it more easily.
Focus on the television show or movie you are watching and listen closely to songs. Instead of mindlessly watching or listening, pay attention to them. Think about costuming choices in the show or movie, or why the director chose a particular way to set up a shot. Look at the props, especially the background, and see what you can observe and deduce about the characters, themes, or plot. Try to figure out the meaning of song lyrics as you listen.
2-3. Keep a field journal.
Observation is a very scientific approach to the world. By keeping a field journal, you are recording your observations. This can be about anything; the important thing is to observe everything around you and strengthen your observation skills.
Start by going to a park with a notebook. Jot down what you see around you. Make sure to note specifics, like the color of the shirts people are wearing, the birds flying overhead, the sounds. Begin trying to figure out what are important details and which details are not as important.
Use this field observation in other aspects of your life. How many times does the guy in the cubicle next to you get up to talk on his cell during the day? How many times does a customer pick up an item before they buy it? What color shirt do most people wear on the bus?
Take these observations and begin to draw conclusions. For example, customers don't pick up food items multiple times before buying them; they pick them up and set them on the counter. Customers pick up beauty products five times before making a decision to buy it. Your boss always wears a blue shirt on Mondays, and green shirt on Thursdays.
Use this journal to outline irregularities in your day. Think about irregular sounds or events that happen around you. Being a good observer means being able to pick out things that are out of the ordinary.
2-4. Form connections between what you see.
Part of observing is coming to conclusions. Practice observing the world and analyzing what that means. Don't just observe without doing anything with the information.
If you see a frazzled mother in a store with her teenage daughter, then spot college brochures inside her purse, you can come to the conclusion that she is stressed because her daughter is about to go to college.
If you see a man with a stain on his shirt, and then see the car seat in his backseat, you can conclude that the stain was a baby-related accident.
2-5. Meditate.
Meditation is a great exercise for strengthening observation skills. It helps you clear your mind of clutter and distractions so you can focus.
Spend 10-15 minutes a day relaxing. Get in a quiet room, or turn on quiet instrumental music. Breathe in and out and push all thoughts from your mind. Focus on everything around you, like the sounds and the smells.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Learning the Habits of an Observer\\n1-1. Know the difference between observing and looking.\\nObserving and looking require the use of the eyes. Many people use the terms interchangeably, but they are very different actions.\\nLooking is when you see things without the intent of using it later. You don't commit anything to memory or try to make meaning of what you see.\\nObserving is seeing what is around you and keeping it in your mind so you can make meaning out of it or pose questions about it.\\nDeduction is when you separate the important details from the unimportant ones after you have observed something. In deduction, you use your careful observation to come to a conclusion.\\nTo practice observing, do a short meditation where you focus on each of your senses for 1 minute. Pay attention to what you're seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling. Doing this exercise will help you be more in-tune with your surroundings.\\n1-2. Be mindful of your surroundings.\\nA good observer takes in their surroundings instead of just taking them for granted. Look around yourself as you walk to the store or drive to work. You will start to notice things, like the same cars that take the same route to work or when the store on the corner has changed its display.\\nIf you visit the same places every day, start paying closer attention to them. What do you notice about these places? What changes? What stays the same? Try to recall things about these places later to see how much you remember.\\n1-3. Pay attention to detail.\\nStart noticing the details of things you pass. Paying attention to things that might seem insignificant makes you conscious of your surroundings. This makes you a better observer. The more you purposefully notice things, the quicker it will become a habit.\\nWhat kind of trees are planted in front of your favorite coffee shop? What color shirt does your boss wear most often? What kind of cars are parked in the parking lot? How does the sound of your street differ at 7 a.m. versus 7 p.m.?\\nNotice minute details. When waiting in line at the post office, observe the condition of people's clothes and shoes. Watch what people order at a restaurant. Taking the time to pick up small details helps make you more observant.\\n1-4. Refrain from judgment.\\nTo be a good observer, you must be neutral. Observations don't include personal feelings or judgment because those things are based on bias. When personal feelings, preconceived notions, and prejudices get involved, people don't see what is there. They see an object distorted by their perception. A good observer ignores their personal feelings and sees things for what they are.\\nTo accomplish this, start by taking a step back. Remove yourself from the world around you. Instead of thinking about the negative experience you had with a certain dog breed, see the dog for what it is. Don't look at people who drive a certain kind of car in a certain way because you associate that car with a certain social class.\\nStaying neutral helps you see things for what they really are. The pit bull you are terrified of is playing with kittens and licking strangers in the park. The person driving the expensive car may work three jobs to pay for it.\\n1-5. Slow down.\\nTo be a good observer, you must slow down. Rushing through your day leaves no time to observe the world around you. Try taking a certain amount of time every day to notice the world around you. Do new things or try to see familiar things through a new lens.\\nTry taking a picture every day. Not just any picture, though; take pictures of interesting things you see every day. This can help you work on noticing your surroundings and taking the time to observe what's around you.\\nLook at a new piece of art every day. Try to remember the model of the car that parks beside you every day. Try new foods and write down the details about the food. Give yourself time to observe the world around you.\\n2. Practicing Your Observation Skills\\n2-1. Improve your memory.\\nPart of being a good observer is remembering details. This includes remembering everything from locking your door before you leave your house to the color of the car you parked beside. Since our brains filter a lot of that irrelevant information out, make a conscious effort to start committing simple details to memory. It will help you improve your memory while making you a better observer of your surroundings.\\nAs you leave your house, tell yourself, \\\"I turned off the stove. I locked the door.\\\" This will help you commit it to memory. This technique also helps you start observing small, everyday tasks.\\nUse memory games like concentration. The memory skills you want to develop for strengthening observation skills are the ones connected to the senses. Sight is especially important. Show yourself pictures, then close your eyes and try to remember what you observed in the photo. Walk through the city and remembering what you smelled. Try to replay conversations from the day each evening to see how much of the dialog you can remember word for word.\\n2-2. Eliminate distractions.\\nOne reason that people are not as observant as they should be is because they are distracted. Cell phones, music, a to-do list - there are a lot of reasons why people are distracted daily. Try getting rid of distractions so you can focus on your surroundings.\\nRemove your headphones when you walk or are on the train. Listen to the sounds around you, including conversations. Don't just look at the objects around you, consciously observe them. By not being distracted, you will be aware of everything around you and remember it more easily.\\nFocus on the television show or movie you are watching and listen closely to songs. Instead of mindlessly watching or listening, pay attention to them. Think about costuming choices in the show or movie, or why the director chose a particular way to set up a shot. Look at the props, especially the background, and see what you can observe and deduce about the characters, themes, or plot. Try to figure out the meaning of song lyrics as you listen.\\n2-3. Keep a field journal.\\nObservation is a very scientific approach to the world. By keeping a field journal, you are recording your observations. This can be about anything; the important thing is to observe everything around you and strengthen your observation skills.\\nStart by going to a park with a notebook. Jot down what you see around you. Make sure to note specifics, like the color of the shirts people are wearing, the birds flying overhead, the sounds. Begin trying to figure out what are important details and which details are not as important.\\nUse this field observation in other aspects of your life. How many times does the guy in the cubicle next to you get up to talk on his cell during the day? How many times does a customer pick up an item before they buy it? What color shirt do most people wear on the bus?\\nTake these observations and begin to draw conclusions. For example, customers don't pick up food items multiple times before buying them; they pick them up and set them on the counter. Customers pick up beauty products five times before making a decision to buy it. Your boss always wears a blue shirt on Mondays, and green shirt on Thursdays.\\nUse this journal to outline irregularities in your day. Think about irregular sounds or events that happen around you. Being a good observer means being able to pick out things that are out of the ordinary.\\n2-4. Form connections between what you see.\\nPart of observing is coming to conclusions. Practice observing the world and analyzing what that means. Don't just observe without doing anything with the information.\\nIf you see a frazzled mother in a store with her teenage daughter, then spot college brochures inside her purse, you can come to the conclusion that she is stressed because her daughter is about to go to college.\\nIf you see a man with a stain on his shirt, and then see the car seat in his backseat, you can conclude that the stain was a baby-related accident.\\n2-5. Meditate.\\nMeditation is a great exercise for strengthening observation skills. It helps you clear your mind of clutter and distractions so you can focus.\\nSpend 10-15 minutes a day relaxing. Get in a quiet room, or turn on quiet instrumental music. Breathe in and out and push all thoughts from your mind. Focus on everything around you, like the sounds and the smells.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Life can be so fast-paced and full of distractions that it’s easy to forget to slow down and really pay attention to what’s happening around you. But being present and observational can make your life more enjoyable, allow you to engage with people better, and help you notice things that you’ve always overlooked or taken for granted, and it's totally possible to become a better observer with practice. Below we’ve put together some tips that can help you get started!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learning the Habits of an Observer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know the difference between observing and looking.\", \"描述\": \"Observing and looking require the use of the eyes. Many people use the terms interchangeably, but they are very different actions.\\nLooking is when you see things without the intent of using it later. You don't commit anything to memory or try to make meaning of what you see.\\nObserving is seeing what is around you and keeping it in your mind so you can make meaning out of it or pose questions about it.\\nDeduction is when you separate the important details from the unimportant ones after you have observed something. In deduction, you use your careful observation to come to a conclusion.\\nTo practice observing, do a short meditation where you focus on each of your senses for 1 minute. Pay attention to what you're seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling. Doing this exercise will help you be more in-tune with your surroundings.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be mindful of your surroundings.\", \"描述\": \"A good observer takes in their surroundings instead of just taking them for granted. Look around yourself as you walk to the store or drive to work. You will start to notice things, like the same cars that take the same route to work or when the store on the corner has changed its display.\\nIf you visit the same places every day, start paying closer attention to them. What do you notice about these places? What changes? What stays the same? Try to recall things about these places later to see how much you remember.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to detail.\", \"描述\": \"Start noticing the details of things you pass. Paying attention to things that might seem insignificant makes you conscious of your surroundings. This makes you a better observer. The more you purposefully notice things, the quicker it will become a habit.\\nWhat kind of trees are planted in front of your favorite coffee shop? What color shirt does your boss wear most often? What kind of cars are parked in the parking lot? How does the sound of your street differ at 7 a.m. versus 7 p.m.?\\nNotice minute details. When waiting in line at the post office, observe the condition of people's clothes and shoes. Watch what people order at a restaurant. Taking the time to pick up small details helps make you more observant.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Refrain from judgment.\", \"描述\": \"To be a good observer, you must be neutral. Observations don't include personal feelings or judgment because those things are based on bias. When personal feelings, preconceived notions, and prejudices get involved, people don't see what is there. They see an object distorted by their perception. A good observer ignores their personal feelings and sees things for what they are.\\nTo accomplish this, start by taking a step back. Remove yourself from the world around you. Instead of thinking about the negative experience you had with a certain dog breed, see the dog for what it is. Don't look at people who drive a certain kind of car in a certain way because you associate that car with a certain social class.\\nStaying neutral helps you see things for what they really are. The pit bull you are terrified of is playing with kittens and licking strangers in the park. The person driving the expensive car may work three jobs to pay for it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Slow down.\", \"描述\": \"To be a good observer, you must slow down. Rushing through your day leaves no time to observe the world around you. Try taking a certain amount of time every day to notice the world around you. Do new things or try to see familiar things through a new lens.\\nTry taking a picture every day. Not just any picture, though; take pictures of interesting things you see every day. This can help you work on noticing your surroundings and taking the time to observe what's around you.\\nLook at a new piece of art every day. Try to remember the model of the car that parks beside you every day. Try new foods and write down the details about the food. Give yourself time to observe the world around you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practicing Your Observation Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improve your memory.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being a good observer is remembering details. This includes remembering everything from locking your door before you leave your house to the color of the car you parked beside. Since our brains filter a lot of that irrelevant information out, make a conscious effort to start committing simple details to memory. It will help you improve your memory while making you a better observer of your surroundings.\\nAs you leave your house, tell yourself, \\\"I turned off the stove. I locked the door.\\\" This will help you commit it to memory. This technique also helps you start observing small, everyday tasks.\\nUse memory games like concentration. The memory skills you want to develop for strengthening observation skills are the ones connected to the senses. Sight is especially important. Show yourself pictures, then close your eyes and try to remember what you observed in the photo. Walk through the city and remembering what you smelled. Try to replay conversations from the day each evening to see how much of the dialog you can remember word for word.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eliminate distractions.\", \"描述\": \"One reason that people are not as observant as they should be is because they are distracted. Cell phones, music, a to-do list - there are a lot of reasons why people are distracted daily. Try getting rid of distractions so you can focus on your surroundings.\\nRemove your headphones when you walk or are on the train. Listen to the sounds around you, including conversations. Don't just look at the objects around you, consciously observe them. By not being distracted, you will be aware of everything around you and remember it more easily.\\nFocus on the television show or movie you are watching and listen closely to songs. Instead of mindlessly watching or listening, pay attention to them. Think about costuming choices in the show or movie, or why the director chose a particular way to set up a shot. Look at the props, especially the background, and see what you can observe and deduce about the characters, themes, or plot. Try to figure out the meaning of song lyrics as you listen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep a field journal.\", \"描述\": \"Observation is a very scientific approach to the world. By keeping a field journal, you are recording your observations. This can be about anything; the important thing is to observe everything around you and strengthen your observation skills.\\nStart by going to a park with a notebook. Jot down what you see around you. Make sure to note specifics, like the color of the shirts people are wearing, the birds flying overhead, the sounds. Begin trying to figure out what are important details and which details are not as important.\\nUse this field observation in other aspects of your life. How many times does the guy in the cubicle next to you get up to talk on his cell during the day? How many times does a customer pick up an item before they buy it? What color shirt do most people wear on the bus?\\nTake these observations and begin to draw conclusions. For example, customers don't pick up food items multiple times before buying them; they pick them up and set them on the counter. Customers pick up beauty products five times before making a decision to buy it. Your boss always wears a blue shirt on Mondays, and green shirt on Thursdays.\\nUse this journal to outline irregularities in your day. Think about irregular sounds or events that happen around you. Being a good observer means being able to pick out things that are out of the ordinary.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Form connections between what you see.\", \"描述\": \"Part of observing is coming to conclusions. Practice observing the world and analyzing what that means. Don't just observe without doing anything with the information.\\nIf you see a frazzled mother in a store with her teenage daughter, then spot college brochures inside her purse, you can come to the conclusion that she is stressed because her daughter is about to go to college.\\nIf you see a man with a stain on his shirt, and then see the car seat in his backseat, you can conclude that the stain was a baby-related accident.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Meditate.\", \"描述\": \"Meditation is a great exercise for strengthening observation skills. It helps you clear your mind of clutter and distractions so you can focus.\\nSpend 10-15 minutes a day relaxing. Get in a quiet room, or turn on quiet instrumental music. Breathe in and out and push all thoughts from your mind. Focus on everything around you, like the sounds and the smells.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,489 |
How to Be a Good Online Boyfriend or Girlfriend
|
1. Steps
1-1. Take a good profile picture.
Of course the picture needs to be of you and not some actor that you think that they will find attractive, but you do need to take the time to make sure the picture shows you in the best possible light. As far as physical first impressions go your picture in your online profile is that first impression so be honest with it but make it your best impression possible.
1-2. Ask about their interests.
Make sure that you ask simple questions like "Oh, you have a band? What do you play?" like a normal conversation. Learn as much as you can about him. Online relationships are the same as normal relationships, so conversations shouldn't be much different.
1-3. Do not lie.
Lying in any relationship is bad. You don't want to get caught in it later or forget what you said because you will feel foolish and your relationship won't be strong because you won't trust each other.
1-4. Do not cheat.
Just because it is an online relationship, and it is easier to get away with cheating, does not mean you should cheat. It is not right by any means and it is not fair to the other person.
1-5. Do not stay with them if you do not feel comfortable with this relationship.
If they seem pressuring to meet and you do not want to, stand your ground. It's better to be safe than sorry.
1-6. Meet in a place with lots of people around when you both are comfortable.
This would include busy restaurants, busy shopping malls, and any other busy place you can go. Do not invite them to your home until your relationship is healthy, steady, and you have been with them for quite a while to ensure as much safety as possible.
Take friends with you on any meeting with someone you have only met online, even in a busy place.
1-7. Consider not meeting with them and keeping your relationship as a friendship.
1-8. Don’t take their word for it.
Some of these online dating websites are getting pretty sophisticated in the way they match up people but that does not mean that they cannot make mistakes. Another important dating tip is to always check someone out for yourself before you accept a date from them. Just because an emotionless computer thinks you may be a good match for someone does not mean that you are. Look their profile over and email them a few times before making the decision to meet.
2. After you have met
2-1. Send them small gifts.
Send small gifts such as chocolate, flowers, a card, etc. Send them to their place of work so they have something to cheer them up in the middle of the day. If they don't work, send them to their home. Don't make it too frequent, though, or they'll make it a habit of receiving those gifts.
2-2. Take them out on dates once in a while.
When you're not talking online, go out on dates if they live nearby. Take them out to the movies, or a fair going on nearby. Small dates do wonders for these types of relationships.
2-3. Don't get too attached.
Take a break every once in a while from talking to them. You don't need to be conversing 24/7 and make sure it does not interfere with work/school/etc.
2-4. Before you do anything in a cyber-relationship, be cautious!
Online predators are everywhere and you don't want to get caught up in a cell phone number instead, or your work number), never give out your address, and by all means, .
Don't feel that because you are male, you are not vulnerable; these precautions are for anyone contemplating such a relationship.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Take a good profile picture.\\nOf course the picture needs to be of you and not some actor that you think that they will find attractive, but you do need to take the time to make sure the picture shows you in the best possible light. As far as physical first impressions go your picture in your online profile is that first impression so be honest with it but make it your best impression possible.\\n1-2. Ask about their interests.\\nMake sure that you ask simple questions like \\\"Oh, you have a band? What do you play?\\\" like a normal conversation. Learn as much as you can about him. Online relationships are the same as normal relationships, so conversations shouldn't be much different.\\n1-3. Do not lie.\\nLying in any relationship is bad. You don't want to get caught in it later or forget what you said because you will feel foolish and your relationship won't be strong because you won't trust each other.\\n1-4. Do not cheat.\\nJust because it is an online relationship, and it is easier to get away with cheating, does not mean you should cheat. It is not right by any means and it is not fair to the other person.\\n1-5. Do not stay with them if you do not feel comfortable with this relationship.\\nIf they seem pressuring to meet and you do not want to, stand your ground. It's better to be safe than sorry.\\n1-6. Meet in a place with lots of people around when you both are comfortable.\\nThis would include busy restaurants, busy shopping malls, and any other busy place you can go. Do not invite them to your home until your relationship is healthy, steady, and you have been with them for quite a while to ensure as much safety as possible.\\nTake friends with you on any meeting with someone you have only met online, even in a busy place.\\n1-7. Consider not meeting with them and keeping your relationship as a friendship.\\n\\n1-8. Don’t take their word for it.\\nSome of these online dating websites are getting pretty sophisticated in the way they match up people but that does not mean that they cannot make mistakes. Another important dating tip is to always check someone out for yourself before you accept a date from them. Just because an emotionless computer thinks you may be a good match for someone does not mean that you are. Look their profile over and email them a few times before making the decision to meet.\\n2. After you have met\\n2-1. Send them small gifts.\\nSend small gifts such as chocolate, flowers, a card, etc. Send them to their place of work so they have something to cheer them up in the middle of the day. If they don't work, send them to their home. Don't make it too frequent, though, or they'll make it a habit of receiving those gifts.\\n2-2. Take them out on dates once in a while.\\nWhen you're not talking online, go out on dates if they live nearby. Take them out to the movies, or a fair going on nearby. Small dates do wonders for these types of relationships.\\n2-3. Don't get too attached.\\nTake a break every once in a while from talking to them. You don't need to be conversing 24/7 and make sure it does not interfere with work/school/etc.\\n2-4. Before you do anything in a cyber-relationship, be cautious!\\nOnline predators are everywhere and you don't want to get caught up in a cell phone number instead, or your work number), never give out your address, and by all means, .\\nDon't feel that because you are male, you are not vulnerable; these precautions are for anyone contemplating such a relationship.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you worried about your relationship over the internet? Being a good online boyfriend or girlfriend isn't all that different from being a good partner in person. Showing interest in your significant other's passions, making him or her feel comfortable, and being honest are all great ways to show your sweetie how much you care.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a good profile picture.\", \"描述\": \"Of course the picture needs to be of you and not some actor that you think that they will find attractive, but you do need to take the time to make sure the picture shows you in the best possible light. As far as physical first impressions go your picture in your online profile is that first impression so be honest with it but make it your best impression possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask about their interests.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you ask simple questions like \\\"Oh, you have a band? What do you play?\\\" like a normal conversation. Learn as much as you can about him. Online relationships are the same as normal relationships, so conversations shouldn't be much different.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do not lie.\", \"描述\": \"Lying in any relationship is bad. You don't want to get caught in it later or forget what you said because you will feel foolish and your relationship won't be strong because you won't trust each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do not cheat.\", \"描述\": \"Just because it is an online relationship, and it is easier to get away with cheating, does not mean you should cheat. It is not right by any means and it is not fair to the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do not stay with them if you do not feel comfortable with this relationship.\", \"描述\": \"If they seem pressuring to meet and you do not want to, stand your ground. It's better to be safe than sorry.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Meet in a place with lots of people around when you both are comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"This would include busy restaurants, busy shopping malls, and any other busy place you can go. Do not invite them to your home until your relationship is healthy, steady, and you have been with them for quite a while to ensure as much safety as possible.\\nTake friends with you on any meeting with someone you have only met online, even in a busy place.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Consider not meeting with them and keeping your relationship as a friendship.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don’t take their word for it.\", \"描述\": \"Some of these online dating websites are getting pretty sophisticated in the way they match up people but that does not mean that they cannot make mistakes. Another important dating tip is to always check someone out for yourself before you accept a date from them. Just because an emotionless computer thinks you may be a good match for someone does not mean that you are. Look their profile over and email them a few times before making the decision to meet.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"After you have met\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send them small gifts.\", \"描述\": \"Send small gifts such as chocolate, flowers, a card, etc. Send them to their place of work so they have something to cheer them up in the middle of the day. If they don't work, send them to their home. Don't make it too frequent, though, or they'll make it a habit of receiving those gifts.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take them out on dates once in a while.\", \"描述\": \"When you're not talking online, go out on dates if they live nearby. Take them out to the movies, or a fair going on nearby. Small dates do wonders for these types of relationships.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't get too attached.\", \"描述\": \"Take a break every once in a while from talking to them. You don't need to be conversing 24/7 and make sure it does not interfere with work/school/etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Before you do anything in a cyber-relationship, be cautious!\", \"描述\": \"Online predators are everywhere and you don't want to get caught up in a cell phone number instead, or your work number), never give out your address, and by all means, .\\nDon't feel that because you are male, you are not vulnerable; these precautions are for anyone contemplating such a relationship.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,490 |
How to Be a Good Online Roleplayer
|
1. Selecting a Universe
1-1. Pick a universe you know well.
Try to avoid joining a universe you've never heard about or don't like.
1-2. Do some general research into it before joining.
It is perfectly acceptable to create your own universe.
2. Creating a Character and Layout
2-1. Choose your favorite character, or make an original.
Try to avoid ripping off straight from the medium, but there's no profit being made in the game so it's generally acceptable.
2-2. Avoid powerplaying.
Many roleplayers hate seeing Godmodders.
God Mod is basically creating a character that can't ever be defeated, and is more powerful than anything in the universe. This can also be referred to as autoing in fights where all your hits connect and you never allow your character to be hit.
Godmodding can also be controlling another player's character. Which should be avoided without explicit permission.
Remember if your character gets killed off in a storyline you don't have to remove the character completely, unless you were playing for permanent death of whoever lost.
2-3. Make layouts that describe your character without being too flashy.
Don't make all of the layouts; ask others to make their own too.
3. Developing Behavior
3-1. Avoid using text talk.
Unless your character is texting someone in the play spell out the words.
3-2. Practice safe roleplay sex.
Never pressure or force anyone into a sex scene.
3-3. Don't one-line (unless it's a preference with someone you're roleplaying with).
Most people prefer at least a single paragraph, but some others allow one-lining. Just make sure you check the other person's preference (usually in the form of Roleplaying Rules in blogs) before trying to roleplay with others.
3-4. Don't steal anything, from anyone.
This includes layout designs, storyline ideas, pictures, display names, biographies, roleplaying rules, etc. Don't be afraid to ask someone if you can copy something, 9 times out of 10 they'll say "Yes," and they'll expect credit so whatever you borrowed from someone, make sure you write "Credit to: [name]" under whatever you took.
3-5. Be the nice guy/girl.
Accept constructive criticism, be nice, don't take things said in roleplay personally, make friends, chat up, etc. Be easy to get along with, and great roleplaying opportunities shall come your way.
3-6. Hang out in Chat zys.
If you want to start a Chatzy, don't be extremely strict about it. Ban people if they're being rude to other members, not if you just simply don't like them. Also, if someone is being mean to another person, don't back them up because you think it's funny.
Remember, not everyone in there is having as much fun as you, and don't act like you're entitled to do something and others that accidentally do the same thing you do are copycats. Be nice, and again, don't declare supreme power by giving certain people administrator rights and playing around with the rights with one or two other people. Be nice, courteous, don't single others out, and don't gang up on someone.
4. Owning the RPG
4-1. Be a responsible owner.
If you own an RPG, don't go mad with power. If you want to assign moderators of the group, don't let them all be other accounts you have control over, especially if no one knows that those accounts are you (that's called sock puppeteering).
4-2. Avoid appearing power hungry.
It's not fun if you get people to join only to declare supreme power over them, because that'll make you look like a control freak and it'll cause people to leave. Let the members of the group be independent and if they don't want to participate sometimes then let them be. Only talk to them if they turn down opportunities consistently.
Tips
Avoid permanent god-mode. Everyone hates it when someone goes like this: "Jack hurled the spear at a godly speed, since he was invincible. There was no escape as the spear tore through her." It's one thing to maybe once in a while to say, "The spear was thrown at a godly speed. An average man couldn't have dodged it. He waited, hoping the spear would hit its target." It's quite another to keep irritating everyone with constantly invincible powers. It gets boring quickly.
Join a fandom or role playing community that you know about. If you want to join a new one, read the books, watch the movies, play the games, etc. Don't just randomly join and have no idea what you're talking about.
Warnings
Don't start an RP only to reply only once or twice. People hate it when someone starts an RP, only to have that person reply a few times and move on.
Keep in mind that you're still on the Internet. Don't post things you're uncomfortable about posting (such as a real life blog letting everyone know who you are, your cell phone number, etc). Get to know someone really well before letting them add your Facebook or see what you really look like.
Don’t be a Mary-Sue (over-powered character) that has no weaknesses. No one likes it when a character can’t die.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Selecting a Universe\\n1-1. Pick a universe you know well.\\nTry to avoid joining a universe you've never heard about or don't like.\\n1-2. Do some general research into it before joining.\\nIt is perfectly acceptable to create your own universe.\\n2. Creating a Character and Layout\\n2-1. Choose your favorite character, or make an original.\\nTry to avoid ripping off straight from the medium, but there's no profit being made in the game so it's generally acceptable.\\n2-2. Avoid powerplaying.\\nMany roleplayers hate seeing Godmodders.\\nGod Mod is basically creating a character that can't ever be defeated, and is more powerful than anything in the universe. This can also be referred to as autoing in fights where all your hits connect and you never allow your character to be hit.\\nGodmodding can also be controlling another player's character. Which should be avoided without explicit permission.\\nRemember if your character gets killed off in a storyline you don't have to remove the character completely, unless you were playing for permanent death of whoever lost.\\n2-3. Make layouts that describe your character without being too flashy.\\nDon't make all of the layouts; ask others to make their own too.\\n3. Developing Behavior\\n3-1. Avoid using text talk.\\nUnless your character is texting someone in the play spell out the words.\\n3-2. Practice safe roleplay sex.\\nNever pressure or force anyone into a sex scene.\\n3-3. Don't one-line (unless it's a preference with someone you're roleplaying with).\\nMost people prefer at least a single paragraph, but some others allow one-lining. Just make sure you check the other person's preference (usually in the form of Roleplaying Rules in blogs) before trying to roleplay with others.\\n3-4. Don't steal anything, from anyone.\\nThis includes layout designs, storyline ideas, pictures, display names, biographies, roleplaying rules, etc. Don't be afraid to ask someone if you can copy something, 9 times out of 10 they'll say \\\"Yes,\\\" and they'll expect credit so whatever you borrowed from someone, make sure you write \\\"Credit to: [name]\\\" under whatever you took.\\n3-5. Be the nice guy/girl.\\nAccept constructive criticism, be nice, don't take things said in roleplay personally, make friends, chat up, etc. Be easy to get along with, and great roleplaying opportunities shall come your way.\\n3-6. Hang out in Chat zys.\\nIf you want to start a Chatzy, don't be extremely strict about it. Ban people if they're being rude to other members, not if you just simply don't like them. Also, if someone is being mean to another person, don't back them up because you think it's funny.\\nRemember, not everyone in there is having as much fun as you, and don't act like you're entitled to do something and others that accidentally do the same thing you do are copycats. Be nice, and again, don't declare supreme power by giving certain people administrator rights and playing around with the rights with one or two other people. Be nice, courteous, don't single others out, and don't gang up on someone.\\n4. Owning the RPG\\n4-1. Be a responsible owner.\\nIf you own an RPG, don't go mad with power. If you want to assign moderators of the group, don't let them all be other accounts you have control over, especially if no one knows that those accounts are you (that's called sock puppeteering).\\n4-2. Avoid appearing power hungry.\\nIt's not fun if you get people to join only to declare supreme power over them, because that'll make you look like a control freak and it'll cause people to leave. Let the members of the group be independent and if they don't want to participate sometimes then let them be. Only talk to them if they turn down opportunities consistently.\\nTips\\nAvoid permanent god-mode. Everyone hates it when someone goes like this: \\\"Jack hurled the spear at a godly speed, since he was invincible. There was no escape as the spear tore through her.\\\" It's one thing to maybe once in a while to say, \\\"The spear was thrown at a godly speed. An average man couldn't have dodged it. He waited, hoping the spear would hit its target.\\\" It's quite another to keep irritating everyone with constantly invincible powers. It gets boring quickly.\\nJoin a fandom or role playing community that you know about. If you want to join a new one, read the books, watch the movies, play the games, etc. Don't just randomly join and have no idea what you're talking about.\\nWarnings\\nDon't start an RP only to reply only once or twice. People hate it when someone starts an RP, only to have that person reply a few times and move on.\\nKeep in mind that you're still on the Internet. Don't post things you're uncomfortable about posting (such as a real life blog letting everyone know who you are, your cell phone number, etc). Get to know someone really well before letting them add your Facebook or see what you really look like.\\nDon’t be a Mary-Sue (over-powered character) that has no weaknesses. No one likes it when a character can’t die.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Online roleplaying is a text based way to create a story with one or more partners. You can be your favorite character, a completely new one, and enhance your writing skills. Start at step one to learn how to have an enjoyable experience for everyone.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Selecting a Universe\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a universe you know well.\", \"描述\": \"Try to avoid joining a universe you've never heard about or don't like.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do some general research into it before joining.\", \"描述\": \"It is perfectly acceptable to create your own universe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating a Character and Layout\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose your favorite character, or make an original.\", \"描述\": \"Try to avoid ripping off straight from the medium, but there's no profit being made in the game so it's generally acceptable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid powerplaying.\", \"描述\": \"Many roleplayers hate seeing Godmodders.\\nGod Mod is basically creating a character that can't ever be defeated, and is more powerful than anything in the universe. This can also be referred to as autoing in fights where all your hits connect and you never allow your character to be hit.\\nGodmodding can also be controlling another player's character. Which should be avoided without explicit permission.\\nRemember if your character gets killed off in a storyline you don't have to remove the character completely, unless you were playing for permanent death of whoever lost.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make layouts that describe your character without being too flashy.\", \"描述\": \"Don't make all of the layouts; ask others to make their own too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Developing Behavior\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid using text talk.\", \"描述\": \"Unless your character is texting someone in the play spell out the words.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice safe roleplay sex.\", \"描述\": \"Never pressure or force anyone into a sex scene.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't one-line (unless it's a preference with someone you're roleplaying with).\", \"描述\": \"Most people prefer at least a single paragraph, but some others allow one-lining. Just make sure you check the other person's preference (usually in the form of Roleplaying Rules in blogs) before trying to roleplay with others.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't steal anything, from anyone.\", \"描述\": \"This includes layout designs, storyline ideas, pictures, display names, biographies, roleplaying rules, etc. Don't be afraid to ask someone if you can copy something, 9 times out of 10 they'll say \\\"Yes,\\\" and they'll expect credit so whatever you borrowed from someone, make sure you write \\\"Credit to: [name]\\\" under whatever you took.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be the nice guy/girl.\", \"描述\": \"Accept constructive criticism, be nice, don't take things said in roleplay personally, make friends, chat up, etc. Be easy to get along with, and great roleplaying opportunities shall come your way.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Hang out in Chat zys.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to start a Chatzy, don't be extremely strict about it. Ban people if they're being rude to other members, not if you just simply don't like them. Also, if someone is being mean to another person, don't back them up because you think it's funny.\\nRemember, not everyone in there is having as much fun as you, and don't act like you're entitled to do something and others that accidentally do the same thing you do are copycats. Be nice, and again, don't declare supreme power by giving certain people administrator rights and playing around with the rights with one or two other people. Be nice, courteous, don't single others out, and don't gang up on someone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Owning the RPG\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a responsible owner.\", \"描述\": \"If you own an RPG, don't go mad with power. If you want to assign moderators of the group, don't let them all be other accounts you have control over, especially if no one knows that those accounts are you (that's called sock puppeteering).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid appearing power hungry.\", \"描述\": \"It's not fun if you get people to join only to declare supreme power over them, because that'll make you look like a control freak and it'll cause people to leave. Let the members of the group be independent and if they don't want to participate sometimes then let them be. Only talk to them if they turn down opportunities consistently.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid permanent god-mode. Everyone hates it when someone goes like this: \\\"Jack hurled the spear at a godly speed, since he was invincible. There was no escape as the spear tore through her.\\\" It's one thing to maybe once in a while to say, \\\"The spear was thrown at a godly speed. An average man couldn't have dodged it. He waited, hoping the spear would hit its target.\\\" It's quite another to keep irritating everyone with constantly invincible powers. It gets boring quickly.\\n\", \"Join a fandom or role playing community that you know about. If you want to join a new one, read the books, watch the movies, play the games, etc. Don't just randomly join and have no idea what you're talking about.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't start an RP only to reply only once or twice. People hate it when someone starts an RP, only to have that person reply a few times and move on.\\n\", \"Keep in mind that you're still on the Internet. Don't post things you're uncomfortable about posting (such as a real life blog letting everyone know who you are, your cell phone number, etc). Get to know someone really well before letting them add your Facebook or see what you really look like.\\n\", \"Don’t be a Mary-Sue (over-powered character) that has no weaknesses. No one likes it when a character can’t die.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,491 |
How to Be a Good Parent
|
1. Creating a Loving Environment
1-1. Give your child plenty of affection.
Make an effort to create a strong physical and emotional bond with your child throughout their entire childhood. A warm touch or a kind word can let your child know how much you really care about them. Here are some ways to show love and affection:
Give your child a cuddle, a kiss on the cheek, big hug, or even just a warm touch on their shoulder to show encouragement and appreciation.
Tell them you love them every day, even if you're upset with them.
1-2. Love your children unconditionally.
Don't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what.
For instance, you might hope that your child will be athletic. If they're not really interested in sports, though, it's important to let them know that that's okay, and work with them to find an activity that better suits their interests.
Similarly, don't make your child feel bad if it takes them a while to warm up to people, even if you're very outgoing yourself.
1-3. Emphasize the importance of experiences over toys.
Toys can entertain your child for a while, but they will never let them feel loved and cared for as an attentive parent can. Instead, make time to take your child to do fun things—even something as simple as eating an ice cream cone in the park can create a sweet memory that will last much longer than any toy.
Even just lying on the floor reading together can be a great bonding time for you and your children.
1-4. Praise your children for their accomplishments.
Help your kids feel proud of their accomplishments and good about themselves. When they do something good, let them know that you've noticed and that you're very proud of them. If you don't give them the confidence they need to be out in the world on their own, then they won't feel empowered to be independent or adventurous.
Be specific in your praise to let them know exactly what is being appreciated. For example, instead of saying, "Good job!" you might say, "You did great taking turns with your sister while playing," or "Thank you for cleaning up the toys after playing with them!"
Make it a point to praise your children's accomplishments and good behavior more than their natural talents. That will help them learn to value taking on a tough challenge.
Try to get in the habit a habit of praising your children more often than you give them negative feedback. Though it's important to tell your children when they're doing something wrong, it's also important to help them build a positive sense of self. In addition, if you focus too much on bad behavior, your children may act out more as a way to get your attention.
1-5. Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings.
Each child is individual and unique, so celebrate their differences. If you constantly compare your child to other kids, it might make them feel like they can never be good enough in your eyes. It might even hold them back from finding success later on. Instead of comparing them to other kids, help your children learn how to meet goals on their own terms, and encourage them to follow the path that works for them.
Comparing one child to their siblings can lead your children to develop a rivalry. Try to nurture a loving relationship between your children, not a competitive one.
Don't show favoritism between your children, either—if they're arguing, be fair and neutral.
1-6. Give your children your full attention when they're talking.
It's important to have open communication with your kids, so be sure you take the time to stop and listen when they come to you with questions or concerns. In addition, express interest in your children and involve yourself in their life. This will help create an atmosphere in which your children can come to you with a problem, however large or small.
Practice active listening with your children so they know you're paying attention to them. Look at them while they talk to you, and show them you're following along by nodding and making affirmative statements, such as "Uh huh," "I understand," or "Keep going." When it is your turn to speak, paraphrase what you heard them say before you respond. For instance, you could say, "It sounds like you're saying that this week's chore list is unfair."
Try setting aside a specific time to talk to each child every day. This can be before bedtime, at breakfast, or during a walk after school. Treat this time as sacred and avoid checking your phone or getting distracted.
For instance, during dinner you might ask your child to share something they learned at school.
1-7. Make one-on-one time for each child.
It's really important for kids to feel like they're important to their parents, so intentionally carve out time to spend with each of your children. During that time, plan something fun to do together, like going for a walk, getting a snack, or putting together a puzzle. While you're doing that, give your child your full attention—talk to them and listen to what they have to say. Even just casually spending time together can be really meaningful to them.
Try to divide your time equally if you have more than one child. However, keep in mind that you don't have to do the same thing with each one—maybe one of your children loves roller skating, for instance, while the other would be happiest with a trip to the library.
Be engaged with their schoolwork as well. For example, when you can, try to attend school functions, do homework with your children, and monitor their grades to get a sense of how they are doing in school. You can also join a Parent Teacher Association (PTA) if you'd like to be more involved in their education.
Be careful not to stifle or smother your children, however—give them time to themselves, too. You want them to feel like your time together is special, not like they're forced to spend time with you.
1-8. Respect your child's privacy to build trust.
Allow your children to feel that once they enter their room, no one will look through their drawers, or read their diary. This will teach them to honor their own space and to respect the privacy of others. It will also give them a sense of stability, and it will help build trust between the two of you.
Allow your child to maintain their personal space and accept that it's normal for them to sometimes keep secrets from you, especially as they get older. You can balance this by having an open door policy so that they can approach you if they need help with an issue.
1-9. Be there for the milestones.
You may have a hectic work schedule, but you should do everything you can to be there for the important moments in your children's lives, from their ballet recitals and birthdays to their high school graduation. Remember that children grow fast and that they'll be on their own before you know it. Your boss may or may not remember that you missed that meeting, but your child will most certainly remember that you didn't attend the play they were in.
If something happens and you have to miss an important milestone, let your child know that you're really sorry you missed it, and make it up to them with a special celebration. For instance, if you can't take your child to class on the first day of school, you might celebrate by picking up their favorite dinner and a special dessert that night.
2. Being a Good Disciplinarian
2-1. Enforce reasonable rules and consequences.
Create a list of household rules that will help your children lead a happy, productive life. Make sure these rules are appropriate for your child's age. Remember, your rules and guidelines should help your child develop and grow, but they shouldn't be so strict that they feel like they can't do anything right.
For example, if you have a younger child, you might have rules like "Don't go outside without a grownup," with the consequence of being grounded indoors if they break that rule. For older children, you might set rules about helping around the house, and you might take away a privilege like screen time if they don't do their chores.
Listen to your child's feedback about the rules they have to follow, but remember—you are the parent. Children need boundaries. A child who has been allowed to behave as they please will struggle in adult life when they have to obey society's rules.
Avoid overly harsh forms of punishment, and never do anything that involves physically hurting your child—in addition to being abusive, it can actually make behavioral problems worse. It's always better to help and guide your child so they can learn from their mistake.
2-2. Be consistent with your rules.
Even though it can be hard sometimes, it's important to enforce the same rules all the time. Try not to let your child manipulate you into making exceptions. If you let your child do something he or she is not supposed to do just because he or she is throwing a tantrum, then this shows that your rules are breakable.
If your child feels like your rules are breakable, they won't have an incentive to stick to them.
2-3. Control your temper as much as you can.
It's important to try to be as calm and reasonable as possible when you're dealing with your children, even if they're misbehaving. Obviously, this can be quite a challenge, especially when your children are acting out or just driving you up the wall, but if you feel yourself getting ready to raise your voice, take a break and excuse yourself, or at least let your kids know that you are beginning to get upset.
We all lose our tempers and feel out of control, sometimes. If you do or say something you regret, you should apologize to your children, letting them know that you've made a mistake. Teaching them to apologize and admit when they were wrong is a more important lesson than acting like you're always perfect.
2-4. Be a united front with your child's other parent.
If you're raising your children with someone else, it's important that your children think of you as a united front—two people who will both say "yes" or "no" to the same things. If your kids think that their mother will always say yes and their father will say no, then they'll probably learn to play off of that to get what they want.
This doesn't mean that you both have to agree 100% about everything having to do with the kids. But it does mean that you should work together to solve problems that involve the children, instead of being pitted against each other.
Try not to argue with your spouse or co-parent in front of the children. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear their parents bickering. Instead, try to show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully.
2-5. Create a disciplined schedule to keep your family organized.
Your kids should feel like there's a sense of order and a logic to things in their household and in their family life. This can help them feel safe and at peace, which can help them live a happy life both in and outside of their home. A good way to do this is to keep a regular schedule. For example, you should have set bedtimes and wake-up times, serve meals at about the same time each day, and schedule a time for things like homework and play. Here are some ways that you can provide order for your children:
Keep up with your own hygiene, such as showering and caring for your teeth, and teach your child that the same is expected of them.
Encourage responsibility by giving your children regular jobs or chores to do as part of their routine.
2-6. Criticize your child's behavior, not your child.
If your child is misbehaving, let them know that you don't like their actions. However, reassure them that you still love and care about them, even though you're not happy with that behavior. That way, they'll be more likely to feel like they're can change how they're acting, while still feeling loved and supported.
For instance, if you catch your child being mean to their sibling, don't say, "You're so bad!" Instead, say something like, "It's hurtful to call people names, so I think you should apologize to Anna."
Be assertive yet kind when you're pointing out what your child has done wrong. Be stern and serious, but not cross or mean, when you tell them what you expect.
If they misbehave in public, take them aside, and scold them privately. That way, you won't be adding embarrassment into the mix.
2-7. Don't place unreasonable expectations on your child.
Try not to make your child feel like they have to be perfect or to live up to your idea of what perfect should be. For instance, don't push your child to get perfect grades or to be the best player on his soccer team. Instead, encourage good study habits and good sportsmanship, and let your child put in the effort that they're capable of.
If you act like you only expect the best, your child will feel like they may never measure up, and may even rebel in the process.
Be clear about what you expect from your child. For instance, you should say, "Please put your shoes on," rather than, "We need to leave, shouldn't you have your shoes on by now?"
3. Helping Your Child Build Character
3-1. Teach your children to be independent.
Teach your children that it is okay for them to be different, and they do not have to follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when they are young, and encourage them to make their own decisions, rather than deciding everything for them.
Give your children the chance to make choices on their own. If you have a young child, for instance, you might offer 2-3 outfits and let them chose the one they want to wear, or you might let them pick between several snacks.
When your children are older, give them choices on things like which extracurricular activities they want to participate in and the friends they want to hang around—as long as you feel like they're safe influences, of course.
Remember that your child is not an extension of yourself. Your child is an individual under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through them.
3-2. Be a good role model.
Arguably the most important thing you can do as a parent is to be a good influence. If you expect certain behaviors from your children, you really have to model them yourself. You don't have to be a perfect person, but you should strive to do as you want your children to do, and be willing to admit when you make mistakes.
For instance, if you want your children to be polite and kind, don't yell in traffic or snap at someone who's holding up the line at the grocery store.
If you want to teach kids about charity, take your kids with you to a soup kitchen or homeless shelter and help serve up meals. Explain to them why you do acts of charity so they understand why they should.
If you want your children to do household chores, ask them to help you while you're cleaning around the house. Don't just ask them to clean their room while you sit on the couch.
If you want your kids to get off their digital devices, don't spend a lot of time hooked to your tablet or phone.
3-3. Practice good manners with your children.
Basic manners will take a person a long way in life, so from the earliest ages, teach your child to say things like, "Please," "Thank you," and "Excuse me." Also teach them about waiting their turn, sharing with others, and how to act in a social situation.
Remember, the best way to teach your children manners is to model them yourself!
3-4. Encourage your children to have a healthy lifestyle.
It's important to make sure that your children eat healthy food as much as they can, that they get plenty of exercise, and that they get enough rest every night. Don't force them to eat or act a certain way, but do try to provide healthy options instead of filling up the house with junk food, and plan activities for the family that will get everyone up and moving.
One way to encourage them to exercise is to get them to play a sport early on in life, so they find a passion that is also healthy.
Start healthy eating habits at a young age. From the time you first start introducing solid foods, offer a variety of age-appropriate fruits and veggies, rather than unhealthy snacks like chips and sweets.
3-5. Let your children make their own mistakes.
Life is a great teacher, so don't be too quick to rescue your child from the results of their own actions. Know that you can't protect your children forever, and they're better off learning life's lessons sooner than later. Though it can be hard to stand back and watch your child make a mistake, this will benefit both you and your child in the long run.
For instance, if your child refuses to wear a jacket, don't force them—they'll realize their mistake when they get cold. However, you can bring the jacket along in case they change their mind.
Be reasonable when you're letting them face their own consequences. For instance, sometimes it's better to let your child fall off the couch rather than yelling at them to get down for the 14th time in a row. However, if they're standing on the edge of a cliff, you'd obviously want to intervene.
Try not to say, "I told you so," when your child learns a life lesson on his own. Instead, let your child draw his own conclusions about what happened.
4. Parenting Teens and Young Adults
4-1. Emphasize moderation and responsibility when it comes to alcohol consumption.
You can start talking about this even when children are young. Explain that they will have to wait until they are old enough to enjoy a drink with friends, and talk about the importance of designated drivers. In addition, be frank with teens about the effects alcohol can have on their brain and body.
Encourage your teens to wait until they're legally old enough to drink. Tell them that even then, they should never drink and drive, and assure them that if they're ever impaired, they can call you and you'll make sure they get home safely.
4-2. Be honest with your children about sex.
If your child has questions about sex, it is important to answer their questions calmly and without embarrassment. If you don't answer their questions, this can leave them uninformed and ashamed, which can harm them later in life. From an early age, talk to your children about their anatomy, including the proper names for their body parts. As they get older, talk to them about puberty, conception, contraception, and the impact sex has on relationships.
It's natural for your child to become curious about their body as they get older. If they come to you with questions, answer them openly, and try not to feel embarrassed.
4-3. Be there for your child all the way into adulthood.
Your parenting will have a life-long effect on your child, and they'll always need your love and affection, even if you're hundreds of miles away. While you won't always be a constant daily presence in your child's life, you should always let your children know that you care about them and that you'll always be there for them.
No matter what age they are, if you have a good relationship with your children, they'll still turn to you for advice.
Tips
Take a parenting class at your local adult education center to help you feel more confident in your role.[31]
X
Expert Source
Deanna Dawson-Jesus, CD (DONA)Birth & Postpartum Doula, Childbirth, & Lactation Educator
Expert Interview. 31 July 2020.
While many people will try to give you parenting advice, realize that it's ultimately your decision how you want to raise your child.[32]
X
Expert Source
Deanna Dawson-Jesus, CD (DONA)Birth & Postpartum Doula, Childbirth, & Lactation Educator
Expert Interview. 31 July 2020.
Use connection as a reward. For instance, you might offer things like extra cuddle time or a few extra minutes playing with you as a way to acknowledge good behavior.[33]
X
Expert Source
Wits End ParentingParenting Specialists
Expert Interview. 11 March 2020.
Warnings
Never over-indulge a child. It can lead to stubborn and irresponsible behavior.
While praising kids, focus on effort and not end results to avoid raising praise-junkies.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Creating a Loving Environment\\n1-1. Give your child plenty of affection.\\nMake an effort to create a strong physical and emotional bond with your child throughout their entire childhood. A warm touch or a kind word can let your child know how much you really care about them. Here are some ways to show love and affection:\\nGive your child a cuddle, a kiss on the cheek, big hug, or even just a warm touch on their shoulder to show encouragement and appreciation.\\nTell them you love them every day, even if you're upset with them.\\n1-2. Love your children unconditionally.\\nDon't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what.\\nFor instance, you might hope that your child will be athletic. If they're not really interested in sports, though, it's important to let them know that that's okay, and work with them to find an activity that better suits their interests.\\nSimilarly, don't make your child feel bad if it takes them a while to warm up to people, even if you're very outgoing yourself.\\n1-3. Emphasize the importance of experiences over toys.\\nToys can entertain your child for a while, but they will never let them feel loved and cared for as an attentive parent can. Instead, make time to take your child to do fun things—even something as simple as eating an ice cream cone in the park can create a sweet memory that will last much longer than any toy.\\nEven just lying on the floor reading together can be a great bonding time for you and your children.\\n1-4. Praise your children for their accomplishments.\\nHelp your kids feel proud of their accomplishments and good about themselves. When they do something good, let them know that you've noticed and that you're very proud of them. If you don't give them the confidence they need to be out in the world on their own, then they won't feel empowered to be independent or adventurous.\\nBe specific in your praise to let them know exactly what is being appreciated. For example, instead of saying, \\\"Good job!\\\" you might say, \\\"You did great taking turns with your sister while playing,\\\" or \\\"Thank you for cleaning up the toys after playing with them!\\\"\\nMake it a point to praise your children's accomplishments and good behavior more than their natural talents. That will help them learn to value taking on a tough challenge.\\nTry to get in the habit a habit of praising your children more often than you give them negative feedback. Though it's important to tell your children when they're doing something wrong, it's also important to help them build a positive sense of self. In addition, if you focus too much on bad behavior, your children may act out more as a way to get your attention.\\n1-5. Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings.\\nEach child is individual and unique, so celebrate their differences. If you constantly compare your child to other kids, it might make them feel like they can never be good enough in your eyes. It might even hold them back from finding success later on. Instead of comparing them to other kids, help your children learn how to meet goals on their own terms, and encourage them to follow the path that works for them.\\nComparing one child to their siblings can lead your children to develop a rivalry. Try to nurture a loving relationship between your children, not a competitive one.\\nDon't show favoritism between your children, either—if they're arguing, be fair and neutral.\\n1-6. Give your children your full attention when they're talking.\\nIt's important to have open communication with your kids, so be sure you take the time to stop and listen when they come to you with questions or concerns. In addition, express interest in your children and involve yourself in their life. This will help create an atmosphere in which your children can come to you with a problem, however large or small.\\nPractice active listening with your children so they know you're paying attention to them. Look at them while they talk to you, and show them you're following along by nodding and making affirmative statements, such as \\\"Uh huh,\\\" \\\"I understand,\\\" or \\\"Keep going.\\\" When it is your turn to speak, paraphrase what you heard them say before you respond. For instance, you could say, \\\"It sounds like you're saying that this week's chore list is unfair.\\\"\\nTry setting aside a specific time to talk to each child every day. This can be before bedtime, at breakfast, or during a walk after school. Treat this time as sacred and avoid checking your phone or getting distracted.\\nFor instance, during dinner you might ask your child to share something they learned at school.\\n1-7. Make one-on-one time for each child.\\nIt's really important for kids to feel like they're important to their parents, so intentionally carve out time to spend with each of your children. During that time, plan something fun to do together, like going for a walk, getting a snack, or putting together a puzzle. While you're doing that, give your child your full attention—talk to them and listen to what they have to say. Even just casually spending time together can be really meaningful to them.\\nTry to divide your time equally if you have more than one child. However, keep in mind that you don't have to do the same thing with each one—maybe one of your children loves roller skating, for instance, while the other would be happiest with a trip to the library.\\nBe engaged with their schoolwork as well. For example, when you can, try to attend school functions, do homework with your children, and monitor their grades to get a sense of how they are doing in school. You can also join a Parent Teacher Association (PTA) if you'd like to be more involved in their education.\\nBe careful not to stifle or smother your children, however—give them time to themselves, too. You want them to feel like your time together is special, not like they're forced to spend time with you.\\n1-8. Respect your child's privacy to build trust.\\nAllow your children to feel that once they enter their room, no one will look through their drawers, or read their diary. This will teach them to honor their own space and to respect the privacy of others. It will also give them a sense of stability, and it will help build trust between the two of you.\\nAllow your child to maintain their personal space and accept that it's normal for them to sometimes keep secrets from you, especially as they get older. You can balance this by having an open door policy so that they can approach you if they need help with an issue.\\n1-9. Be there for the milestones.\\nYou may have a hectic work schedule, but you should do everything you can to be there for the important moments in your children's lives, from their ballet recitals and birthdays to their high school graduation. Remember that children grow fast and that they'll be on their own before you know it. Your boss may or may not remember that you missed that meeting, but your child will most certainly remember that you didn't attend the play they were in.\\nIf something happens and you have to miss an important milestone, let your child know that you're really sorry you missed it, and make it up to them with a special celebration. For instance, if you can't take your child to class on the first day of school, you might celebrate by picking up their favorite dinner and a special dessert that night.\\n2. Being a Good Disciplinarian\\n2-1. Enforce reasonable rules and consequences.\\nCreate a list of household rules that will help your children lead a happy, productive life. Make sure these rules are appropriate for your child's age. Remember, your rules and guidelines should help your child develop and grow, but they shouldn't be so strict that they feel like they can't do anything right.\\nFor example, if you have a younger child, you might have rules like \\\"Don't go outside without a grownup,\\\" with the consequence of being grounded indoors if they break that rule. For older children, you might set rules about helping around the house, and you might take away a privilege like screen time if they don't do their chores.\\nListen to your child's feedback about the rules they have to follow, but remember—you are the parent. Children need boundaries. A child who has been allowed to behave as they please will struggle in adult life when they have to obey society's rules.\\nAvoid overly harsh forms of punishment, and never do anything that involves physically hurting your child—in addition to being abusive, it can actually make behavioral problems worse. It's always better to help and guide your child so they can learn from their mistake.\\n2-2. Be consistent with your rules.\\nEven though it can be hard sometimes, it's important to enforce the same rules all the time. Try not to let your child manipulate you into making exceptions. If you let your child do something he or she is not supposed to do just because he or she is throwing a tantrum, then this shows that your rules are breakable.\\nIf your child feels like your rules are breakable, they won't have an incentive to stick to them.\\n2-3. Control your temper as much as you can.\\nIt's important to try to be as calm and reasonable as possible when you're dealing with your children, even if they're misbehaving. Obviously, this can be quite a challenge, especially when your children are acting out or just driving you up the wall, but if you feel yourself getting ready to raise your voice, take a break and excuse yourself, or at least let your kids know that you are beginning to get upset.\\nWe all lose our tempers and feel out of control, sometimes. If you do or say something you regret, you should apologize to your children, letting them know that you've made a mistake. Teaching them to apologize and admit when they were wrong is a more important lesson than acting like you're always perfect.\\n2-4. Be a united front with your child's other parent.\\nIf you're raising your children with someone else, it's important that your children think of you as a united front—two people who will both say \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no\\\" to the same things. If your kids think that their mother will always say yes and their father will say no, then they'll probably learn to play off of that to get what they want.\\nThis doesn't mean that you both have to agree 100% about everything having to do with the kids. But it does mean that you should work together to solve problems that involve the children, instead of being pitted against each other.\\nTry not to argue with your spouse or co-parent in front of the children. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear their parents bickering. Instead, try to show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully.\\n2-5. Create a disciplined schedule to keep your family organized.\\nYour kids should feel like there's a sense of order and a logic to things in their household and in their family life. This can help them feel safe and at peace, which can help them live a happy life both in and outside of their home. A good way to do this is to keep a regular schedule. For example, you should have set bedtimes and wake-up times, serve meals at about the same time each day, and schedule a time for things like homework and play. Here are some ways that you can provide order for your children:\\nKeep up with your own hygiene, such as showering and caring for your teeth, and teach your child that the same is expected of them.\\nEncourage responsibility by giving your children regular jobs or chores to do as part of their routine.\\n2-6. Criticize your child's behavior, not your child.\\nIf your child is misbehaving, let them know that you don't like their actions. However, reassure them that you still love and care about them, even though you're not happy with that behavior. That way, they'll be more likely to feel like they're can change how they're acting, while still feeling loved and supported.\\nFor instance, if you catch your child being mean to their sibling, don't say, \\\"You're so bad!\\\" Instead, say something like, \\\"It's hurtful to call people names, so I think you should apologize to Anna.\\\"\\nBe assertive yet kind when you're pointing out what your child has done wrong. Be stern and serious, but not cross or mean, when you tell them what you expect.\\nIf they misbehave in public, take them aside, and scold them privately. That way, you won't be adding embarrassment into the mix.\\n2-7. Don't place unreasonable expectations on your child.\\nTry not to make your child feel like they have to be perfect or to live up to your idea of what perfect should be. For instance, don't push your child to get perfect grades or to be the best player on his soccer team. Instead, encourage good study habits and good sportsmanship, and let your child put in the effort that they're capable of.\\nIf you act like you only expect the best, your child will feel like they may never measure up, and may even rebel in the process.\\nBe clear about what you expect from your child. For instance, you should say, \\\"Please put your shoes on,\\\" rather than, \\\"We need to leave, shouldn't you have your shoes on by now?\\\"\\n3. Helping Your Child Build Character\\n3-1. Teach your children to be independent.\\nTeach your children that it is okay for them to be different, and they do not have to follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when they are young, and encourage them to make their own decisions, rather than deciding everything for them.\\nGive your children the chance to make choices on their own. If you have a young child, for instance, you might offer 2-3 outfits and let them chose the one they want to wear, or you might let them pick between several snacks.\\nWhen your children are older, give them choices on things like which extracurricular activities they want to participate in and the friends they want to hang around—as long as you feel like they're safe influences, of course.\\nRemember that your child is not an extension of yourself. Your child is an individual under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through them.\\n3-2. Be a good role model.\\nArguably the most important thing you can do as a parent is to be a good influence. If you expect certain behaviors from your children, you really have to model them yourself. You don't have to be a perfect person, but you should strive to do as you want your children to do, and be willing to admit when you make mistakes.\\nFor instance, if you want your children to be polite and kind, don't yell in traffic or snap at someone who's holding up the line at the grocery store.\\nIf you want to teach kids about charity, take your kids with you to a soup kitchen or homeless shelter and help serve up meals. Explain to them why you do acts of charity so they understand why they should.\\nIf you want your children to do household chores, ask them to help you while you're cleaning around the house. Don't just ask them to clean their room while you sit on the couch.\\nIf you want your kids to get off their digital devices, don't spend a lot of time hooked to your tablet or phone.\\n3-3. Practice good manners with your children.\\nBasic manners will take a person a long way in life, so from the earliest ages, teach your child to say things like, \\\"Please,\\\" \\\"Thank you,\\\" and \\\"Excuse me.\\\" Also teach them about waiting their turn, sharing with others, and how to act in a social situation.\\nRemember, the best way to teach your children manners is to model them yourself!\\n3-4. Encourage your children to have a healthy lifestyle.\\nIt's important to make sure that your children eat healthy food as much as they can, that they get plenty of exercise, and that they get enough rest every night. Don't force them to eat or act a certain way, but do try to provide healthy options instead of filling up the house with junk food, and plan activities for the family that will get everyone up and moving.\\nOne way to encourage them to exercise is to get them to play a sport early on in life, so they find a passion that is also healthy.\\nStart healthy eating habits at a young age. From the time you first start introducing solid foods, offer a variety of age-appropriate fruits and veggies, rather than unhealthy snacks like chips and sweets.\\n3-5. Let your children make their own mistakes.\\nLife is a great teacher, so don't be too quick to rescue your child from the results of their own actions. Know that you can't protect your children forever, and they're better off learning life's lessons sooner than later. Though it can be hard to stand back and watch your child make a mistake, this will benefit both you and your child in the long run.\\nFor instance, if your child refuses to wear a jacket, don't force them—they'll realize their mistake when they get cold. However, you can bring the jacket along in case they change their mind.\\nBe reasonable when you're letting them face their own consequences. For instance, sometimes it's better to let your child fall off the couch rather than yelling at them to get down for the 14th time in a row. However, if they're standing on the edge of a cliff, you'd obviously want to intervene.\\nTry not to say, \\\"I told you so,\\\" when your child learns a life lesson on his own. Instead, let your child draw his own conclusions about what happened.\\n4. Parenting Teens and Young Adults\\n4-1. Emphasize moderation and responsibility when it comes to alcohol consumption.\\nYou can start talking about this even when children are young. Explain that they will have to wait until they are old enough to enjoy a drink with friends, and talk about the importance of designated drivers. In addition, be frank with teens about the effects alcohol can have on their brain and body.\\nEncourage your teens to wait until they're legally old enough to drink. Tell them that even then, they should never drink and drive, and assure them that if they're ever impaired, they can call you and you'll make sure they get home safely.\\n4-2. Be honest with your children about sex.\\nIf your child has questions about sex, it is important to answer their questions calmly and without embarrassment. If you don't answer their questions, this can leave them uninformed and ashamed, which can harm them later in life. From an early age, talk to your children about their anatomy, including the proper names for their body parts. As they get older, talk to them about puberty, conception, contraception, and the impact sex has on relationships.\\nIt's natural for your child to become curious about their body as they get older. If they come to you with questions, answer them openly, and try not to feel embarrassed.\\n4-3. Be there for your child all the way into adulthood.\\nYour parenting will have a life-long effect on your child, and they'll always need your love and affection, even if you're hundreds of miles away. While you won't always be a constant daily presence in your child's life, you should always let your children know that you care about them and that you'll always be there for them.\\nNo matter what age they are, if you have a good relationship with your children, they'll still turn to you for advice.\\nTips\\nTake a parenting class at your local adult education center to help you feel more confident in your role.[31]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nDeanna Dawson-Jesus, CD (DONA)Birth & Postpartum Doula, Childbirth, & Lactation Educator\\nExpert Interview. 31 July 2020.\\nWhile many people will try to give you parenting advice, realize that it's ultimately your decision how you want to raise your child.[32]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nDeanna Dawson-Jesus, CD (DONA)Birth & Postpartum Doula, Childbirth, & Lactation Educator\\nExpert Interview. 31 July 2020.\\nUse connection as a reward. For instance, you might offer things like extra cuddle time or a few extra minutes playing with you as a way to acknowledge good behavior.[33]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nWits End ParentingParenting Specialists\\nExpert Interview. 11 March 2020.\\nWarnings\\nNever over-indulge a child. It can lead to stubborn and irresponsible behavior.\\nWhile praising kids, focus on effort and not end results to avoid raising praise-junkies.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of your life, but that doesn't mean it's easy. No matter what age your children are, your work is never done. To be a good parent, you have to balance making your child feel loved while still helping them learn the difference between right and wrong. Even when it's hard, just keep doing your best to create a nurturing environment where your children can develop into confident, independent, and caring people.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Creating a Loving Environment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your child plenty of affection.\", \"描述\": \"Make an effort to create a strong physical and emotional bond with your child throughout their entire childhood. A warm touch or a kind word can let your child know how much you really care about them. Here are some ways to show love and affection:\\nGive your child a cuddle, a kiss on the cheek, big hug, or even just a warm touch on their shoulder to show encouragement and appreciation.\\nTell them you love them every day, even if you're upset with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Love your children unconditionally.\", \"描述\": \"Don't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what.\\nFor instance, you might hope that your child will be athletic. If they're not really interested in sports, though, it's important to let them know that that's okay, and work with them to find an activity that better suits their interests.\\nSimilarly, don't make your child feel bad if it takes them a while to warm up to people, even if you're very outgoing yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Emphasize the importance of experiences over toys.\", \"描述\": \"Toys can entertain your child for a while, but they will never let them feel loved and cared for as an attentive parent can. Instead, make time to take your child to do fun things—even something as simple as eating an ice cream cone in the park can create a sweet memory that will last much longer than any toy.\\nEven just lying on the floor reading together can be a great bonding time for you and your children.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Praise your children for their accomplishments.\", \"描述\": \"Help your kids feel proud of their accomplishments and good about themselves. When they do something good, let them know that you've noticed and that you're very proud of them. If you don't give them the confidence they need to be out in the world on their own, then they won't feel empowered to be independent or adventurous.\\nBe specific in your praise to let them know exactly what is being appreciated. For example, instead of saying, \\\"Good job!\\\" you might say, \\\"You did great taking turns with your sister while playing,\\\" or \\\"Thank you for cleaning up the toys after playing with them!\\\"\\nMake it a point to praise your children's accomplishments and good behavior more than their natural talents. That will help them learn to value taking on a tough challenge.\\nTry to get in the habit a habit of praising your children more often than you give them negative feedback. Though it's important to tell your children when they're doing something wrong, it's also important to help them build a positive sense of self. In addition, if you focus too much on bad behavior, your children may act out more as a way to get your attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings.\", \"描述\": \"Each child is individual and unique, so celebrate their differences. If you constantly compare your child to other kids, it might make them feel like they can never be good enough in your eyes. It might even hold them back from finding success later on. Instead of comparing them to other kids, help your children learn how to meet goals on their own terms, and encourage them to follow the path that works for them.\\nComparing one child to their siblings can lead your children to develop a rivalry. Try to nurture a loving relationship between your children, not a competitive one.\\nDon't show favoritism between your children, either—if they're arguing, be fair and neutral.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give your children your full attention when they're talking.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to have open communication with your kids, so be sure you take the time to stop and listen when they come to you with questions or concerns. In addition, express interest in your children and involve yourself in their life. This will help create an atmosphere in which your children can come to you with a problem, however large or small.\\nPractice active listening with your children so they know you're paying attention to them. Look at them while they talk to you, and show them you're following along by nodding and making affirmative statements, such as \\\"Uh huh,\\\" \\\"I understand,\\\" or \\\"Keep going.\\\" When it is your turn to speak, paraphrase what you heard them say before you respond. For instance, you could say, \\\"It sounds like you're saying that this week's chore list is unfair.\\\"\\nTry setting aside a specific time to talk to each child every day. This can be before bedtime, at breakfast, or during a walk after school. Treat this time as sacred and avoid checking your phone or getting distracted.\\nFor instance, during dinner you might ask your child to share something they learned at school.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make one-on-one time for each child.\", \"描述\": \"It's really important for kids to feel like they're important to their parents, so intentionally carve out time to spend with each of your children. During that time, plan something fun to do together, like going for a walk, getting a snack, or putting together a puzzle. While you're doing that, give your child your full attention—talk to them and listen to what they have to say. Even just casually spending time together can be really meaningful to them.\\nTry to divide your time equally if you have more than one child. However, keep in mind that you don't have to do the same thing with each one—maybe one of your children loves roller skating, for instance, while the other would be happiest with a trip to the library.\\nBe engaged with their schoolwork as well. For example, when you can, try to attend school functions, do homework with your children, and monitor their grades to get a sense of how they are doing in school. You can also join a Parent Teacher Association (PTA) if you'd like to be more involved in their education.\\nBe careful not to stifle or smother your children, however—give them time to themselves, too. You want them to feel like your time together is special, not like they're forced to spend time with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Respect your child's privacy to build trust.\", \"描述\": \"Allow your children to feel that once they enter their room, no one will look through their drawers, or read their diary. This will teach them to honor their own space and to respect the privacy of others. It will also give them a sense of stability, and it will help build trust between the two of you.\\nAllow your child to maintain their personal space and accept that it's normal for them to sometimes keep secrets from you, especially as they get older. You can balance this by having an open door policy so that they can approach you if they need help with an issue.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be there for the milestones.\", \"描述\": \"You may have a hectic work schedule, but you should do everything you can to be there for the important moments in your children's lives, from their ballet recitals and birthdays to their high school graduation. Remember that children grow fast and that they'll be on their own before you know it. Your boss may or may not remember that you missed that meeting, but your child will most certainly remember that you didn't attend the play they were in.\\nIf something happens and you have to miss an important milestone, let your child know that you're really sorry you missed it, and make it up to them with a special celebration. For instance, if you can't take your child to class on the first day of school, you might celebrate by picking up their favorite dinner and a special dessert that night.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being a Good Disciplinarian\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enforce reasonable rules and consequences.\", \"描述\": \"Create a list of household rules that will help your children lead a happy, productive life. Make sure these rules are appropriate for your child's age. Remember, your rules and guidelines should help your child develop and grow, but they shouldn't be so strict that they feel like they can't do anything right.\\nFor example, if you have a younger child, you might have rules like \\\"Don't go outside without a grownup,\\\" with the consequence of being grounded indoors if they break that rule. For older children, you might set rules about helping around the house, and you might take away a privilege like screen time if they don't do their chores.\\nListen to your child's feedback about the rules they have to follow, but remember—you are the parent. Children need boundaries. A child who has been allowed to behave as they please will struggle in adult life when they have to obey society's rules.\\nAvoid overly harsh forms of punishment, and never do anything that involves physically hurting your child—in addition to being abusive, it can actually make behavioral problems worse. It's always better to help and guide your child so they can learn from their mistake.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be consistent with your rules.\", \"描述\": \"Even though it can be hard sometimes, it's important to enforce the same rules all the time. Try not to let your child manipulate you into making exceptions. If you let your child do something he or she is not supposed to do just because he or she is throwing a tantrum, then this shows that your rules are breakable.\\nIf your child feels like your rules are breakable, they won't have an incentive to stick to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Control your temper as much as you can.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to try to be as calm and reasonable as possible when you're dealing with your children, even if they're misbehaving. Obviously, this can be quite a challenge, especially when your children are acting out or just driving you up the wall, but if you feel yourself getting ready to raise your voice, take a break and excuse yourself, or at least let your kids know that you are beginning to get upset.\\nWe all lose our tempers and feel out of control, sometimes. If you do or say something you regret, you should apologize to your children, letting them know that you've made a mistake. Teaching them to apologize and admit when they were wrong is a more important lesson than acting like you're always perfect.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be a united front with your child's other parent.\", \"描述\": \"If you're raising your children with someone else, it's important that your children think of you as a united front—two people who will both say \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no\\\" to the same things. If your kids think that their mother will always say yes and their father will say no, then they'll probably learn to play off of that to get what they want.\\nThis doesn't mean that you both have to agree 100% about everything having to do with the kids. But it does mean that you should work together to solve problems that involve the children, instead of being pitted against each other.\\nTry not to argue with your spouse or co-parent in front of the children. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear their parents bickering. Instead, try to show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Create a disciplined schedule to keep your family organized.\", \"描述\": \"Your kids should feel like there's a sense of order and a logic to things in their household and in their family life. This can help them feel safe and at peace, which can help them live a happy life both in and outside of their home. A good way to do this is to keep a regular schedule. For example, you should have set bedtimes and wake-up times, serve meals at about the same time each day, and schedule a time for things like homework and play. Here are some ways that you can provide order for your children:\\nKeep up with your own hygiene, such as showering and caring for your teeth, and teach your child that the same is expected of them.\\nEncourage responsibility by giving your children regular jobs or chores to do as part of their routine.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Criticize your child's behavior, not your child.\", \"描述\": \"If your child is misbehaving, let them know that you don't like their actions. However, reassure them that you still love and care about them, even though you're not happy with that behavior. That way, they'll be more likely to feel like they're can change how they're acting, while still feeling loved and supported.\\nFor instance, if you catch your child being mean to their sibling, don't say, \\\"You're so bad!\\\" Instead, say something like, \\\"It's hurtful to call people names, so I think you should apologize to Anna.\\\"\\nBe assertive yet kind when you're pointing out what your child has done wrong. Be stern and serious, but not cross or mean, when you tell them what you expect.\\nIf they misbehave in public, take them aside, and scold them privately. That way, you won't be adding embarrassment into the mix.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't place unreasonable expectations on your child.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to make your child feel like they have to be perfect or to live up to your idea of what perfect should be. For instance, don't push your child to get perfect grades or to be the best player on his soccer team. Instead, encourage good study habits and good sportsmanship, and let your child put in the effort that they're capable of.\\nIf you act like you only expect the best, your child will feel like they may never measure up, and may even rebel in the process.\\nBe clear about what you expect from your child. For instance, you should say, \\\"Please put your shoes on,\\\" rather than, \\\"We need to leave, shouldn't you have your shoes on by now?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Helping Your Child Build Character\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Teach your children to be independent.\", \"描述\": \"Teach your children that it is okay for them to be different, and they do not have to follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when they are young, and encourage them to make their own decisions, rather than deciding everything for them.\\nGive your children the chance to make choices on their own. If you have a young child, for instance, you might offer 2-3 outfits and let them chose the one they want to wear, or you might let them pick between several snacks.\\nWhen your children are older, give them choices on things like which extracurricular activities they want to participate in and the friends they want to hang around—as long as you feel like they're safe influences, of course.\\nRemember that your child is not an extension of yourself. Your child is an individual under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be a good role model.\", \"描述\": \"Arguably the most important thing you can do as a parent is to be a good influence. If you expect certain behaviors from your children, you really have to model them yourself. You don't have to be a perfect person, but you should strive to do as you want your children to do, and be willing to admit when you make mistakes.\\nFor instance, if you want your children to be polite and kind, don't yell in traffic or snap at someone who's holding up the line at the grocery store.\\nIf you want to teach kids about charity, take your kids with you to a soup kitchen or homeless shelter and help serve up meals. Explain to them why you do acts of charity so they understand why they should.\\nIf you want your children to do household chores, ask them to help you while you're cleaning around the house. Don't just ask them to clean their room while you sit on the couch.\\nIf you want your kids to get off their digital devices, don't spend a lot of time hooked to your tablet or phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice good manners with your children.\", \"描述\": \"Basic manners will take a person a long way in life, so from the earliest ages, teach your child to say things like, \\\"Please,\\\" \\\"Thank you,\\\" and \\\"Excuse me.\\\" Also teach them about waiting their turn, sharing with others, and how to act in a social situation.\\nRemember, the best way to teach your children manners is to model them yourself!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Encourage your children to have a healthy lifestyle.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to make sure that your children eat healthy food as much as they can, that they get plenty of exercise, and that they get enough rest every night. Don't force them to eat or act a certain way, but do try to provide healthy options instead of filling up the house with junk food, and plan activities for the family that will get everyone up and moving.\\nOne way to encourage them to exercise is to get them to play a sport early on in life, so they find a passion that is also healthy.\\nStart healthy eating habits at a young age. From the time you first start introducing solid foods, offer a variety of age-appropriate fruits and veggies, rather than unhealthy snacks like chips and sweets.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let your children make their own mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Life is a great teacher, so don't be too quick to rescue your child from the results of their own actions. Know that you can't protect your children forever, and they're better off learning life's lessons sooner than later. Though it can be hard to stand back and watch your child make a mistake, this will benefit both you and your child in the long run.\\nFor instance, if your child refuses to wear a jacket, don't force them—they'll realize their mistake when they get cold. However, you can bring the jacket along in case they change their mind.\\nBe reasonable when you're letting them face their own consequences. For instance, sometimes it's better to let your child fall off the couch rather than yelling at them to get down for the 14th time in a row. However, if they're standing on the edge of a cliff, you'd obviously want to intervene.\\nTry not to say, \\\"I told you so,\\\" when your child learns a life lesson on his own. Instead, let your child draw his own conclusions about what happened.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Parenting Teens and Young Adults\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Emphasize moderation and responsibility when it comes to alcohol consumption.\", \"描述\": \"You can start talking about this even when children are young. Explain that they will have to wait until they are old enough to enjoy a drink with friends, and talk about the importance of designated drivers. In addition, be frank with teens about the effects alcohol can have on their brain and body.\\nEncourage your teens to wait until they're legally old enough to drink. Tell them that even then, they should never drink and drive, and assure them that if they're ever impaired, they can call you and you'll make sure they get home safely.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be honest with your children about sex.\", \"描述\": \"If your child has questions about sex, it is important to answer their questions calmly and without embarrassment. If you don't answer their questions, this can leave them uninformed and ashamed, which can harm them later in life. From an early age, talk to your children about their anatomy, including the proper names for their body parts. As they get older, talk to them about puberty, conception, contraception, and the impact sex has on relationships.\\nIt's natural for your child to become curious about their body as they get older. If they come to you with questions, answer them openly, and try not to feel embarrassed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be there for your child all the way into adulthood.\", \"描述\": \"Your parenting will have a life-long effect on your child, and they'll always need your love and affection, even if you're hundreds of miles away. While you won't always be a constant daily presence in your child's life, you should always let your children know that you care about them and that you'll always be there for them.\\nNo matter what age they are, if you have a good relationship with your children, they'll still turn to you for advice.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take a parenting class at your local adult education center to help you feel more confident in your role.[31]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nDeanna Dawson-Jesus, CD (DONA)Birth & Postpartum Doula, Childbirth, & Lactation Educator\\nExpert Interview. 31 July 2020.\\n\", \"While many people will try to give you parenting advice, realize that it's ultimately your decision how you want to raise your child.[32]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nDeanna Dawson-Jesus, CD (DONA)Birth & Postpartum Doula, Childbirth, & Lactation Educator\\nExpert Interview. 31 July 2020.\\n\", \"Use connection as a reward. For instance, you might offer things like extra cuddle time or a few extra minutes playing with you as a way to acknowledge good behavior.[33]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nWits End ParentingParenting Specialists\\nExpert Interview. 11 March 2020.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never over-indulge a child. It can lead to stubborn and irresponsible behavior.\\n\", \"While praising kids, focus on effort and not end results to avoid raising praise-junkies.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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}
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wikihow
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4,492 |
How to Be a Good Parent for Your Teenage Daughter
|
1. Spending Time Together
1-1. Ask her about what she is interested in.
Don't be nosy though, that can really bug your teenage daughter. Also, if she seems like she doesn't want to answer your questions, stop asking and wait for another time, teens can get moody, just like the rest of us. Some examples of questions to ask are:
What is your favorite book?
What is your favorite movie?
What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite song/album/singer/band?
What do you like to do in your spare time?
Where's your favorite place to shop?
What is your favorite animal?
What is your favorite or least favorite food?
Or you can just make up your own questions.
1-2. Encourage and develop good communication with your daughter.
Teenage girls always have the desire to have relationships with boys (or girls), whether it's just friendship or crushing. If your daughter is comfortable with you, she will tell you once she's made a new friend or likes a particular person.
Get to know her, know her weaknesses and strengths and what makes her happy.
Be interested in what she tells you. Do not look worried or angry. Ask her about the person, or even ask to meet them. Then decide whether she should hang out with them or not.
1-3. Give your daughter attention.
Sometimes it is neglect that can make you distant from your daughter. Hug her (not too much, maybe for 5 seconds) and comfort her. Tell her she is beautiful. Heal small hurts at random times every day. If either of you are sad or stressed comfort each other once again.
2. Coping with Challenges
2-1. Accept the fact that she's no longer a kid, she's a teenager, and has different desires.
That's the most important thing a parent should do.
2-2. Be respectful and caring about her interest in having a boyfriend or girlfriend.
If she has a partner, be supportive. Once you've met the partner and gotten to know them, and feel like they're the right sort, you can let her go on dates with them. If you did not feel like the person is trustworthy, tell your daughter the reasons why without exploding or banning the relationship.
2-3. Let her have freedom within caring boundaries.
Give her her own space to grow but also kindly clarify the boundaries. Know that she may sometimes test these boundaries and that is when you need to remind her that she is aware of the boundaries and that they need to restored.
If you disagree with your daughter's choice of clothing, tell her face to face. Be reasonable. Talk to her about the problems with how clothing can be suggestive and the things that certain people may assume of some types of clothing.
2-4. Do your best to not be the kind of parent whom your daughter would want to turn to when she's in a fix.
In other words, never be the type of parent whom your daughter would be scared of.
3. Other Ways to Care for Your Teen Daughter
3-1. Do random acts of kindness for your daughter.
Even though she may pretend she doesn't like it when you clean her room, she really does. Some random acts you could do are:
Cleaning her room/bathroom
Cooking her an unforgettably tasty meal
Buying her some make up you think she would like
Buying her some clothes/jewelry she would enjoy
3-2. Trust your teen daughter.
Let your daughter know you trust her. And actually do trust her. Once she sees that you find her trustworthy, she will feel more likely to trust you.
3-3. Remember her birthdays and respect the things that are important to her.
In this way, you will be respected too.
Make each of her birthdays extra special, by taking trips, or by having amazing parties.
3-4. Take your teen daughter places.
Take her somewhere she would like, for example to the mall or a music concert.
Take your daughter to places she has never heard of before and see if she finds new hobbies and good new experiences.
Take her shopping at her favorite stores.
Tips
Respect her friends, and be nice to them.
Everything depends on the parenting ways. It should be right and correct, or your daughter will become exactly the opposite of what you tried to make her become.
Keep in mind that if your daughter is brought up by parents whom she's comfortable with and parents who give freedom, she would not hide anything from you or would not dress inappropriately.
Warnings
Don't overwork her into a whole bunch of after school activities she needs her rest.
Don't follow her where ever she goes. Trust her. Giver her freedom.
Let her be very comfortable with you.
Don't judge her or her friends.
Never scold her in front of others.
Do not tell her to try to be more like someone else.
Don't be clingy, your daughter may feel uncomfortable.
Never expect too much of her.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Spending Time Together\\n1-1. Ask her about what she is interested in.\\nDon't be nosy though, that can really bug your teenage daughter. Also, if she seems like she doesn't want to answer your questions, stop asking and wait for another time, teens can get moody, just like the rest of us. Some examples of questions to ask are:\\nWhat is your favorite book?\\nWhat is your favorite movie?\\nWhat is your favorite color?\\nWhat is your favorite song/album/singer/band?\\nWhat do you like to do in your spare time?\\nWhere's your favorite place to shop?\\nWhat is your favorite animal?\\nWhat is your favorite or least favorite food?\\nOr you can just make up your own questions.\\n1-2. Encourage and develop good communication with your daughter.\\nTeenage girls always have the desire to have relationships with boys (or girls), whether it's just friendship or crushing. If your daughter is comfortable with you, she will tell you once she's made a new friend or likes a particular person.\\n\\nGet to know her, know her weaknesses and strengths and what makes her happy.\\nBe interested in what she tells you. Do not look worried or angry. Ask her about the person, or even ask to meet them. Then decide whether she should hang out with them or not.\\n1-3. Give your daughter attention.\\nSometimes it is neglect that can make you distant from your daughter. Hug her (not too much, maybe for 5 seconds) and comfort her. Tell her she is beautiful. Heal small hurts at random times every day. If either of you are sad or stressed comfort each other once again.\\n2. Coping with Challenges\\n2-1. Accept the fact that she's no longer a kid, she's a teenager, and has different desires.\\nThat's the most important thing a parent should do.\\n2-2. Be respectful and caring about her interest in having a boyfriend or girlfriend.\\nIf she has a partner, be supportive. Once you've met the partner and gotten to know them, and feel like they're the right sort, you can let her go on dates with them. If you did not feel like the person is trustworthy, tell your daughter the reasons why without exploding or banning the relationship.\\n2-3. Let her have freedom within caring boundaries.\\nGive her her own space to grow but also kindly clarify the boundaries. Know that she may sometimes test these boundaries and that is when you need to remind her that she is aware of the boundaries and that they need to restored.\\nIf you disagree with your daughter's choice of clothing, tell her face to face. Be reasonable. Talk to her about the problems with how clothing can be suggestive and the things that certain people may assume of some types of clothing.\\n2-4. Do your best to not be the kind of parent whom your daughter would want to turn to when she's in a fix.\\nIn other words, never be the type of parent whom your daughter would be scared of.\\n3. Other Ways to Care for Your Teen Daughter\\n3-1. Do random acts of kindness for your daughter.\\nEven though she may pretend she doesn't like it when you clean her room, she really does. Some random acts you could do are:\\nCleaning her room/bathroom\\nCooking her an unforgettably tasty meal\\nBuying her some make up you think she would like\\nBuying her some clothes/jewelry she would enjoy\\n3-2. Trust your teen daughter.\\nLet your daughter know you trust her. And actually do trust her. Once she sees that you find her trustworthy, she will feel more likely to trust you.\\n3-3. Remember her birthdays and respect the things that are important to her.\\nIn this way, you will be respected too.\\nMake each of her birthdays extra special, by taking trips, or by having amazing parties.\\n3-4. Take your teen daughter places.\\nTake her somewhere she would like, for example to the mall or a music concert.\\nTake your daughter to places she has never heard of before and see if she finds new hobbies and good new experiences.\\nTake her shopping at her favorite stores.\\nTips\\nRespect her friends, and be nice to them.\\nEverything depends on the parenting ways. It should be right and correct, or your daughter will become exactly the opposite of what you tried to make her become.\\nKeep in mind that if your daughter is brought up by parents whom she's comfortable with and parents who give freedom, she would not hide anything from you or would not dress inappropriately.\\nWarnings\\nDon't overwork her into a whole bunch of after school activities she needs her rest.\\nDon't follow her where ever she goes. Trust her. Giver her freedom.\\nLet her be very comfortable with you.\\nDon't judge her or her friends.\\nNever scold her in front of others.\\nDo not tell her to try to be more like someone else.\\nDon't be clingy, your daughter may feel uncomfortable.\\nNever expect too much of her.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Once the teen years hit, you might start wondering, \\\"What does it mean to be a good parent to a teen?\\\" As your teenage daughter goes through a huge wave of physical, emotional, and social changes, it's normal for your relationship with her to get a little strained and face new challenges. But during these important years, good parenting is more important than ever before. We'll show you how to give your teenage daughter the support and structure she needs while building a stronger relationship with her along the way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spending Time Together\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her about what she is interested in.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be nosy though, that can really bug your teenage daughter. Also, if she seems like she doesn't want to answer your questions, stop asking and wait for another time, teens can get moody, just like the rest of us. Some examples of questions to ask are:\\nWhat is your favorite book?\\nWhat is your favorite movie?\\nWhat is your favorite color?\\nWhat is your favorite song/album/singer/band?\\nWhat do you like to do in your spare time?\\nWhere's your favorite place to shop?\\nWhat is your favorite animal?\\nWhat is your favorite or least favorite food?\\nOr you can just make up your own questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Encourage and develop good communication with your daughter.\", \"描述\": \"Teenage girls always have the desire to have relationships with boys (or girls), whether it's just friendship or crushing. If your daughter is comfortable with you, she will tell you once she's made a new friend or likes a particular person.\\n\\nGet to know her, know her weaknesses and strengths and what makes her happy.\\nBe interested in what she tells you. Do not look worried or angry. Ask her about the person, or even ask to meet them. Then decide whether she should hang out with them or not.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give your daughter attention.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it is neglect that can make you distant from your daughter. Hug her (not too much, maybe for 5 seconds) and comfort her. Tell her she is beautiful. Heal small hurts at random times every day. If either of you are sad or stressed comfort each other once again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Coping with Challenges\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept the fact that she's no longer a kid, she's a teenager, and has different desires.\", \"描述\": \"That's the most important thing a parent should do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be respectful and caring about her interest in having a boyfriend or girlfriend.\", \"描述\": \"If she has a partner, be supportive. Once you've met the partner and gotten to know them, and feel like they're the right sort, you can let her go on dates with them. If you did not feel like the person is trustworthy, tell your daughter the reasons why without exploding or banning the relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let her have freedom within caring boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"Give her her own space to grow but also kindly clarify the boundaries. Know that she may sometimes test these boundaries and that is when you need to remind her that she is aware of the boundaries and that they need to restored.\\nIf you disagree with your daughter's choice of clothing, tell her face to face. Be reasonable. Talk to her about the problems with how clothing can be suggestive and the things that certain people may assume of some types of clothing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do your best to not be the kind of parent whom your daughter would want to turn to when she's in a fix.\", \"描述\": \"In other words, never be the type of parent whom your daughter would be scared of.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Other Ways to Care for Your Teen Daughter\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do random acts of kindness for your daughter.\", \"描述\": \"Even though she may pretend she doesn't like it when you clean her room, she really does. Some random acts you could do are:\\nCleaning her room/bathroom\\nCooking her an unforgettably tasty meal\\nBuying her some make up you think she would like\\nBuying her some clothes/jewelry she would enjoy\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Trust your teen daughter.\", \"描述\": \"Let your daughter know you trust her. And actually do trust her. Once she sees that you find her trustworthy, she will feel more likely to trust you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remember her birthdays and respect the things that are important to her.\", \"描述\": \"In this way, you will be respected too.\\nMake each of her birthdays extra special, by taking trips, or by having amazing parties.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take your teen daughter places.\", \"描述\": \"Take her somewhere she would like, for example to the mall or a music concert.\\nTake your daughter to places she has never heard of before and see if she finds new hobbies and good new experiences.\\nTake her shopping at her favorite stores.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Respect her friends, and be nice to them.\\n\", \"Everything depends on the parenting ways. It should be right and correct, or your daughter will become exactly the opposite of what you tried to make her become.\\n\", \"Keep in mind that if your daughter is brought up by parents whom she's comfortable with and parents who give freedom, she would not hide anything from you or would not dress inappropriately.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't overwork her into a whole bunch of after school activities she needs her rest.\\n\", \"Don't follow her where ever she goes. Trust her. Giver her freedom.\\n\", \"Let her be very comfortable with you.\\n\", \"Don't judge her or her friends.\\n\", \"Never scold her in front of others.\\n\", \"Do not tell her to try to be more like someone else.\\n\", \"Don't be clingy, your daughter may feel uncomfortable.\\n\", \"Never expect too much of her.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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4,493 |
How to Be a Good Pastor
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1. Steps
1-1. Conquer the tyranny of selfishness.
The heart of a pastor must be driven by a sincere love for God and a selfless love for others.
A good pastor is free from the fear of men. A self-centered pastor will be constantly concerned about what people think of him and how he can impress people.
A good pastor imitates the selflessness of Christ Jesus. A self-centered pastor is a taker, not a giver. He is motivated by "what is in this for me" instead of "what would God have me do". A self-focused pastor will preach his own opinions, shaping the meaning of the Scripture in order to impose his human will upon the listeners.
Jesus told us that a follower must deny self."And He was saying to them all, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.'" Luke 9:23 New American Standard Bible (NASB) Therefore, a pastor who places his own interest ahead of the interests of his flock will never guide them to be true followers of Jesus.
1-2. Devote yourself to live in the presence of God.
A good pastor must prioritize time to spend with God every day.
A pastor's personal prayers must not be filled up by requests for God to go and do something for me. Rather, personal prayers are asking God to create a right heart within me so that God can work me... not work me.
Find a quiet place of solitude that is appropriate for listening to the Holy Spirit. This may be kneeling in a traditional prayer closet or prayer-walking through your neighborhood: whatever allows you to be alone with God. Don't bring work or other unnecessary distractions. Read Scripture. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal Jesus in a deeper way. Meditate on what God is speaking to you. It may be helpful to keep a private journal.
The time that you spend preparing your heart in quiet will create a stronger bond to the heart and mind of God and you will experience His abiding presence the remainder of the day as you conduct your duties as a good pastor.
1-3. Lead by example.
"Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock." 1st Peter 5:1-3 (NASB)
A good pastor will live the Gospel before he preaches it. Without faithfulness outside the pulpit, preaching is a bunch of empty words. Those who preach the Word and don't live by it bring a bad reputation upon the Truth. You can't hide how you live. Be a wise pastor and build your life on the rock: hear God's Word and put it into action. "“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock." Matthew 7:24,25 [NASB]
1-4. Be a life-long student of the Bible.
"Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth." 2nd Timothy 2:15 [NASB]
A good pastor knows how to conduct an inductive Bible study.
A good pastor knows how to prepare an expository sermon.
Create a personal library. There are many good Bible study resources that are available as digital books. Lookup time is reduced so that you can spend more time reading. Many resources can be obtained at no cost or greatly reduced cost compared to paper books.
1-5. Know the condition of your flock.
"And pay attention to your herds; for riches are not forever, nor does a crown endure to all generations. When the grass disappears, the new growth is seen, and the herbs of the mountains are gathered in, the lambs will be for your clothing, and the goats will bring the price of a field, and there will be goats’ milk enough for your food, for the food of your household, and sustenance for your maidens." Proverbs 27:23-27 [NASB]
"Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood." Acts 20:28 [NASB]
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Conquer the tyranny of selfishness.\\nThe heart of a pastor must be driven by a sincere love for God and a selfless love for others.\\nA good pastor is free from the fear of men. A self-centered pastor will be constantly concerned about what people think of him and how he can impress people.\\nA good pastor imitates the selflessness of Christ Jesus. A self-centered pastor is a taker, not a giver. He is motivated by \\\"what is in this for me\\\" instead of \\\"what would God have me do\\\". A self-focused pastor will preach his own opinions, shaping the meaning of the Scripture in order to impose his human will upon the listeners.\\nJesus told us that a follower must deny self.\\\"And He was saying to them all, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.'\\\" Luke 9:23 New American Standard Bible (NASB) Therefore, a pastor who places his own interest ahead of the interests of his flock will never guide them to be true followers of Jesus.\\n1-2. Devote yourself to live in the presence of God.\\nA good pastor must prioritize time to spend with God every day.\\nA pastor's personal prayers must not be filled up by requests for God to go and do something for me. Rather, personal prayers are asking God to create a right heart within me so that God can work me... not work me.\\nFind a quiet place of solitude that is appropriate for listening to the Holy Spirit. This may be kneeling in a traditional prayer closet or prayer-walking through your neighborhood: whatever allows you to be alone with God. Don't bring work or other unnecessary distractions. Read Scripture. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal Jesus in a deeper way. Meditate on what God is speaking to you. It may be helpful to keep a private journal.\\nThe time that you spend preparing your heart in quiet will create a stronger bond to the heart and mind of God and you will experience His abiding presence the remainder of the day as you conduct your duties as a good pastor.\\n1-3. Lead by example.\\n\\\"Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.\\\" 1st Peter 5:1-3 (NASB)\\nA good pastor will live the Gospel before he preaches it. Without faithfulness outside the pulpit, preaching is a bunch of empty words. Those who preach the Word and don't live by it bring a bad reputation upon the Truth. You can't hide how you live. Be a wise pastor and build your life on the rock: hear God's Word and put it into action. \\\"“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.\\\" Matthew 7:24,25 [NASB]\\n1-4. Be a life-long student of the Bible.\\n\\\"Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.\\\" 2nd Timothy 2:15 [NASB]\\nA good pastor knows how to conduct an inductive Bible study.\\nA good pastor knows how to prepare an expository sermon.\\nCreate a personal library. There are many good Bible study resources that are available as digital books. Lookup time is reduced so that you can spend more time reading. Many resources can be obtained at no cost or greatly reduced cost compared to paper books.\\n1-5. Know the condition of your flock.\\n\\\"And pay attention to your herds; for riches are not forever, nor does a crown endure to all generations. When the grass disappears, the new growth is seen, and the herbs of the mountains are gathered in, the lambs will be for your clothing, and the goats will bring the price of a field, and there will be goats’ milk enough for your food, for the food of your household, and sustenance for your maidens.\\\" Proverbs 27:23-27 [NASB]\\n\\\"Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.\\\" Acts 20:28 [NASB]\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The pastor of a Christian fellowship must do more than preach a Sunday sermon. He must set an example for believers to follow. This article is not a description of pastoral duties, but offers a general and practical look at the personal qualities of good pastor.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Conquer the tyranny of selfishness.\", \"描述\": \"The heart of a pastor must be driven by a sincere love for God and a selfless love for others.\\nA good pastor is free from the fear of men. A self-centered pastor will be constantly concerned about what people think of him and how he can impress people.\\nA good pastor imitates the selflessness of Christ Jesus. A self-centered pastor is a taker, not a giver. He is motivated by \\\"what is in this for me\\\" instead of \\\"what would God have me do\\\". A self-focused pastor will preach his own opinions, shaping the meaning of the Scripture in order to impose his human will upon the listeners.\\nJesus told us that a follower must deny self.\\\"And He was saying to them all, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.'\\\" Luke 9:23 New American Standard Bible (NASB) Therefore, a pastor who places his own interest ahead of the interests of his flock will never guide them to be true followers of Jesus.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Devote yourself to live in the presence of God.\", \"描述\": \"A good pastor must prioritize time to spend with God every day.\\nA pastor's personal prayers must not be filled up by requests for God to go and do something for me. Rather, personal prayers are asking God to create a right heart within me so that God can work me... not work me.\\nFind a quiet place of solitude that is appropriate for listening to the Holy Spirit. This may be kneeling in a traditional prayer closet or prayer-walking through your neighborhood: whatever allows you to be alone with God. Don't bring work or other unnecessary distractions. Read Scripture. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal Jesus in a deeper way. Meditate on what God is speaking to you. It may be helpful to keep a private journal.\\nThe time that you spend preparing your heart in quiet will create a stronger bond to the heart and mind of God and you will experience His abiding presence the remainder of the day as you conduct your duties as a good pastor.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Lead by example.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.\\\" 1st Peter 5:1-3 (NASB)\\nA good pastor will live the Gospel before he preaches it. Without faithfulness outside the pulpit, preaching is a bunch of empty words. Those who preach the Word and don't live by it bring a bad reputation upon the Truth. You can't hide how you live. Be a wise pastor and build your life on the rock: hear God's Word and put it into action. \\\"“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.\\\" Matthew 7:24,25 [NASB]\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be a life-long student of the Bible.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.\\\" 2nd Timothy 2:15 [NASB]\\nA good pastor knows how to conduct an inductive Bible study.\\nA good pastor knows how to prepare an expository sermon.\\nCreate a personal library. There are many good Bible study resources that are available as digital books. Lookup time is reduced so that you can spend more time reading. Many resources can be obtained at no cost or greatly reduced cost compared to paper books.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know the condition of your flock.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"And pay attention to your herds; for riches are not forever, nor does a crown endure to all generations. When the grass disappears, the new growth is seen, and the herbs of the mountains are gathered in, the lambs will be for your clothing, and the goats will bring the price of a field, and there will be goats’ milk enough for your food, for the food of your household, and sustenance for your maidens.\\\" Proverbs 27:23-27 [NASB]\\n\\\"Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.\\\" Acts 20:28 [NASB]\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,494 |
How to Be a Good Person
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1. Improving Yourself
1-1. Determine what being a good person means to you personally.
Some people think that being a good person is as simple as not doing harm to another. But it is not always about what you don't do, but what you do for others. Being a good person also includes helping yourself as much as others. You have to decide what you believe being a good person entails.
What is your ideal person? Make a list of traits that you believe make up a good, ideal person. Start living your life according to these traits.
Are you waiting for something in return? Are you doing things because it will help you look good? Or are you doing things because you truly want to give and help? Stop putting up airs and adopt the attitude of giving without expectation of receiving anything in return.
Being good does not mean only by outer goodness. You have to consider being good straight from the heart (i.e., purely). Ultimately, you have to decide on your own code of ethics, and what matters is that you follow through with what you believe makes you a good person. At times, this may conflict with what others believe is good, and they might even accuse you of being wrong or evil. Consider their views - either they know something you don't, in which case you may learn something from them and update your morality, or perhaps their experience is limited, meaning that you should take their views with a grain of salt.
1-2. Choose a role model.
Having a role model provides you with an example of someone to correspond to. This person should have traits that you want to attain. Think of ways that you can better embody the qualities you admire. Think of how to apply those qualities in your work, creative pursuits, personal relationships, diet, and lifestyle.
Who do you look up to and why? How are they making the world a better place to live in, and how can you do the same?
What qualities do you admire in them, and how can you develop the same ones?
Keep your role model close to you, like a friendly spirit that is always at your side. Think of how they would respond to a question or circumstance, and how you should respond in the same manner.
Ask your loved ones and people your trust for their input about how you can improve. They may recognize things you might not notice.
Check in with your loved ones often and ask them if there are still ways you can become a better person.
1-3. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Try to understand that some have it better than you, but many have it much worse. When we make ourselves miserable by comparing ourselves with others, we are wasting time and energy that we could use in building our own inner resources. Compliment yourself every morning. Being happy makes you a more positive person, which helps you put those positive vibes out into the world.
You have your own unique gifts and talents. Focus on sharing them with the world instead of focusing on the gifts of another.
1-4. Love yourself.
Learn to love yourself in every way. Practice unconditional self-acceptance. The only way you can truly love others is to first have confidence and love yourself. What you do and what you believe must make you feel good as well as others. If you try to do things for others without taking care of yourself, you can end up resentful, angry, and negative. If you love yourself, then you will make a positive impact when you help others.
Are you superficially acting like a good person? If you are self-loathing and angry on the inside, you may not be a good person despite all your outward actions.
1-5. Be yourself.
Remember to be yourself always and never someone who you're not. Don't try to be like somebody else; just be yourself and do good things as simply as you can. Being yourself helps you be a genuine person who can reflect positivity into the world. Staying true to yourself helps you find focus and understand your core values and what you find important.
Be good for its own sake. Don't try to be a good person because your parents told you to, because you want recognition or respect, or for any kind of reward except your own satisfaction in doing what you believe is good. Never act superior to anyone else or brag about your "goodness" or "righteousness". Your dedication to a particular creed, ideology, or set of guidelines does not make you better than anyone else. Do what you believe makes you a good person on your own terms, and remember that it's an individual journey - everyone's path is unique. "Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame." — Alexander Pope.
1-6. Pray
Praying to a higher power or meditating can help cultivate the qualities you seek to embody. Meditation and prayer can help you find inner peace and focus on your inner self. As you increase your self-awareness, you understand what you really want and find clarity in your life. As you gain inner peace, you feel more positive, which helps you become a better person.
Find a private, safe space free from distractions. Sit in a comfortable position. Clear your mind from all thoughts and take a few deep, slow breaths. Observe the thoughts in your head. Don't feel or react, just observe. If your focus breaks, just count to ten. Meditate until you feel cleansed and rejuvenated.
1-7. Make small changes.
Take a moment to reflect and recognize the things you need to change to be the best version of yourself. No one can change immediately. But even small changes can make an enormous and positive difference. Set small goals every month or two and focus on one or two key habits which you want to change.
An example for Goal 1: I will listen to others without interrupting at all either verbally or in any other way. Think of how annoying it can be for you when the other person begins to move the lips as if they are about to intervene.
Goal 2: I will do my best to think of what things would make another person happy. This could be sharing your food or drink with others when they are hungry or thirsty, letting someone else sit where you want to sit or something else.
1-8. Review your goals every day.
To start your mission to become a good person, make and read a list of your ideals every day. Make it a part of you. Follow the guidelines and add some of your own steps as well.
2. Having a Positive Attitude
2-1. Try to look at the bright side of things.
Bring a positive attitude to every situation. Negativity only hurts yourself and others. If you are negative, it has an impact on the way you treat others. Our mentality can influence the achievements of our days. If something doesn't turn your way, try to change what you can, smile, stay positive, and move on.
The Motto of the Christophers says: "It is better to light a single candle than it is to curse the darkness." Be that light. When you see controversy, try to be the one who changes the subject by suggesting a solution. Don't state what you would do, but ask everyone to get involved.
2-2. Do an act of charity for someone else.
Try to do something nice for someone every day, even if it's something small. An act of kindness and generosity can have a great influence. Smile, hold the door open for someone, pay it forward at the drive through - just try to do something to make someone's day.
Even reach out to people who have been cold or indifferent to you. Show someone who is rude to you the example of your kindness. Maybe people have always been rude to them. Be the person who shows them kindness instead.
2-3. Make a point to make the world a better place every time you leave the place of your dwelling.
Every time you interact with the world you have an opportunity to do something good and positive. It does not have to be something big, but can be something like picking up some trash that someone threw down in a local park or in front of your neighbor's home. Be conscientious and find a way to give back to the world. Easy ways to make a positive change include:
Recycling
Buying organic and locally grown food
Being a responsible pet owner by cleaning up after your pets
Donating old items to shelters or charitable organizations instead of a thrift store
Putting items back in the store where you got them instead of leaving them
Not taking the closest parking space so you leave it for someone who needs it more
2-4. Slow down.
Don't be in a hurry in life. Slow down and enjoy the simple things. Time is a medium that helps us organize our days. Sometimes you have to follow the timetable, like when you're on your way to work or getting your kids to school. But if you have no time commitments, learn to live in the moment. Be patient with people. Think the best about them instead of the worst. Don't think the person who bumped past you is a jerk; instead, understand that he or she may be late for work or to pick up their child.
Don't be in a hurry to get to the store and get back. Enjoy the scenery as you pass by. While in the store, notice all the fine and colorful fruits and vegetables that are there for your nourishment, and realize that others are not as fortunate to enjoy the same benefits. Buy some extra nourishing food to give to the food bank to help feed others. Suggest to the manager there should be a food drop off sold at discount somewhere in the store for the poor.
Only use the car horn in an emergency situation. Don't blow it at a little old man that can barely see over the wheel or someone driving extremely slow. Realize the driver may be taking his/her time so he/she doesn't injure him/herself or someone else. If they rush past you, understand that they may be in a hurry for something important. Even if they are not, why add to already negative feelings? Anger only begets anger.
2-5. Practice forgiveness.
Forgiving someone can be a difficult task. Realizing that people are human and make mistakes helps you let go of negativity so you can forgive the person and move on. When you forgive, you let go of resentment that can cause anger, bitterness, and turmoil. Forgiveness also makes you more compassionate towards others.
2-6. Be honest.
Lying violates trust and destroys relationships. Instead of lying, be honest with those around you. Good people are honest and direct with what they're feeling and thinking. Talk to those people who are bothering you, instead of lying or getting others involved. Don't be passive-aggressive.
Have integrity. Make your word mean something. If you say you are going to do something, then follow through on that promise. If circumstances arise that make it so you can't do it, be honest and direct and let the person know.
Being honest doesn't mean being rude or cruel.
2-7. Make these small gestures a daily habit.
Doing simple things, such as smiling at someone or holding the door open for a stranger, will help you become a better person. Soon enough, these small acts of kindness will become a habit that you don't even have to think about.
2-8. Be empathetic.
Understand that being kind, understanding, and compassionate in how you treat others is largely the result of having a loving and caring attitude towards others. Try to put yourself in other's shoes and see things from their perspective. Ask yourself, "How would I feel if I were the other person?" You will likely act with the other person's feelings in mind. This will show in your words and actions. Be kind not so you look good to others, but more so others may benefit from your selfless acts.
It doesn't work very well if you are merely trying to be diplomatic. Don't adopt a policy like, "Anything for a quiet life."
3. Interacting With Others
3-1. Accept
Part of being a good person is not being judgmental. You accept everyone, no matter what race, age, sexual orientation, gender identity, or culture they are. Realize that everybody has feelings, every person is valid, and everyone should always be treated with respect.
Be respectful of elderly people. Realize that you will be old someday and may need a helping hand. Next time you go to a mall, parking lot, or anywhere, look for an old person struggling with something, like carrying bags or loading groceries into their car. Ask, "May I help you with that?" You will be doing a great service for seniors. Sometimes you may get one who will reject your offer; simply say, "I understand, and I wish you a good day." Or when you are out and see an old person alone, say hello with an amiable smile and ask how they are doing. Just acknowledging someone can make their day.
Be compassionate towards intellectually disabled people. They are people with feelings too. Give them a big smile and treat them like a person. If other people are smiling or laughing with your interaction with them, ignore them and keep your attention on the person who is your true friend.
Don't be racist, homophobic, or intolerant of other religions. The world is a large place full of diversity. Learn from others and celebrate differences.
3-2. Control your anger.
When you argue with someone, try to control your anger. Don't hide or be rude when you are in an argument with a friend. Talk to them and work it out. It is best not to fight fire with fire, perhaps suggesting that the both of you take some time to think it over. Say, "I want to resolve this with you because you are such a good friend. Let's take time and think this out."
Don't blame others. Accept what is your fault, talk to others about what they have done to upset you. But blaming others fosters negativity and resentment.
If you can't let go of your anger, try writing down your feelings, meditating, or managing your thoughts.
Don't try to correct people when they're angry by saying something irrational. Just listen with compassion and remain quiet. Say to them, "I'm sorry you feel this way, is there anything I can do to help?"
3-3. Compliment
Saying nice things to people is an easy way to spread positivity. Compliment a co-workers new haircut or a stranger's dog. Compliment friends who you might be jealous of. Giving credit where due is respectful, and you would want the same respect for an achievement you've accomplished.
3-4. Be a better listener.
People rarely take the time to listen to people. Everyone wants to feel important and like they matter. Take the time to listen to people. Follow what the person is saying. Don't get distracted by what's going on around you or play on your cell phone. Be engaged with the person and the conversation. Ask some follow up questions on the topic; this helps them know that you're paying attention to them.
3-5. Celebrate other people's victories and good qualities.
Be kind and generous to others, liking them for who they are. Celebrate others when good things happen and don't be jealous. Be supportive and encouraging.
Jealousy is hard to overcome. Try to realize that you don't have to have the same things as everyone else. Try to stop feeling jealous of other people.
3-6. Be a role model
Sometimes, you can learn best by teaching. Make yourself available to help other people and foster a genuine desire to see them thrive. Believe in the power of your actions to influence others. Live your life in a way that inspires others. Share your life and philosophies with others. Find someone to be a role model to. Be cautious of the way you live so that you will always be acting in a way that will make someone proud. Give the young good moral values to live by and teach them the importance of morals. Sometimes you will feel as if your effort was in vain, but realize that you have planted the good seed in their minds, and it may take some time to respond to it.
When other people see you doing good deeds, they will be reminded to take more positive action themselves. Nurturing someone else and striving to be an example can help you see your own acts more clearly.
Start small. Join a Big Brother-Big Sister program, volunteer to coach a kid's sports team, teach, or be a role model for young family members.
3-7. Share.
Share your possessions, your positivity, and your happiness. Don't be emotionally stingy. Be generous and encouraging. Share your knowledge. Share opportunities. Share your time.
Share your food with others. Never take the biggest slice of pizza or piece of meat, or if you absolutely must do so, split it with others.
3-8. Respect everyone.
Be fair to all people. Treat everyone with kindness, and do not be mean or rude to people, even if they don't agree with you. Do not bully, but instead, stand up for the bullied.
Don't talk about others behind their backs. Be a genuine person. If you have a problem with someone, confront them in a respectful way. Don't spread bad things about them when they are not around.
Don't unfairly judge people. You don't know the circumstances surrounding them. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and respect their choices.
Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. Remember the golden rule. Put the energy out into the universe you'd like to receive.
Respect extends to your surroundings, too. Don't throw trash on the floor, don't purposefully mess up things, and don't talk too loud or be obnoxious. Respect that other people share the same space as you.
Tips
You may make mistakes, but never repeat the same mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and help yourself grow stronger as a person.
Remember, happiness is a state of mind. The only thing in the world that we can control is ourselves, so choose to be happy and control yourself by purposely maintaining a positive mental attitude.
When people attempt to put you down, don't talk back or take it to heart. Instead, laugh or shrug it off, or simply say you're sorry they feel this way. This will show you are too smart to sink down to their level and will prevent you from being harsh, aggressive, and a bad person. Not to mention, when they see how well you handle the situation, even your aggressors may back off or lose their interest in insulting you.
Warnings
Recognize that you may find it more difficult to be kind and understanding in practice than in theory - just keep working at it.
The areas relating to others which you could most likely improve in are quite possibly the ones which you are least willing to admit that you are wrong in; that's exactly why you can benefit so much from facing that you may be wrong or out of line in how you relate to or treat others.
As much as possible, seek to have a sense of humor about these things - both with regards to the mistakes you've made and the sacrifices you anticipate you will need to make to be nice.
Remember that you are still human - for as long as you live, you will have a tendency to sometimes make mistakes; that's okay. Everyone makes them. Do the best you can, and if you occasionally make mistakes or are not as nice as you'd like to be, just bring yourself back to focusing on thinking of others as much as yourself.
If someone asks you for help and it involves doing what they should do alone never do it! It's cheating and simply teaches the person that cheating is fine.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Improving Yourself\\n1-1. Determine what being a good person means to you personally.\\nSome people think that being a good person is as simple as not doing harm to another. But it is not always about what you don't do, but what you do for others. Being a good person also includes helping yourself as much as others. You have to decide what you believe being a good person entails.\\nWhat is your ideal person? Make a list of traits that you believe make up a good, ideal person. Start living your life according to these traits.\\nAre you waiting for something in return? Are you doing things because it will help you look good? Or are you doing things because you truly want to give and help? Stop putting up airs and adopt the attitude of giving without expectation of receiving anything in return.\\nBeing good does not mean only by outer goodness. You have to consider being good straight from the heart (i.e., purely). Ultimately, you have to decide on your own code of ethics, and what matters is that you follow through with what you believe makes you a good person. At times, this may conflict with what others believe is good, and they might even accuse you of being wrong or evil. Consider their views - either they know something you don't, in which case you may learn something from them and update your morality, or perhaps their experience is limited, meaning that you should take their views with a grain of salt.\\n1-2. Choose a role model.\\nHaving a role model provides you with an example of someone to correspond to. This person should have traits that you want to attain. Think of ways that you can better embody the qualities you admire. Think of how to apply those qualities in your work, creative pursuits, personal relationships, diet, and lifestyle.\\nWho do you look up to and why? How are they making the world a better place to live in, and how can you do the same?\\nWhat qualities do you admire in them, and how can you develop the same ones?\\nKeep your role model close to you, like a friendly spirit that is always at your side. Think of how they would respond to a question or circumstance, and how you should respond in the same manner.\\nAsk your loved ones and people your trust for their input about how you can improve. They may recognize things you might not notice.\\nCheck in with your loved ones often and ask them if there are still ways you can become a better person.\\n1-3. Stop comparing yourself to others.\\nTry to understand that some have it better than you, but many have it much worse. When we make ourselves miserable by comparing ourselves with others, we are wasting time and energy that we could use in building our own inner resources. Compliment yourself every morning. Being happy makes you a more positive person, which helps you put those positive vibes out into the world.\\nYou have your own unique gifts and talents. Focus on sharing them with the world instead of focusing on the gifts of another.\\n1-4. Love yourself.\\nLearn to love yourself in every way. Practice unconditional self-acceptance. The only way you can truly love others is to first have confidence and love yourself. What you do and what you believe must make you feel good as well as others. If you try to do things for others without taking care of yourself, you can end up resentful, angry, and negative. If you love yourself, then you will make a positive impact when you help others.\\nAre you superficially acting like a good person? If you are self-loathing and angry on the inside, you may not be a good person despite all your outward actions.\\n1-5. Be yourself.\\nRemember to be yourself always and never someone who you're not. Don't try to be like somebody else; just be yourself and do good things as simply as you can. Being yourself helps you be a genuine person who can reflect positivity into the world. Staying true to yourself helps you find focus and understand your core values and what you find important.\\nBe good for its own sake. Don't try to be a good person because your parents told you to, because you want recognition or respect, or for any kind of reward except your own satisfaction in doing what you believe is good. Never act superior to anyone else or brag about your \\\"goodness\\\" or \\\"righteousness\\\". Your dedication to a particular creed, ideology, or set of guidelines does not make you better than anyone else. Do what you believe makes you a good person on your own terms, and remember that it's an individual journey - everyone's path is unique. \\\"Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame.\\\" — Alexander Pope.\\n1-6. Pray\\nPraying to a higher power or meditating can help cultivate the qualities you seek to embody. Meditation and prayer can help you find inner peace and focus on your inner self. As you increase your self-awareness, you understand what you really want and find clarity in your life. As you gain inner peace, you feel more positive, which helps you become a better person.\\nFind a private, safe space free from distractions. Sit in a comfortable position. Clear your mind from all thoughts and take a few deep, slow breaths. Observe the thoughts in your head. Don't feel or react, just observe. If your focus breaks, just count to ten. Meditate until you feel cleansed and rejuvenated.\\n1-7. Make small changes.\\nTake a moment to reflect and recognize the things you need to change to be the best version of yourself. No one can change immediately. But even small changes can make an enormous and positive difference. Set small goals every month or two and focus on one or two key habits which you want to change.\\nAn example for Goal 1: I will listen to others without interrupting at all either verbally or in any other way. Think of how annoying it can be for you when the other person begins to move the lips as if they are about to intervene.\\nGoal 2: I will do my best to think of what things would make another person happy. This could be sharing your food or drink with others when they are hungry or thirsty, letting someone else sit where you want to sit or something else.\\n1-8. Review your goals every day.\\nTo start your mission to become a good person, make and read a list of your ideals every day. Make it a part of you. Follow the guidelines and add some of your own steps as well.\\n2. Having a Positive Attitude\\n2-1. Try to look at the bright side of things.\\nBring a positive attitude to every situation. Negativity only hurts yourself and others. If you are negative, it has an impact on the way you treat others. Our mentality can influence the achievements of our days. If something doesn't turn your way, try to change what you can, smile, stay positive, and move on.\\nThe Motto of the Christophers says: \\\"It is better to light a single candle than it is to curse the darkness.\\\" Be that light. When you see controversy, try to be the one who changes the subject by suggesting a solution. Don't state what you would do, but ask everyone to get involved.\\n2-2. Do an act of charity for someone else.\\nTry to do something nice for someone every day, even if it's something small. An act of kindness and generosity can have a great influence. Smile, hold the door open for someone, pay it forward at the drive through - just try to do something to make someone's day.\\nEven reach out to people who have been cold or indifferent to you. Show someone who is rude to you the example of your kindness. Maybe people have always been rude to them. Be the person who shows them kindness instead.\\n2-3. Make a point to make the world a better place every time you leave the place of your dwelling.\\nEvery time you interact with the world you have an opportunity to do something good and positive. It does not have to be something big, but can be something like picking up some trash that someone threw down in a local park or in front of your neighbor's home. Be conscientious and find a way to give back to the world. Easy ways to make a positive change include:\\nRecycling\\nBuying organic and locally grown food\\nBeing a responsible pet owner by cleaning up after your pets\\nDonating old items to shelters or charitable organizations instead of a thrift store\\nPutting items back in the store where you got them instead of leaving them\\nNot taking the closest parking space so you leave it for someone who needs it more\\n2-4. Slow down.\\nDon't be in a hurry in life. Slow down and enjoy the simple things. Time is a medium that helps us organize our days. Sometimes you have to follow the timetable, like when you're on your way to work or getting your kids to school. But if you have no time commitments, learn to live in the moment. Be patient with people. Think the best about them instead of the worst. Don't think the person who bumped past you is a jerk; instead, understand that he or she may be late for work or to pick up their child.\\nDon't be in a hurry to get to the store and get back. Enjoy the scenery as you pass by. While in the store, notice all the fine and colorful fruits and vegetables that are there for your nourishment, and realize that others are not as fortunate to enjoy the same benefits. Buy some extra nourishing food to give to the food bank to help feed others. Suggest to the manager there should be a food drop off sold at discount somewhere in the store for the poor.\\nOnly use the car horn in an emergency situation. Don't blow it at a little old man that can barely see over the wheel or someone driving extremely slow. Realize the driver may be taking his/her time so he/she doesn't injure him/herself or someone else. If they rush past you, understand that they may be in a hurry for something important. Even if they are not, why add to already negative feelings? Anger only begets anger.\\n2-5. Practice forgiveness.\\nForgiving someone can be a difficult task. Realizing that people are human and make mistakes helps you let go of negativity so you can forgive the person and move on. When you forgive, you let go of resentment that can cause anger, bitterness, and turmoil. Forgiveness also makes you more compassionate towards others.\\n2-6. Be honest.\\nLying violates trust and destroys relationships. Instead of lying, be honest with those around you. Good people are honest and direct with what they're feeling and thinking. Talk to those people who are bothering you, instead of lying or getting others involved. Don't be passive-aggressive.\\nHave integrity. Make your word mean something. If you say you are going to do something, then follow through on that promise. If circumstances arise that make it so you can't do it, be honest and direct and let the person know.\\nBeing honest doesn't mean being rude or cruel.\\n2-7. Make these small gestures a daily habit.\\nDoing simple things, such as smiling at someone or holding the door open for a stranger, will help you become a better person. Soon enough, these small acts of kindness will become a habit that you don't even have to think about.\\n2-8. Be empathetic.\\nUnderstand that being kind, understanding, and compassionate in how you treat others is largely the result of having a loving and caring attitude towards others. Try to put yourself in other's shoes and see things from their perspective. Ask yourself, \\\"How would I feel if I were the other person?\\\" You will likely act with the other person's feelings in mind. This will show in your words and actions. Be kind not so you look good to others, but more so others may benefit from your selfless acts.\\nIt doesn't work very well if you are merely trying to be diplomatic. Don't adopt a policy like, \\\"Anything for a quiet life.\\\"\\n3. Interacting With Others\\n3-1. Accept\\nPart of being a good person is not being judgmental. You accept everyone, no matter what race, age, sexual orientation, gender identity, or culture they are. Realize that everybody has feelings, every person is valid, and everyone should always be treated with respect.\\nBe respectful of elderly people. Realize that you will be old someday and may need a helping hand. Next time you go to a mall, parking lot, or anywhere, look for an old person struggling with something, like carrying bags or loading groceries into their car. Ask, \\\"May I help you with that?\\\" You will be doing a great service for seniors. Sometimes you may get one who will reject your offer; simply say, \\\"I understand, and I wish you a good day.\\\" Or when you are out and see an old person alone, say hello with an amiable smile and ask how they are doing. Just acknowledging someone can make their day.\\nBe compassionate towards intellectually disabled people. They are people with feelings too. Give them a big smile and treat them like a person. If other people are smiling or laughing with your interaction with them, ignore them and keep your attention on the person who is your true friend.\\nDon't be racist, homophobic, or intolerant of other religions. The world is a large place full of diversity. Learn from others and celebrate differences.\\n3-2. Control your anger.\\nWhen you argue with someone, try to control your anger. Don't hide or be rude when you are in an argument with a friend. Talk to them and work it out. It is best not to fight fire with fire, perhaps suggesting that the both of you take some time to think it over. Say, \\\"I want to resolve this with you because you are such a good friend. Let's take time and think this out.\\\"\\nDon't blame others. Accept what is your fault, talk to others about what they have done to upset you. But blaming others fosters negativity and resentment.\\nIf you can't let go of your anger, try writing down your feelings, meditating, or managing your thoughts.\\nDon't try to correct people when they're angry by saying something irrational. Just listen with compassion and remain quiet. Say to them, \\\"I'm sorry you feel this way, is there anything I can do to help?\\\"\\n3-3. Compliment\\nSaying nice things to people is an easy way to spread positivity. Compliment a co-workers new haircut or a stranger's dog. Compliment friends who you might be jealous of. Giving credit where due is respectful, and you would want the same respect for an achievement you've accomplished.\\n3-4. Be a better listener.\\nPeople rarely take the time to listen to people. Everyone wants to feel important and like they matter. Take the time to listen to people. Follow what the person is saying. Don't get distracted by what's going on around you or play on your cell phone. Be engaged with the person and the conversation. Ask some follow up questions on the topic; this helps them know that you're paying attention to them.\\n3-5. Celebrate other people's victories and good qualities.\\nBe kind and generous to others, liking them for who they are. Celebrate others when good things happen and don't be jealous. Be supportive and encouraging.\\nJealousy is hard to overcome. Try to realize that you don't have to have the same things as everyone else. Try to stop feeling jealous of other people.\\n3-6. Be a role model\\nSometimes, you can learn best by teaching. Make yourself available to help other people and foster a genuine desire to see them thrive. Believe in the power of your actions to influence others. Live your life in a way that inspires others. Share your life and philosophies with others. Find someone to be a role model to. Be cautious of the way you live so that you will always be acting in a way that will make someone proud. Give the young good moral values to live by and teach them the importance of morals. Sometimes you will feel as if your effort was in vain, but realize that you have planted the good seed in their minds, and it may take some time to respond to it.\\nWhen other people see you doing good deeds, they will be reminded to take more positive action themselves. Nurturing someone else and striving to be an example can help you see your own acts more clearly.\\nStart small. Join a Big Brother-Big Sister program, volunteer to coach a kid's sports team, teach, or be a role model for young family members.\\n3-7. Share.\\nShare your possessions, your positivity, and your happiness. Don't be emotionally stingy. Be generous and encouraging. Share your knowledge. Share opportunities. Share your time.\\nShare your food with others. Never take the biggest slice of pizza or piece of meat, or if you absolutely must do so, split it with others.\\n3-8. Respect everyone.\\nBe fair to all people. Treat everyone with kindness, and do not be mean or rude to people, even if they don't agree with you. Do not bully, but instead, stand up for the bullied.\\nDon't talk about others behind their backs. Be a genuine person. If you have a problem with someone, confront them in a respectful way. Don't spread bad things about them when they are not around.\\nDon't unfairly judge people. You don't know the circumstances surrounding them. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and respect their choices.\\nTreat others the way you'd like to be treated. Remember the golden rule. Put the energy out into the universe you'd like to receive.\\nRespect extends to your surroundings, too. Don't throw trash on the floor, don't purposefully mess up things, and don't talk too loud or be obnoxious. Respect that other people share the same space as you.\\nTips\\nYou may make mistakes, but never repeat the same mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and help yourself grow stronger as a person.\\nRemember, happiness is a state of mind. The only thing in the world that we can control is ourselves, so choose to be happy and control yourself by purposely maintaining a positive mental attitude.\\nWhen people attempt to put you down, don't talk back or take it to heart. Instead, laugh or shrug it off, or simply say you're sorry they feel this way. This will show you are too smart to sink down to their level and will prevent you from being harsh, aggressive, and a bad person. Not to mention, when they see how well you handle the situation, even your aggressors may back off or lose their interest in insulting you.\\nWarnings\\nRecognize that you may find it more difficult to be kind and understanding in practice than in theory - just keep working at it.\\nThe areas relating to others which you could most likely improve in are quite possibly the ones which you are least willing to admit that you are wrong in; that's exactly why you can benefit so much from facing that you may be wrong or out of line in how you relate to or treat others.\\nAs much as possible, seek to have a sense of humor about these things - both with regards to the mistakes you've made and the sacrifices you anticipate you will need to make to be nice.\\nRemember that you are still human - for as long as you live, you will have a tendency to sometimes make mistakes; that's okay. Everyone makes them. Do the best you can, and if you occasionally make mistakes or are not as nice as you'd like to be, just bring yourself back to focusing on thinking of others as much as yourself.\\nIf someone asks you for help and it involves doing what they should do alone never do it! It's cheating and simply teaches the person that cheating is fine.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good person means more than just doing things for others. You have to accept and love yourself before you can put positive energy into the universe. Philosophers have been debating what is good and what is not for centuries, and many people find that it's more complicated than just being kind. While every person's journey is different, being good has a lot to do with discovering yourself and your role in the world. In order to truly be good, you will have to consider what 'goodness' means to you. Perhaps this means doing good for others, or simply being an honest and kind person. Use some of the following tips to help yourself be a better person.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improving Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine what being a good person means to you personally.\", \"描述\": \"Some people think that being a good person is as simple as not doing harm to another. But it is not always about what you don't do, but what you do for others. Being a good person also includes helping yourself as much as others. You have to decide what you believe being a good person entails.\\nWhat is your ideal person? Make a list of traits that you believe make up a good, ideal person. Start living your life according to these traits.\\nAre you waiting for something in return? Are you doing things because it will help you look good? Or are you doing things because you truly want to give and help? Stop putting up airs and adopt the attitude of giving without expectation of receiving anything in return.\\nBeing good does not mean only by outer goodness. You have to consider being good straight from the heart (i.e., purely). Ultimately, you have to decide on your own code of ethics, and what matters is that you follow through with what you believe makes you a good person. At times, this may conflict with what others believe is good, and they might even accuse you of being wrong or evil. Consider their views - either they know something you don't, in which case you may learn something from them and update your morality, or perhaps their experience is limited, meaning that you should take their views with a grain of salt.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose a role model.\", \"描述\": \"Having a role model provides you with an example of someone to correspond to. This person should have traits that you want to attain. Think of ways that you can better embody the qualities you admire. Think of how to apply those qualities in your work, creative pursuits, personal relationships, diet, and lifestyle.\\nWho do you look up to and why? How are they making the world a better place to live in, and how can you do the same?\\nWhat qualities do you admire in them, and how can you develop the same ones?\\nKeep your role model close to you, like a friendly spirit that is always at your side. Think of how they would respond to a question or circumstance, and how you should respond in the same manner.\\nAsk your loved ones and people your trust for their input about how you can improve. They may recognize things you might not notice.\\nCheck in with your loved ones often and ask them if there are still ways you can become a better person.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stop comparing yourself to others.\", \"描述\": \"Try to understand that some have it better than you, but many have it much worse. When we make ourselves miserable by comparing ourselves with others, we are wasting time and energy that we could use in building our own inner resources. Compliment yourself every morning. Being happy makes you a more positive person, which helps you put those positive vibes out into the world.\\nYou have your own unique gifts and talents. Focus on sharing them with the world instead of focusing on the gifts of another.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Love yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Learn to love yourself in every way. Practice unconditional self-acceptance. The only way you can truly love others is to first have confidence and love yourself. What you do and what you believe must make you feel good as well as others. If you try to do things for others without taking care of yourself, you can end up resentful, angry, and negative. If you love yourself, then you will make a positive impact when you help others.\\nAre you superficially acting like a good person? If you are self-loathing and angry on the inside, you may not be a good person despite all your outward actions.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Remember to be yourself always and never someone who you're not. Don't try to be like somebody else; just be yourself and do good things as simply as you can. Being yourself helps you be a genuine person who can reflect positivity into the world. Staying true to yourself helps you find focus and understand your core values and what you find important.\\nBe good for its own sake. Don't try to be a good person because your parents told you to, because you want recognition or respect, or for any kind of reward except your own satisfaction in doing what you believe is good. Never act superior to anyone else or brag about your \\\"goodness\\\" or \\\"righteousness\\\". Your dedication to a particular creed, ideology, or set of guidelines does not make you better than anyone else. Do what you believe makes you a good person on your own terms, and remember that it's an individual journey - everyone's path is unique. \\\"Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame.\\\" — Alexander Pope.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Pray\", \"描述\": \"Praying to a higher power or meditating can help cultivate the qualities you seek to embody. Meditation and prayer can help you find inner peace and focus on your inner self. As you increase your self-awareness, you understand what you really want and find clarity in your life. As you gain inner peace, you feel more positive, which helps you become a better person.\\nFind a private, safe space free from distractions. Sit in a comfortable position. Clear your mind from all thoughts and take a few deep, slow breaths. Observe the thoughts in your head. Don't feel or react, just observe. If your focus breaks, just count to ten. Meditate until you feel cleansed and rejuvenated.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make small changes.\", \"描述\": \"Take a moment to reflect and recognize the things you need to change to be the best version of yourself. No one can change immediately. But even small changes can make an enormous and positive difference. Set small goals every month or two and focus on one or two key habits which you want to change.\\nAn example for Goal 1: I will listen to others without interrupting at all either verbally or in any other way. Think of how annoying it can be for you when the other person begins to move the lips as if they are about to intervene.\\nGoal 2: I will do my best to think of what things would make another person happy. This could be sharing your food or drink with others when they are hungry or thirsty, letting someone else sit where you want to sit or something else.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Review your goals every day.\", \"描述\": \"To start your mission to become a good person, make and read a list of your ideals every day. Make it a part of you. Follow the guidelines and add some of your own steps as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having a Positive Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to look at the bright side of things.\", \"描述\": \"Bring a positive attitude to every situation. Negativity only hurts yourself and others. If you are negative, it has an impact on the way you treat others. Our mentality can influence the achievements of our days. If something doesn't turn your way, try to change what you can, smile, stay positive, and move on.\\nThe Motto of the Christophers says: \\\"It is better to light a single candle than it is to curse the darkness.\\\" Be that light. When you see controversy, try to be the one who changes the subject by suggesting a solution. Don't state what you would do, but ask everyone to get involved.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do an act of charity for someone else.\", \"描述\": \"Try to do something nice for someone every day, even if it's something small. An act of kindness and generosity can have a great influence. Smile, hold the door open for someone, pay it forward at the drive through - just try to do something to make someone's day.\\nEven reach out to people who have been cold or indifferent to you. Show someone who is rude to you the example of your kindness. Maybe people have always been rude to them. Be the person who shows them kindness instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a point to make the world a better place every time you leave the place of your dwelling.\", \"描述\": \"Every time you interact with the world you have an opportunity to do something good and positive. It does not have to be something big, but can be something like picking up some trash that someone threw down in a local park or in front of your neighbor's home. Be conscientious and find a way to give back to the world. Easy ways to make a positive change include:\\nRecycling\\nBuying organic and locally grown food\\nBeing a responsible pet owner by cleaning up after your pets\\nDonating old items to shelters or charitable organizations instead of a thrift store\\nPutting items back in the store where you got them instead of leaving them\\nNot taking the closest parking space so you leave it for someone who needs it more\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Slow down.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be in a hurry in life. Slow down and enjoy the simple things. Time is a medium that helps us organize our days. Sometimes you have to follow the timetable, like when you're on your way to work or getting your kids to school. But if you have no time commitments, learn to live in the moment. Be patient with people. Think the best about them instead of the worst. Don't think the person who bumped past you is a jerk; instead, understand that he or she may be late for work or to pick up their child.\\nDon't be in a hurry to get to the store and get back. Enjoy the scenery as you pass by. While in the store, notice all the fine and colorful fruits and vegetables that are there for your nourishment, and realize that others are not as fortunate to enjoy the same benefits. Buy some extra nourishing food to give to the food bank to help feed others. Suggest to the manager there should be a food drop off sold at discount somewhere in the store for the poor.\\nOnly use the car horn in an emergency situation. Don't blow it at a little old man that can barely see over the wheel or someone driving extremely slow. Realize the driver may be taking his/her time so he/she doesn't injure him/herself or someone else. If they rush past you, understand that they may be in a hurry for something important. Even if they are not, why add to already negative feelings? Anger only begets anger.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"Forgiving someone can be a difficult task. Realizing that people are human and make mistakes helps you let go of negativity so you can forgive the person and move on. When you forgive, you let go of resentment that can cause anger, bitterness, and turmoil. Forgiveness also makes you more compassionate towards others.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be honest.\", \"描述\": \"Lying violates trust and destroys relationships. Instead of lying, be honest with those around you. Good people are honest and direct with what they're feeling and thinking. Talk to those people who are bothering you, instead of lying or getting others involved. Don't be passive-aggressive.\\nHave integrity. Make your word mean something. If you say you are going to do something, then follow through on that promise. If circumstances arise that make it so you can't do it, be honest and direct and let the person know.\\nBeing honest doesn't mean being rude or cruel.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make these small gestures a daily habit.\", \"描述\": \"Doing simple things, such as smiling at someone or holding the door open for a stranger, will help you become a better person. Soon enough, these small acts of kindness will become a habit that you don't even have to think about.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be empathetic.\", \"描述\": \"Understand that being kind, understanding, and compassionate in how you treat others is largely the result of having a loving and caring attitude towards others. Try to put yourself in other's shoes and see things from their perspective. Ask yourself, \\\"How would I feel if I were the other person?\\\" You will likely act with the other person's feelings in mind. This will show in your words and actions. Be kind not so you look good to others, but more so others may benefit from your selfless acts.\\nIt doesn't work very well if you are merely trying to be diplomatic. Don't adopt a policy like, \\\"Anything for a quiet life.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Interacting With Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept\", \"描述\": \"Part of being a good person is not being judgmental. You accept everyone, no matter what race, age, sexual orientation, gender identity, or culture they are. Realize that everybody has feelings, every person is valid, and everyone should always be treated with respect.\\nBe respectful of elderly people. Realize that you will be old someday and may need a helping hand. Next time you go to a mall, parking lot, or anywhere, look for an old person struggling with something, like carrying bags or loading groceries into their car. Ask, \\\"May I help you with that?\\\" You will be doing a great service for seniors. Sometimes you may get one who will reject your offer; simply say, \\\"I understand, and I wish you a good day.\\\" Or when you are out and see an old person alone, say hello with an amiable smile and ask how they are doing. Just acknowledging someone can make their day.\\nBe compassionate towards intellectually disabled people. They are people with feelings too. Give them a big smile and treat them like a person. If other people are smiling or laughing with your interaction with them, ignore them and keep your attention on the person who is your true friend.\\nDon't be racist, homophobic, or intolerant of other religions. The world is a large place full of diversity. Learn from others and celebrate differences.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Control your anger.\", \"描述\": \"When you argue with someone, try to control your anger. Don't hide or be rude when you are in an argument with a friend. Talk to them and work it out. It is best not to fight fire with fire, perhaps suggesting that the both of you take some time to think it over. Say, \\\"I want to resolve this with you because you are such a good friend. Let's take time and think this out.\\\"\\nDon't blame others. Accept what is your fault, talk to others about what they have done to upset you. But blaming others fosters negativity and resentment.\\nIf you can't let go of your anger, try writing down your feelings, meditating, or managing your thoughts.\\nDon't try to correct people when they're angry by saying something irrational. Just listen with compassion and remain quiet. Say to them, \\\"I'm sorry you feel this way, is there anything I can do to help?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment\", \"描述\": \"Saying nice things to people is an easy way to spread positivity. Compliment a co-workers new haircut or a stranger's dog. Compliment friends who you might be jealous of. Giving credit where due is respectful, and you would want the same respect for an achievement you've accomplished.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be a better listener.\", \"描述\": \"People rarely take the time to listen to people. Everyone wants to feel important and like they matter. Take the time to listen to people. Follow what the person is saying. Don't get distracted by what's going on around you or play on your cell phone. Be engaged with the person and the conversation. Ask some follow up questions on the topic; this helps them know that you're paying attention to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Celebrate other people's victories and good qualities.\", \"描述\": \"Be kind and generous to others, liking them for who they are. Celebrate others when good things happen and don't be jealous. Be supportive and encouraging.\\nJealousy is hard to overcome. Try to realize that you don't have to have the same things as everyone else. Try to stop feeling jealous of other people.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be a role model\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, you can learn best by teaching. Make yourself available to help other people and foster a genuine desire to see them thrive. Believe in the power of your actions to influence others. Live your life in a way that inspires others. Share your life and philosophies with others. Find someone to be a role model to. Be cautious of the way you live so that you will always be acting in a way that will make someone proud. Give the young good moral values to live by and teach them the importance of morals. Sometimes you will feel as if your effort was in vain, but realize that you have planted the good seed in their minds, and it may take some time to respond to it.\\nWhen other people see you doing good deeds, they will be reminded to take more positive action themselves. Nurturing someone else and striving to be an example can help you see your own acts more clearly.\\nStart small. Join a Big Brother-Big Sister program, volunteer to coach a kid's sports team, teach, or be a role model for young family members.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Share.\", \"描述\": \"Share your possessions, your positivity, and your happiness. Don't be emotionally stingy. Be generous and encouraging. Share your knowledge. Share opportunities. Share your time.\\nShare your food with others. Never take the biggest slice of pizza or piece of meat, or if you absolutely must do so, split it with others.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Respect everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Be fair to all people. Treat everyone with kindness, and do not be mean or rude to people, even if they don't agree with you. Do not bully, but instead, stand up for the bullied.\\nDon't talk about others behind their backs. Be a genuine person. If you have a problem with someone, confront them in a respectful way. Don't spread bad things about them when they are not around.\\nDon't unfairly judge people. You don't know the circumstances surrounding them. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and respect their choices.\\nTreat others the way you'd like to be treated. Remember the golden rule. Put the energy out into the universe you'd like to receive.\\nRespect extends to your surroundings, too. Don't throw trash on the floor, don't purposefully mess up things, and don't talk too loud or be obnoxious. Respect that other people share the same space as you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You may make mistakes, but never repeat the same mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and help yourself grow stronger as a person.\\n\", \"Remember, happiness is a state of mind. The only thing in the world that we can control is ourselves, so choose to be happy and control yourself by purposely maintaining a positive mental attitude.\\n\", \"When people attempt to put you down, don't talk back or take it to heart. Instead, laugh or shrug it off, or simply say you're sorry they feel this way. This will show you are too smart to sink down to their level and will prevent you from being harsh, aggressive, and a bad person. Not to mention, when they see how well you handle the situation, even your aggressors may back off or lose their interest in insulting you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Recognize that you may find it more difficult to be kind and understanding in practice than in theory - just keep working at it.\\n\", \"The areas relating to others which you could most likely improve in are quite possibly the ones which you are least willing to admit that you are wrong in; that's exactly why you can benefit so much from facing that you may be wrong or out of line in how you relate to or treat others.\\n\", \"As much as possible, seek to have a sense of humor about these things - both with regards to the mistakes you've made and the sacrifices you anticipate you will need to make to be nice.\\n\", \"Remember that you are still human - for as long as you live, you will have a tendency to sometimes make mistakes; that's okay. Everyone makes them. Do the best you can, and if you occasionally make mistakes or are not as nice as you'd like to be, just bring yourself back to focusing on thinking of others as much as yourself.\\n\", \"If someone asks you for help and it involves doing what they should do alone never do it! It's cheating and simply teaches the person that cheating is fine.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,495 |
How to Be a Good Person After a Break Up
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1. Coping if You Were Dumped
1-1. Avoid bad mouthing your ex.
After breaking up with someone, you probably have some resentment for that person. As much as you want to vent, hold off. If you want to be a good person after a breakup, avoid saying bad things about your ex. This is especially important when talking to mutual friends.
If you really can't put off the temptation, write down everything bad about your ex in a notebook. Venting in your diary or journal is better than complaining to others.
Talking too much about your ex can also be bad for you. You don't want to get into a place where you're wallowing over negative things that have happened. This will not help you move on and let go of bigger feelings.
If someone asks about the breakup, respond without saying anything negative. Instead of saying, "She broke up with me because she thinks she's too good for me" say something like, "We wanted different things, and that's why we broke up."
1-2. Limit contact in general.
Communication, even online, is a bad idea after a breakup. This can make it harder to move on. Try to un-follow your ex on various social media outlets. Avoid the temptation to visit your ex's Facebook and Twitter pages. If you're feeling any resentment over the breakup, you may start feeling bitter if you see your ex posting happy statuses or pictures.
Do what is best for you when it comes to social media. If you think you will be better off not seeing your ex’s posts, then delete your ex from your friends. If you think deleting your ex will make things harder for you, then don’t delete your ex.
1-3. Take a break from dating.
Jumping into a new relationship is not fair to your new significant other. You need time to heal after a breakup. Going into another relationship right away is often a means to deflect negative feelings.
You don't want to carry any negativity into a new relationship. If you're still reeling, you want to give yourself a chance to calm down before you pursue someone new.
1-4. Replace irrational thoughts with rational ones.
If you want to be a good person after a breakup, you need to be good to yourself. If you're feeling bitter or otherwise negative, you're more likely to take this out on those around you. Try to be aware of any negative, irrational thoughts you experience. Work on consciously replacing them with rational thought patterns.
Many people have bitter, exaggerated thoughts during a breakup. You may, for example, think something like, "My life means nothing without my ex" or "I don't think I'll ever be happy again."
When you experience such thoughts, try to step away and look at them rationally. Replace negative thought patterns with kinder ones. For example, think things like "I have a lot going on for me, even though my romantic relationship did not work out" and "I will be happy again eventually, even if things are rough now."
1-5. Do not lean on others for too long.
You don't want to emotionally unload on people long term. In the initial weeks after your breakup, friends and family members will be happy to offer you support. However, after a while, people will need to return to their own lives. If you keep leaning on people for too long, they will get frustrated. Seek out a therapist if you find that you still need significant emotional support after a few weeks have passed.
Try not to ask for too many favors for too long. For the first week or so after the breakup, it's acceptable to ask people to spend weeknights with you and listen to you vent.
After a few months, however, you should give people their space. Work on feeling better on your own instead of expecting other people to fix your problems.
2. Handling Ending the Relationship Yourself
2-1. Explain why things ended.
If you broke up with someone, you can offer them an explanation. If someone comes to you asking for closure, kindly explain why you wanted to end the relationship. This can help the other person grieve and move forward.
You don't have to be cruel with the person. Remember to phrase things tactfully. You can also give a partial truth. For example, you found the person a little boring and therefore did not want a longterm relationship with them. It's a bad idea to say, "You just kind of bored me as a person, so I wanted to be with someone else."
Instead, tell the person you just didn't think the two of you were compatible long term. This is true, without being cruel. For example, "I'm just at an age where I'm looking for something longterm. I really liked you a lot, and spending time with you was great, but I felt like it wasn't going to work out in the long run."
2-2. Let the person know they still matter.
You want to make sure the person you broke up with still feels valued. A breakup can really affect someone's self-esteem and sense of self. When breaking up with someone, make sure to let them know you still value them as a person, even if you don't want a romantic relationship.
Try saying something to the person along the lines of, " You've been an important person in my life and I still care about you, but this is not working out for me because…"
2-3. Allow the other person to ask questions initially.
The person you're breaking up with may have some questions for you. It's okay to let the person ask certain things. However, repeatedly answering the same questions will not do any good. It's not good for you or the other person if you are just going around in circles. You both need space and time to heal.
Try to give answers that do not invite further questions and discussion. For example, "I want kids and you don't." Or, "I know you have goals to move up the career ladder and move out of the country. I don't want that for myself." Avoid giving answers like, “I don't know what happened, but I'm not in love with you anymore.”
You can also invite the other person to ask questions if they're curious. For example, "What do you think of this? Do you understand my decision?"
2-4. Taper off communication.
Whether you dumped the other person, or the other person dumped you, you should not communicate too much directly after the breakup. Both of you need space. Being too involved with one another right after a breakup can lead to bitter feelings and arguments. After a week or so, you can stop talking as often or at all.
If you want to stay friends, make sure to make your boundaries clear. For example, you can agree not to talk for a month or so and then talk again when you both feel ready to reignite a friendship. Try saying something like, “I want us to avoid communicating with each other for one month, so I will not answer your calls, texts, or emails during this time.”
3. Caring for Yourself
3-1. Take up a hobby.
It's a good idea to keep yourself busy in the wake of a breakup. If you linger on bad feelings for too long, you may lash out towards others. To regulate your emotions, take up a new hobby or rediscover an old one. This can help you be a better person, as you'll be focusing on new, positive things rather than negative feelings.
You can try to join a hobby where you meet new people. You may be in a better overall mood if you focus on starting fresh with new friends. You could, for example, take a cooking or painting class.
3-2. Practice basic self-care.
You might feel down and uninterested in doing things after a break-up, but it's important that you take care of yourself. If you're taking care of yourself, you're more likely to have the energy to manage your emotions. This will make you a better person in the aftermath of a breakup. Make sure you keep up with eating right, sleeping right, exercise, and personal hygiene.
3-3. Take it easy.
Don't try to do too much when you're feeling wounded emotionally. Especially in the days right after a breakup, it's okay to take time for yourself. Do not feel bad if you have to lessen your commitments for awhile.
For example, say no to things more often. Don't agree to do extra favors for others or take on volunteer opportunities. You need time to recover.
Skip one obligation during the week. For example, miss one meeting for your church's vestry. Instead, stay in and do something nice for yourself.
3-4. Make plans with others.
It's a good idea to stay social after a breakup. This can help you remember that there are still people that value you, even if you're not in a romantic relationship. Make plans with friends from work or school. Invite an old friend out to coffee. Staying socially active after a breakup can really help you mend.
Tips
Don't use your mutual friends as ammunition. If someone you're close to wants to keep up a friendship with your ex, try to accept it gracefully.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Coping if You Were Dumped\\n1-1. Avoid bad mouthing your ex.\\nAfter breaking up with someone, you probably have some resentment for that person. As much as you want to vent, hold off. If you want to be a good person after a breakup, avoid saying bad things about your ex. This is especially important when talking to mutual friends.\\nIf you really can't put off the temptation, write down everything bad about your ex in a notebook. Venting in your diary or journal is better than complaining to others.\\nTalking too much about your ex can also be bad for you. You don't want to get into a place where you're wallowing over negative things that have happened. This will not help you move on and let go of bigger feelings.\\nIf someone asks about the breakup, respond without saying anything negative. Instead of saying, \\\"She broke up with me because she thinks she's too good for me\\\" say something like, \\\"We wanted different things, and that's why we broke up.\\\"\\n1-2. Limit contact in general.\\nCommunication, even online, is a bad idea after a breakup. This can make it harder to move on. Try to un-follow your ex on various social media outlets. Avoid the temptation to visit your ex's Facebook and Twitter pages. If you're feeling any resentment over the breakup, you may start feeling bitter if you see your ex posting happy statuses or pictures.\\nDo what is best for you when it comes to social media. If you think you will be better off not seeing your ex’s posts, then delete your ex from your friends. If you think deleting your ex will make things harder for you, then don’t delete your ex.\\n1-3. Take a break from dating.\\nJumping into a new relationship is not fair to your new significant other. You need time to heal after a breakup. Going into another relationship right away is often a means to deflect negative feelings.\\nYou don't want to carry any negativity into a new relationship. If you're still reeling, you want to give yourself a chance to calm down before you pursue someone new.\\n1-4. Replace irrational thoughts with rational ones.\\nIf you want to be a good person after a breakup, you need to be good to yourself. If you're feeling bitter or otherwise negative, you're more likely to take this out on those around you. Try to be aware of any negative, irrational thoughts you experience. Work on consciously replacing them with rational thought patterns.\\nMany people have bitter, exaggerated thoughts during a breakup. You may, for example, think something like, \\\"My life means nothing without my ex\\\" or \\\"I don't think I'll ever be happy again.\\\"\\nWhen you experience such thoughts, try to step away and look at them rationally. Replace negative thought patterns with kinder ones. For example, think things like \\\"I have a lot going on for me, even though my romantic relationship did not work out\\\" and \\\"I will be happy again eventually, even if things are rough now.\\\"\\n1-5. Do not lean on others for too long.\\nYou don't want to emotionally unload on people long term. In the initial weeks after your breakup, friends and family members will be happy to offer you support. However, after a while, people will need to return to their own lives. If you keep leaning on people for too long, they will get frustrated. Seek out a therapist if you find that you still need significant emotional support after a few weeks have passed.\\nTry not to ask for too many favors for too long. For the first week or so after the breakup, it's acceptable to ask people to spend weeknights with you and listen to you vent.\\nAfter a few months, however, you should give people their space. Work on feeling better on your own instead of expecting other people to fix your problems.\\n2. Handling Ending the Relationship Yourself\\n2-1. Explain why things ended.\\nIf you broke up with someone, you can offer them an explanation. If someone comes to you asking for closure, kindly explain why you wanted to end the relationship. This can help the other person grieve and move forward.\\nYou don't have to be cruel with the person. Remember to phrase things tactfully. You can also give a partial truth. For example, you found the person a little boring and therefore did not want a longterm relationship with them. It's a bad idea to say, \\\"You just kind of bored me as a person, so I wanted to be with someone else.\\\"\\nInstead, tell the person you just didn't think the two of you were compatible long term. This is true, without being cruel. For example, \\\"I'm just at an age where I'm looking for something longterm. I really liked you a lot, and spending time with you was great, but I felt like it wasn't going to work out in the long run.\\\"\\n2-2. Let the person know they still matter.\\nYou want to make sure the person you broke up with still feels valued. A breakup can really affect someone's self-esteem and sense of self. When breaking up with someone, make sure to let them know you still value them as a person, even if you don't want a romantic relationship.\\nTry saying something to the person along the lines of, \\\" You've been an important person in my life and I still care about you, but this is not working out for me because…\\\"\\n2-3. Allow the other person to ask questions initially.\\nThe person you're breaking up with may have some questions for you. It's okay to let the person ask certain things. However, repeatedly answering the same questions will not do any good. It's not good for you or the other person if you are just going around in circles. You both need space and time to heal.\\nTry to give answers that do not invite further questions and discussion. For example, \\\"I want kids and you don't.\\\" Or, \\\"I know you have goals to move up the career ladder and move out of the country. I don't want that for myself.\\\" Avoid giving answers like, “I don't know what happened, but I'm not in love with you anymore.”\\nYou can also invite the other person to ask questions if they're curious. For example, \\\"What do you think of this? Do you understand my decision?\\\"\\n2-4. Taper off communication.\\nWhether you dumped the other person, or the other person dumped you, you should not communicate too much directly after the breakup. Both of you need space. Being too involved with one another right after a breakup can lead to bitter feelings and arguments. After a week or so, you can stop talking as often or at all.\\nIf you want to stay friends, make sure to make your boundaries clear. For example, you can agree not to talk for a month or so and then talk again when you both feel ready to reignite a friendship. Try saying something like, “I want us to avoid communicating with each other for one month, so I will not answer your calls, texts, or emails during this time.”\\n3. Caring for Yourself\\n3-1. Take up a hobby.\\nIt's a good idea to keep yourself busy in the wake of a breakup. If you linger on bad feelings for too long, you may lash out towards others. To regulate your emotions, take up a new hobby or rediscover an old one. This can help you be a better person, as you'll be focusing on new, positive things rather than negative feelings.\\nYou can try to join a hobby where you meet new people. You may be in a better overall mood if you focus on starting fresh with new friends. You could, for example, take a cooking or painting class.\\n3-2. Practice basic self-care.\\nYou might feel down and uninterested in doing things after a break-up, but it's important that you take care of yourself. If you're taking care of yourself, you're more likely to have the energy to manage your emotions. This will make you a better person in the aftermath of a breakup. Make sure you keep up with eating right, sleeping right, exercise, and personal hygiene.\\n3-3. Take it easy.\\nDon't try to do too much when you're feeling wounded emotionally. Especially in the days right after a breakup, it's okay to take time for yourself. Do not feel bad if you have to lessen your commitments for awhile. \\nFor example, say no to things more often. Don't agree to do extra favors for others or take on volunteer opportunities. You need time to recover.\\nSkip one obligation during the week. For example, miss one meeting for your church's vestry. Instead, stay in and do something nice for yourself.\\n3-4. Make plans with others.\\nIt's a good idea to stay social after a breakup. This can help you remember that there are still people that value you, even if you're not in a romantic relationship. Make plans with friends from work or school. Invite an old friend out to coffee. Staying socially active after a breakup can really help you mend.\\nTips\\nDon't use your mutual friends as ammunition. If someone you're close to wants to keep up a friendship with your ex, try to accept it gracefully.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Just about everyone will go through a painful breakup at some point. You're not alone in feeling bitter and resentful. However, taking the high road and trying to be a good person in spite of your pain can help you grow as an individual. Work on avoiding your bitter feelings by regulating your emotions and focusing on the positives. Practice basic self-care and give yourself time to grieve. Be careful about contacting the other person. It's okay to have a few conversations so you both get closure, but don't expect to be friends with your ex right away.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Coping if You Were Dumped\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid bad mouthing your ex.\", \"描述\": \"After breaking up with someone, you probably have some resentment for that person. As much as you want to vent, hold off. If you want to be a good person after a breakup, avoid saying bad things about your ex. This is especially important when talking to mutual friends.\\nIf you really can't put off the temptation, write down everything bad about your ex in a notebook. Venting in your diary or journal is better than complaining to others.\\nTalking too much about your ex can also be bad for you. You don't want to get into a place where you're wallowing over negative things that have happened. This will not help you move on and let go of bigger feelings.\\nIf someone asks about the breakup, respond without saying anything negative. Instead of saying, \\\"She broke up with me because she thinks she's too good for me\\\" say something like, \\\"We wanted different things, and that's why we broke up.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Limit contact in general.\", \"描述\": \"Communication, even online, is a bad idea after a breakup. This can make it harder to move on. Try to un-follow your ex on various social media outlets. Avoid the temptation to visit your ex's Facebook and Twitter pages. If you're feeling any resentment over the breakup, you may start feeling bitter if you see your ex posting happy statuses or pictures.\\nDo what is best for you when it comes to social media. If you think you will be better off not seeing your ex’s posts, then delete your ex from your friends. If you think deleting your ex will make things harder for you, then don’t delete your ex.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a break from dating.\", \"描述\": \"Jumping into a new relationship is not fair to your new significant other. You need time to heal after a breakup. Going into another relationship right away is often a means to deflect negative feelings.\\nYou don't want to carry any negativity into a new relationship. If you're still reeling, you want to give yourself a chance to calm down before you pursue someone new.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Replace irrational thoughts with rational ones.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good person after a breakup, you need to be good to yourself. If you're feeling bitter or otherwise negative, you're more likely to take this out on those around you. Try to be aware of any negative, irrational thoughts you experience. Work on consciously replacing them with rational thought patterns.\\nMany people have bitter, exaggerated thoughts during a breakup. You may, for example, think something like, \\\"My life means nothing without my ex\\\" or \\\"I don't think I'll ever be happy again.\\\"\\nWhen you experience such thoughts, try to step away and look at them rationally. Replace negative thought patterns with kinder ones. For example, think things like \\\"I have a lot going on for me, even though my romantic relationship did not work out\\\" and \\\"I will be happy again eventually, even if things are rough now.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do not lean on others for too long.\", \"描述\": \"You don't want to emotionally unload on people long term. In the initial weeks after your breakup, friends and family members will be happy to offer you support. However, after a while, people will need to return to their own lives. If you keep leaning on people for too long, they will get frustrated. Seek out a therapist if you find that you still need significant emotional support after a few weeks have passed.\\nTry not to ask for too many favors for too long. For the first week or so after the breakup, it's acceptable to ask people to spend weeknights with you and listen to you vent.\\nAfter a few months, however, you should give people their space. Work on feeling better on your own instead of expecting other people to fix your problems.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Handling Ending the Relationship Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explain why things ended.\", \"描述\": \"If you broke up with someone, you can offer them an explanation. If someone comes to you asking for closure, kindly explain why you wanted to end the relationship. This can help the other person grieve and move forward.\\nYou don't have to be cruel with the person. Remember to phrase things tactfully. You can also give a partial truth. For example, you found the person a little boring and therefore did not want a longterm relationship with them. It's a bad idea to say, \\\"You just kind of bored me as a person, so I wanted to be with someone else.\\\"\\nInstead, tell the person you just didn't think the two of you were compatible long term. This is true, without being cruel. For example, \\\"I'm just at an age where I'm looking for something longterm. I really liked you a lot, and spending time with you was great, but I felt like it wasn't going to work out in the long run.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let the person know they still matter.\", \"描述\": \"You want to make sure the person you broke up with still feels valued. A breakup can really affect someone's self-esteem and sense of self. When breaking up with someone, make sure to let them know you still value them as a person, even if you don't want a romantic relationship.\\nTry saying something to the person along the lines of, \\\" You've been an important person in my life and I still care about you, but this is not working out for me because…\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Allow the other person to ask questions initially.\", \"描述\": \"The person you're breaking up with may have some questions for you. It's okay to let the person ask certain things. However, repeatedly answering the same questions will not do any good. It's not good for you or the other person if you are just going around in circles. You both need space and time to heal.\\nTry to give answers that do not invite further questions and discussion. For example, \\\"I want kids and you don't.\\\" Or, \\\"I know you have goals to move up the career ladder and move out of the country. I don't want that for myself.\\\" Avoid giving answers like, “I don't know what happened, but I'm not in love with you anymore.”\\nYou can also invite the other person to ask questions if they're curious. For example, \\\"What do you think of this? Do you understand my decision?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Taper off communication.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you dumped the other person, or the other person dumped you, you should not communicate too much directly after the breakup. Both of you need space. Being too involved with one another right after a breakup can lead to bitter feelings and arguments. After a week or so, you can stop talking as often or at all.\\nIf you want to stay friends, make sure to make your boundaries clear. For example, you can agree not to talk for a month or so and then talk again when you both feel ready to reignite a friendship. Try saying something like, “I want us to avoid communicating with each other for one month, so I will not answer your calls, texts, or emails during this time.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Caring for Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take up a hobby.\", \"描述\": \"It's a good idea to keep yourself busy in the wake of a breakup. If you linger on bad feelings for too long, you may lash out towards others. To regulate your emotions, take up a new hobby or rediscover an old one. This can help you be a better person, as you'll be focusing on new, positive things rather than negative feelings.\\nYou can try to join a hobby where you meet new people. You may be in a better overall mood if you focus on starting fresh with new friends. You could, for example, take a cooking or painting class.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice basic self-care.\", \"描述\": \"You might feel down and uninterested in doing things after a break-up, but it's important that you take care of yourself. If you're taking care of yourself, you're more likely to have the energy to manage your emotions. This will make you a better person in the aftermath of a breakup. Make sure you keep up with eating right, sleeping right, exercise, and personal hygiene.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take it easy.\", \"描述\": \"Don't try to do too much when you're feeling wounded emotionally. Especially in the days right after a breakup, it's okay to take time for yourself. Do not feel bad if you have to lessen your commitments for awhile. \\nFor example, say no to things more often. Don't agree to do extra favors for others or take on volunteer opportunities. You need time to recover.\\nSkip one obligation during the week. For example, miss one meeting for your church's vestry. Instead, stay in and do something nice for yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make plans with others.\", \"描述\": \"It's a good idea to stay social after a breakup. This can help you remember that there are still people that value you, even if you're not in a romantic relationship. Make plans with friends from work or school. Invite an old friend out to coffee. Staying socially active after a breakup can really help you mend.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't use your mutual friends as ammunition. If someone you're close to wants to keep up a friendship with your ex, try to accept it gracefully.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,496 |
How to Be a Good Person That People Look up To
|
1. Working on Yourself
1-1. Identify good personal qualities.
What makes a "good" person? Different people have different ideas and perspectives about what makes someone good, but there are a few traits that most will agree are desirable traits to have. Develop your own list of qualities you want to work on to become someone others look up to.
You may determine that "good" means having integrity, being reliable, and being honest.
Some see goodness in humility, generosity and kindness.
The ability to empathise with others and be nonjudgmental is another way to be good.
1-2. Be wary of seeking others' approval.
There is nothing wrong with striving to be a good person. However, it's not a good idea to change yourself just to be popular. You can't be everything to everyone. Strive to be good for the sake of being good, not to impress others. After all, life is to express yourself, not to impress others.
If your mission to change yourself is motivated by other people's opinion of you, it will be easy to get off track. You may find yourself catering to others' expectations instead of doing the right thing.
That said, it's fine to want to set a good example for others, especially children. If you are a parent, the values you exhibit will leave an impression on your kids.
1-3. Be genuine.
Being genuine means saying what you really think and backing up your words with actions. People admire those who are genuine because they don't try to pretend they are someone else, and you can trust they mean what they say.
To work on being more genuine, see if you're living by your values. For example, if you value protecting the environment, does your lifestyle reflect that? Doing things like recycling, carpooling, conserving water, and so on are ways to be true to your belief that it's important to protect the environment.
Accept your whole self. Everyone has areas they know they are strong in and areas they know that don't come as easily. Everyone must deal with mistakes and not seeing a payoff for their efforts on the first try. People don't have to be perfect to be good. Genuine people are comfortable with the fact that they still have their challenges and strengths. They are also comfortable with having to try multiple times until they succeed.
Do not judge those around you. Genuine people tend to not compare others to themselves or to outside standards. Truly genuine people accept others for who they are. Try to avoid judging friends, family members, and co-workers.
1-4. Work on your self-esteem.
Acknowledge the good things about yourself and celebrate your successes. Being comfortable with yourself is vital to becoming a good, admired person. People tend to look up to those with reasonable self confidence and it's easier to think of others when you're not preoccupied with your own perceived inadequacies.
If you feel you have low self esteem, pursue activities that make you feel good about yourself. For example, if you're good at listening to others, you could volunteer at a nursing home and spend time talking with people there. You can feel positive about doing good work that fits with your skillset.
Talk to yourself in a positive way. When you're faced with a challenge, tell yourself, "I can do this." When you do something well, congratulate yourself.
It can be very difficult to improve self-esteem, especially if you have any preexisting mental health conditions that affect your perception of yourself. If this is the case, consider seeing a therapist or counselor to talk through these issues. You can find a therapist by asking your general practitioner for a referral or looking online through your insurance company to see what practices and independent counselors accept your insurance. If you're a student, you may be eligible for free or discount coverage through your college or university.
1-5. Restrain negative impulses.
It's okay to have negative feelings from time to time. However, it's important to learn how to deal with these negative feelings in a constructive way, otherwise your behavior will be negatively influenced. You can do this by practicing emotional regulation, which is a way of processing your emotions to deal with them in a healthy way.
Emotion regulation is a step-by-step process. First, acknowledge that you are feeling anger or another negative emotion. Notice how it feels and give it a name. Think about what's causing the emotion. Take a moment to evaluate how you feel about having the emotion, and how you want to deal with it. Finally, choose an appropriate action to take.
Taking the time to process your emotion in this way will give you the chance to use the emotion in a healthy way instead of having an impulsive reaction. For example, let's say your daughter comes home after her curfew. Instead of angrily yelling at her, take the time to process your anger and decide on a course of deliberate action, such as scheduling a time to talk it over the next day.
Sometimes past trauma and abuse create emotional patterns that can impede the process of emotional regulation. You may find yourself having emotional outbursts that affect the people around you. Try distraction to help calm down, then work on productive inner dialogue, such as, “It’s okay, I’m just having a bad day. It happens from time to time. I’ll have a better day tomorrow.” It may also help to explain to the people around you, “I had a bad day, and I feel stressed and a bit upset. I’m going to go calm down for a little while first, then we can talk when I feel better.”
Forgiveness is important to being a good person. Forgiving others and yourself for past mistakes can untether you from feelings of resentment, distrust, and anger that could be affecting your behavior in the present.
If you have difficulty forgiving, and a tendency to hold grudges, talk to a therapist about how to let go of past resentments. Yoga, which preaches living in the moment in a spiritual sense, can also be helpful for learning to forgive.
1-6. Work on behaviors that could potentially be harmful to others.
Take stock of the person you are in the present moment and be honest. Is there anything in your life that's affecting your relationships with others? How can you go about fixing that?
Get your mental health in check. It's hard to be good to others when you struggle to take care of yourself. If you're suffering from depression, anxiety, or any other psychiatric issues seek help from a trained psychiatric professional. Being stable mentally can help you be a better person to those around you.
Confront any existing addictions. Addictions can be both physical (smoking, drinking, narcotics) or emotional (video games, internet). Whatever form they take, it can be very difficult to foster meaningful relationships and gain admiration and respect when you're struggling with an addiction. There are a variety of self assessment tests online to evaluate whether you show symptoms of addiction. If so, you should seek out help from a therapist. There are also support groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, that have centers in communities nationwide that can work to help you cope with addiction.
Keep your stress levels in check. If you're a high stress person, you may affect those around you without even realizing it. If you're very worried about your own issues and problems, you may inadvertently neglect or dismiss the needs of others. Meditation, therapy, regular exercise, and talking to a therapist or counselor can all help you manage your stress levels.
2. Interacting with Others
2-1. Be charismatic.
In order to get people to look up to you, charisma is important. Work on honing your speaking, listening, and story-telling skill to become a more interesting, charismatic, likable person.
To be a good listener, practice active listening. Instead of thinking about what your response will be, really listen and be present when someone is talking. Encourage them by nodding and asking questions.
Try to stay informed about the world around you. People tend to be impressed by people who are in-the-know and well informed. Read newspapers, magazines, and online journals. Keep track of current events. You do not necessarily need to have strong political views yourself but having some sense of the current conversation is important to come off as charismatic.
Use your body language to convey confidence. Maintain eye contact with others. Stand up straight. Nod and respond to what others are saying to convey interest and understanding. In conversation, ask about others. People are drawn to people who are genuinely interested in those around them.
Practice good story telling. People tend to admire people capable of telling good stories, so try and be able to entertain others with amusing personal anecdotes. It can help to listen to radio programs, like "The Moth" or "This American Life," to get a sense of good storytelling.
2-2. Be honest and assertive.
In other words, tell people how you really feel instead of sugarcoating it and hiding your true thoughts. This is a way to build people's trust in you. Being direct and honest with those around you will make you a better, more admired person.
Practice being honest with others about your actions, even when you made a mistake. For example, if you miss a deadline at work do not blame lack of sleep, stress, or other factors. Simply step up and say, "I wasn't paying attention and I screwed up. I will work harder next time."
Being honest even when it could hurt someone's feelings isn't always easy, but there's a way to do it without causing pain. Frame your feedback in a constructive way. For example, if someone asks for your opinion on a new shirt you don't think is attractive, you could say, "That's not my favorite shirt on you. How about I show you the shirt I love you in the most?"
However, do not offer unsolicited advice. This usually comes off as preachy and people are not generally receptive. Especially when dealing with sensitive issues, like someone's weight, job, or relationship status, it's best to hold your options to yourself unless you're specifically asked.
2-3. Give to others.
Being generous with friends and family members is a great way to be admired and to be a better person. Small, kind gestures go a long way.
If you're invited to a party, bring something to share. A snack or a drink will show the host you appreciated the invitation. Even if you know food will already be served, it couldn't hurt to bring a dish.
When going out with friends, offer to buy a round of drinks or be the designated driver.
If a friend is having a hard day, making them a small gift, like a homemade card or a baked good, can help.
Giving does not always have to be in the form of physical gifts. You can give people your time. For example, take an hour visit a friend in hospital or stop by a family member's house if they're going through a rough break up. Sometimes, just the presence of another person's positive energy is helpful.
2-4. Give back to your community.
Finally, being a good person should stretch out beyond the confines of your immediate friend circle. Find ways to give back to your community.
Volunteering is a great way to give back to your community. Try to find a cause you're passionate about and can contribute to. For example, if you're an avid reader, volunteer to read to children or the elderly at a hospital, nursing home, or daycare. If you love animals, see if they need volunteers at your local shelter.
Donating money can also help, but you can take it up a notch by fundraising. Offer to make phone calls to past donors on behalf of an organization you care about. Participate in fundraising activities like charity dinners, auctions, marathons, and other events.
You can also offer to help on a small scale. Pay attention to the neighborhood your live in. If you have elderly neighbors, offer to rake their leaves or shovel their driveway in the winter. If you have neighbors with young children, offer occasional free babysitting. If someone on your block loses a family member, stop by with homemade casseroles and pastas to help take some pressure off them during the grieving process.
Tips
Always be polite to others. Even if you're frustrated, try to talk to people in a calm, courteous manner.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Working on Yourself\\n1-1. Identify good personal qualities.\\nWhat makes a \\\"good\\\" person? Different people have different ideas and perspectives about what makes someone good, but there are a few traits that most will agree are desirable traits to have. Develop your own list of qualities you want to work on to become someone others look up to.\\nYou may determine that \\\"good\\\" means having integrity, being reliable, and being honest.\\nSome see goodness in humility, generosity and kindness.\\nThe ability to empathise with others and be nonjudgmental is another way to be good.\\n1-2. Be wary of seeking others' approval.\\nThere is nothing wrong with striving to be a good person. However, it's not a good idea to change yourself just to be popular. You can't be everything to everyone. Strive to be good for the sake of being good, not to impress others. After all, life is to express yourself, not to impress others.\\nIf your mission to change yourself is motivated by other people's opinion of you, it will be easy to get off track. You may find yourself catering to others' expectations instead of doing the right thing.\\nThat said, it's fine to want to set a good example for others, especially children. If you are a parent, the values you exhibit will leave an impression on your kids.\\n1-3. Be genuine.\\nBeing genuine means saying what you really think and backing up your words with actions. People admire those who are genuine because they don't try to pretend they are someone else, and you can trust they mean what they say.\\nTo work on being more genuine, see if you're living by your values. For example, if you value protecting the environment, does your lifestyle reflect that? Doing things like recycling, carpooling, conserving water, and so on are ways to be true to your belief that it's important to protect the environment. \\nAccept your whole self. Everyone has areas they know they are strong in and areas they know that don't come as easily. Everyone must deal with mistakes and not seeing a payoff for their efforts on the first try. People don't have to be perfect to be good. Genuine people are comfortable with the fact that they still have their challenges and strengths. They are also comfortable with having to try multiple times until they succeed.\\nDo not judge those around you. Genuine people tend to not compare others to themselves or to outside standards. Truly genuine people accept others for who they are. Try to avoid judging friends, family members, and co-workers.\\n1-4. Work on your self-esteem.\\nAcknowledge the good things about yourself and celebrate your successes. Being comfortable with yourself is vital to becoming a good, admired person. People tend to look up to those with reasonable self confidence and it's easier to think of others when you're not preoccupied with your own perceived inadequacies.\\nIf you feel you have low self esteem, pursue activities that make you feel good about yourself. For example, if you're good at listening to others, you could volunteer at a nursing home and spend time talking with people there. You can feel positive about doing good work that fits with your skillset.\\nTalk to yourself in a positive way. When you're faced with a challenge, tell yourself, \\\"I can do this.\\\" When you do something well, congratulate yourself.\\nIt can be very difficult to improve self-esteem, especially if you have any preexisting mental health conditions that affect your perception of yourself. If this is the case, consider seeing a therapist or counselor to talk through these issues. You can find a therapist by asking your general practitioner for a referral or looking online through your insurance company to see what practices and independent counselors accept your insurance. If you're a student, you may be eligible for free or discount coverage through your college or university.\\n1-5. Restrain negative impulses.\\nIt's okay to have negative feelings from time to time. However, it's important to learn how to deal with these negative feelings in a constructive way, otherwise your behavior will be negatively influenced. You can do this by practicing emotional regulation, which is a way of processing your emotions to deal with them in a healthy way.\\nEmotion regulation is a step-by-step process. First, acknowledge that you are feeling anger or another negative emotion. Notice how it feels and give it a name. Think about what's causing the emotion. Take a moment to evaluate how you feel about having the emotion, and how you want to deal with it. Finally, choose an appropriate action to take.\\nTaking the time to process your emotion in this way will give you the chance to use the emotion in a healthy way instead of having an impulsive reaction. For example, let's say your daughter comes home after her curfew. Instead of angrily yelling at her, take the time to process your anger and decide on a course of deliberate action, such as scheduling a time to talk it over the next day.\\nSometimes past trauma and abuse create emotional patterns that can impede the process of emotional regulation. You may find yourself having emotional outbursts that affect the people around you. Try distraction to help calm down, then work on productive inner dialogue, such as, “It’s okay, I’m just having a bad day. It happens from time to time. I’ll have a better day tomorrow.” It may also help to explain to the people around you, “I had a bad day, and I feel stressed and a bit upset. I’m going to go calm down for a little while first, then we can talk when I feel better.”\\nForgiveness is important to being a good person. Forgiving others and yourself for past mistakes can untether you from feelings of resentment, distrust, and anger that could be affecting your behavior in the present.\\nIf you have difficulty forgiving, and a tendency to hold grudges, talk to a therapist about how to let go of past resentments. Yoga, which preaches living in the moment in a spiritual sense, can also be helpful for learning to forgive.\\n1-6. Work on behaviors that could potentially be harmful to others.\\nTake stock of the person you are in the present moment and be honest. Is there anything in your life that's affecting your relationships with others? How can you go about fixing that?\\nGet your mental health in check. It's hard to be good to others when you struggle to take care of yourself. If you're suffering from depression, anxiety, or any other psychiatric issues seek help from a trained psychiatric professional. Being stable mentally can help you be a better person to those around you.\\nConfront any existing addictions. Addictions can be both physical (smoking, drinking, narcotics) or emotional (video games, internet). Whatever form they take, it can be very difficult to foster meaningful relationships and gain admiration and respect when you're struggling with an addiction. There are a variety of self assessment tests online to evaluate whether you show symptoms of addiction. If so, you should seek out help from a therapist. There are also support groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, that have centers in communities nationwide that can work to help you cope with addiction.\\n Keep your stress levels in check. If you're a high stress person, you may affect those around you without even realizing it. If you're very worried about your own issues and problems, you may inadvertently neglect or dismiss the needs of others. Meditation, therapy, regular exercise, and talking to a therapist or counselor can all help you manage your stress levels.\\n2. Interacting with Others\\n2-1. Be charismatic.\\nIn order to get people to look up to you, charisma is important. Work on honing your speaking, listening, and story-telling skill to become a more interesting, charismatic, likable person.\\n\\n To be a good listener, practice active listening. Instead of thinking about what your response will be, really listen and be present when someone is talking. Encourage them by nodding and asking questions.\\nTry to stay informed about the world around you. People tend to be impressed by people who are in-the-know and well informed. Read newspapers, magazines, and online journals. Keep track of current events. You do not necessarily need to have strong political views yourself but having some sense of the current conversation is important to come off as charismatic.\\nUse your body language to convey confidence. Maintain eye contact with others. Stand up straight. Nod and respond to what others are saying to convey interest and understanding. In conversation, ask about others. People are drawn to people who are genuinely interested in those around them.\\nPractice good story telling. People tend to admire people capable of telling good stories, so try and be able to entertain others with amusing personal anecdotes. It can help to listen to radio programs, like \\\"The Moth\\\" or \\\"This American Life,\\\" to get a sense of good storytelling.\\n2-2. Be honest and assertive.\\nIn other words, tell people how you really feel instead of sugarcoating it and hiding your true thoughts. This is a way to build people's trust in you. Being direct and honest with those around you will make you a better, more admired person.\\nPractice being honest with others about your actions, even when you made a mistake. For example, if you miss a deadline at work do not blame lack of sleep, stress, or other factors. Simply step up and say, \\\"I wasn't paying attention and I screwed up. I will work harder next time.\\\"\\nBeing honest even when it could hurt someone's feelings isn't always easy, but there's a way to do it without causing pain. Frame your feedback in a constructive way. For example, if someone asks for your opinion on a new shirt you don't think is attractive, you could say, \\\"That's not my favorite shirt on you. How about I show you the shirt I love you in the most?\\\"\\nHowever, do not offer unsolicited advice. This usually comes off as preachy and people are not generally receptive. Especially when dealing with sensitive issues, like someone's weight, job, or relationship status, it's best to hold your options to yourself unless you're specifically asked.\\n2-3. Give to others.\\nBeing generous with friends and family members is a great way to be admired and to be a better person. Small, kind gestures go a long way.\\nIf you're invited to a party, bring something to share. A snack or a drink will show the host you appreciated the invitation. Even if you know food will already be served, it couldn't hurt to bring a dish.\\nWhen going out with friends, offer to buy a round of drinks or be the designated driver.\\nIf a friend is having a hard day, making them a small gift, like a homemade card or a baked good, can help.\\nGiving does not always have to be in the form of physical gifts. You can give people your time. For example, take an hour visit a friend in hospital or stop by a family member's house if they're going through a rough break up. Sometimes, just the presence of another person's positive energy is helpful.\\n2-4. Give back to your community.\\nFinally, being a good person should stretch out beyond the confines of your immediate friend circle. Find ways to give back to your community.\\nVolunteering is a great way to give back to your community. Try to find a cause you're passionate about and can contribute to. For example, if you're an avid reader, volunteer to read to children or the elderly at a hospital, nursing home, or daycare. If you love animals, see if they need volunteers at your local shelter.\\nDonating money can also help, but you can take it up a notch by fundraising. Offer to make phone calls to past donors on behalf of an organization you care about. Participate in fundraising activities like charity dinners, auctions, marathons, and other events.\\nYou can also offer to help on a small scale. Pay attention to the neighborhood your live in. If you have elderly neighbors, offer to rake their leaves or shovel their driveway in the winter. If you have neighbors with young children, offer occasional free babysitting. If someone on your block loses a family member, stop by with homemade casseroles and pastas to help take some pressure off them during the grieving process.\\nTips\\nAlways be polite to others. Even if you're frustrated, try to talk to people in a calm, courteous manner.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you want to become a better person, you have to start by working on yourself. A lot of self reflection and self investment is needed before you can interact with others in a kind, compassionate manner. If you want to be admired, work on yourself and then reach out to others through genuine compassion and charity.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Working on Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify good personal qualities.\", \"描述\": \"What makes a \\\"good\\\" person? Different people have different ideas and perspectives about what makes someone good, but there are a few traits that most will agree are desirable traits to have. Develop your own list of qualities you want to work on to become someone others look up to.\\nYou may determine that \\\"good\\\" means having integrity, being reliable, and being honest.\\nSome see goodness in humility, generosity and kindness.\\nThe ability to empathise with others and be nonjudgmental is another way to be good.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be wary of seeking others' approval.\", \"描述\": \"There is nothing wrong with striving to be a good person. However, it's not a good idea to change yourself just to be popular. You can't be everything to everyone. Strive to be good for the sake of being good, not to impress others. After all, life is to express yourself, not to impress others.\\nIf your mission to change yourself is motivated by other people's opinion of you, it will be easy to get off track. You may find yourself catering to others' expectations instead of doing the right thing.\\nThat said, it's fine to want to set a good example for others, especially children. If you are a parent, the values you exhibit will leave an impression on your kids.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be genuine.\", \"描述\": \"Being genuine means saying what you really think and backing up your words with actions. People admire those who are genuine because they don't try to pretend they are someone else, and you can trust they mean what they say.\\nTo work on being more genuine, see if you're living by your values. For example, if you value protecting the environment, does your lifestyle reflect that? Doing things like recycling, carpooling, conserving water, and so on are ways to be true to your belief that it's important to protect the environment. \\nAccept your whole self. Everyone has areas they know they are strong in and areas they know that don't come as easily. Everyone must deal with mistakes and not seeing a payoff for their efforts on the first try. People don't have to be perfect to be good. Genuine people are comfortable with the fact that they still have their challenges and strengths. They are also comfortable with having to try multiple times until they succeed.\\nDo not judge those around you. Genuine people tend to not compare others to themselves or to outside standards. Truly genuine people accept others for who they are. Try to avoid judging friends, family members, and co-workers.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work on your self-esteem.\", \"描述\": \"Acknowledge the good things about yourself and celebrate your successes. Being comfortable with yourself is vital to becoming a good, admired person. People tend to look up to those with reasonable self confidence and it's easier to think of others when you're not preoccupied with your own perceived inadequacies.\\nIf you feel you have low self esteem, pursue activities that make you feel good about yourself. For example, if you're good at listening to others, you could volunteer at a nursing home and spend time talking with people there. You can feel positive about doing good work that fits with your skillset.\\nTalk to yourself in a positive way. When you're faced with a challenge, tell yourself, \\\"I can do this.\\\" When you do something well, congratulate yourself.\\nIt can be very difficult to improve self-esteem, especially if you have any preexisting mental health conditions that affect your perception of yourself. If this is the case, consider seeing a therapist or counselor to talk through these issues. You can find a therapist by asking your general practitioner for a referral or looking online through your insurance company to see what practices and independent counselors accept your insurance. If you're a student, you may be eligible for free or discount coverage through your college or university.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Restrain negative impulses.\", \"描述\": \"It's okay to have negative feelings from time to time. However, it's important to learn how to deal with these negative feelings in a constructive way, otherwise your behavior will be negatively influenced. You can do this by practicing emotional regulation, which is a way of processing your emotions to deal with them in a healthy way.\\nEmotion regulation is a step-by-step process. First, acknowledge that you are feeling anger or another negative emotion. Notice how it feels and give it a name. Think about what's causing the emotion. Take a moment to evaluate how you feel about having the emotion, and how you want to deal with it. Finally, choose an appropriate action to take.\\nTaking the time to process your emotion in this way will give you the chance to use the emotion in a healthy way instead of having an impulsive reaction. For example, let's say your daughter comes home after her curfew. Instead of angrily yelling at her, take the time to process your anger and decide on a course of deliberate action, such as scheduling a time to talk it over the next day.\\nSometimes past trauma and abuse create emotional patterns that can impede the process of emotional regulation. You may find yourself having emotional outbursts that affect the people around you. Try distraction to help calm down, then work on productive inner dialogue, such as, “It’s okay, I’m just having a bad day. It happens from time to time. I’ll have a better day tomorrow.” It may also help to explain to the people around you, “I had a bad day, and I feel stressed and a bit upset. I’m going to go calm down for a little while first, then we can talk when I feel better.”\\nForgiveness is important to being a good person. Forgiving others and yourself for past mistakes can untether you from feelings of resentment, distrust, and anger that could be affecting your behavior in the present.\\nIf you have difficulty forgiving, and a tendency to hold grudges, talk to a therapist about how to let go of past resentments. Yoga, which preaches living in the moment in a spiritual sense, can also be helpful for learning to forgive.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Work on behaviors that could potentially be harmful to others.\", \"描述\": \"Take stock of the person you are in the present moment and be honest. Is there anything in your life that's affecting your relationships with others? How can you go about fixing that?\\nGet your mental health in check. It's hard to be good to others when you struggle to take care of yourself. If you're suffering from depression, anxiety, or any other psychiatric issues seek help from a trained psychiatric professional. Being stable mentally can help you be a better person to those around you.\\nConfront any existing addictions. Addictions can be both physical (smoking, drinking, narcotics) or emotional (video games, internet). Whatever form they take, it can be very difficult to foster meaningful relationships and gain admiration and respect when you're struggling with an addiction. There are a variety of self assessment tests online to evaluate whether you show symptoms of addiction. If so, you should seek out help from a therapist. There are also support groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, that have centers in communities nationwide that can work to help you cope with addiction.\\n Keep your stress levels in check. If you're a high stress person, you may affect those around you without even realizing it. If you're very worried about your own issues and problems, you may inadvertently neglect or dismiss the needs of others. Meditation, therapy, regular exercise, and talking to a therapist or counselor can all help you manage your stress levels.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Interacting with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be charismatic.\", \"描述\": \"In order to get people to look up to you, charisma is important. Work on honing your speaking, listening, and story-telling skill to become a more interesting, charismatic, likable person.\\n\\n To be a good listener, practice active listening. Instead of thinking about what your response will be, really listen and be present when someone is talking. Encourage them by nodding and asking questions.\\nTry to stay informed about the world around you. People tend to be impressed by people who are in-the-know and well informed. Read newspapers, magazines, and online journals. Keep track of current events. You do not necessarily need to have strong political views yourself but having some sense of the current conversation is important to come off as charismatic.\\nUse your body language to convey confidence. Maintain eye contact with others. Stand up straight. Nod and respond to what others are saying to convey interest and understanding. In conversation, ask about others. People are drawn to people who are genuinely interested in those around them.\\nPractice good story telling. People tend to admire people capable of telling good stories, so try and be able to entertain others with amusing personal anecdotes. It can help to listen to radio programs, like \\\"The Moth\\\" or \\\"This American Life,\\\" to get a sense of good storytelling.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be honest and assertive.\", \"描述\": \"In other words, tell people how you really feel instead of sugarcoating it and hiding your true thoughts. This is a way to build people's trust in you. Being direct and honest with those around you will make you a better, more admired person.\\nPractice being honest with others about your actions, even when you made a mistake. For example, if you miss a deadline at work do not blame lack of sleep, stress, or other factors. Simply step up and say, \\\"I wasn't paying attention and I screwed up. I will work harder next time.\\\"\\nBeing honest even when it could hurt someone's feelings isn't always easy, but there's a way to do it without causing pain. Frame your feedback in a constructive way. For example, if someone asks for your opinion on a new shirt you don't think is attractive, you could say, \\\"That's not my favorite shirt on you. How about I show you the shirt I love you in the most?\\\"\\nHowever, do not offer unsolicited advice. This usually comes off as preachy and people are not generally receptive. Especially when dealing with sensitive issues, like someone's weight, job, or relationship status, it's best to hold your options to yourself unless you're specifically asked.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give to others.\", \"描述\": \"Being generous with friends and family members is a great way to be admired and to be a better person. Small, kind gestures go a long way.\\nIf you're invited to a party, bring something to share. A snack or a drink will show the host you appreciated the invitation. Even if you know food will already be served, it couldn't hurt to bring a dish.\\nWhen going out with friends, offer to buy a round of drinks or be the designated driver.\\nIf a friend is having a hard day, making them a small gift, like a homemade card or a baked good, can help.\\nGiving does not always have to be in the form of physical gifts. You can give people your time. For example, take an hour visit a friend in hospital or stop by a family member's house if they're going through a rough break up. Sometimes, just the presence of another person's positive energy is helpful.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give back to your community.\", \"描述\": \"Finally, being a good person should stretch out beyond the confines of your immediate friend circle. Find ways to give back to your community.\\nVolunteering is a great way to give back to your community. Try to find a cause you're passionate about and can contribute to. For example, if you're an avid reader, volunteer to read to children or the elderly at a hospital, nursing home, or daycare. If you love animals, see if they need volunteers at your local shelter.\\nDonating money can also help, but you can take it up a notch by fundraising. Offer to make phone calls to past donors on behalf of an organization you care about. Participate in fundraising activities like charity dinners, auctions, marathons, and other events.\\nYou can also offer to help on a small scale. Pay attention to the neighborhood your live in. If you have elderly neighbors, offer to rake their leaves or shovel their driveway in the winter. If you have neighbors with young children, offer occasional free babysitting. If someone on your block loses a family member, stop by with homemade casseroles and pastas to help take some pressure off them during the grieving process.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always be polite to others. Even if you're frustrated, try to talk to people in a calm, courteous manner.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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wikihow
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4,497 |
How to Be a Good Personal Assistant
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1. Steps
1-1. Develop Good Interpersonal Skills - A good PA is unflappable under pressure.
They are calm and able to think on their feet. The ability to work well with others, particularly difficult personalities is essential as top level PA's work with CEO's in very pressurized environments.
1-2. Develop Good Communication Skills - They are the first point of contact for customers and clients, therefore PA's need to be good verbal communicators with a pleasant, yet professional manner.
The ability to influence people is also essential, as PA's need to negotiate with others for time and resources. Good written communication skills are necessary because PA's often respond to communications on the boss's behalf, and sometimes write reports and executive summaries.
1-3. Develop Good IT Skills - A good corporate Personal Assistant is expected to have the following IT skills:
Microsoft Word (Advanced); Microsoft Excel (Intermediate); Microsoft PowerPoint (Advanced); a good working knowledge of an email package like Microsoft Outlook, Lotus Notes, or Eudora. It is beneficial to have a good grasp of a database software like Microsoft Access, and some knowledge of Microsoft Project.
1-4. Develop Good Internet Skills - PA's should also be internet savvy, as they may be required to do research or perform tasks which require a good knowledge of the internet environment.
A good knowledge of e-commerce is a definite plus. An understanding of internet marketing and search engine behavior will allow PA's to add value to their role and provide the best possible assistance to their boss.
1-5. Develop an Interest in Office Technology - In today's technologically advanced society, it is essential that PA's have a good understanding of new technology.
PA's should keep abreast of the latest office gadgets and technology as they are expected to know how to fix the office photocopier and understand the features on the boss's Blackberry. A good PA will recommend changes in office technology to improve efficiency. They will do the necessary research to understand how implementing new technology will be cost effective for the company.
1-6. Develop the Necessary Skills to:
monitor the boss’s email and respond on their behalf; delegate work on the boss's behalf; manage the boss’s electronic diary; take dictation; prepare papers for meetings; book, manage, and minute meetings; organize and manage events; make complicated travel arrangements; prepare complex itineraries; manage a budget; attend events/meetings as the boss’s representative; conduct internet research; prepare presentations; write correspondence, reports, newsletters and executive summaries; update intranets and websites; maintain effective office filing systems; quickly and accurately type documents; source office equipment and stationery; manage projects; and supervise staff.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Develop Good Interpersonal Skills - A good PA is unflappable under pressure.\\nThey are calm and able to think on their feet. The ability to work well with others, particularly difficult personalities is essential as top level PA's work with CEO's in very pressurized environments.\\n1-2. Develop Good Communication Skills - They are the first point of contact for customers and clients, therefore PA's need to be good verbal communicators with a pleasant, yet professional manner.\\nThe ability to influence people is also essential, as PA's need to negotiate with others for time and resources. Good written communication skills are necessary because PA's often respond to communications on the boss's behalf, and sometimes write reports and executive summaries.\\n1-3. Develop Good IT Skills - A good corporate Personal Assistant is expected to have the following IT skills:\\nMicrosoft Word (Advanced); Microsoft Excel (Intermediate); Microsoft PowerPoint (Advanced); a good working knowledge of an email package like Microsoft Outlook, Lotus Notes, or Eudora. It is beneficial to have a good grasp of a database software like Microsoft Access, and some knowledge of Microsoft Project.\\n1-4. Develop Good Internet Skills - PA's should also be internet savvy, as they may be required to do research or perform tasks which require a good knowledge of the internet environment.\\nA good knowledge of e-commerce is a definite plus. An understanding of internet marketing and search engine behavior will allow PA's to add value to their role and provide the best possible assistance to their boss.\\n1-5. Develop an Interest in Office Technology - In today's technologically advanced society, it is essential that PA's have a good understanding of new technology.\\nPA's should keep abreast of the latest office gadgets and technology as they are expected to know how to fix the office photocopier and understand the features on the boss's Blackberry. A good PA will recommend changes in office technology to improve efficiency. They will do the necessary research to understand how implementing new technology will be cost effective for the company.\\n1-6. Develop the Necessary Skills to:\\nmonitor the boss’s email and respond on their behalf; delegate work on the boss's behalf; manage the boss’s electronic diary; take dictation; prepare papers for meetings; book, manage, and minute meetings; organize and manage events; make complicated travel arrangements; prepare complex itineraries; manage a budget; attend events/meetings as the boss’s representative; conduct internet research; prepare presentations; write correspondence, reports, newsletters and executive summaries; update intranets and websites; maintain effective office filing systems; quickly and accurately type documents; source office equipment and stationery; manage projects; and supervise staff.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This article outlines the skills and attributes that need to be developed to be a good corporate Personal Assistant (PA). Use this article as a checklist to highlight areas that need development.\\nThe best corporate Personal Assistant positions command a good salary but getting to the top of the PA profession requires a number of skills and competencies. Professionalism and confidentiality are the trademarks of a good Personal Assistant. Top end PA recruitment agencies expect PA's to be organized, efficient, self-motivated, and IT literate.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop Good Interpersonal Skills - A good PA is unflappable under pressure.\", \"描述\": \"They are calm and able to think on their feet. The ability to work well with others, particularly difficult personalities is essential as top level PA's work with CEO's in very pressurized environments.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Develop Good Communication Skills - They are the first point of contact for customers and clients, therefore PA's need to be good verbal communicators with a pleasant, yet professional manner.\", \"描述\": \"The ability to influence people is also essential, as PA's need to negotiate with others for time and resources. Good written communication skills are necessary because PA's often respond to communications on the boss's behalf, and sometimes write reports and executive summaries.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Develop Good IT Skills - A good corporate Personal Assistant is expected to have the following IT skills:\", \"描述\": \"Microsoft Word (Advanced); Microsoft Excel (Intermediate); Microsoft PowerPoint (Advanced); a good working knowledge of an email package like Microsoft Outlook, Lotus Notes, or Eudora. It is beneficial to have a good grasp of a database software like Microsoft Access, and some knowledge of Microsoft Project.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Develop Good Internet Skills - PA's should also be internet savvy, as they may be required to do research or perform tasks which require a good knowledge of the internet environment.\", \"描述\": \"A good knowledge of e-commerce is a definite plus. An understanding of internet marketing and search engine behavior will allow PA's to add value to their role and provide the best possible assistance to their boss.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Develop an Interest in Office Technology - In today's technologically advanced society, it is essential that PA's have a good understanding of new technology.\", \"描述\": \"PA's should keep abreast of the latest office gadgets and technology as they are expected to know how to fix the office photocopier and understand the features on the boss's Blackberry. A good PA will recommend changes in office technology to improve efficiency. They will do the necessary research to understand how implementing new technology will be cost effective for the company.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Develop the Necessary Skills to:\", \"描述\": \"monitor the boss’s email and respond on their behalf; delegate work on the boss's behalf; manage the boss’s electronic diary; take dictation; prepare papers for meetings; book, manage, and minute meetings; organize and manage events; make complicated travel arrangements; prepare complex itineraries; manage a budget; attend events/meetings as the boss’s representative; conduct internet research; prepare presentations; write correspondence, reports, newsletters and executive summaries; update intranets and websites; maintain effective office filing systems; quickly and accurately type documents; source office equipment and stationery; manage projects; and supervise staff.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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4,498 |
How to Be a Good Pet Owner
|
1. Providing Proper Nutrition
1-1. Provide your pet with a healthy, balanced diet.
While your pet's diet will vary depending on what type of animal it is, it's important to feed it fresh food regularly. Choose food that's specific to your pet, and only give your pet treats occasionally. If you have any questions about what to feed your pet, consult your veterinarian.
Sometimes diets can vary between different breeds or species of the same animal. For example, although they're both birds, a parrot and a macaw eat different diets in the wild, and their nutritional needs are also different in captivity.
Your pet's dietary needs may change as it ages. Talk to your vet about your pet's different life stages and what food is most appropriate for each one.
Look for pet food that contains healthy ingredients you recognize.
1-2. Feed your pet the recommended amount of food at each meal.
Be sure to follow the guidelines for how much your pet needs to eat each day. Overfeeding leads to obesity, which can cause other health problems. These could include heart disease, kidney problems, diabetes, and more.
If you're not sure how much food you should be giving your pet, ask your veterinarian.
1-3. Know what foods you should never give your pet.
Certain foods are toxic to some animals, so be sure you know what you can and can't give your pet before you offer it a treat. For example, while it's perfectly fine to give your dog small bits of chicken or fish, you should never give them food containing chocolate or garlic, as these can be toxic.
Even some pet foods can be dangerous if fed to the wrong animal. For instance, you shouldn't feed cat food to a dog, or vice versa. Cat food contains high levels of taurine, which is necessary to a cat's diet but which can be dangerous to dogs in high doses. On the other hand, dog food doesn't contain the taurine your cat needs to be healthy.
1-4. Give your pet fresh water every day.
All animals require water to live, although some will need much more than others. Regardless of the size of your pet, make sure that it always has access to fresh, clean water. Check or refill the water once or twice a day, and if they drink from a bowl, wash out the bowl every 2 to 3 days.
If you have a pet that lives in an aquarium, change the water and clean the tank at least once a week.
2. Keeping Your Pet Healthy
2-1. Provide a safe, clean environment for your pet.
If you have a small animal, ensure that it has a safe cage with a secure door. If your pet is larger, it should have somewhere that it can go if it feels tired or scared, like a kennel for a dog or a barn stall for a horse. Keep your animal's living area, bedding, and food area neat by cleaning it every day.
Make sure to pet-proof your home to make sure there isn't anything dangerous that could hurt your pet. Secure any chemicals or electrical cables, put fragile items somewhere secure so they can't get knocked over, and ensure your pet can't escape from your home.
Do not leave poop in your pet's living area. Clean it up as soon as you see it, even if you have an outside animal. Some parasites in feces, including toxoplasmosis and roundworm, become more infectious over time. If you have a cat, remember to clean out its litter box daily. An unclean litter box may cause your cat to go outside of the litter box.
2-2. Have your pet microchipped or give it an ID tag in case it escapes.
Even if you keep your pet indoors, there's always a chance it could accidentally get outside and get lost. If you have a microchip inserted at your vet, anyone who finds your pet can take it to be scanned, and the chip will let them know your contact information. Similarly, an ID tag should have your name and phone number so anyone who finds your pet can call you.
Collars with an ID tag can sometimes fall off, so a microchip is the most secure option.
Remember to update the information on the microchip if your contact information changes!
If you do opt for a collar with an ID tag, consider using a breakaway collar. That way, if it gets snagged on anything, your pet won't be choked.
2-3. Groom your pet as needed.
Your pet's grooming needs will depend on the type of animal it is. After all, a long-haired cat will need to be groomed very differently than a pig. However, it is important that you know what your animal's grooming needs are, and you attend to them as often as needed. This might mean combing or brushing your pet, bathing it, and clipping its nails, for instance.
Some animals NEVER need to be bathed. For example, a hamster will clean itself by rolling around in a bowl of sand.
If your animal's teeth or beak grows continuously, make sure it has wooden chew toys to keep its teeth or beak filed down.
In addition to being good for the animal, grooming provides bonding time between you and your pet. It will also give you a chance to spot any injuries or other unusual spots that develop.
2-4. Provide your pet with toys if it likes them.
Play time is very important to a lot of animals. Not only does it provide valuable exercise, but it also helps them hone their instinctive skills, such as hunting or problem-solving. Offer your pet different toys to see what it likes, then rotate the toys regularly to keep your pet interested in them.
A hamster will enjoy having a wheel and a few wooden chew toys, for instance.
If you have a horse, it might enjoy playing with a puzzle that dispenses treats.
Be sure the toys you provide are recommended for your type of animal. For example, if you give a small cat toy to a large dog, it could swallow it and choke.
2-5. Spay or neuter your pet if your vet recommends it.
When you get your pet, talk to your vet about when you should get it spayed or neutered. While not all animals need this procedure, it's usually a good idea for common pets like cats and dogs. Often, your vet will prefer to perform this procedure while your pet is still young, although many adult animals can safely have the surgery as well.
Not only will spaying or neutering your pet prevent unwanted babies, but it will also keep your pet safe. When pets become preoccupied with mating, they will often roam away from home, where they could get lost, wander into the road, or encounter other animals. In addition, they could become engaged in competitive mating behaviors, which could lead to injury.
Having your pet spayed or neutered may also improve its health in the long term.
Neutering male kittens will help prevent unwanted spaying in the future.
2-6. Tend to your pet's medical needs.
When you first get your pet, ask your vet if there are any vaccinations you should get for it. Even if your pet seems healthy, take it back to the vet once or twice a year for a wellness check, as well as anytime it seems sick or injured, or its behavior changes for no apparent reason.
If your pet is unusually lethargic, stops eating, or develops unusual swelling, for instance, you should take it to the vet.
Your vet can also advise you whether you should be giving your pet flea, tick, or heartworm medication.
3. Spending Time with Your Pet
3-1. Spend some time researching your pet before you bring it home.
Understand what your pet's exact needs will be, from its diet to its shelter. Then, make sure you have everything your pet will need before you bring it home. That way, you can spend your time bonding with your pet, rather than worrying about what supplies you'll need.
Think about your individual situation when you're choosing a pet. If you're very active and spend a lot of time outside, an energetic dog breed might be a great option for you. On the other hand, if you work long hours, a solitary reptile might fit your lifestyle better.
When you're choosing your pet, remember that you're signing up for a commitment. You'll be responsible for your pet's food and water, grooming, training, and medical care for the rest of its life.
3-2. Supervise the introduction of a new pet to any animals you already have.
If you already have a pet and you're choosing a new one, make sure you give the animals plenty of time to get used to each other before you leave them alone together. Animals can sometimes be territorial, and they may fight. It can sometimes help to introduce them in a neutral area, like a room the pets aren't normally allowed to go into, or a new cage or tank for smaller animals and fish.
For example, to introduce 2 hamsters, you could place them in a clean tank with new bedding, so neither one will feel like it is "their" territory.
If you already have a pet and you're choosing a new one, make sure you supervise any introductions and give the animals several days or even weeks to get used to each other before you leave them alone together.
3-3. Socialize with your pet every day.
In order to make sure your pet is comfortable around you, spend at least 30 minutes a day with it. This might mean playing, cuddling, grooming, or training, but the important thing is that you're consistently making time to let your pet know they're important to you.
Dogs and cats are especially sensitive to getting plenty of affection every day.
Pets like snakes and turtles might not need to be handled every day. However, spending time around their habitat each day will make them more comfortable with your presence.
3-4. Learn how your pet likes to be handled.
Different pets like to be touched or picked up in different ways. Pay attention to your pet's body language while you're handling it. If it seems relaxed, it probably enjoys what you're doing. If it tenses up, tries to leave the area, or acts aggressive, you may have done something it didn't like. Try to avoid doing that again in the future.
Every pet's likes and dislikes will be different. For instance, some cats love getting belly rubs, but other cats will bite and scratch if you try to touch them on the stomach.
3-5. Make sure your pet gets enough exercise.
Many animals need to be taken out of their habitat and exercised. In some cases, this should be done daily, while in others it might only be a few times a week. Learn about your pet's exercise needs and make some extra time to give them a good workout when they need it.
For example, you might take your dog for a walk, have your cat chase a feather on a string, or place your hamster in an exercise ball.
3-6. Be patient with your pet.
Your pet won't always know what to do, and sometimes it will act out. This is usually a way to try to get attention, or because they're bored or aren't getting enough exercise. Sometimes, it might even be the result of a trauma they experienced in the past. Be patient and try to solve the underlying problem so you'll get along better with your pet!
Never yell at, hit, or kick your pet. This will destroy the bond between you and your pet. Treating your pet this way may also lead your pet to become fearful or even aggressive.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Providing Proper Nutrition\\n1-1. Provide your pet with a healthy, balanced diet.\\nWhile your pet's diet will vary depending on what type of animal it is, it's important to feed it fresh food regularly. Choose food that's specific to your pet, and only give your pet treats occasionally. If you have any questions about what to feed your pet, consult your veterinarian.\\nSometimes diets can vary between different breeds or species of the same animal. For example, although they're both birds, a parrot and a macaw eat different diets in the wild, and their nutritional needs are also different in captivity.\\nYour pet's dietary needs may change as it ages. Talk to your vet about your pet's different life stages and what food is most appropriate for each one.\\nLook for pet food that contains healthy ingredients you recognize.\\n1-2. Feed your pet the recommended amount of food at each meal.\\nBe sure to follow the guidelines for how much your pet needs to eat each day. Overfeeding leads to obesity, which can cause other health problems. These could include heart disease, kidney problems, diabetes, and more.\\nIf you're not sure how much food you should be giving your pet, ask your veterinarian.\\n1-3. Know what foods you should never give your pet.\\nCertain foods are toxic to some animals, so be sure you know what you can and can't give your pet before you offer it a treat. For example, while it's perfectly fine to give your dog small bits of chicken or fish, you should never give them food containing chocolate or garlic, as these can be toxic.\\nEven some pet foods can be dangerous if fed to the wrong animal. For instance, you shouldn't feed cat food to a dog, or vice versa. Cat food contains high levels of taurine, which is necessary to a cat's diet but which can be dangerous to dogs in high doses. On the other hand, dog food doesn't contain the taurine your cat needs to be healthy.\\n1-4. Give your pet fresh water every day.\\nAll animals require water to live, although some will need much more than others. Regardless of the size of your pet, make sure that it always has access to fresh, clean water. Check or refill the water once or twice a day, and if they drink from a bowl, wash out the bowl every 2 to 3 days.\\nIf you have a pet that lives in an aquarium, change the water and clean the tank at least once a week.\\n2. Keeping Your Pet Healthy\\n2-1. Provide a safe, clean environment for your pet.\\nIf you have a small animal, ensure that it has a safe cage with a secure door. If your pet is larger, it should have somewhere that it can go if it feels tired or scared, like a kennel for a dog or a barn stall for a horse. Keep your animal's living area, bedding, and food area neat by cleaning it every day.\\nMake sure to pet-proof your home to make sure there isn't anything dangerous that could hurt your pet. Secure any chemicals or electrical cables, put fragile items somewhere secure so they can't get knocked over, and ensure your pet can't escape from your home.\\nDo not leave poop in your pet's living area. Clean it up as soon as you see it, even if you have an outside animal. Some parasites in feces, including toxoplasmosis and roundworm, become more infectious over time. If you have a cat, remember to clean out its litter box daily. An unclean litter box may cause your cat to go outside of the litter box.\\n2-2. Have your pet microchipped or give it an ID tag in case it escapes.\\nEven if you keep your pet indoors, there's always a chance it could accidentally get outside and get lost. If you have a microchip inserted at your vet, anyone who finds your pet can take it to be scanned, and the chip will let them know your contact information. Similarly, an ID tag should have your name and phone number so anyone who finds your pet can call you.\\nCollars with an ID tag can sometimes fall off, so a microchip is the most secure option.\\nRemember to update the information on the microchip if your contact information changes!\\nIf you do opt for a collar with an ID tag, consider using a breakaway collar. That way, if it gets snagged on anything, your pet won't be choked.\\n2-3. Groom your pet as needed.\\nYour pet's grooming needs will depend on the type of animal it is. After all, a long-haired cat will need to be groomed very differently than a pig. However, it is important that you know what your animal's grooming needs are, and you attend to them as often as needed. This might mean combing or brushing your pet, bathing it, and clipping its nails, for instance.\\nSome animals NEVER need to be bathed. For example, a hamster will clean itself by rolling around in a bowl of sand.\\nIf your animal's teeth or beak grows continuously, make sure it has wooden chew toys to keep its teeth or beak filed down.\\nIn addition to being good for the animal, grooming provides bonding time between you and your pet. It will also give you a chance to spot any injuries or other unusual spots that develop.\\n2-4. Provide your pet with toys if it likes them.\\nPlay time is very important to a lot of animals. Not only does it provide valuable exercise, but it also helps them hone their instinctive skills, such as hunting or problem-solving. Offer your pet different toys to see what it likes, then rotate the toys regularly to keep your pet interested in them.\\nA hamster will enjoy having a wheel and a few wooden chew toys, for instance.\\nIf you have a horse, it might enjoy playing with a puzzle that dispenses treats.\\nBe sure the toys you provide are recommended for your type of animal. For example, if you give a small cat toy to a large dog, it could swallow it and choke.\\n2-5. Spay or neuter your pet if your vet recommends it.\\nWhen you get your pet, talk to your vet about when you should get it spayed or neutered. While not all animals need this procedure, it's usually a good idea for common pets like cats and dogs. Often, your vet will prefer to perform this procedure while your pet is still young, although many adult animals can safely have the surgery as well.\\nNot only will spaying or neutering your pet prevent unwanted babies, but it will also keep your pet safe. When pets become preoccupied with mating, they will often roam away from home, where they could get lost, wander into the road, or encounter other animals. In addition, they could become engaged in competitive mating behaviors, which could lead to injury.\\nHaving your pet spayed or neutered may also improve its health in the long term.\\nNeutering male kittens will help prevent unwanted spaying in the future.\\n2-6. Tend to your pet's medical needs.\\nWhen you first get your pet, ask your vet if there are any vaccinations you should get for it. Even if your pet seems healthy, take it back to the vet once or twice a year for a wellness check, as well as anytime it seems sick or injured, or its behavior changes for no apparent reason.\\nIf your pet is unusually lethargic, stops eating, or develops unusual swelling, for instance, you should take it to the vet.\\nYour vet can also advise you whether you should be giving your pet flea, tick, or heartworm medication.\\n3. Spending Time with Your Pet\\n3-1. Spend some time researching your pet before you bring it home.\\nUnderstand what your pet's exact needs will be, from its diet to its shelter. Then, make sure you have everything your pet will need before you bring it home. That way, you can spend your time bonding with your pet, rather than worrying about what supplies you'll need.\\nThink about your individual situation when you're choosing a pet. If you're very active and spend a lot of time outside, an energetic dog breed might be a great option for you. On the other hand, if you work long hours, a solitary reptile might fit your lifestyle better.\\nWhen you're choosing your pet, remember that you're signing up for a commitment. You'll be responsible for your pet's food and water, grooming, training, and medical care for the rest of its life.\\n3-2. Supervise the introduction of a new pet to any animals you already have.\\nIf you already have a pet and you're choosing a new one, make sure you give the animals plenty of time to get used to each other before you leave them alone together. Animals can sometimes be territorial, and they may fight. It can sometimes help to introduce them in a neutral area, like a room the pets aren't normally allowed to go into, or a new cage or tank for smaller animals and fish.\\nFor example, to introduce 2 hamsters, you could place them in a clean tank with new bedding, so neither one will feel like it is \\\"their\\\" territory.\\nIf you already have a pet and you're choosing a new one, make sure you supervise any introductions and give the animals several days or even weeks to get used to each other before you leave them alone together.\\n3-3. Socialize with your pet every day.\\nIn order to make sure your pet is comfortable around you, spend at least 30 minutes a day with it. This might mean playing, cuddling, grooming, or training, but the important thing is that you're consistently making time to let your pet know they're important to you.\\nDogs and cats are especially sensitive to getting plenty of affection every day.\\nPets like snakes and turtles might not need to be handled every day. However, spending time around their habitat each day will make them more comfortable with your presence.\\n3-4. Learn how your pet likes to be handled.\\nDifferent pets like to be touched or picked up in different ways. Pay attention to your pet's body language while you're handling it. If it seems relaxed, it probably enjoys what you're doing. If it tenses up, tries to leave the area, or acts aggressive, you may have done something it didn't like. Try to avoid doing that again in the future.\\nEvery pet's likes and dislikes will be different. For instance, some cats love getting belly rubs, but other cats will bite and scratch if you try to touch them on the stomach.\\n3-5. Make sure your pet gets enough exercise.\\nMany animals need to be taken out of their habitat and exercised. In some cases, this should be done daily, while in others it might only be a few times a week. Learn about your pet's exercise needs and make some extra time to give them a good workout when they need it.\\nFor example, you might take your dog for a walk, have your cat chase a feather on a string, or place your hamster in an exercise ball.\\n3-6. Be patient with your pet.\\nYour pet won't always know what to do, and sometimes it will act out. This is usually a way to try to get attention, or because they're bored or aren't getting enough exercise. Sometimes, it might even be the result of a trauma they experienced in the past. Be patient and try to solve the underlying problem so you'll get along better with your pet!\\nNever yell at, hit, or kick your pet. This will destroy the bond between you and your pet. Treating your pet this way may also lead your pet to become fearful or even aggressive.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Pets are a great way to add extra fun and affection into your everyday life, but they're a big commitment. While your pet's needs will depend largely on what type of animal you choose, there are some basics that apply to all pets. By taking care of your pet's nutrition and health, and by giving it the attention it needs, you can be a good pet owner!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Providing Proper Nutrition\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Provide your pet with a healthy, balanced diet.\", \"描述\": \"While your pet's diet will vary depending on what type of animal it is, it's important to feed it fresh food regularly. Choose food that's specific to your pet, and only give your pet treats occasionally. If you have any questions about what to feed your pet, consult your veterinarian.\\nSometimes diets can vary between different breeds or species of the same animal. For example, although they're both birds, a parrot and a macaw eat different diets in the wild, and their nutritional needs are also different in captivity.\\nYour pet's dietary needs may change as it ages. Talk to your vet about your pet's different life stages and what food is most appropriate for each one.\\nLook for pet food that contains healthy ingredients you recognize.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Feed your pet the recommended amount of food at each meal.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to follow the guidelines for how much your pet needs to eat each day. Overfeeding leads to obesity, which can cause other health problems. These could include heart disease, kidney problems, diabetes, and more.\\nIf you're not sure how much food you should be giving your pet, ask your veterinarian.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know what foods you should never give your pet.\", \"描述\": \"Certain foods are toxic to some animals, so be sure you know what you can and can't give your pet before you offer it a treat. For example, while it's perfectly fine to give your dog small bits of chicken or fish, you should never give them food containing chocolate or garlic, as these can be toxic.\\nEven some pet foods can be dangerous if fed to the wrong animal. For instance, you shouldn't feed cat food to a dog, or vice versa. Cat food contains high levels of taurine, which is necessary to a cat's diet but which can be dangerous to dogs in high doses. On the other hand, dog food doesn't contain the taurine your cat needs to be healthy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give your pet fresh water every day.\", \"描述\": \"All animals require water to live, although some will need much more than others. Regardless of the size of your pet, make sure that it always has access to fresh, clean water. Check or refill the water once or twice a day, and if they drink from a bowl, wash out the bowl every 2 to 3 days.\\nIf you have a pet that lives in an aquarium, change the water and clean the tank at least once a week.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Pet Healthy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Provide a safe, clean environment for your pet.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a small animal, ensure that it has a safe cage with a secure door. If your pet is larger, it should have somewhere that it can go if it feels tired or scared, like a kennel for a dog or a barn stall for a horse. Keep your animal's living area, bedding, and food area neat by cleaning it every day.\\nMake sure to pet-proof your home to make sure there isn't anything dangerous that could hurt your pet. Secure any chemicals or electrical cables, put fragile items somewhere secure so they can't get knocked over, and ensure your pet can't escape from your home.\\nDo not leave poop in your pet's living area. Clean it up as soon as you see it, even if you have an outside animal. Some parasites in feces, including toxoplasmosis and roundworm, become more infectious over time. If you have a cat, remember to clean out its litter box daily. An unclean litter box may cause your cat to go outside of the litter box.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have your pet microchipped or give it an ID tag in case it escapes.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you keep your pet indoors, there's always a chance it could accidentally get outside and get lost. If you have a microchip inserted at your vet, anyone who finds your pet can take it to be scanned, and the chip will let them know your contact information. Similarly, an ID tag should have your name and phone number so anyone who finds your pet can call you.\\nCollars with an ID tag can sometimes fall off, so a microchip is the most secure option.\\nRemember to update the information on the microchip if your contact information changes!\\nIf you do opt for a collar with an ID tag, consider using a breakaway collar. That way, if it gets snagged on anything, your pet won't be choked.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Groom your pet as needed.\", \"描述\": \"Your pet's grooming needs will depend on the type of animal it is. After all, a long-haired cat will need to be groomed very differently than a pig. However, it is important that you know what your animal's grooming needs are, and you attend to them as often as needed. This might mean combing or brushing your pet, bathing it, and clipping its nails, for instance.\\nSome animals NEVER need to be bathed. For example, a hamster will clean itself by rolling around in a bowl of sand.\\nIf your animal's teeth or beak grows continuously, make sure it has wooden chew toys to keep its teeth or beak filed down.\\nIn addition to being good for the animal, grooming provides bonding time between you and your pet. It will also give you a chance to spot any injuries or other unusual spots that develop.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Provide your pet with toys if it likes them.\", \"描述\": \"Play time is very important to a lot of animals. Not only does it provide valuable exercise, but it also helps them hone their instinctive skills, such as hunting or problem-solving. Offer your pet different toys to see what it likes, then rotate the toys regularly to keep your pet interested in them.\\nA hamster will enjoy having a wheel and a few wooden chew toys, for instance.\\nIf you have a horse, it might enjoy playing with a puzzle that dispenses treats.\\nBe sure the toys you provide are recommended for your type of animal. For example, if you give a small cat toy to a large dog, it could swallow it and choke.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Spay or neuter your pet if your vet recommends it.\", \"描述\": \"When you get your pet, talk to your vet about when you should get it spayed or neutered. While not all animals need this procedure, it's usually a good idea for common pets like cats and dogs. Often, your vet will prefer to perform this procedure while your pet is still young, although many adult animals can safely have the surgery as well.\\nNot only will spaying or neutering your pet prevent unwanted babies, but it will also keep your pet safe. When pets become preoccupied with mating, they will often roam away from home, where they could get lost, wander into the road, or encounter other animals. In addition, they could become engaged in competitive mating behaviors, which could lead to injury.\\nHaving your pet spayed or neutered may also improve its health in the long term.\\nNeutering male kittens will help prevent unwanted spaying in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tend to your pet's medical needs.\", \"描述\": \"When you first get your pet, ask your vet if there are any vaccinations you should get for it. Even if your pet seems healthy, take it back to the vet once or twice a year for a wellness check, as well as anytime it seems sick or injured, or its behavior changes for no apparent reason.\\nIf your pet is unusually lethargic, stops eating, or develops unusual swelling, for instance, you should take it to the vet.\\nYour vet can also advise you whether you should be giving your pet flea, tick, or heartworm medication.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spending Time with Your Pet\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend some time researching your pet before you bring it home.\", \"描述\": \"Understand what your pet's exact needs will be, from its diet to its shelter. Then, make sure you have everything your pet will need before you bring it home. That way, you can spend your time bonding with your pet, rather than worrying about what supplies you'll need.\\nThink about your individual situation when you're choosing a pet. If you're very active and spend a lot of time outside, an energetic dog breed might be a great option for you. On the other hand, if you work long hours, a solitary reptile might fit your lifestyle better.\\nWhen you're choosing your pet, remember that you're signing up for a commitment. You'll be responsible for your pet's food and water, grooming, training, and medical care for the rest of its life.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Supervise the introduction of a new pet to any animals you already have.\", \"描述\": \"If you already have a pet and you're choosing a new one, make sure you give the animals plenty of time to get used to each other before you leave them alone together. Animals can sometimes be territorial, and they may fight. It can sometimes help to introduce them in a neutral area, like a room the pets aren't normally allowed to go into, or a new cage or tank for smaller animals and fish.\\nFor example, to introduce 2 hamsters, you could place them in a clean tank with new bedding, so neither one will feel like it is \\\"their\\\" territory.\\nIf you already have a pet and you're choosing a new one, make sure you supervise any introductions and give the animals several days or even weeks to get used to each other before you leave them alone together.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Socialize with your pet every day.\", \"描述\": \"In order to make sure your pet is comfortable around you, spend at least 30 minutes a day with it. This might mean playing, cuddling, grooming, or training, but the important thing is that you're consistently making time to let your pet know they're important to you.\\nDogs and cats are especially sensitive to getting plenty of affection every day.\\nPets like snakes and turtles might not need to be handled every day. However, spending time around their habitat each day will make them more comfortable with your presence.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn how your pet likes to be handled.\", \"描述\": \"Different pets like to be touched or picked up in different ways. Pay attention to your pet's body language while you're handling it. If it seems relaxed, it probably enjoys what you're doing. If it tenses up, tries to leave the area, or acts aggressive, you may have done something it didn't like. Try to avoid doing that again in the future.\\nEvery pet's likes and dislikes will be different. For instance, some cats love getting belly rubs, but other cats will bite and scratch if you try to touch them on the stomach.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make sure your pet gets enough exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Many animals need to be taken out of their habitat and exercised. In some cases, this should be done daily, while in others it might only be a few times a week. Learn about your pet's exercise needs and make some extra time to give them a good workout when they need it.\\nFor example, you might take your dog for a walk, have your cat chase a feather on a string, or place your hamster in an exercise ball.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be patient with your pet.\", \"描述\": \"Your pet won't always know what to do, and sometimes it will act out. This is usually a way to try to get attention, or because they're bored or aren't getting enough exercise. Sometimes, it might even be the result of a trauma they experienced in the past. Be patient and try to solve the underlying problem so you'll get along better with your pet!\\nNever yell at, hit, or kick your pet. This will destroy the bond between you and your pet. Treating your pet this way may also lead your pet to become fearful or even aggressive.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,499 |
How to Be a Good Pet Owner (for Kids)
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1. Caring for the Pet
1-1. Give food and water to the pet.
You should start by providing the necessities for your pet, including food and fresh water. Your parents may already have a feeding schedule set up, with set times in the day for feeding your pet. You should follow this feeding schedule and ask your parents if you can help them with giving your pet food and water on a daily basis.
You can help your parents put your pet’s food in their bowl and make sure that your pet eats all of their food. You may also be allowed to give your pet a healthy treat, with the supervision of a parent.
Always ask your parents if it’s time to feed the pet before you do it yourself. Your pet may have a strict feeding schedule so they are not overfed or underfed.
If you have a pet dog, rabbit, bird or hamster, you should also keep an eye on your pet’s water dish as your pet may end up drinking a lot of water throughout the day. Try to always keep it full with fresh water. If you are younger than 10 years old, you may need help lifting and pouring water into your pet’s water dish.
1-2. Clean up after the pet.
You can also be a good pet owner by making sure you clean up after your pet. This means picking up any food that falls out of their food bowl and wiping up any water around their water dish so their feeding area is clean. You can also pick up any pet toys and put them in a bin or in one area so they are not scattered all over the house.
You may also be able to help your parents clean your pet’s cage or living area. If you have a pet hamster, bird, lizard, or rabbit, you may help your parents remove and replace the newspaper lining in your pet’s cage or help them pick up droppings in the cage. If you have a fish, you may help your parents change out the water in the fish tank so it is clean and fresh.
Make sure you always wear gloves or use a tissue to pick up any pet droppings. Wash your hands well after touching your pet’s droppings.
1-3. Groom the pet.
You can also pitch in and groom your pet on a regular basis. Depending on the type of pet you have, this may mean brushing your dog, rabbit, or cat once a day. You may be able to do this on your own or with the supervision of your parents.
If you have a dog, you can also make sure your pet gets a bath once a week and stays clean. You may help your parents bathe your pet or bathe your pet yourself. Make sure you use the right techniques to bath your pet.
Do not try to bath other pets like a rabbit, a bird, a hamster or a cat. These animals can self clean themselves and do not need regular baths.
If your pet is a dog, you should check your pet for fleas or ticks on a daily basis. If you notice your pet has fleas or ticks, you should tell your parents.
1-4. Take your dog for daily walks.
If you have a pet dog, you will need to walk them on a daily basis, especially if your dog is medium to large in size. You should create a walking schedule with your parents and assist your parents in walking your pet. You may put the collar or harness on the dog and take a turn holding the leash during the walk, with the supervision of a parent.
If your dog is a puppy, you should only walk him a five to ten minutes a day. Ask your parents about how often you can walk your new puppy and follow their directions.
If you have other pets, like a cat, a bird, a hamster, or a rabbit, you may not need to walk them. Instead, you should spend time playing with these pets so they still get some exercise.
1-5. Play with your pet.
You should spend at least ten to fifteen minutes a day playing with your pet so they feel loved and acknowledged by you. You should also use encouraging words and reward them with a treat if they behave well.
Make sure you use your fingers to gently pet and stroke your pet. Always be gentle when playing with your pet so you do not hurt them.
Use pet toys to play with your pet. You may use a light pen to stimulate your pet fish or a treat to teach your bird a fun new trick. You can also use balls to play with a pet cat or a pet dog.
Try not to play with your pet too often and give your pet some downtime during the day. Your pet needs time to nap and rest so they are not overly tired or stressed.
2. Helping Your Parents Train the Pet
2-1. Teach your dog basic obedience commands.
Your pet should be trained properly to ensure they live well with you and your parents. A well-trained pet will also be less of an issue when they meet other pets and strangers outside of your home. You should discuss your pet’s training with your parents and be sure it includes basic obedience commands, especially if your pet is a dog.
You should work with your parents to teach your pet dog to sit, stay, and come when called. You should also learn how to calm your dog down when someone is at the door or when your dog is around new people and new dogs.
2-2. Do not give your pet unhealthy treats or food.
You should also avoid giving your pet any food or treats that are not allowed by your parents. Giving your pet unhealthy food could conflict with their training and lead to health issues.
You should also avoid giving your pet food from your plate the table, even when your parents aren’t looking. This can conflict with your pet's training schedule and their feeding schedule.
Do not put unhealthy food in your pet's cage. Some pets are not allowed to have human food because it can make them sick so always check with your parents before giving your pet a treat.
2-3. Follow your parent’s house rules for the pet.
Your parents will likely have their own set of house rules for the pet, such as not allowing the pet on furniture or in certain areas of the house. You should make sure your pet follows these rules, even when your parents are not home. This way, your pet is not confused about the rules and is not encouraged to behave badly.
If you are unclear about the house rules for your pet, you can ask your parents to write them down for you and post them in an accessible area, such as on the fridge or by the front door. You can then refer to the rules if you are not sure if your pet is allowed to do certain things in your house.
3. Dealing With Pet Issues Responsibly
3-1. Tell your parents if your pet is behaving badly.
You should always let your parents deal with your pet when he behaves badly as you do not want to be aggressive with your pet on your own. Your pet may get annoyed and you are at a greater risk of injury than your parents if this happens.
Instead, you should let your parents know when your pet is acting out or behaving badly and allow them to address it properly. As you get older, your parents may teach you how to address your pet's bad behavior in a positive and helpful way.
3-2. Let your parents know if your pet seems ill or sick.
You may notice that your pet seems ill and is displaying signs of a sickness or a health issue. Let your parents know right away if you notice anything, as they can then take your pet to the vet and get your pet examined.
It is important that you keep an eye on your pet and pay attention to your pet often, as this will ensure you notice any health issues before they become a larger problem. You may also discuss the symptoms of common illnesses with your parents so you know which signs to watch out for in your pet.
3-3. Add to your pet responsibilities as you get older.
As you grow up, your pet ownership duties may change. Your parents may feel you are mature enough to help them do other pet chores and tasks. You should try to take good care of your pet now so your parents feel they can trust you with more pet responsibilities in the future.
Children over the age of 10 can usually assume many of the basic responsibilities of caring for a pet. Your parents may supervise you from afar but will likely allow you to complete many of the daily tasks required for good care of your pet.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Caring for the Pet\\n1-1. Give food and water to the pet.\\nYou should start by providing the necessities for your pet, including food and fresh water. Your parents may already have a feeding schedule set up, with set times in the day for feeding your pet. You should follow this feeding schedule and ask your parents if you can help them with giving your pet food and water on a daily basis.\\nYou can help your parents put your pet’s food in their bowl and make sure that your pet eats all of their food. You may also be allowed to give your pet a healthy treat, with the supervision of a parent.\\nAlways ask your parents if it’s time to feed the pet before you do it yourself. Your pet may have a strict feeding schedule so they are not overfed or underfed.\\nIf you have a pet dog, rabbit, bird or hamster, you should also keep an eye on your pet’s water dish as your pet may end up drinking a lot of water throughout the day. Try to always keep it full with fresh water. If you are younger than 10 years old, you may need help lifting and pouring water into your pet’s water dish.\\n1-2. Clean up after the pet.\\nYou can also be a good pet owner by making sure you clean up after your pet. This means picking up any food that falls out of their food bowl and wiping up any water around their water dish so their feeding area is clean. You can also pick up any pet toys and put them in a bin or in one area so they are not scattered all over the house.\\nYou may also be able to help your parents clean your pet’s cage or living area. If you have a pet hamster, bird, lizard, or rabbit, you may help your parents remove and replace the newspaper lining in your pet’s cage or help them pick up droppings in the cage. If you have a fish, you may help your parents change out the water in the fish tank so it is clean and fresh.\\nMake sure you always wear gloves or use a tissue to pick up any pet droppings. Wash your hands well after touching your pet’s droppings.\\n1-3. Groom the pet.\\nYou can also pitch in and groom your pet on a regular basis. Depending on the type of pet you have, this may mean brushing your dog, rabbit, or cat once a day. You may be able to do this on your own or with the supervision of your parents.\\nIf you have a dog, you can also make sure your pet gets a bath once a week and stays clean. You may help your parents bathe your pet or bathe your pet yourself. Make sure you use the right techniques to bath your pet.\\nDo not try to bath other pets like a rabbit, a bird, a hamster or a cat. These animals can self clean themselves and do not need regular baths.\\nIf your pet is a dog, you should check your pet for fleas or ticks on a daily basis. If you notice your pet has fleas or ticks, you should tell your parents.\\n1-4. Take your dog for daily walks.\\nIf you have a pet dog, you will need to walk them on a daily basis, especially if your dog is medium to large in size. You should create a walking schedule with your parents and assist your parents in walking your pet. You may put the collar or harness on the dog and take a turn holding the leash during the walk, with the supervision of a parent.\\nIf your dog is a puppy, you should only walk him a five to ten minutes a day. Ask your parents about how often you can walk your new puppy and follow their directions.\\nIf you have other pets, like a cat, a bird, a hamster, or a rabbit, you may not need to walk them. Instead, you should spend time playing with these pets so they still get some exercise.\\n1-5. Play with your pet.\\nYou should spend at least ten to fifteen minutes a day playing with your pet so they feel loved and acknowledged by you. You should also use encouraging words and reward them with a treat if they behave well.\\nMake sure you use your fingers to gently pet and stroke your pet. Always be gentle when playing with your pet so you do not hurt them.\\nUse pet toys to play with your pet. You may use a light pen to stimulate your pet fish or a treat to teach your bird a fun new trick. You can also use balls to play with a pet cat or a pet dog.\\nTry not to play with your pet too often and give your pet some downtime during the day. Your pet needs time to nap and rest so they are not overly tired or stressed.\\n2. Helping Your Parents Train the Pet\\n2-1. Teach your dog basic obedience commands.\\nYour pet should be trained properly to ensure they live well with you and your parents. A well-trained pet will also be less of an issue when they meet other pets and strangers outside of your home. You should discuss your pet’s training with your parents and be sure it includes basic obedience commands, especially if your pet is a dog.\\nYou should work with your parents to teach your pet dog to sit, stay, and come when called. You should also learn how to calm your dog down when someone is at the door or when your dog is around new people and new dogs.\\n2-2. Do not give your pet unhealthy treats or food.\\nYou should also avoid giving your pet any food or treats that are not allowed by your parents. Giving your pet unhealthy food could conflict with their training and lead to health issues.\\nYou should also avoid giving your pet food from your plate the table, even when your parents aren’t looking. This can conflict with your pet's training schedule and their feeding schedule.\\nDo not put unhealthy food in your pet's cage. Some pets are not allowed to have human food because it can make them sick so always check with your parents before giving your pet a treat.\\n2-3. Follow your parent’s house rules for the pet.\\nYour parents will likely have their own set of house rules for the pet, such as not allowing the pet on furniture or in certain areas of the house. You should make sure your pet follows these rules, even when your parents are not home. This way, your pet is not confused about the rules and is not encouraged to behave badly.\\nIf you are unclear about the house rules for your pet, you can ask your parents to write them down for you and post them in an accessible area, such as on the fridge or by the front door. You can then refer to the rules if you are not sure if your pet is allowed to do certain things in your house.\\n3. Dealing With Pet Issues Responsibly\\n3-1. Tell your parents if your pet is behaving badly.\\nYou should always let your parents deal with your pet when he behaves badly as you do not want to be aggressive with your pet on your own. Your pet may get annoyed and you are at a greater risk of injury than your parents if this happens.\\nInstead, you should let your parents know when your pet is acting out or behaving badly and allow them to address it properly. As you get older, your parents may teach you how to address your pet's bad behavior in a positive and helpful way.\\n3-2. Let your parents know if your pet seems ill or sick.\\nYou may notice that your pet seems ill and is displaying signs of a sickness or a health issue. Let your parents know right away if you notice anything, as they can then take your pet to the vet and get your pet examined.\\nIt is important that you keep an eye on your pet and pay attention to your pet often, as this will ensure you notice any health issues before they become a larger problem. You may also discuss the symptoms of common illnesses with your parents so you know which signs to watch out for in your pet.\\n3-3. Add to your pet responsibilities as you get older.\\nAs you grow up, your pet ownership duties may change. Your parents may feel you are mature enough to help them do other pet chores and tasks. You should try to take good care of your pet now so your parents feel they can trust you with more pet responsibilities in the future. \\nChildren over the age of 10 can usually assume many of the basic responsibilities of caring for a pet. Your parents may supervise you from afar but will likely allow you to complete many of the daily tasks required for good care of your pet.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Having a pet at home as a kid can be beneficial in many ways. It can teach you the value of responsibility, companionship, and caring for something other than yourself. Owning a pet is not just a temporary thing--it is a permanent responsibility that you must care for on a daily basis. You should care for your pet properly so you do not neglect them and help your parents train the pet so it is well behaved. You should also make sure you deal with any issues your pet is having responsibly so you do not harm your pet in any way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Caring for the Pet\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give food and water to the pet.\", \"描述\": \"You should start by providing the necessities for your pet, including food and fresh water. Your parents may already have a feeding schedule set up, with set times in the day for feeding your pet. You should follow this feeding schedule and ask your parents if you can help them with giving your pet food and water on a daily basis.\\nYou can help your parents put your pet’s food in their bowl and make sure that your pet eats all of their food. You may also be allowed to give your pet a healthy treat, with the supervision of a parent.\\nAlways ask your parents if it’s time to feed the pet before you do it yourself. Your pet may have a strict feeding schedule so they are not overfed or underfed.\\nIf you have a pet dog, rabbit, bird or hamster, you should also keep an eye on your pet’s water dish as your pet may end up drinking a lot of water throughout the day. Try to always keep it full with fresh water. If you are younger than 10 years old, you may need help lifting and pouring water into your pet’s water dish.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Clean up after the pet.\", \"描述\": \"You can also be a good pet owner by making sure you clean up after your pet. This means picking up any food that falls out of their food bowl and wiping up any water around their water dish so their feeding area is clean. You can also pick up any pet toys and put them in a bin or in one area so they are not scattered all over the house.\\nYou may also be able to help your parents clean your pet’s cage or living area. If you have a pet hamster, bird, lizard, or rabbit, you may help your parents remove and replace the newspaper lining in your pet’s cage or help them pick up droppings in the cage. If you have a fish, you may help your parents change out the water in the fish tank so it is clean and fresh.\\nMake sure you always wear gloves or use a tissue to pick up any pet droppings. Wash your hands well after touching your pet’s droppings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Groom the pet.\", \"描述\": \"You can also pitch in and groom your pet on a regular basis. Depending on the type of pet you have, this may mean brushing your dog, rabbit, or cat once a day. You may be able to do this on your own or with the supervision of your parents.\\nIf you have a dog, you can also make sure your pet gets a bath once a week and stays clean. You may help your parents bathe your pet or bathe your pet yourself. Make sure you use the right techniques to bath your pet.\\nDo not try to bath other pets like a rabbit, a bird, a hamster or a cat. These animals can self clean themselves and do not need regular baths.\\nIf your pet is a dog, you should check your pet for fleas or ticks on a daily basis. If you notice your pet has fleas or ticks, you should tell your parents.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take your dog for daily walks.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a pet dog, you will need to walk them on a daily basis, especially if your dog is medium to large in size. You should create a walking schedule with your parents and assist your parents in walking your pet. You may put the collar or harness on the dog and take a turn holding the leash during the walk, with the supervision of a parent.\\nIf your dog is a puppy, you should only walk him a five to ten minutes a day. Ask your parents about how often you can walk your new puppy and follow their directions.\\nIf you have other pets, like a cat, a bird, a hamster, or a rabbit, you may not need to walk them. Instead, you should spend time playing with these pets so they still get some exercise.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Play with your pet.\", \"描述\": \"You should spend at least ten to fifteen minutes a day playing with your pet so they feel loved and acknowledged by you. You should also use encouraging words and reward them with a treat if they behave well.\\nMake sure you use your fingers to gently pet and stroke your pet. Always be gentle when playing with your pet so you do not hurt them.\\nUse pet toys to play with your pet. You may use a light pen to stimulate your pet fish or a treat to teach your bird a fun new trick. You can also use balls to play with a pet cat or a pet dog.\\nTry not to play with your pet too often and give your pet some downtime during the day. Your pet needs time to nap and rest so they are not overly tired or stressed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Helping Your Parents Train the Pet\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Teach your dog basic obedience commands.\", \"描述\": \"Your pet should be trained properly to ensure they live well with you and your parents. A well-trained pet will also be less of an issue when they meet other pets and strangers outside of your home. You should discuss your pet’s training with your parents and be sure it includes basic obedience commands, especially if your pet is a dog.\\nYou should work with your parents to teach your pet dog to sit, stay, and come when called. You should also learn how to calm your dog down when someone is at the door or when your dog is around new people and new dogs.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do not give your pet unhealthy treats or food.\", \"描述\": \"You should also avoid giving your pet any food or treats that are not allowed by your parents. Giving your pet unhealthy food could conflict with their training and lead to health issues.\\nYou should also avoid giving your pet food from your plate the table, even when your parents aren’t looking. This can conflict with your pet's training schedule and their feeding schedule.\\nDo not put unhealthy food in your pet's cage. Some pets are not allowed to have human food because it can make them sick so always check with your parents before giving your pet a treat.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Follow your parent’s house rules for the pet.\", \"描述\": \"Your parents will likely have their own set of house rules for the pet, such as not allowing the pet on furniture or in certain areas of the house. You should make sure your pet follows these rules, even when your parents are not home. This way, your pet is not confused about the rules and is not encouraged to behave badly.\\nIf you are unclear about the house rules for your pet, you can ask your parents to write them down for you and post them in an accessible area, such as on the fridge or by the front door. You can then refer to the rules if you are not sure if your pet is allowed to do certain things in your house.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing With Pet Issues Responsibly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell your parents if your pet is behaving badly.\", \"描述\": \"You should always let your parents deal with your pet when he behaves badly as you do not want to be aggressive with your pet on your own. Your pet may get annoyed and you are at a greater risk of injury than your parents if this happens.\\nInstead, you should let your parents know when your pet is acting out or behaving badly and allow them to address it properly. As you get older, your parents may teach you how to address your pet's bad behavior in a positive and helpful way.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let your parents know if your pet seems ill or sick.\", \"描述\": \"You may notice that your pet seems ill and is displaying signs of a sickness or a health issue. Let your parents know right away if you notice anything, as they can then take your pet to the vet and get your pet examined.\\nIt is important that you keep an eye on your pet and pay attention to your pet often, as this will ensure you notice any health issues before they become a larger problem. You may also discuss the symptoms of common illnesses with your parents so you know which signs to watch out for in your pet.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Add to your pet responsibilities as you get older.\", \"描述\": \"As you grow up, your pet ownership duties may change. Your parents may feel you are mature enough to help them do other pet chores and tasks. You should try to take good care of your pet now so your parents feel they can trust you with more pet responsibilities in the future. \\nChildren over the age of 10 can usually assume many of the basic responsibilities of caring for a pet. Your parents may supervise you from afar but will likely allow you to complete many of the daily tasks required for good care of your pet.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,500 |
How to Be a Good Pet Sitter
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1. Meeting with the Pet Owner
1-1. Discuss expectations and needs.
The pet's owner will have a variety of expectations of you, the pet sitter, based around their pet's specific needs. Make sure all expectations are clearly stated and understood.
Knowing the basics is important. Know where the pet's food is kept, how much they need each day, when and where to feed them, and any medications they're taking.
Time commitment is another expectation that should be understood right away. For some jobs, you'll be required to stay in the owner's home. For others, you might only need to check in daily or every other day.
Ask questions. It's your job as a good pet sitter to make sure all bases are covered, so have a running list of questions to ask pet owners. How old is the pet? What is their medical history? Do they do well with children? Other animals? How often should the dog be taken out? How often should a cat's litter box be changed? These are questions that should be addressed before the pet sitting job begins.
Ask the owner about house rules and check with the owner so you know how often to give the pet treats. The owner may only allow the pet on certain furniture, require them to sit before being given a chew, or ask you to give their pup a treat for pottying in a specific location.
Ask the owner about the pet’s likes and dislikes. These details will prepare you for any possible triggers for the pet and prevent any issues from happening to the pet while she is in your care.
1-2. Provide references for past pet sitter jobs.
Provide phone numbers and contact information for owners you have pet sit for in the past. This will show the owner you have experience as a pet sitter and are confident in your ability to take care of someone else’s pet.
Always ask permission before sharing someone's contact information. Make sure past clients agree to sever as your reference and get their preferred phone number and email.
If possible, choose people you have worked with for a long time. For most jobs, a reference should ideally be someone you've known for a year to a year and a half.
If you're new to the field and have never pet sat before, you can use past employers or friends whose animals you watched while they were on vacation.
1-3. Get all necessary contact information.
Certain information is important in the event of an emergency or medical issue.
Most owners will readily provide contact information for their veterinarian. Make sure you know where this information is written down. It might be a safe bet to enter contact information into your phone or have an electronic copy in your email in the event paper copies gets lost.
In addition to the owner's contact information, ask for the phone number of a friend or family member close by. This way, in the event you can't contact the owner, you have a second person to contact in case of emergency.
1-4. Determine pay.
If you're pet sitting for a friend or family member, pay may not be an issue. However, if this is a more professional endeavor you can expect to be paid and should determine the amount before the job begins.
Research fees to see what is reasonable. Care.com is a great resource to research rates and fees associated with pet sitting in your area.
The national average wage for pet sitters is $16/hour. So if you are working eight hours a day, at $16/hour, you can make $128/day. The owner may pay you a weekly wage. The average is around $600/week. You may also receive extra money for extra services, like house cleaning and maintenance, or payment in the form of free food and lodgings.
Rates also go up depending on the number of pets you're caring for and your level of experience. The owner might want to negotiate fees. Make sure you are courteous during this process. You don't want to lose a client by being argumentative.
1-5. Meet the pet beforehand.
If possible, schedule a practice visit. This way, the pet is familiar with you beforehand and you'll know where to find food, water, treats, and toys.
Even if you already know the pet, a practice visit isn't a bad idea. There may be information about the pet that's never come up in casual conversation that you need to know as a pet sitter.
The owner will also want to make sure the pet is comfortable with you. If there are any issues with aggression or timidness in your presence, they may want to select an alternative pet sitter. Do not take this personally. Sometimes a pet and person simply clash. Rescue pets often have negative associations that the owners do not fully understand, and you may inadvertently trigger a bad reaction.
2. Caring for the Pet
2-1. Follow the schedule the owner provided.
The owner likely left you both written and verbal instructions for pet care and upkeep.
Feed the pet at the right time and give them the right amount of food. Cat owners sometimes let their cats have open access to dry food throughout the day. If this is the case, make sure to fill food bowls when they're running low and make sure clean water is provided.
Give the pet any medications she needs. Pets who are on medications usually need to stick to a regular schedule and dosage. Follow the owner’s instructions on how to give the pet her medication and don’t forget or neglect the pet’s medication.
Clean litter boxes regularly and let dog's out as many times a day as the owner recommends.
2-2. Do some work in addition to pet sitting.
If you want to stand out from other pet sitters, doing some extra tasks for the owner can be a great way to show your added dedication.
Do some basic upkeep for the pet owner’s home, if you are pet sitting at their home. Water the plants. Collect the mail. Keep the home clean.
While doing dishes might seem like a great way to earn favor, be careful. People often have specific organizational structures for their kitchens and might feel peeved if you mess with their system. If you do dishes, wash them, leave them out to dry, but refrain from putting them away.
2-3. Give the pet extra attention.
A big part of your role as a pet sitter is to keep the pet safe and comfortable while her owner is away. The pet is likely nervous without their owner present so show them affection and attention on a daily basis.
If the pet has a favorite toy, play with them often. It's best to play with the pet until the appear to run out of energy and lose interest in the game. This way, they'll be tired when you leave and more likely to sleep and relax until you return.
After you fulfill duties like cleaning and feeding, sit with the pet and show them affection via stroking, cuddling, and talking. Pets, cats and dogs especially, are very social and crave human interaction when their owners are missing.
Be careful about bringing in outside food and treats. The owner might have the pet on a specific diet and you don't want to disrupt that while away. Never give a pet table scraps without the owner's consent.
3. Preparing for a Pet Sitting Job
3-1. Make sure the position is right for you.
Being a pet sitter is a rewarding but challenging experience. Before taking on a job, make sure you have the qualifications necessary to excel.
A love of animals is perhaps the most important qualification a pet sitter can have. As you'll be spending the bulk of your time with your client's animals, make sure you genuinely enjoy animal company.
Low stress is another desirable quality in a pet sitter. Your schedule will likely be subject to change as it depends heavily on the schedules of your clients. You need to be the type that's flexible and calm regarding sudden changes.
Self motivation and organization are also desirable qualities for pet sitters. You'll need to manage your schedule around multiple clients and track the needs of a variety of cats, dogs, and other pets.
3-2. Get liability insurance.
Professional pet sitters usually have commercial liability insurance to cover any accidents or incidents while they pet sit. If you're looking into longterm pet sitting, liability insurance might be a good investment.
Pet sitting insurance will cover you in the event of any damage caused to the client’s home, such as accidentally knocking over an expensive vase or breaking a window. It will also cover you if you lose grip of the dog’s lead and he attacks another dog or person.
In the United States, membership fees vary from company to company. Websites like petsitters.org and petsittersinsurance.com will help you compare rates and find the coverage that's right for you.
If you're working through a pet sitting company, it's doubtful you'll need to take out insurance on your own. Most companies have policies in place that protect their employees. Check with the company you work for and ask questions about insurance and your personal coverage.
3-3. Consider pet sitting training.
While a certification is not a requirement to be a pet sitter, having some professional training on your resume can impress present and future clients. It can also open up additional opportunities for you down the road.
A certification of training lets clients know you're serious about your job and dedicated to providing the best care possible. If you ever want to work with a pet sitting agency, having some form of professional training is a great resume booster.
A variety of organizations provide training programs for pet sitters. The National Assembly of Professional Pet Sitters and Pet Sitters International provide general training for pet sitting.
The International Boarding and Pet Services Association provides training if you're looking into boarding dogs at your own kennel facility for extended periods. This can get pricey, however, as you're required to pass master exam to get certified. The exam can cost upwards of $125.
Tips
Have a positive attitude towards your job and have some fun! There's no good in being a grouch to your customers and their pet.
Avoid leaving the area messy when you leave. Some owners will expect a clean home when they get back. And it's always a pleasant surprise if they didn't anyway.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Meeting with the Pet Owner\\n1-1. Discuss expectations and needs.\\nThe pet's owner will have a variety of expectations of you, the pet sitter, based around their pet's specific needs. Make sure all expectations are clearly stated and understood.\\nKnowing the basics is important. Know where the pet's food is kept, how much they need each day, when and where to feed them, and any medications they're taking.\\nTime commitment is another expectation that should be understood right away. For some jobs, you'll be required to stay in the owner's home. For others, you might only need to check in daily or every other day.\\nAsk questions. It's your job as a good pet sitter to make sure all bases are covered, so have a running list of questions to ask pet owners. How old is the pet? What is their medical history? Do they do well with children? Other animals? How often should the dog be taken out? How often should a cat's litter box be changed? These are questions that should be addressed before the pet sitting job begins.\\nAsk the owner about house rules and check with the owner so you know how often to give the pet treats. The owner may only allow the pet on certain furniture, require them to sit before being given a chew, or ask you to give their pup a treat for pottying in a specific location.\\nAsk the owner about the pet’s likes and dislikes. These details will prepare you for any possible triggers for the pet and prevent any issues from happening to the pet while she is in your care.\\n1-2. Provide references for past pet sitter jobs.\\nProvide phone numbers and contact information for owners you have pet sit for in the past. This will show the owner you have experience as a pet sitter and are confident in your ability to take care of someone else’s pet.\\nAlways ask permission before sharing someone's contact information. Make sure past clients agree to sever as your reference and get their preferred phone number and email.\\nIf possible, choose people you have worked with for a long time. For most jobs, a reference should ideally be someone you've known for a year to a year and a half.\\nIf you're new to the field and have never pet sat before, you can use past employers or friends whose animals you watched while they were on vacation.\\n1-3. Get all necessary contact information.\\nCertain information is important in the event of an emergency or medical issue.\\nMost owners will readily provide contact information for their veterinarian. Make sure you know where this information is written down. It might be a safe bet to enter contact information into your phone or have an electronic copy in your email in the event paper copies gets lost.\\nIn addition to the owner's contact information, ask for the phone number of a friend or family member close by. This way, in the event you can't contact the owner, you have a second person to contact in case of emergency.\\n1-4. Determine pay.\\nIf you're pet sitting for a friend or family member, pay may not be an issue. However, if this is a more professional endeavor you can expect to be paid and should determine the amount before the job begins.\\nResearch fees to see what is reasonable. Care.com is a great resource to research rates and fees associated with pet sitting in your area.\\nThe national average wage for pet sitters is $16/hour. So if you are working eight hours a day, at $16/hour, you can make $128/day. The owner may pay you a weekly wage. The average is around $600/week. You may also receive extra money for extra services, like house cleaning and maintenance, or payment in the form of free food and lodgings.\\nRates also go up depending on the number of pets you're caring for and your level of experience. The owner might want to negotiate fees. Make sure you are courteous during this process. You don't want to lose a client by being argumentative.\\n1-5. Meet the pet beforehand.\\nIf possible, schedule a practice visit. This way, the pet is familiar with you beforehand and you'll know where to find food, water, treats, and toys.\\nEven if you already know the pet, a practice visit isn't a bad idea. There may be information about the pet that's never come up in casual conversation that you need to know as a pet sitter.\\nThe owner will also want to make sure the pet is comfortable with you. If there are any issues with aggression or timidness in your presence, they may want to select an alternative pet sitter. Do not take this personally. Sometimes a pet and person simply clash. Rescue pets often have negative associations that the owners do not fully understand, and you may inadvertently trigger a bad reaction.\\n2. Caring for the Pet\\n2-1. Follow the schedule the owner provided.\\nThe owner likely left you both written and verbal instructions for pet care and upkeep.\\nFeed the pet at the right time and give them the right amount of food. Cat owners sometimes let their cats have open access to dry food throughout the day. If this is the case, make sure to fill food bowls when they're running low and make sure clean water is provided.\\nGive the pet any medications she needs. Pets who are on medications usually need to stick to a regular schedule and dosage. Follow the owner’s instructions on how to give the pet her medication and don’t forget or neglect the pet’s medication.\\nClean litter boxes regularly and let dog's out as many times a day as the owner recommends.\\n2-2. Do some work in addition to pet sitting.\\nIf you want to stand out from other pet sitters, doing some extra tasks for the owner can be a great way to show your added dedication.\\nDo some basic upkeep for the pet owner’s home, if you are pet sitting at their home. Water the plants. Collect the mail. Keep the home clean.\\nWhile doing dishes might seem like a great way to earn favor, be careful. People often have specific organizational structures for their kitchens and might feel peeved if you mess with their system. If you do dishes, wash them, leave them out to dry, but refrain from putting them away.\\n2-3. Give the pet extra attention.\\nA big part of your role as a pet sitter is to keep the pet safe and comfortable while her owner is away. The pet is likely nervous without their owner present so show them affection and attention on a daily basis.\\nIf the pet has a favorite toy, play with them often. It's best to play with the pet until the appear to run out of energy and lose interest in the game. This way, they'll be tired when you leave and more likely to sleep and relax until you return.\\nAfter you fulfill duties like cleaning and feeding, sit with the pet and show them affection via stroking, cuddling, and talking. Pets, cats and dogs especially, are very social and crave human interaction when their owners are missing.\\nBe careful about bringing in outside food and treats. The owner might have the pet on a specific diet and you don't want to disrupt that while away. Never give a pet table scraps without the owner's consent.\\n3. Preparing for a Pet Sitting Job\\n3-1. Make sure the position is right for you.\\nBeing a pet sitter is a rewarding but challenging experience. Before taking on a job, make sure you have the qualifications necessary to excel.\\nA love of animals is perhaps the most important qualification a pet sitter can have. As you'll be spending the bulk of your time with your client's animals, make sure you genuinely enjoy animal company.\\nLow stress is another desirable quality in a pet sitter. Your schedule will likely be subject to change as it depends heavily on the schedules of your clients. You need to be the type that's flexible and calm regarding sudden changes.\\nSelf motivation and organization are also desirable qualities for pet sitters. You'll need to manage your schedule around multiple clients and track the needs of a variety of cats, dogs, and other pets.\\n3-2. Get liability insurance.\\nProfessional pet sitters usually have commercial liability insurance to cover any accidents or incidents while they pet sit. If you're looking into longterm pet sitting, liability insurance might be a good investment.\\nPet sitting insurance will cover you in the event of any damage caused to the client’s home, such as accidentally knocking over an expensive vase or breaking a window. It will also cover you if you lose grip of the dog’s lead and he attacks another dog or person.\\nIn the United States, membership fees vary from company to company. Websites like petsitters.org and petsittersinsurance.com will help you compare rates and find the coverage that's right for you.\\nIf you're working through a pet sitting company, it's doubtful you'll need to take out insurance on your own. Most companies have policies in place that protect their employees. Check with the company you work for and ask questions about insurance and your personal coverage.\\n3-3. Consider pet sitting training.\\nWhile a certification is not a requirement to be a pet sitter, having some professional training on your resume can impress present and future clients. It can also open up additional opportunities for you down the road.\\nA certification of training lets clients know you're serious about your job and dedicated to providing the best care possible. If you ever want to work with a pet sitting agency, having some form of professional training is a great resume booster.\\nA variety of organizations provide training programs for pet sitters. The National Assembly of Professional Pet Sitters and Pet Sitters International provide general training for pet sitting.\\nThe International Boarding and Pet Services Association provides training if you're looking into boarding dogs at your own kennel facility for extended periods. This can get pricey, however, as you're required to pass master exam to get certified. The exam can cost upwards of $125.\\nTips\\nHave a positive attitude towards your job and have some fun! There's no good in being a grouch to your customers and their pet.\\nAvoid leaving the area messy when you leave. Some owners will expect a clean home when they get back. And it's always a pleasant surprise if they didn't anyway.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Pet sitting can be a rewarding and fun way to make money while spending time with furry friends! You will be responsible for caring for the pet’s daily needs and act as a companion while the owner is away, whether it’s for a few days or a longer period of time. The pet’s owner should feel they are leaving their pet in good hands with you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meeting with the Pet Owner\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discuss expectations and needs.\", \"描述\": \"The pet's owner will have a variety of expectations of you, the pet sitter, based around their pet's specific needs. Make sure all expectations are clearly stated and understood.\\nKnowing the basics is important. Know where the pet's food is kept, how much they need each day, when and where to feed them, and any medications they're taking.\\nTime commitment is another expectation that should be understood right away. For some jobs, you'll be required to stay in the owner's home. For others, you might only need to check in daily or every other day.\\nAsk questions. It's your job as a good pet sitter to make sure all bases are covered, so have a running list of questions to ask pet owners. How old is the pet? What is their medical history? Do they do well with children? Other animals? How often should the dog be taken out? How often should a cat's litter box be changed? These are questions that should be addressed before the pet sitting job begins.\\nAsk the owner about house rules and check with the owner so you know how often to give the pet treats. The owner may only allow the pet on certain furniture, require them to sit before being given a chew, or ask you to give their pup a treat for pottying in a specific location.\\nAsk the owner about the pet’s likes and dislikes. These details will prepare you for any possible triggers for the pet and prevent any issues from happening to the pet while she is in your care.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Provide references for past pet sitter jobs.\", \"描述\": \"Provide phone numbers and contact information for owners you have pet sit for in the past. This will show the owner you have experience as a pet sitter and are confident in your ability to take care of someone else’s pet.\\nAlways ask permission before sharing someone's contact information. Make sure past clients agree to sever as your reference and get their preferred phone number and email.\\nIf possible, choose people you have worked with for a long time. For most jobs, a reference should ideally be someone you've known for a year to a year and a half.\\nIf you're new to the field and have never pet sat before, you can use past employers or friends whose animals you watched while they were on vacation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get all necessary contact information.\", \"描述\": \"Certain information is important in the event of an emergency or medical issue.\\nMost owners will readily provide contact information for their veterinarian. Make sure you know where this information is written down. It might be a safe bet to enter contact information into your phone or have an electronic copy in your email in the event paper copies gets lost.\\nIn addition to the owner's contact information, ask for the phone number of a friend or family member close by. This way, in the event you can't contact the owner, you have a second person to contact in case of emergency.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Determine pay.\", \"描述\": \"If you're pet sitting for a friend or family member, pay may not be an issue. However, if this is a more professional endeavor you can expect to be paid and should determine the amount before the job begins.\\nResearch fees to see what is reasonable. Care.com is a great resource to research rates and fees associated with pet sitting in your area.\\nThe national average wage for pet sitters is $16/hour. So if you are working eight hours a day, at $16/hour, you can make $128/day. The owner may pay you a weekly wage. The average is around $600/week. You may also receive extra money for extra services, like house cleaning and maintenance, or payment in the form of free food and lodgings.\\nRates also go up depending on the number of pets you're caring for and your level of experience. The owner might want to negotiate fees. Make sure you are courteous during this process. You don't want to lose a client by being argumentative.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Meet the pet beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"If possible, schedule a practice visit. This way, the pet is familiar with you beforehand and you'll know where to find food, water, treats, and toys.\\nEven if you already know the pet, a practice visit isn't a bad idea. There may be information about the pet that's never come up in casual conversation that you need to know as a pet sitter.\\nThe owner will also want to make sure the pet is comfortable with you. If there are any issues with aggression or timidness in your presence, they may want to select an alternative pet sitter. Do not take this personally. Sometimes a pet and person simply clash. Rescue pets often have negative associations that the owners do not fully understand, and you may inadvertently trigger a bad reaction.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Caring for the Pet\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow the schedule the owner provided.\", \"描述\": \"The owner likely left you both written and verbal instructions for pet care and upkeep.\\nFeed the pet at the right time and give them the right amount of food. Cat owners sometimes let their cats have open access to dry food throughout the day. If this is the case, make sure to fill food bowls when they're running low and make sure clean water is provided.\\nGive the pet any medications she needs. Pets who are on medications usually need to stick to a regular schedule and dosage. Follow the owner’s instructions on how to give the pet her medication and don’t forget or neglect the pet’s medication.\\nClean litter boxes regularly and let dog's out as many times a day as the owner recommends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do some work in addition to pet sitting.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to stand out from other pet sitters, doing some extra tasks for the owner can be a great way to show your added dedication.\\nDo some basic upkeep for the pet owner’s home, if you are pet sitting at their home. Water the plants. Collect the mail. Keep the home clean.\\nWhile doing dishes might seem like a great way to earn favor, be careful. People often have specific organizational structures for their kitchens and might feel peeved if you mess with their system. If you do dishes, wash them, leave them out to dry, but refrain from putting them away.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give the pet extra attention.\", \"描述\": \"A big part of your role as a pet sitter is to keep the pet safe and comfortable while her owner is away. The pet is likely nervous without their owner present so show them affection and attention on a daily basis.\\nIf the pet has a favorite toy, play with them often. It's best to play with the pet until the appear to run out of energy and lose interest in the game. This way, they'll be tired when you leave and more likely to sleep and relax until you return.\\nAfter you fulfill duties like cleaning and feeding, sit with the pet and show them affection via stroking, cuddling, and talking. Pets, cats and dogs especially, are very social and crave human interaction when their owners are missing.\\nBe careful about bringing in outside food and treats. The owner might have the pet on a specific diet and you don't want to disrupt that while away. Never give a pet table scraps without the owner's consent.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Preparing for a Pet Sitting Job\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure the position is right for you.\", \"描述\": \"Being a pet sitter is a rewarding but challenging experience. Before taking on a job, make sure you have the qualifications necessary to excel.\\nA love of animals is perhaps the most important qualification a pet sitter can have. As you'll be spending the bulk of your time with your client's animals, make sure you genuinely enjoy animal company.\\nLow stress is another desirable quality in a pet sitter. Your schedule will likely be subject to change as it depends heavily on the schedules of your clients. You need to be the type that's flexible and calm regarding sudden changes.\\nSelf motivation and organization are also desirable qualities for pet sitters. You'll need to manage your schedule around multiple clients and track the needs of a variety of cats, dogs, and other pets.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get liability insurance.\", \"描述\": \"Professional pet sitters usually have commercial liability insurance to cover any accidents or incidents while they pet sit. If you're looking into longterm pet sitting, liability insurance might be a good investment.\\nPet sitting insurance will cover you in the event of any damage caused to the client’s home, such as accidentally knocking over an expensive vase or breaking a window. It will also cover you if you lose grip of the dog’s lead and he attacks another dog or person.\\nIn the United States, membership fees vary from company to company. Websites like petsitters.org and petsittersinsurance.com will help you compare rates and find the coverage that's right for you.\\nIf you're working through a pet sitting company, it's doubtful you'll need to take out insurance on your own. Most companies have policies in place that protect their employees. Check with the company you work for and ask questions about insurance and your personal coverage.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider pet sitting training.\", \"描述\": \"While a certification is not a requirement to be a pet sitter, having some professional training on your resume can impress present and future clients. It can also open up additional opportunities for you down the road.\\nA certification of training lets clients know you're serious about your job and dedicated to providing the best care possible. If you ever want to work with a pet sitting agency, having some form of professional training is a great resume booster.\\nA variety of organizations provide training programs for pet sitters. The National Assembly of Professional Pet Sitters and Pet Sitters International provide general training for pet sitting.\\nThe International Boarding and Pet Services Association provides training if you're looking into boarding dogs at your own kennel facility for extended periods. This can get pricey, however, as you're required to pass master exam to get certified. The exam can cost upwards of $125.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Have a positive attitude towards your job and have some fun! There's no good in being a grouch to your customers and their pet.\\n\", \"Avoid leaving the area messy when you leave. Some owners will expect a clean home when they get back. And it's always a pleasant surprise if they didn't anyway.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,501 |
How to Be a Good Piano Teacher
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1. Teaching Piano Students
1-1. Develop a lesson plan for each student.
A major pitfall for some new piano teachers is focusing too much on the lesson plan, at the expense of the student. Students learn at different paces, and have different strengths and weaknesses. Tailor your teaching to each student's needs. Keep an open dialogue about the student's musical tastes, and how he feels about the pieces and exercises you've assigned.
1-2. Start with the basics.
If you're new to piano teaching, you may spend more time than you expect on finger position, middle C, and other basic concepts. This is especially true if you are teaching young children.
Try letter notation to introduce students to reading music. Move on to regular staff notation once the student is ready.
Even some intermediate students may not have the type of training you expect. Do not assume they can read music or identify key signatures.
1-3. Focus on problem areas.
Take notes on where your student struggles, then adjust his lessons and homework to focus on those areas. During a lesson, have him play a song once through, then guide him through repetitions of the sections he had trouble with.
Don't overdo it with difficult assignments, especially if the student is not devoted to the piano. Keep the student motivated by including pieces that he excels at or particularly loves.
1-4. Make lessons fun.
Use games, repetition, and mnemonics to help students engage with the lesson. Try inciting student to want to excel, by introducing them to things like some of Liszt's Transcendental Etudes. Find a balance of fun and focus that works with your teaching style. This is especially important for children, who often learn best in a relaxed, but not distracting, atmosphere.
Young kids often respond well to reward systems. Try putting up a sticker chart and offering a prize when the student fills it with stickers.
A big part of this is giving students some choice over which pieces to play, or the chance to explore a style of music that appeals to them.
1-5. Provide honest criticism.
The best way to help a student improve is to hold her to a high standard. If you aren't strict about technique, the student may develop bad piano habits. This is especially true for advanced students who are serious about improving, but even a young beginner needs a teacher who can hold them to basic standards.
Criticism does not mean negativity. Acting exasperated, angry, or condescending will demotivate your students.
1-6. Encourage practicing.
Many students are reluctant to practice, being more interested in sports or being with their friends instead, which can make all your work together nearly useless. Keep an eye out for students who don't (or won't) practice, and talk to them (and if necessary, their parents) about ways to motivate them. If the student doesn't want to learn, the lessons will not lead anywhere.
2. Improving Your Teaching Skills
2-1. Keep up your own piano skills.
You do not need to be a virtuoso, but you cannot afford to cut corners either. Excellent sight-reading ability, knowledge of music theory, and good technique are all requirements for teaching piano.
2-2. Cultivate patience
As a piano expert, you know how difficult it can be to learn an instrument. You will need large reserves of patience to draw on, especially for difficult or unmotivated students. Do not let frustrating moments trigger unnecessary negativity.
2-3. Join music teacher associations.
Look for organizations on the local, state, or national level related to music teaching. Join these so you can share knowledge with your colleagues, and so you can pass on recital, audition, and competition opportunities to your students.
2-4. Invest in professional development.
If you already have teaching experience, you know that you need more than piano skills to be a good teacher. If you haven't already, consider earning a continuing education certificate or a similar qualification in music teaching.
Even if you are not able to enroll in a full course, spend time reviewing different lesson sets, reading books on pedagogy, and trading tips with other music teachers.
Tips
If you want to go above and beyond, adapt a student's favorite song to the piano and her skill level.
Stay professional while teaching. Address any behaviour concerns with parents after class.
Being a private piano teacher is like running any other business. You will have to do some accounting, pay taxes and remind the parents when they forget to pay for the class.
Warnings
Arrange a payment plan before beginning the lessons or taking a new student. Write down your policies regarding these formalities and give a copy to each new student.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Teaching Piano Students\\n1-1. Develop a lesson plan for each student.\\nA major pitfall for some new piano teachers is focusing too much on the lesson plan, at the expense of the student. Students learn at different paces, and have different strengths and weaknesses. Tailor your teaching to each student's needs. Keep an open dialogue about the student's musical tastes, and how he feels about the pieces and exercises you've assigned.\\n1-2. Start with the basics.\\nIf you're new to piano teaching, you may spend more time than you expect on finger position, middle C, and other basic concepts. This is especially true if you are teaching young children.\\nTry letter notation to introduce students to reading music. Move on to regular staff notation once the student is ready.\\nEven some intermediate students may not have the type of training you expect. Do not assume they can read music or identify key signatures.\\n1-3. Focus on problem areas.\\nTake notes on where your student struggles, then adjust his lessons and homework to focus on those areas. During a lesson, have him play a song once through, then guide him through repetitions of the sections he had trouble with.\\nDon't overdo it with difficult assignments, especially if the student is not devoted to the piano. Keep the student motivated by including pieces that he excels at or particularly loves.\\n1-4. Make lessons fun.\\nUse games, repetition, and mnemonics to help students engage with the lesson. Try inciting student to want to excel, by introducing them to things like some of Liszt's Transcendental Etudes. Find a balance of fun and focus that works with your teaching style. This is especially important for children, who often learn best in a relaxed, but not distracting, atmosphere.\\nYoung kids often respond well to reward systems. Try putting up a sticker chart and offering a prize when the student fills it with stickers.\\nA big part of this is giving students some choice over which pieces to play, or the chance to explore a style of music that appeals to them.\\n1-5. Provide honest criticism.\\nThe best way to help a student improve is to hold her to a high standard. If you aren't strict about technique, the student may develop bad piano habits. This is especially true for advanced students who are serious about improving, but even a young beginner needs a teacher who can hold them to basic standards.\\nCriticism does not mean negativity. Acting exasperated, angry, or condescending will demotivate your students.\\n1-6. Encourage practicing.\\nMany students are reluctant to practice, being more interested in sports or being with their friends instead, which can make all your work together nearly useless. Keep an eye out for students who don't (or won't) practice, and talk to them (and if necessary, their parents) about ways to motivate them. If the student doesn't want to learn, the lessons will not lead anywhere.\\n2. Improving Your Teaching Skills\\n2-1. Keep up your own piano skills.\\nYou do not need to be a virtuoso, but you cannot afford to cut corners either. Excellent sight-reading ability, knowledge of music theory, and good technique are all requirements for teaching piano.\\n2-2. Cultivate patience\\nAs a piano expert, you know how difficult it can be to learn an instrument. You will need large reserves of patience to draw on, especially for difficult or unmotivated students. Do not let frustrating moments trigger unnecessary negativity.\\n2-3. Join music teacher associations.\\nLook for organizations on the local, state, or national level related to music teaching. Join these so you can share knowledge with your colleagues, and so you can pass on recital, audition, and competition opportunities to your students.\\n2-4. Invest in professional development.\\nIf you already have teaching experience, you know that you need more than piano skills to be a good teacher. If you haven't already, consider earning a continuing education certificate or a similar qualification in music teaching.\\nEven if you are not able to enroll in a full course, spend time reviewing different lesson sets, reading books on pedagogy, and trading tips with other music teachers.\\nTips\\nIf you want to go above and beyond, adapt a student's favorite song to the piano and her skill level.\\nStay professional while teaching. Address any behaviour concerns with parents after class.\\nBeing a private piano teacher is like running any other business. You will have to do some accounting, pay taxes and remind the parents when they forget to pay for the class.\\nWarnings\\nArrange a payment plan before beginning the lessons or taking a new student. Write down your policies regarding these formalities and give a copy to each new student.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good piano teacher requires a lot more than playing skill. You'll need to empathize with students, guide them through difficult challenges, and motivate them to improve. Be prepared to share your knowledge with students from all perspectives, including people who do not yet share your dedication to the instrument.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Teaching Piano Students\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop a lesson plan for each student.\", \"描述\": \"A major pitfall for some new piano teachers is focusing too much on the lesson plan, at the expense of the student. Students learn at different paces, and have different strengths and weaknesses. Tailor your teaching to each student's needs. Keep an open dialogue about the student's musical tastes, and how he feels about the pieces and exercises you've assigned.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start with the basics.\", \"描述\": \"If you're new to piano teaching, you may spend more time than you expect on finger position, middle C, and other basic concepts. This is especially true if you are teaching young children.\\nTry letter notation to introduce students to reading music. Move on to regular staff notation once the student is ready.\\nEven some intermediate students may not have the type of training you expect. Do not assume they can read music or identify key signatures.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus on problem areas.\", \"描述\": \"Take notes on where your student struggles, then adjust his lessons and homework to focus on those areas. During a lesson, have him play a song once through, then guide him through repetitions of the sections he had trouble with.\\nDon't overdo it with difficult assignments, especially if the student is not devoted to the piano. Keep the student motivated by including pieces that he excels at or particularly loves.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make lessons fun.\", \"描述\": \"Use games, repetition, and mnemonics to help students engage with the lesson. Try inciting student to want to excel, by introducing them to things like some of Liszt's Transcendental Etudes. Find a balance of fun and focus that works with your teaching style. This is especially important for children, who often learn best in a relaxed, but not distracting, atmosphere.\\nYoung kids often respond well to reward systems. Try putting up a sticker chart and offering a prize when the student fills it with stickers.\\nA big part of this is giving students some choice over which pieces to play, or the chance to explore a style of music that appeals to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Provide honest criticism.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to help a student improve is to hold her to a high standard. If you aren't strict about technique, the student may develop bad piano habits. This is especially true for advanced students who are serious about improving, but even a young beginner needs a teacher who can hold them to basic standards.\\nCriticism does not mean negativity. Acting exasperated, angry, or condescending will demotivate your students.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Encourage practicing.\", \"描述\": \"Many students are reluctant to practice, being more interested in sports or being with their friends instead, which can make all your work together nearly useless. Keep an eye out for students who don't (or won't) practice, and talk to them (and if necessary, their parents) about ways to motivate them. If the student doesn't want to learn, the lessons will not lead anywhere.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Teaching Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep up your own piano skills.\", \"描述\": \"You do not need to be a virtuoso, but you cannot afford to cut corners either. Excellent sight-reading ability, knowledge of music theory, and good technique are all requirements for teaching piano.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cultivate patience\", \"描述\": \"As a piano expert, you know how difficult it can be to learn an instrument. You will need large reserves of patience to draw on, especially for difficult or unmotivated students. Do not let frustrating moments trigger unnecessary negativity.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join music teacher associations.\", \"描述\": \"Look for organizations on the local, state, or national level related to music teaching. Join these so you can share knowledge with your colleagues, and so you can pass on recital, audition, and competition opportunities to your students.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Invest in professional development.\", \"描述\": \"If you already have teaching experience, you know that you need more than piano skills to be a good teacher. If you haven't already, consider earning a continuing education certificate or a similar qualification in music teaching.\\nEven if you are not able to enroll in a full course, spend time reviewing different lesson sets, reading books on pedagogy, and trading tips with other music teachers.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you want to go above and beyond, adapt a student's favorite song to the piano and her skill level.\\n\", \"Stay professional while teaching. Address any behaviour concerns with parents after class.\\n\", \"Being a private piano teacher is like running any other business. You will have to do some accounting, pay taxes and remind the parents when they forget to pay for the class.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Arrange a payment plan before beginning the lessons or taking a new student. Write down your policies regarding these formalities and give a copy to each new student.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
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4,502 |
How to Be a Good Player
|
1. Learning Your Role
1-1. Develop your fundamentals.
If you want to be a good team player, you've got to work first on being a good all-around athlete, spending time building the fundamental skills necessary to your sport. If you want to be a great basketball player, that means spending time dribbling, developing your defensive skills, and learning to make crisp passes. If you want to be a great soccer player, you've got to learn to control the ball, shoot accurately, and move to space.
It's fun to just get out there and play the sport you play, but doing drills is an essential part of practicing. Instead of just shooting hoops, practice some of the dribbling drills you do in practice, or working on other defensive training drills that you learned from the coaches. Working on building the less-fun skills will help you to stand out and become a stronger player.
1-2. Learn the responsibilities of your position.
Playing a team means filling a specific role. Unlike being a tennis player or a golfer, playing as a part of a team means filling a role. It's not every football player's job to score touchdowns, and it's not every soccer player's job to shoot goals. Being a good player means learning the specific responsibilities and role of your position, and studying how best to fill that role.
Learn where you need to be on the field and what your specific job should be. If you're playing defense, figure how you select an opponent to mark up against. If you're controlling the ball, how can you best distribute it around the field?
When you're first learning how to play a sport, most of us want to go for the glamorous positions: quarterback, striker, point guard. A great team, though, is a team made up of role-players who play the positions for which they're most suited. If you're a great defender, don't waste energy being envious of the offensive positions. Embrace your role and commit to improving your skills.
1-3. Practice hard.
Showing up to practice and giving every single workout your best effort is a critical part of being a good team player. Practice hard and you'll improve your skills and your knowledge of the game, setting you and your team up for success.
Show up on time to practice and be prepared to work. Have your gear ready and plenty of water. Start stretching out and getting ready to work.
Have a good attitude about practice. Some athletes have lots of talent, but look like they'd rather be at home playing video games than building skills with teammates. Be a better player than that.
Leave all your grit and effort on the practice field. If you pull up and take it easy when you're supposed to be lifting weights, running laps, or doing drills, you're going to be slower, weaker, and less talented than your opponents. Bring it to practice.
1-4. Stay healthy.
Even if you're a great athlete, you can't be a good player if you're spending all your time healing from injuries and recovering on the bench. It's very important to take care of your body and stay healthy and in-shape to compete in games and give your team the best chance of winning, game in and game out.
Warm up before you practice and cool down afterward, every time. Never run onto the field without stretching and warming up your body for hard work. Good players should also take several minutes to stretch out after practice, to avoid cramping and soreness.
Get enough rest between workouts. If you've got to practice tomorrow, you shouldn't be staying up until the wee hours of the morning playing Xbox and chatting online. Get enough sleep, at least 8 hours, and allow your body ample time to recover and rest before putting it to the test again tomorrow.
1-5. Stay hydrated during workouts.
A study of NFL players found that almost 98% were dehydrated before workouts, which can lower performance levels by as much as 25%. Sports drinks and plain water are an important part of maintaining electrolytes and hydration, giving you the energy to perform at your highest level and stay healthy. Before working out, drink 15 or 20 ounces of water, and try to drink about 8 ounce of water every 15 minutes during practice. Drink slowly to avoid upsetting your stomach during intense workouts.
1-6. Listen to your coach.
Good players need to be coachable, which means you've got to learn to take criticism and apply new lessons to getting better and improving your skills on the field. Be respectful and learn to listen. Coaches aren't there to tell everyone that they're doing a great job and that everyone's going to end up going pro. Coaches are there to make you a better athlete and train you to win. Sometimes, that might mean you'll hear some suggestions and criticisms.
Bad players fold up and get frustrated when they receive criticism and good players will listen and take lessons from it. If your coach calls you out for your sloppy squats during a workout, you could get moody, or you could say, "Yes, coach!" and sweat a little harder.
Never argue with your coach, especially in front of the other players. If you've got a problem with strategy, or something the coach told you in practice, set up a private talk about chat about it alone. Good players should never question the authority of the coach in front of the team.
1-7. Communicate on the field.
Teams need to be organized and coordinated to win. Silent teams lose and talkative teams improve their chances of winning. Cheering for other players, calling for the ball, and communicating clearly about players and strategy is a critical part of team success. Make it your goal to be louder than the other team at all times.
It's important to talk to your teammates, but try to avoid trash-talking the other team. Unless it's absolutely necessary to talk some smack as a way of motivating your teammates. Then, go for it, but be gentle.
1-8. Push through the pain.
Training isn't always fun, and games can be crazy-exhausting. But good players–great players–learn to push the pain of training into the back of their mind and fight through it. When you're exhausted at the end of the game and the ball springs free between you and the goal, you could jog toward it tiredly, or you could dig deep and sprint. Good players sprint.
Find ways to stay motivated and fire up for games so that you'll be energetic and enthusiastic to fight for the whole game. Play some loud music that gets you pumped, or fire yourself up with a sports movie, or other team-building exercise that you enjoy.
2. Practicing Good Sportsmanship
2-1. Lose with dignity and win with class.
All games will come down to the final minute and you'll find out if all your hard work was enough to win, or if you've still got more work to put into it. Good players are tested at the moment the last whistle blows. Are you going to handle it with quiet dignity? Or are you going to be sore? Sportsmanship starts with knowing how to win gracefully and how to lose just as gracefully.
When you win, it's perfectly fine to celebrate, but never ok to taunt the opposing side. Be happy that you won, but never rub it in. Congratulate and compliment the other players for a job well-done and stay positive about the experience.
When you lose, it's ok to be disappointed. No one likes to lose. But don't sulk, make excuses, or lash out at the opposing team or your teammates. Treat each loss as a learning experience. What can you take from the game to use to improve for the next? What could you have done better?
2-2. Follow the rules and play clean.
Good players don't take shortcuts, or even look for them. Good players recognize that games aren't all about winning or losing, but about how you win or how you lose. You need to be able to look back at your performance with pride, regardless of the outcome. Hold yourself accountable.
In many team sports, the rules are a regularly changing thing. Learn the rules and study them, staying up to date on the newest and most recent rules.
2-3. Play with passion.
Good players run on passion and emotion when they're on the field, using their desire to succeed drive them. For some players, coming up with a good storyline or a good dramatic angle to the game is an important way of getting passionate. Saying "It's just a game" is a good way of going half-speed through the rest of the game. Michael Jordan used to invent slights and insults from his opponents, making it personal. He made each game a chance to show up his opponents and prove them wrong (even if they hadn't said anything to begin with).
Don't let your emotions take over and push you to poor sportsmanship. Play passionately, not angrily. Practice turning it on and turning it off when you're on the field only. As soon as the game is over, let it be over.
2-4. Don't show off.
Putting your skills on display to impress other players, observers, or opponents is bad sportsmanship. While it's common to get wrapped up in the competitiveness of the moment and want to do well, good players don't need to show off to prove their ability or to feel better about their skills. Know that you're talented and that you're a good player without the need of running up scores, embarrassing other players, and hamming it up for the fans.
One good team technique to get in the habit of practicing is to learn to pull back if you're winning by many points. On the soccer field, if your team is up by more than six goals, start making a rule that no one can shoot until every single player on the field has touched the ball. Use the opportunity to work on your ball handling. Make the game more challenging for yourself.
2-5. Don't argue with the officials.
When the referees make a call, specifically a call against you or one of your teammates, don't argue. Follow their instructions to the letter and speak to the officials respectfully. Talking back or arguing can make the punishments worse, displaying bad sportsmanship.
When you address the officials, use the word "Sir" or "Ma'am" and try to calm yourself, if you're frustrated. Take a second to take a deep breath and check your emotions before you open your mouth.
3. Being a Leader
3-1. Lead by example.
Being a leader doesn't necessarily mean being the most talkative, giving corny motivational speeches at halftime. Silent and stoic or loud and inspirational, leaders come in all forms, but have one thing in common. Leaders lead by example. You need to practice what you preach, putting lots of effort into your game and improving your play. When other teammates see you leaving everything on the field, doing that extra rep, running when your tank is expired, they'll be motivated to do the same. Go 100% all the time.
As a team leader, remember that you're not a coach. It's not your job to tell other players what to do, it's your job to be a good player. If others are motivated by your performance, all the better. If not, just focus on your own skills and in doing the best job you can do.
3-2. Learn to motivate your teammates.
Teams are only as fast as the slowest player, a chain as strong as the weakest link. Try to identify your teammates that need a little extra and help them out by pairing up during partner drills, or cheering them on during practice. If you're a strong player, you might automatically gravitate toward other strong players, but try to spend time with younger teammates who might need to learn more. It'll mean a lot to them and make you stand out as a leader.
Cheer on your teammates, clapping and encouraging the players when something goes right, and when you see other players getting frustrated with the way something is going. Take control of the morale of your team and encourage them toward success.
Different teams have different dynamics, meaning that there's no one way to motivate other players. Some good players may need motivated with some reverse psychology: "You can just sit this one out if you're feeling tired. Maybe it'd be better to let one of the freshman play instead?" Likewise, some unconfident players might need encouragement to improve their play: "You're looking like an upperclassman out there. Keep it up, kid."
3-3. Never make excuses or blame teammates for failures.
Morale can sink quickly with a loss, but if you get into the blame-game, it can sink a whole lot lower. Never throw other players under the bus for losses, or make excuses for your own play. It wasn't the officials, or the weather, or the subs fault that your team lost. It was the team's.
If it was obvious that one player had a particularly bad game, it's not necessary to talk about it. If that player looks particularly down, take them aside and give them a slap on the back. Get their head straight by reassuring them it's not their fault.
If one of your teammates gets punished for breaking a rule, take it upon yourself to serve out the punishment with the rest of the team. If one player gets a yellow card and has to run laps at the next practice, run laps with them. Get the other players to do the same. Come tougher as a team and act as one.
3-4. Be loud on the sideline.
Leaders should be hollering and cheering, invested in every game as if it were the Super Bowl. Cheer on your teammates and encourage them even when you're not on the field giving it your all. Get your other teammates invested in the outcome of the game, even if they're not playing. Support everyone and be loud.
3-5. Leave it all on the field.
Each time you go out to play, inspire your teammates by leaving everything you've got out there on the field. 110% every time you play. Push through the pain, rely on your training, and make sure that you never finish a game wondering if you could have played harder. Sweat and grit it out to give your team the best chance of winning.
Tips
Try to practice cool tricks that will impressive your coach and teammates at home!
For more experience,watch videos on soccer tactics and practice them regularly so as to improve and master them.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Learning Your Role\\n1-1. Develop your fundamentals.\\nIf you want to be a good team player, you've got to work first on being a good all-around athlete, spending time building the fundamental skills necessary to your sport. If you want to be a great basketball player, that means spending time dribbling, developing your defensive skills, and learning to make crisp passes. If you want to be a great soccer player, you've got to learn to control the ball, shoot accurately, and move to space.\\nIt's fun to just get out there and play the sport you play, but doing drills is an essential part of practicing. Instead of just shooting hoops, practice some of the dribbling drills you do in practice, or working on other defensive training drills that you learned from the coaches. Working on building the less-fun skills will help you to stand out and become a stronger player.\\n1-2. Learn the responsibilities of your position.\\nPlaying a team means filling a specific role. Unlike being a tennis player or a golfer, playing as a part of a team means filling a role. It's not every football player's job to score touchdowns, and it's not every soccer player's job to shoot goals. Being a good player means learning the specific responsibilities and role of your position, and studying how best to fill that role.\\nLearn where you need to be on the field and what your specific job should be. If you're playing defense, figure how you select an opponent to mark up against. If you're controlling the ball, how can you best distribute it around the field?\\nWhen you're first learning how to play a sport, most of us want to go for the glamorous positions: quarterback, striker, point guard. A great team, though, is a team made up of role-players who play the positions for which they're most suited. If you're a great defender, don't waste energy being envious of the offensive positions. Embrace your role and commit to improving your skills.\\n1-3. Practice hard.\\nShowing up to practice and giving every single workout your best effort is a critical part of being a good team player. Practice hard and you'll improve your skills and your knowledge of the game, setting you and your team up for success.\\nShow up on time to practice and be prepared to work. Have your gear ready and plenty of water. Start stretching out and getting ready to work.\\nHave a good attitude about practice. Some athletes have lots of talent, but look like they'd rather be at home playing video games than building skills with teammates. Be a better player than that.\\nLeave all your grit and effort on the practice field. If you pull up and take it easy when you're supposed to be lifting weights, running laps, or doing drills, you're going to be slower, weaker, and less talented than your opponents. Bring it to practice.\\n1-4. Stay healthy.\\nEven if you're a great athlete, you can't be a good player if you're spending all your time healing from injuries and recovering on the bench. It's very important to take care of your body and stay healthy and in-shape to compete in games and give your team the best chance of winning, game in and game out.\\nWarm up before you practice and cool down afterward, every time. Never run onto the field without stretching and warming up your body for hard work. Good players should also take several minutes to stretch out after practice, to avoid cramping and soreness.\\nGet enough rest between workouts. If you've got to practice tomorrow, you shouldn't be staying up until the wee hours of the morning playing Xbox and chatting online. Get enough sleep, at least 8 hours, and allow your body ample time to recover and rest before putting it to the test again tomorrow.\\n1-5. Stay hydrated during workouts.\\nA study of NFL players found that almost 98% were dehydrated before workouts, which can lower performance levels by as much as 25%. Sports drinks and plain water are an important part of maintaining electrolytes and hydration, giving you the energy to perform at your highest level and stay healthy. Before working out, drink 15 or 20 ounces of water, and try to drink about 8 ounce of water every 15 minutes during practice. Drink slowly to avoid upsetting your stomach during intense workouts.\\n1-6. Listen to your coach.\\nGood players need to be coachable, which means you've got to learn to take criticism and apply new lessons to getting better and improving your skills on the field. Be respectful and learn to listen. Coaches aren't there to tell everyone that they're doing a great job and that everyone's going to end up going pro. Coaches are there to make you a better athlete and train you to win. Sometimes, that might mean you'll hear some suggestions and criticisms.\\nBad players fold up and get frustrated when they receive criticism and good players will listen and take lessons from it. If your coach calls you out for your sloppy squats during a workout, you could get moody, or you could say, \\\"Yes, coach!\\\" and sweat a little harder.\\nNever argue with your coach, especially in front of the other players. If you've got a problem with strategy, or something the coach told you in practice, set up a private talk about chat about it alone. Good players should never question the authority of the coach in front of the team.\\n1-7. Communicate on the field.\\nTeams need to be organized and coordinated to win. Silent teams lose and talkative teams improve their chances of winning. Cheering for other players, calling for the ball, and communicating clearly about players and strategy is a critical part of team success. Make it your goal to be louder than the other team at all times.\\nIt's important to talk to your teammates, but try to avoid trash-talking the other team. Unless it's absolutely necessary to talk some smack as a way of motivating your teammates. Then, go for it, but be gentle.\\n1-8. Push through the pain.\\nTraining isn't always fun, and games can be crazy-exhausting. But good players–great players–learn to push the pain of training into the back of their mind and fight through it. When you're exhausted at the end of the game and the ball springs free between you and the goal, you could jog toward it tiredly, or you could dig deep and sprint. Good players sprint.\\nFind ways to stay motivated and fire up for games so that you'll be energetic and enthusiastic to fight for the whole game. Play some loud music that gets you pumped, or fire yourself up with a sports movie, or other team-building exercise that you enjoy.\\n2. Practicing Good Sportsmanship\\n2-1. Lose with dignity and win with class.\\nAll games will come down to the final minute and you'll find out if all your hard work was enough to win, or if you've still got more work to put into it. Good players are tested at the moment the last whistle blows. Are you going to handle it with quiet dignity? Or are you going to be sore? Sportsmanship starts with knowing how to win gracefully and how to lose just as gracefully.\\nWhen you win, it's perfectly fine to celebrate, but never ok to taunt the opposing side. Be happy that you won, but never rub it in. Congratulate and compliment the other players for a job well-done and stay positive about the experience.\\nWhen you lose, it's ok to be disappointed. No one likes to lose. But don't sulk, make excuses, or lash out at the opposing team or your teammates. Treat each loss as a learning experience. What can you take from the game to use to improve for the next? What could you have done better?\\n2-2. Follow the rules and play clean.\\nGood players don't take shortcuts, or even look for them. Good players recognize that games aren't all about winning or losing, but about how you win or how you lose. You need to be able to look back at your performance with pride, regardless of the outcome. Hold yourself accountable.\\nIn many team sports, the rules are a regularly changing thing. Learn the rules and study them, staying up to date on the newest and most recent rules.\\n2-3. Play with passion.\\nGood players run on passion and emotion when they're on the field, using their desire to succeed drive them. For some players, coming up with a good storyline or a good dramatic angle to the game is an important way of getting passionate. Saying \\\"It's just a game\\\" is a good way of going half-speed through the rest of the game. Michael Jordan used to invent slights and insults from his opponents, making it personal. He made each game a chance to show up his opponents and prove them wrong (even if they hadn't said anything to begin with).\\nDon't let your emotions take over and push you to poor sportsmanship. Play passionately, not angrily. Practice turning it on and turning it off when you're on the field only. As soon as the game is over, let it be over.\\n2-4. Don't show off.\\nPutting your skills on display to impress other players, observers, or opponents is bad sportsmanship. While it's common to get wrapped up in the competitiveness of the moment and want to do well, good players don't need to show off to prove their ability or to feel better about their skills. Know that you're talented and that you're a good player without the need of running up scores, embarrassing other players, and hamming it up for the fans.\\nOne good team technique to get in the habit of practicing is to learn to pull back if you're winning by many points. On the soccer field, if your team is up by more than six goals, start making a rule that no one can shoot until every single player on the field has touched the ball. Use the opportunity to work on your ball handling. Make the game more challenging for yourself.\\n2-5. Don't argue with the officials.\\nWhen the referees make a call, specifically a call against you or one of your teammates, don't argue. Follow their instructions to the letter and speak to the officials respectfully. Talking back or arguing can make the punishments worse, displaying bad sportsmanship.\\nWhen you address the officials, use the word \\\"Sir\\\" or \\\"Ma'am\\\" and try to calm yourself, if you're frustrated. Take a second to take a deep breath and check your emotions before you open your mouth.\\n3. Being a Leader\\n3-1. Lead by example.\\nBeing a leader doesn't necessarily mean being the most talkative, giving corny motivational speeches at halftime. Silent and stoic or loud and inspirational, leaders come in all forms, but have one thing in common. Leaders lead by example. You need to practice what you preach, putting lots of effort into your game and improving your play. When other teammates see you leaving everything on the field, doing that extra rep, running when your tank is expired, they'll be motivated to do the same. Go 100% all the time.\\nAs a team leader, remember that you're not a coach. It's not your job to tell other players what to do, it's your job to be a good player. If others are motivated by your performance, all the better. If not, just focus on your own skills and in doing the best job you can do.\\n3-2. Learn to motivate your teammates.\\nTeams are only as fast as the slowest player, a chain as strong as the weakest link. Try to identify your teammates that need a little extra and help them out by pairing up during partner drills, or cheering them on during practice. If you're a strong player, you might automatically gravitate toward other strong players, but try to spend time with younger teammates who might need to learn more. It'll mean a lot to them and make you stand out as a leader.\\nCheer on your teammates, clapping and encouraging the players when something goes right, and when you see other players getting frustrated with the way something is going. Take control of the morale of your team and encourage them toward success.\\nDifferent teams have different dynamics, meaning that there's no one way to motivate other players. Some good players may need motivated with some reverse psychology: \\\"You can just sit this one out if you're feeling tired. Maybe it'd be better to let one of the freshman play instead?\\\" Likewise, some unconfident players might need encouragement to improve their play: \\\"You're looking like an upperclassman out there. Keep it up, kid.\\\"\\n3-3. Never make excuses or blame teammates for failures.\\nMorale can sink quickly with a loss, but if you get into the blame-game, it can sink a whole lot lower. Never throw other players under the bus for losses, or make excuses for your own play. It wasn't the officials, or the weather, or the subs fault that your team lost. It was the team's.\\nIf it was obvious that one player had a particularly bad game, it's not necessary to talk about it. If that player looks particularly down, take them aside and give them a slap on the back. Get their head straight by reassuring them it's not their fault.\\nIf one of your teammates gets punished for breaking a rule, take it upon yourself to serve out the punishment with the rest of the team. If one player gets a yellow card and has to run laps at the next practice, run laps with them. Get the other players to do the same. Come tougher as a team and act as one.\\n3-4. Be loud on the sideline.\\nLeaders should be hollering and cheering, invested in every game as if it were the Super Bowl. Cheer on your teammates and encourage them even when you're not on the field giving it your all. Get your other teammates invested in the outcome of the game, even if they're not playing. Support everyone and be loud.\\n3-5. Leave it all on the field.\\nEach time you go out to play, inspire your teammates by leaving everything you've got out there on the field. 110% every time you play. Push through the pain, rely on your training, and make sure that you never finish a game wondering if you could have played harder. Sweat and grit it out to give your team the best chance of winning.\\nTips\\nTry to practice cool tricks that will impressive your coach and teammates at home!\\nFor more experience,watch videos on soccer tactics and practice them regularly so as to improve and master them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good player is about more than skills. If you want to improve your game and the games of your teammates, you can learn to fill the role your team demands of you, leading by example and being the best sportsman you can be. Teams need good players. Are you up for the challenge?\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learning Your Role\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop your fundamentals.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good team player, you've got to work first on being a good all-around athlete, spending time building the fundamental skills necessary to your sport. If you want to be a great basketball player, that means spending time dribbling, developing your defensive skills, and learning to make crisp passes. If you want to be a great soccer player, you've got to learn to control the ball, shoot accurately, and move to space.\\nIt's fun to just get out there and play the sport you play, but doing drills is an essential part of practicing. Instead of just shooting hoops, practice some of the dribbling drills you do in practice, or working on other defensive training drills that you learned from the coaches. Working on building the less-fun skills will help you to stand out and become a stronger player.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn the responsibilities of your position.\", \"描述\": \"Playing a team means filling a specific role. Unlike being a tennis player or a golfer, playing as a part of a team means filling a role. It's not every football player's job to score touchdowns, and it's not every soccer player's job to shoot goals. Being a good player means learning the specific responsibilities and role of your position, and studying how best to fill that role.\\nLearn where you need to be on the field and what your specific job should be. If you're playing defense, figure how you select an opponent to mark up against. If you're controlling the ball, how can you best distribute it around the field?\\nWhen you're first learning how to play a sport, most of us want to go for the glamorous positions: quarterback, striker, point guard. A great team, though, is a team made up of role-players who play the positions for which they're most suited. If you're a great defender, don't waste energy being envious of the offensive positions. Embrace your role and commit to improving your skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice hard.\", \"描述\": \"Showing up to practice and giving every single workout your best effort is a critical part of being a good team player. Practice hard and you'll improve your skills and your knowledge of the game, setting you and your team up for success.\\nShow up on time to practice and be prepared to work. Have your gear ready and plenty of water. Start stretching out and getting ready to work.\\nHave a good attitude about practice. Some athletes have lots of talent, but look like they'd rather be at home playing video games than building skills with teammates. Be a better player than that.\\nLeave all your grit and effort on the practice field. If you pull up and take it easy when you're supposed to be lifting weights, running laps, or doing drills, you're going to be slower, weaker, and less talented than your opponents. Bring it to practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay healthy.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're a great athlete, you can't be a good player if you're spending all your time healing from injuries and recovering on the bench. It's very important to take care of your body and stay healthy and in-shape to compete in games and give your team the best chance of winning, game in and game out.\\nWarm up before you practice and cool down afterward, every time. Never run onto the field without stretching and warming up your body for hard work. Good players should also take several minutes to stretch out after practice, to avoid cramping and soreness.\\nGet enough rest between workouts. If you've got to practice tomorrow, you shouldn't be staying up until the wee hours of the morning playing Xbox and chatting online. Get enough sleep, at least 8 hours, and allow your body ample time to recover and rest before putting it to the test again tomorrow.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay hydrated during workouts.\", \"描述\": \"A study of NFL players found that almost 98% were dehydrated before workouts, which can lower performance levels by as much as 25%. Sports drinks and plain water are an important part of maintaining electrolytes and hydration, giving you the energy to perform at your highest level and stay healthy. Before working out, drink 15 or 20 ounces of water, and try to drink about 8 ounce of water every 15 minutes during practice. Drink slowly to avoid upsetting your stomach during intense workouts.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Listen to your coach.\", \"描述\": \"Good players need to be coachable, which means you've got to learn to take criticism and apply new lessons to getting better and improving your skills on the field. Be respectful and learn to listen. Coaches aren't there to tell everyone that they're doing a great job and that everyone's going to end up going pro. Coaches are there to make you a better athlete and train you to win. Sometimes, that might mean you'll hear some suggestions and criticisms.\\nBad players fold up and get frustrated when they receive criticism and good players will listen and take lessons from it. If your coach calls you out for your sloppy squats during a workout, you could get moody, or you could say, \\\"Yes, coach!\\\" and sweat a little harder.\\nNever argue with your coach, especially in front of the other players. If you've got a problem with strategy, or something the coach told you in practice, set up a private talk about chat about it alone. Good players should never question the authority of the coach in front of the team.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Communicate on the field.\", \"描述\": \"Teams need to be organized and coordinated to win. Silent teams lose and talkative teams improve their chances of winning. Cheering for other players, calling for the ball, and communicating clearly about players and strategy is a critical part of team success. Make it your goal to be louder than the other team at all times.\\nIt's important to talk to your teammates, but try to avoid trash-talking the other team. Unless it's absolutely necessary to talk some smack as a way of motivating your teammates. Then, go for it, but be gentle.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Push through the pain.\", \"描述\": \"Training isn't always fun, and games can be crazy-exhausting. But good players–great players–learn to push the pain of training into the back of their mind and fight through it. When you're exhausted at the end of the game and the ball springs free between you and the goal, you could jog toward it tiredly, or you could dig deep and sprint. Good players sprint.\\nFind ways to stay motivated and fire up for games so that you'll be energetic and enthusiastic to fight for the whole game. Play some loud music that gets you pumped, or fire yourself up with a sports movie, or other team-building exercise that you enjoy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practicing Good Sportsmanship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lose with dignity and win with class.\", \"描述\": \"All games will come down to the final minute and you'll find out if all your hard work was enough to win, or if you've still got more work to put into it. Good players are tested at the moment the last whistle blows. Are you going to handle it with quiet dignity? Or are you going to be sore? Sportsmanship starts with knowing how to win gracefully and how to lose just as gracefully.\\nWhen you win, it's perfectly fine to celebrate, but never ok to taunt the opposing side. Be happy that you won, but never rub it in. Congratulate and compliment the other players for a job well-done and stay positive about the experience.\\nWhen you lose, it's ok to be disappointed. No one likes to lose. But don't sulk, make excuses, or lash out at the opposing team or your teammates. Treat each loss as a learning experience. What can you take from the game to use to improve for the next? What could you have done better?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow the rules and play clean.\", \"描述\": \"Good players don't take shortcuts, or even look for them. Good players recognize that games aren't all about winning or losing, but about how you win or how you lose. You need to be able to look back at your performance with pride, regardless of the outcome. Hold yourself accountable.\\nIn many team sports, the rules are a regularly changing thing. Learn the rules and study them, staying up to date on the newest and most recent rules.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Play with passion.\", \"描述\": \"Good players run on passion and emotion when they're on the field, using their desire to succeed drive them. For some players, coming up with a good storyline or a good dramatic angle to the game is an important way of getting passionate. Saying \\\"It's just a game\\\" is a good way of going half-speed through the rest of the game. Michael Jordan used to invent slights and insults from his opponents, making it personal. He made each game a chance to show up his opponents and prove them wrong (even if they hadn't said anything to begin with).\\nDon't let your emotions take over and push you to poor sportsmanship. Play passionately, not angrily. Practice turning it on and turning it off when you're on the field only. As soon as the game is over, let it be over.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't show off.\", \"描述\": \"Putting your skills on display to impress other players, observers, or opponents is bad sportsmanship. While it's common to get wrapped up in the competitiveness of the moment and want to do well, good players don't need to show off to prove their ability or to feel better about their skills. Know that you're talented and that you're a good player without the need of running up scores, embarrassing other players, and hamming it up for the fans.\\nOne good team technique to get in the habit of practicing is to learn to pull back if you're winning by many points. On the soccer field, if your team is up by more than six goals, start making a rule that no one can shoot until every single player on the field has touched the ball. Use the opportunity to work on your ball handling. Make the game more challenging for yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't argue with the officials.\", \"描述\": \"When the referees make a call, specifically a call against you or one of your teammates, don't argue. Follow their instructions to the letter and speak to the officials respectfully. Talking back or arguing can make the punishments worse, displaying bad sportsmanship.\\nWhen you address the officials, use the word \\\"Sir\\\" or \\\"Ma'am\\\" and try to calm yourself, if you're frustrated. Take a second to take a deep breath and check your emotions before you open your mouth.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being a Leader\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lead by example.\", \"描述\": \"Being a leader doesn't necessarily mean being the most talkative, giving corny motivational speeches at halftime. Silent and stoic or loud and inspirational, leaders come in all forms, but have one thing in common. Leaders lead by example. You need to practice what you preach, putting lots of effort into your game and improving your play. When other teammates see you leaving everything on the field, doing that extra rep, running when your tank is expired, they'll be motivated to do the same. Go 100% all the time.\\nAs a team leader, remember that you're not a coach. It's not your job to tell other players what to do, it's your job to be a good player. If others are motivated by your performance, all the better. If not, just focus on your own skills and in doing the best job you can do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to motivate your teammates.\", \"描述\": \"Teams are only as fast as the slowest player, a chain as strong as the weakest link. Try to identify your teammates that need a little extra and help them out by pairing up during partner drills, or cheering them on during practice. If you're a strong player, you might automatically gravitate toward other strong players, but try to spend time with younger teammates who might need to learn more. It'll mean a lot to them and make you stand out as a leader.\\nCheer on your teammates, clapping and encouraging the players when something goes right, and when you see other players getting frustrated with the way something is going. Take control of the morale of your team and encourage them toward success.\\nDifferent teams have different dynamics, meaning that there's no one way to motivate other players. Some good players may need motivated with some reverse psychology: \\\"You can just sit this one out if you're feeling tired. Maybe it'd be better to let one of the freshman play instead?\\\" Likewise, some unconfident players might need encouragement to improve their play: \\\"You're looking like an upperclassman out there. Keep it up, kid.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Never make excuses or blame teammates for failures.\", \"描述\": \"Morale can sink quickly with a loss, but if you get into the blame-game, it can sink a whole lot lower. Never throw other players under the bus for losses, or make excuses for your own play. It wasn't the officials, or the weather, or the subs fault that your team lost. It was the team's.\\nIf it was obvious that one player had a particularly bad game, it's not necessary to talk about it. If that player looks particularly down, take them aside and give them a slap on the back. Get their head straight by reassuring them it's not their fault.\\nIf one of your teammates gets punished for breaking a rule, take it upon yourself to serve out the punishment with the rest of the team. If one player gets a yellow card and has to run laps at the next practice, run laps with them. Get the other players to do the same. Come tougher as a team and act as one.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be loud on the sideline.\", \"描述\": \"Leaders should be hollering and cheering, invested in every game as if it were the Super Bowl. Cheer on your teammates and encourage them even when you're not on the field giving it your all. Get your other teammates invested in the outcome of the game, even if they're not playing. Support everyone and be loud.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Leave it all on the field.\", \"描述\": \"Each time you go out to play, inspire your teammates by leaving everything you've got out there on the field. 110% every time you play. Push through the pain, rely on your training, and make sure that you never finish a game wondering if you could have played harder. Sweat and grit it out to give your team the best chance of winning.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to practice cool tricks that will impressive your coach and teammates at home!\\n\", \"For more experience,watch videos on soccer tactics and practice them regularly so as to improve and master them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,503 |
How to Be a Good Player on Roblox
|
1. Steps
1-1. Improve your control skills.
Watch YouTube videos on how to beat certain game modes or obbies if you are struggling, and see if you can use those same techniques on the game you are playing. Get tips from friends who are a pro at a certain game, or keep practicing until you get where you want to be.
Playing an obby is a good way to practice your controls. You use the WASD or arrow keys to move, space bar to jump, and you can scroll or use the I and O keys to zoom in and out.
1-2. Practice with obstacles.
Play games involving obstacle courses or lots of weapons, such as Doomsday Brickspire. There are some rocket launchers that fire multiple rockets with spaces in between. Practice with admin, which some games offer for free or for the price of Robux. #*Don't panic or rage if you die. Keep your cool, and avoid saying offensive comments to other players. Being patient is a key part of becoming a pro Roblox player.
1-3. Try some hand-to-hand combat.
Wait to practice this until you are under attack. When you get cornered, turn around and slash quickly with your sword, or use another weapon such as a gun as quickly as possible. If you are an attacker, be on the lookout for pro players who are excellent at hand-to-hand combat.
1-4. Avoid lagging on games.
Certain games might not work as well on certain devices, so avoid those games and play them on a device that doesn't lag. If you do lag or the game glitches (i.e. your screen starts spinning endlessly in circles), reset your character and see if the lag/glitch stops. If it doesn't, you can always leave the game and join a different server or play a different game.
1-5. Be nice:
It's the best way to get people to respect you. That includes the following:
Don't try to roast other players if you did something worthy of praise.
Don't bully other players, and stand up for players who are being bullied.
Don't be inappropriate in any way (i.e. dress your avatar in an inappropriate manner, yelling words of profanity in the chat, or calling people names referring to sexuality or profanity).
Don't use curse words.
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1-6. Help other people.
People might want to become your friend more often if you are nice, and helpful. People don't want to be friends with people who say things like "lol, figure it out yourself noob!"
1-7. Get KOs.
Getting high scores at fighting games can make you a better Robloxian. But don't get many Wipeouts! You might be able to get badges for completing harder tasks or levels.
1-8. Always use Shift-Lock.
For straight, consecutive bar jumps, enable Shift-Lock and jump sideways.
1-9. If you use a sword as a weapon, attack your enemy when the tip of the sword is closest to the enemy.
However, don't take too long trying to figure this out, as the other player can attack you while you pause.
1-10. Frequently move back and forth while in combat.
You can confuse the other players by moving frequently, as long as you can aim your weapon at the player and not miss them.
1-11. Attack from behind the enemy.
Always be ready to be attacked from behind by zooming out to see if anyone is behind you.
Always go in the first person.
If there are kill cams, use them to your advantage to see where the enemy killed you at.
Don't blame your teammates; it is rare that they are that bad that you need to blame them for your loss, prevent fighting with them!
Tips
When making a level, locking models would be good so you wouldn't accidentally move it, or delete it.
To reduce lag, you can open the menu while in-game (Press the 'esc' key, or click it in the bottom left), then click 'Game Settings.' Uncheck the 'Auto' for graphics quality, and slide the arrow all the way to the left.
Make sure you read all of the rules and follow them on a game!
Warnings
Don't get banned. You can only get banned if you get reported for doing something wrong.
Don’t fall for free Robux scams. Entering your password on these scam sites will make you end up having your account hacked.
Don't get reported. To avoid being reported, avoid being unkind, using curse words, having an inappropriate username, or partaking in online dating.
Some games can be in the third person, but if possible stay in the first person.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Improve your control skills.\\nWatch YouTube videos on how to beat certain game modes or obbies if you are struggling, and see if you can use those same techniques on the game you are playing. Get tips from friends who are a pro at a certain game, or keep practicing until you get where you want to be. \\nPlaying an obby is a good way to practice your controls. You use the WASD or arrow keys to move, space bar to jump, and you can scroll or use the I and O keys to zoom in and out.\\n1-2. Practice with obstacles.\\nPlay games involving obstacle courses or lots of weapons, such as Doomsday Brickspire. There are some rocket launchers that fire multiple rockets with spaces in between. Practice with admin, which some games offer for free or for the price of Robux. #*Don't panic or rage if you die. Keep your cool, and avoid saying offensive comments to other players. Being patient is a key part of becoming a pro Roblox player.\\n1-3. Try some hand-to-hand combat.\\nWait to practice this until you are under attack. When you get cornered, turn around and slash quickly with your sword, or use another weapon such as a gun as quickly as possible. If you are an attacker, be on the lookout for pro players who are excellent at hand-to-hand combat.\\n1-4. Avoid lagging on games.\\nCertain games might not work as well on certain devices, so avoid those games and play them on a device that doesn't lag. If you do lag or the game glitches (i.e. your screen starts spinning endlessly in circles), reset your character and see if the lag/glitch stops. If it doesn't, you can always leave the game and join a different server or play a different game.\\n1-5. Be nice:\\nIt's the best way to get people to respect you. That includes the following:\\nDon't try to roast other players if you did something worthy of praise.\\nDon't bully other players, and stand up for players who are being bullied.\\nDon't be inappropriate in any way (i.e. dress your avatar in an inappropriate manner, yelling words of profanity in the chat, or calling people names referring to sexuality or profanity).\\nDon't use curse words.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/36\\\\/Be-a-Good-Player-on-ROBLOX-Step-5.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-a-Good-Player-on-ROBLOX-Step-5.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/36\\\\/Be-a-Good-Player-on-ROBLOX-Step-5.jpg\\\\/aid411883-v4-728px-Be-a-Good-Player-on-ROBLOX-Step-5.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a> (screenshot)<br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n1-6. Help other people.\\nPeople might want to become your friend more often if you are nice, and helpful. People don't want to be friends with people who say things like \\\"lol, figure it out yourself noob!\\\"\\n1-7. Get KOs.\\nGetting high scores at fighting games can make you a better Robloxian. But don't get many Wipeouts! You might be able to get badges for completing harder tasks or levels.\\n1-8. Always use Shift-Lock.\\nFor straight, consecutive bar jumps, enable Shift-Lock and jump sideways.\\n1-9. If you use a sword as a weapon, attack your enemy when the tip of the sword is closest to the enemy.\\nHowever, don't take too long trying to figure this out, as the other player can attack you while you pause.\\n1-10. Frequently move back and forth while in combat.\\nYou can confuse the other players by moving frequently, as long as you can aim your weapon at the player and not miss them.\\n1-11. Attack from behind the enemy.\\nAlways be ready to be attacked from behind by zooming out to see if anyone is behind you.\\nAlways go in the first person.\\nIf there are kill cams, use them to your advantage to see where the enemy killed you at.\\nDon't blame your teammates; it is rare that they are that bad that you need to blame them for your loss, prevent fighting with them!\\nTips\\nWhen making a level, locking models would be good so you wouldn't accidentally move it, or delete it.\\nTo reduce lag, you can open the menu while in-game (Press the 'esc' key, or click it in the bottom left), then click 'Game Settings.' Uncheck the 'Auto' for graphics quality, and slide the arrow all the way to the left.\\nMake sure you read all of the rules and follow them on a game!\\nWarnings\\nDon't get banned. You can only get banned if you get reported for doing something wrong.\\nDon’t fall for free Robux scams. Entering your password on these scam sites will make you end up having your account hacked.\\nDon't get reported. To avoid being reported, avoid being unkind, using curse words, having an inappropriate username, or partaking in online dating.\\nSome games can be in the third person, but if possible stay in the first person.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you play Roblox and are not very good at it, here is a guide to help you become better at it! With just a bit of practice, you'll become a good player in no time!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improve your control skills.\", \"描述\": \"Watch YouTube videos on how to beat certain game modes or obbies if you are struggling, and see if you can use those same techniques on the game you are playing. Get tips from friends who are a pro at a certain game, or keep practicing until you get where you want to be. \\nPlaying an obby is a good way to practice your controls. You use the WASD or arrow keys to move, space bar to jump, and you can scroll or use the I and O keys to zoom in and out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice with obstacles.\", \"描述\": \"Play games involving obstacle courses or lots of weapons, such as Doomsday Brickspire. There are some rocket launchers that fire multiple rockets with spaces in between. Practice with admin, which some games offer for free or for the price of Robux. #*Don't panic or rage if you die. Keep your cool, and avoid saying offensive comments to other players. Being patient is a key part of becoming a pro Roblox player.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try some hand-to-hand combat.\", \"描述\": \"Wait to practice this until you are under attack. When you get cornered, turn around and slash quickly with your sword, or use another weapon such as a gun as quickly as possible. If you are an attacker, be on the lookout for pro players who are excellent at hand-to-hand combat.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid lagging on games.\", \"描述\": \"Certain games might not work as well on certain devices, so avoid those games and play them on a device that doesn't lag. If you do lag or the game glitches (i.e. your screen starts spinning endlessly in circles), reset your character and see if the lag/glitch stops. If it doesn't, you can always leave the game and join a different server or play a different game.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be nice:\", \"描述\": \"It's the best way to get people to respect you. That includes the following:\\nDon't try to roast other players if you did something worthy of praise.\\nDon't bully other players, and stand up for players who are being bullied.\\nDon't be inappropriate in any way (i.e. dress your avatar in an inappropriate manner, yelling words of profanity in the chat, or calling people names referring to sexuality or profanity).\\nDon't use curse words.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/36\\\\/Be-a-Good-Player-on-ROBLOX-Step-5.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-a-Good-Player-on-ROBLOX-Step-5.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/36\\\\/Be-a-Good-Player-on-ROBLOX-Step-5.jpg\\\\/aid411883-v4-728px-Be-a-Good-Player-on-ROBLOX-Step-5.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a> (screenshot)<br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Help other people.\", \"描述\": \"People might want to become your friend more often if you are nice, and helpful. People don't want to be friends with people who say things like \\\"lol, figure it out yourself noob!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get KOs.\", \"描述\": \"Getting high scores at fighting games can make you a better Robloxian. But don't get many Wipeouts! You might be able to get badges for completing harder tasks or levels.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Always use Shift-Lock.\", \"描述\": \"For straight, consecutive bar jumps, enable Shift-Lock and jump sideways.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"If you use a sword as a weapon, attack your enemy when the tip of the sword is closest to the enemy.\", \"描述\": \"However, don't take too long trying to figure this out, as the other player can attack you while you pause.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Frequently move back and forth while in combat.\", \"描述\": \"You can confuse the other players by moving frequently, as long as you can aim your weapon at the player and not miss them.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Attack from behind the enemy.\", \"描述\": \"Always be ready to be attacked from behind by zooming out to see if anyone is behind you.\\nAlways go in the first person.\\nIf there are kill cams, use them to your advantage to see where the enemy killed you at.\\nDon't blame your teammates; it is rare that they are that bad that you need to blame them for your loss, prevent fighting with them!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"When making a level, locking models would be good so you wouldn't accidentally move it, or delete it.\\n\", \"To reduce lag, you can open the menu while in-game (Press the 'esc' key, or click it in the bottom left), then click 'Game Settings.' Uncheck the 'Auto' for graphics quality, and slide the arrow all the way to the left.\\n\", \"Make sure you read all of the rules and follow them on a game!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't get banned. You can only get banned if you get reported for doing something wrong.\\n\", \"Don’t fall for free Robux scams. Entering your password on these scam sites will make you end up having your account hacked.\\n\", \"Don't get reported. To avoid being reported, avoid being unkind, using curse words, having an inappropriate username, or partaking in online dating.\\n\", \"Some games can be in the third person, but if possible stay in the first person.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
|
4,504 |
How to Be a Good Police Officer
|
1. Building Bridges to Your Community
1-1. Get out there and talk to the people in your community.
Talking to people will give you a better sense of what's going on in your community. Spend some time walking the streets in your area. Talk to civilians, just to get to know them and to introduce yourself. When people know the police officers in their community, they'll have a better relationship with them.
1-2. Take part in community events.
There are lots of ways for police officers to make a positive impact in their community outside of their regular work. Think of these as opportunities to strengthen ties with the residents of your area, and to help them build trust in their police force. Try things like:
Running a toys for tots drive.
Hosting “Shop with a Cop” events at holidays and back-to-school times to help children and families who are financially needy.
Volunteering to visit schools, community organizations, religious centers, and other locations to meet people and talk about the work that police officers do.
1-3. Study the demographics of your community.
To best serve your community, you need to know as much as possible about it. Talking to individuals face-to-face will tell you something about what's important to them, and what they're concerned about. Getting a big-picture view of your community will also help you serve them with sensitivity. Look at census data and other sources to learn things like:
What is the average age in my community?
What age range do the majority of people fall into?
What are the gender, race, and ethnicity breakdowns of the population?
What is the average household income in the area?
1-4. Learn about biases and how to overcome them.
Serving a diverse community is the reality for police officers. It's important to identify biases that may impact your thinking so that you can overcome them in order to make good judgments in your police work.
Biases, when unchecked, can lead to problems like racial profiling. Evidence shows that they can be overcome with proper training.
Ask your superiors to host a workshop on diversity to help officers.
Invite experts trained in the areas of diversity and biases to come and speak to your force.
1-5. Be as forthcoming as you can with the media.
Sometimes, it's necessary to withhold information from the press, especially for ongoing investigations. Appearing unnecessarily secretive, however, will make it harder for people to trust the police force.
If you can give the media the information they request, do so.
If you can't divulge information for any reason, tell them something like “I can't comment on that right now, because the investigation is ongoing. However, I promise to release that information to the public as soon as I am able.”
2. Developing Your Values
2-1. Talk with your fellow officers about your police culture.
Ask each member of your force to list the five values that are most important to them as officers. Then, share them with each other and discuss them.
Ask yourselves: what kind of relationship do these values suggest you have to each other and to your community? Is it an “us versus them” relationship, or do you see yourselves working together with your community?
2-2. Come up with a list of official values.
Now's the chance for you and your force to establish what you should aim for as officers. Look at the lists of values and decide which ones are important enough to adopted officially. Then write up the list and share it with your force. Ask questions like:
What goals do you want to reach in your community?
How do you want the public to perceive your force?
How will you evaluate yourselves to ensure you're doing your job well?
How will officers be reprimanded for not serving well?
2-3. Share your list of values with the public.
If you want your community members to trust you and understand the important work officers do, let them know about your values. Ask if the list of official values can be shared on your force's website or social media so that people can be aware. They'll appreciate seeing statements on principles that are recognized as foundational to policing, including:
Upholding democracy
Preserving human life
Preventing and solving crime
Involving the community
3. Dealing with Job-Related Stress
3-1. Focus on developing a sense of compassion for others.
Police work, at its foundation, is about protecting and serving people. To do this well, you have to see through the eyes of others, and try to feel what they do. Having compassion helps you make good decisions, especially in the heat of the moment.
For instance, if you find yourself in the midst of a domestic dispute where one party is agitated, compassion will help you realize that they are not necessarily directing anger at you to be threatening, but simply expressing how upset they are.
Likewise, if you learn to recognize signs of mental illness, you can understand when an individual's behavior is caused by a disease rather than criminal intent.
It's easy to become cynical as a police officer, but try to keep a positive mindset and remember that most people respect police officers and value what you're doing.
3-2. Look to conflict resolution rather than the use of force.
There are times when force is necessary to protect citizens or yourself. However, think of the question of whether or not to use force as a matter of human life, not the preservation of law.
Before using force against a person, ask yourself questions like “Is the use of force necessary in this case? Have I done everything I can to protect this person's life without the use of force?”
Even if you were required to undergo training in the proper use of force, as your superiors if they can host a refresher course for officers.
3-3. Seek a work-life balance.
Being a police officer can be extremely stressful. If stress builds up and isn't dealt with properly, it can cause you to make serious mistakes on the job. As an officer, you do not want to harm anyone or just to less than your best because of stress. Make time regularly to relax and take your mind off of work concerns.
Try to spend time with friends and family as often as you can.
Take a vacation if you have the opportunity.
See a mental health specialist if you feel like stress is impacting your work performance.
4. Improving Your Skills
4-1. Find a mentor.
Having a more experienced officer you can turn to for guidance will make a big difference. You'll gain both moral support and practical knowledge from a mentor. If your force doesn't already have a formal membership program, ask about starting one.
Try doing something like meeting with your mentor once a month for lunch to talk about how things are going.
4-2. Further your education.
Studies show that officers that get advanced education become better at their jobs. You could think about getting a degree in an area like criminal justice, if you don't already have one. If you already have a degree, you could also seek an advanced degree, such as a master's, or just take continuing education classes in areas such as:
Criminal justice
Conflict resolution
Interpersonal communication
Cyber security
Forensic science
4-3. Ask for a review if you haven't received one in a while.
Talk with your commanding officer about your job performance. What are your strengths? Your weaknesses? What areas should you focus on improving? This kind of feedback is very valuable when trying to become a better police officer.
Tips
Learn from your mistakes and always aim to keep growing as a police officer.[15]
X
Expert Source
Saul Jaeger, MSPolice Captain, Mountain View Police Department
Expert Interview. 21 February 2020.
Don't neglect your physical health and fitness, either. Eat right and get exercise, so you'll be physically ready for your job.
Make sure to carry at least one pen with you at all times to write tickets and write down information to use or give others.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Building Bridges to Your Community\\n1-1. Get out there and talk to the people in your community.\\nTalking to people will give you a better sense of what's going on in your community. Spend some time walking the streets in your area. Talk to civilians, just to get to know them and to introduce yourself. When people know the police officers in their community, they'll have a better relationship with them.\\n1-2. Take part in community events.\\nThere are lots of ways for police officers to make a positive impact in their community outside of their regular work. Think of these as opportunities to strengthen ties with the residents of your area, and to help them build trust in their police force. Try things like:\\nRunning a toys for tots drive.\\nHosting “Shop with a Cop” events at holidays and back-to-school times to help children and families who are financially needy.\\nVolunteering to visit schools, community organizations, religious centers, and other locations to meet people and talk about the work that police officers do.\\n1-3. Study the demographics of your community.\\nTo best serve your community, you need to know as much as possible about it. Talking to individuals face-to-face will tell you something about what's important to them, and what they're concerned about. Getting a big-picture view of your community will also help you serve them with sensitivity. Look at census data and other sources to learn things like:\\nWhat is the average age in my community?\\nWhat age range do the majority of people fall into?\\nWhat are the gender, race, and ethnicity breakdowns of the population?\\nWhat is the average household income in the area?\\n1-4. Learn about biases and how to overcome them.\\nServing a diverse community is the reality for police officers. It's important to identify biases that may impact your thinking so that you can overcome them in order to make good judgments in your police work.\\nBiases, when unchecked, can lead to problems like racial profiling. Evidence shows that they can be overcome with proper training.\\nAsk your superiors to host a workshop on diversity to help officers.\\nInvite experts trained in the areas of diversity and biases to come and speak to your force.\\n1-5. Be as forthcoming as you can with the media.\\nSometimes, it's necessary to withhold information from the press, especially for ongoing investigations. Appearing unnecessarily secretive, however, will make it harder for people to trust the police force.\\nIf you can give the media the information they request, do so.\\nIf you can't divulge information for any reason, tell them something like “I can't comment on that right now, because the investigation is ongoing. However, I promise to release that information to the public as soon as I am able.”\\n2. Developing Your Values\\n2-1. Talk with your fellow officers about your police culture.\\nAsk each member of your force to list the five values that are most important to them as officers. Then, share them with each other and discuss them.\\nAsk yourselves: what kind of relationship do these values suggest you have to each other and to your community? Is it an “us versus them” relationship, or do you see yourselves working together with your community?\\n2-2. Come up with a list of official values.\\nNow's the chance for you and your force to establish what you should aim for as officers. Look at the lists of values and decide which ones are important enough to adopted officially. Then write up the list and share it with your force. Ask questions like:\\nWhat goals do you want to reach in your community?\\nHow do you want the public to perceive your force?\\nHow will you evaluate yourselves to ensure you're doing your job well?\\nHow will officers be reprimanded for not serving well?\\n2-3. Share your list of values with the public.\\nIf you want your community members to trust you and understand the important work officers do, let them know about your values. Ask if the list of official values can be shared on your force's website or social media so that people can be aware. They'll appreciate seeing statements on principles that are recognized as foundational to policing, including:\\nUpholding democracy\\nPreserving human life\\nPreventing and solving crime\\nInvolving the community\\n3. Dealing with Job-Related Stress\\n3-1. Focus on developing a sense of compassion for others.\\nPolice work, at its foundation, is about protecting and serving people. To do this well, you have to see through the eyes of others, and try to feel what they do. Having compassion helps you make good decisions, especially in the heat of the moment.\\nFor instance, if you find yourself in the midst of a domestic dispute where one party is agitated, compassion will help you realize that they are not necessarily directing anger at you to be threatening, but simply expressing how upset they are.\\nLikewise, if you learn to recognize signs of mental illness, you can understand when an individual's behavior is caused by a disease rather than criminal intent.\\nIt's easy to become cynical as a police officer, but try to keep a positive mindset and remember that most people respect police officers and value what you're doing.\\n3-2. Look to conflict resolution rather than the use of force.\\nThere are times when force is necessary to protect citizens or yourself. However, think of the question of whether or not to use force as a matter of human life, not the preservation of law.\\nBefore using force against a person, ask yourself questions like “Is the use of force necessary in this case? Have I done everything I can to protect this person's life without the use of force?”\\nEven if you were required to undergo training in the proper use of force, as your superiors if they can host a refresher course for officers.\\n3-3. Seek a work-life balance.\\nBeing a police officer can be extremely stressful. If stress builds up and isn't dealt with properly, it can cause you to make serious mistakes on the job. As an officer, you do not want to harm anyone or just to less than your best because of stress. Make time regularly to relax and take your mind off of work concerns.\\nTry to spend time with friends and family as often as you can.\\nTake a vacation if you have the opportunity.\\nSee a mental health specialist if you feel like stress is impacting your work performance.\\n4. Improving Your Skills\\n4-1. Find a mentor.\\nHaving a more experienced officer you can turn to for guidance will make a big difference. You'll gain both moral support and practical knowledge from a mentor. If your force doesn't already have a formal membership program, ask about starting one.\\nTry doing something like meeting with your mentor once a month for lunch to talk about how things are going.\\n4-2. Further your education.\\nStudies show that officers that get advanced education become better at their jobs. You could think about getting a degree in an area like criminal justice, if you don't already have one. If you already have a degree, you could also seek an advanced degree, such as a master's, or just take continuing education classes in areas such as:\\nCriminal justice\\nConflict resolution\\nInterpersonal communication\\nCyber security\\nForensic science\\n4-3. Ask for a review if you haven't received one in a while.\\nTalk with your commanding officer about your job performance. What are your strengths? Your weaknesses? What areas should you focus on improving? This kind of feedback is very valuable when trying to become a better police officer.\\nTips\\nLearn from your mistakes and always aim to keep growing as a police officer.[15]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nSaul Jaeger, MSPolice Captain, Mountain View Police Department\\nExpert Interview. 21 February 2020.\\nDon't neglect your physical health and fitness, either. Eat right and get exercise, so you'll be physically ready for your job.\\nMake sure to carry at least one pen with you at all times to write tickets and write down information to use or give others.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a good police officer takes dedication, hard work, and a willingness to always be learning. It's no secret that it's a tough job! If you put serving your community first, you'll be off to a good start. You can also work together with your fellow officers to develop a sense of the shared values and principles you should focus on in your work. Then, you'll have a better idea of the specific skills you would like to develop to meet your goals as an officer.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Building Bridges to Your Community\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get out there and talk to the people in your community.\", \"描述\": \"Talking to people will give you a better sense of what's going on in your community. Spend some time walking the streets in your area. Talk to civilians, just to get to know them and to introduce yourself. When people know the police officers in their community, they'll have a better relationship with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take part in community events.\", \"描述\": \"There are lots of ways for police officers to make a positive impact in their community outside of their regular work. Think of these as opportunities to strengthen ties with the residents of your area, and to help them build trust in their police force. Try things like:\\nRunning a toys for tots drive.\\nHosting “Shop with a Cop” events at holidays and back-to-school times to help children and families who are financially needy.\\nVolunteering to visit schools, community organizations, religious centers, and other locations to meet people and talk about the work that police officers do.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Study the demographics of your community.\", \"描述\": \"To best serve your community, you need to know as much as possible about it. Talking to individuals face-to-face will tell you something about what's important to them, and what they're concerned about. Getting a big-picture view of your community will also help you serve them with sensitivity. Look at census data and other sources to learn things like:\\nWhat is the average age in my community?\\nWhat age range do the majority of people fall into?\\nWhat are the gender, race, and ethnicity breakdowns of the population?\\nWhat is the average household income in the area?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn about biases and how to overcome them.\", \"描述\": \"Serving a diverse community is the reality for police officers. It's important to identify biases that may impact your thinking so that you can overcome them in order to make good judgments in your police work.\\nBiases, when unchecked, can lead to problems like racial profiling. Evidence shows that they can be overcome with proper training.\\nAsk your superiors to host a workshop on diversity to help officers.\\nInvite experts trained in the areas of diversity and biases to come and speak to your force.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be as forthcoming as you can with the media.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, it's necessary to withhold information from the press, especially for ongoing investigations. Appearing unnecessarily secretive, however, will make it harder for people to trust the police force.\\nIf you can give the media the information they request, do so.\\nIf you can't divulge information for any reason, tell them something like “I can't comment on that right now, because the investigation is ongoing. However, I promise to release that information to the public as soon as I am able.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Your Values\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk with your fellow officers about your police culture.\", \"描述\": \"Ask each member of your force to list the five values that are most important to them as officers. Then, share them with each other and discuss them.\\nAsk yourselves: what kind of relationship do these values suggest you have to each other and to your community? Is it an “us versus them” relationship, or do you see yourselves working together with your community?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Come up with a list of official values.\", \"描述\": \"Now's the chance for you and your force to establish what you should aim for as officers. Look at the lists of values and decide which ones are important enough to adopted officially. Then write up the list and share it with your force. Ask questions like:\\nWhat goals do you want to reach in your community?\\nHow do you want the public to perceive your force?\\nHow will you evaluate yourselves to ensure you're doing your job well?\\nHow will officers be reprimanded for not serving well?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Share your list of values with the public.\", \"描述\": \"If you want your community members to trust you and understand the important work officers do, let them know about your values. Ask if the list of official values can be shared on your force's website or social media so that people can be aware. They'll appreciate seeing statements on principles that are recognized as foundational to policing, including:\\nUpholding democracy\\nPreserving human life\\nPreventing and solving crime\\nInvolving the community\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Job-Related Stress\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on developing a sense of compassion for others.\", \"描述\": \"Police work, at its foundation, is about protecting and serving people. To do this well, you have to see through the eyes of others, and try to feel what they do. Having compassion helps you make good decisions, especially in the heat of the moment.\\nFor instance, if you find yourself in the midst of a domestic dispute where one party is agitated, compassion will help you realize that they are not necessarily directing anger at you to be threatening, but simply expressing how upset they are.\\nLikewise, if you learn to recognize signs of mental illness, you can understand when an individual's behavior is caused by a disease rather than criminal intent.\\nIt's easy to become cynical as a police officer, but try to keep a positive mindset and remember that most people respect police officers and value what you're doing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look to conflict resolution rather than the use of force.\", \"描述\": \"There are times when force is necessary to protect citizens or yourself. However, think of the question of whether or not to use force as a matter of human life, not the preservation of law.\\nBefore using force against a person, ask yourself questions like “Is the use of force necessary in this case? Have I done everything I can to protect this person's life without the use of force?”\\nEven if you were required to undergo training in the proper use of force, as your superiors if they can host a refresher course for officers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Seek a work-life balance.\", \"描述\": \"Being a police officer can be extremely stressful. If stress builds up and isn't dealt with properly, it can cause you to make serious mistakes on the job. As an officer, you do not want to harm anyone or just to less than your best because of stress. Make time regularly to relax and take your mind off of work concerns.\\nTry to spend time with friends and family as often as you can.\\nTake a vacation if you have the opportunity.\\nSee a mental health specialist if you feel like stress is impacting your work performance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a mentor.\", \"描述\": \"Having a more experienced officer you can turn to for guidance will make a big difference. You'll gain both moral support and practical knowledge from a mentor. If your force doesn't already have a formal membership program, ask about starting one.\\nTry doing something like meeting with your mentor once a month for lunch to talk about how things are going.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Further your education.\", \"描述\": \"Studies show that officers that get advanced education become better at their jobs. You could think about getting a degree in an area like criminal justice, if you don't already have one. If you already have a degree, you could also seek an advanced degree, such as a master's, or just take continuing education classes in areas such as:\\nCriminal justice\\nConflict resolution\\nInterpersonal communication\\nCyber security\\nForensic science\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for a review if you haven't received one in a while.\", \"描述\": \"Talk with your commanding officer about your job performance. What are your strengths? Your weaknesses? What areas should you focus on improving? This kind of feedback is very valuable when trying to become a better police officer.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Learn from your mistakes and always aim to keep growing as a police officer.[15]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nSaul Jaeger, MSPolice Captain, Mountain View Police Department\\nExpert Interview. 21 February 2020.\\n\", \"Don't neglect your physical health and fitness, either. Eat right and get exercise, so you'll be physically ready for your job.\\n\", \"Make sure to carry at least one pen with you at all times to write tickets and write down information to use or give others.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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4,505 |
How to Be a Good Prefect
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1. Setting a Good Example
1-1. Have a positive attitude
Try not to get frustrated or angry in front of other students. As a role model, you want to show them that optimism and a good attitude are the keys to success, even in difficult situations.
For example, if your fellow students are complaining because the upcoming dance got cancelled, instead of complaining with them, you could say something positive like, "I know it's upsetting that the dance is cancelled, but we should all get together and think of something else we could do for fun that night."
1-2. Be respectful
Whether you're interacting with another student, a teacher, or a member of the school faculty, be respectful. Other students will be looking to you to see what’s acceptable behavior, so set a good example for them. As a prefect, if you’re disrespectful to someone, chances are that other students will think it’s OK to act the same way.
1-3. Do your best in school
Participate in class and hand in your homework on time. If you’re struggling with a subject, talk to your teacher, or get help from a tutor. Other students will notice the effort you’re putting into your schoolwork.
1-4. Be honest
Don’t lie to students or your teachers, and don't make-up excuses. If you forgot to do your homework, tell the truth. Show students that being honest, even when you're afraid of the consequences, is better than lying.
2. Following the Rules
2-1. Abide by your school’s dress code.
If your school has a uniform, make sure you wear it to school every day and it’s clean and wrinkle-free. If your school doesn’t have a uniform, you still want to dress in a clean and respectable manner. Read your school’s official dress code so you can avoid accidentally violating it.
2-2. Have a good attendance record.
Avoid unexcused absences and try to limit the days you miss school for being sick. Not only does missing school look bad on your part, it also prevents you from fulfilling your prefect duties.
2-3. Go to class on time
Other students will notice if you’re frequently coming to class late, so set a good example and arrive to class on time. If you have a genuine reason for being late, make sure you get a note and hand it to your teacher when you arrive to class.
2-4. Be where you’re supposed to be.
Don't hang out in the hallway or leave school grounds when you're supposed to be doing something else. As a prefect you should be available and easy to find if students or faculty need you. If you're attending boarding school, make sure you're in your dormitory when you're supposed to be so that students can come to you if they need anything.
3. Being There for Students
3-1. Be approachable
Smile and say hello to students when you pass them in the halls, and try to be as friendly as possible when you’re talking to them. Avoid things that make you look distracted or busy, like looking down at your phone all the time or always having your face buried in a book.
3-2. Be a good communicator
Communicate with students so you have a better sense of how they’re doing and what kind of help they could benefit from. If a student raises concerns to you, convey those concerns to the faculty. As a prefect you are the bridge between the students and faculty, so make sure you’re communicating with both sides so everyone’s voice is heard.
3-3. Be sensitive to students’ problems.
If a student is having a hard time with their classes or they’re struggling to make friends, support them, and offer to help. Don’t tease students or talk about them negatively with your friends. If a student confides in you, you should never share that information with anyone else, unless it’s something serious that needs to be reported to a faculty member.
3-4. Be fair.
Don’t choose favorites or target those you don’t like among the student body. Set aside your personal opinions so you can treat all students fairly and equally. Let your friends know they shouldn’t expect special treatment from you, and don't be afraid to report your friends for bad behavior.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Setting a Good Example\\n1-1. Have a positive attitude\\nTry not to get frustrated or angry in front of other students. As a role model, you want to show them that optimism and a good attitude are the keys to success, even in difficult situations.\\nFor example, if your fellow students are complaining because the upcoming dance got cancelled, instead of complaining with them, you could say something positive like, \\\"I know it's upsetting that the dance is cancelled, but we should all get together and think of something else we could do for fun that night.\\\"\\n1-2. Be respectful\\nWhether you're interacting with another student, a teacher, or a member of the school faculty, be respectful. Other students will be looking to you to see what’s acceptable behavior, so set a good example for them. As a prefect, if you’re disrespectful to someone, chances are that other students will think it’s OK to act the same way.\\n1-3. Do your best in school\\nParticipate in class and hand in your homework on time. If you’re struggling with a subject, talk to your teacher, or get help from a tutor. Other students will notice the effort you’re putting into your schoolwork.\\n1-4. Be honest\\nDon’t lie to students or your teachers, and don't make-up excuses. If you forgot to do your homework, tell the truth. Show students that being honest, even when you're afraid of the consequences, is better than lying.\\n2. Following the Rules\\n2-1. Abide by your school’s dress code.\\nIf your school has a uniform, make sure you wear it to school every day and it’s clean and wrinkle-free. If your school doesn’t have a uniform, you still want to dress in a clean and respectable manner. Read your school’s official dress code so you can avoid accidentally violating it.\\n2-2. Have a good attendance record.\\nAvoid unexcused absences and try to limit the days you miss school for being sick. Not only does missing school look bad on your part, it also prevents you from fulfilling your prefect duties.\\n2-3. Go to class on time\\nOther students will notice if you’re frequently coming to class late, so set a good example and arrive to class on time. If you have a genuine reason for being late, make sure you get a note and hand it to your teacher when you arrive to class.\\n2-4. Be where you’re supposed to be.\\nDon't hang out in the hallway or leave school grounds when you're supposed to be doing something else. As a prefect you should be available and easy to find if students or faculty need you. If you're attending boarding school, make sure you're in your dormitory when you're supposed to be so that students can come to you if they need anything.\\n3. Being There for Students\\n3-1. Be approachable\\nSmile and say hello to students when you pass them in the halls, and try to be as friendly as possible when you’re talking to them. Avoid things that make you look distracted or busy, like looking down at your phone all the time or always having your face buried in a book.\\n3-2. Be a good communicator\\nCommunicate with students so you have a better sense of how they’re doing and what kind of help they could benefit from. If a student raises concerns to you, convey those concerns to the faculty. As a prefect you are the bridge between the students and faculty, so make sure you’re communicating with both sides so everyone’s voice is heard.\\n3-3. Be sensitive to students’ problems.\\nIf a student is having a hard time with their classes or they’re struggling to make friends, support them, and offer to help. Don’t tease students or talk about them negatively with your friends. If a student confides in you, you should never share that information with anyone else, unless it’s something serious that needs to be reported to a faculty member.\\n3-4. Be fair.\\nDon’t choose favorites or target those you don’t like among the student body. Set aside your personal opinions so you can treat all students fairly and equally. Let your friends know they shouldn’t expect special treatment from you, and don't be afraid to report your friends for bad behavior.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you've applied to be a prefect at your school, or you're already serving as one, you might be wondering how to be the best prefect you can be. To be a good prefect, it's important to remember that your role is to help both the faculty and the students at your school. By setting a good example for students, following your school's rules, and being there when people need you, you can ensure that you're successfully fulfilling all your duties as a prefect.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Setting a Good Example\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a positive attitude\", \"描述\": \"Try not to get frustrated or angry in front of other students. As a role model, you want to show them that optimism and a good attitude are the keys to success, even in difficult situations.\\nFor example, if your fellow students are complaining because the upcoming dance got cancelled, instead of complaining with them, you could say something positive like, \\\"I know it's upsetting that the dance is cancelled, but we should all get together and think of something else we could do for fun that night.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be respectful\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're interacting with another student, a teacher, or a member of the school faculty, be respectful. Other students will be looking to you to see what’s acceptable behavior, so set a good example for them. As a prefect, if you’re disrespectful to someone, chances are that other students will think it’s OK to act the same way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do your best in school\", \"描述\": \"Participate in class and hand in your homework on time. If you’re struggling with a subject, talk to your teacher, or get help from a tutor. Other students will notice the effort you’re putting into your schoolwork.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest\", \"描述\": \"Don’t lie to students or your teachers, and don't make-up excuses. If you forgot to do your homework, tell the truth. Show students that being honest, even when you're afraid of the consequences, is better than lying.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Following the Rules\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Abide by your school’s dress code.\", \"描述\": \"If your school has a uniform, make sure you wear it to school every day and it’s clean and wrinkle-free. If your school doesn’t have a uniform, you still want to dress in a clean and respectable manner. Read your school’s official dress code so you can avoid accidentally violating it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a good attendance record.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid unexcused absences and try to limit the days you miss school for being sick. Not only does missing school look bad on your part, it also prevents you from fulfilling your prefect duties.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go to class on time\", \"描述\": \"Other students will notice if you’re frequently coming to class late, so set a good example and arrive to class on time. If you have a genuine reason for being late, make sure you get a note and hand it to your teacher when you arrive to class.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be where you’re supposed to be.\", \"描述\": \"Don't hang out in the hallway or leave school grounds when you're supposed to be doing something else. As a prefect you should be available and easy to find if students or faculty need you. If you're attending boarding school, make sure you're in your dormitory when you're supposed to be so that students can come to you if they need anything.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being There for Students\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be approachable\", \"描述\": \"Smile and say hello to students when you pass them in the halls, and try to be as friendly as possible when you’re talking to them. Avoid things that make you look distracted or busy, like looking down at your phone all the time or always having your face buried in a book.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be a good communicator\", \"描述\": \"Communicate with students so you have a better sense of how they’re doing and what kind of help they could benefit from. If a student raises concerns to you, convey those concerns to the faculty. As a prefect you are the bridge between the students and faculty, so make sure you’re communicating with both sides so everyone’s voice is heard.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be sensitive to students’ problems.\", \"描述\": \"If a student is having a hard time with their classes or they’re struggling to make friends, support them, and offer to help. Don’t tease students or talk about them negatively with your friends. If a student confides in you, you should never share that information with anyone else, unless it’s something serious that needs to be reported to a faculty member.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be fair.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t choose favorites or target those you don’t like among the student body. Set aside your personal opinions so you can treat all students fairly and equally. Let your friends know they shouldn’t expect special treatment from you, and don't be afraid to report your friends for bad behavior.\"}]}]}}",
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4,506 |
How to Be a Good Prom Date (for Guys)
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1. Preparing
1-1. Help her make plans.
Prom is not just about the dance itself. The prom experience includes transportation, pictures, dinner, the after party, and more. Offer your assistance with the planning process to not only share ideas, but also to show you care.
Discuss whether you will be attending prom with a group or whether you two will be attending alone. Coordinating plans with a larger group requires more time and effort.
Decide the best time for pictures and dinner, and what time you plan to arrive at and leave from prom.
1-2. Plan your transportation.
Decide whether you will be renting a limousine or whether you will be picking up your date in your vehicle. While you may be in love with your vehicle, your date may prefer a more romantic gesture like a limo (which can be quite pricey).
If you decide to drive your vehicle, be sure to put gas in the vehicle the day before to avoid running late.
Make sure you car is clear of clutter and both the interior and exterior are cleaned.
If you will be renting a limo, be aware that they are usually booked by the hour and most companies have a minimum number of hours for which you must reserve the vehicle.
Whatever form of transportation, make sure you exit the vehicle to retrieve your date and always hold the door for her or allow her to enter first.
1-3. Dress to impress.
Girls usually put a lot of time and thought into their outfit and they expect their dates to look just as great as they do. Because prom is usually a black tie affair, be sure to dress formally and to be well groomed for the occasion.
Wear a nice suit or tuxedo to make sure your dress is formal enough for the occasion.
Find out what color your date is wearing so you can coordinate small details like socks, ties, and pocket squares.
Pay close attention to your hygiene that night including showering, shaving, getting a fresh haircut, and using cologne (sparingly).
Looking clean and fresh will help you feel more confident around your date.
1-4. Bring a corsage.
Corsages are small bouquets of flowers that are presented to your date as a sign of respect. Traditionally, they are worn on the left shoulder or left wrist if the dress is strapless or spaghetti strap.
A boutonniere is a similar (but smaller) version of the flower bouquet that is pinned to the male's suit. It is customary for the female to present the boutonniere to the male and it usually matches the corsage (but it is not necessary).
You should try to coordinate the corsage with your date's gown or choose neutral colors such as peach, white, or pink.
Many different flowers can be used depending on style and budget including roses, lilies, carnations, and orchids.
Because prom season is a peak season for florists, you should order your date's corsage 1-2 weeks in advance to ensure the florist has enough time to create the custom bouquet. Although you order in advance, you should try to pick your order up no sooner than the day before prom.
You can also make the corsage the day before prom. Keep the flowers looking fresh by spritzing with water, keeping it in the container, refrigerating it, and using a sealant which can be found at any flower shop.
1-5. Be on time.
Because there are so many stops to make on prom night, being prompt is incredibly important. Aside from that, nothing makes a worse first impression on a girl (and her parents) than being late.
Have an itinerary or a plan of action. Know your schedule ahead of time so you know exactly what time you have to leave one spot in order to arrive at your next destination on time.
If you know you are chronically late, determine what is making you late (enjoy the rush, easily distracted, trying to get too much done?) By doing this, you can be more realistic with time and learn how to overcome your chronic tardiness.
Don't plan to leave on time. Plan to leave early so you leave some wiggle room for the unexpected.
1-6. Plan for post-prom activities.
The actual prom dance only lasts anywhere from 2-4 hours so many people choose to have post-prom activities to keep the fun rolling. Discuss possible plans with your date so you can plan accordingly. (Will you have to take the limo back? Will you need a change of clothes? Will you need an overnight bag?)
In an effort to keep students safe, many schools will host a post-prom activity at a local entertainment center like a bowling alley or skating rink. Be sure to know how long the event lasts, if there is an entry cost, and how you will arrive.
Cruise around. If you have a limo, this is a perfect way to burn off the extra hours of paid time you may have remaining. Drive to spots in your city or town where you've never been or spots that are known to be romantic in nature.
Attend a house party. Naturally, there will be a few post-prom parties thrown by students. Before planning to attend, be sure to respect your date's rules and curfew, and make sure you aren't putting her in any dangerous situations.
2. Being Gentlemanly
2-1. Practice good chivalry
Chivalry is known as a code of ethics for how men treat women.. The best way to describe it is to be courteous, respectful and helpful to your date. Open doors for her, pull our her chair, if she is cold give her your jacket. In general, put her needs first and she will be happy.
Chivalry doesn't always fit in with modern dating methods. So be sure to tune into your date's responses to your actions to ensure you aren't going overboard with the niceties.
Avoid some of the outdated modes of generosity such as ordering for your date, standing each time she enters/exits the room, or defending her honor. Be polite but know that she's a modern day gal who isn't helpless.
2-2. Compliment her.
Sincere compliments not only break the ice, but they can also help to build bonds of trust and to make the mood cheerful and jolly. When complimenting your date, be unique instead of using generalities, and avoid making crude or overtly sexual compliments--especially if you're complimenting her appearance.
Be unique. Instead of saying, "You have a nice smile" find a unique feature that draws you in such as, "I love that freckle on your neck. It's pretty cute."
Avoid compliments about touchy subjects like weight. Even though "You look skinny in that dress" seems like it would be a compliment, many girls may take it the wrong way.
Every girl loves to be complimented on their appearance, but avoid cheesy phrases like "hot" or "smoking". Instead, stick with classics like, beautiful, stunning or gorgeous.
Don't just compliment her looks, compliment her personality too by saying something like, "You can always make me laugh," or "I can talk to you about anything."
2-3. Talk to her parents.
Although it may be an uncomfortably nervous situation, talking to your date's parents in a respectful manner shows a level of maturity that they will appreciate. If you can engage her parents in thoughtful conversation, your date will be more likely to relax and feel comfortable in your care for the evening.
Show that you have good manners by saying "please" and "thank you" and referring to your date's parents as Mr. or Mrs.
Engage them in conversation. Respond by answering with more than a simple 'yes' or 'no'. Show that you are interested in getting to know them.
Give them your attention. Avoid being rude by flipping through your cellphone or watching the television during conversation.
2-4. Respect her.
When a man shows that he admires a woman for more than just her looks, she tends to return the same respect in return. By showing your date that you value the qualities and abilities that make her who she is, you create the atmosphere needed to have a magical night.
Talk to her in a courteous manner. Avoid cursing, telling dirty jokes, putting her down or making sexual remarks about her body.
Avoid pressuring her. Never make a woman feel forced to do anything she is not sure she wants to do including drinking alcohol, having sex, or going places she doesn't care to go.
3. Treating Her Well
3-1. Don't be afraid to dance with her.
Most girls really don't care if you're good or not, they just want someone to have fun with. Whether you're slow dancing or dancing to an upbeat song, try swaying or stepping left to right to the rhythm, and try not to be too stiff.
For slow dancing, place your right hand on her left hip or on the small of her back and offer her your left hand at about shoulder level. As the leader, you can choose to either sway side to side or choose a "step touch" motion that follows the smooth beat of the music.
If hand placements make you nervous during slow dancing, you can choose the "hug dance" instead. The male simply places both hands on his date's hips while her hands go about his neck. Foot movements should be kept the same.
If you're nervous about moving to the beat of fast-paced songs, just remember to move to the beat. Shuffle your feet or step from side to side, relax your upper body so you can move your shoulders and head, and throw some arms into the mix too.
Keep it clean and avoid dirty dancing. Remember to respect your date.
If all else fails, dancing in groups is not only fun but it takes the pressure off of you. Popular group dances with choreographed moves like the "Cupid Shuffle" or "Copperhead Road" are always great fun for shy dancers.
3-2. Spend time with her friends.
Remember that prom night isn't meant to be completely about romance. It's better to have several friends with you, aside from just your significant other. If you don't share the same group of friends, be sure to spend ample time with each group of friends, and not just your own.
Even though your date may be head over heels into you, that doesn't mean that she doesn't want to share this magical night with her girl friends too. Remember to not monopolize her time or to get jealous when she chooses to dance with the girls and not you.
Not everyone goes to prom with a date. Remember that it's okay to share your date with her dateless friends.
Remember, to be flexible. If you opted to go to dinner with her friends, remember you will still see your buddies at prom or even after prom. You should both be willing to split your time evenly.
3-3. Show her affection.
Affection is act of showing someone you really care through small gestures that make them feel wanted and appreciated. It can be something as simple as holding her hand, hugging her unexpectedly, or even just smiling at her.
When showing romantic affection (slow-dancing, kissing, etc.), make sure that the two of you are alone to make the moment special.
Sometimes less is more when it comes to public displays of affection (PDA). Hand holding, hands around the waist, and closed-mouth kisses are fine in moderation.
Avoid open-mouthed make out sessions, touching in private areas, licking or biting, and groping.
3-4. Show her attention.
By paying attention to your date, your let her know that she's your #1 priority. Put the phone away, listen to what she says, laugh at her jokes, and don't get sidetracked by other friends (or worse, other girls). Let her know that you enjoy her company by showing her that she is interesting and important.
Eye contact is important when showing interest in a person. During conversation, make sure you are face-to-face and not looking at the dance floor, or your cellphone (even if you're nervous).
Listen more than you speak. When you listen and take an interest in what your date is saying, you won't have to fish for something to talk about; the conversation will naturally evolve and you'll find yourself jumping in at the right time.
Tips
Have the details worked out ahead of time. If you're driving, gas the car the day before, not on the way to pick her up. Make sure your tux has all its parts.
Decide before hand what you'll do. Are you going to put your arm around her (girls love that) or offer her your jacket when she's standing outside (girls love that even more) Or are you going to kiss her?
Make your decisions based on how well you know each other and what you think she'd like for you to do.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing\\n1-1. Help her make plans.\\nProm is not just about the dance itself. The prom experience includes transportation, pictures, dinner, the after party, and more. Offer your assistance with the planning process to not only share ideas, but also to show you care.\\nDiscuss whether you will be attending prom with a group or whether you two will be attending alone. Coordinating plans with a larger group requires more time and effort.\\nDecide the best time for pictures and dinner, and what time you plan to arrive at and leave from prom.\\n1-2. Plan your transportation.\\nDecide whether you will be renting a limousine or whether you will be picking up your date in your vehicle. While you may be in love with your vehicle, your date may prefer a more romantic gesture like a limo (which can be quite pricey).\\nIf you decide to drive your vehicle, be sure to put gas in the vehicle the day before to avoid running late.\\nMake sure you car is clear of clutter and both the interior and exterior are cleaned.\\nIf you will be renting a limo, be aware that they are usually booked by the hour and most companies have a minimum number of hours for which you must reserve the vehicle.\\nWhatever form of transportation, make sure you exit the vehicle to retrieve your date and always hold the door for her or allow her to enter first.\\n1-3. Dress to impress.\\nGirls usually put a lot of time and thought into their outfit and they expect their dates to look just as great as they do. Because prom is usually a black tie affair, be sure to dress formally and to be well groomed for the occasion.\\nWear a nice suit or tuxedo to make sure your dress is formal enough for the occasion.\\nFind out what color your date is wearing so you can coordinate small details like socks, ties, and pocket squares.\\nPay close attention to your hygiene that night including showering, shaving, getting a fresh haircut, and using cologne (sparingly).\\nLooking clean and fresh will help you feel more confident around your date.\\n1-4. Bring a corsage.\\nCorsages are small bouquets of flowers that are presented to your date as a sign of respect. Traditionally, they are worn on the left shoulder or left wrist if the dress is strapless or spaghetti strap. \\nA boutonniere is a similar (but smaller) version of the flower bouquet that is pinned to the male's suit. It is customary for the female to present the boutonniere to the male and it usually matches the corsage (but it is not necessary).\\nYou should try to coordinate the corsage with your date's gown or choose neutral colors such as peach, white, or pink.\\nMany different flowers can be used depending on style and budget including roses, lilies, carnations, and orchids.\\nBecause prom season is a peak season for florists, you should order your date's corsage 1-2 weeks in advance to ensure the florist has enough time to create the custom bouquet. Although you order in advance, you should try to pick your order up no sooner than the day before prom.\\nYou can also make the corsage the day before prom. Keep the flowers looking fresh by spritzing with water, keeping it in the container, refrigerating it, and using a sealant which can be found at any flower shop.\\n1-5. Be on time.\\nBecause there are so many stops to make on prom night, being prompt is incredibly important. Aside from that, nothing makes a worse first impression on a girl (and her parents) than being late.\\nHave an itinerary or a plan of action. Know your schedule ahead of time so you know exactly what time you have to leave one spot in order to arrive at your next destination on time.\\nIf you know you are chronically late, determine what is making you late (enjoy the rush, easily distracted, trying to get too much done?) By doing this, you can be more realistic with time and learn how to overcome your chronic tardiness.\\nDon't plan to leave on time. Plan to leave early so you leave some wiggle room for the unexpected.\\n1-6. Plan for post-prom activities.\\nThe actual prom dance only lasts anywhere from 2-4 hours so many people choose to have post-prom activities to keep the fun rolling. Discuss possible plans with your date so you can plan accordingly. (Will you have to take the limo back? Will you need a change of clothes? Will you need an overnight bag?)\\nIn an effort to keep students safe, many schools will host a post-prom activity at a local entertainment center like a bowling alley or skating rink. Be sure to know how long the event lasts, if there is an entry cost, and how you will arrive.\\nCruise around. If you have a limo, this is a perfect way to burn off the extra hours of paid time you may have remaining. Drive to spots in your city or town where you've never been or spots that are known to be romantic in nature.\\nAttend a house party. Naturally, there will be a few post-prom parties thrown by students. Before planning to attend, be sure to respect your date's rules and curfew, and make sure you aren't putting her in any dangerous situations.\\n2. Being Gentlemanly\\n2-1. Practice good chivalry\\nChivalry is known as a code of ethics for how men treat women.. The best way to describe it is to be courteous, respectful and helpful to your date. Open doors for her, pull our her chair, if she is cold give her your jacket. In general, put her needs first and she will be happy.\\nChivalry doesn't always fit in with modern dating methods. So be sure to tune into your date's responses to your actions to ensure you aren't going overboard with the niceties.\\nAvoid some of the outdated modes of generosity such as ordering for your date, standing each time she enters/exits the room, or defending her honor. Be polite but know that she's a modern day gal who isn't helpless.\\n2-2. Compliment her.\\nSincere compliments not only break the ice, but they can also help to build bonds of trust and to make the mood cheerful and jolly. When complimenting your date, be unique instead of using generalities, and avoid making crude or overtly sexual compliments--especially if you're complimenting her appearance. \\nBe unique. Instead of saying, \\\"You have a nice smile\\\" find a unique feature that draws you in such as, \\\"I love that freckle on your neck. It's pretty cute.\\\"\\nAvoid compliments about touchy subjects like weight. Even though \\\"You look skinny in that dress\\\" seems like it would be a compliment, many girls may take it the wrong way.\\nEvery girl loves to be complimented on their appearance, but avoid cheesy phrases like \\\"hot\\\" or \\\"smoking\\\". Instead, stick with classics like, beautiful, stunning or gorgeous.\\nDon't just compliment her looks, compliment her personality too by saying something like, \\\"You can always make me laugh,\\\" or \\\"I can talk to you about anything.\\\"\\n2-3. Talk to her parents.\\nAlthough it may be an uncomfortably nervous situation, talking to your date's parents in a respectful manner shows a level of maturity that they will appreciate. If you can engage her parents in thoughtful conversation, your date will be more likely to relax and feel comfortable in your care for the evening.\\nShow that you have good manners by saying \\\"please\\\" and \\\"thank you\\\" and referring to your date's parents as Mr. or Mrs.\\nEngage them in conversation. Respond by answering with more than a simple 'yes' or 'no'. Show that you are interested in getting to know them.\\nGive them your attention. Avoid being rude by flipping through your cellphone or watching the television during conversation.\\n2-4. Respect her.\\nWhen a man shows that he admires a woman for more than just her looks, she tends to return the same respect in return. By showing your date that you value the qualities and abilities that make her who she is, you create the atmosphere needed to have a magical night.\\nTalk to her in a courteous manner. Avoid cursing, telling dirty jokes, putting her down or making sexual remarks about her body.\\nAvoid pressuring her. Never make a woman feel forced to do anything she is not sure she wants to do including drinking alcohol, having sex, or going places she doesn't care to go.\\n3. Treating Her Well\\n3-1. Don't be afraid to dance with her.\\nMost girls really don't care if you're good or not, they just want someone to have fun with. Whether you're slow dancing or dancing to an upbeat song, try swaying or stepping left to right to the rhythm, and try not to be too stiff. \\nFor slow dancing, place your right hand on her left hip or on the small of her back and offer her your left hand at about shoulder level. As the leader, you can choose to either sway side to side or choose a \\\"step touch\\\" motion that follows the smooth beat of the music.\\nIf hand placements make you nervous during slow dancing, you can choose the \\\"hug dance\\\" instead. The male simply places both hands on his date's hips while her hands go about his neck. Foot movements should be kept the same.\\nIf you're nervous about moving to the beat of fast-paced songs, just remember to move to the beat. Shuffle your feet or step from side to side, relax your upper body so you can move your shoulders and head, and throw some arms into the mix too.\\nKeep it clean and avoid dirty dancing. Remember to respect your date.\\nIf all else fails, dancing in groups is not only fun but it takes the pressure off of you. Popular group dances with choreographed moves like the \\\"Cupid Shuffle\\\" or \\\"Copperhead Road\\\" are always great fun for shy dancers.\\n3-2. Spend time with her friends.\\nRemember that prom night isn't meant to be completely about romance. It's better to have several friends with you, aside from just your significant other. If you don't share the same group of friends, be sure to spend ample time with each group of friends, and not just your own.\\nEven though your date may be head over heels into you, that doesn't mean that she doesn't want to share this magical night with her girl friends too. Remember to not monopolize her time or to get jealous when she chooses to dance with the girls and not you.\\nNot everyone goes to prom with a date. Remember that it's okay to share your date with her dateless friends.\\nRemember, to be flexible. If you opted to go to dinner with her friends, remember you will still see your buddies at prom or even after prom. You should both be willing to split your time evenly.\\n3-3. Show her affection.\\nAffection is act of showing someone you really care through small gestures that make them feel wanted and appreciated. It can be something as simple as holding her hand, hugging her unexpectedly, or even just smiling at her.\\nWhen showing romantic affection (slow-dancing, kissing, etc.), make sure that the two of you are alone to make the moment special.\\nSometimes less is more when it comes to public displays of affection (PDA). Hand holding, hands around the waist, and closed-mouth kisses are fine in moderation.\\nAvoid open-mouthed make out sessions, touching in private areas, licking or biting, and groping.\\n3-4. Show her attention.\\nBy paying attention to your date, your let her know that she's your #1 priority. Put the phone away, listen to what she says, laugh at her jokes, and don't get sidetracked by other friends (or worse, other girls). Let her know that you enjoy her company by showing her that she is interesting and important.\\nEye contact is important when showing interest in a person. During conversation, make sure you are face-to-face and not looking at the dance floor, or your cellphone (even if you're nervous).\\nListen more than you speak. When you listen and take an interest in what your date is saying, you won't have to fish for something to talk about; the conversation will naturally evolve and you'll find yourself jumping in at the right time.\\nTips\\nHave the details worked out ahead of time. If you're driving, gas the car the day before, not on the way to pick her up. Make sure your tux has all its parts.\\nDecide before hand what you'll do. Are you going to put your arm around her (girls love that) or offer her your jacket when she's standing outside (girls love that even more) Or are you going to kiss her?\\nMake your decisions based on how well you know each other and what you think she'd like for you to do.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Prom can either be a magical or a monstrous experience. Let's say you finally have your dream date to make the night memorable, but what next? Ensure you show your lady a great time by following these tips on how to be a good prom date.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Help her make plans.\", \"描述\": \"Prom is not just about the dance itself. The prom experience includes transportation, pictures, dinner, the after party, and more. Offer your assistance with the planning process to not only share ideas, but also to show you care.\\nDiscuss whether you will be attending prom with a group or whether you two will be attending alone. Coordinating plans with a larger group requires more time and effort.\\nDecide the best time for pictures and dinner, and what time you plan to arrive at and leave from prom.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan your transportation.\", \"描述\": \"Decide whether you will be renting a limousine or whether you will be picking up your date in your vehicle. While you may be in love with your vehicle, your date may prefer a more romantic gesture like a limo (which can be quite pricey).\\nIf you decide to drive your vehicle, be sure to put gas in the vehicle the day before to avoid running late.\\nMake sure you car is clear of clutter and both the interior and exterior are cleaned.\\nIf you will be renting a limo, be aware that they are usually booked by the hour and most companies have a minimum number of hours for which you must reserve the vehicle.\\nWhatever form of transportation, make sure you exit the vehicle to retrieve your date and always hold the door for her or allow her to enter first.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress to impress.\", \"描述\": \"Girls usually put a lot of time and thought into their outfit and they expect their dates to look just as great as they do. Because prom is usually a black tie affair, be sure to dress formally and to be well groomed for the occasion.\\nWear a nice suit or tuxedo to make sure your dress is formal enough for the occasion.\\nFind out what color your date is wearing so you can coordinate small details like socks, ties, and pocket squares.\\nPay close attention to your hygiene that night including showering, shaving, getting a fresh haircut, and using cologne (sparingly).\\nLooking clean and fresh will help you feel more confident around your date.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring a corsage.\", \"描述\": \"Corsages are small bouquets of flowers that are presented to your date as a sign of respect. Traditionally, they are worn on the left shoulder or left wrist if the dress is strapless or spaghetti strap. \\nA boutonniere is a similar (but smaller) version of the flower bouquet that is pinned to the male's suit. It is customary for the female to present the boutonniere to the male and it usually matches the corsage (but it is not necessary).\\nYou should try to coordinate the corsage with your date's gown or choose neutral colors such as peach, white, or pink.\\nMany different flowers can be used depending on style and budget including roses, lilies, carnations, and orchids.\\nBecause prom season is a peak season for florists, you should order your date's corsage 1-2 weeks in advance to ensure the florist has enough time to create the custom bouquet. Although you order in advance, you should try to pick your order up no sooner than the day before prom.\\nYou can also make the corsage the day before prom. Keep the flowers looking fresh by spritzing with water, keeping it in the container, refrigerating it, and using a sealant which can be found at any flower shop.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be on time.\", \"描述\": \"Because there are so many stops to make on prom night, being prompt is incredibly important. Aside from that, nothing makes a worse first impression on a girl (and her parents) than being late.\\nHave an itinerary or a plan of action. Know your schedule ahead of time so you know exactly what time you have to leave one spot in order to arrive at your next destination on time.\\nIf you know you are chronically late, determine what is making you late (enjoy the rush, easily distracted, trying to get too much done?) By doing this, you can be more realistic with time and learn how to overcome your chronic tardiness.\\nDon't plan to leave on time. Plan to leave early so you leave some wiggle room for the unexpected.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Plan for post-prom activities.\", \"描述\": \"The actual prom dance only lasts anywhere from 2-4 hours so many people choose to have post-prom activities to keep the fun rolling. Discuss possible plans with your date so you can plan accordingly. (Will you have to take the limo back? Will you need a change of clothes? Will you need an overnight bag?)\\nIn an effort to keep students safe, many schools will host a post-prom activity at a local entertainment center like a bowling alley or skating rink. Be sure to know how long the event lasts, if there is an entry cost, and how you will arrive.\\nCruise around. If you have a limo, this is a perfect way to burn off the extra hours of paid time you may have remaining. Drive to spots in your city or town where you've never been or spots that are known to be romantic in nature.\\nAttend a house party. Naturally, there will be a few post-prom parties thrown by students. Before planning to attend, be sure to respect your date's rules and curfew, and make sure you aren't putting her in any dangerous situations.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Gentlemanly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice good chivalry\", \"描述\": \"Chivalry is known as a code of ethics for how men treat women.. The best way to describe it is to be courteous, respectful and helpful to your date. Open doors for her, pull our her chair, if she is cold give her your jacket. In general, put her needs first and she will be happy.\\nChivalry doesn't always fit in with modern dating methods. So be sure to tune into your date's responses to your actions to ensure you aren't going overboard with the niceties.\\nAvoid some of the outdated modes of generosity such as ordering for your date, standing each time she enters/exits the room, or defending her honor. Be polite but know that she's a modern day gal who isn't helpless.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment her.\", \"描述\": \"Sincere compliments not only break the ice, but they can also help to build bonds of trust and to make the mood cheerful and jolly. When complimenting your date, be unique instead of using generalities, and avoid making crude or overtly sexual compliments--especially if you're complimenting her appearance. \\nBe unique. Instead of saying, \\\"You have a nice smile\\\" find a unique feature that draws you in such as, \\\"I love that freckle on your neck. It's pretty cute.\\\"\\nAvoid compliments about touchy subjects like weight. Even though \\\"You look skinny in that dress\\\" seems like it would be a compliment, many girls may take it the wrong way.\\nEvery girl loves to be complimented on their appearance, but avoid cheesy phrases like \\\"hot\\\" or \\\"smoking\\\". Instead, stick with classics like, beautiful, stunning or gorgeous.\\nDon't just compliment her looks, compliment her personality too by saying something like, \\\"You can always make me laugh,\\\" or \\\"I can talk to you about anything.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to her parents.\", \"描述\": \"Although it may be an uncomfortably nervous situation, talking to your date's parents in a respectful manner shows a level of maturity that they will appreciate. If you can engage her parents in thoughtful conversation, your date will be more likely to relax and feel comfortable in your care for the evening.\\nShow that you have good manners by saying \\\"please\\\" and \\\"thank you\\\" and referring to your date's parents as Mr. or Mrs.\\nEngage them in conversation. Respond by answering with more than a simple 'yes' or 'no'. Show that you are interested in getting to know them.\\nGive them your attention. Avoid being rude by flipping through your cellphone or watching the television during conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respect her.\", \"描述\": \"When a man shows that he admires a woman for more than just her looks, she tends to return the same respect in return. By showing your date that you value the qualities and abilities that make her who she is, you create the atmosphere needed to have a magical night.\\nTalk to her in a courteous manner. Avoid cursing, telling dirty jokes, putting her down or making sexual remarks about her body.\\nAvoid pressuring her. Never make a woman feel forced to do anything she is not sure she wants to do including drinking alcohol, having sex, or going places she doesn't care to go.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Treating Her Well\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to dance with her.\", \"描述\": \"Most girls really don't care if you're good or not, they just want someone to have fun with. Whether you're slow dancing or dancing to an upbeat song, try swaying or stepping left to right to the rhythm, and try not to be too stiff. \\nFor slow dancing, place your right hand on her left hip or on the small of her back and offer her your left hand at about shoulder level. As the leader, you can choose to either sway side to side or choose a \\\"step touch\\\" motion that follows the smooth beat of the music.\\nIf hand placements make you nervous during slow dancing, you can choose the \\\"hug dance\\\" instead. The male simply places both hands on his date's hips while her hands go about his neck. Foot movements should be kept the same.\\nIf you're nervous about moving to the beat of fast-paced songs, just remember to move to the beat. Shuffle your feet or step from side to side, relax your upper body so you can move your shoulders and head, and throw some arms into the mix too.\\nKeep it clean and avoid dirty dancing. Remember to respect your date.\\nIf all else fails, dancing in groups is not only fun but it takes the pressure off of you. Popular group dances with choreographed moves like the \\\"Cupid Shuffle\\\" or \\\"Copperhead Road\\\" are always great fun for shy dancers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time with her friends.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that prom night isn't meant to be completely about romance. It's better to have several friends with you, aside from just your significant other. If you don't share the same group of friends, be sure to spend ample time with each group of friends, and not just your own.\\nEven though your date may be head over heels into you, that doesn't mean that she doesn't want to share this magical night with her girl friends too. Remember to not monopolize her time or to get jealous when she chooses to dance with the girls and not you.\\nNot everyone goes to prom with a date. Remember that it's okay to share your date with her dateless friends.\\nRemember, to be flexible. If you opted to go to dinner with her friends, remember you will still see your buddies at prom or even after prom. You should both be willing to split your time evenly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show her affection.\", \"描述\": \"Affection is act of showing someone you really care through small gestures that make them feel wanted and appreciated. It can be something as simple as holding her hand, hugging her unexpectedly, or even just smiling at her.\\nWhen showing romantic affection (slow-dancing, kissing, etc.), make sure that the two of you are alone to make the moment special.\\nSometimes less is more when it comes to public displays of affection (PDA). Hand holding, hands around the waist, and closed-mouth kisses are fine in moderation.\\nAvoid open-mouthed make out sessions, touching in private areas, licking or biting, and groping.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show her attention.\", \"描述\": \"By paying attention to your date, your let her know that she's your #1 priority. Put the phone away, listen to what she says, laugh at her jokes, and don't get sidetracked by other friends (or worse, other girls). Let her know that you enjoy her company by showing her that she is interesting and important.\\nEye contact is important when showing interest in a person. During conversation, make sure you are face-to-face and not looking at the dance floor, or your cellphone (even if you're nervous).\\nListen more than you speak. When you listen and take an interest in what your date is saying, you won't have to fish for something to talk about; the conversation will naturally evolve and you'll find yourself jumping in at the right time.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Have the details worked out ahead of time. If you're driving, gas the car the day before, not on the way to pick her up. Make sure your tux has all its parts.\\n\", \"Decide before hand what you'll do. Are you going to put your arm around her (girls love that) or offer her your jacket when she's standing outside (girls love that even more) Or are you going to kiss her?\\n\", \"Make your decisions based on how well you know each other and what you think she'd like for you to do.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,507 |
How to Be a Good Reader
|
1. Improving Your Reading Skills
1-1. Start at a comfortable reading level.
You can advance to more difficult reading materials from there. If you attempt to read material that is too challenging initially you are more likely to become discouraged. While challenging yourself to read at a more advanced level is a wonderful goal, studies have shown that if you allow yourself to become discouraged while reading you will be less likely to achieve that goal in the long run.
Skim the first few pages. If you have trouble understanding what the author is trying to say, you may not enjoy the book.
If you have chosen a book with a very narrow focus, like a scientific work or a specific historical treatise, you might want to instead familiarize yourself with books on more general topics first.
Use the five finger rule. Pick a book, and read the first two or three pages. Put one finger up for every word you can't pronounce or don't know the meaning of. If you've put up 5 or more fingers, the book is probably too hard. Educators have been using this method for years, and it can be applied for children as well as adults.
1-2. Expand your vocabulary
Building a greater vocabulary will make reading easier and more fun in the future. The more words you are exposed to, the more your vocabulary will grow.
If you don't understand a word, first try to use context clues to figure out what it means. Frequently, the rest of the words in a sentence will offer hints about what a particular word means.
Look up words in the dictionary that you do not recognize or understand. Write down these words to review later to solidify them in your memory and make them a part of your vocabulary. Keep of a collection of these words for your own reference.
Use new words you learn in your everyday speech. Putting words into action in your everyday life will ensure that you remember them.
1-3. Practice, practice, practice.
Studies have shown that people who spend more time reading, and take in a greater volume of reading material, develop a more extensive vocabulary and greater reading comprehension. This improves their ability to take in knowledge more generally.
As with anything else, developing reading skills takes work. Set aside time to read every day. Literacy experts disagree about exactly how much time you should devote to reading, given that it varies according to age, skill level, and ability. A good rule to remember, however, is consistency. Try to read every day. If you need to take frequent breaks while reading, go ahead. Even while practicing, reading should be an enjoyable experience.
Take a book with you on a morning bus or train commute, or read on your lunch break. Having access to reading materials during moments of down time makes it more likely that you will read regularly.
Read the words out loud. Reading out loud, alone or to someone, can improve how you read and spell. However, don’t force a nervous reader to read aloud, especially in a group setting. Fear of shame and humiliation can make some unsure readers dread the experience.
Visualize the story, pay attention to the introduction of characters and places. Try to see each in your mind. "Seeing" the story will make it more real to you and easier to remember.
2. Making Reading Fun
2-1. Read materials that interest you.
You are much more likely to commit to reading when it is an enjoyable and engaging experience. If you are bored while reading, you are more likely to put the book down and engage in a different activity.
Find books related to your hobbies, career goals, or a topic that piques your curiosity. There are books that cover every topic imaginable, and the availability of local libraries, bookstores, and the Internet means that all of them are at your fingertips.
Don't limit yourself to just monographs. Comic books and graphic novels are a great way to get children and young adults hooked on reading. Collections of short stories are a good option for those who don't want to commit to reading a longer work.
Read magazines that cover your areas of interest. Whether your interests are in motorcycle maintenance, gardening, bird watching, or 19th-century architecture, there is a magazine that caters to you. Many of these contain lengthy, well-sourced articles.
2-2. Create a pleasant reading environment.
The more you associate reading with comfort and relaxation the more likely you are to continue developing your reading skills. Reading can become a treat, rather than a chore.
Find a quiet place to read so that you aren’t disturbed. Avoid distractions like TV or the radio, or other people prone to disturbing you. Make sure it is somewhere with good lighting where you can relax. Hold the book about 15 inches away from your face (approximately the distance from your elbow to your wrist).
Make a cozy and fun reading area. A nicely lit corner with comfortable pillows creates a great ambiance for reading.
If you are helping someone read, stay positive! Negative feedback will only discourage a fledgling reader, so keep the environment upbeat.
2-3. Make reading a social experience.
Reading doesn't have to be a solitary pursuit, and can be even more enjoyable when shared with others.
Start a book club with friends. Making reading a social experience can inspire you to continue to improve. Friends can also provide encouragement for each other.
Start an online blog reviewing the latest books you have read. Encourage others to dialogue about their opinions of the work.
Go to a coffee shop or cafe readers frequent. Seeing others reading can inspire you, or expose you to interesting titles. Strike up a conversation with a fellow patron about what they have been reading.
Consider taking a class at your local college, community college, or community center. You can learn a new skill, study a topic that interests you, and practice your reading skills at the same time.
Read interesting passages to family or friends. You might encourage them to improve their reading as well.
2-4. Make reading a family affair.
If you can establish reading as a regular and normal activity in your household, all members of your family will be encouraged to be better readers. It will also allow you to practice your reading skills.
Parents can help their children be good readers by reading to them when they are young. Reading to children helps them develop language and listening skills, which prepares them to understand the written word.
Keep books handy in your household and keep age-appropriate books accessible to children to peruse on their own. Even if a child cannot read on their own yet, establishing initial skills for reading—such as how to correctly hold a book and turn the pages—is an important step to becoming a reader.
Family reading time can provide a moment to bond with your children. Life can be very hectic, and it is often difficult to set aside quality time with your family. Try to schedule a moment to read with your children everyday as part of your routine.
Be patient if your child begins to favor one book and wants to read it over and over again. A favorite story could be offering your child comfort or appealing to a particular interest they have at the moment. Also, re-reading the same words and sentences repeatedly helps your child begin to recognize words by sight.
3. Accessing Reading Materials
3-1. Visit your local library.
Public libraries offer free and unlimited access to remarkable collections of reading materials and other types of media and technology. Getting a library card is easy and usually just requires a photo ID, although some libraries may also require proof that you live in the area, such as a utility bill.
Libraries are wonderful places to find a variety of books and librarians are there to help. Trained in how to most effectively help you make the most of your library experience, librarians are a resource you should not overlook. Ask the librarian for suggestions for books on a specific topic, or a more general genre, or to help you find a particular title.
Finding materials that interest you is an important first step in improving your reading. Read the backs of books or the inside of the dust jacket for a brief summary of the plot. Usually, you will be able to tell right away if a book will not sustain your interest.
Most libraries allow you to check out more than one title at once. Take home several books to give yourself a variety of reading materials to try.
3-2. Go to a bookstore in your area.
Decide which type of bookstore can best suit your needs before setting out. Areas around college campuses and urban areas are more likely to contain a variety of bookstores to visit.
Larger chain bookstores carry everything from self-help books, to novels, to academic publications. If you are not sure what you are looking for, this type of larger bookstore can provide many different types of reading materials to help you narrow your search.
If your interests are more specific, look for a bookstore that caters to the type of book that appeals to you. Children's bookstores are designed to offer a more relaxed and fun environment for younger readers.
Buying from a small local bookstore is a good way to support local business in your community. You can find some unique books in these smaller stores, like work by local authors who have not been featured nationally.
Ask bookstore employees for recommendations. Usually, people who work in or own bookstores are there because they love to read. You will likely get a wide range of recommendations from them.
3-3. Check out garage sales or thrift stores.
You don't have to go to the library or spend a lot of money to find good books. Used books are available for just a few dollars, sometimes even for the change you have in your pocket.
3-4. Check out garage sales or thrift stores.
These offer easy ways to peruse reading material for interesting titles or collections. Sometimes people offer to sell off collections as an entire set.
Be careful when buying used or second-hand books to check the book thoroughly before buying it for missing or damaged pages. Flip through the entire book to make sure it is not badly torn or water damaged.
Feel free to negotiate on the price of a book or other reading material you come across at a garage sale. Sometimes the person selling the book is unaware of internal damage to pages that would decrease the price for the item.
3-5. Go online.
You can easily find discount books or reading material on the internet, without even leaving home. You can also download e-books and other forms of media to take with you.
Used books are available through most major online retailers. Used books are substantially less expensive than new, and most sellers provide an assessment of the state of the book in terms of wear and tear, and internal notations or highlighting.
More and more information is available for free online. Find a website or blog that interests you and follow it. You can easily find blogs online that include book reviews, which could lead you to explore other books and authors.
Consider getting a portable reading device for easy access to digital material. Although there is nothing like holding a book in your hand, digital devices make it easier than ever to carry several different e-books with you in one small place, which could save you from carrying around heavy books and magazines.
Many public libraries now allow you to "check out" e-books for free for a certain period of time, such as two weeks.
Tips
While reading, try to make pictures in your head to understand what's happening in the story and what the characters look like.
Don't avoid the children's section! Many books written for children are wonderful novels on their own.
Don't give up if you get frustrated or get a headache. If you aren't used to reading on a regular basis, it will be difficult at first. Stick to it and you will be rewarded.
Warnings
Difficulty reading could also be attributed to issues with eyesight. If you suffer from blurry vision and are struggling to see the print on a page, go and get your eyes checked by a professional.
Remember you are not alone if you are an adult who struggles with their reading. Fourteen percent of the adult population in the United States has difficulty with adult printed materials, while almost 29% of adults struggle to comprehend reading beyond the most basic levels.[9]
X
Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source
However, if you follow the steps above and you or your child are still profoundly struggling to read, you may be dealing with a reading disability. Reading disability and reading difficulty can be hard to tell apart, though their problems have different roots. A reading disability results primarily from the brain’s struggle to process the sounds of speech. Reading difficulty usually stems from lack of exposure to reading education.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Improving Your Reading Skills\\n1-1. Start at a comfortable reading level.\\nYou can advance to more difficult reading materials from there. If you attempt to read material that is too challenging initially you are more likely to become discouraged. While challenging yourself to read at a more advanced level is a wonderful goal, studies have shown that if you allow yourself to become discouraged while reading you will be less likely to achieve that goal in the long run.\\nSkim the first few pages. If you have trouble understanding what the author is trying to say, you may not enjoy the book.\\nIf you have chosen a book with a very narrow focus, like a scientific work or a specific historical treatise, you might want to instead familiarize yourself with books on more general topics first.\\nUse the five finger rule. Pick a book, and read the first two or three pages. Put one finger up for every word you can't pronounce or don't know the meaning of. If you've put up 5 or more fingers, the book is probably too hard. Educators have been using this method for years, and it can be applied for children as well as adults.\\n1-2. Expand your vocabulary\\nBuilding a greater vocabulary will make reading easier and more fun in the future. The more words you are exposed to, the more your vocabulary will grow.\\nIf you don't understand a word, first try to use context clues to figure out what it means. Frequently, the rest of the words in a sentence will offer hints about what a particular word means.\\nLook up words in the dictionary that you do not recognize or understand. Write down these words to review later to solidify them in your memory and make them a part of your vocabulary. Keep of a collection of these words for your own reference.\\nUse new words you learn in your everyday speech. Putting words into action in your everyday life will ensure that you remember them.\\n1-3. Practice, practice, practice.\\nStudies have shown that people who spend more time reading, and take in a greater volume of reading material, develop a more extensive vocabulary and greater reading comprehension. This improves their ability to take in knowledge more generally.\\nAs with anything else, developing reading skills takes work. Set aside time to read every day. Literacy experts disagree about exactly how much time you should devote to reading, given that it varies according to age, skill level, and ability. A good rule to remember, however, is consistency. Try to read every day. If you need to take frequent breaks while reading, go ahead. Even while practicing, reading should be an enjoyable experience.\\nTake a book with you on a morning bus or train commute, or read on your lunch break. Having access to reading materials during moments of down time makes it more likely that you will read regularly.\\nRead the words out loud. Reading out loud, alone or to someone, can improve how you read and spell. However, don’t force a nervous reader to read aloud, especially in a group setting. Fear of shame and humiliation can make some unsure readers dread the experience.\\nVisualize the story, pay attention to the introduction of characters and places. Try to see each in your mind. \\\"Seeing\\\" the story will make it more real to you and easier to remember.\\n2. Making Reading Fun\\n2-1. Read materials that interest you.\\nYou are much more likely to commit to reading when it is an enjoyable and engaging experience. If you are bored while reading, you are more likely to put the book down and engage in a different activity.\\nFind books related to your hobbies, career goals, or a topic that piques your curiosity. There are books that cover every topic imaginable, and the availability of local libraries, bookstores, and the Internet means that all of them are at your fingertips.\\nDon't limit yourself to just monographs. Comic books and graphic novels are a great way to get children and young adults hooked on reading. Collections of short stories are a good option for those who don't want to commit to reading a longer work.\\nRead magazines that cover your areas of interest. Whether your interests are in motorcycle maintenance, gardening, bird watching, or 19th-century architecture, there is a magazine that caters to you. Many of these contain lengthy, well-sourced articles.\\n2-2. Create a pleasant reading environment.\\nThe more you associate reading with comfort and relaxation the more likely you are to continue developing your reading skills. Reading can become a treat, rather than a chore.\\nFind a quiet place to read so that you aren’t disturbed. Avoid distractions like TV or the radio, or other people prone to disturbing you. Make sure it is somewhere with good lighting where you can relax. Hold the book about 15 inches away from your face (approximately the distance from your elbow to your wrist).\\nMake a cozy and fun reading area. A nicely lit corner with comfortable pillows creates a great ambiance for reading.\\nIf you are helping someone read, stay positive! Negative feedback will only discourage a fledgling reader, so keep the environment upbeat.\\n2-3. Make reading a social experience.\\nReading doesn't have to be a solitary pursuit, and can be even more enjoyable when shared with others.\\nStart a book club with friends. Making reading a social experience can inspire you to continue to improve. Friends can also provide encouragement for each other.\\nStart an online blog reviewing the latest books you have read. Encourage others to dialogue about their opinions of the work.\\nGo to a coffee shop or cafe readers frequent. Seeing others reading can inspire you, or expose you to interesting titles. Strike up a conversation with a fellow patron about what they have been reading.\\nConsider taking a class at your local college, community college, or community center. You can learn a new skill, study a topic that interests you, and practice your reading skills at the same time.\\nRead interesting passages to family or friends. You might encourage them to improve their reading as well.\\n2-4. Make reading a family affair.\\nIf you can establish reading as a regular and normal activity in your household, all members of your family will be encouraged to be better readers. It will also allow you to practice your reading skills.\\nParents can help their children be good readers by reading to them when they are young. Reading to children helps them develop language and listening skills, which prepares them to understand the written word.\\nKeep books handy in your household and keep age-appropriate books accessible to children to peruse on their own. Even if a child cannot read on their own yet, establishing initial skills for reading—such as how to correctly hold a book and turn the pages—is an important step to becoming a reader.\\nFamily reading time can provide a moment to bond with your children. Life can be very hectic, and it is often difficult to set aside quality time with your family. Try to schedule a moment to read with your children everyday as part of your routine.\\nBe patient if your child begins to favor one book and wants to read it over and over again. A favorite story could be offering your child comfort or appealing to a particular interest they have at the moment. Also, re-reading the same words and sentences repeatedly helps your child begin to recognize words by sight.\\n3. Accessing Reading Materials\\n3-1. Visit your local library.\\nPublic libraries offer free and unlimited access to remarkable collections of reading materials and other types of media and technology. Getting a library card is easy and usually just requires a photo ID, although some libraries may also require proof that you live in the area, such as a utility bill.\\nLibraries are wonderful places to find a variety of books and librarians are there to help. Trained in how to most effectively help you make the most of your library experience, librarians are a resource you should not overlook. Ask the librarian for suggestions for books on a specific topic, or a more general genre, or to help you find a particular title.\\nFinding materials that interest you is an important first step in improving your reading. Read the backs of books or the inside of the dust jacket for a brief summary of the plot. Usually, you will be able to tell right away if a book will not sustain your interest.\\nMost libraries allow you to check out more than one title at once. Take home several books to give yourself a variety of reading materials to try.\\n3-2. Go to a bookstore in your area.\\nDecide which type of bookstore can best suit your needs before setting out. Areas around college campuses and urban areas are more likely to contain a variety of bookstores to visit.\\nLarger chain bookstores carry everything from self-help books, to novels, to academic publications. If you are not sure what you are looking for, this type of larger bookstore can provide many different types of reading materials to help you narrow your search.\\nIf your interests are more specific, look for a bookstore that caters to the type of book that appeals to you. Children's bookstores are designed to offer a more relaxed and fun environment for younger readers.\\nBuying from a small local bookstore is a good way to support local business in your community. You can find some unique books in these smaller stores, like work by local authors who have not been featured nationally.\\nAsk bookstore employees for recommendations. Usually, people who work in or own bookstores are there because they love to read. You will likely get a wide range of recommendations from them.\\n3-3. Check out garage sales or thrift stores.\\nYou don't have to go to the library or spend a lot of money to find good books. Used books are available for just a few dollars, sometimes even for the change you have in your pocket.\\n3-4. Check out garage sales or thrift stores.\\nThese offer easy ways to peruse reading material for interesting titles or collections. Sometimes people offer to sell off collections as an entire set.\\nBe careful when buying used or second-hand books to check the book thoroughly before buying it for missing or damaged pages. Flip through the entire book to make sure it is not badly torn or water damaged.\\nFeel free to negotiate on the price of a book or other reading material you come across at a garage sale. Sometimes the person selling the book is unaware of internal damage to pages that would decrease the price for the item.\\n3-5. Go online.\\nYou can easily find discount books or reading material on the internet, without even leaving home. You can also download e-books and other forms of media to take with you.\\nUsed books are available through most major online retailers. Used books are substantially less expensive than new, and most sellers provide an assessment of the state of the book in terms of wear and tear, and internal notations or highlighting.\\nMore and more information is available for free online. Find a website or blog that interests you and follow it. You can easily find blogs online that include book reviews, which could lead you to explore other books and authors.\\nConsider getting a portable reading device for easy access to digital material. Although there is nothing like holding a book in your hand, digital devices make it easier than ever to carry several different e-books with you in one small place, which could save you from carrying around heavy books and magazines.\\nMany public libraries now allow you to \\\"check out\\\" e-books for free for a certain period of time, such as two weeks.\\nTips\\nWhile reading, try to make pictures in your head to understand what's happening in the story and what the characters look like.\\nDon't avoid the children's section! Many books written for children are wonderful novels on their own.\\nDon't give up if you get frustrated or get a headache. If you aren't used to reading on a regular basis, it will be difficult at first. Stick to it and you will be rewarded.\\nWarnings\\nDifficulty reading could also be attributed to issues with eyesight. If you suffer from blurry vision and are struggling to see the print on a page, go and get your eyes checked by a professional.\\nRemember you are not alone if you are an adult who struggles with their reading. Fourteen percent of the adult population in the United States has difficulty with adult printed materials, while almost 29% of adults struggle to comprehend reading beyond the most basic levels.[9]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nPubMed Central\\nJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health\\nGo to source\\nHowever, if you follow the steps above and you or your child are still profoundly struggling to read, you may be dealing with a reading disability. Reading disability and reading difficulty can be hard to tell apart, though their problems have different roots. A reading disability results primarily from the brain’s struggle to process the sounds of speech. Reading difficulty usually stems from lack of exposure to reading education.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many people enjoy reading as a way to relax and enrich their minds. Reading is also an increasingly critical skill to learn and develop to be successful in school and in the professional world. By gathering the right reading materials, employing a few strategies to increase your skills, and maintaining a positive attitude, you can improve your reading or help a child become a better reader.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Reading Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start at a comfortable reading level.\", \"描述\": \"You can advance to more difficult reading materials from there. If you attempt to read material that is too challenging initially you are more likely to become discouraged. While challenging yourself to read at a more advanced level is a wonderful goal, studies have shown that if you allow yourself to become discouraged while reading you will be less likely to achieve that goal in the long run.\\nSkim the first few pages. If you have trouble understanding what the author is trying to say, you may not enjoy the book.\\nIf you have chosen a book with a very narrow focus, like a scientific work or a specific historical treatise, you might want to instead familiarize yourself with books on more general topics first.\\nUse the five finger rule. Pick a book, and read the first two or three pages. Put one finger up for every word you can't pronounce or don't know the meaning of. If you've put up 5 or more fingers, the book is probably too hard. Educators have been using this method for years, and it can be applied for children as well as adults.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Expand your vocabulary\", \"描述\": \"Building a greater vocabulary will make reading easier and more fun in the future. The more words you are exposed to, the more your vocabulary will grow.\\nIf you don't understand a word, first try to use context clues to figure out what it means. Frequently, the rest of the words in a sentence will offer hints about what a particular word means.\\nLook up words in the dictionary that you do not recognize or understand. Write down these words to review later to solidify them in your memory and make them a part of your vocabulary. Keep of a collection of these words for your own reference.\\nUse new words you learn in your everyday speech. Putting words into action in your everyday life will ensure that you remember them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice, practice, practice.\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that people who spend more time reading, and take in a greater volume of reading material, develop a more extensive vocabulary and greater reading comprehension. This improves their ability to take in knowledge more generally.\\nAs with anything else, developing reading skills takes work. Set aside time to read every day. Literacy experts disagree about exactly how much time you should devote to reading, given that it varies according to age, skill level, and ability. A good rule to remember, however, is consistency. Try to read every day. If you need to take frequent breaks while reading, go ahead. Even while practicing, reading should be an enjoyable experience.\\nTake a book with you on a morning bus or train commute, or read on your lunch break. Having access to reading materials during moments of down time makes it more likely that you will read regularly.\\nRead the words out loud. Reading out loud, alone or to someone, can improve how you read and spell. However, don’t force a nervous reader to read aloud, especially in a group setting. Fear of shame and humiliation can make some unsure readers dread the experience.\\nVisualize the story, pay attention to the introduction of characters and places. Try to see each in your mind. \\\"Seeing\\\" the story will make it more real to you and easier to remember.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Reading Fun\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read materials that interest you.\", \"描述\": \"You are much more likely to commit to reading when it is an enjoyable and engaging experience. If you are bored while reading, you are more likely to put the book down and engage in a different activity.\\nFind books related to your hobbies, career goals, or a topic that piques your curiosity. There are books that cover every topic imaginable, and the availability of local libraries, bookstores, and the Internet means that all of them are at your fingertips.\\nDon't limit yourself to just monographs. Comic books and graphic novels are a great way to get children and young adults hooked on reading. Collections of short stories are a good option for those who don't want to commit to reading a longer work.\\nRead magazines that cover your areas of interest. Whether your interests are in motorcycle maintenance, gardening, bird watching, or 19th-century architecture, there is a magazine that caters to you. Many of these contain lengthy, well-sourced articles.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a pleasant reading environment.\", \"描述\": \"The more you associate reading with comfort and relaxation the more likely you are to continue developing your reading skills. Reading can become a treat, rather than a chore.\\nFind a quiet place to read so that you aren’t disturbed. Avoid distractions like TV or the radio, or other people prone to disturbing you. Make sure it is somewhere with good lighting where you can relax. Hold the book about 15 inches away from your face (approximately the distance from your elbow to your wrist).\\nMake a cozy and fun reading area. A nicely lit corner with comfortable pillows creates a great ambiance for reading.\\nIf you are helping someone read, stay positive! Negative feedback will only discourage a fledgling reader, so keep the environment upbeat.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make reading a social experience.\", \"描述\": \"Reading doesn't have to be a solitary pursuit, and can be even more enjoyable when shared with others.\\nStart a book club with friends. Making reading a social experience can inspire you to continue to improve. Friends can also provide encouragement for each other.\\nStart an online blog reviewing the latest books you have read. Encourage others to dialogue about their opinions of the work.\\nGo to a coffee shop or cafe readers frequent. Seeing others reading can inspire you, or expose you to interesting titles. Strike up a conversation with a fellow patron about what they have been reading.\\nConsider taking a class at your local college, community college, or community center. You can learn a new skill, study a topic that interests you, and practice your reading skills at the same time.\\nRead interesting passages to family or friends. You might encourage them to improve their reading as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make reading a family affair.\", \"描述\": \"If you can establish reading as a regular and normal activity in your household, all members of your family will be encouraged to be better readers. It will also allow you to practice your reading skills.\\nParents can help their children be good readers by reading to them when they are young. Reading to children helps them develop language and listening skills, which prepares them to understand the written word.\\nKeep books handy in your household and keep age-appropriate books accessible to children to peruse on their own. Even if a child cannot read on their own yet, establishing initial skills for reading—such as how to correctly hold a book and turn the pages—is an important step to becoming a reader.\\nFamily reading time can provide a moment to bond with your children. Life can be very hectic, and it is often difficult to set aside quality time with your family. Try to schedule a moment to read with your children everyday as part of your routine.\\nBe patient if your child begins to favor one book and wants to read it over and over again. A favorite story could be offering your child comfort or appealing to a particular interest they have at the moment. Also, re-reading the same words and sentences repeatedly helps your child begin to recognize words by sight.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accessing Reading Materials\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Visit your local library.\", \"描述\": \"Public libraries offer free and unlimited access to remarkable collections of reading materials and other types of media and technology. Getting a library card is easy and usually just requires a photo ID, although some libraries may also require proof that you live in the area, such as a utility bill.\\nLibraries are wonderful places to find a variety of books and librarians are there to help. Trained in how to most effectively help you make the most of your library experience, librarians are a resource you should not overlook. Ask the librarian for suggestions for books on a specific topic, or a more general genre, or to help you find a particular title.\\nFinding materials that interest you is an important first step in improving your reading. Read the backs of books or the inside of the dust jacket for a brief summary of the plot. Usually, you will be able to tell right away if a book will not sustain your interest.\\nMost libraries allow you to check out more than one title at once. Take home several books to give yourself a variety of reading materials to try.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go to a bookstore in your area.\", \"描述\": \"Decide which type of bookstore can best suit your needs before setting out. Areas around college campuses and urban areas are more likely to contain a variety of bookstores to visit.\\nLarger chain bookstores carry everything from self-help books, to novels, to academic publications. If you are not sure what you are looking for, this type of larger bookstore can provide many different types of reading materials to help you narrow your search.\\nIf your interests are more specific, look for a bookstore that caters to the type of book that appeals to you. Children's bookstores are designed to offer a more relaxed and fun environment for younger readers.\\nBuying from a small local bookstore is a good way to support local business in your community. You can find some unique books in these smaller stores, like work by local authors who have not been featured nationally.\\nAsk bookstore employees for recommendations. Usually, people who work in or own bookstores are there because they love to read. You will likely get a wide range of recommendations from them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check out garage sales or thrift stores.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to go to the library or spend a lot of money to find good books. Used books are available for just a few dollars, sometimes even for the change you have in your pocket.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Check out garage sales or thrift stores.\", \"描述\": \"These offer easy ways to peruse reading material for interesting titles or collections. Sometimes people offer to sell off collections as an entire set.\\nBe careful when buying used or second-hand books to check the book thoroughly before buying it for missing or damaged pages. Flip through the entire book to make sure it is not badly torn or water damaged.\\nFeel free to negotiate on the price of a book or other reading material you come across at a garage sale. Sometimes the person selling the book is unaware of internal damage to pages that would decrease the price for the item.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go online.\", \"描述\": \"You can easily find discount books or reading material on the internet, without even leaving home. You can also download e-books and other forms of media to take with you.\\nUsed books are available through most major online retailers. Used books are substantially less expensive than new, and most sellers provide an assessment of the state of the book in terms of wear and tear, and internal notations or highlighting.\\nMore and more information is available for free online. Find a website or blog that interests you and follow it. You can easily find blogs online that include book reviews, which could lead you to explore other books and authors.\\nConsider getting a portable reading device for easy access to digital material. Although there is nothing like holding a book in your hand, digital devices make it easier than ever to carry several different e-books with you in one small place, which could save you from carrying around heavy books and magazines.\\nMany public libraries now allow you to \\\"check out\\\" e-books for free for a certain period of time, such as two weeks.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"While reading, try to make pictures in your head to understand what's happening in the story and what the characters look like.\\n\", \"Don't avoid the children's section! Many books written for children are wonderful novels on their own.\\n\", \"Don't give up if you get frustrated or get a headache. If you aren't used to reading on a regular basis, it will be difficult at first. Stick to it and you will be rewarded.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Difficulty reading could also be attributed to issues with eyesight. If you suffer from blurry vision and are struggling to see the print on a page, go and get your eyes checked by a professional.\\n\", \"Remember you are not alone if you are an adult who struggles with their reading. Fourteen percent of the adult population in the United States has difficulty with adult printed materials, while almost 29% of adults struggle to comprehend reading beyond the most basic levels.[9]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nPubMed Central\\nJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health\\nGo to source\\n\", \"However, if you follow the steps above and you or your child are still profoundly struggling to read, you may be dealing with a reading disability. Reading disability and reading difficulty can be hard to tell apart, though their problems have different roots. A reading disability results primarily from the brain’s struggle to process the sounds of speech. Reading difficulty usually stems from lack of exposure to reading education.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,508 |
How to Be a Good Receptionist
|
1. Having the Right Skills
1-1. Have top-notch organizational skills.
Receptionists are the people that represent the face of the company--they are the ones that clients first speak with them and the people and coworkers go to for information and event planning. Aside from taking calls and directing visitors, they often deal with clients, organize events, set up meetings, etc. With all of these responsibilities, receptionists need to be really organized while dealing with multiple demands at once. A person won’t last long as a receptionist if he or she can’t juggle more than one thing at a time and deal with them in an orderly fashion.
A great way to stay organized is to invest in a filing system that works best for you. It is important to know what papers and information your boss, your coworkers and your clients may need. Keep all of this information in separate folders--be they on your computer desktop or in hard copy. Organize your filing system in a way that works best for you--if that requires neon sticky notes attached to everything, so be it.
Being organized also means being self-motivated--you don’t need anyone else to tell you how to do something, or keep you on track. If you are organized, you will know what tasks you need to complete each day, and what tasks are priorities.
Have phone numbers handy. (lots and lots) i.e. co-workers, employers, contractors, vendors, emergency contact numbers, etc. You will need them all at one point or another. Keep the phone numbers organized on a Rolodex or appropriate computer program.
1-2. Have some knowledge about technology under your belt.
The number one piece of technology receptionists have to deal with is the telephone--and all of the buttons and separate lines that it comes with. Computer skills are also a must--most receptionists have to know how to use email and must be skilled at word processing. It is also helpful to know how to create spreadsheets, and use any industry-specific programs.
Keep in mind that if the copier, scanner, or printer are near your desk, you will mostly likely be depended on to use them (and troubleshoot for coworkers who run into problems while using them.) Once you know the kind of machine being used at your office, brush up on its main functions and the ways to fix common problems.
1-3. Be dependable.
A receptionist is counted on to man the desk at all times--it reflects poorly on the company if no one picks up the phone, or there is a line of people waiting to be helped. Make being dependable a priority--if your boss knows that you are reliable and are always there to help, you become indispensable.
1-4. Possess excellent listening skills.
A big part of being a receptionist is listening to people--whether it is on the phone, a question a client is asking, or information being relayed to you. Being able to listen well will make you more efficient--you will be able to solve problems more quickly when you understand what the person is asking the first time around, and you’ll connect clients to the person they are trying to reach quickly.
1-5. Take notes on everything.
If a boss asks you to do something, takes notes on the specifics. If a customer calls, make sure to write down their information (name, contact information, what they want, etc.) Notes are a great way to stay organized and remind you of all the little things that come up during the day. Keep your notes in a notepad and have it with you at all times. You will be surprised by how helpful they are, especially when trying to remember what the person who called five hours ago wanted.
Make sure that you write out messages in detail and read over what you have written and most importantly when taking a message, repeat back the message and contact info that you were given so that you can make sure before you hang up that you have the proper information to relay.
1-6. Answer the phone politely with a standard greeting such as "Good Morning, Thank you for calling our company, my name is ___, how may I help you?
Make sure the phone is answered on the first or second ring. It is not good to keep people on hold for more than one minute. (It's longer than you may think.)
Listen carefully to the name of the person the caller is asking for. Repeat back to caller if necessary. Cell phones often distort sounds. Write the person's name to whom the call is directed if pronunciation is difficult.
Direct the call politely with a standard phrase such as "One moment please for Mr. Smith." Or if that individual is on the phone, "I am sorry, Mr. Smith is on the phone at the moment. Would you like to wait on hold or would you like to leave him a voicemail message?" Politely thank them and direct the call accordingly.
1-7. Greet delivery personnel with the same professionalism and politeness as any other visitor.
You may be required to sign for deliveries. Make sure your signature is legible. Delivery personnel may need directions where to leave packages. Make sure you contact appropriate employees for such matters.
1-8. Handle customers who come to your business with efficiency and politeness.
After the visitors identify who they are and who they are looking for, contact that individual and let her/him know who is there. A standard appropriate phrase is "Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones from XYZ Corporation is here to see you for his 2 o'clock appointment." Always get a first and last name and the name of the organization they are from. It is helpful to ask if they have an appointment with Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith will give you instructions about where to have visitor wait and for how long. You can then tell visitor "Mr. Smith will be with you in a moment." or "Mr. Smith said that he is finishing up a meeting and will be with you in 5 minutes. You may have a seat. Thank you."
2. Presenting Yourself Well
2-1. Have a positive attitude.
As mentioned above, receptionists are the face of a company--they are who clients deal with first, and the people who answer the questions of people who can’t come into the office. No one wants to be greeted by a sour expression and a grumpy attitude. Make it a priority to always have a smile on your face and a cheerful, upbeat personality. Remember to stay patient with challenging customers, even if they get on your last nerve.
Even you come up against a challenging client, remind yourself that you are a strong, happy individual. Tell yourself that they are acting out of frustration but know that as long as you are trying your best to accommodate them, you are not the one at fault. It is better to be the one that keeps your head than the one who explodes and looks like an ornery, mean person.
2-2. Have a greeting ready.
Its always important to greet your clients in a friendly way. Even if you continue what you are doing before helping them, its important to greet them so that they feel acknowledged and know that you will help them in a moment.
Some greetings are “Hi! Welcome to [Business name]” or “Good morning! If you’ll have a seat, I will be with you in just a moment!”
2-3. Be courteous.
Be respectful. Treat everyone like they are the most important person that has walked into the office that day. This is your job- nobody cares about how you got stuck in traffic this morning, how you ruined your brand new purse, or even how you lost your favorite CD. Leave personal matters at home. (Even if you don't respect their message or the way they convey it- fake it) Overall, make sure the person is totally relaxed and happy to talk to you.
2-4. Dress to impress.
You are representing a business, thus you should dress the part. Invest in some business casual clothes. Alternatively, if you are a receptionist at a specific sort of store (such as a clothing store) you may consider dressing the part by buying some of the store’s clothing and wearing them. Tend to the conservative, unless you work somewhere where fashion, trendiness, or other factors are pushed to the forefront.
Check to see if your business has a specific dress code. Your business may be fine with casual dress, just remember that you should never dress too casually (sweats should be banned from the workplace.)
Tips
Remember who signs your paycheck and respect them at all times.
Be nice to managers, see if you can help them with additional tasks during your free time.
Handling mail is usually part of a reception job, find out where it goes, who will bring it, and when, on your first day.
Warnings
Never get into an argument with a caller or visitor. Route them to a supervisor. However, if there is no one to take their call suggest leaving a voicemail. Sometimes there isn't a manager or supervisor present. There is only so much you can do as a receptionist.
Never say "I don't do XYZ." You'll be out of a job faster than you get to Z.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Having the Right Skills\\n1-1. Have top-notch organizational skills.\\nReceptionists are the people that represent the face of the company--they are the ones that clients first speak with them and the people and coworkers go to for information and event planning. Aside from taking calls and directing visitors, they often deal with clients, organize events, set up meetings, etc. With all of these responsibilities, receptionists need to be really organized while dealing with multiple demands at once. A person won’t last long as a receptionist if he or she can’t juggle more than one thing at a time and deal with them in an orderly fashion.\\nA great way to stay organized is to invest in a filing system that works best for you. It is important to know what papers and information your boss, your coworkers and your clients may need. Keep all of this information in separate folders--be they on your computer desktop or in hard copy. Organize your filing system in a way that works best for you--if that requires neon sticky notes attached to everything, so be it.\\nBeing organized also means being self-motivated--you don’t need anyone else to tell you how to do something, or keep you on track. If you are organized, you will know what tasks you need to complete each day, and what tasks are priorities.\\nHave phone numbers handy. (lots and lots) i.e. co-workers, employers, contractors, vendors, emergency contact numbers, etc. You will need them all at one point or another. Keep the phone numbers organized on a Rolodex or appropriate computer program.\\n1-2. Have some knowledge about technology under your belt.\\nThe number one piece of technology receptionists have to deal with is the telephone--and all of the buttons and separate lines that it comes with. Computer skills are also a must--most receptionists have to know how to use email and must be skilled at word processing. It is also helpful to know how to create spreadsheets, and use any industry-specific programs.\\nKeep in mind that if the copier, scanner, or printer are near your desk, you will mostly likely be depended on to use them (and troubleshoot for coworkers who run into problems while using them.) Once you know the kind of machine being used at your office, brush up on its main functions and the ways to fix common problems.\\n1-3. Be dependable.\\nA receptionist is counted on to man the desk at all times--it reflects poorly on the company if no one picks up the phone, or there is a line of people waiting to be helped. Make being dependable a priority--if your boss knows that you are reliable and are always there to help, you become indispensable.\\n1-4. Possess excellent listening skills.\\nA big part of being a receptionist is listening to people--whether it is on the phone, a question a client is asking, or information being relayed to you. Being able to listen well will make you more efficient--you will be able to solve problems more quickly when you understand what the person is asking the first time around, and you’ll connect clients to the person they are trying to reach quickly.\\n1-5. Take notes on everything.\\nIf a boss asks you to do something, takes notes on the specifics. If a customer calls, make sure to write down their information (name, contact information, what they want, etc.) Notes are a great way to stay organized and remind you of all the little things that come up during the day. Keep your notes in a notepad and have it with you at all times. You will be surprised by how helpful they are, especially when trying to remember what the person who called five hours ago wanted.\\nMake sure that you write out messages in detail and read over what you have written and most importantly when taking a message, repeat back the message and contact info that you were given so that you can make sure before you hang up that you have the proper information to relay.\\n1-6. Answer the phone politely with a standard greeting such as \\\"Good Morning, Thank you for calling our company, my name is ___, how may I help you?\\nMake sure the phone is answered on the first or second ring. It is not good to keep people on hold for more than one minute. (It's longer than you may think.)\\nListen carefully to the name of the person the caller is asking for. Repeat back to caller if necessary. Cell phones often distort sounds. Write the person's name to whom the call is directed if pronunciation is difficult.\\nDirect the call politely with a standard phrase such as \\\"One moment please for Mr. Smith.\\\" Or if that individual is on the phone, \\\"I am sorry, Mr. Smith is on the phone at the moment. Would you like to wait on hold or would you like to leave him a voicemail message?\\\" Politely thank them and direct the call accordingly.\\n1-7. Greet delivery personnel with the same professionalism and politeness as any other visitor.\\nYou may be required to sign for deliveries. Make sure your signature is legible. Delivery personnel may need directions where to leave packages. Make sure you contact appropriate employees for such matters.\\n1-8. Handle customers who come to your business with efficiency and politeness.\\nAfter the visitors identify who they are and who they are looking for, contact that individual and let her/him know who is there. A standard appropriate phrase is \\\"Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones from XYZ Corporation is here to see you for his 2 o'clock appointment.\\\" Always get a first and last name and the name of the organization they are from. It is helpful to ask if they have an appointment with Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith will give you instructions about where to have visitor wait and for how long. You can then tell visitor \\\"Mr. Smith will be with you in a moment.\\\" or \\\"Mr. Smith said that he is finishing up a meeting and will be with you in 5 minutes. You may have a seat. Thank you.\\\"\\n2. Presenting Yourself Well\\n2-1. Have a positive attitude.\\nAs mentioned above, receptionists are the face of a company--they are who clients deal with first, and the people who answer the questions of people who can’t come into the office. No one wants to be greeted by a sour expression and a grumpy attitude. Make it a priority to always have a smile on your face and a cheerful, upbeat personality. Remember to stay patient with challenging customers, even if they get on your last nerve.\\nEven you come up against a challenging client, remind yourself that you are a strong, happy individual. Tell yourself that they are acting out of frustration but know that as long as you are trying your best to accommodate them, you are not the one at fault. It is better to be the one that keeps your head than the one who explodes and looks like an ornery, mean person.\\n2-2. Have a greeting ready.\\nIts always important to greet your clients in a friendly way. Even if you continue what you are doing before helping them, its important to greet them so that they feel acknowledged and know that you will help them in a moment.\\nSome greetings are “Hi! Welcome to [Business name]” or “Good morning! If you’ll have a seat, I will be with you in just a moment!”\\n2-3. Be courteous.\\nBe respectful. Treat everyone like they are the most important person that has walked into the office that day. This is your job- nobody cares about how you got stuck in traffic this morning, how you ruined your brand new purse, or even how you lost your favorite CD. Leave personal matters at home. (Even if you don't respect their message or the way they convey it- fake it) Overall, make sure the person is totally relaxed and happy to talk to you.\\n2-4. Dress to impress.\\nYou are representing a business, thus you should dress the part. Invest in some business casual clothes. Alternatively, if you are a receptionist at a specific sort of store (such as a clothing store) you may consider dressing the part by buying some of the store’s clothing and wearing them. Tend to the conservative, unless you work somewhere where fashion, trendiness, or other factors are pushed to the forefront.\\nCheck to see if your business has a specific dress code. Your business may be fine with casual dress, just remember that you should never dress too casually (sweats should be banned from the workplace.)\\nTips\\nRemember who signs your paycheck and respect them at all times.\\nBe nice to managers, see if you can help them with additional tasks during your free time.\\nHandling mail is usually part of a reception job, find out where it goes, who will bring it, and when, on your first day.\\nWarnings\\nNever get into an argument with a caller or visitor. Route them to a supervisor. However, if there is no one to take their call suggest leaving a voicemail. Sometimes there isn't a manager or supervisor present. There is only so much you can do as a receptionist.\\nNever say \\\"I don't do XYZ.\\\" You'll be out of a job faster than you get to Z.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Every office that presents itself to the public in any way requires a face to meet the public. Although excellent communication over the phone and by email are important to the reception staff, it is the face-to-face communication that distinguishes a receptionist from a Customer Service Representative. Oftentimes, when a person (vendor, applicant, community member) enters your workplace, the first thing they will see is the receptionist- and first impressions are always important.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Having the Right Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have top-notch organizational skills.\", \"描述\": \"Receptionists are the people that represent the face of the company--they are the ones that clients first speak with them and the people and coworkers go to for information and event planning. Aside from taking calls and directing visitors, they often deal with clients, organize events, set up meetings, etc. With all of these responsibilities, receptionists need to be really organized while dealing with multiple demands at once. A person won’t last long as a receptionist if he or she can’t juggle more than one thing at a time and deal with them in an orderly fashion.\\nA great way to stay organized is to invest in a filing system that works best for you. It is important to know what papers and information your boss, your coworkers and your clients may need. Keep all of this information in separate folders--be they on your computer desktop or in hard copy. Organize your filing system in a way that works best for you--if that requires neon sticky notes attached to everything, so be it.\\nBeing organized also means being self-motivated--you don’t need anyone else to tell you how to do something, or keep you on track. If you are organized, you will know what tasks you need to complete each day, and what tasks are priorities.\\nHave phone numbers handy. (lots and lots) i.e. co-workers, employers, contractors, vendors, emergency contact numbers, etc. You will need them all at one point or another. Keep the phone numbers organized on a Rolodex or appropriate computer program.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have some knowledge about technology under your belt.\", \"描述\": \"The number one piece of technology receptionists have to deal with is the telephone--and all of the buttons and separate lines that it comes with. Computer skills are also a must--most receptionists have to know how to use email and must be skilled at word processing. It is also helpful to know how to create spreadsheets, and use any industry-specific programs.\\nKeep in mind that if the copier, scanner, or printer are near your desk, you will mostly likely be depended on to use them (and troubleshoot for coworkers who run into problems while using them.) Once you know the kind of machine being used at your office, brush up on its main functions and the ways to fix common problems.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be dependable.\", \"描述\": \"A receptionist is counted on to man the desk at all times--it reflects poorly on the company if no one picks up the phone, or there is a line of people waiting to be helped. Make being dependable a priority--if your boss knows that you are reliable and are always there to help, you become indispensable.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Possess excellent listening skills.\", \"描述\": \"A big part of being a receptionist is listening to people--whether it is on the phone, a question a client is asking, or information being relayed to you. Being able to listen well will make you more efficient--you will be able to solve problems more quickly when you understand what the person is asking the first time around, and you’ll connect clients to the person they are trying to reach quickly.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take notes on everything.\", \"描述\": \"If a boss asks you to do something, takes notes on the specifics. If a customer calls, make sure to write down their information (name, contact information, what they want, etc.) Notes are a great way to stay organized and remind you of all the little things that come up during the day. Keep your notes in a notepad and have it with you at all times. You will be surprised by how helpful they are, especially when trying to remember what the person who called five hours ago wanted.\\nMake sure that you write out messages in detail and read over what you have written and most importantly when taking a message, repeat back the message and contact info that you were given so that you can make sure before you hang up that you have the proper information to relay.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Answer the phone politely with a standard greeting such as \\\"Good Morning, Thank you for calling our company, my name is ___, how may I help you?\", \"描述\": \"Make sure the phone is answered on the first or second ring. It is not good to keep people on hold for more than one minute. (It's longer than you may think.)\\nListen carefully to the name of the person the caller is asking for. Repeat back to caller if necessary. Cell phones often distort sounds. Write the person's name to whom the call is directed if pronunciation is difficult.\\nDirect the call politely with a standard phrase such as \\\"One moment please for Mr. Smith.\\\" Or if that individual is on the phone, \\\"I am sorry, Mr. Smith is on the phone at the moment. Would you like to wait on hold or would you like to leave him a voicemail message?\\\" Politely thank them and direct the call accordingly.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Greet delivery personnel with the same professionalism and politeness as any other visitor.\", \"描述\": \"You may be required to sign for deliveries. Make sure your signature is legible. Delivery personnel may need directions where to leave packages. Make sure you contact appropriate employees for such matters.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Handle customers who come to your business with efficiency and politeness.\", \"描述\": \"After the visitors identify who they are and who they are looking for, contact that individual and let her/him know who is there. A standard appropriate phrase is \\\"Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones from XYZ Corporation is here to see you for his 2 o'clock appointment.\\\" Always get a first and last name and the name of the organization they are from. It is helpful to ask if they have an appointment with Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith will give you instructions about where to have visitor wait and for how long. You can then tell visitor \\\"Mr. Smith will be with you in a moment.\\\" or \\\"Mr. Smith said that he is finishing up a meeting and will be with you in 5 minutes. You may have a seat. Thank you.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Presenting Yourself Well\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a positive attitude.\", \"描述\": \"As mentioned above, receptionists are the face of a company--they are who clients deal with first, and the people who answer the questions of people who can’t come into the office. No one wants to be greeted by a sour expression and a grumpy attitude. Make it a priority to always have a smile on your face and a cheerful, upbeat personality. Remember to stay patient with challenging customers, even if they get on your last nerve.\\nEven you come up against a challenging client, remind yourself that you are a strong, happy individual. Tell yourself that they are acting out of frustration but know that as long as you are trying your best to accommodate them, you are not the one at fault. It is better to be the one that keeps your head than the one who explodes and looks like an ornery, mean person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a greeting ready.\", \"描述\": \"Its always important to greet your clients in a friendly way. Even if you continue what you are doing before helping them, its important to greet them so that they feel acknowledged and know that you will help them in a moment.\\nSome greetings are “Hi! Welcome to [Business name]” or “Good morning! If you’ll have a seat, I will be with you in just a moment!”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be courteous.\", \"描述\": \"Be respectful. Treat everyone like they are the most important person that has walked into the office that day. This is your job- nobody cares about how you got stuck in traffic this morning, how you ruined your brand new purse, or even how you lost your favorite CD. Leave personal matters at home. (Even if you don't respect their message or the way they convey it- fake it) Overall, make sure the person is totally relaxed and happy to talk to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dress to impress.\", \"描述\": \"You are representing a business, thus you should dress the part. Invest in some business casual clothes. Alternatively, if you are a receptionist at a specific sort of store (such as a clothing store) you may consider dressing the part by buying some of the store’s clothing and wearing them. Tend to the conservative, unless you work somewhere where fashion, trendiness, or other factors are pushed to the forefront.\\nCheck to see if your business has a specific dress code. Your business may be fine with casual dress, just remember that you should never dress too casually (sweats should be banned from the workplace.)\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember who signs your paycheck and respect them at all times.\\n\", \"Be nice to managers, see if you can help them with additional tasks during your free time.\\n\", \"Handling mail is usually part of a reception job, find out where it goes, who will bring it, and when, on your first day.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never get into an argument with a caller or visitor. Route them to a supervisor. However, if there is no one to take their call suggest leaving a voicemail. Sometimes there isn't a manager or supervisor present. There is only so much you can do as a receptionist.\\n\", \"Never say \\\"I don't do XYZ.\\\" You'll be out of a job faster than you get to Z.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
|
4,509 |
How to Be a Good Roblox Builder
|
1. Basic Studio Building
1-1. Launch Roblox Studio and click the Baseplate option to start editing.
1-2. Click "Model" at the top menu bar.
1-3. Choose the bricks that you want to insert.
You will most often be inserting Parts, which are basic blocks.
1-4. Be careful when using free models, available by making the Toolbox sidebar visible in the Window menu.
Try not to use them too much. Instead, make your own models. Also, be aware that some free models have scripts called "infected scripts" - they spread outside of the model and affect everything else inside your game.
1-5. Start adding bricks, models, and whatever you want.
Making the Toolbox sidebar visible will be of great help even if you don't use Free Models.
1-6. At some point, you will want to group blocks together to keep everything looking orderly.
Do this by selecting every block you want to group, right-clicking, and selecting the "Group" option from the menu.
1-7. After you're finished, you can publish your place to Roblox:
File Publish to Roblox. You occasionally have to push Publish to Roblox multiple times.
1-8. Remember to save a backup copy occasionally.
Go to File ➡ Save as ➡, and then type in the name of your place. After that, hit the 'Enter' key to save it. This way, if you accidentally publish after inserting an infected free model, you can load an earlier version without the infected model.
2. Building Tool Plugins
2-1. Had enough of basic building?
Try the library. Search the plugins section for building tools.?
Building Tools by F3X: This is a building tool for a more advanced building, to make details and things you can't do using the basic tools.
GapFill: This plugin "fills in" a variety of gaps. Useful for gaps that are shaped in a complex way.
Oozledraw Toolbar- Draw Curve/Rope: This makes curves using geometry to find the gravity pull, the kind, and the form. This is useful to make rope or to add detail into something.
Cutscene Editor- You can make sort of "tours" of the place with this. It works by knowing to go from one point to another, and where it's facing when traveling.
2-2. Found a plugin you like?
Click the Favorite button, or "Take One" if available.
2-3. Launch Roblox Studio.
You must launch a fresh copy of Roblox Studio, you cannot use a Studio window that has a build already open.
2-4. When Studio starts, you will be given a web browser inside the studio.
There will be a little address bar at the top, near the tabs you usually use to switch between script editing and Place editing. In this browser, type www.roblox.com. Log in there if you're not using Internet Explorer.
2-5. Still inside the studio browser, go to your profile and scroll to the bottom.
There should be a new Plugins category due to you favoriting a plugin.
2-6. Click on the icon or name of the plugin you favorited.
The previously dark 'install' button should now be green. Click it and confirm. Roblox Studio should now restart and install the plugin you asked for.
2-7. After Studio finishes restarting, right-click the toolbars along the top - there should be a new, unchecked toolbar.
Click it to turn it on, then either open a place or create a new one with the options given.
Tips
If you want something like a hat giver, Teleporter, etc. to work, don't lock it.
Try to learn the scripting language 'Lua' in the wiki to make advanced places.
Make sure to anchor everything so nothing will fall.
Warnings
Many free models contain viruses. Consider installing a plugin to defend against these.
Most people criticise free-modelers. We highly encourage you to make and use your own models.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Basic Studio Building\\n1-1. Launch Roblox Studio and click the Baseplate option to start editing.\\n\\n1-2. Click \\\"Model\\\" at the top menu bar.\\n\\n1-3. Choose the bricks that you want to insert.\\nYou will most often be inserting Parts, which are basic blocks.\\n1-4. Be careful when using free models, available by making the Toolbox sidebar visible in the Window menu.\\nTry not to use them too much. Instead, make your own models. Also, be aware that some free models have scripts called \\\"infected scripts\\\" - they spread outside of the model and affect everything else inside your game.\\n1-5. Start adding bricks, models, and whatever you want.\\nMaking the Toolbox sidebar visible will be of great help even if you don't use Free Models.\\n1-6. At some point, you will want to group blocks together to keep everything looking orderly.\\nDo this by selecting every block you want to group, right-clicking, and selecting the \\\"Group\\\" option from the menu.\\n1-7. After you're finished, you can publish your place to Roblox:\\nFile Publish to Roblox. You occasionally have to push Publish to Roblox multiple times.\\n1-8. Remember to save a backup copy occasionally.\\nGo to File ➡ Save as ➡, and then type in the name of your place. After that, hit the 'Enter' key to save it. This way, if you accidentally publish after inserting an infected free model, you can load an earlier version without the infected model.\\n2. Building Tool Plugins\\n2-1. Had enough of basic building?\\nTry the library. Search the plugins section for building tools.?\\nBuilding Tools by F3X: This is a building tool for a more advanced building, to make details and things you can't do using the basic tools.\\nGapFill: This plugin \\\"fills in\\\" a variety of gaps. Useful for gaps that are shaped in a complex way.\\nOozledraw Toolbar- Draw Curve/Rope: This makes curves using geometry to find the gravity pull, the kind, and the form. This is useful to make rope or to add detail into something.\\nCutscene Editor- You can make sort of \\\"tours\\\" of the place with this. It works by knowing to go from one point to another, and where it's facing when traveling.\\n2-2. Found a plugin you like?\\nClick the Favorite button, or \\\"Take One\\\" if available.\\n2-3. Launch Roblox Studio.\\nYou must launch a fresh copy of Roblox Studio, you cannot use a Studio window that has a build already open.\\n2-4. When Studio starts, you will be given a web browser inside the studio.\\nThere will be a little address bar at the top, near the tabs you usually use to switch between script editing and Place editing. In this browser, type www.roblox.com. Log in there if you're not using Internet Explorer.\\n2-5. Still inside the studio browser, go to your profile and scroll to the bottom.\\nThere should be a new Plugins category due to you favoriting a plugin.\\n2-6. Click on the icon or name of the plugin you favorited.\\nThe previously dark 'install' button should now be green. Click it and confirm. Roblox Studio should now restart and install the plugin you asked for.\\n2-7. After Studio finishes restarting, right-click the toolbars along the top - there should be a new, unchecked toolbar.\\nClick it to turn it on, then either open a place or create a new one with the options given.\\nTips\\nIf you want something like a hat giver, Teleporter, etc. to work, don't lock it.\\nTry to learn the scripting language 'Lua' in the wiki to make advanced places.\\nMake sure to anchor everything so nothing will fall.\\nWarnings\\nMany free models contain viruses. Consider installing a plugin to defend against these.\\nMost people criticise free-modelers. We highly encourage you to make and use your own models.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"On Roblox, developing and playing games are the core and structure. It's a game that gives you an opportunity to create whatever you want! Creating is a major part in Roblox. This guide will give you tips and walk you through on how to start your first game as a builder.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Basic Studio Building\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Launch Roblox Studio and click the Baseplate option to start editing.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click \\\"Model\\\" at the top menu bar.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose the bricks that you want to insert.\", \"描述\": \"You will most often be inserting Parts, which are basic blocks.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be careful when using free models, available by making the Toolbox sidebar visible in the Window menu.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to use them too much. Instead, make your own models. Also, be aware that some free models have scripts called \\\"infected scripts\\\" - they spread outside of the model and affect everything else inside your game.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Start adding bricks, models, and whatever you want.\", \"描述\": \"Making the Toolbox sidebar visible will be of great help even if you don't use Free Models.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"At some point, you will want to group blocks together to keep everything looking orderly.\", \"描述\": \"Do this by selecting every block you want to group, right-clicking, and selecting the \\\"Group\\\" option from the menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"After you're finished, you can publish your place to Roblox:\", \"描述\": \"File Publish to Roblox. You occasionally have to push Publish to Roblox multiple times.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Remember to save a backup copy occasionally.\", \"描述\": \"Go to File ➡ Save as ➡, and then type in the name of your place. After that, hit the 'Enter' key to save it. This way, if you accidentally publish after inserting an infected free model, you can load an earlier version without the infected model.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Building Tool Plugins\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Had enough of basic building?\", \"描述\": \"Try the library. Search the plugins section for building tools.?\\nBuilding Tools by F3X: This is a building tool for a more advanced building, to make details and things you can't do using the basic tools.\\nGapFill: This plugin \\\"fills in\\\" a variety of gaps. Useful for gaps that are shaped in a complex way.\\nOozledraw Toolbar- Draw Curve/Rope: This makes curves using geometry to find the gravity pull, the kind, and the form. This is useful to make rope or to add detail into something.\\nCutscene Editor- You can make sort of \\\"tours\\\" of the place with this. It works by knowing to go from one point to another, and where it's facing when traveling.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Found a plugin you like?\", \"描述\": \"Click the Favorite button, or \\\"Take One\\\" if available.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Launch Roblox Studio.\", \"描述\": \"You must launch a fresh copy of Roblox Studio, you cannot use a Studio window that has a build already open.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"When Studio starts, you will be given a web browser inside the studio.\", \"描述\": \"There will be a little address bar at the top, near the tabs you usually use to switch between script editing and Place editing. In this browser, type www.roblox.com. Log in there if you're not using Internet Explorer.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Still inside the studio browser, go to your profile and scroll to the bottom.\", \"描述\": \"There should be a new Plugins category due to you favoriting a plugin.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Click on the icon or name of the plugin you favorited.\", \"描述\": \"The previously dark 'install' button should now be green. Click it and confirm. Roblox Studio should now restart and install the plugin you asked for.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"After Studio finishes restarting, right-click the toolbars along the top - there should be a new, unchecked toolbar.\", \"描述\": \"Click it to turn it on, then either open a place or create a new one with the options given.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you want something like a hat giver, Teleporter, etc. to work, don't lock it.\\n\", \"Try to learn the scripting language 'Lua' in the wiki to make advanced places.\\n\", \"Make sure to anchor everything so nothing will fall.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Many free models contain viruses. Consider installing a plugin to defend against these.\\n\", \"Most people criticise free-modelers. We highly encourage you to make and use your own models.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
|
wikihow
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4,510 |
How to Be a Good Roommate
|
1. Setting Expectations
1-1. Discuss your expectations ahead of time.
Get together before or on the first day you move in together and talk about what each of you needs and wants from the other. This is your best chance to set boundaries with your roommate. This applies to finances, food, clothes, possessions, use of common areas, loud activities or parties, quiet hours, cleaning responsibilities, and so on.
For example, say something like, “I don’t mind if you have people over, but can you try to keep the noise level down after 10 p.m.? I work the early shift so I have to be out the door at the crack of dawn.”
1-2. Create a roommate agreement.
Some people find it helpful to write up a "roommate agreement" in which you set down rules that everyone can agree to. This is a good way to make sure that everyone is clear on the rules and responsibilities. Once you’ve discussed your expectations, write up an agreement, then have each roommate sign and keep a copy of it.
1-3. Make a financial agreement.
It’s a good idea to get a financial agreement in writing to avoid any issues down the road. Decide how you’ll divide up the rent and utility payments, and determine whether or not you’ll split the cable and internet bill. Make sure you’re okay with paying half the bills if your roommate constantly leaves the sprinklers on, racks up pay-per-view charges, or likes to have all the lights in the house on at all times, all of which can add extra costs to the total.
1-4. Divide up responsibilities.
Make a plan to divide up responsibilities and chores between you and your roommate. For example, if your roommate is a good cook and you are not, ask them to cook if you’ll clean up afterward. It may also be a good idea to set up a chores schedule, where you will take turns cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, dusting, vacuuming, and so on.
You could ask, “How do you feel about creating a chore schedule? For example, I could do dishes this week, and you could do them next week. Does that sound fair?”
1-5. Decide what you will share.
Make a clear delineation between your stuff and your roommate’s stuff. Decide what contents in the fridge are okay to share and which are off limits, and discuss whether or not you’ll share laundry soap and other things of that nature. Remember to ask before "borrowing" anything, no matter if it's trivial, and always take good care of any borrowed items.
1-6. Agree to respect each other’s privacy and personal space.
This is especially important if you share a small living area. Discuss each of your preferences regarding personal space and privacy. For instance, you may not mind if your roommate comes into your room unannounced, but they might find you to be very rude for doing so. Talk about these kinds of things so that you know what to expect from each other.
Alternatively, your roommate may like to share their experiences and feelings with you, but you may not feel comfortable doing the same. Be upfront about your preferences.
1-7. Be prepared to compromise.
Not everyone has the same ideas about day to day living as you do. Recognize that you are sharing a space with someone that may have different values and preferences. Take their feelings into consideration, and ask that they do the same for you.
For instance, if you’re dying to throw a party on Thursday night but your roommate has a final early the next morning, agree to postpone the bash till Friday evening, instead.
2. Living in Harmony
2-1. Communicate effectively
As in any relationship, living with someone requires a great deal of work. Communication is key in making the relationship work well long-term, or even for a short time. If a problem comes up, it's better to talk about it right away than to try to ignore it and let it get worse. For example, say “Chris, it upsets me when I wake up to find all the milk gone. If you use the last of something, can you please add it to the list?”
If you simply cannot communicate openly and there is tension all the time, you may be better off finding a new roommate.
2-2. Follow through with your obligations.
If you say you're going to clean the kitchen, pay your roommate back for your share of the lease or utilities, or call the landlord about a repair, then you need to do so. Nothing is more frustrating than agreeing to something with someone then finding out they didn’t hold up their end of the bargain. Be responsible for yourself and follow through with what you say you will do.
2-3. Clean up after yourself.
Though you may have agreed that your roommate would take out the trash on Fridays, that doesn’t mean you can pile stuff around the can until Friday rolls around. If you have a spare minute, just take out the trash. Don't leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days on end, dump your things in the living room, or leave mountains of laundry on top of the washer. Try to agree on a minimum standard of cleanliness that you'll all abide by.
2-4. Spend time with your roommate.
Say hello and goodbye, ask them how their day was, and show interest in their life. Getting to know the person you live with helps you understand their perspective, and allows them to understand yours. It also makes it easier to deal with problems that you have with that person if you’ve already established a rapport with them.
Try to set a time in which you both can hang out at least once a week. Make dinner together, watch a movie, or go for a hike.
Do something nice for your roommate every so often—do their dishes, bake them cookies, or offer to give them a ride somewhere if they don't have a car.
2-5. Accommodate your roommate.
Understand what’s going on in your roommate’s life, and aim to be flexible and accommodating. If your roommate has a big test coming up, you should probably be quiet and let them study. If your roommate is busy and stressed with their job, give them some time and space to relax and unwind. After all, wouldn't you like your roommate to show you the same consideration?
3. Choosing a Compatible Roommate
3-1. Learn their habits.
It can be tempting to select a roommate on the basis of how friendly they are, but you're better off judging them on the basis of day-to-day living compatibility. Find out if how often they’ll be home, what their work or school schedule is like, and whether they’re an early riser or a night owl. You should also consider how neat or messy the person is, as a sloppy roommate is sure to drive a neat-freak nuts.
3-2. Compare your preferences.
It can be difficult to live with someone who enjoys absolute silence when you love to blast music at all hours of the day and night. Find out the person’s preferences before deciding to move in together. Ask what kind of noise level they prefer, what temperature they’re comfortable at, what kinds of foods they enjoy, if they’re sensitive to odors, and if they have any allergies. Be sure to find out if they smoke, drink, or use recreational drugs, too.
3-3. Account for personality differences.
Some people may have vastly different religious or political views that could cause conflict when living together. For example, someone who is very religious and conservative may not be okay with you bringing home one-night-stands. Some people may love to chat and discuss their feelings, while others prefer to keep things to themselves. The best roommate pairs will have similar views on these topics.
3-4. Check their rental history and financial situation.
Ask for rental references and discuss the financial commitment you’re both making. Make sure they are prepared and able to stick to the lease agreement as well as any utility bills. You don’t want to get stuck paying the full amount of rent because they don’t have enough money to cover their portion!
Tips
Control the amount of noise you make. Wear headphones when you listen to music, and go into another room when you're on the phone. If you're going to engage in a noisy activity, it's a good idea to ask your roommate before you do it.
Make sure all roommates' understand the meaning of compromise and mutual respect. Just paying rent does not constitute a good roommate. Respect each other's space, privacy, and preferences.
Don't make your rules too rigid. Sometimes, you may need to let an issue go rather than fight over it. Dirty windows never hurt anyone, and a broken plate is not worth ruining a friendship.
Warnings
Although you should be flexible and accommodating, don’t let your roommate take advantage of you. Speak up for yourself when necessary.
Remember, not everyone is meant to live together, regardless of how good a friendship you might have.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Setting Expectations\\n1-1. Discuss your expectations ahead of time.\\nGet together before or on the first day you move in together and talk about what each of you needs and wants from the other. This is your best chance to set boundaries with your roommate. This applies to finances, food, clothes, possessions, use of common areas, loud activities or parties, quiet hours, cleaning responsibilities, and so on.\\nFor example, say something like, “I don’t mind if you have people over, but can you try to keep the noise level down after 10 p.m.? I work the early shift so I have to be out the door at the crack of dawn.”\\n1-2. Create a roommate agreement.\\nSome people find it helpful to write up a \\\"roommate agreement\\\" in which you set down rules that everyone can agree to. This is a good way to make sure that everyone is clear on the rules and responsibilities. Once you’ve discussed your expectations, write up an agreement, then have each roommate sign and keep a copy of it.\\n1-3. Make a financial agreement.\\nIt’s a good idea to get a financial agreement in writing to avoid any issues down the road. Decide how you’ll divide up the rent and utility payments, and determine whether or not you’ll split the cable and internet bill. Make sure you’re okay with paying half the bills if your roommate constantly leaves the sprinklers on, racks up pay-per-view charges, or likes to have all the lights in the house on at all times, all of which can add extra costs to the total.\\n1-4. Divide up responsibilities.\\nMake a plan to divide up responsibilities and chores between you and your roommate. For example, if your roommate is a good cook and you are not, ask them to cook if you’ll clean up afterward. It may also be a good idea to set up a chores schedule, where you will take turns cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, dusting, vacuuming, and so on.\\nYou could ask, “How do you feel about creating a chore schedule? For example, I could do dishes this week, and you could do them next week. Does that sound fair?”\\n1-5. Decide what you will share.\\nMake a clear delineation between your stuff and your roommate’s stuff. Decide what contents in the fridge are okay to share and which are off limits, and discuss whether or not you’ll share laundry soap and other things of that nature. Remember to ask before \\\"borrowing\\\" anything, no matter if it's trivial, and always take good care of any borrowed items.\\n1-6. Agree to respect each other’s privacy and personal space.\\nThis is especially important if you share a small living area. Discuss each of your preferences regarding personal space and privacy. For instance, you may not mind if your roommate comes into your room unannounced, but they might find you to be very rude for doing so. Talk about these kinds of things so that you know what to expect from each other.\\nAlternatively, your roommate may like to share their experiences and feelings with you, but you may not feel comfortable doing the same. Be upfront about your preferences.\\n1-7. Be prepared to compromise.\\nNot everyone has the same ideas about day to day living as you do. Recognize that you are sharing a space with someone that may have different values and preferences. Take their feelings into consideration, and ask that they do the same for you.\\nFor instance, if you’re dying to throw a party on Thursday night but your roommate has a final early the next morning, agree to postpone the bash till Friday evening, instead.\\n2. Living in Harmony\\n2-1. Communicate effectively\\nAs in any relationship, living with someone requires a great deal of work. Communication is key in making the relationship work well long-term, or even for a short time. If a problem comes up, it's better to talk about it right away than to try to ignore it and let it get worse. For example, say “Chris, it upsets me when I wake up to find all the milk gone. If you use the last of something, can you please add it to the list?”\\nIf you simply cannot communicate openly and there is tension all the time, you may be better off finding a new roommate.\\n2-2. Follow through with your obligations.\\nIf you say you're going to clean the kitchen, pay your roommate back for your share of the lease or utilities, or call the landlord about a repair, then you need to do so. Nothing is more frustrating than agreeing to something with someone then finding out they didn’t hold up their end of the bargain. Be responsible for yourself and follow through with what you say you will do.\\n2-3. Clean up after yourself.\\nThough you may have agreed that your roommate would take out the trash on Fridays, that doesn’t mean you can pile stuff around the can until Friday rolls around. If you have a spare minute, just take out the trash. Don't leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days on end, dump your things in the living room, or leave mountains of laundry on top of the washer. Try to agree on a minimum standard of cleanliness that you'll all abide by.\\n2-4. Spend time with your roommate.\\nSay hello and goodbye, ask them how their day was, and show interest in their life. Getting to know the person you live with helps you understand their perspective, and allows them to understand yours. It also makes it easier to deal with problems that you have with that person if you’ve already established a rapport with them.\\nTry to set a time in which you both can hang out at least once a week. Make dinner together, watch a movie, or go for a hike.\\nDo something nice for your roommate every so often—do their dishes, bake them cookies, or offer to give them a ride somewhere if they don't have a car.\\n2-5. Accommodate your roommate.\\nUnderstand what’s going on in your roommate’s life, and aim to be flexible and accommodating. If your roommate has a big test coming up, you should probably be quiet and let them study. If your roommate is busy and stressed with their job, give them some time and space to relax and unwind. After all, wouldn't you like your roommate to show you the same consideration?\\n3. Choosing a Compatible Roommate\\n3-1. Learn their habits.\\nIt can be tempting to select a roommate on the basis of how friendly they are, but you're better off judging them on the basis of day-to-day living compatibility. Find out if how often they’ll be home, what their work or school schedule is like, and whether they’re an early riser or a night owl. You should also consider how neat or messy the person is, as a sloppy roommate is sure to drive a neat-freak nuts.\\n3-2. Compare your preferences.\\nIt can be difficult to live with someone who enjoys absolute silence when you love to blast music at all hours of the day and night. Find out the person’s preferences before deciding to move in together. Ask what kind of noise level they prefer, what temperature they’re comfortable at, what kinds of foods they enjoy, if they’re sensitive to odors, and if they have any allergies. Be sure to find out if they smoke, drink, or use recreational drugs, too.\\n3-3. Account for personality differences.\\nSome people may have vastly different religious or political views that could cause conflict when living together. For example, someone who is very religious and conservative may not be okay with you bringing home one-night-stands. Some people may love to chat and discuss their feelings, while others prefer to keep things to themselves. The best roommate pairs will have similar views on these topics.\\n3-4. Check their rental history and financial situation.\\nAsk for rental references and discuss the financial commitment you’re both making. Make sure they are prepared and able to stick to the lease agreement as well as any utility bills. You don’t want to get stuck paying the full amount of rent because they don’t have enough money to cover their portion!\\nTips\\nControl the amount of noise you make. Wear headphones when you listen to music, and go into another room when you're on the phone. If you're going to engage in a noisy activity, it's a good idea to ask your roommate before you do it.\\nMake sure all roommates' understand the meaning of compromise and mutual respect. Just paying rent does not constitute a good roommate. Respect each other's space, privacy, and preferences.\\nDon't make your rules too rigid. Sometimes, you may need to let an issue go rather than fight over it. Dirty windows never hurt anyone, and a broken plate is not worth ruining a friendship.\\nWarnings\\nAlthough you should be flexible and accommodating, don’t let your roommate take advantage of you. Speak up for yourself when necessary.\\nRemember, not everyone is meant to live together, regardless of how good a friendship you might have.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Living with other people can be difficult, especially when each person comes from a different background and has their own ideas about how they want to live. Though having a roommate can be challenging at times, it can also be enjoyable and fun. Taking a few simple steps, including setting expectations early and sticking to them, will help you share your living space harmoniously.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Setting Expectations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discuss your expectations ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"Get together before or on the first day you move in together and talk about what each of you needs and wants from the other. This is your best chance to set boundaries with your roommate. This applies to finances, food, clothes, possessions, use of common areas, loud activities or parties, quiet hours, cleaning responsibilities, and so on.\\nFor example, say something like, “I don’t mind if you have people over, but can you try to keep the noise level down after 10 p.m.? I work the early shift so I have to be out the door at the crack of dawn.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a roommate agreement.\", \"描述\": \"Some people find it helpful to write up a \\\"roommate agreement\\\" in which you set down rules that everyone can agree to. This is a good way to make sure that everyone is clear on the rules and responsibilities. Once you’ve discussed your expectations, write up an agreement, then have each roommate sign and keep a copy of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a financial agreement.\", \"描述\": \"It’s a good idea to get a financial agreement in writing to avoid any issues down the road. Decide how you’ll divide up the rent and utility payments, and determine whether or not you’ll split the cable and internet bill. Make sure you’re okay with paying half the bills if your roommate constantly leaves the sprinklers on, racks up pay-per-view charges, or likes to have all the lights in the house on at all times, all of which can add extra costs to the total.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Divide up responsibilities.\", \"描述\": \"Make a plan to divide up responsibilities and chores between you and your roommate. For example, if your roommate is a good cook and you are not, ask them to cook if you’ll clean up afterward. It may also be a good idea to set up a chores schedule, where you will take turns cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, dusting, vacuuming, and so on.\\nYou could ask, “How do you feel about creating a chore schedule? For example, I could do dishes this week, and you could do them next week. Does that sound fair?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Decide what you will share.\", \"描述\": \"Make a clear delineation between your stuff and your roommate’s stuff. Decide what contents in the fridge are okay to share and which are off limits, and discuss whether or not you’ll share laundry soap and other things of that nature. Remember to ask before \\\"borrowing\\\" anything, no matter if it's trivial, and always take good care of any borrowed items.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Agree to respect each other’s privacy and personal space.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially important if you share a small living area. Discuss each of your preferences regarding personal space and privacy. For instance, you may not mind if your roommate comes into your room unannounced, but they might find you to be very rude for doing so. Talk about these kinds of things so that you know what to expect from each other.\\nAlternatively, your roommate may like to share their experiences and feelings with you, but you may not feel comfortable doing the same. Be upfront about your preferences.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to compromise.\", \"描述\": \"Not everyone has the same ideas about day to day living as you do. Recognize that you are sharing a space with someone that may have different values and preferences. Take their feelings into consideration, and ask that they do the same for you.\\nFor instance, if you’re dying to throw a party on Thursday night but your roommate has a final early the next morning, agree to postpone the bash till Friday evening, instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Living in Harmony\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicate effectively\", \"描述\": \"As in any relationship, living with someone requires a great deal of work. Communication is key in making the relationship work well long-term, or even for a short time. If a problem comes up, it's better to talk about it right away than to try to ignore it and let it get worse. For example, say “Chris, it upsets me when I wake up to find all the milk gone. If you use the last of something, can you please add it to the list?”\\nIf you simply cannot communicate openly and there is tension all the time, you may be better off finding a new roommate.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow through with your obligations.\", \"描述\": \"If you say you're going to clean the kitchen, pay your roommate back for your share of the lease or utilities, or call the landlord about a repair, then you need to do so. Nothing is more frustrating than agreeing to something with someone then finding out they didn’t hold up their end of the bargain. Be responsible for yourself and follow through with what you say you will do.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clean up after yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may have agreed that your roommate would take out the trash on Fridays, that doesn’t mean you can pile stuff around the can until Friday rolls around. If you have a spare minute, just take out the trash. Don't leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days on end, dump your things in the living room, or leave mountains of laundry on top of the washer. Try to agree on a minimum standard of cleanliness that you'll all abide by.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend time with your roommate.\", \"描述\": \"Say hello and goodbye, ask them how their day was, and show interest in their life. Getting to know the person you live with helps you understand their perspective, and allows them to understand yours. It also makes it easier to deal with problems that you have with that person if you’ve already established a rapport with them.\\nTry to set a time in which you both can hang out at least once a week. Make dinner together, watch a movie, or go for a hike.\\nDo something nice for your roommate every so often—do their dishes, bake them cookies, or offer to give them a ride somewhere if they don't have a car.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accommodate your roommate.\", \"描述\": \"Understand what’s going on in your roommate’s life, and aim to be flexible and accommodating. If your roommate has a big test coming up, you should probably be quiet and let them study. If your roommate is busy and stressed with their job, give them some time and space to relax and unwind. After all, wouldn't you like your roommate to show you the same consideration?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choosing a Compatible Roommate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn their habits.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tempting to select a roommate on the basis of how friendly they are, but you're better off judging them on the basis of day-to-day living compatibility. Find out if how often they’ll be home, what their work or school schedule is like, and whether they’re an early riser or a night owl. You should also consider how neat or messy the person is, as a sloppy roommate is sure to drive a neat-freak nuts.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compare your preferences.\", \"描述\": \"It can be difficult to live with someone who enjoys absolute silence when you love to blast music at all hours of the day and night. Find out the person’s preferences before deciding to move in together. Ask what kind of noise level they prefer, what temperature they’re comfortable at, what kinds of foods they enjoy, if they’re sensitive to odors, and if they have any allergies. Be sure to find out if they smoke, drink, or use recreational drugs, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Account for personality differences.\", \"描述\": \"Some people may have vastly different religious or political views that could cause conflict when living together. For example, someone who is very religious and conservative may not be okay with you bringing home one-night-stands. Some people may love to chat and discuss their feelings, while others prefer to keep things to themselves. The best roommate pairs will have similar views on these topics.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Check their rental history and financial situation.\", \"描述\": \"Ask for rental references and discuss the financial commitment you’re both making. Make sure they are prepared and able to stick to the lease agreement as well as any utility bills. You don’t want to get stuck paying the full amount of rent because they don’t have enough money to cover their portion!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Control the amount of noise you make. Wear headphones when you listen to music, and go into another room when you're on the phone. If you're going to engage in a noisy activity, it's a good idea to ask your roommate before you do it.\\n\", \"Make sure all roommates' understand the meaning of compromise and mutual respect. Just paying rent does not constitute a good roommate. Respect each other's space, privacy, and preferences.\\n\", \"Don't make your rules too rigid. Sometimes, you may need to let an issue go rather than fight over it. Dirty windows never hurt anyone, and a broken plate is not worth ruining a friendship.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Although you should be flexible and accommodating, don’t let your roommate take advantage of you. Speak up for yourself when necessary.\\n\", \"Remember, not everyone is meant to live together, regardless of how good a friendship you might have.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,511 |
How to Be a Good Runner
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1. Finding Your Stride
1-1. Experiment with your stride.
Your stride is the motion your legs take as they extend and strike the ground, carrying you along. Your natural running stride should feel easy, rather than awkward. Everyone’s stride is a little different, although the general form is similar for most people. Once you find your stride, you’ll minimize your risk of injury and gain speed.
There are several variables you can experiment with. Focus on how high your knees are in relation to your hips. Focus on how your feet strike the ground and how you push off to create your strides. Some people prefer to strike the ground heel-to-toe, while others prefer to do it toe-to-heel. Find what is comfortable and work with what feels best.
Generally, your ideal stride is the farthest distance in between steps that you can make without stretching or straining yourself consistently on a walk or run, but it really depends on your body structure and if you want to run for distance or speed. For a speed workout or race, your stride length should be fairly short, as you have more power with shorter strides. This takes more energy though, and so for a long distance run your stride length would increase. Your body tends to know its default stride length and so from there it's up to you to find out how much you should shorten.
When doing faster, short distance runs one would probably focus more on arm movement. Especially in sprints, where the arm movement essentially determines the speed.
1-2. Optimize your cadence.
Another factor worth considering is cadence, or steps per minute. The average cadence for a medium to long distance runner is around 180 steps/minute. Many training runners load up music playing devices with music that plays at 180 bpm to help align their steps with beats (see How to Create an Exercise Music Playlist). There are some sites that let you sort music by BPM.
While 180 steps/minute is an average to aim for, it's worth noting that not all experts and studies agree about how significant cadence is to speed or distance. It likely won't hurt to keep your steps per minute in mind when training, but don't be too concerned if your cadence doesn't match the average, as long as other measurements of progress are positive.
1-3. Adjust your stride to the terrain.
If you are running on rough trails, you have to adjust your stride to the terrain. Therefore, stride length will vary rather than being a static length.
If on a flat surface that has no obstacles, your stride should be based on what feels comfortable. In other words, a stride that feels like you are really stretching to maximize its length could become very tiring after a certain distance. You could also either experience sore muscles and tendons from over extending yourself. The effort required to maximize your stride length can also be stressful on your feet because you might be springing off each foot and could result in soreness or worse, injury.
If running downhill, you might want to increase your stride length to take advantage of gravity. But again, it needs to be done with caution in order to reduce the stresses resulting from controlling your balance and braking to maintain control.
Your stride length going uphill is going to be shorter than running on a flat or downhill surface, but how much shorter will be relative to the steepness of the hill, along with your conditioning, strength, and endurance. Take very short, slow, and deliberate strides to "power" up the hill. The pace might barely be above a walking pace but you'll still be using a running motion, not a walking motion. "Drive" your strides with your arms. As you continue training up that same hill, you will be able to run faster and your stride length will increase as you get stronger.
1-4. Don’t attempt to drastically change your form without instruction.
For example, if you've always been a heel-to-toe person, and you want to try striking toe-first, you should work with a running instructor before you try doing it for long distances. Changing your form can lead to injury.
1-5. Observe experienced runners.
Watch the ones who have a smooth easy stride. They appear as though they are almost effortlessly gliding along. The likelihood is those types of runners will finish at the head of the pack.
1-6. Go by feel.
If you are running and you can increase your cadence and decrease your stride length, go for it! And when that becomes too tiring, make a conscious decision to lengthen stride and lower cadence.
1-7. Directly after runs, many athletes do 'strides,' where they run about 100 meters (328 ft) with the goal of lengthening stride as much as possible while traveling as fast as possible.
This helps stretch out muscles after a hard workout.
2. Mastering the Basics
2-1. Have good posture.
Keep your torso centered over your hips and your back mostly straight, with just a slight lean forward. You don’t want to bend too far at the waist, but it’s fine to lean into your run, especially when you’re going uphill. Keep your shoulders back and your elbows bent, pumping them with every stride.
2-2. Remember to breathe.
Breathe in a way that feels natural and easy. Don’t hold your breath or forget to breathe, or you’ll end up gasping for air and slowing yourself down. In running, as in other types of exercise, your breathing is most efficient when you breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
2-3. Wear the right shoes.
When you’re just starting to run, any old tennis shoes will do. However, if you plan to run several times a week, and you want to start adding distance, it’s a good idea to invest in a pair of running shoes that fits you well and supports your feet. Your shoes shouldn't be so roomy that they slip around, but you also don’t want them to be uncomfortably tight. Leave about ¼ to ½ inch between your toe and the front end of the shoe.
Most running stores hire clerks who are runners themselves, and are trained to help you find the best fit for your foot. Try on a variety of shoes and test jog them around the store until you find a pair that feels comfortable.
Different shoes are made for feet with different types of arches. For some people, their ankle bends slightly out (under pronation) or slightly in (over pronation) while running, and there are shoes designed to correct these problems.
2-4. Dress for the weather.
If you’re over or underdressed for the weather, your run will not be as successful. A good rule of thumb is to aim to dress for weather about twenty degrees warmer than the actual day’s temperature. That way, when your body warms up, you’ll be able to run comfortably.
2-5. Stretch after you’re finished.
Stretching after your run will help keep your muscles from getting sore. If you wake up tight the next day, you’ll be less likely to run, so it’s a good idea to stretch every time. Do the following stretches after your cool-down:
Bend at the waist and touch your toes. Hold for 30 seconds, then straighten and do it again.
Bend one knee and grab your foot with your hand. Hold it against your bottom for 30 seconds while you balance on the other foot. Switch sides.
Push your toe against a chair or curb so that your foot bends back and your toes stretch toward your shins. Repeat with the other foot.
Roll your ankle for 30 seconds. Repeat with the other ankle.
2-6. Pump your arms.
They need to move in the same plane as the running direction. The elbows need to be moving in the same plane as the knees. The forearms should be parallel to the ground. The hands cannot be clenched. Avoid clenching the hands by making the "OK" sign with the thumb and index finger on each hand. The shoulders, arms, elbows, and wrists must be relaxed, not tensed up. The more the arms are tensed the more the torso gets tensed and the running motion becomes less efficient and you get tired sooner.
It is OK to occasionally drop the hands toward the ground and loosen up the arms like you are shaking rattles, but that is only occasionally just to facilitate looseness.
If your hands look like they are making upper-cut jabs and/or moving side-to-side, energy is being wasted with motions that are askew to the direction your legs are going.
3. Staying Motivated
3-1. Adjust your expectations.
A lot of people do not realize running takes dedication and consistency if significant progress is to be expected. In other words, if someone really wants to be a runner, he or she must carve out at least 3 days a week (4 to 6 would be much better) if one expects to run comfortably for 20 minutes or more for cardiovascular fitness, personal satisfaction, or even competition. Someone with no running or sports background cannot expect to run 10Ks or half or full marathons on just a few week's training unless he or she doesn't care how it feels the next day.
3-2. Set a schedule, and stick to it.
If you really want to be a good runner, the best way to improve is to steadily work toward your goals, never taking more than a few days off. If you tell yourself you’re going to run four days a week, 30 minutes a day, make a commitment to do it no matter what. Rain or shine, good mood or bad one, your mission is to get up and run. Slowly but surely, you’ll become a better runner.
It helps to have a set time for running that works with your schedule. Consider doing it before work, so you’ll have it done before your day really gets underway. Or if you want a great way to relax in the evening, schedule in running before dinner.
Plan to run under any circumstances. Say it’s spring break, and you've got a week off of work. You might be tempted to leave your running shoes in the closet, but you’ll feel a lot better at the end of the week if you stick to your schedule. Take your running shoes along, even if you’re going away on vacation. You’ll never finish a run and think to yourself, “I wish I hadn't done that.”
3-3. Don’t be judgmental of your abilities.
If you get upset with yourself because you aren't making as much progress as you wanted to, or you’re finding it hard to stay motivated, realize that there’s no reason to condemn yourself. Every day gives you the opportunity to make a fresh start, to get out there again and try a little harder. The more energy you put into becoming a better runner, the better you’ll get. No matter where you’re starting, whether you can run for five minutes or 10 miles (16 km), you will improve if you keep getting out there and running.
3-4. Occupy your hands.
It makes it less grueling if your hands are doing something. Yes, if you are a pro runner this is not the tip for you. You people already know how to keep your hands and intact, if you are a pro runner you probably don't need this article. But for the rest of you, gather around children because occupying yourself is great. Especially if you are just starting out.
3-5. Make your runs more fun.
If the prospect of running is starting to feel dreary, and you’re finding that you’d rather do almost anything else, it’s time to mix things up. One of the best things about running as a sport is that it’s incredibly versatile. You can run anywhere, with anyone, at any time, and feel a rush of endorphins without ever needing more equipment than your running shoes. Here are some ideas to add some fun to your run:
Run in a different place. If you always run on a track, find a trail and run there instead. If you always go to the same park, choose a new neighborhood to run around. Even running the same old route backwards can help your run feel fresh.
Listen to music while you run. Make a motivating mix full of songs with fast beats that you’ll be encouraged to keep up with. Do not listen so loudly you are unaware of your surroundings. You should be able to hear cars driving or bike bells. A car horn is too late.
Lose yourself in your thoughts. Many runners use the time to let their minds wander to far-off fantasies. Let your mind go to its happy place, whether it’s planning a weekend dinner party or dreaming about your next vacation. Vacation in your mind!
3-6. The after-pampering is so important!
3-7. Run to the beat of the drum!
Or... Your mouth! You have two feet so you can chant two syllable words. Candy! Bouncy! Runner!
Run with friends. Some people like to run alone, while others find it highly motivating to run with other people. Find some friends who want to meet up and run a few mornings a week, or join a club or team. You might do it for company, for distraction, or simply for some actual competition!
3-8. Sign up for a race.
Whether you sign up for a 5k, 10k, a 13-miler or a marathon, having a concrete goal will get you up and running in the weeks beforehand. Training for a race is exciting, since it comes with the reward of competing in a race and knowing you were able to finish. After you complete a race, sign up for another one and try to beat your previous time.
Keeping track of their personal best times is a very motivating activity for many road racers. If you find you like the feeling of training and racing, there are hundreds of opportunities to do so every year.
4. Getting Faster and Stronger
4-1. Try the run/walk method.
If you’re just getting started, this method can be a very effective way to help you increase your distance and the amount of time you’re on the road. Try running for a minute, then walking for a minute, then running for a minute, and so on. The next time you run, increase the amount of time you’re running and decrease the amount of time you’re walking. Eventually, you’ll be able to run the entire time.
4-2. Increase your time each week.
Try adding 10 minutes to your run every two weeks. Adding just ten minutes to your time will increase your distance by about a mile (depending on your pace), and after a month or two it’ll really add up.
If increasing 10 minutes every two weeks seems too slow, try doing five to 10 minutes every week instead.
Don’t overdo it, though. Adding too much time and distance too fast often results in injury.
4-3. Do speed exercises.
If you’re happy with your distance and you want to run faster, there are a variety of exercises that increase your muscle mass and allow you to gain speed. Doing these workouts will pay off during your distance runs, when you’ll notice you can cover the same ground in a shorter period of time.
Try hill repeats. Sprint up a hill, then jog down. Repeat for a total of four times. As you gain endurance, increase your repeats so you eventually do 16, with breaks in between.
Try tempo running. This is when you run at a pace that’s faster than normal, but not quite a sprint. Try pushing yourself to run a mile a minute or two faster than normal. As you gain endurance, increase the mileage.
Try track workouts. These involve sprinting short distances with breaks in between. For example, sprint 400 meters (1,312.3 ft) four times, then take a three-minute rest, then repeat.
4-4. Fuel your body with healthy food and plenty of water.
As you become a more serious runner, you’ll notice how important it is to keep your body in excellent shape by staying well hydrated and eating wholesome food. The difference between a run the morning after eating pizza and drinking beer and the morning after eating salad and grilled chicken is enormous.
Eat whole grains, lean meats, healthy fats and plenty of fruits and vegetables to keep your body in good running shape.
Avoid eating fast food, heavy fried foods, and highly processed foods like candy and snack food. These drag your body down and cause you to run more slowly than usual.
Tips
Your mind is everything when you're running, always stay focused and try to set a higher goal each time you run.
Don't give up if you aren't seeing results. You aren't going to see significant drops in your time right away. But, after a couple of weeks, you will notice yourself getting better if you are committed to running.
Maintain strong core muscles, as they do help a lot with running and running related injuries.
Warnings
If your shins hurting while running, stop running immediately. It will probably make it worse if you continue to run (it is normal, however, for muscles to ache during exercise).
Don't overdo it. Running too long of a run before you are ready for it will injure you.
Shin splints and other injuries to the legs are common for runners. Ice and rest to recover from injuries.
Run with proper form. Poor form will result in injury. Run in shoes that are "minimalist" because these will make you run naturally and adjust your form to be proper. Shoes that have lots of padding or are "springy" are terrible because they let you run with sloppy long strides that allow bad posture which increases injury rate.
Be careful about the terrain on which you are running on. Very bumpy, jagged paths can lead to ankle problems in the future.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding Your Stride\\n1-1. Experiment with your stride.\\nYour stride is the motion your legs take as they extend and strike the ground, carrying you along. Your natural running stride should feel easy, rather than awkward. Everyone’s stride is a little different, although the general form is similar for most people. Once you find your stride, you’ll minimize your risk of injury and gain speed.\\nThere are several variables you can experiment with. Focus on how high your knees are in relation to your hips. Focus on how your feet strike the ground and how you push off to create your strides. Some people prefer to strike the ground heel-to-toe, while others prefer to do it toe-to-heel. Find what is comfortable and work with what feels best.\\nGenerally, your ideal stride is the farthest distance in between steps that you can make without stretching or straining yourself consistently on a walk or run, but it really depends on your body structure and if you want to run for distance or speed. For a speed workout or race, your stride length should be fairly short, as you have more power with shorter strides. This takes more energy though, and so for a long distance run your stride length would increase. Your body tends to know its default stride length and so from there it's up to you to find out how much you should shorten.\\nWhen doing faster, short distance runs one would probably focus more on arm movement. Especially in sprints, where the arm movement essentially determines the speed.\\n1-2. Optimize your cadence.\\nAnother factor worth considering is cadence, or steps per minute. The average cadence for a medium to long distance runner is around 180 steps/minute. Many training runners load up music playing devices with music that plays at 180 bpm to help align their steps with beats (see How to Create an Exercise Music Playlist). There are some sites that let you sort music by BPM.\\nWhile 180 steps/minute is an average to aim for, it's worth noting that not all experts and studies agree about how significant cadence is to speed or distance. It likely won't hurt to keep your steps per minute in mind when training, but don't be too concerned if your cadence doesn't match the average, as long as other measurements of progress are positive.\\n1-3. Adjust your stride to the terrain.\\nIf you are running on rough trails, you have to adjust your stride to the terrain. Therefore, stride length will vary rather than being a static length.\\nIf on a flat surface that has no obstacles, your stride should be based on what feels comfortable. In other words, a stride that feels like you are really stretching to maximize its length could become very tiring after a certain distance. You could also either experience sore muscles and tendons from over extending yourself. The effort required to maximize your stride length can also be stressful on your feet because you might be springing off each foot and could result in soreness or worse, injury.\\nIf running downhill, you might want to increase your stride length to take advantage of gravity. But again, it needs to be done with caution in order to reduce the stresses resulting from controlling your balance and braking to maintain control.\\nYour stride length going uphill is going to be shorter than running on a flat or downhill surface, but how much shorter will be relative to the steepness of the hill, along with your conditioning, strength, and endurance. Take very short, slow, and deliberate strides to \\\"power\\\" up the hill. The pace might barely be above a walking pace but you'll still be using a running motion, not a walking motion. \\\"Drive\\\" your strides with your arms. As you continue training up that same hill, you will be able to run faster and your stride length will increase as you get stronger.\\n1-4. Don’t attempt to drastically change your form without instruction.\\nFor example, if you've always been a heel-to-toe person, and you want to try striking toe-first, you should work with a running instructor before you try doing it for long distances. Changing your form can lead to injury.\\n1-5. Observe experienced runners.\\nWatch the ones who have a smooth easy stride. They appear as though they are almost effortlessly gliding along. The likelihood is those types of runners will finish at the head of the pack.\\n1-6. Go by feel.\\nIf you are running and you can increase your cadence and decrease your stride length, go for it! And when that becomes too tiring, make a conscious decision to lengthen stride and lower cadence.\\n1-7. Directly after runs, many athletes do 'strides,' where they run about 100 meters (328 ft) with the goal of lengthening stride as much as possible while traveling as fast as possible.\\nThis helps stretch out muscles after a hard workout.\\n2. Mastering the Basics\\n2-1. Have good posture.\\nKeep your torso centered over your hips and your back mostly straight, with just a slight lean forward. You don’t want to bend too far at the waist, but it’s fine to lean into your run, especially when you’re going uphill. Keep your shoulders back and your elbows bent, pumping them with every stride.\\n2-2. Remember to breathe.\\nBreathe in a way that feels natural and easy. Don’t hold your breath or forget to breathe, or you’ll end up gasping for air and slowing yourself down. In running, as in other types of exercise, your breathing is most efficient when you breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth.\\n2-3. Wear the right shoes.\\nWhen you’re just starting to run, any old tennis shoes will do. However, if you plan to run several times a week, and you want to start adding distance, it’s a good idea to invest in a pair of running shoes that fits you well and supports your feet. Your shoes shouldn't be so roomy that they slip around, but you also don’t want them to be uncomfortably tight. Leave about ¼ to ½ inch between your toe and the front end of the shoe.\\nMost running stores hire clerks who are runners themselves, and are trained to help you find the best fit for your foot. Try on a variety of shoes and test jog them around the store until you find a pair that feels comfortable.\\nDifferent shoes are made for feet with different types of arches. For some people, their ankle bends slightly out (under pronation) or slightly in (over pronation) while running, and there are shoes designed to correct these problems.\\n2-4. Dress for the weather.\\nIf you’re over or underdressed for the weather, your run will not be as successful. A good rule of thumb is to aim to dress for weather about twenty degrees warmer than the actual day’s temperature. That way, when your body warms up, you’ll be able to run comfortably.\\n2-5. Stretch after you’re finished.\\nStretching after your run will help keep your muscles from getting sore. If you wake up tight the next day, you’ll be less likely to run, so it’s a good idea to stretch every time. Do the following stretches after your cool-down:\\nBend at the waist and touch your toes. Hold for 30 seconds, then straighten and do it again.\\nBend one knee and grab your foot with your hand. Hold it against your bottom for 30 seconds while you balance on the other foot. Switch sides.\\nPush your toe against a chair or curb so that your foot bends back and your toes stretch toward your shins. Repeat with the other foot.\\nRoll your ankle for 30 seconds. Repeat with the other ankle.\\n2-6. Pump your arms.\\nThey need to move in the same plane as the running direction. The elbows need to be moving in the same plane as the knees. The forearms should be parallel to the ground. The hands cannot be clenched. Avoid clenching the hands by making the \\\"OK\\\" sign with the thumb and index finger on each hand. The shoulders, arms, elbows, and wrists must be relaxed, not tensed up. The more the arms are tensed the more the torso gets tensed and the running motion becomes less efficient and you get tired sooner.\\nIt is OK to occasionally drop the hands toward the ground and loosen up the arms like you are shaking rattles, but that is only occasionally just to facilitate looseness.\\nIf your hands look like they are making upper-cut jabs and/or moving side-to-side, energy is being wasted with motions that are askew to the direction your legs are going.\\n3. Staying Motivated\\n3-1. Adjust your expectations.\\nA lot of people do not realize running takes dedication and consistency if significant progress is to be expected. In other words, if someone really wants to be a runner, he or she must carve out at least 3 days a week (4 to 6 would be much better) if one expects to run comfortably for 20 minutes or more for cardiovascular fitness, personal satisfaction, or even competition. Someone with no running or sports background cannot expect to run 10Ks or half or full marathons on just a few week's training unless he or she doesn't care how it feels the next day.\\n3-2. Set a schedule, and stick to it.\\nIf you really want to be a good runner, the best way to improve is to steadily work toward your goals, never taking more than a few days off. If you tell yourself you’re going to run four days a week, 30 minutes a day, make a commitment to do it no matter what. Rain or shine, good mood or bad one, your mission is to get up and run. Slowly but surely, you’ll become a better runner.\\nIt helps to have a set time for running that works with your schedule. Consider doing it before work, so you’ll have it done before your day really gets underway. Or if you want a great way to relax in the evening, schedule in running before dinner.\\nPlan to run under any circumstances. Say it’s spring break, and you've got a week off of work. You might be tempted to leave your running shoes in the closet, but you’ll feel a lot better at the end of the week if you stick to your schedule. Take your running shoes along, even if you’re going away on vacation. You’ll never finish a run and think to yourself, “I wish I hadn't done that.”\\n3-3. Don’t be judgmental of your abilities.\\nIf you get upset with yourself because you aren't making as much progress as you wanted to, or you’re finding it hard to stay motivated, realize that there’s no reason to condemn yourself. Every day gives you the opportunity to make a fresh start, to get out there again and try a little harder. The more energy you put into becoming a better runner, the better you’ll get. No matter where you’re starting, whether you can run for five minutes or 10 miles (16 km), you will improve if you keep getting out there and running.\\n3-4. Occupy your hands.\\nIt makes it less grueling if your hands are doing something. Yes, if you are a pro runner this is not the tip for you. You people already know how to keep your hands and intact, if you are a pro runner you probably don't need this article. But for the rest of you, gather around children because occupying yourself is great. Especially if you are just starting out.\\n3-5. Make your runs more fun.\\nIf the prospect of running is starting to feel dreary, and you’re finding that you’d rather do almost anything else, it’s time to mix things up. One of the best things about running as a sport is that it’s incredibly versatile. You can run anywhere, with anyone, at any time, and feel a rush of endorphins without ever needing more equipment than your running shoes. Here are some ideas to add some fun to your run:\\nRun in a different place. If you always run on a track, find a trail and run there instead. If you always go to the same park, choose a new neighborhood to run around. Even running the same old route backwards can help your run feel fresh.\\nListen to music while you run. Make a motivating mix full of songs with fast beats that you’ll be encouraged to keep up with. Do not listen so loudly you are unaware of your surroundings. You should be able to hear cars driving or bike bells. A car horn is too late.\\nLose yourself in your thoughts. Many runners use the time to let their minds wander to far-off fantasies. Let your mind go to its happy place, whether it’s planning a weekend dinner party or dreaming about your next vacation. Vacation in your mind!\\n3-6. The after-pampering is so important!\\n\\n3-7. Run to the beat of the drum!\\nOr... Your mouth! You have two feet so you can chant two syllable words. Candy! Bouncy! Runner!\\nRun with friends. Some people like to run alone, while others find it highly motivating to run with other people. Find some friends who want to meet up and run a few mornings a week, or join a club or team. You might do it for company, for distraction, or simply for some actual competition!\\n3-8. Sign up for a race.\\nWhether you sign up for a 5k, 10k, a 13-miler or a marathon, having a concrete goal will get you up and running in the weeks beforehand. Training for a race is exciting, since it comes with the reward of competing in a race and knowing you were able to finish. After you complete a race, sign up for another one and try to beat your previous time.\\nKeeping track of their personal best times is a very motivating activity for many road racers. If you find you like the feeling of training and racing, there are hundreds of opportunities to do so every year.\\n4. Getting Faster and Stronger\\n4-1. Try the run/walk method.\\nIf you’re just getting started, this method can be a very effective way to help you increase your distance and the amount of time you’re on the road. Try running for a minute, then walking for a minute, then running for a minute, and so on. The next time you run, increase the amount of time you’re running and decrease the amount of time you’re walking. Eventually, you’ll be able to run the entire time.\\n4-2. Increase your time each week.\\nTry adding 10 minutes to your run every two weeks. Adding just ten minutes to your time will increase your distance by about a mile (depending on your pace), and after a month or two it’ll really add up.\\nIf increasing 10 minutes every two weeks seems too slow, try doing five to 10 minutes every week instead.\\nDon’t overdo it, though. Adding too much time and distance too fast often results in injury.\\n4-3. Do speed exercises.\\nIf you’re happy with your distance and you want to run faster, there are a variety of exercises that increase your muscle mass and allow you to gain speed. Doing these workouts will pay off during your distance runs, when you’ll notice you can cover the same ground in a shorter period of time.\\nTry hill repeats. Sprint up a hill, then jog down. Repeat for a total of four times. As you gain endurance, increase your repeats so you eventually do 16, with breaks in between.\\nTry tempo running. This is when you run at a pace that’s faster than normal, but not quite a sprint. Try pushing yourself to run a mile a minute or two faster than normal. As you gain endurance, increase the mileage.\\nTry track workouts. These involve sprinting short distances with breaks in between. For example, sprint 400 meters (1,312.3 ft) four times, then take a three-minute rest, then repeat.\\n4-4. Fuel your body with healthy food and plenty of water.\\nAs you become a more serious runner, you’ll notice how important it is to keep your body in excellent shape by staying well hydrated and eating wholesome food. The difference between a run the morning after eating pizza and drinking beer and the morning after eating salad and grilled chicken is enormous.\\nEat whole grains, lean meats, healthy fats and plenty of fruits and vegetables to keep your body in good running shape.\\nAvoid eating fast food, heavy fried foods, and highly processed foods like candy and snack food. These drag your body down and cause you to run more slowly than usual.\\nTips\\nYour mind is everything when you're running, always stay focused and try to set a higher goal each time you run.\\nDon't give up if you aren't seeing results. You aren't going to see significant drops in your time right away. But, after a couple of weeks, you will notice yourself getting better if you are committed to running.\\nMaintain strong core muscles, as they do help a lot with running and running related injuries.\\nWarnings\\nIf your shins hurting while running, stop running immediately. It will probably make it worse if you continue to run (it is normal, however, for muscles to ache during exercise).\\nDon't overdo it. Running too long of a run before you are ready for it will injure you.\\nShin splints and other injuries to the legs are common for runners. Ice and rest to recover from injuries.\\nRun with proper form. Poor form will result in injury. Run in shoes that are \\\"minimalist\\\" because these will make you run naturally and adjust your form to be proper. Shoes that have lots of padding or are \\\"springy\\\" are terrible because they let you run with sloppy long strides that allow bad posture which increases injury rate.\\nBe careful about the terrain on which you are running on. Very bumpy, jagged paths can lead to ankle problems in the future.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you ready to advance your running skills so you can increase your distance and strength?! If you want to become a good runner, make sure your form is solid and you're wearing the right equipment before you start adding miles to your routine. Set a schedule and find ways to motivate yourself to stick to it, rain or shine. Finally, train to improve your endurance and speed by using techniques like hill sprints, tempo running and track workouts. No matter where you're starting from, you can be a better runner if you make running a priority.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding Your Stride\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Experiment with your stride.\", \"描述\": \"Your stride is the motion your legs take as they extend and strike the ground, carrying you along. Your natural running stride should feel easy, rather than awkward. Everyone’s stride is a little different, although the general form is similar for most people. Once you find your stride, you’ll minimize your risk of injury and gain speed.\\nThere are several variables you can experiment with. Focus on how high your knees are in relation to your hips. Focus on how your feet strike the ground and how you push off to create your strides. Some people prefer to strike the ground heel-to-toe, while others prefer to do it toe-to-heel. Find what is comfortable and work with what feels best.\\nGenerally, your ideal stride is the farthest distance in between steps that you can make without stretching or straining yourself consistently on a walk or run, but it really depends on your body structure and if you want to run for distance or speed. For a speed workout or race, your stride length should be fairly short, as you have more power with shorter strides. This takes more energy though, and so for a long distance run your stride length would increase. Your body tends to know its default stride length and so from there it's up to you to find out how much you should shorten.\\nWhen doing faster, short distance runs one would probably focus more on arm movement. Especially in sprints, where the arm movement essentially determines the speed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Optimize your cadence.\", \"描述\": \"Another factor worth considering is cadence, or steps per minute. The average cadence for a medium to long distance runner is around 180 steps/minute. Many training runners load up music playing devices with music that plays at 180 bpm to help align their steps with beats (see How to Create an Exercise Music Playlist). There are some sites that let you sort music by BPM.\\nWhile 180 steps/minute is an average to aim for, it's worth noting that not all experts and studies agree about how significant cadence is to speed or distance. It likely won't hurt to keep your steps per minute in mind when training, but don't be too concerned if your cadence doesn't match the average, as long as other measurements of progress are positive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Adjust your stride to the terrain.\", \"描述\": \"If you are running on rough trails, you have to adjust your stride to the terrain. Therefore, stride length will vary rather than being a static length.\\nIf on a flat surface that has no obstacles, your stride should be based on what feels comfortable. In other words, a stride that feels like you are really stretching to maximize its length could become very tiring after a certain distance. You could also either experience sore muscles and tendons from over extending yourself. The effort required to maximize your stride length can also be stressful on your feet because you might be springing off each foot and could result in soreness or worse, injury.\\nIf running downhill, you might want to increase your stride length to take advantage of gravity. But again, it needs to be done with caution in order to reduce the stresses resulting from controlling your balance and braking to maintain control.\\nYour stride length going uphill is going to be shorter than running on a flat or downhill surface, but how much shorter will be relative to the steepness of the hill, along with your conditioning, strength, and endurance. Take very short, slow, and deliberate strides to \\\"power\\\" up the hill. The pace might barely be above a walking pace but you'll still be using a running motion, not a walking motion. \\\"Drive\\\" your strides with your arms. As you continue training up that same hill, you will be able to run faster and your stride length will increase as you get stronger.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t attempt to drastically change your form without instruction.\", \"描述\": \"For example, if you've always been a heel-to-toe person, and you want to try striking toe-first, you should work with a running instructor before you try doing it for long distances. Changing your form can lead to injury.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Observe experienced runners.\", \"描述\": \"Watch the ones who have a smooth easy stride. They appear as though they are almost effortlessly gliding along. The likelihood is those types of runners will finish at the head of the pack.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Go by feel.\", \"描述\": \"If you are running and you can increase your cadence and decrease your stride length, go for it! And when that becomes too tiring, make a conscious decision to lengthen stride and lower cadence.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Directly after runs, many athletes do 'strides,' where they run about 100 meters (328 ft) with the goal of lengthening stride as much as possible while traveling as fast as possible.\", \"描述\": \"This helps stretch out muscles after a hard workout.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mastering the Basics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have good posture.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your torso centered over your hips and your back mostly straight, with just a slight lean forward. You don’t want to bend too far at the waist, but it’s fine to lean into your run, especially when you’re going uphill. Keep your shoulders back and your elbows bent, pumping them with every stride.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember to breathe.\", \"描述\": \"Breathe in a way that feels natural and easy. Don’t hold your breath or forget to breathe, or you’ll end up gasping for air and slowing yourself down. In running, as in other types of exercise, your breathing is most efficient when you breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear the right shoes.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re just starting to run, any old tennis shoes will do. However, if you plan to run several times a week, and you want to start adding distance, it’s a good idea to invest in a pair of running shoes that fits you well and supports your feet. Your shoes shouldn't be so roomy that they slip around, but you also don’t want them to be uncomfortably tight. Leave about ¼ to ½ inch between your toe and the front end of the shoe.\\nMost running stores hire clerks who are runners themselves, and are trained to help you find the best fit for your foot. Try on a variety of shoes and test jog them around the store until you find a pair that feels comfortable.\\nDifferent shoes are made for feet with different types of arches. For some people, their ankle bends slightly out (under pronation) or slightly in (over pronation) while running, and there are shoes designed to correct these problems.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dress for the weather.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re over or underdressed for the weather, your run will not be as successful. A good rule of thumb is to aim to dress for weather about twenty degrees warmer than the actual day’s temperature. That way, when your body warms up, you’ll be able to run comfortably.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stretch after you’re finished.\", \"描述\": \"Stretching after your run will help keep your muscles from getting sore. If you wake up tight the next day, you’ll be less likely to run, so it’s a good idea to stretch every time. Do the following stretches after your cool-down:\\nBend at the waist and touch your toes. Hold for 30 seconds, then straighten and do it again.\\nBend one knee and grab your foot with your hand. Hold it against your bottom for 30 seconds while you balance on the other foot. Switch sides.\\nPush your toe against a chair or curb so that your foot bends back and your toes stretch toward your shins. Repeat with the other foot.\\nRoll your ankle for 30 seconds. Repeat with the other ankle.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Pump your arms.\", \"描述\": \"They need to move in the same plane as the running direction. The elbows need to be moving in the same plane as the knees. The forearms should be parallel to the ground. The hands cannot be clenched. Avoid clenching the hands by making the \\\"OK\\\" sign with the thumb and index finger on each hand. The shoulders, arms, elbows, and wrists must be relaxed, not tensed up. The more the arms are tensed the more the torso gets tensed and the running motion becomes less efficient and you get tired sooner.\\nIt is OK to occasionally drop the hands toward the ground and loosen up the arms like you are shaking rattles, but that is only occasionally just to facilitate looseness.\\nIf your hands look like they are making upper-cut jabs and/or moving side-to-side, energy is being wasted with motions that are askew to the direction your legs are going.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying Motivated\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Adjust your expectations.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of people do not realize running takes dedication and consistency if significant progress is to be expected. In other words, if someone really wants to be a runner, he or she must carve out at least 3 days a week (4 to 6 would be much better) if one expects to run comfortably for 20 minutes or more for cardiovascular fitness, personal satisfaction, or even competition. Someone with no running or sports background cannot expect to run 10Ks or half or full marathons on just a few week's training unless he or she doesn't care how it feels the next day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set a schedule, and stick to it.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be a good runner, the best way to improve is to steadily work toward your goals, never taking more than a few days off. If you tell yourself you’re going to run four days a week, 30 minutes a day, make a commitment to do it no matter what. Rain or shine, good mood or bad one, your mission is to get up and run. Slowly but surely, you’ll become a better runner.\\nIt helps to have a set time for running that works with your schedule. Consider doing it before work, so you’ll have it done before your day really gets underway. Or if you want a great way to relax in the evening, schedule in running before dinner.\\nPlan to run under any circumstances. Say it’s spring break, and you've got a week off of work. You might be tempted to leave your running shoes in the closet, but you’ll feel a lot better at the end of the week if you stick to your schedule. Take your running shoes along, even if you’re going away on vacation. You’ll never finish a run and think to yourself, “I wish I hadn't done that.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t be judgmental of your abilities.\", \"描述\": \"If you get upset with yourself because you aren't making as much progress as you wanted to, or you’re finding it hard to stay motivated, realize that there’s no reason to condemn yourself. Every day gives you the opportunity to make a fresh start, to get out there again and try a little harder. The more energy you put into becoming a better runner, the better you’ll get. No matter where you’re starting, whether you can run for five minutes or 10 miles (16 km), you will improve if you keep getting out there and running.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Occupy your hands.\", \"描述\": \"It makes it less grueling if your hands are doing something. Yes, if you are a pro runner this is not the tip for you. You people already know how to keep your hands and intact, if you are a pro runner you probably don't need this article. But for the rest of you, gather around children because occupying yourself is great. Especially if you are just starting out.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make your runs more fun.\", \"描述\": \"If the prospect of running is starting to feel dreary, and you’re finding that you’d rather do almost anything else, it’s time to mix things up. One of the best things about running as a sport is that it’s incredibly versatile. You can run anywhere, with anyone, at any time, and feel a rush of endorphins without ever needing more equipment than your running shoes. Here are some ideas to add some fun to your run:\\nRun in a different place. If you always run on a track, find a trail and run there instead. If you always go to the same park, choose a new neighborhood to run around. Even running the same old route backwards can help your run feel fresh.\\nListen to music while you run. Make a motivating mix full of songs with fast beats that you’ll be encouraged to keep up with. Do not listen so loudly you are unaware of your surroundings. You should be able to hear cars driving or bike bells. A car horn is too late.\\nLose yourself in your thoughts. Many runners use the time to let their minds wander to far-off fantasies. Let your mind go to its happy place, whether it’s planning a weekend dinner party or dreaming about your next vacation. Vacation in your mind!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"The after-pampering is so important!\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Run to the beat of the drum!\", \"描述\": \"Or... Your mouth! You have two feet so you can chant two syllable words. Candy! Bouncy! Runner!\\nRun with friends. Some people like to run alone, while others find it highly motivating to run with other people. Find some friends who want to meet up and run a few mornings a week, or join a club or team. You might do it for company, for distraction, or simply for some actual competition!\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Sign up for a race.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you sign up for a 5k, 10k, a 13-miler or a marathon, having a concrete goal will get you up and running in the weeks beforehand. Training for a race is exciting, since it comes with the reward of competing in a race and knowing you were able to finish. After you complete a race, sign up for another one and try to beat your previous time.\\nKeeping track of their personal best times is a very motivating activity for many road racers. If you find you like the feeling of training and racing, there are hundreds of opportunities to do so every year.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Getting Faster and Stronger\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try the run/walk method.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re just getting started, this method can be a very effective way to help you increase your distance and the amount of time you’re on the road. Try running for a minute, then walking for a minute, then running for a minute, and so on. The next time you run, increase the amount of time you’re running and decrease the amount of time you’re walking. Eventually, you’ll be able to run the entire time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Increase your time each week.\", \"描述\": \"Try adding 10 minutes to your run every two weeks. Adding just ten minutes to your time will increase your distance by about a mile (depending on your pace), and after a month or two it’ll really add up.\\nIf increasing 10 minutes every two weeks seems too slow, try doing five to 10 minutes every week instead.\\nDon’t overdo it, though. Adding too much time and distance too fast often results in injury.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do speed exercises.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re happy with your distance and you want to run faster, there are a variety of exercises that increase your muscle mass and allow you to gain speed. Doing these workouts will pay off during your distance runs, when you’ll notice you can cover the same ground in a shorter period of time.\\nTry hill repeats. Sprint up a hill, then jog down. Repeat for a total of four times. As you gain endurance, increase your repeats so you eventually do 16, with breaks in between.\\nTry tempo running. This is when you run at a pace that’s faster than normal, but not quite a sprint. Try pushing yourself to run a mile a minute or two faster than normal. As you gain endurance, increase the mileage.\\nTry track workouts. These involve sprinting short distances with breaks in between. For example, sprint 400 meters (1,312.3 ft) four times, then take a three-minute rest, then repeat.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fuel your body with healthy food and plenty of water.\", \"描述\": \"As you become a more serious runner, you’ll notice how important it is to keep your body in excellent shape by staying well hydrated and eating wholesome food. The difference between a run the morning after eating pizza and drinking beer and the morning after eating salad and grilled chicken is enormous.\\nEat whole grains, lean meats, healthy fats and plenty of fruits and vegetables to keep your body in good running shape.\\nAvoid eating fast food, heavy fried foods, and highly processed foods like candy and snack food. These drag your body down and cause you to run more slowly than usual.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Your mind is everything when you're running, always stay focused and try to set a higher goal each time you run.\\n\", \"Don't give up if you aren't seeing results. You aren't going to see significant drops in your time right away. But, after a couple of weeks, you will notice yourself getting better if you are committed to running.\\n\", \"Maintain strong core muscles, as they do help a lot with running and running related injuries.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If your shins hurting while running, stop running immediately. It will probably make it worse if you continue to run (it is normal, however, for muscles to ache during exercise).\\n\", \"Don't overdo it. Running too long of a run before you are ready for it will injure you.\\n\", \"Shin splints and other injuries to the legs are common for runners. Ice and rest to recover from injuries.\\n\", \"Run with proper form. Poor form will result in injury. Run in shoes that are \\\"minimalist\\\" because these will make you run naturally and adjust your form to be proper. Shoes that have lots of padding or are \\\"springy\\\" are terrible because they let you run with sloppy long strides that allow bad posture which increases injury rate.\\n\", \"Be careful about the terrain on which you are running on. Very bumpy, jagged paths can lead to ankle problems in the future.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,512 |
How to Be a Good Santa Claus
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1. Steps
1-1. Get the costume.
A red Santa hat, a red jacket with some white fur on it, a black belt, red pants with white fur on the bottoms, and a pair of black boots is great. If you do not have a long, white beard, do not forget it. Buy one that is as realistic as possible.
1-2. Get the Santa attitude.
He is always smiling, so you should never be frowning. Smile, laugh, and "ho ho ho" as much as possible. Some people feel self-conscious about acting so jolly, but if you have a great costume on, people will not know it is you anyhow. Also, be sure to speak in a deep, jolly voice to sound like Santa.
1-3. If you are going to interact with children, make sure to do it right.
If they are sitting on your lap, make sure to ask them what they want for Christmas. When they tell you, try to really listen so you can give them an answer (sometimes, even if you cannot understand them, you can simply laugh and say something like, "That is great!"). Give them a hug or a high five. You can also give a thumbs up; children love that stuff. Some will present the problem of saying you are not the real Santa. You can deal with this problem one way or another.
1-4. Fight for your Santa right.
Tell the child, "Of course I am the real Santa! Ho ho ho!" and give them a candy cane so they will not say anything else that could blow your cover.
1-5. Confess and say to the child, "That is right, son / sweetie.
I am just a stand-in. The real Santa is busy making toys for everyone in his workshop at the North Pole, so he asked me to come down and visit you. / I thought I would fill in for him." This works well, especially if you have a fake beard because sometimes, that occasional bratty child will try to rip off your fake beard to prove you are not Santa. Plus, the real Santa would want people to spread Christmas cheer, including dressing up as him.
1-6. Never yell, swear, or get angry at anyone or any children that come to sit on your lap.
It is the number one rule of being a good Santa. Santa loves all children.
1-7. Buy a big red sack and fill it with candy canes.
If you are having children sit on your lap or take a picture with you, give them a candy cane from your sack after each child tells you what they want for Christmas and / or take a picture with you. They just love it. If you are at an adult Christmas party, bounce around happily and give candy canes to random adults. Add in the "Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!" line, and you will most likely make them smile.
Tips
Do not promise that people will get specific gifts because doing so can really hurt the Santa image and might make you look like a liar. The best thing you can do is say that you will try hard.
Do not forget to take a picture of yourself before you get out of the costume. It will make a good Christmas card to send out to family and friends.
Basically, your role as a Santa impersonator is to help spread the Christmas cheer to everyone you meet (even to yourself). The real Santa is always impressed by spreading Christmas cheer. This also gives you extra points on the nice list and a potential visit from Santa.
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{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Get the costume.\\nA red Santa hat, a red jacket with some white fur on it, a black belt, red pants with white fur on the bottoms, and a pair of black boots is great. If you do not have a long, white beard, do not forget it. Buy one that is as realistic as possible.\\n1-2. Get the Santa attitude.\\nHe is always smiling, so you should never be frowning. Smile, laugh, and \\\"ho ho ho\\\" as much as possible. Some people feel self-conscious about acting so jolly, but if you have a great costume on, people will not know it is you anyhow. Also, be sure to speak in a deep, jolly voice to sound like Santa.\\n1-3. If you are going to interact with children, make sure to do it right.\\nIf they are sitting on your lap, make sure to ask them what they want for Christmas. When they tell you, try to really listen so you can give them an answer (sometimes, even if you cannot understand them, you can simply laugh and say something like, \\\"That is great!\\\"). Give them a hug or a high five. You can also give a thumbs up; children love that stuff. Some will present the problem of saying you are not the real Santa. You can deal with this problem one way or another.\\n1-4. Fight for your Santa right.\\nTell the child, \\\"Of course I am the real Santa! Ho ho ho!\\\" and give them a candy cane so they will not say anything else that could blow your cover.\\n1-5. Confess and say to the child, \\\"That is right, son / sweetie.\\nI am just a stand-in. The real Santa is busy making toys for everyone in his workshop at the North Pole, so he asked me to come down and visit you. / I thought I would fill in for him.\\\" This works well, especially if you have a fake beard because sometimes, that occasional bratty child will try to rip off your fake beard to prove you are not Santa. Plus, the real Santa would want people to spread Christmas cheer, including dressing up as him.\\n1-6. Never yell, swear, or get angry at anyone or any children that come to sit on your lap.\\nIt is the number one rule of being a good Santa. Santa loves all children.\\n1-7. Buy a big red sack and fill it with candy canes.\\nIf you are having children sit on your lap or take a picture with you, give them a candy cane from your sack after each child tells you what they want for Christmas and / or take a picture with you. They just love it. If you are at an adult Christmas party, bounce around happily and give candy canes to random adults. Add in the \\\"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!\\\" line, and you will most likely make them smile.\\nTips\\nDo not promise that people will get specific gifts because doing so can really hurt the Santa image and might make you look like a liar. The best thing you can do is say that you will try hard.\\nDo not forget to take a picture of yourself before you get out of the costume. It will make a good Christmas card to send out to family and friends.\\nBasically, your role as a Santa impersonator is to help spread the Christmas cheer to everyone you meet (even to yourself). The real Santa is always impressed by spreading Christmas cheer. This also gives you extra points on the nice list and a potential visit from Santa.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you are dressing as Santa for a Christmas party or as a holiday job, fortunate you. Who would not want to pretend to be him? However, you might be a bit worried you will not be a convincing Santa. Do not worry, just read on.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get the costume.\", \"描述\": \"A red Santa hat, a red jacket with some white fur on it, a black belt, red pants with white fur on the bottoms, and a pair of black boots is great. If you do not have a long, white beard, do not forget it. Buy one that is as realistic as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get the Santa attitude.\", \"描述\": \"He is always smiling, so you should never be frowning. Smile, laugh, and \\\"ho ho ho\\\" as much as possible. Some people feel self-conscious about acting so jolly, but if you have a great costume on, people will not know it is you anyhow. Also, be sure to speak in a deep, jolly voice to sound like Santa.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"If you are going to interact with children, make sure to do it right.\", \"描述\": \"If they are sitting on your lap, make sure to ask them what they want for Christmas. When they tell you, try to really listen so you can give them an answer (sometimes, even if you cannot understand them, you can simply laugh and say something like, \\\"That is great!\\\"). Give them a hug or a high five. You can also give a thumbs up; children love that stuff. Some will present the problem of saying you are not the real Santa. You can deal with this problem one way or another.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fight for your Santa right.\", \"描述\": \"Tell the child, \\\"Of course I am the real Santa! Ho ho ho!\\\" and give them a candy cane so they will not say anything else that could blow your cover.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Confess and say to the child, \\\"That is right, son / sweetie.\", \"描述\": \"I am just a stand-in. The real Santa is busy making toys for everyone in his workshop at the North Pole, so he asked me to come down and visit you. / I thought I would fill in for him.\\\" This works well, especially if you have a fake beard because sometimes, that occasional bratty child will try to rip off your fake beard to prove you are not Santa. Plus, the real Santa would want people to spread Christmas cheer, including dressing up as him.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Never yell, swear, or get angry at anyone or any children that come to sit on your lap.\", \"描述\": \"It is the number one rule of being a good Santa. Santa loves all children.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Buy a big red sack and fill it with candy canes.\", \"描述\": \"If you are having children sit on your lap or take a picture with you, give them a candy cane from your sack after each child tells you what they want for Christmas and / or take a picture with you. They just love it. If you are at an adult Christmas party, bounce around happily and give candy canes to random adults. Add in the \\\"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!\\\" line, and you will most likely make them smile.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do not promise that people will get specific gifts because doing so can really hurt the Santa image and might make you look like a liar. The best thing you can do is say that you will try hard.\\n\", \"Do not forget to take a picture of yourself before you get out of the costume. It will make a good Christmas card to send out to family and friends.\\n\", \"Basically, your role as a Santa impersonator is to help spread the Christmas cheer to everyone you meet (even to yourself). The real Santa is always impressed by spreading Christmas cheer. This also gives you extra points on the nice list and a potential visit from Santa.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,513 |
How to Be a Good Scientist
|
1. Understanding the Qualities of a Good Scientist
1-1. Love science and scientific exploration.
This is perhaps the most important step, as a love for science will motivate you to study, learn, and develop your ideas with passion and curiosity.
No matter the profession, almost no one will be good at their job if they don’t go home at the end of the day feeling fulfilled by the work and feeling like they’ve contributed to something bigger than themselves.
If you love science and exploration, you are already one big step closer to becoming a good scientist, as it is always better to be yourself and do work within a niche that you enjoy and find fascinating.
1-2. Experiment with new ideas.
A significant fraction of scientific discovery is the result of hard work and serendipity, or more bluntly, sheer luck. From the discovery of penicillin by Fleming to the discovery of new ionization techniques such as MALDI, luck has frequently played a large role in scientific discovery. So, don’t be afraid to tinker or play around with new ideas or with a new approach to an existing theory. You never know when experimentation and luck will collide to create a significant discovery.
Often big discoveries come from noticing an inconsistency or oddity and then troubleshooting to figure out what caused it. Avoid focusing on developing “genius” by approaching experiments the way you think they should be done and be willing to pursue the unusual or a new approach to a problem.
Maximize your exposure to chance occurrences and events, and don’t ignore little inconsistencies in your work. Instead, consider them and pursue them further to see where the unexpected might lead.
1-3. Be patient and detail oriented.
Almost no scientific discovery just happens or occurs, in fact, as a scientist you need to have the patience to go through years of work, performing experiment after experiment, to prove your theory and verify your results.
It’s important to also notice tiny observations and record them promptly. Categorizing and analyzing data is a huge part of being a scientist, so ensure you can do this efficiently and correctly.
1-4. Be open-minded but consider all the facts and hypotheses.
A good scientist will accept whatever outcome their work has and not try to force the results of an experiment into a predetermined opinion or theory. It is also essential that to bear in mind the facts and hypotheses from work done by other scientists as a resource to inform the results of your experiments.
A good scientist will have good ethics and will not give false results or shade an experiment to fulfill the expected outcome. They should be open to the solutions made by others in their field, even when they conflict with their own theories. If you’re caught giving false results, it will be announced publicly by the Office of Research Integrity and any grant money could be forfeited.
1-5. Be open to failure.
Though you may think a scientist should be brilliant, skilled in mathematics, and incredibly precise, one of the most important skills a good scientist should have is a willingness to fail. Being a scientist is 90% failure and 10% success.
In today’s scientific world of limited scientific funding and competition for tenure-track jobs or a secure income, young scientists will likely be rejected more than accepted in the early stages of their career. It’s important to be prepared for failed experiments and time spent on research that does not get funding or lead to a definite theory.
Time that is seemingly wasted on a theory that goes nowhere may later prove to be time well spent. Through failure, you can build a strong work ethic, develop a creative approach to scientific study and be prepared for the moment when you succeed, rather than fail.
2. Developing Your Scientific Skills
2-1. Take charge of your ideas.
Challenge yourself to come up with one idea related to your project a day. Though some of them will be bad or not as useful as others, many will be good and could lead to a new experiment or theory.
Don’t be passive or shy about your ideas. As a scientist in a competitive field, you need to create your own opportunities by owning your ideas and working hard to develop them further.
2-2. Set goals.
Take out a piece of paper or open a Word doc on your computer and create a list of goals based on the project you are investigating or experimenting with.
Prioritize your goals by ranking them in order of importance. Though you may be tempted to go off on a tangent or deviate from your list of goals (which is also part of the exploratory nature of scientific discovery), try to home in on experiments that will get you closer to completing your goals.
As with any work, there are only so many hours in a day, so make smart decisions about how you spend your time achieving your scientific goals. This helps you develop your time management skills and use your time efficiently and effectively.
2-3. Collaborate and build strong partnerships.
Debunk the idea of a lone genius toiling away at secret experiments, and look around the lab, the department, or in the field for someone you think you might want to work with and learn from. More often than not, you will do better work if you collaborate with someone else, or seek the advice of a mentor.
In the scientific world, you will be expected to be able to work well independently and as part of a team, so having good participation and communication skills will only help you further your career and be successful.
Examine your projects for areas where you don’t have the time or expertise to push them forward, and be willing to partner with someone to develop your project. For example, you may contact a statistician to help analyze your data for a publication.
Not only will building strong partnerships with other colleagues, peers, and professionals be mutually beneficial, it will also keep you humble and help you put your project or idea into perspective by sharing it with someone else.
2-4. Practice your writing and reading skills.
Create a writing process that works for you, like going into an area with peace and quiet or putting on Classical music to help you focus, and stick to it. Try to do a little writing every day, and put your ideas or thoughts down on the page so you get into the habit of recording your ideas, which could later end up in a published paper or in a lecture about your latest scientific theory.
It’s important to also read up on the work being done in your field of study, whether it’s a more specific publication like Astronomical Journal or a more general one like Science Today. Stay informed on the current topics in science and consider how you can build on the work of others in your field.
2-5. Develop your presentation skills.
Avoid a dry, boring talk full of complicated data and try to tell a story that is personal while also being informative and valuable.
One technique is to start by discussing the reasons why you are doing scientific work, then lead into details about your failures and false starts, and then end with a dramatic conclusion that will leave the audience thinking about a theory or field of study in a new way.
Try using the “assertion-evidence paradigm,” where you title your slide with your main idea and then you use a picture, graph, or figure to support it.
A good scientist should be capable of explaining scientific ideas to a person who is not a scientist. So always consider your audience and try to demonstrate your enthusiasm for your field of study without being overly complicated or hard to understand.
2-6. Maintain a balance between hard work and rest.
Though hard work is essential to being a good scientist, it’s important to strike a balance between professional work and personal downtime. Don’t let yourself get burnt out.
It may be tempting to spend 20 hours a day in the lab, developing your ideas, but sometimes the best thoughts come when the mind is at rest, or engaged in other activities that challenge your brain in a different way.
Making time for a hobby or activity outside of scientific work will allow you to de-stress and perhaps also lead to a fresh perspective on a theory or thought you have been working on or struggling to solve.
Tips
Other important skills you need to be a good scientist include skepticism, creativity, problem-solving, self-management, and objectivity.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understanding the Qualities of a Good Scientist\\n1-1. Love science and scientific exploration.\\nThis is perhaps the most important step, as a love for science will motivate you to study, learn, and develop your ideas with passion and curiosity.\\nNo matter the profession, almost no one will be good at their job if they don’t go home at the end of the day feeling fulfilled by the work and feeling like they’ve contributed to something bigger than themselves.\\nIf you love science and exploration, you are already one big step closer to becoming a good scientist, as it is always better to be yourself and do work within a niche that you enjoy and find fascinating.\\n1-2. Experiment with new ideas.\\nA significant fraction of scientific discovery is the result of hard work and serendipity, or more bluntly, sheer luck. From the discovery of penicillin by Fleming to the discovery of new ionization techniques such as MALDI, luck has frequently played a large role in scientific discovery. So, don’t be afraid to tinker or play around with new ideas or with a new approach to an existing theory. You never know when experimentation and luck will collide to create a significant discovery.\\nOften big discoveries come from noticing an inconsistency or oddity and then troubleshooting to figure out what caused it. Avoid focusing on developing “genius” by approaching experiments the way you think they should be done and be willing to pursue the unusual or a new approach to a problem.\\nMaximize your exposure to chance occurrences and events, and don’t ignore little inconsistencies in your work. Instead, consider them and pursue them further to see where the unexpected might lead.\\n1-3. Be patient and detail oriented.\\nAlmost no scientific discovery just happens or occurs, in fact, as a scientist you need to have the patience to go through years of work, performing experiment after experiment, to prove your theory and verify your results.\\nIt’s important to also notice tiny observations and record them promptly. Categorizing and analyzing data is a huge part of being a scientist, so ensure you can do this efficiently and correctly.\\n1-4. Be open-minded but consider all the facts and hypotheses.\\nA good scientist will accept whatever outcome their work has and not try to force the results of an experiment into a predetermined opinion or theory. It is also essential that to bear in mind the facts and hypotheses from work done by other scientists as a resource to inform the results of your experiments.\\nA good scientist will have good ethics and will not give false results or shade an experiment to fulfill the expected outcome. They should be open to the solutions made by others in their field, even when they conflict with their own theories. If you’re caught giving false results, it will be announced publicly by the Office of Research Integrity and any grant money could be forfeited.\\n1-5. Be open to failure.\\nThough you may think a scientist should be brilliant, skilled in mathematics, and incredibly precise, one of the most important skills a good scientist should have is a willingness to fail. Being a scientist is 90% failure and 10% success.\\nIn today’s scientific world of limited scientific funding and competition for tenure-track jobs or a secure income, young scientists will likely be rejected more than accepted in the early stages of their career. It’s important to be prepared for failed experiments and time spent on research that does not get funding or lead to a definite theory.\\nTime that is seemingly wasted on a theory that goes nowhere may later prove to be time well spent. Through failure, you can build a strong work ethic, develop a creative approach to scientific study and be prepared for the moment when you succeed, rather than fail.\\n2. Developing Your Scientific Skills\\n2-1. Take charge of your ideas.\\nChallenge yourself to come up with one idea related to your project a day. Though some of them will be bad or not as useful as others, many will be good and could lead to a new experiment or theory.\\nDon’t be passive or shy about your ideas. As a scientist in a competitive field, you need to create your own opportunities by owning your ideas and working hard to develop them further.\\n2-2. Set goals.\\nTake out a piece of paper or open a Word doc on your computer and create a list of goals based on the project you are investigating or experimenting with.\\nPrioritize your goals by ranking them in order of importance. Though you may be tempted to go off on a tangent or deviate from your list of goals (which is also part of the exploratory nature of scientific discovery), try to home in on experiments that will get you closer to completing your goals.\\nAs with any work, there are only so many hours in a day, so make smart decisions about how you spend your time achieving your scientific goals. This helps you develop your time management skills and use your time efficiently and effectively.\\n2-3. Collaborate and build strong partnerships.\\nDebunk the idea of a lone genius toiling away at secret experiments, and look around the lab, the department, or in the field for someone you think you might want to work with and learn from. More often than not, you will do better work if you collaborate with someone else, or seek the advice of a mentor.\\nIn the scientific world, you will be expected to be able to work well independently and as part of a team, so having good participation and communication skills will only help you further your career and be successful.\\nExamine your projects for areas where you don’t have the time or expertise to push them forward, and be willing to partner with someone to develop your project. For example, you may contact a statistician to help analyze your data for a publication.\\nNot only will building strong partnerships with other colleagues, peers, and professionals be mutually beneficial, it will also keep you humble and help you put your project or idea into perspective by sharing it with someone else.\\n2-4. Practice your writing and reading skills.\\nCreate a writing process that works for you, like going into an area with peace and quiet or putting on Classical music to help you focus, and stick to it. Try to do a little writing every day, and put your ideas or thoughts down on the page so you get into the habit of recording your ideas, which could later end up in a published paper or in a lecture about your latest scientific theory.\\nIt’s important to also read up on the work being done in your field of study, whether it’s a more specific publication like Astronomical Journal or a more general one like Science Today. Stay informed on the current topics in science and consider how you can build on the work of others in your field.\\n2-5. Develop your presentation skills.\\nAvoid a dry, boring talk full of complicated data and try to tell a story that is personal while also being informative and valuable.\\nOne technique is to start by discussing the reasons why you are doing scientific work, then lead into details about your failures and false starts, and then end with a dramatic conclusion that will leave the audience thinking about a theory or field of study in a new way.\\nTry using the “assertion-evidence paradigm,” where you title your slide with your main idea and then you use a picture, graph, or figure to support it.\\nA good scientist should be capable of explaining scientific ideas to a person who is not a scientist. So always consider your audience and try to demonstrate your enthusiasm for your field of study without being overly complicated or hard to understand.\\n2-6. Maintain a balance between hard work and rest.\\nThough hard work is essential to being a good scientist, it’s important to strike a balance between professional work and personal downtime. Don’t let yourself get burnt out.\\nIt may be tempting to spend 20 hours a day in the lab, developing your ideas, but sometimes the best thoughts come when the mind is at rest, or engaged in other activities that challenge your brain in a different way.\\nMaking time for a hobby or activity outside of scientific work will allow you to de-stress and perhaps also lead to a fresh perspective on a theory or thought you have been working on or struggling to solve.\\nTips\\nOther important skills you need to be a good scientist include skepticism, creativity, problem-solving, self-management, and objectivity.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Maybe you’re a young, budding scientist eager to make an impact on the world, or a more seasoned veteran of scientific study and are curious about how to get better at your job. Either way, there are several key steps to becoming a good scientist and cultivating your ability to make positive contributions to the scientific community, and potentially, to the world.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding the Qualities of a Good Scientist\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Love science and scientific exploration.\", \"描述\": \"This is perhaps the most important step, as a love for science will motivate you to study, learn, and develop your ideas with passion and curiosity.\\nNo matter the profession, almost no one will be good at their job if they don’t go home at the end of the day feeling fulfilled by the work and feeling like they’ve contributed to something bigger than themselves.\\nIf you love science and exploration, you are already one big step closer to becoming a good scientist, as it is always better to be yourself and do work within a niche that you enjoy and find fascinating.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Experiment with new ideas.\", \"描述\": \"A significant fraction of scientific discovery is the result of hard work and serendipity, or more bluntly, sheer luck. From the discovery of penicillin by Fleming to the discovery of new ionization techniques such as MALDI, luck has frequently played a large role in scientific discovery. So, don’t be afraid to tinker or play around with new ideas or with a new approach to an existing theory. You never know when experimentation and luck will collide to create a significant discovery.\\nOften big discoveries come from noticing an inconsistency or oddity and then troubleshooting to figure out what caused it. Avoid focusing on developing “genius” by approaching experiments the way you think they should be done and be willing to pursue the unusual or a new approach to a problem.\\nMaximize your exposure to chance occurrences and events, and don’t ignore little inconsistencies in your work. Instead, consider them and pursue them further to see where the unexpected might lead.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be patient and detail oriented.\", \"描述\": \"Almost no scientific discovery just happens or occurs, in fact, as a scientist you need to have the patience to go through years of work, performing experiment after experiment, to prove your theory and verify your results.\\nIt’s important to also notice tiny observations and record them promptly. Categorizing and analyzing data is a huge part of being a scientist, so ensure you can do this efficiently and correctly.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be open-minded but consider all the facts and hypotheses.\", \"描述\": \"A good scientist will accept whatever outcome their work has and not try to force the results of an experiment into a predetermined opinion or theory. It is also essential that to bear in mind the facts and hypotheses from work done by other scientists as a resource to inform the results of your experiments.\\nA good scientist will have good ethics and will not give false results or shade an experiment to fulfill the expected outcome. They should be open to the solutions made by others in their field, even when they conflict with their own theories. If you’re caught giving false results, it will be announced publicly by the Office of Research Integrity and any grant money could be forfeited.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be open to failure.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may think a scientist should be brilliant, skilled in mathematics, and incredibly precise, one of the most important skills a good scientist should have is a willingness to fail. Being a scientist is 90% failure and 10% success.\\nIn today’s scientific world of limited scientific funding and competition for tenure-track jobs or a secure income, young scientists will likely be rejected more than accepted in the early stages of their career. It’s important to be prepared for failed experiments and time spent on research that does not get funding or lead to a definite theory.\\nTime that is seemingly wasted on a theory that goes nowhere may later prove to be time well spent. Through failure, you can build a strong work ethic, develop a creative approach to scientific study and be prepared for the moment when you succeed, rather than fail.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Your Scientific Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take charge of your ideas.\", \"描述\": \"Challenge yourself to come up with one idea related to your project a day. Though some of them will be bad or not as useful as others, many will be good and could lead to a new experiment or theory.\\nDon’t be passive or shy about your ideas. As a scientist in a competitive field, you need to create your own opportunities by owning your ideas and working hard to develop them further.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set goals.\", \"描述\": \"Take out a piece of paper or open a Word doc on your computer and create a list of goals based on the project you are investigating or experimenting with.\\nPrioritize your goals by ranking them in order of importance. Though you may be tempted to go off on a tangent or deviate from your list of goals (which is also part of the exploratory nature of scientific discovery), try to home in on experiments that will get you closer to completing your goals.\\nAs with any work, there are only so many hours in a day, so make smart decisions about how you spend your time achieving your scientific goals. This helps you develop your time management skills and use your time efficiently and effectively.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Collaborate and build strong partnerships.\", \"描述\": \"Debunk the idea of a lone genius toiling away at secret experiments, and look around the lab, the department, or in the field for someone you think you might want to work with and learn from. More often than not, you will do better work if you collaborate with someone else, or seek the advice of a mentor.\\nIn the scientific world, you will be expected to be able to work well independently and as part of a team, so having good participation and communication skills will only help you further your career and be successful.\\nExamine your projects for areas where you don’t have the time or expertise to push them forward, and be willing to partner with someone to develop your project. For example, you may contact a statistician to help analyze your data for a publication.\\nNot only will building strong partnerships with other colleagues, peers, and professionals be mutually beneficial, it will also keep you humble and help you put your project or idea into perspective by sharing it with someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice your writing and reading skills.\", \"描述\": \"Create a writing process that works for you, like going into an area with peace and quiet or putting on Classical music to help you focus, and stick to it. Try to do a little writing every day, and put your ideas or thoughts down on the page so you get into the habit of recording your ideas, which could later end up in a published paper or in a lecture about your latest scientific theory.\\nIt’s important to also read up on the work being done in your field of study, whether it’s a more specific publication like Astronomical Journal or a more general one like Science Today. Stay informed on the current topics in science and consider how you can build on the work of others in your field.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Develop your presentation skills.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid a dry, boring talk full of complicated data and try to tell a story that is personal while also being informative and valuable.\\nOne technique is to start by discussing the reasons why you are doing scientific work, then lead into details about your failures and false starts, and then end with a dramatic conclusion that will leave the audience thinking about a theory or field of study in a new way.\\nTry using the “assertion-evidence paradigm,” where you title your slide with your main idea and then you use a picture, graph, or figure to support it.\\nA good scientist should be capable of explaining scientific ideas to a person who is not a scientist. So always consider your audience and try to demonstrate your enthusiasm for your field of study without being overly complicated or hard to understand.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Maintain a balance between hard work and rest.\", \"描述\": \"Though hard work is essential to being a good scientist, it’s important to strike a balance between professional work and personal downtime. Don’t let yourself get burnt out.\\nIt may be tempting to spend 20 hours a day in the lab, developing your ideas, but sometimes the best thoughts come when the mind is at rest, or engaged in other activities that challenge your brain in a different way.\\nMaking time for a hobby or activity outside of scientific work will allow you to de-stress and perhaps also lead to a fresh perspective on a theory or thought you have been working on or struggling to solve.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Other important skills you need to be a good scientist include skepticism, creativity, problem-solving, self-management, and objectivity.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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wikihow
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4,514 |
How to Be a Good Section Leader
|
1. Steps
1-1. Understand what being section leader means.
Being a section leader is harder than being a non-section leader; not only do you have to worry about your music, but you have to worry about the music of your section. It also doesn't mean you get to be some dictator; you have to help your section. It's a lot like being an administrator on a website; you're a regular editor, but with a mop. You are there to serve the people in your section, not to rule over them.
1-2. Lead by example
Not only will this let your section know what to do, but it is also a very kind method of leadership. You were most likely chosen because of your playing or marching skills; now is your time to pass these on.
1-3. Get on friendly terms with your section.
When you become friends with your section, they'll be more likely to listen to you, and you'll get a better feel of their playing ability.
1-4. Learn and memorize your music.
As section leader, you're expected to know it before everyone else. If you don't know your music, how can you help others with their music?
1-5. Hold sectionals.
Sectionals are time when your section is the focus, not the entire ensemble. Find the difficult passages and go over them with your section.Try to start with what they did right and then move on to what you are trying to fix, and then end on a good note to keep them happy.
1-6. Help your section when they need it.
Let them practice, but if you see someone struggling with a part or playing it wrong without realizing it, go and help them.
1-7. Hold your section to their promises.
If someone said they'll learn a passage by next Tuesday, they better have it down when next Tuesday comes rolling by. If they don't, ask them why they didn't.
1-8. Be understanding.
If someone can't make it to the sectional because their grandma died, don't hold that to him. People have lives outside of school and marching band.
1-9. Don't be afraid to goof around with your section, as long as they're behaving themselves.
You're still a member of your section, and your extra authority doesn't mean you can't take part in the rest of the section's festivities. In fact, spending more time with your section only makes you a better leader. Make sure the playing around is at the appropriate time and doesn't interfere with productivity
1-10. Keep your section under control.
This doesn't mean order them around, but when they get out of hand, let them know. If necessary, seek help from another section leader or the ensemble director. Remember, rehearsal time is limited and essential to the success of the whole ensemble. Keep your section quiet and focused so they don't miss important instruction.
1-11. Listen to both sides of a conflict.
If there's a conflict between two sides, you will probably have to be the mediator between both sides. If it starts to get physical, keep them apart and tell someone to get help from an adult as soon as possible.
1-12. Be on the same page as your co-section leader, if you have one.
If you're telling your section something completely different than the other section leader, it will only confuse your section.
1-13. Remember the team.
No matter what goals you may have for your section, don't lose sight of what is best for the entire ensemble. Each section must work together to achieve what is best for the entire ensemble. Your music directors and drum majors goals should take priority over your own. Also, being a section leader is a privilege, not a right. Remember... with great power comes great responsibility, as said by Uncle Ben.
1-14. Always think about what you could do to improve yourself, you are not perfect.
Make yourself approachable and ask what you need to do to improve your skills, or how you handle situations.
1-15. Admit that you are in the wrong sometimes.
There is nothing more irritating than having a leader that thinks they are right about everything. You are human you make mistakes be a big enough person to admit your wrongs and move on.
1-16. Do not dwell on mistakes your section makes, address the issue quickly then move on.
You know how teachers rant about how we are wasting time by talking, but the teacher rants for 20 minutes wasting everyones time? Don't be that leader, say what you have to say quickly.
1-17. Stay positive if you have a bad attitude the whole section will follow your lead.
If your having a bad day tell your section and then push yourself to be positive. This will increase productivity and will keep your director happy.
Tips
Do your best to offer advice in a way that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. For instance, instead of yelling at them for always missing the same accidental, say something like "by the way, there's a B flat in measure 7... make sure you've all got it marked". Wording is key.
Make sectional t-shirts!
Have sectional parties where everyone in the section can bond and have fun
Warnings
Remember: A good leader is selfless. Take the blame; give the credit away.
Don't be bossy. There is a fine line between asserting yourself and just being a jerk.
Make sure you don't get too power-hungry; remember that being section leader doesn't mean you have to control every minute aspect of your section's lives.
Don't let other people in your section tell you or your section what to do. You're the one that will have more experience, thus you will probably know better than your section. Listen to advice, but make your own decisions.
|
{
"create_time": "20230517 10:52:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Understand what being section leader means.\\nBeing a section leader is harder than being a non-section leader; not only do you have to worry about your music, but you have to worry about the music of your section. It also doesn't mean you get to be some dictator; you have to help your section. It's a lot like being an administrator on a website; you're a regular editor, but with a mop. You are there to serve the people in your section, not to rule over them.\\n1-2. Lead by example\\nNot only will this let your section know what to do, but it is also a very kind method of leadership. You were most likely chosen because of your playing or marching skills; now is your time to pass these on.\\n1-3. Get on friendly terms with your section.\\nWhen you become friends with your section, they'll be more likely to listen to you, and you'll get a better feel of their playing ability.\\n1-4. Learn and memorize your music.\\nAs section leader, you're expected to know it before everyone else. If you don't know your music, how can you help others with their music?\\n1-5. Hold sectionals.\\nSectionals are time when your section is the focus, not the entire ensemble. Find the difficult passages and go over them with your section.Try to start with what they did right and then move on to what you are trying to fix, and then end on a good note to keep them happy.\\n1-6. Help your section when they need it.\\nLet them practice, but if you see someone struggling with a part or playing it wrong without realizing it, go and help them.\\n1-7. Hold your section to their promises.\\nIf someone said they'll learn a passage by next Tuesday, they better have it down when next Tuesday comes rolling by. If they don't, ask them why they didn't.\\n1-8. Be understanding.\\nIf someone can't make it to the sectional because their grandma died, don't hold that to him. People have lives outside of school and marching band.\\n1-9. Don't be afraid to goof around with your section, as long as they're behaving themselves.\\nYou're still a member of your section, and your extra authority doesn't mean you can't take part in the rest of the section's festivities. In fact, spending more time with your section only makes you a better leader. Make sure the playing around is at the appropriate time and doesn't interfere with productivity\\n1-10. Keep your section under control.\\nThis doesn't mean order them around, but when they get out of hand, let them know. If necessary, seek help from another section leader or the ensemble director. Remember, rehearsal time is limited and essential to the success of the whole ensemble. Keep your section quiet and focused so they don't miss important instruction.\\n1-11. Listen to both sides of a conflict.\\nIf there's a conflict between two sides, you will probably have to be the mediator between both sides. If it starts to get physical, keep them apart and tell someone to get help from an adult as soon as possible.\\n1-12. Be on the same page as your co-section leader, if you have one.\\nIf you're telling your section something completely different than the other section leader, it will only confuse your section.\\n1-13. Remember the team.\\nNo matter what goals you may have for your section, don't lose sight of what is best for the entire ensemble. Each section must work together to achieve what is best for the entire ensemble. Your music directors and drum majors goals should take priority over your own. Also, being a section leader is a privilege, not a right. Remember... with great power comes great responsibility, as said by Uncle Ben.\\n1-14. Always think about what you could do to improve yourself, you are not perfect.\\nMake yourself approachable and ask what you need to do to improve your skills, or how you handle situations.\\n1-15. Admit that you are in the wrong sometimes.\\nThere is nothing more irritating than having a leader that thinks they are right about everything. You are human you make mistakes be a big enough person to admit your wrongs and move on.\\n1-16. Do not dwell on mistakes your section makes, address the issue quickly then move on.\\nYou know how teachers rant about how we are wasting time by talking, but the teacher rants for 20 minutes wasting everyones time? Don't be that leader, say what you have to say quickly.\\n1-17. Stay positive if you have a bad attitude the whole section will follow your lead.\\nIf your having a bad day tell your section and then push yourself to be positive. This will increase productivity and will keep your director happy.\\nTips\\nDo your best to offer advice in a way that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. For instance, instead of yelling at them for always missing the same accidental, say something like \\\"by the way, there's a B flat in measure 7... make sure you've all got it marked\\\". Wording is key.\\nMake sectional t-shirts!\\nHave sectional parties where everyone in the section can bond and have fun\\nWarnings\\nRemember: A good leader is selfless. Take the blame; give the credit away.\\nDon't be bossy. There is a fine line between asserting yourself and just being a jerk.\\nMake sure you don't get too power-hungry; remember that being section leader doesn't mean you have to control every minute aspect of your section's lives.\\nDon't let other people in your section tell you or your section what to do. You're the one that will have more experience, thus you will probably know better than your section. Listen to advice, but make your own decisions.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Great, you were just made Section Leader by your Band director. Now what? Your main goals are to keep your section happy, out of trouble, and to play a good show.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand what being section leader means.\", \"描述\": \"Being a section leader is harder than being a non-section leader; not only do you have to worry about your music, but you have to worry about the music of your section. It also doesn't mean you get to be some dictator; you have to help your section. It's a lot like being an administrator on a website; you're a regular editor, but with a mop. You are there to serve the people in your section, not to rule over them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Lead by example\", \"描述\": \"Not only will this let your section know what to do, but it is also a very kind method of leadership. You were most likely chosen because of your playing or marching skills; now is your time to pass these on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get on friendly terms with your section.\", \"描述\": \"When you become friends with your section, they'll be more likely to listen to you, and you'll get a better feel of their playing ability.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn and memorize your music.\", \"描述\": \"As section leader, you're expected to know it before everyone else. If you don't know your music, how can you help others with their music?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Hold sectionals.\", \"描述\": \"Sectionals are time when your section is the focus, not the entire ensemble. Find the difficult passages and go over them with your section.Try to start with what they did right and then move on to what you are trying to fix, and then end on a good note to keep them happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Help your section when they need it.\", \"描述\": \"Let them practice, but if you see someone struggling with a part or playing it wrong without realizing it, go and help them.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Hold your section to their promises.\", \"描述\": \"If someone said they'll learn a passage by next Tuesday, they better have it down when next Tuesday comes rolling by. If they don't, ask them why they didn't.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be understanding.\", \"描述\": \"If someone can't make it to the sectional because their grandma died, don't hold that to him. People have lives outside of school and marching band.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to goof around with your section, as long as they're behaving themselves.\", \"描述\": \"You're still a member of your section, and your extra authority doesn't mean you can't take part in the rest of the section's festivities. In fact, spending more time with your section only makes you a better leader. Make sure the playing around is at the appropriate time and doesn't interfere with productivity\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Keep your section under control.\", \"描述\": \"This doesn't mean order them around, but when they get out of hand, let them know. If necessary, seek help from another section leader or the ensemble director. Remember, rehearsal time is limited and essential to the success of the whole ensemble. Keep your section quiet and focused so they don't miss important instruction.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Listen to both sides of a conflict.\", \"描述\": \"If there's a conflict between two sides, you will probably have to be the mediator between both sides. If it starts to get physical, keep them apart and tell someone to get help from an adult as soon as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Be on the same page as your co-section leader, if you have one.\", \"描述\": \"If you're telling your section something completely different than the other section leader, it will only confuse your section.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Remember the team.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what goals you may have for your section, don't lose sight of what is best for the entire ensemble. Each section must work together to achieve what is best for the entire ensemble. Your music directors and drum majors goals should take priority over your own. Also, being a section leader is a privilege, not a right. Remember... with great power comes great responsibility, as said by Uncle Ben.\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Always think about what you could do to improve yourself, you are not perfect.\", \"描述\": \"Make yourself approachable and ask what you need to do to improve your skills, or how you handle situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Admit that you are in the wrong sometimes.\", \"描述\": \"There is nothing more irritating than having a leader that thinks they are right about everything. You are human you make mistakes be a big enough person to admit your wrongs and move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Do not dwell on mistakes your section makes, address the issue quickly then move on.\", \"描述\": \"You know how teachers rant about how we are wasting time by talking, but the teacher rants for 20 minutes wasting everyones time? Don't be that leader, say what you have to say quickly.\"}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"Stay positive if you have a bad attitude the whole section will follow your lead.\", \"描述\": \"If your having a bad day tell your section and then push yourself to be positive. This will increase productivity and will keep your director happy.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do your best to offer advice in a way that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. For instance, instead of yelling at them for always missing the same accidental, say something like \\\"by the way, there's a B flat in measure 7... make sure you've all got it marked\\\". Wording is key.\\n\", \"Make sectional t-shirts!\\n\", \"Have sectional parties where everyone in the section can bond and have fun\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Remember: A good leader is selfless. Take the blame; give the credit away.\\n\", \"Don't be bossy. There is a fine line between asserting yourself and just being a jerk.\\n\", \"Make sure you don't get too power-hungry; remember that being section leader doesn't mean you have to control every minute aspect of your section's lives.\\n\", \"Don't let other people in your section tell you or your section what to do. You're the one that will have more experience, thus you will probably know better than your section. Listen to advice, but make your own decisions.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
}
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